Notes: Finally, Chapter 3 - I'm uncertain of the further progress of the
story... no real plot..^^;; Hmm...it'll figure, won't it...
Chapter 3 - Broken
New York. Yuki stood in the middle of the Central Park while the snow was falling from the black sky. He looked up to where the snow was coming from and took a deep breath of the cold air. A tear made its way down Yuki's cheek. It wasn't that he actually wanted to hurt Shuichi but...his little pink haired vocalist deserved something better than a cockroach like him...
// Dear... I can't go back... it hurts so much... but you'll get over it...I'm nothing... //
**************************************************************************** *********************************************
Tokyo.
Shuichi opened his eyes and looked around in there bedroom. He was glad that he didn't have another dream or - if he had - that he didn't remember it. As he let the past day pass again in his mind his face went sad, then, thinking about Yuki, his eyes became expressionless, empty and dark. He got up to go to the kitchen. As he entered the living room he saw Hiro sleeping on the sofa.
//He is so cute when he sleeps.//
A small smile appeared on Shu's face as he watched Hiro who woke up the same moment.
"Hey Shu-chan, how do you feel?" Rubbing his eyes, he made himself sit up and gestured Shuichi to sit down next to him. Shuichi made his way to the couch and sat down next to his friend. "Well... I slept quite good but.. no, I don't feel any better..." Hiro remembered the blood on the balcony and looked at the back of Shuichi's head and saw some dried blood there.
"Shu? Where does the blood on your head come from?" He made a worried face as he waited for the vocalist to reply.
Shuichi started looking uncomfortable and drew his gaze to another direction. "I don't know.....maybe... umm...I hit my head while I was sleeping.."
Hiro knew that that wasn't right - there was no place in the bedroom where one could hit his head that hard. He grabbed Shuichi's arms and turned him around so that they were face to face now.
"Shuichi... please don't lie to me. You know it as well as I do - the bed is soft. And I saw blood on the balcony yesterday. What on earth did you want out there? Surely not just getting some fresh air..."
Shuichi's eyes fell.
"Hiro... I... ... ... I... " Hiro hugged the smaller one. "Hiro... I ... you know... there's no reason left.... for me.. to live... I wanted to escape from reality... I'm the same coward I've always been.. I run away.. I'm always running away.. and I can't do anything about it... as soon as there're problems I want to get away.." Shuichi sobbed and his eyes wet. " I think I can't be fixed anymore ... broken into thousands of pieces...Yuki..he is...he's my everything ... I love him ... and.. I don't want to exist without him." "And because of that, you wanted to... make an end to it?" Shuichi nodded. He looked so lost with his wet eyes that stared into the air. The path between life and death was narrow at best. Just the slightest hit would cause Shuichi to fulfill his death wish or to come back to his old life - before Yuki's appearance that had changed everything.
Hiro decided to do every possible thing to keep Shuichi away from killing himself. He didn't want to lose his best friend.. they shared so many memories..and dreams. They grew up together and they knew each other like nobody else did. No, he wouldn't let this Yuki take away his precious Shuichi from him. Not now, not ever. The decision was made. He would fight for Shuichi. And after all... for himself as well.
//But... what could I do to comfort his friend? There is only... one possibility... and that's... finding Eiri ...and beat the shit out of him so he realizes what it means not to keep promises made to me... //
Where to begin? How to find a man who could be anywhere in the world? And even after searching every little square millimetre... what if Yuki wasn't being anywhere - what if he just could not be found? Wouldn't that be even worse for Shui- no...actually, it could only turn better. He reached his point zero. That was the least he could - he had to do for Shu.
"Shuichi, come on, we're gonna find Yuki!" Hiro was determined but Shuichi didn't seem too exited. "So what? Do you think it would mean anything to him to see me? He does not love me and I can't change it... nothing can change it. You can't force love... you should know that, Hiro.." "Shuichi.. what is it that you want? What, for god's sake, what do you want? Do you WANT to suffer that badly? You want to be with Yuki, don't you? So let off from your self-pity for a moment and decide what you want! You DO want him, so come on and move your ass from the sofa and look for him."
Shuichi looked up and stared at Hiro in surprise. Speechless, he blinked. " Hiro.. you're... you're just right. I used to be more optimistic...right?" A smile appeared on both of their lips. "It's impossible to know until I find out... I guess that's it."
"Hiro?" "Shu?" "Thank you." Hiro smiled.
They went to the kitchen and had breakfast.
"So, how do we start, Hiro? Maybe Mika knows something... but she and Seguchi-san wouldn't tell me where he is even if they knew..."
"You think so?"
"Yeah... when Yuki was at the hospital, they made it clear to me that I'm not to keep bothering Yuki because it's not good for his health. I won't get any support from them no matter how hard I try... I think I can't rely on his family at all.. they hate me."
"Hm... Sakuma-san? Or Kei? But Mika-san... maybe you can try to talk to her? Just a try, what's to lose?"
"Right... no pains no gains, right?" Shuichi got the phone and called Mika.
"Moshi moshi?" "Mika? It's me, Shuichi." "Oh, Shuichi, how are you?" "Come on... Mika... you know I'm not fine...far away from 'fine'...and you also know why..." "Shu-" "Can you come?" "Umm...I gotta do some things but when I'm finished with them I can...why?" "Mika, you know-" "I won't tell you where he is." "Please come Mika..." Shuichi laid down the receiver and went back to Hiro. "I can only hope she'll come." The pink haired boy tried to smile but he couldn't manage to do so. "I think I'm gonna lay down for a while.. that cuts down the time to wait till Mika comes...if she comes."
