DISCLAIMER: Don´t Own them, Never have , never will …….
NOTES: Sorry, still takes me so long to update!
Thanks to all my kind reviewers for bearing with me!!! I grovel at your patient feet!!!!
Thanks for reminding me why I write this!
( Chaos …Seth is a treat and the whole show is brilliant! I even loooove Sandy´s eyebrows!
Innogen ……I will try to do as you say!)
The new chapter is also well on its way!
STYX
It didn't feel right, going through Inara´s things. Most of Inara´s belongings were in her shuttle, but Mal had remembered a few storage containers stowed away safely in one of Serenity´s secret compartments. Things that Inara had sorted out, but was unwilling to part with.
The simple truth was that neither River nor Kaylee owned any kind of clothing that was even close to the provocative variety needed for their disguise.
Another truth was; neither did Inara…at least not really. The companion owned a lot of gowns and clothes that were exotic, beautiful and seductive, but everything was stylish and classy. Nothing Inara owned looked cheap or promiscuous enough to belong to a straight of the mill prostitute and they were running out of time. Wash was already setting them down on Hades.
" She has so many pretty things!" Kaylee sighed. Even the clothes she had obviously not worn in a long time were in perfect condition and looked expensive.
" I hope she doesn't mind …you know. Snooping through her things, it´s just…."
" …not right." River finished, looking up at the pretty mechanic from where she was kneeling on the floor, going through the contents of a huge wooden trunk.
" I know, it feels like we're intruding. These are her things is, she did not throw them out, she wanted to keep them." River lifted another shirt out of the trunk and frowned.
" I'll never fit into any of this , I'm not ….shapely enough."
In the end Kaylee and River settled for an interesting mixture of attire that was never meant to be worn together.
Mal gaped at the two of them for full two minutes before he started shaking his head.
Simon recovered a lot faster, shaking his head more rapidly, muttering the words, " No way!"
over and over.
"I kinda like it!" Jayne growled, trying very hard not to grin evilly at the doctor's obvious discomfort. Zoë slapped him on the arm with an impatient glare.
" Will you stop it!"
" What is all this ruckus about again, children?" Wash asked playfully as he entered the mass from the corridor leading towards the cockpit.
" Oh my …." He whispered, stopping dead in his tracks.
At this Malcolm Reynolds snapped back to life.
"You are not leaving the gorram´ ship like this!" he said determinedly, nodding towards River and Kaylee.
"But Captain….."
"Get dressed now….go lil´Kaylee, now!"
"Why?"
"Why?" Mal lifted an eyebrow.
"Have you looked at yourself lately?"
A part of Malcolm Reynolds was still dumb folded. His mind just could not make the connection between his sweet, wholesome Kaylee and the woman that stood in front of them now. She was dressed in what looked like a black satin corsage that left her shoulders naked and started dangerously low above her bosom. It was so tight that the rise and fall of her chest gave way too a lot more fantasies than Mal was at ease with. The matching black skirt was skimpy and seemed to consist of nothing more than several layers of tattered, shiny cloth. A pair of knee-high boots and a generous dose of make up completed the outfit.
River's get up was not much better, she wore a midriff baring top which looked by far too much like nothing more than a glimmering, red handkerchief tied behind her neck and her back with neat bows. Since she had apparently not found any other thing of Inara´s that fit her, Simon´s sister had settled for simply wrapping a sarong low over her hips and knotting it at one side of her waist. Her right leg was clearly visible all the way up every time she moved.
Mal shook his head again.
"I'm supposed to look like a prostitute, captain!"
"She's right , Sir!" Zoe interjected quietly.
"Shiny! Just Shiny!" Mal mumbled angrily. He knew Kaylee was right, they needed to blend in. If they didn´t things could go very, very wrong for them …..but still…that did not mean he had to like this any better! He just could not look at them dressed up like this. It did not sit right with him. Still……he knew he´d go to a lot further lengths to save Inara.
" I think it´ll work!" Jayne said, leaning back against one of the cabinets, still grinning.
Simon turned to shoot the mercenary a foul look. That was his sister, dressed up like a common prostitute! How …how …had it had come to this?
Sometimes Simon was still unable to wrap his mind around the recent developments.
This was not what he had in mind when he had set out to save his sister from the alliance!
And now …..
"River….." he said, shaking his head.
"Oh Simon, it's going to be alright!"
She walked over to him, taking his hand.
"Look at you, Mei-Mei!"
"It's just a disguise Simon, a ploy….."
" I know, but still it´s ...so very disturbing!"
River looked at her brother, pressing her lips to his cheek.
"Don't worry, if any of those guys in that brothel tries anything…." She looked over her shoulder to the other man in her life.
" Jayne will hurt them."
"You ruddin´ bet I will!" Jayne ground out.
"Oh …you must be loving this!" Simon bellowed at him.
" Watcha talking about now, doctor?"
" Don´t play dumb with me! That is my little sister you're leering at!"
Jayne opened his mouth to counter, but Mal´s warning glance made him think the better of it. Right…… maybe telling the gorram´doctor Tam that he had seen his baby sister in less clothes by far, was not such a good idea considering their current situation! So Jayne settled glaring at him.
What Mal had not taken into account was that lil´ River Tam was far beyond the point of letting men squabble over her like she wasn´t even there.
