A/N:Now....its FINALLY time for me to fix that cliffy I left last chapter....I'd apologize for leaving it in the first place, but I'm not sorry so that would be lying and lying is wrong....hehe...R/R people!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Last View:
"Daine," Numair interrupted quickly, voice hushed and worried, "Are you trying to tell me you want this to be over?"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Numair ran a nervous hand through his mass of hair, succeeding only in messing it up. Daine watched his movements and listened intently to his words and knew that she'd best explain things to him in more detail. "You'd better have a seat," Daine said, reaching up a delicate hand to wipe away the tear that was forming in his eye. He looked slightly more assured. Her manner and attitude was grim, still making him wonder. "I'd best explain myself better."
"I must admit to some confusion," Numair's tone was hesitant, as if he were trying to stay calm in a tense setting. Daine knew this news would hit him every bit as hard as it had hit her. After all, he was her new fiancee!
Numair did as she had suggested, and made a move toward the couch. She followed suit, and took the place next to him. She pressed her body against his, and felt him tense up in response."What changed your mind?" Numair asked after a moment of this, not letting down his nerves in the slightest. He emitted a light, almost chilling chuckle, shaking his head as he did. It was not by any means a happy gesture, but a sad and possibly confused one. "Is it something I did?" His last comment was made with a shaky voice, one that was close to tears. She could see his eyes glimmering in the light, watering up. She knew that she herself was doing much the same.
Daine fought not to cry as she moved on to her explanation. She had to stay calm, stay strong. If not for herself, then for him she had to. He seemed scared enough without her own feelings bearing down upon him. He need not carry her burden as well as his own. "No," Daine said quietly, placing a hand lightly on his knee. He flinched at this, causing Daine to swallow hard. "No, that's not it at all. I haven't a choice."
"What are you talking about?" Numair said suddenly, eyes alert. He seemed beyond mere curiosity, by this point. His mind was demanding that he know what this was about. His naturally protective nature towards her began showing very clearly. Daine's heart twisted painfully at the mere idea of what she was about to say.
"Numair, when Jon called me to see him this morning-"Daine fought for the right words to come to her mind, but found this an impossible task to carry out. Everything was so confusing right now, nothing appeared to be right. It was hard to imagine how innocent and nieve she held felt just mere hours ago, when she had risen. She would give anything in the world just now, to go back to that time, to make all of this nightmare she was living suddenly fade from existence.
"What in the name of Mithros has Jon got to do with you leaving me?!" Numair burst out suddenly, letting his anger, confusion, and hurt come fuming out. He stood to his feet as he said this words, standing to pace. He couldn't bear to look down at her, for she was the cause of this immense pain he felt. He felt betrayal and heartbreak, never a comforting mixture. He wanted to cry out as if he had a thousand physical wounds covering his body. This pain was worse; it was indescribable.
Immediately after Numair's harsh reaction, Daine burst into tears, seeking comfort in the man she loved and finding none. In her fight for hope she threw her face into her hands, a sign of defeat. Tears leaked out of her eyes like a fast flowing river, making Numair feel a pang of guilt. Suddenly, he regretted his action knowing that he was very much still in love with her, even if she didn't return his affections. Gently, he reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder. He had expected her to shrug it off, but it was as if she wanted her whole body to melt into him just by that simple touch. "Numair, I'm so sorry!" She choked out in-between sobs, wanting desperately for him to forgive her.
"Sweet, no," his voice was tender and gentle, trying his best to rectify his previous actions. Numair moved closer to her and again took his seat beside her. In this time he did not break the contact of his hand on her shoulder, not wanting to disturb her further. All of these simple gestures were paining him beyond all comprehension, for he had the wrong idea of this whole business all together. His view of it was that she was trying to tell him it was over between them, that she no longer returned his affections. That was enough to tear his heart apart, piece by piece. "Its me who should be sorry. I shouldn't have acted so harshly. If you don't want this anymore, then I should just accept that."
"Numair, you don't understand," Daine said quietly, tears still pouring steadily down her face.
"Then explain it to me," Numair's eyes pleaded with her to make things clearer. She knew she owed this to him, she knew that he needed to understand, but it was something that at the moment felt like a thorn in her side. She was so scared, perhaps more so than she'd ever been in her life. She didn't want to talk about it, she wanted to forget it. "Haven't I at least got the right to know why the woman I love more than anything suddenly wants to end our relationship?" Tears were starting to form slightly in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Daine admitted, reaching out and once again placing a hand on his shoulder. It was amazing how just this simple hold on his arm could give her enough reassurance to tell him her news. "Gods, I love you so much!" She let out a light moan, one that twisted Numair's heart as the sound filled his ears. He couldn't understand what could have distressed her so, when, only little more than an hour ago she had been as cheerful as ever.
"Then tell me why you are so intent on leaving me!" Numair was becoming more frustrated once again, and his tone showed it. Daine shivered slightly, wishing this could all just be over.
