Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion: All characters and other related materials are the property of Gainax.

Memories of You

II

            The grave stone looked the same every time: Hollow and Meaningless. Shinji Ikari's mind began debating its reasons for returning to this place, and in the end, found no answer. [Sometimes its just best to let the past stay buried]. Not that she was buried here anyway.

            Gendo Ikari turned from the grave and began to walk back towards the helicopter that he had arrived in.

            "Going so soon?" Shinji said.

            "I have seen all that I need too. The rest of what I feel for Yui is in my heart."

            For some reason Gendo Ikari's bullshit had struck a chord with his son that day. Perhaps the reason was because, at this moment, Shinji Ikari felt as if he had nothing to lose, and, if he did (which he doubted), he did not care about it anymore.

            "Why did you take her from me? Why does not even a single picture of her remain?"

            "I"

            "Destroyed the pictures, yes I know," Shinji said, cutting off Gendo's words.

            "You don't understand, Shinji. You don't realize what losing someone that precious to you feels like."

            It was those words that had really gotten to him. The sheer audacity of this man to declare that he was the only man to have ever loved and lost infuriated him. He tried his best to contain it, to keep it all inside just like he always had.

            "Maybe. And maybe you don't realize what it feels like to never be given the chance to love."

            "I wouldn't recommend it. It will only bring you pain in the end."

            Sometimes it is the simplest, most obvious actions that we take that have the most profound effects on our lives. Sometimes we miss those actions, and sometimes we never know how important they really were. Shinji Ikari turned and swung his right fist into his fathers face. He watched as the man, once tall and proud, fell, crumbling down to the dirt, his glasses broken and his eye black. Shinji Ikari would later look at this day as a dramatic turning point in his life. With that single punch he had reduced the man that he hated and feared so much to no more than a fallen creature, with no one to love, and no love to pick him up again. This punch was also perhaps the same punch that drove the third child to a life of depression, monotony, and alcoholism, but sometimes one must cope with the lesser to two evils. At least now he was depressed for different reasons. The next day Gendo Ikari had announced his resignation from the commanding position of NERV, this was the same day upon which he later killed himself.

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            Shinji Ikari woke from his sleep. He surveyed his immediate surroundings and noted that it was 2:19 AM , and that it was still raining. It was warmer than normal. She was still there. Somewhere deep down the third child had hoped that perhaps when he woke he would find her huddled up against him, or that perhaps her hand would somehow become entwined in his own. It was a nice thought to be sure, but not one that he really expected to take place. [My god she is beautiful]. Something about her he just could never quite get over. He found her even more attractive wearing one of his shirts. He realized that she had left the top three buttons undone, and he resisted the urge to look down her shirt…for about two seconds. [damn it]. After staring for a few moments he scolded himself and rolled over to face the other direction. A feeling of guilt suddenly flooded him. Asuka had been right all of those years ago. [I am a pervert]. He sighed and tried to return himself to sleep, which was proving somewhat difficult, but he soon drifted off to his dreams once again.

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            He watched as she turned and began to walk towards the boarding terminal. There was no reason for her to stay here anymore; in fact he was amazed that she had stayed as long as she did. The angels were all dead, and there really was no point for her to stay in Japan, especially considering how much she hated her roommates. Though, this still left him struggling with the question: Why did she stay another two years? It didn't quite add up unless she was staying for something, perhaps, hoping for something to take place; hoping for some reason to stay. It was obvious to Shinji Ikari that none had presented themselves to her. That was why she was leaving wasn't it? The third child had never felt quite like this before. He felt a feeling of relief as she walked away, as if a tension that had been pulling at his insides for years was being lifted, but at the same time was experiencing an intense wave of sadness. [love] Was that what this was? If it was then love was perhaps the most awkward, horrible, unintelligible thing that he had ever felt. She turned to look back to him just before she boarded, and the movement and the glance seemed to enter the cliché of slow motion. [is she sad as well?] The image of Asuka Langley Soryu turning to look back at him would be a picture that would stay with the third child a very long time.

