PA-chan: This was written in response to a review, but I was always
planning on explaining anways
Ken: Am I in this one?
PA-chan: Noo! I'm sorry. *comforts sobbing KenKen*
************************************************************************
Why Santa Claus Hurts God
Later Christmas evening, (or rather morning) when mostly everyone in the house was sleeping, Farfie, Nagi and Omi remained in the living room. The scene was rather eerie; the Christmas tree had never got quite back together, and Farfie had exchanged actual light for his ritualistic candles. The fireplace, of course, was extinguished, it wasn't like he was sadistic or anything. And besides, Santa Claus hurts God.
Nagi: Santa Claus hurts God? Why? Who is he anyways?
Farfie: I was getting to that. Ahem...
"In this very age," He begins, in a spooky voice, "there is a man, named Santa Claus. People have been looking for him, yes searching very hard... but his hideout is impossible to find. This elusive base is referred to as...The North Pole."
Omi: So? Why does that make him so bad?
Farfie: JUST LET ME FINISH!
"There, in that terrible freezing place, is where he has his workshop. In this workshop, he forces little people, almost children, to make 'toys.' These toys might make a child happy, for a while, but in the end, they just want more! They do nothing but play with them, they lose intelligence and ingenuity, they horde them selfishly. They spurn hard bought gifts from parents and grandparents, like clothes, or books, or educational things. It is these that he distributes to anyone he feels in need of corruption.
How, do you ask, does he do it? Well I'll tell you. Reindeer, poor things. An endangered species, I believe. On these he has performed numerous debilitating experiments, until he finally stumbled upon the solution, and designed the reindeer to fly. Not just any flight, of course. That would take to long. And a jet is not acceptable, gas prices are too high. So, these reindeer, through much abuse, are made to traverse the world in a single night.
He plays God! He swoops through the sky with his bag of toys, mentally separating the righteous from the evil. He can always see you, he knows all of what you are thinking. If you are bad, okay. A piece of coal to remind you of his existence, but for the most part, he leaves you alone. But if you're good..."
Nagi felt a shiver go down his spine.
"If you're good, he visits your house. It happens to little boys and girls all over the world. He lands on your roof, him in his blood red suit, with black boots, a huge stomach that shakes with malice when he laughs, and sparks in his eyes."
Nagi thought he heard something on the roof, the sound of heavy boots, and an evil chuckle.
"He comes, with his bag of toys, and forces himself down the chimney."
Omi saw soot fall into the fire place, and a grunting noise echoed in the silence.
"He sneaks into the house, to leave you one of his special toys, and eats all food in sight..."
A huge thump, and a figure fell out of the hearth, and stood up, dusting himself off.
Omi and Nagi stared. The figure looked at them, eyes reflecting oddly.
Nagi: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *runs into room screaming, locks door*
Omi: *scared out of his wits* I AM SO SORRY!!!! I'LL NEVER ASK FOR DARTS AGAIN!!!!! DON'T GIVE ME ANYTHING!!!! *runs into room as well *
Schu:*Standing shocked in Santa Suit* Gosh, and I thought they'd appreciate this....
Farf: SANTA! YOU'RE MY HERO! *hugs*
Schu: O_O
Ken: Am I in this one?
PA-chan: Noo! I'm sorry. *comforts sobbing KenKen*
************************************************************************
Why Santa Claus Hurts God
Later Christmas evening, (or rather morning) when mostly everyone in the house was sleeping, Farfie, Nagi and Omi remained in the living room. The scene was rather eerie; the Christmas tree had never got quite back together, and Farfie had exchanged actual light for his ritualistic candles. The fireplace, of course, was extinguished, it wasn't like he was sadistic or anything. And besides, Santa Claus hurts God.
Nagi: Santa Claus hurts God? Why? Who is he anyways?
Farfie: I was getting to that. Ahem...
"In this very age," He begins, in a spooky voice, "there is a man, named Santa Claus. People have been looking for him, yes searching very hard... but his hideout is impossible to find. This elusive base is referred to as...The North Pole."
Omi: So? Why does that make him so bad?
Farfie: JUST LET ME FINISH!
"There, in that terrible freezing place, is where he has his workshop. In this workshop, he forces little people, almost children, to make 'toys.' These toys might make a child happy, for a while, but in the end, they just want more! They do nothing but play with them, they lose intelligence and ingenuity, they horde them selfishly. They spurn hard bought gifts from parents and grandparents, like clothes, or books, or educational things. It is these that he distributes to anyone he feels in need of corruption.
How, do you ask, does he do it? Well I'll tell you. Reindeer, poor things. An endangered species, I believe. On these he has performed numerous debilitating experiments, until he finally stumbled upon the solution, and designed the reindeer to fly. Not just any flight, of course. That would take to long. And a jet is not acceptable, gas prices are too high. So, these reindeer, through much abuse, are made to traverse the world in a single night.
He plays God! He swoops through the sky with his bag of toys, mentally separating the righteous from the evil. He can always see you, he knows all of what you are thinking. If you are bad, okay. A piece of coal to remind you of his existence, but for the most part, he leaves you alone. But if you're good..."
Nagi felt a shiver go down his spine.
"If you're good, he visits your house. It happens to little boys and girls all over the world. He lands on your roof, him in his blood red suit, with black boots, a huge stomach that shakes with malice when he laughs, and sparks in his eyes."
Nagi thought he heard something on the roof, the sound of heavy boots, and an evil chuckle.
"He comes, with his bag of toys, and forces himself down the chimney."
Omi saw soot fall into the fire place, and a grunting noise echoed in the silence.
"He sneaks into the house, to leave you one of his special toys, and eats all food in sight..."
A huge thump, and a figure fell out of the hearth, and stood up, dusting himself off.
Omi and Nagi stared. The figure looked at them, eyes reflecting oddly.
Nagi: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *runs into room screaming, locks door*
Omi: *scared out of his wits* I AM SO SORRY!!!! I'LL NEVER ASK FOR DARTS AGAIN!!!!! DON'T GIVE ME ANYTHING!!!! *runs into room as well *
Schu:*Standing shocked in Santa Suit* Gosh, and I thought they'd appreciate this....
Farf: SANTA! YOU'RE MY HERO! *hugs*
Schu: O_O
