Part 4: Damage
Day 4: Sunday
Glancing around the busy surroundings of Norfolk, Misao sighed. Life's so complicated, she mused. Everyone around her seemed so preoccupied. She glanced at the tall man sitting next to her, waiting for their flight to Los Angeles to announce its boarding process. It was going to be a long day…They'd be back in Hawaii around noon…even though they would have spent close to eleven hours flying…not including the amount of time spent at the airport prior to the flight to Los Angeles and the time before their connecting flight to Honolulu.
"Are you still angry?" Misao asked quietly, peering at her guardian.
He shook his head.
"You look like hell. And you kept turning in your sleep," she chimed in.
"Trouble sleeping," Aoshi admitted in a faint voice.
"No kidding." Misao blew out a breath. "So what happened?"
Pause. "She chose to stay here. With him," he said simply. "So I left."
"Did she tell you that?"
Slowly, he turned to her, his blue-grey eyes narrowing. "I don't understand."
"Did she say 'I'm staying here because I want to be with Sanosuke'? Or did she say, 'I'm staying here for Sanosuke'? They're two different things."
"As far as I'm concerned, they're the same."
Misao shook her head. "Aoshi…do you really think Megs isn't over him? They're so ancient history…"
"Not anymore."
"Megs is in love with you. A person would have to be blind, deaf, dumb…and dead to not know that." Misao crossed her arms. "When was the last time you told her that you loved her?"
Aoshi rolled his eyes. "Misao…one day…when you're older…you will learn to never use those words lightly."
"When was the last time?" At his silence, she continued, "I don't think Megs is the type who wants to hear that all the time…but she does need to see and hear it once in a while."
"So do I," he countered.
Misao pursed her lips.
"I didn't expect to fall in love with her," Aoshi said quietly after a long time. "Even when we first started dating…I was fond of her…I cared about her…but…"
Her eyes softened. "Did you tell her that?"
Silence.
Misao sighed. "If you love her, then call her. Tell her that you'll wait for her back in Hawaii. Tell her what you just told me. Tell her anything…just let her know that you're not walking out on her."
His lips pressed together in a grim line. "Misao, I don't think-"
She immediately snatched Aoshi's phone from his backpack, pressed the number two to speed-dial Megumi's cellular phone, thrusting the device into his hand.
Aoshi stared at it blankly for several moments before holding it to his ear.
"Now announcing flight fifteen-seventy-six, with non-stop service to Los Angeles," the airport gate agent announced.
Misao's ocean-blue eyes widened as Aoshi slowly lowered the phone from his ear and pressed a button to turn off his phone.
"Our flight's boarding now," he announced. Any hint of emotion he had earlier was replaced by firm resolve.
Defeated, Misao followed him to the jetway.
Sanosuke blinked, staring at the cell phone in his hand. Hey…this isn't mine…He must have answered it while half-asleep. Sano looked around, seeing the television blaring the morning news. Megumi must have left her cell phone in the living room.
He remembered Megumi asking him to stay the night. Whether she was aware of what she said, he wasn't sure, she was in a deep sleep after that. She had probably been dreaming. Afterwards, he had gone to the living room, falling asleep with the TV on. He rose to his feet, slowly opened Megumi's bedroom door, seeing Megumi curled up beneath the covers on the bed. He gingerly set Megumi's cell phone on the nightstand. Sanosuke turned to exit, seeing Kaoru in the open doorway.
"Jo-chan…"
Kaoru bit her lip, her eyes swimming with questions.
Sanosuke ran a hand through his hair before quietly exiting the room, closing the door behind him. After splashing his face with water, he went into the kitchen to make breakfast…and found Kaoru there.
"Kenshin still asleep?" he asked lightly, filling the kettle with water..
"Yes." Kaoru took a deep breath. "Sanosuke…I know it's not my business…but…what…were you doing in Megumi's room?"
"I didn't sleep with her," Sanosuke retorted.
Immediately, Kaoru's face went beet red.
"Dammit, what kind of person do you think I am?" Sano shook his head, setting the kettle on the stove.
Kaoru's eyes went wide. "Sanosuke…you know that most men wouldn't be in the same room with their sleeping ex-girlfriend the day they were supposed to get married."
Kaoru watched as he retrieved several items from the fridge, bringing them to his workspace by the stove. "Sanosuke…what's going on between you and Megumi?"