"I'm not, can't you see that?!" Daine too had turned to a harsher tone, not knowing what else to do, and feeling slightly offended that Numair thought she wanted things to happen this way. "Its not as if I have any choice in the matter!"
"Why don't you?! You're a free human being who can go where you please!" Numair was getting angry again, though not necessarily at Daine. He didn't know who he was angry with, or why. He just felt it. It was like a horrible pulling at his heart. It tugged roughly at all his senses and created a knot in his throat.
"That's what I would have thought, but I guess I was fair wrong about that!" Daine was near to yelling at this point, angry with him for being so harsh towards her. Couldn't he see what turmoil her mind was in?
"What you're saying doesn't make a copper's worth of sense to me, Daine!" Numair's eyes were begin to leak, a single tear sliding down his face. His frustration had gotten to him, pushing him too far. Tenderly, Daine reached out a hand and wiped the tear away. She lightly ran her finger across his face, letting it slid under his chin. In this moment her eyes met his, a look of pure sadness written on each. They gazed into the other's eyes for some time, searching deep within to find the answers they so desperately sought.
As Numair looked deep into his lover's blue gray eyes, he wanted nothing more than to bring his lips gently over hers, kissing her. This was no time to do such a thing, and it chilled him to think that there might possibly not be another time. "Jon is sending me back to Galla!" Daine blurted out all at once, not knowing where the sudden burst of courage had come from. Numair's eyes grew wide for a moment, his lips parted open slightly. He swiftly brought one of his large hands up to gently massage his forehead. His eyes blazed thoughtfully, leaving Daine to wonder how he had taken it.
"What?" It was as if he needed to hear it once more, in order to fully believe it. His eyes looked hollow and worried. Daine leaned in closer to him, tucking her head safely under his chin and resting her head against his chest. He felt slightly tense at this, and she knew very well why. She'd put him through a lot this morning. First she'd unintentionally led him to think that she no longer wished to marry him after she'd only just accepted his proposal the night before. After that, she had had to tell him the real meaning behind it all, and reveal to him why she was so distressed. She had told him point blank that he was going to lose her, and soon.
"Jon called me to his study this morning, to tell me that I've got to be sent back to Galla," Daine repeated her statement, her voice holding slightly more of a sense of calmness than before. She shifted her position in his arms slightly so that she could see his face. It held a look of pure horror and disbelief.
Numair shook his head and blinked furiously, trying to let the news sink in. It burned his insides, twisting his heart painfully. If anything, the knot in his throat only grew bigger, uncomfortably. "That can't be true! He can't do that!" Numair voiced, suddenly enraged. If he had been angry before, it had been different. Even when he was angry with Daine, he somehow always managed to keep a firm hold on his temper. When it dealt more with another of his friends, he would become livid with anger. Being that he was the most powerful mage in the realm, he wasn't one to cross.
Daine burst into tears once again, clinging tightly to him. She gripped his shirt protectively between her fingers, soaking it with her tears. She felt his arms swing around her shoulders, pulling her all the more close. He held her tightly against her chest, afraid to let her go. She could feel his face resting in her mass of hair as tears leaked from his eyes, making her hair damp. Daine could only remember feeling so distressed at one, possibly two other times in her life. One of those times was when she had been only twelve years old and she had been forced to pull the clumps of arrows out of her own mother's corpse. The second time had been when she'd stood in the secret passage under the palace in Carthak and Kaddar had told her that Numair had been executed. Daine felt that same pain now, but in a different way. It seemed almost as if she herself had been given the death sentence. She couldn't even begin to imagine being ripped away from the home she knew so well and loved just as much. Her friends, she couldn't leave them! They were a part of her, like a family. Numair especially was one she couldn't bear to leave behind. He was the love of her life, something she'd never dreamed she'd find. He'd given her so much, sacrificed so much just for her. She knew that he returned her affections in full, if not more so. He was her fiancee, and she couldn't leave him.
Daine wearily lifted her head from the nape of her lover's neck, eyes tear stained. Numair, upon feeling her move to sit up, made no move to do so himself. Feeling as if he'd been run over by a thousand wagons towed by only the largest of horses, he let his head hang in despair. Daine gazed at his form, longing to lift up his chin, so that she could see his wondrous dark eyes. It was as if he had heard her unspoken wish and granted it, for at that exact moment, he lifted his head to look at her. He stared at her intently, seeming content just to see her gazing back. His lips twisted into a slight smile, a pitiful one. Tenderly, he reacher out a hand and stroked her cheek. Feeling her flush, he let his hand slide down and across her face in a diagonal pattern until it fell into place in her strands of smoky brown hair.
"What are we going to do?" Daine cried, throwing herself against his chest once again. He gratefully accepted her, taking in the feel of her body against his. He tightened his hold on her, shifting his own position until he felt comfortable. Tears still leaked from his dark eyes, falling down his face and soaking the collar of his black silk shirt.
"Not us, sweet," Numair said with a false calmness. He reached up to his face with his spare hand and hastily wiped away the newly shed tears. "It isn't our place to stop this, but Jon's."