            "You know, you will probably never see her again," was what Misato had said to him all those years ago. He wasn't quite sure of what that meant, though he heard her words and understood their meaning. [why is this happening?] It was like some vital piece of the puzzle was missing, you could tell what the picture was, but you would never know what color the eyes were. So much pain. Gendo had been right, sadistic and selfish, but right nonetheless. Shinji had fought almost constantly with his red headed roommate since they had met. He was sure that she hated him, but then why was she looking at him this way? He felt stupid. The whole world was one big joke, he was the punch line, and no one was laughing "with him." [father]. It was his damn fault. [if he hadn't abandoned me maybe I would know what the hell to do]. Shinji Ikari was unsure of this thought. His father had been no better than he was; perhaps what had happened was for the best.

Asuka Langley Soryu slowly turned herself back towards the terminal and her image was lost to the third child. It was over, and he felt awful. He wanted to cry out, but couldn't. [why?] he didn't know. Not that it would have mattered. She hated him. Or did she? In truth all Shinji really knew was that he would "probably never see her again."

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            Asuka Langley Soryu heard a thunder clap off in the distance, and soon found herself awake. It was warm, and she felt secure. He was still there. It became apparent to her that her fingers had become intertwined with those of the third child, and she made no immediate action to change that. He had grown. He had taken the cold, hard, facial structure of his father. Even his eyes seemed, like his dad, to hold hidden depths of pain and malice, like he was constantly teetering on the edge of his own sanity, but something was keeping him from falling. She got the impression that both he, as well as she, did not know what this thing was. He was tall now, easily taller than her, and somewhat unshaven. He was still skinny though, and she doubted that would ever change. [hot]. Perhaps it was a little too warm. Asuka reached down and undid another button on the shirt Shinji and given her. She felt bad about showing up at his house, though, admittedly, she doubted that he minded much. She had hoped that there would be two beds, but she didn't want to be trouble. There was no point in giving him the wrong impression [am I lying to myself?] but that was just the way things had turned out. She was sleeping on hospitalities tab after all. It was nice though, she thought, to be beside someone she felt she knew.

The last few nights of her life had been some of the loneliest she could remember, though in actuality they were lonely for a different reason than she thought, or perhaps she just refused to admit to herself the real reason. Either way here she was. He hadn't tried anything either, even though Asuka hadn't really suspected that he would, even though he was obviously drunk (she could tell by his movements and his breath), and, being a 21 year old male, more than likely horny as hell. [Hell, maybe he just really respects me]. Asuka would have laughed at this thought if there would have been people around to hear her; people to justify the giggling that would have taken place. Somewhere within her girlish frame was a wish however, a slight want that burned, a piece of her that hoped, for reasons beyond her comprehension, that he would take her as she laid there upon his bed, warm, pure, and feeling a bit guilty for feeling such things for a man she had not spoken to since she had been a child.

A child. That was what she considered herself back then; back when she had been confused and irrational, crying out for help to a world filled with uncaring people. Perhaps he had cared, but she had pushed him away regardless. She had cried for him on some nights. She had broken her promise. It was a pledge that she found herself to be breaking more and more frequently. He had not understood her, and now, looking back she couldn't blame him. Boys rarely had the sensibilities to cope with the complications of feminine life, and even so not the kind of complexities evident in Asuka Langley Soryu. [that poor guy. I was probably his first kiss too… I was such a bitch]. She felt bad about the kiss. Somehow she had managed to kill two birds with one stone by both indulging in the forbidden, while at the same time reducing the boy to a mere object. It was odd how things from so long ago still managed to gnaw at you; it was odd how sorry in regards to how she had acted she really was.

His breathing was soft and rhythmic, a turn on for some reason. Asuka stood on her knees and looked down upon the sleeping frame of Shinji Ikari. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and for a moment the second child wondered if he was wearing any pants before she dashed the thought from her mind. She leaned down close to his chest, pausing and thinking about tempting fate. […] Asuka rested her head on Shinji's chest, listening to his heartbeat and feeling the rise and fall of the air leaving his lungs. [I shouldn't be doing this]. Another moment passed. [why cant I pull away?] Asuka reached her arms to where she had been laying previously and grabbed her pillow, hugging it close to her abdomen, as well as pulling the comforter from her side of the bed to cover her new position. With her task done, Asuka undid another button on her shirt, all the while thinking of excuses to explain the predicament in the morning.

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Shinji Ikari opened his eyes to the morning light, and, as expected had a pounding headache. But, he was feeling undoubtedly happy, though it took him several moments to recall why. [Asuka]. She was still there; in fact she was much closer than before. The second child was right beside him, her fingers wrapped in his. […]. Shinji didn't quite know what to think. It seemed as if so much had changed in one night, but at the same time he was wary. She had done this sort of thing to him before, luring him close only to push him away again. He almost felt angry with himself for thinking this way, likely because the charm of the alcohol had left him, but regardless he knew it to be true.

