This story is set three years after the Sailorstars take place. Forgive me ahead of time because I never actually saw the sailor stars episodes because the only place they have sailor moon where I'm at is on cartoon network and it's not even on there anymore. So, basically I'm not really following the show plotline or anything, and if something about it doesn't make sense, that's why. Sorry about that in advance.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor moon, yes, it is a sad day in paradise.

Chapter One: Surfacing doubts

"Usagi?"

The soft, questioning voice came from Rei, who was sitting to Usagi's left in their traditional booth in the arcade by the park. Usagi glanced into her melting indigo eyes, which were normally sneering at her but now held a touch of concern. Rei would be the first to critique Usagi aloud but she would also be one of the first to come to her defense. Usagi smiled, quickly wanting to dispel any concerns she had.

"I'm fine, Rei. Really. I'm just tired and stressed out." Seeing the worried look fade from Rei's soft eyes, she shook her head. "No worries, Rei. You'll get wrinkles if you keep that look on your face much longer."

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Usagi. You are so immature." Then she went back to talking to Minako about the cute boy that was working at the video store in the mall. Ami sat on the outside of the booth, reading a menacing-looking medical book which made Usagi grimace in disdain. Fortunately, she had no taste for reading gruesome books about dissecting people into little pieces just to figure out how things work.

Usagi's azure gaze drifted back out the arcade window, past the sidewalks crowded with people sweating in the mid-day sun, out to the park, where the lake shimmered and glinted invitingly.

The park.

Her heart ached with some unknown reason whenever she thought about the park, surfacing so many well-hidden doubts, and she tried to push them away when—more often than not—they were about the future. Nothing she did would be beneficial except to continue on as Sailor Moon and one day soon, marry Mamoru and be the ruler of Crystal Tokyo. It was the way things were destined to be…

But if that was really true, why did it all feel so wrong?

Things were tense and awkward with Mamoru lately. They didn't agree on anything and any slight differ in opinion normally left them both silent with anger. His eyes no longer lit up when Usagi walked into a room, gracing it with her bountiful smiles and comforting laughter and Usagi no longer felt the warmth she was once sure was love.

She sighed and stood up, slinging her floppy purse over her shoulder. The girls all glanced up at her, questions clearly written in their eyes and expressions but she knew she couldn't tell them about the uncertain storm that was raging inside the core of her heart. They wouldn't understand the feelings she was having, especially since she was never supposed to have them in the first place.

Usagi smiled at them and said in a somewhat convincing voice that she was going to the park and then going to head home to fix some dinner.

"But Usagi, it's only one o'clock." Minako pointed out, her straw colored hair falling over her bare shoulder.

Usagi shook my head, bemused. "You're right. I must not be completely here today. I'm just tired." She slipped out of the booth and walked to the door of the arcade. "I'll talk to you guys tomorrow."

They just watched in silence as she walked across the street to the park. Usagi knew that they could tell something was wrong but none of them could ever guess the riot of emotions that was tearing their dear friend and leader apart.

The sun beat down warm on the top of Usagi's head and bare shoulders and she briefly wished for hair was short like Ami's. Instead, she'd opted to keep it long, but retired the traditional odangos once she'd graduated from high school. The buns were too juvenile and no one took her seriously when she wore her hair like that. Instead, her hair was looped up in a silver barrette almost carelessly, while wayward tendrils sometimes escaped and fell to frame her heart shaped face charmingly.

People were walking through the park slowly, old people, young people, beautiful women, handsome men, plain people, and short people. Couples walked with their heads bent together, sharing intimate smiles and young kids with water guns dodged through the benches and cherry blossom trees shrieking when they felt a cold blast of water against their backs.

Near the lake, where the cherry blossom trees grew in orderly disarray, was a bench Usagi had once sat on three years ago with a young man who came from the stars. It was there that he had whispered words of kindness and caring and then kissed the palm of her hand tenderly before standing up to join his brothers who were waiting on the outskirts of the park for him to go with them to their next concert.

The thought of his soft lips brushing against the palm of her hand still caused her pulse to jump and a coil of tension to settle in her lower stomach. It caused her heart to ache with uncertainty then and it does now.

That bench was covered with fallen blossoms and leaves and Usagi swept them off carefully and sat down, staring blankly at the lake. The lake did not interest her and she lay down on her back, staring up at the endless expanse of bright sky, and looked for the stars somewhere in the clear blue. But the sun was shining in her eyes and she had to settle for remembering their brightness and the way they would flicker and wink as if they knew all the secrets of her heart.

So many things are falling apart. I no longer love Mamoru; I can't say that I'm sure I ever did truly love him. My friends all depend on me to create their futures and I have a not-yet existent little girl whom I already love. Usagi rubbed the heels of her hands over her eyes, confusion mounting within her. I don't know what to do any more... I can never marry Mamo---

She sat up as that knowledge hit home. She couldn't marry him! She had known for some time she couldn't but instead of admitting it, had kept on pushing all of those doubtful feelings away because she couldn't stand the thought of ruining everyone's future for her own selfish reasons.

It sunk in what she had to do before she could finally be free to follow her heart.

Standing up, Usagi walked resolutely to Mamoru's apartment, completely forgetting her floppy purse on the bench by the lake.

Did it make sense? I know it's not much right now but I do promise that I'm going to be getting there. Thanks for reading and supportive reviews are most welcome. ^_^,