Disclaimer : Oh who am I kidding??? You all know they aren´t mine!!!

NOTES : HELLO…………okay ..a warning first! I think this is way beyond fluffy. It might even be so cheesy that you might want to have a nice box of crackers while you´re reading it! I might have gotten carried a way just a little. ( And by a little I mean …a lot!!!) Man …I just read it again and there were parts that made me cringe!!!!! SO SORRY!!!! After this chapter there will be an epilogue and then a new story!! THANKS TO ALL REVIEWERS who share my obsessive love for Firefly! You guys are the best! The song is written by the talented, brilliant Jeff Buckley who died far too early!

( Hey chaos ..I checked out your stuff at deviant art and you are one gifted chick!! We even have the same gorram´ taste in comics .,,,how weird is that??)

STRONGHOLD

" See now that  we are behind Olympus, on the side that is facing away the moon we just left behind us, it won´t matter how fast the alliance cruiser is approaching. They won´t be able to detect our retreat. The planet is shielding us from their scanners."

Wash leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms behind his head. A satisfied grin spread across his face.

"All I need to know is where we´ll be going….."

"Oh …in the opposite direction I´d say!" Malcolm Reynolds answered. " As far away from this god forsaken rock as we can make it!"

He pursed his lips, looking over his pilot´s shoulder out into the black.

" Get enough distance between us and that cruiser before they find anything on us…….god knows what that ruddin´ Niska left behind."

Wash turned in his seat to look at Mal.

" You think he had files on us, our names ……Serenity?"

Mal shrugged, trying to ignore the cold feeling creeping up his back.

" You never know….man like that. Well organized as he was…….."

"They won't find anything worth using. She was on her way back from the bridge when she came across you and Niska."

Mal looked over his shoulder to find River standing in the door, not quite entering the bridge.

It didn´t take Mal long to understand who she was referring to.

" What´d she do on the bridge?"

River hesitated a moment, as though she was listening to music only she could hear.

" She destroyed the computer core …….there is nothing left, no data to salvage."

Mal nodded, his face solemn and thoughtful.

"Shiny ……..the two of you seem to have worked things out just fine it seems to me."

The small, slender girl looked straight into his eyes. They both knew there was a but coming.

 Haunting eyes …Jayne had called them. Mal could see where the mercenary who had never been a prone to fancy talk such as that would have gotten the image. River was not beautiful in a normal way. She didn´t have Inara´s breathtaking kind of beauty, or Kaylee´s wholesomeness that made her so very pretty in a heart wrenching, close to innocent kind of way. She didn´t have Zoë's striking physique either, but there was something to her …apart from being downright scary sometimes. River Tam had her own kind of beauty….in a delicate way without really seeming weak. And those eyes …..dark and full of knowledge that betrayed her tender age. They could very well haunt a man's dreams he supposed.

" That was some impressing display of …..cunning….. back there. From where I am standing I´d say I sure am glad that you got that thing under control. Thought she might tear him apart with bare hands……."

River brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. It didn´t take much to read between the lines of what the captain was saying…..the question he didn´t like to ask: Would she have done it if they´d just stood by?

River gave him a sad smile, returning his look with honesty. She had come to trust that other entity dwelling in the sometimes not so dark recesses of her mind. The thought of it didn´t scare her anymore……her mind, her rules.

" You didn´t really think that I was exaggerating when I told you that she had no conscience, no scruples or restraints, did you?"

Malcolm Reynolds stared at her for a moment.

" Oh …..I think you´re wrong there River." He told her with a wry smile.

" After all ……she´s got you."

I heard there was a secret chord

That David played and it pleased the lord

But you don't really care for music, 

Do you?

" You look  so glum……!"

