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It's incredible. First Burmecia, then Cleyra, now Lindblum...when will it end? It seems so long ago I put on my armor and readied myself for combat. Now the regent has surrendered, and an entire district has been destroyed. Still there is no rest for us. We must gather supplies and load them onto the ship, the Blue Narcissus. Where are we going I wonder. What more could Bhrane possibly want? I don't know, but it all disturbs me. Is the Alexandrian army...obsolete? Are soldiers needed anymore? Am I going to be out of a job?
I don't think I was meant for this, I can't handle this carnage I see before me. Lindblum has never done us any wrong. I joined the army to protect Alexandria, not to kill innocent people. Still, I have orders, I shouldn't be thinking. I wonder what would happen, if the whole of the army decided not to follow these grotesque commands? Perhaps her majesty would just kill us all, there will always be people willing to follow orders blindly. Nothing can be gained by refusal.
The eidolons...the magnitude of their powers are terrifying. It makes me sick, none of those people had a chance. No soldier, or person, should die a death like that. It's not right. And what about the black mages? Mass-produced powerhouses that are docile and obedient. I bet we'll all lose our jobs, even General Beatrix.
I want to scream. I want to throw off my helmet and resign, I want to go and help those poor innocents who are burning in the fires we have started. I can't. I have my duties. I have my orders.
Her majesty is insane. We've done something terrible. We're playing with powers that no-one should have. I have failed my mission as a soldier of Alexandria. I could not protect my monarch from herself. I need some way to ease my conscience, to purge my soul of this-this..overwhelming guilt I feel. There must be something I can do to make amends. Perhaps I shall sneak off, and go help with the reconstruction efforts of Burmecia and Lindblum.
There I go, thinking again. Perhaps things would be easier if I just stopped trying to figure things out. Why is she doing this? Why would she want to attack Lindblum, and what does she want with the Falcon's Claw? I am uneasy.
I can't stand myself like this, I am a simple, honest woman. I'm true to who I am, always. I pride myself on that. I am going to shed this armor that has become stained with blood. I am going to quit the army, and go help who I can. The armor has become to heavy with guilt for me to bear any longer. I will not stand among the ranks as long as Bhrane intends to bring suffering to others.
I slowly take off my helmet. I toss it aside, into a pile of rubble, take in a breath. I am free.