"He won't," Daine wasn't going to give herself any sense of false hope. She'd been in a similar setting as this before, one where she'd been equally frightened. At that time, she'd believed that things wouldn't fall out in the direction that they seemed to be headed. She remembered clearly the feeling of watching her own hopes and dreams crumble before her. She didn't want to feel anything like that again.
"He will," Numair seemed sure of it, so sure that he would bet his life on it. Indeed he would if it were to come to that, for he was perhaps as stubborn as Daine when the time came. Though he was always one to brag about having a sensible mind, he was in fact far from such things during times of peril. He thought hastily, and many a time it paid off for the mage, but other times it did not. It was much like gambling. "By the gods, I'll make him!"
Numair made a move to stand, but Daine refused to remove her body from his lap. Tenderly, despite his anger at the circumstances, Numair placed a hand behind her head, gently stroking her hair. "Daine, please, let me go talk with him," Numair pleaded, knowing that it was the only way he'd be able to live with himself. There was a part of him that already knew that no matter what his argument was, he would be rejected. There was another side of him though, a side that refused to give up hope so soon. In the end, it was this side that won his mind over. "I can't just sit back and watch this happen to you, to us!"
"You think I don't hate it every bit as much as you do?" Daine was once again sobbing, far passed merely shedding a few tears. Her mind was in such peril just now, her thoughts jumbled. Too many things had happened far too soon and far too close to one another for her to emotionally grasp and accept it all. She had allowed herself to fall deeply in love with someone, and then moved a step further by agreeing to marry him. She'd made herself vulnerable for heartbreak in doing so, and now she was faced with it. She would have to leave him. There would be no wedding. "You don't know what a big step it was for me to become engaged to you."
Again Numair's eyes began to water as he was once again reminded of their engagement, and of the wedding that might possibly never come. Slicking his hair back nervously, in an attempt to hold back his threatening tears, Numair said, "If you think I don't realize that, then you must not realize what it was for me to even propose to you. Daine, I've never loved someone like I love you. I've never been loved back like you love me. This is as new for me as it is new for you. I can't stand for it to slip away. I'll die first!"
This time Numair didn't wait for a response from Daine. He rose from where he sat, careful that when Daine slid off his lap that she landed softly on the couch where they had been sitting."I love you," was all he said. As far as Daine was concerned, he had no need to say more. His words explained his reasons for his actions, and Daine knew that it wasn't her place to stop him. "Try to keep a hold of yourself while I'm away. I'll be back as soon as I'm finished with Jon." Now there was nothing left for Daine to do, but sit and wait, her mind heavy with thoughts of her departure.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Numair's mind was clouded with confusion and anger as he left Daine's chambers and headed out into the hall. He slammed the door behind him, letting his temper get the best of him temporarily. He couldn't think straight. The only thought that would drift through his mind just now was what he would do without her. He'd given his heart to her, and wasn't willing to take that back. He couldn't imagine what he might possibly be able to say to Jon that could fix any of this, but he had to try. He wasn't ready to let go just yet.
He couldn't remember much of the short walk to get to Jon's study. It was as if he was in a daze, a horrible, never ending one at that. There was nothing on his mind, and yet there was everything. He felt as if he was carrying a heavy pack on his back that weighed much more than he himself did. He was afraid. It took a lot for him to admit such a thing to himself, but now there was no denying it. He'd never been so afraid in all of his life.
It didn't take long for Numair to reach the set of rooms he was looking for. He found the oak wood door with a nameplate that read 'King's Study' in shiny gold lettering. Scowling at his king's name, Numair reached out for the brass door knob, he grasped it tightly between his knuckles and turned it. He jerked the door open without bothering to knock and let himself in. He half expected to find Jonathan coming at him in a rage for his rudeness in interrupting him without even a knock or permission to enter, but no such attack came.
Numair drew in a husky breath and let his eyes scan the room for the king. He found him crouched over his desk near the back wall. Jon showed no signs of having noticed Numair's unpermitted entry, which left Numair curious. Feeling venturesome, Numair took a step forward, in the direction on Jonathan. The floor creaked beneath his heavy steps, but still the king showed no signs of acknowledgment. Wanting the king to notice him, for the had to speak, Numair cleared his throat heavily. He bit his lip lightly to be sure he could keep his temper in check, though it would be hard. His calm appearance was a false one, for on the inside he burned with a raging anger.
"I don't recall asking you in, Numair," Jonathan said without looking up from his work. He sat scratching out something that Numair could not make out on a piece of parchment.
"I have a pressing matter to discuss with you, Majesty," Numair spat the name 'Majesty' and made sure that the rest of his words were just as spiteful.
"I know why you're here, and I've been anticipating your arrival from the second Daine ran out," Jonathan voiced, still not turning to look at Numair. He continued with whatever work he was doing, clearing his throat lightly as he did. His mannerism gave Numair the distinct idea that he couldn't care less about what he had done, and wasn't going to bother making it right. Perhaps this was just some sort of act though. Jon was known to never show any of his feelings of weakness or dejection.