River´s voice was barely above a whisper, but the silence in the small cabin carried her words far. They echoed off the metal walls as she climbed down the last steps off the ladder leading down from the hatch. She had abandoned the leather trousers Jayne realized as he looked at her. The girl was back in a dress, the purple one that left her smooth, white arms bare. Her hair was still damp, not really wet, but not entirely dry either. He could smell the lavender soap she always used. The expression on her pretty face was attentive, a little anxious even as she leaned against the ladder looking at him. Her bare arms and feet, the dress….it all made her seem younger, more dainty and frail …….it reminded him of how vulnerable she had been at times ….when she had been crazy. He still didn´t like to admit it ….not even to himself sometimes……but the thought that she was after all still a girl made his chest tight.

"C´mere…" Jayne rasped. He swallowed twice when he realized how raw his voice sounded, how much she affected him.

River arched an eyebrow. She moved over to where he was sitting on the bed, until she stood between his legs, looking down on him. In fact he was almost on eye- level with her when he was sitting…….almost but not quite.

"Gorrammit girl……" he ground out, looking up at River´s face.

"Next time you pull one of those ruddin´ stunts again ……..lemme´ know so I can be there!"

"You were there."

Jayne scowled at her serious tone, shaking his head.

"You ruddin´well know what I mean!"

"It wasn´t me. It was…..her."

"Well then tell her that I don´t much fancy the idea of her getting you shot in the back!" Jayne cut in angrily.  River returned his piercing stare for a moment.

" You both got that?" Jayne asked her harshly, hands on his knees. River nodded slowly, reaching out one hand to rake it through his short hair. He could be as loud and angry and intimidating as he wanted. She knew he was right. Had he not been there ……things could have turned sour. He knew it too and it worried him. It didn´t worry her as much, but she couldn´t tell him that now. In fact the thought that the other thing was not infallible was almost a comfort. What was even more comforting was the fact that he had indeed been there. He had been there.

" Got it."

Jayne´s breath came out in a sharp hiss; he lowered his head, shaking it again.

" Look at the two of us , sparrow ……..what a pair we make……." He chuckled.

It goes like this; the fourth, the fifth

The minor fall and the major lift,

The baffled king composing hallelujah

River´s other hand touched his cheek, moving over the slight stubble.  She couldn´t help but smile. He was right ……they were the last two people on Serenity that anyone would have ever seen together; the most unlikely combination……and yet……

Gingerly River put her hands around his face, just as he had done so many times before and made him look at her again. It was a bond that even she couldn´t explain and she didn´t need to. This was someone who had seen the best and worst of her and even though there had been many times when he had not been comfortable with all the implications their relationship had wrought, when he had been out of his depth when it came to emotional displays and facing his feelings …… when it mattered he hadn´t flinched from it. He had accepted her with all the complicated baggage this entailed, just as she had accepted him.

No more pushing uphill………………..

Your faith was strong

But you needed proof

You saw her bathing on the roof

Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you

" What a pair we make ….." she repeated softly, kissing him while lowering herself until she straddled his lap. She could feel his arms come around her, pulling her closer to him, strong hands kneading the tense muscles of her back in circular motions. River closed her eyes for a beat, revelling in the heat of his body, in the strength of those hands that slowly travelled down her spine until they came to rest on her thighs. Then she leaned back very slowly, looking at him.

" I told you, remember?" she whispered quietly, her hands trailing down from his face, over his  broad shoulders.

 "That night in cargo bay…….I told you that we´d find each other Jayne Cobb. And once we found each other, no power in the ´verse will be able to keep us apart."

"Always keep your word, don´t ya´ River Tam?"

She gave him a small smile, bringing her face next to his to whisper in his ear.

"And still you always hold yourself in check. I know who you are and it doesn´t scare me ….it never has. Take me to bed……Jayne. And don´t always hold back on account of me…… because you think you might hurt me." Her voice was a husky whisper; her lips close enough to his ear so that they grazed his skin as she spoke. She could feel his hands, fingers digging into her thighs almost hard enough to leave a bruise as they pulled her up against him.

" I promise I won´t break."

River closed her eyes again as his low chuckle rumbled through his chest, mere seconds before their lips met in a searing kiss that stole her breath………………. and every coherent thought she might have had went right with it.

And she tied you too her kitchen chair

She broke your throne and she cut your hair

And from your lips she drew the hallelujah

 "You came for me."

