Tori: *looks away* 9____9
Ke: *looks away * `(' - ')'
Trowa: *looks confused* ///_O
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Exactly how are we supposed to earn heaven?" Heero asked, jogging a bit to catch up with Duet and God, who were walking a few feet in front of the boys.
"So I had the Family over dinner one night, you see, and all of a sudden Louie makes some crack about me being the Godfather, so I-"
"GOD!" Heero yelled, cutting the Almighty Ruler of All off. The two turned around slowly, looking equally pissed.
"…the hell, Heero…" Duet groaned, shaking her head and covering her face.
"What?" God frowned and crossed his arms.
"I just wanted to know what we have to do to 'earn' Heaven?" he huffed, looking for all the world like a five-year-old who wasn't getting his way in a candy store.
"You! Get out of my paradise! You just forfeited it!" the Italian-looking man roared and pulled out a shiny new Colt. Heero meep-ed and ducked behind Duo, who just seemed confused.
Duet snatched the gun away from God and chucked it over her shoulder. "None of that, now, sir… You're setting a bad example for your son…"
A teenage Jesus chose that moment to saunter up to the group. "What up, G?" he asked God and draped one arm over his shoulders and the other around Duet's. "Can I take the Nimbus out for a spin?" Sighing, God fished around in his pocket of his black suit pants and tossed his son a set of keys.
"Thanks, old man!" Christ smirked and sauntered right back the way he came.
"Crazy kid… Probably showing off to those Greek goddesses again… Well, let's cut to the chase." With a snap of his fingers, a wardrobe appeared in front of the group.
"Um, why were we walking all that way if you could have just made it appear out of thin air like that?" Quatre asked, eyeing the closet.
"Oh, no reason."
The five boys facefaulted and Duet sweatdropped. "Really, you could stand to be a little more sensible, sir…"
God was, of course, too busy rummaging around in the closet to listen or care. "Ah-hah!" he declared and straightened, a pair of Dr. Scholl sandals in his hand. "These are the customary shoes you will wear, and (here he turned and grabbed something else out of the closet) these are your method of transportation!" God held a pair of feathery green wings from their elastic shoulder bands and smirked sinisterly.
"Oh, well why don't you just throw in a gold beard and we'll be all set!" Duo scoffed.
"I was only kidding…" God sighed and tossed the wings back into the closet.
A balding man in his late forties walked past, nodded to God, and led Duo away by the shoulder to speak with him. The braided boy returned a few moments later positively glowing. God and Duet smiled knowingly, but the four boys were just plain confused.
"DOUGLAS ADAMS JUST SIGNED MY ZZ9 PLURAL Z ALPHA MEMBERSHIP CARD!!! WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Duo jumped around waving it in everyone's face , and when he finally tired out, collapsed into a giggling heap on the fluffy, white ground. "Hehehe…"
God looked up from the former Deathscythe pilot and straight at, well, me. "You realize no one is going to understand your totally obscure Hitchhiker's Guide references."
I arched an eyebrow and frowned. "Just worry about the script please. I'll say the rosary or something later, okay…? I promise."
God rolled his eyes and turned back to scene before him.
Duet opened the wardrobe doors wider and with a sweep of her hand gestured for them to have at it. "A robe, (Trowa, it's one size fits all.) sandals, (Yes, Duo, they actually make sandals in 4 ½ children's… No need to make fun.) a cincture, (That's a fancy word for rope-belt, Heero.) wings, (No, Quatre, not the green ones.) and a halo, (Mine's in the shop being polished, thank you very much, Fei.)" When this terrible ordeal was over, the boys stood in a line in front of the now-closed wardrobe doors, looking completely innocent in their white gowns and whatnot. But something was missing.
"Where's the blonde one?" God asked, looking the boys over. Suddenly, a sound came from the closet behind them.
"Guys! Let me out! This isn't funny! This stupid joke is so old! Guys…!"
Naturally, there was a collective sweatdropping, and Quatre was released.
"Are you a little closet monster or something?"
Everyone sans Quatre broke into a fit of stifled laughter and the Arabian turned red in the face. Once they had calmed a bit, Duet decided it was as good a time as any to explain exactly what they were supposed to do.
"My fellow pilots, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is…"
~*~*~*~*~*~
Tori: Oh yeah, I forgot to put this in the first two so… I'm sorry if this offends anyone. I'm a Catholic Christian, too, so don't think I'm some angry cult person out to deface the religion.
Ke: And…?
Tori: WHAT!? I do think God's Italian! Why? I dunno… but the way he runs this world, (and I don't mean to imply he runs everyone's world) just strikes me as Italian.
Ke: *starts calculating how many people Tori probably just offended*
Tori: But, hey! That's just me! ^___^* Anyways, the Pope's in Rome!
Ke: *is slowly being covered in calculation papers*
Tori: And… sorry for portraying Jesus like that… Ryo was helping me catch up on my Austin Powers, so… Yeah. Spy Who Shagged Me.
Ke: *dies from asphyxiation under papers*
Tori: Ke…? Kegawa…? Hello?
…FROOT LOOPS!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!
Tori: Well, I know that offended someone.
Stanton: *falls over from weight of megasuperhugeexaggeratedsweatdrop*