"Then you know why I'm upset!" Numair's voice rose to a yell; he was no longer able to keep a hold on his anger. It seeped out of him now, and there was no use bothering to fight it.
"And there isn't anything I can do about it!" Jonathan suddenly rose from his place at his desk and turned to face Numair. His eyes seemed nothing but shallow holes in his head. His face was one of gloom, his blue eyes refusing to sparkle. Dark circles had formed under his eyes and he looked extremely tired. Numair could see clearly the effect the Immortal's war had had on his king, but was it more than that? Could this gloom also be an effect of losing Daine?
"But you're the king!" Numair pressed the subject, refusing to let it drop. He would use any means necessary to get Daine to be able to stay on Tortallan soil.
"And as king, I refuse to send my kingdom into a fierce war that we cannot win!" Jonathan was more than angry now. He'd been fuming since the very moment he had received the letter from Jarlath. Numair's visit was only going to make it worse.
"Don't you think you owe it to her," Numair's volume didn't falter in the slightest, but his tone had changed slightly, making him sound more calm.
"Perhaps I do owe it to her, but I can't help that. This isn't my choice," Jon had stopped his yelling, and was now talking sensibly. The mere thought of the peril and danger his kingdom would be in if he were to refuse Jarlath's demands was unthinkable and frightening.
"You could fix all of this, but you won't!" Numair was breathing heavily, shouting as loudly as he could. "You'd much rather take her life away! She loves Tortall, Jon! After all she's done for you, and for Tortall, how could you abandon her in her time of need?!"
Jon looked for a brief moment as if he was going to let a tear fall from his eye, but made up for it immediately with a sudden burst of anger. He let his remorse for Daine flow out of him as anger rather than sadness. "And what, Numair, do you propose is better? The life of one or the life of many! Only the gods know how many innocent men, women, and children would be slaughtered in a war with Galla and Scanra combined! Its madness! Daine will still be alive if she is sent to Galla. If she stays and there is a war, she could easily be among the countless who will be slain. You an I both know that she would be directly in the thick of battle!"
Numair hung his head low, bringing his hand up to hide his face. He didn't want Jon to see his suddenly falling tears. It wasn't fair, what was going on. Nothing was right about any of this. No one should have to suffer over this, but either way things went, someone would. Either way, he would have a great probability of losing his magelet, and that was far from being something he desired. "There has to be something you can do," Numair let his lanky form fall into the chair behind him in the center of the room. Jonathan moved to stand over Numair, noting the way his tone was choked as if from crying. Daine must really mean something to this man, he thought sadly.
"I wish that there was," Jon said, letting himself calm down as well. Numair was no longer yelling, so there was no need for Jon to do so. "I'm sorry about all of this, Numair."
"Being sorry is going to keep her here," Numair tried to sound as calm as possible, but was finding this to be a difficult task. Even before he and Daine had confessed their love for one another, Numair was certain he would have very much the same reaction to the news of her returning back to Galla to live against her will. He didn't want Jon to know that they were engaged now. He didn't want anyone to know that they were anything but teacher and student; they were friends. It would be easier on everyone if no one knew about that little detail. They were possibly never going to marry, so that information had little to no value at this point.
"I know she means a lot to you, Numair, but you're going to have to accept that she has to go," Jon did his best to be sympathetic with the man that sat before him. It was no secret that Numair was extremely close to Daine. Jon knew that Numair considered Daine to be as close as a sister, and that Daine felt the same. Out of everyone that Daine had met upon coming to Tortall those six years ago, Numair had been the one she seemed to have grown closest to. They were rarely found apart from the other, especially since their trip to the Divine Realms.
Numair lifted his head from his hands, revealing his tear stained face to Jonathan. Jon drew in a sharp breath, feeling guilty at the site of his friend's face. He looked as if he were a mess, and Jonathan was sure that things were much worse on the inside. There's nothing I can do, Jonathan reminded himself sadly. The two men spent several minutes sitting in silence, staring off into space. Finally, Numair spoke up, tone choked and barely more than a whisper in volume. "I'd best be on my way. I've no business left here," His appearance was ragged as ever, and Jon wished he could do something for his best mage.
"Go talk to her, Numair," Jon advised, hoping that a good long talk between the two friends would be just what they needed. "She needs you now, and you need her. You'll get over all of this."
"That was my intent," Numair said, drying his eyes on the hem of his black robe. In his mind, Numair immediately defied Jonathan's statement that he would someday get over all of this. He knew that it was far from true. With that, the lanky mage rose from where he sat and made his way quietly to the door. He walked in silence back to Daine's chambers.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
A/N: Wow.....I can't believe I finally finished this chapter! Its taken far too long, and I beg your forgiveness......The delay in updating couldn't be helped, and if you must blame someone, then I ask that you blame my teachers! Don't forget to review because you all know that I love reviews and that I won't update if I don't get enough......I promise I'll update soon! Its going to get sadder real soon, but its got to be that way, unfortunately.... Bear with me, please, and I promise you'll get lots of fluff and also some happy times believe it or not...... ^_^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Last View:
"Daine," Numair interrupted quickly, voice hushed and worried, "Are you trying to tell me you want this to be over?"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Numair ran a nervous hand through his mass of hair, succeeding only in messing it up. Daine watched his movements and listened intently to his words and knew that she'd best explain things to him in more detail. "You'd better have a seat," Daine said, reaching up a delicate hand to wipe away the tear that was forming in his eye. He looked slightly more assured. Her manner and attitude was grim, still making him wonder. "I'd best explain myself better."
