BL: okay, this shall be my first song fic, as well as my first actual yaoi fic! YAYNESS!
Bakura: who exactly are the pairings?
BL: You and Ryou!!
Bakura: Ra, why do you hate me?
Ryou: 0___o
BL: and so you all know, this is based off the song "The Reason" sung by Hoobastank. Regular Bakura is known as Ryou, and Yami Bakura is known as Bakura. It is all in Bakura's POV.
Bakura: and she owns nothing.
BL: right! Oh, and one more thing……I am going to be really mad if ANYONE flames me, just because it is yaoi. If I get one anti-yaoi flame, I swear I will cut you down and gut you like a fish!!! _
Ryou: ^_^'''''''
Bakura: -_-''''
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The Reason
Within the chambers of our mind, I stood in front of your soulroom door. I could hear your cries of despair through the thick wall that separated my soul from yours. I had hurt you, many times, and in more ways than one.
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I didn't want to hurt you; I never wanted to inflict pain upon your pure heart and soul. I continue telling myself that, but I keep hurting you, my hikari. I'm not perfect, like you were; like you are. However, that is what I sometimes wish I was, like you. But that could never happen; I could never dream of having your acceptance; your love. I hurt you too many times.
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I slowly opened the door silently. You didn't hear or see me, but I saw you, weeping in the corner, and your head to your knees. The room had nothing in it; it was just a dark room, very dark. The only light that was in it was emanating from your own soul. This was not like it was before I came into your perfect life. Before I came……your room was filled with happiness and pureness, but now, now it was empty, and dark. It was because of me; I filled your soul with emptiness and eternal sadness. How could I do something like this, especially to someone as pure and loving as you?
I've found a reason for me
To change you I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I walked towards you slowly, and as I moved closer and closer, I was able to see the crimson stains upon your snow-white hair and body. Freshly open cuts and wounds were upon you like flees to a dog. You were covered in them, and I cursed at myself again for being such a beast. But, now, I wanted all of that to change. I don't want to be that of whom I was, and I've found my reason to change.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something that I must live with everyday
Your screams and cries from when I spoiled you; from when I beat you; they echoed throughout my mind, and would not go away. But that was my punishment, for being such a bastard to you. It tore away at my very soul and being. Never before have I felt strongly about someone as I do you. I didn't want to hurt you anymore, no; I wanted something much different, something that you would never expect from me.
And all the pain I put you through
I wish I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I put you through so much suffering, but not anymore. The pain I made you feel, all I wanted was to take it away, and start all over again, from when you actually trusted and wished to befriend me. You probably wouldn't want that anymore though. I understand. Who would? Who would want to love someone such as myself? You've shed many tears, all from my doing. No more, now I didn't want to make your tears, I wanted to shed them for you; to feel that pain that you have felt all this time. Then, perhaps, I would understand, what I was putting you through. No, I could never know the pain that I have always inflicted upon you. I would never be able to understand, never be able to take it all away.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
You suddenly sensed my presence. Your head shot up, and I could see your eyes, those beautiful brown eyes that haunted me every time I looked into them. They pleaded with me, but I never stopped, never stopped hurting you. Now, they were frightened, frightened and scared, and begged me to leave, and not return. Still, I walked closer and closer to you. Streams of what seemed like crystal stroked your perfect face. I knelt down to face you, and you closed your eyes, waiting for the impact.
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I cupped your chin in my hand and turned your face towards me. You opened your eyes, and they were fearful. I looked back at you, and I could feel tears brimming my own eyes. How could I do this to you? You became confused when you saw my tears forming within my eyes, and I turned away in shame. You stared at me with consideration, worry ness for my well-being. Why had I never done that for you? Why had I never asked how you were, or what bothered you?
"Yami? What's wrong?" I could hear your beautiful voice as you spoke. I couldn't believe it. You stilled cared for me, even though I had done all of those terrible things to you. I got even angrier at myself, because you would still think about me after I had done so much to you.
"Ryou……."
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
You stared at me. I touched your face with my hand. So soft and warm, just like you were. You tensed up, waiting for me to inflict more pain upon you. Not anymore. I wanted to love you, and I wanted you to love me back. No more fear or pain; I was going to start over; I was going to change, only for you. No more despair. I leaned in, and gently pressed my lips upon yours. They were soft, and I could taste the tears from when you were shedding them before. I was finally able to kiss your tears, suffering, and all your other pain, I was finally able to kiss it all away. I could feel your tense features relax, and you embraced me, and responded to me.
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
I was going to be a totally different Yami to you now. I've found something that I would live and die for; something that I would never betray or hurt ever again. It had taken me many years, many hard times to find this, but I could now see it clearly. I broke away from you, and you looked up at me, and light entered the room, hitting your delicate face. I was finally able to repair my mistakes, my actions that I had done in the past. You now were allowing me to start over again, and to love you, and not hurt you.
"I've finally found a reason to change Ryou……finally found a reason for me to show a side that nobody knew……"
"…..and that reason is you, my hikari, my light, my soul."