Mal looked up from the mug of coffee he still cradled in his lap, despite of the fact that the beverage had turned cold a long while ago. He had held onto it, sitting at the head of the long table in the kitchen area, as though the damn thing was some king of anchor while he pondered his situation. Most of the others had already gone to bed….or had at least retired to their bunks, save Wash who was flying them to safety …….at least so he hoped.

He hadn´t counted on her showing up …….indeed he had counted on her resting.

Still …there she was, standing at the other end of the table, looking clean and refreshed, bright as morning. Mal found himself marvelling once more at the fact that the bruising left Inara´s wondrous beauty unadorned.

" You came for me." She repeated softly, looking at him across the table.

"Couldn´t have him sellin´ you off to some alliance big shoot who took a fancy to you while back, now could I? No need to thank me for that, would have done the same thing for any of my crew! We don´t leave nobody behind."

Inara nodded sadly, her eyes wandering to his bandaged shoulder and the arm he would be wearing in a sling for at least a couple of weeks. He got hurt in the process of saving her……and still it didn´t really change a thing. They were still where everything had begun…..treading water.

Mal frowned. He knew what he was doing, the non committal answer had come to him like a reflex. They should be beyond this point now ……it was all right there and anybody could see through this petty game. They were both so caught up in trying not to loose face, trying to find out where to go from here without having to drop their defences. She had done so in the past, showing her vulnerability and he had been unable to ………….

They were both afraid. He knew it, so did she. And yet Inara seemed to be more capable of coming to terms with it. Mal couldn´t …..and he knew why. If you got too emotionally involved in something, people got hurt…..people died. People he was responsible for…..

The war had taught him that; a lesson he had learned the hard way.

Baby,  I´ve been here before 

I´ve seen this room

I walked this floor

I used to live alone before I knew you

Malcom Reynolds had believed in something once. He had believed and he had fought for it. He had given this cause he had and it hadn´t been enough. They had lost. He had lost …everything. There had been a time after the battle of Serenity that Mal had thought he lost more than the war………..he had lost a part of himself. The loss had been more than he could bear. It had left him hollow, barely more than the disillusioned husk of the man he had been. It still hurt him to think of it ……he still had nightmares sometimes. He never wanted to feel this way again. It was cliché, but he was aware that he had built a wall around himfel that some things could penetrate …………some things he just couldn´t afford to get to him. Now Mal didn't like to let his guard down. It had gotten him in trouble more times than he cared to remember……….with other people. Women he hadn´t even felt anything comparable to the feelings Inara elicited from him.

" We cannot keep doing this, Mal. I am tired of this dance…we cannot keep doing this! I cannot do this anymore. It will have to stop!" Inara finally said quietly.

Mal put the cup down on the table, getting up from his chair.

" Why did you come after Niska, Mal? Why did you come for me apart from ……the things you´ve said?"

Mal didn´t answer, just looking at her. Inara shook her head.

" You are a man of too many secrets, Malcolm Reynolds!"

" Oh now, I´ve always found you to be sort of a mystery yourself."

Inara pressed her lips together, unsure what to answer. She knew what he meant of course…..the man she was running from now. I all this time she had never mentioned an obsessed alliance related paramour who was willing to do pretty much anything to have her for himself. It was a piece of information that had almost led to their undoing. She closed her eyes for a moment.

" You don´t have to stay….."

" I didn´t have to come after you either now, did I ?" 

And I´ve seen your flag on the marble arch

And love is not a victory march

It´s a cold and it´s a  broken hallelujah

For a moment they both just looked at each other with his words hanging in the heavy silence between them. Mal´s expression still guarded and unreadable. Inara swallowed hard, trying to keep her sadness and fear at bay. Could this truly be it? She felt her eyelids flutter in an attempt not to cry over everything that had happened. All the tears she had not allowed herself to cry…..over everything; his insults, his reserve towards her at times, her own incapability to get over this man, but also over her relief of knowing he would came for her, her fear for all their safety ………..seeing him getting shot. All those tears made her chest tight and her throat raw with the effort of keeping them at bay. And now …with him knowing why she had fled the core, house Madrassa…………

" Everything is spoiled……….." she whispered.