"I must admit to some confusion," Numair's tone was hesitant, as if he were trying to stay calm in a tense setting. Daine knew this news would hit him every bit as hard as it had hit her. After all, he was her new fiancee!
Numair did as she had suggested, and made a move toward the couch. She followed suit, and took the place next to him. She pressed her body against his, and felt him tense up in response."What changed your mind?" Numair asked after a moment of this, not letting down his nerves in the slightest. He emitted a light, almost chilling chuckle, shaking his head as he did. It was not by any means a happy gesture, but a sad and possibly confused one. "Is it something I did?" His last comment was made with a shaky voice, one that was close to tears. She could see his eyes glimmering in the light, watering up. She knew that she herself was doing much the same.
Daine fought not to cry as she moved on to her explanation. She had to stay calm, stay strong. If not for herself, then for him she had to. He seemed scared enough without her own feelings bearing down upon him. He need not carry her burden as well as his own. "No," Daine said quietly, placing a hand lightly on his knee. He flinched at this, causing Daine to swallow hard. "No, that's not it at all. I haven't a choice."
"What are you talking about?" Numair said suddenly, eyes alert. He seemed beyond mere curiosity, by this point. His mind was demanding that he know what this was about. His naturally protective nature towards her began showing very clearly. Daine's heart twisted painfully at the mere idea of what she was about to say.
"Numair, when Jon called me to see him this morning-"Daine fought for the right words to come to her mind, but found this an impossible task to carry out. Everything was so confusing right now, nothing appeared to be right. It was hard to imagine how innocent and nieve she held felt just mere hours ago, when she had risen. She would give anything in the world just now, to go back to that time, to make all of this nightmare she was living suddenly fade from existence.
"What in the name of Mithros has Jon got to do with you leaving me?!" Numair burst out suddenly, letting his anger, confusion, and hurt come fuming out. He stood to his feet as he said this words, standing to pace. He couldn't bear to look down at her, for she was the cause of this immense pain he felt. He felt betrayal and heartbreak, never a comforting mixture. He wanted to cry out as if he had a thousand physical wounds covering his body. This pain was worse; it was indescribable.
Immediately after Numair's harsh reaction, Daine burst into tears, seeking comfort in the man she loved and finding none. In her fight for hope she threw her face into her hands, a sign of defeat. Tears leaked out of her eyes like a fast flowing river, making Numair feel a pang of guilt. Suddenly, he regretted his action knowing that he was very much still in love with her, even if she didn't return his affections. Gently, he reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder. He had expected her to shrug it off, but it was as if she wanted her whole body to melt into him just by that simple touch. "Numair, I'm so sorry!" She choked out in-between sobs, wanting desperately for him to forgive her.
"Sweet, no," his voice was tender and gentle, trying his best to rectify his previous actions. Numair moved closer to her and again took his seat beside her. In this time he did not break the contact of his hand on her shoulder, not wanting to disturb her further. All of these simple gestures were paining him beyond all comprehension, for he had the wrong idea of this whole business all together. His view of it was that she was trying to tell him it was over between them, that she no longer returned his affections. That was enough to tear his heart apart, piece by piece. "Its me who should be sorry. I shouldn't have acted so harshly. If you don't want this anymore, then I should just accept that."
"Numair, you don't understand," Daine said quietly, tears still pouring steadily down her face.
"Then explain it to me," Numair's eyes pleaded with her to make things clearer. She knew she owed this to him, she knew that he needed to understand, but it was something that at the moment felt like a thorn in her side. She was so scared, perhaps more so than she'd ever been in her life. She didn't want to talk about it, she wanted to forget it. "Haven't I at least got the right to know why the woman I love more than anything suddenly wants to end our relationship?" Tears were starting to form slightly in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Daine admitted, reaching out and once again placing a hand on his shoulder. It was amazing how just this simple hold on his arm could give her enough reassurance to tell him her news. "Gods, I love you so much!" She let out a light moan, one that twisted Numair's heart as the sound filled his ears. He couldn't understand what could have distressed her so, when, only little more than an hour ago she had been as cheerful as ever.
"Then tell me why you are so intent on leaving me!" Numair was becoming more frustrated once again, and his tone showed it. Daine shivered slightly, wishing this could all just be over.
"I'm not, can't you see that?!" Daine too had turned to a harsher tone, not knowing what else to do, and feeling slightly offended that Numair thought she wanted things to happen this way. "Its not as if I have any choice in the matter!"