Sharing an annoyed look with Kaylee, River rolled her eyes.
" Relax Simon. Jayne is hardly the one you need to be worrying about, he has already seen me naked!"
Kaylee couldn´t hold back the giggle that escaped her, no matter how hard she tried. Zoë lifted an eyebrow at Mal who simply groaned.
" Mei-Mei…."
" She did not just say that honey, did she?" Wash asked his wife, his facial expression as neutral as he could make it..
That gorram´girl! Jayne could not help but grin even wider, despite the murderous looks from Simon and Mal.
Hell ….it wasn´t as though nobody had known!
" Usually helps if you wanna…."
" Jayne!" Mal yelled sharply. "Can we please keep the ghastly details to ourselves, if you don´t mind? "
Wash shook his head.
" I don´t think I wanna be here for this. This is not something I want to have running around my head!"
River shrugged at Kaylee again, her eyes lingering on Jayne for a second.
" Shall we proceed with the plan then?"
" Yeah Captain, this is hooker look is not a very comfortable wear!"
" Shiny …..Wash get the shuttle ready, we´re going to town!"
" That bad influence we talked about?" Mal hissed to Jayne as he passed.
" Really seems to be catchin´on!"
" I should have found another ship for us!" Simon mumbled to himself as River kissed him again on the cheek before she turned to leave.
"So are we clear on the plan?"
River and Kaylee moaned in unison.
"Yes…."
Malcolm Reynolds swivelled around in his chair to look at the two girls. It was still a shock for him; every time he did not look at them he seemed to forget how they were made up now.
"Then let's hear it again!"
Kaylee gave him an angry scowl.
" I really think we got it, you repeated it all the way down here, about twenty times!"
"Good, then tell me …again!"
The mechanic sighed.
"Fine …we go in, look for one of Niska´s men as unobtrusive as possible."
"And if you even think anybody suspects…"
"We leave." River answered quietly.
"When we find them, we try to one of them take us to one of the rooms on the upper level, a room with a window outback."
"And ….?" Mal prodded.
"And once we're in, I'll put him out with the hydro-spray Simon gave me! Then we´ll signal you …..and then we´ll all get him out through the window!"
"So glad we´re on the same page!"
Jayne stood by, staring at the two of them. Despite the fact that he kind of enjoyed seeing his girl in such an interesting outfit, showing off that much skin…..there was a little voice in his head. A voice that seemed to mind……a voice that was getting louder and louder. He knew too well that the ruddin´girl could take care of herself, still it didn't make things better. Never hurt to make sure, in his profession Jayne had learned that the hard way
" C´mere for a second!"
Jayne rasped, taking River´s arm, leading her away from Mal and Kaylee. It was an almost futile move, since the shuttle was not that spacious.
" What?" River looked up at him with a puzzled expression.
" Where you hidin´ that gorram spray?"
" Jayne…." River shook her head, frowning.
" Oh ….don´t ruddin´ tell me, I´ve got a feelin´ I don´t wanna know!"
" Jayne.." River said softly, stepping closer. " Kaylee has it!"
"Oh …right!" He gave her that feral smile she knew so well by now.
"You know, my brother was right. You are leering."
Jayne laughed at her throatily, shaking his head.
" Gorramit, girl ! Can´t help it, you seen youself?"
She scowled at him a little unhappily.
"This is just a makeshift outfit, I didn´t fit into any of those clothes. I seem to be lacking the right …curves."
" Ow …c´mon, Lil´ Miss Tam!" he laughed, leaning down to whisper in her ear.
" You got all it takes, darlin´. To me you are perfect."
River moved her hand over his arm, leaning against him for a second. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Mal still talking to Kaylee with a solemn expression on his face.
" He´s worried." She whispered. " He´s so tense from all this, being worried about us, Inara, the ship ….he wants to kill Niska."
" Can´t blame him." Jayne told her with a shrug. " Now listen, I got something here I want you to take with you as precaution."
River searched his face for a second.
" Knife?" River asked flatly. If the blade was slim enough she could probably hide it somewhere…..
But Jayne shook his head, pulling something out of his pocket.
" Knew I bought that gorram´ thing for a reason all those years ago, never got to use the ruddin´ piece, but it´s just right for this!"
River looked at the thing in his hand. Arching a fine eyebrow at him, she smiled playfully.
" My , my ….Mr. Cobb, that has to be the tiniest gun in the whole ´verse!"
The minute revolver looked more like a pretty toy in his big hand. It was silver and well maintained, but even in River´s small, slender hand it looked hardly real; a plaything, nothing more. She needn´t ask if it worked, Jayne would not own a gun if it didn´t shoot to kill.
" Figured it´s small enough to hide it, even in your outfit. There´s only six bullets and they´re ruddin´small so if you use it go for the throat or sumthin´ …."
" Thank you!" she whispered, giving him a small smile.
" I know exactly where this goes…."
She slipped it into her garter, on the inside of her left thigh.
Jayne´s eyebrows jumped up as he stared at her.
" Get out of here Miss Tam, or you´ll be giving me ideas!"
River rolled her yes at him with a bemused expression on her face.
" Looking at my feet is usually sufficient to give you ideas, Jayne Cobb!"
Mal stood, looking over at them.
" Ready? Let´s do this!"