"I don't know," Sanosuke shot back. Last night…being around her…he had forgotten what it was like being in her company. She was so easygoing. One of the things he had liked about her as a person was that in spite of her educational background, she never held herself higher than anyone else. And he hadn't been able to prevent memories of their relationship together from visiting him while he slept. Mixed in with his memories with Kat…Sano hadn't been able to fall into a deep sleep until dawn. "I don't even know what's going on between me and Kat…One at a time, please."
Kaoru studied him carefully.
He turned to prepare breakfast, nearly jamming his finger against the bowl to crack an egg. "What?"
"You said, 'I don't know'," Kaoru said quietly. "Most people would say 'There's nothing going on'. But you said 'I don't know'…which means that something possibly is going on."
"Come on, give me a break," Sano shook his head. "You know what I meant."
"What are you going to do?"
"When I'm done here…I'm going to call Kat and straighten this whole thing out," Sano vowed.
"What about Megumi?"
Sano sighed. "Kaoru, if you've got something to say, say it."
Kaoru took a deep breath. "Kat cancelled because of your connection to Megumi. And Aoshi left because Megumi chose to stay here. That's a pretty big statement, don't you think?"
"Why don't you tell me what they're trying to say," he suggested, exasperation in his voice.
"They're seeing something that obviously you and Megumi don't," Kaoru tapped her chin thoughtfully. "You and Megumi owe it to yourselves to find out what that is."
"Am I hearing you right?" Sano stared at her in disbelief.
"How else can you be successful in a relationship if that thing keeps getting in the way?"
"Whoa…wait…you think Megumi and I still-"
"Yes," Kaoru said firmly.
"Are you nuts?" Sanosuke couldn't even think straight. He and Megumi? Didn't he just say twenty-four hours ago that they had been over??
"It's a valid argument, Sanosuke."
"If I was still in love with Megumi, which I'm not," he added, "I wouldn't have asked Kat to marry me. And you should know better than me that Fox-lady is crazy about Iceman."
"I won't deny that Megumi loves Aoshi. But that doesn't mean she's stopped caring for you."
"I can't believe I'm hearing this," Sanosuke groaned.
"It's something to think about," Kaoru replied. Sympathizing with her eyes, she leaned forward. "Look…I consider both you and Aoshi my friends…before Megumi and Aoshi started dating even I wondered why they hadn't gone out together. I've seen Aoshi and Megumi together. And I've seen you and Megumi together. I'm not saying one is better than the other. But before either of you moves on, you've gotta find out what's going on between you two. You owe it not only to Kat and Aoshi, but to yourselves as well."
"Do you even realize what you're saying?" Sano asked incredulously. "Even if there was something going on…I live across the country. There's no way this would work!"
"But-"
"Jo-chan," Sano cut in. "I know you're worried about all of us…and thank you…but I've already got enough to deal with."
"Sanosuke-"
"And I'm not going to forget what you said," he added reassuringly. "But before Megumi and I try to figure out what's going on…I need to find out exactly why Kat cancelled on me. There's more to it than Megumi."
Kaoru nodded. "Fair enough."
Riiing. Riing.
"Hello?"
Sanosuke sat up straight. "Kat, it's me." Then he added, "Don't hang up. I wanted to talk."
Pause. "About what?"
"Us."
Pause again. "What about us?"
Sanosuke took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about what I said. I was being a prick."
Kat exhaled softly. "That's okay…I…said some bad things to you too. Not just last night…but throughout the whole wedding process…"
Silence.
"What happened to us, Kat?" he asked gruffly. "Two years…and this is where we end up?"
"I…I don't know…" Kat began to cry on the phone.
It tore him up inside. He hated seeing her in so much pain. He swallowed fiercely. "It's my fault, isn't it? I'm shitty with relationships…you were my second girlfriend…and I sure as hell didn't learn from the first one…I thought for sure I'd be better with you…"
"Sano…" Kat sniffed. "Maybe…Maybe we're both to blame. I shouldn't have told my family first…I've always put my family before you…you're right…my cousin…and I…we talked last night…she yelled at me for having you be the last one to know…"
They sat quietly for several moments. Until…
"I haven't been really good to you…" Kat said softly. "I've given you so much drama…I'm…I'm sorry…I never wanted you to feel like I was better than you or that you didn't matter to me…"
Sano closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, too."
Her throat cleared. "What happens now?"
"That depends, I guess."
It was a big decision, letting her handle this. They both made mistakes, they were both to blame. Every relationship had its ups and downs. He wasn't sure where things were going to go…
"Sano?"
"Yes?"
"Can I ask you something?" she asked hesitantly.