He tilted his head slightly to get a better look at the German girl. Her head was resting on his chest, her long red hair spread out along his upper body. [her shirt]. She had undone four buttons now, and her left breast lay exposed on his ribs. This wasn't like before though; he didn't feel guilty seeing this part of her now. It seemed…[natural], yes that was it. Perhaps it was some inherent instinct left within him from generations past; Adam and Eve living unabashedly and, in the beginning, purely. He wanted to touch her, to reach out to her and tell her things that he never told anyone before. But he did not. He still felt held back by some sort of invisible bonds, societal maybe, but it more likely had to do with his upbringing; the absence of loving arms and encouraging thoughts. He decided that it was best to just go back to sleep, worried about the consequences any action he might take could cause, and the pain she might bring him.

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Rei Ayanami pulled her key from the lock on her apartment door and quickly entered. She headed immediately for the kitchen, placing the bag of groceries she was carrying down on the counter. She still felt somewhat winded from her jog, though walking back from the store had cooled her off a bit. There wasn't much on the schedule for the first child on this day, only studying and thinking about her as yet undeclared major. That was how it always was. Rei didn't have many friends, except a cat which she had never named. College had been the first real thing she had done without being ordered to do so, her first real step toward life. It was unnecessary she knew, she was allotted all the money she would ever need by the government anyway, but it helped to pass the time.

It was at this moment that Rei Ayanami noticed a blinking red light on her answering machine.

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In truth, Kensuke Aida had not meant to leave a message. He had been drunk, very drunk, and his passions had simply got the better of him. He had found himself calling Rei's house, amusing himself by attempting to record a message, erasing it, and then trying again by use of his cell phone. He felt like an absolute idiot, and for the life of him could not recall what he had said.

Love itself is for many a largely unexplored and irrational region. It simply does not make sense, but that does not mean that it can be denied. Sometimes it is the stupid things we do that end up changing our lives forever. Kensuke Aida hoped that maybe, just maybe, all those crazy ideas about love were true.

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"Rei, this is Kensuke, Kensuke Aida. I'm not sure if you remember me or not, we went to high school together. Anyway, I just, well, I can't stop thinking about you. I guess what I am trying to say is that I would really, really, really, like to see you some time. Dinner maybe? Tomorrow? I don't know. I would really like it if you would give me a call. My number is 963-8057."

The message concluded with a click, a cats meow, and a rather surprised blue haired undergrad.

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When Shinji Ikari awoke for his final time that morning and found that she had left him. He glanced at his clock and saw that it was about 10:30, and decided he might as well get up. He stood from his bed and began to browse his closet, finding his traditional pants and shirt. He left his room and the sounds of his new roommate became audible. She was crying. Shinji walked down the hallway to the living room where he found her sitting on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest, and tears streaming across her pale cheeks.

"I thought you didn't cry," he said, and then felt bad immediately after saying it. [I'm sorry].

            Asuka sniffled, and then attempted to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"I guess I'm not as strong as you think," she said, a glint of her old malice flickering in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that," he said.

"Still like to apologize, huh?"

Shinji frowned. [I deserved that]. He wanted to stand up and leave her; leave her here with her problems. But he resisted the urge. He hated that part of himself, the part that wished to run away. He wanted companionship, but hated the idea of the pain he might suffer to attain it. [don't run away. You're done running. Talk to her].

"Asuka…are you alright?"

"I'll be fine," she said, closing the door on his attempt to reach out to her.

[fine] Shinji thought, [if that's how she wants to be than fine]. He could feel his temper rising.

"Asuka why are you here," he said, venom now evident in his tone.

The second child made a gasping noise, choking on her tears.

"Because I have no where else to go."

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I hope you guys enjoyed chapter two! As I'm sure is obvious at this point this is not a one shot, and I will try to keep chapters coming regularly (though I am still trying to finish up Renaissance and Revolution right now as well). PS: I am kind of a reviews addict, so I would really appreciate it if you could send me a review. Also thanks to ST Pika for pre-reading. Thank you to everybody for reading and I will see you next chapter!   -Deer Hunter