"Why don't you?! You're a free human being who can go where you please!" Numair was getting angry again, though not necessarily at Daine. He didn't know who he was angry with, or why. He just felt it. It was like a horrible pulling at his heart. It tugged roughly at all his senses and created a knot in his throat.
"That's what I would have thought, but I guess I was fair wrong about that!" Daine was near to yelling at this point, angry with him for being so harsh towards her. Couldn't he see what turmoil her mind was in?
"What you're saying doesn't make a copper's worth of sense to me, Daine!" Numair's eyes were begin to leak, a single tear sliding down his face. His frustration had gotten to him, pushing him too far. Tenderly, Daine reached out a hand and wiped the tear away. She lightly ran her finger across his face, letting it slid under his chin. In this moment her eyes met his, a look of pure sadness written on each. They gazed into the other's eyes for some time, searching deep within to find the answers they so desperately sought.
As Numair looked deep into his lover's blue gray eyes, he wanted nothing more than to bring his lips gently over hers, kissing her. This was no time to do such a thing, and it chilled him to think that there might possibly not be another time. "Jon is sending me back to Galla!" Daine blurted out all at once, not knowing where the sudden burst of courage had come from. Numair's eyes grew wide for a moment, his lips parted open slightly. He swiftly brought one of his large hands up to gently massage his forehead. His eyes blazed thoughtfully, leaving Daine to wonder how he had taken it.
"What?" It was as if he needed to hear it once more, in order to fully believe it. His eyes looked hollow and worried. Daine leaned in closer to him, tucking her head safely under his chin and resting her head against his chest. He felt slightly tense at this, and she knew very well why. She'd put him through a lot this morning. First she'd unintentionally led him to think that she no longer wished to marry him after she'd only just accepted his proposal the night before. After that, she had had to tell him the real meaning behind it all, and reveal to him why she was so distressed. She had told him point blank that he was going to lose her, and soon.
"Jon called me to his study this morning, to tell me that I've got to be sent back to Galla," Daine repeated her statement, her voice holding slightly more of a sense of calmness than before. She shifted her position in his arms slightly so that she could see his face. It held a look of pure horror and disbelief.
Numair shook his head and blinked furiously, trying to let the news sink in. It burned his insides, twisting his heart painfully. If anything, the knot in his throat only grew bigger, uncomfortably. "That can't be true! He can't do that!" Numair voiced, suddenly enraged. If he had been angry before, it had been different. Even when he was angry with Daine, he somehow always managed to keep a firm hold on his temper. When it dealt more with another of his friends, he would become livid with anger. Being that he was the most powerful mage in the realm, he wasn't one to cross.
Daine burst into tears once again, clinging tightly to him. She gripped his shirt protectively between her fingers, soaking it with her tears. She felt his arms swing around her shoulders, pulling her all the more close. He held her tightly against her chest, afraid to let her go. She could feel his face resting in her mass of hair as tears leaked from his eyes, making her hair damp. Daine could only remember feeling so distressed at one, possibly two other times in her life. One of those times was when she had been only twelve years old and she had been forced to pull the clumps of arrows out of her own mother's corpse. The second time had been when she'd stood in the secret passage under the palace in Carthak and Kaddar had told her that Numair had been executed. Daine felt that same pain now, but in a different way. It seemed almost as if she herself had been given the death sentence. She couldn't even begin to imagine being ripped away from the home she knew so well and loved just as much. Her friends, she couldn't leave them! They were a part of her, like a family. Numair especially was one she couldn't bear to leave behind. He was the love of her life, something she'd never dreamed she'd find. He'd given her so much, sacrificed so much just for her. She knew that he returned her affections in full, if not more so. He was her fiancee, and she couldn't leave him.
Daine wearily lifted her head from the nape of her lover's neck, eyes tear stained. Numair, upon feeling her move to sit up, made no move to do so himself. Feeling as if he'd been run over by a thousand wagons towed by only the largest of horses, he let his head hang in despair. Daine gazed at his form, longing to lift up his chin, so that she could see his wondrous dark eyes. It was as if he had heard her unspoken wish and granted it, for at that exact moment, he lifted his head to look at her. He stared at her intently, seeming content just to see her gazing back. His lips twisted into a slight smile, a pitiful one. Tenderly, he reacher out a hand and stroked her cheek. Feeling her flush, he let his hand slide down and across her face in a diagonal pattern until it fell into place in her strands of smoky brown hair.
"What are we going to do?" Daine cried, throwing herself against his chest once again. He gratefully accepted her, taking in the feel of her body against his. He tightened his hold on her, shifting his own position until he felt comfortable. Tears still leaked from his dark eyes, falling down his face and soaking the collar of his black silk shirt.
"Not us, sweet," Numair said with a false calmness. He reached up to his face with his spare hand and hastily wiped away the newly shed tears. "It isn't our place to stop this, but Jon's."