"Sure." What could she want to know that she didn't already? He was the one who was confused.
"And you'll think about it before answering? Really think about it? And look at yourself honestly before answering?"
"Sure, yeah," he responded.
"Does a part of you…even just a little bit…still love Megumi?"
Sano's heart dropped to his stomach. Even his ex-fiancee was thinking like Kaoru?? What the hell??
She coughed. "I…guess that's answer enough…"
He blinked. "Wait…that…"
"Sano…you have two weeks of vacation starting tomorrow," Kat murmured, her voice wavering. "Why don't you spend it in Hawaii?"
"What?!" he shot to his feet. "I can't do that!! Even if it's over between Megumi and Aoshi-"
"What?" Kat interrupted.
"Aoshi left last night…he was on an early flight this morning to Hawaii. Kenshin, Jo-chan, and Megumi are staying until Monday."
"Why did Aoshi leave?"
Looking back, he realized how much it cost him to leave. "Because Megumi wanted to stay here."
"Doesn't that say something?" Kat debated, her throat clogged with emotion. "Obviously he doesn't think he and Megumi can last…"
"I don't believe this…"
Kat cleared her throat. "If…If you go to Hawaii…it…it'll give you a chance to see if what you shared with her is really gone."
"I can't believe I'm hearing this…" he growled. How could she say that to him? Of all the things in the world…
"Sano…" Kat cleared her throat again. "I-"
"I asked you to marry me," he spoke vehemently. "I love you, I still love you." How could he not? He had been drawn to her since they met. The attraction had been instant, and had grown ever since. He thought that they could build a life together…but…he had been unsure about a lot of things lately.
"But it's not good enough," Kat replied quickly. "Megumi knows you so well. And I can't marry someone who's close to someone else like that. I'm…I'm sorry."
Sano sank to the couch, hanging his head. He always knew that he and Megumi had a solid friendship…but looking back…he never realized how close they had gotten as friends. "So…that's it…there's no way we can ever…" he croaked.
"Unless you and Megumi grow apart, which I would never ask you to do…and even if you tried…you couldn't," Kat said wistfully. "Maybe there's something to all that talk about first love..."
"What-What's that?"
"It never really ends…" He could tell she had a teary smile by the sound of her voice. "Sano."
"Yeah?"
"Go to Hawaii." Her voice seemed calmer now.
"No," he replied, closing his eyes.
"Sano-"
"You're literally throwing me at another woman," his voice broke. "How can-?"
"What are you afraid of?"
"Kat…please don't do this," he begged.
"Sano, you need to do this…" Kat declared. "Yesterday…Megumi told me something that made me realize something. Deep down, there's a part of you that's unsatisfied with the way your life is. You need to find whatever that is that will make you happy. Whether it's her…or…something else…" She blew her nose.
"Kat…don't…"
"I'm out of the picture now. This is something you need to do for yourself," Kat reasoned.
"What…What if I find the answer?" Sano asked, his heart breaking. I'm losing her. It's really over.
"Then go with it," Kat whispered. "Goodbye, Sano."
Click.
He had never felt so lost in his entire life. It was…over? He and Kat's relationship…was…finished. He'd never hold her again…hear her laughter…
Sanosuke didn't know what to do…he felt as if a part of him had been ripped away. And he'd never…ever…feel whole again…
He buried his face in his hands as the ache in his heart threatened to overcome his entire body.
"I'm sorry," Megumi said quietly as Sanosuke quietly drove his truck to the store to return the tuxedos.
After a long moment, he glanced at her. "For what?"
"For ruining everything."
"We've been through this, Fox-lady," he responded. He flicked his wipers to push the snow off his windshield.
Megumi glanced his way again. Not too long ago at the house, she had found him talking to Kenshin, asking him to throw away any useless items related to the wedding. His eyes had been red, and his voice had been hoarse. He was still hurt from his breakup, it seemed.
"Didn't you say that a storm is coming?" Megumi asked softly, looking out the window.
Sano frowned. "Yeah. We'll have just enough time to deliver these and head back home."
No such luck. Snow was coming down hard once they left the mall. Sanosuke could hardly see the road, he had to pull over to the side of the road, cutting off the engine.
The Hawaiian weather had made her accustomed to warm weather. Anything below sixty seemed freezing. Megumi rubbed her gloved hands together. "Are we just going to wait here till the snow stops?"
"Nope. There's a motel about a block and a half away…" Sanosuke secured his gloves and earmuffs.