" Your face……" Mal finally said, his voice sounding pressed because he could not make it sound neutral, no matter how hard he tried. " ………..who did that?" Inara took a deep breath, hugging herself around the waist.

" One of Niska´s man. I never heard his name. You don´t need to bother with that …….he´s probably dead, right?" she answered with a shrug.

" Jayne probably took care of that ….." he raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms in front of his chest. " You know ….just occurred to me what a wicked, crazy ´verse we live in……seeing as lately I seem to be all kinds of glad about things that Jayne Cobb does!"

" Mal ….." Inara said softly, determined to not let him steer the conversation onto safer ground again. They needed to talk about the gigantic pink elephant in the room that was growing more gargantuan every passing minute. The though of leaving things unsaid again made her almost physically sick.

" Have you ever…….every considered that it could all be more bearable if we were together?

There was a time when you let me know,

what´s really going on below.

But now you never show that to me ,

Do you?

Mal could feel his hands clenching to fists and uncrossed his arms slowly. There it was …..no use in denying it. He would not run from it.

He looked into her eyes the longest time, searching for the words he knew he would not be able to say.

" What ´d you think I came after Niska for?" This time his voice was raw with emotion, very low but still controlled.

" I am weary of games, Mal."

" Seems to me this is a game neither of us can win."

" Love is like that ………"  There……… she had said it. Inara was glad and yet she wished she could take it back. It was plain to see that they had both been burned, burned bad …..

Mal stared at her, his face betraying nothing …..as though he hadn´t heard her words.

Inara pushed one of the chairs aside, moving over to where he was still standing very slowly in her graceful, fluent motions. She stopped a few steps shy of him, looking up into his face.

But remember when I moved in you

And the holy dove was moving too

And every breath we drew was hallelujah

" If you could do anything you wanted tonight, what would you do?"

Suddenly his mouth was on hers; firm, warm lips moving over hers, kissing her hard and searching, almost furious. Inara felt a suppressed groan escaping her throat. They had waited too long for this …..all the pent up emotion barely contained. She could feel his good arm around her waist, crushing her to him, locking her body to hers with painful intensity. Inara threw her arms around his neck, feeling her body relenting, melting into his touch. One of her hands went up into his hair, moving along his cheek as they broke apart, 

breathing heavily.

Mal swallowed hard, staring down into her upturned face and the thought crossed his mind that he could have hurt her due to the bruising on her face. He could see her eyes staring back at him and he could read the need …..she needed more from him than this. More than he could give her right now anyway. They both knew that for this thing to work, she would have to give up being a companion. He wouldn´t have things any other way. But for her to do that ….she would need to be sure………..of him. She would need a guarantee …….a guarantee that Mal knew he could not give her. He wasn´t even sure if he could give it to himself.

" Inara …..I cannot court a woman like you on lies. I cannot change the way I am."

" I just need you to say it once, Mal. Just this once……."

" This is all I got right now!"

Inara swallowed as he stepped back from her, shaking her head.

" Life does not give out certainties, Mal. We both know that!"

He took two steps backwards, moving his hand over his face. He could still feel the softness of her skin, her intoxicating scent surrounding him, her lips yielding under his…….and yet he couldn´t………

" This is all I got right now." He repeated seriously.

Inara sighed, nodding her head sadly.

Maybe there´s a god above

And all ever learned from love

Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you

And it´s not a cry that you hear at might

It´s not somebody who has seen the light

It´s a cold and it´s a broken hallelujah

" We both know it´s not enough. It never is that simple…………..and I´ll be needing more from you, just as you´ll need more from me." She stepped forward to slide the back of her hand over his cheek." Until then ….." she said, returning his sober look before she turned to leave. She turned to face him again before she disappeared into the darkness of the corridor, giving him a cheerless smile.

" You are a good man, Malcolm Reynolds. I wish you could see that. You may not know it about yourself right now. You may have forgotten, or you may not remember it. But I do…..I know."