"He won't," Daine wasn't going to give herself any sense of false hope. She'd been in a similar setting as this before, one where she'd been equally frightened. At that time, she'd believed that things wouldn't fall out in the direction that they seemed to be headed. She remembered clearly the feeling of watching her own hopes and dreams crumble before her. She didn't want to feel anything like that again.
"He will," Numair seemed sure of it, so sure that he would bet his life on it. Indeed he would if it were to come to that, for he was perhaps as stubborn as Daine when the time came. Though he was always one to brag about having a sensible mind, he was in fact far from such things during times of peril. He thought hastily, and many a time it paid off for the mage, but other times it did not. It was much like gambling. "By the gods, I'll make him!"
Numair made a move to stand, but Daine refused to remove her body from his lap. Tenderly, despite his anger at the circumstances, Numair placed a hand behind her head, gently stroking her hair. "Daine, please, let me go talk with him," Numair pleaded, knowing that it was the only way he'd be able to live with himself. There was a part of him that already knew that no matter what his argument was, he would be rejected. There was another side of him though, a side that refused to give up hope so soon. In the end, it was this side that won his mind over. "I can't just sit back and watch this happen to you, to us!"
"You think I don't hate it every bit as much as you do?" Daine was once again sobbing, far passed merely shedding a few tears. Her mind was in such peril just now, her thoughts jumbled. Too many things had happened far too soon and far too close to one another for her to emotionally grasp and accept it all. She had allowed herself to fall deeply in love with someone, and then moved a step further by agreeing to marry him. She'd made herself vulnerable for heartbreak in doing so, and now she was faced with it. She would have to leave him. There would be no wedding. "You don't know what a big step it was for me to become engaged to you."
Again Numair's eyes began to water as he was once again reminded of their engagement, and of the wedding that might possibly never come. Slicking his hair back nervously, in an attempt to hold back his threatening tears, Numair said, "If you think I don't realize that, then you must not realize what it was for me to even propose to you. Daine, I've never loved someone like I love you. I've never been loved back like you love me. This is as new for me as it is new for you. I can't stand for it to slip away. I'll die first!"
This time Numair didn't wait for a response from Daine. He rose from where he sat, careful that when Daine slid off his lap that she landed softly on the couch where they had been sitting."I love you," was all he said. As far as Daine was concerned, he had no need to say more. His words explained his reasons for his actions, and Daine knew that it wasn't her place to stop him. "Try to keep a hold of yourself while I'm away. I'll be back as soon as I'm finished with Jon." Now there was nothing left for Daine to do, but sit and wait, her mind heavy with thoughts of her departure.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Numair's mind was clouded with confusion and anger as he left Daine's chambers and headed out into the hall. He slammed the door behind him, letting his temper get the best of him temporarily. He couldn't think straight. The only thought that would drift through his mind just now was what he would do without her. He'd given his heart to her, and wasn't willing to take that back. He couldn't imagine what he might possibly be able to say to Jon that could fix any of this, but he had to try. He wasn't ready to let go just yet.
He couldn't remember much of the short walk to get to Jon's study. It was as if he was in a daze, a horrible, never ending one at that. There was nothing on his mind, and yet there was everything. He felt as if he was carrying a heavy pack on his back that weighed much more than he himself did. He was afraid. It took a lot for him to admit such a thing to himself, but now there was no denying it. He'd never been so afraid in all of his life.
It didn't take long for Numair to reach the set of rooms he was looking for. He found the oak wood door with a nameplate that read 'King's Study' in shiny gold lettering. Scowling at his king's name, Numair reached out for the brass door knob, he grasped it tightly between his knuckles and turned it. He jerked the door open without bothering to knock and let himself in. He half expected to find Jonathan coming at him in a rage for his rudeness in interrupting him without even a knock or permission to enter, but no such attack came.
Numair drew in a husky breath and let his eyes scan the room for the king. He found him crouched over his desk near the back wall. Jon showed no signs of having noticed Numair's unpermitted entry, which left Numair curious. Feeling venturesome, Numair took a step forward, in the direction on Jonathan. The floor creaked beneath his heavy steps, but still the king showed no signs of acknowledgment. Wanting the king to notice him, for the had to speak, Numair cleared his throat heavily. He bit his lip lightly to be sure he could keep his temper in check, though it would be hard. His calm appearance was a false one, for on the inside he burned with a raging anger.
"I don't recall asking you in, Numair," Jonathan said without looking up from his work. He sat scratching out something that Numair could not make out on a piece of parchment.
"I have a pressing matter to discuss with you, Majesty," Numair spat the name 'Majesty' and made sure that the rest of his words were just as spiteful.
"I know why you're here, and I've been anticipating your arrival from the second Daine ran out," Jonathan voiced, still not turning to look at Numair. He continued with whatever work he was doing, clearing his throat lightly as he did. His mannerism gave Numair the distinct idea that he couldn't care less about what he had done, and wasn't going to bother making it right. Perhaps this was just some sort of act though. Jon was known to never show any of his feelings of weakness or dejection.