"How long do these storms last?" Megumi wrapped her muffler around her throat.
"Couple hours…a day…depends…"
"What about your car?"
"We'll leave it…"
Megumi could barely see with the snow falling violently around her. Sanosuke had put on a pair of visor glasses, but she wasn't sure if he could see more clearly. She shivered slightly, wondering how Sano could live in the cold weather, given his upbringing.
"Come on, Fox-lady," Sano grabbed her arm and pulled her along.
She clung to his forearm, trying not to stumble in the snow. They had reached a clearing that led to the motel Sano had discussed, if the blinking 'vacancy' was any indication. Step by step, little by little, the two made their way towards the structure.
Something caught her attention.
"Sano."
He kept moving.
"Sano," she called out over the wind. "I think something-aaaaahhh!"
The snow beneath them collapsed, plunging them into ice-cold water.
"Are those all the extra wedding stationary?" Kaoru asked.
Kenshin studied the piles of papers around him. "I think so."
Kaoru glanced out the window, her thin brows drawing together. "That snow is pretty bad. I hope Sanosuke and Megumi are okay."
"They should be."
Kaoru began to gather all the papers in a bag. "I talked to Sanosuke this morning…I think he still has feelings for her," she concluded.
Kenshin's violet eyes widened in surprise. "Kaoru…what did you say to him?"
His wife shrugged. "I told him that it seems as if everyone but he and Megumi think that something else is going on."
"Kaoru…" Kenshin began patiently. "If Megumi and Sanosuke-"
"When I asked him this morning what's going on with Megumi, he said 'I don't know'," Kaoru insisted. "Most people would say 'Nothing is going on'. He even said as soon as he settles things with Kat, then he'll figure out what's going on between he and Megumi. He still cares about her, Kenshin. And I think she feels the same."
Her husband sighed. "And Aoshi?"
"I'm not completely disregarding him. Megumi has strong feelings for him, too."
"Then why-?"
"Kenshin, you know that I was completely behind Megumi when Aoshi first made his feelings clear to her. She wasn't sure if she should get involved with him because she was so afraid. And they were happy together. Aoshi's not the type of person who makes a public display of his affections. But I can tell that he made Megumi happy by the way she acted. And…there was something about Aoshi…that…seemed…softer, somehow. So I know they were happy together. But Megumi and Sanosuke have a history together, and they're good friends." Kaoru bit her lip.
"I know you're concerned about our friends," Kenshin said gently. "But perhaps it's best that they sort this out on their own."
"But Kenshin-"
"I think we should let them settle this without our interference." Kenshin took her hand. "Promise me that you won't do anything further."
"Kenshin."
"Please."
She sighed. "All right…"
Sanosuke broke the surface of the water, looking around him.
"Megumi?"
Complete silence. Several chunks of ice floated on the top, but there was no sign of her. Megumi…
He pulled himself over the edge, looking around. The ice was slowly freezing over. Without thinking, Sano slid across the ice, pushing aside snow to look into the frozen case below. Megumi's still form floated below him, like an eerie apparition suspended in time.
"Megumi!!"
Shivering, Sano moved aside, trying to crack the ice with his fists. Pure adrenaline coursed through him, giving him strength to break the ice apart. He backed away slightly, and after seeing that he wouldn't fall through, he reached inside for her arm and promptly yanked her out of the water.
"Megumi, wake up," he shook her slightly.
Her eyes flitted open. "Sano…?" Her lashes drifted close.
He swallowed. "Come on, fox-lady, I need you awake." She fell unconscious, and his eyes moved away from her features, seeing the motel not too far away. After lifting Megumi onto his back, he slowly made his way to the motel.
The desk clerk immediately gave him a room, no questions asked. Once Sano got inside, he carefully balanced her in his arms while turning the heater on. Then Sanosuke propped her on the bed, holding her head up.
"Come on, fox-lady, wake up."
Nothing.
"Megumi?"
Nothing.
Sanosuke pulled back the sheets before going to the bathroom, retrieving two towels. He carefully removed her wet clothes, proceeding to rub her skin dry. He wrapped her in a sheet, and after spreading the top cover of the bed on the floor near the heating unit, gently set her down. Sano grabbed the other towel to dry her hair. The cold was slowly starting to seep into his bones. He lifted his shirt and sweatshirt over his back and head, setting them beside the unit to dry. He stepped out of his pants and boxers, placing those near his other clothes before wrapping a sheet around his waist. Megumi shivered slightly from her position on the floor. Sano frowned, grabbing two pillows, before joining her on the floor. He adjusted the pillow behind him, leaning against the wall, placing the other pillow in his lap. He pulled Megumi towards him, cradling her against him while his hands moved over her shoulders, arms, and back, trying to generate warmth.
