A Hundred Years

Disclaimers: Don't own 'em, I'm just a spoony bard.

WARNING!!! This is a yaoi fic. That means boys loving boys in the physical way. Get over it or don't read it. Oh yeah, it also had some shitty language. Yeah, I know, fuck it.

Dedication.

This fic goes out o Kristina Elaine Sarow. Born May 1, 1985 Died September 29 2003. I love you Kristi.

ch10
85 (the long goodbye)

Seifer was dying and there was nothing I could do. When he's gone, only
Zell, Quistis and I will remain from our group. Irvine's cancer took him
11 years ago and Selphie followed soon after. The doctors said her
heart went out .
I sat by our bed where he lay, blankets nested around him the way he
likes. He's pale and thin. The doctors tell me there's nothing they can
do. His body is ready to quit, even if Seifer himself isn't.

His green eyes watched me as I watched him. I can feel the tears
brimming in my eyes. They've been there for days, since he collapsed.

"Don't cry Squall. I'll be waiting for you." He reached for my hand. "I
just wish-" he paused to cough. "Wish I had more time."

"Seifer, I don't want you to die. I'm not ready to be without you." The
tears were falling down my face now.

Seifer smiled softly at me. "I've lived a great life. With you. I'll
be waiting." He closed his eyes. His breathing got shallower. "So you
see, there's nothing to cry about." He smiled again.

"Seifer! Hyne! Please don't leave me." His breathing had stopped, the
grip on my hand loosened.

"Seifer! Please! Say something, anything." My lover was silent.
Seifer Almasy-Leonheart was dead. I have never felt so alone in my
entire life.

I spent the next few days numb. Zell helped with the funeral
arrangements. A private ceremony. He would be cremated so I could keep
his ashes with me until I go.

As we lifted Seifer's body tot he funeral pyre, the tears flowed freely
down my face. This is the last time I will look upon his face. Holding
the torch to set the pyre on fire, I trembled. What now that my angel
was gone?

Watching the pyre burn. Lillith put an arm around me. She was crying.

"Dad, I-" her voice cracked and she couldn't finish.

Seifer's ashes were placed in a black marble urn. Zell, Quistis and
Lillith helped me sort through his things. I couldn't bear to part with
some thing. Hyperion and his trenchcoat will be buried with us.

I don't feel like he's really gone. His presence haunts this place. His
pillows still carry his scent, his toothbrush still sits in our bathroom,
his diary is on his desk. He doesn't feel gone.

I spend my days now idly looking out the window, wishing Seifer were here
with me. I occasionally watch TV and I try to spend more time with
Lillith and the grandkids.

I still dream of you Angel. I still feel the weight of your body in our
bed at night. I can still feel your skin against my fingertips.

I remember our wedding day like it was yesterday. I stood in my dorm
with Zell, pacing nervously as I practiced my vows.

"Squall, Chill. It's going to be fine." He sighed.

"I know, I don't even know why I'm so fucking nervous." I took a deep
breath. "How do I look?" I turned so Zell could see.

"You look great. Now you have to go meet you husband." He grinned at
me.

I grinned and took another deep breath. I met Seifer at the aisle. He
looked gorgeous in his tux. I can't believe that in ten minutes this man
would be my husband.

We walked together down the aisle to the preacher. I zoned out
everything he said. The jade depths of Seifer's eyes captivated me much
more. We said 'I do' and kissed It was magic. I will spend the rest of
my life with this man.

But I didn't get to spend the rest of my life with that man. He's gone.
All I can do now is remember and dream.

You'll be waiting for me. I'm counting the ways to where you are.

A/N I almost cried while writing this so ou bastards who never eave me any reviews should appreciate it!! Okay, so your not really bastards. Or if you are, i don't care. What I do care about is feedback.