"Then you know why I'm upset!" Numair's voice rose to a yell; he was no longer able to keep a hold on his anger. It seeped out of him now, and there was no use bothering to fight it.
"And there isn't anything I can do about it!" Jonathan suddenly rose from his place at his desk and turned to face Numair. His eyes seemed nothing but shallow holes in his head. His face was one of gloom, his blue eyes refusing to sparkle. Dark circles had formed under his eyes and he looked extremely tired. Numair could see clearly the effect the Immortal's war had had on his king, but was it more than that? Could this gloom also be an effect of losing Daine?
"But you're the king!" Numair pressed the subject, refusing to let it drop. He would use any means necessary to get Daine to be able to stay on Tortallan soil.
"And as king, I refuse to send my kingdom into a fierce war that we cannot win!" Jonathan was more than angry now. He'd been fuming since the very moment he had received the letter from Jarlath. Numair's visit was only going to make it worse.
"Don't you think you owe it to her," Numair's volume didn't falter in the slightest, but his tone had changed slightly, making him sound more calm.
"Perhaps I do owe it to her, but I can't help that. This isn't my choice," Jon had stopped his yelling, and was now talking sensibly. The mere thought of the peril and danger his kingdom would be in if he were to refuse Jarlath's demands was unthinkable and frightening.
"You could fix all of this, but you won't!" Numair was breathing heavily, shouting as loudly as he could. "You'd much rather take her life away! She loves Tortall, Jon! After all she's done for you, and for Tortall, how could you abandon her in her time of need?!"
Jon looked for a brief moment as if he was going to let a tear fall from his eye, but made up for it immediately with a sudden burst of anger. He let his remorse for Daine flow out of him as anger rather than sadness. "And what, Numair, do you propose is better? The life of one or the life of many! Only the gods know how many innocent men, women, and children would be slaughtered in a war with Galla and Scanra combined! Its madness! Daine will still be alive if she is sent to Galla. If she stays and there is a war, she could easily be among the countless who will be slain. You an I both know that she would be directly in the thick of battle!"
Numair hung his head low, bringing his hand up to hide his face. He didn't want Jon to see his suddenly falling tears. It wasn't fair, what was going on. Nothing was right about any of this. No one should have to suffer over this, but either way things went, someone would. Either way, he would have a great probability of losing his magelet, and that was far from being something he desired. "There has to be something you can do," Numair let his lanky form fall into the chair behind him in the center of the room. Jonathan moved to stand over Numair, noting the way his tone was choked as if from crying. Daine must really mean something to this man, he thought sadly.
"I wish that there was," Jon said, letting himself calm down as well. Numair was no longer yelling, so there was no need for Jon to do so. "I'm sorry about all of this, Numair."
"Being sorry is going to keep her here," Numair tried to sound as calm as possible, but was finding this to be a difficult task. Even before he and Daine had confessed their love for one another, Numair was certain he would have very much the same reaction to the news of her returning back to Galla to live against her will. He didn't want Jon to know that they were engaged now. He didn't want anyone to know that they were anything but teacher and student; they were friends. It would be easier on everyone if no one knew about that little detail. They were possibly never going to marry, so that information had little to no value at this point.
"I know she means a lot to you, Numair, but you're going to have to accept that she has to go," Jon did his best to be sympathetic with the man that sat before him. It was no secret that Numair was extremely close to Daine. Jon knew that Numair considered Daine to be as close as a sister, and that Daine felt the same. Out of everyone that Daine had met upon coming to Tortall those six years ago, Numair had been the one she seemed to have grown closest to. They were rarely found apart from the other, especially since their trip to the Divine Realms.
Numair lifted his head from his hands, revealing his tear stained face to Jonathan. Jon drew in a sharp breath, feeling guilty at the site of his friend's face. He looked as if he were a mess, and Jonathan was sure that things were much worse on the inside. There's nothing I can do, Jonathan reminded himself sadly. The two men spent several minutes sitting in silence, staring off into space. Finally, Numair spoke up, tone choked and barely more than a whisper in volume. "I'd best be on my way. I've no business left here," His appearance was ragged as ever, and Jon wished he could do something for his best mage.
"Go talk to her, Numair," Jon advised, hoping that a good long talk between the two friends would be just what they needed. "She needs you now, and you need her. You'll get over all of this."
"That was my intent," Numair said, drying his eyes on the hem of his black robe. In his mind, Numair immediately defied Jonathan's statement that he would someday get over all of this. He knew that it was far from true. With that, the lanky mage rose from where he sat and made his way quietly to the door. He walked in silence back to Daine's chambers.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
A/N: Wow.....I can't believe I finally finished this chapter! Its taken far too long, and I beg your forgiveness......The delay in updating couldn't be helped, and if you must blame someone, then I ask that you blame my teachers! Don't forget to review because you all know that I love reviews and that I won't update if I don't get enough......I promise I'll update soon! Its going to get sadder real soon, but its got to be that way, unfortunately.... Bear with me, please, and I promise you'll get lots of fluff and also some happy times believe it or not...... ^_^