He finally had a moment to collect himself. Sano took a deep breath. He'd been terrified after seeing her in the ice. His arms tightened around her, and he glanced down. Her creamy skin was pale due to the cold, the dark fringe of her lashes a contrast against her complexion. He'd never seen her look so helpless. But as she unconsciously leaned against him for support, she was even more beautiful than he remembered.
Where…did that thought come from?
He thought back on Kaoru's words. What if she's right? What if…it isn't over?
He swallowed. Today was supposed to have been his wedding day. And here he was, practically naked, holding another woman in his arms. Strangely enough, it didn't feel awkward. But then again, nothing with Megumi ever felt awkward.
Sanosuke blew out a breath, feeling more confused than ever.
Once back at the house on Oahu, Aoshi collapsed on his bed, Misao moved to her room to unpack.
Megumi.
He rolled over onto his stomach. Back in Norfolk, before he boarded the place, Misao had called her cell phone, handing the phone to him. It had taken all of his military discipline to not react when Sagara answered as if he just woken up. He wondered how he had managed to not crush his phone with his bare hands. He didn't want to think about Megumi and Sagara together.
Unconsciously, his eyes moved to his nightstand, where he kept a framed photograph of her by his bedside.
Deep down, he couldn't help but wonder if she was really finished living in the past. He had needed to see for himself if Sagara and Megumi were finally finished. He could easily see signs from the younger man that he still had feelings for her. And as for Megumi? Megumi had asked for understanding. She had asked Aoshi to trust her. Trust that her past wasn't clouding her judgment. Trust that she was staying as a friend…nothing more. Yet he questioned her motives, due to the history she shared with Sagara.
Couldn't he have just told her that he'd wait until she sorted everything out?
No.
He kept out of relationships for a long time because he was tired of the mind games women played. His former girlfriend had cheated on him…leaving him when she realized that he wasn't ready to get married. It had made him wary about women in general. Yet he had let his guard down around Megumi. He thought that she was different. After being unsure about relationships herself, she seemed the type who wouldn't be selfish or inconsiderate. He had been wrong about a lot of things. He'd been left standing alone before…what was to stop the next woman from doing the same? And the one after that?
He had told Misao that he never expected to fall in love with Megumi. As a couple, they were compatible – they had the same views professionally. And they enjoyed each other's company. Megumi was a beautiful, intelligent woman. But as he got to know her, he learned more about her…and she had placed herself in his thoughts…and eventually his heart. And all for what?
He looked up, setting the photograph in his nightstand drawer, just as Misao entered the room, phone in hand.
She held the cordless unit in the air like a trophy. "Jiya wants to talk to you."
Aoshi held out his hand for the phone. When it was in his hand, Misao promptly left.
"Okina."
"Aoshi!" the older man crowed. "I hope you and Misao are ready…I'll be arriving for the holidays in about one week."
"Okay."
"So pick me up at the airport. We'll have dinner together. You, me, and Misao. You can bring Megumi if she wants to go."
Aoshi flinched. When Okina came by for the Merrie Monarch festival several months ago, he had been pleased to see that Aoshi had finally stopped living like a workaholic and had finally gotten a life. To put it in Okina's terms.
Should he tell Okina what happened? Maybe it wasn't the right time…
"I'll pick you up," he assured.
"Good."
They talked for several more minutes, mostly how things have been since they last communicated. Aoshi deliberately left Megumi out of the conversation. Luckily, Okina didn't ask about her.
Megumi dimly felt a heat surround her. It was…comforting…familiar…like the ghost of a memory passing through the recesses of her mind. Slowly, she shifted, realizing that she was being held against a firm chest. One that exuded a good amount of body heat, keeping her warmer than…was that a heater buzzing several feet away from her?
Strong hands moved over her bare shoulders and down the slope of her back, causing her to sigh in contentment. Tilting her face up, she nuzzled against skin. And she offered little protest when firm lips lightly touched hers before she drifted off again.
A/N: And again, I leave you with a cliffie. Muhahahaha!
Next! Kenshin, Kaoru, and Megumi return to Hawaii…but before that…Sano and Megumi talk. What is he thinking? What is he doing? And what's her take on it? And is he actually going to follow Kat's suggestion and return to his old home…at least for a short while?