Shuichi went to the living room and lay down on the sofa. He watched the ceiling thinking about the whole situation but his mind was as blank and white as the ceiling was. He shut his eyes. Now everything was black... just as the place his heart once was at. It was ripped out of his body and now the only thing left was a hole. The deep dark hole he kept falling into since Yuki had left him. It took away all his strength and he didn't want to think anymore. He fell asleep.
End of Chapter 3 - Broken
Chapter 3 - Broken
New York. Yuki stood in the middle of the Central Park while the snow was falling from the black sky. He looked up to where the snow was coming from and took a deep breath of the cold air. A tear made its way down Yuki's cheek. It wasn't that he actually wanted to hurt Shuichi but...his little pink haired vocalist deserved something better than a cockroach like him...
// Dear... I can't go back... it hurts so much... but you'll get over it...I'm nothing... //
**************************************************************************** *********************************************
Tokyo.
Shuichi opened his eyes and looked around in there bedroom. He was glad that he didn't have another dream or - if he had - that he didn't remember it. As he let the past day pass again in his mind his face went sad, then, thinking about Yuki, his eyes became expressionless, empty and dark. He got up to go to the kitchen. As he entered the living room he saw Hiro sleeping on the sofa.
//He is so cute when he sleeps.//
A small smile appeared on Shu's face as he watched Hiro who woke up the same moment.
"Hey Shu-chan, how do you feel?" Rubbing his eyes, he made himself sit up and gestured Shuichi to sit down next to him. Shuichi made his way to the couch and sat down next to his friend. "Well... I slept quite good but.. no, I don't feel any better..." Hiro remembered the blood on the balcony and looked at the back of Shuichi's head and saw some dried blood there.
"Shu? Where does the blood on your head come from?" He made a worried face as he waited for the vocalist to reply.
Shuichi started looking uncomfortable and drew his gaze to another direction. "I don't know.....maybe... umm...I hit my head while I was sleeping.."
Hiro knew that that wasn't right - there was no place in the bedroom where one could hit his head that hard. He grabbed Shuichi's arms and turned him around so that they were face to face now.
"Shuichi... please don't lie to me. You know it as well as I do - the bed is soft. And I saw blood on the balcony yesterday. What on earth did you want out there? Surely not just getting some fresh air..."
Shuichi's eyes fell.
"Hiro... I... ... ... I... " Hiro hugged the smaller one. "Hiro... I ... you know... there's no reason left.... for me.. to live... I wanted to escape from reality... I'm the same coward I've always been.. I run away.. I'm always running away.. and I can't do anything about it... as soon as there're problems I want to get away.." Shuichi sobbed and his eyes wet. " I think I can't be fixed anymore ... broken into thousands of pieces...Yuki..he is...he's my everything ... I love him ... and.. I don't want to exist without him." "And because of that, you wanted to... make an end to it?" Shuichi nodded. He looked so lost with his wet eyes that stared into the air. The path between life and death was narrow at best. Just the slightest hit would cause Shuichi to fulfill his death wish or to come back to his old life - before Yuki's appearance that had changed everything.
Hiro decided to do every possible thing to keep Shuichi away from killing himself. He didn't want to lose his best friend.. they shared so many memories..and dreams. They grew up together and they knew each other like nobody else did. No, he wouldn't let this Yuki take away his precious Shuichi from him. Not now, not ever. The decision was made. He would fight for Shuichi. And after all... for himself as well.
//But... what could I do to comfort his friend? There is only... one possibility... and that's... finding Eiri ...and beat the shit out of him so he realizes what it means not to keep promises made to me... //
Where to begin? How to find a man who could be anywhere in the world? And even after searching every little square millimetre... what if Yuki wasn't being anywhere - what if he just could not be found? Wouldn't that be even worse for Shui- no...actually, it could only turn better. He reached his point zero. That was the least he could - he had to do for Shu.
"Shuichi, come on, we're gonna find Yuki!" Hiro was determined but Shuichi didn't seem too exited. "So what? Do you think it would mean anything to him to see me? He does not love me and I can't change it... nothing can change it. You can't force love... you should know that, Hiro.." "Shuichi.. what is it that you want? What, for god's sake, what do you want? Do you WANT to suffer that badly? You want to be with Yuki, don't you? So let off from your self-pity for a moment and decide what you want! You DO want him, so come on and move your ass from the sofa and look for him."
Shuichi looked up and stared at Hiro in surprise. Speechless, he blinked. " Hiro.. you're... you're just right. I used to be more optimistic...right?" A smile appeared on both of their lips. "It's impossible to know until I find out... I guess that's it."
"Hiro?" "Shu?" "Thank you." Hiro smiled.
They went to the kitchen and had breakfast.
"So, how do we start, Hiro? Maybe Mika knows something... but she and Seguchi-san wouldn't tell me where he is even if they knew..."
"You think so?"
"Yeah... when Yuki was at the hospital, they made it clear to me that I'm not to keep bothering Yuki because it's not good for his health. I won't get any support from them no matter how hard I try... I think I can't rely on his family at all.. they hate me."
"Hm... Sakuma-san? Or Kei? But Mika-san... maybe you can try to talk to her? Just a try, what's to lose?"
"Right... no pains no gains, right?" Shuichi got the phone and called Mika.
"Moshi moshi?" "Mika? It's me, Shuichi." "Oh, Shuichi, how are you?" "Come on... Mika... you know I'm not fine...far away from 'fine'...and you also know why..." "Shu-" "Can you come?" "Umm...I gotta do some things but when I'm finished with them I can...why?" "Mika, you know-" "I won't tell you where he is." "Please come Mika..." Shuichi laid down the receiver and went back to Hiro. "I can only hope she'll come." The pink haired boy tried to smile but he couldn't manage to do so. "I think I'm gonna lay down for a while.. that cuts down the time to wait till Mika comes...if she comes."
Shuichi went to the living room and lay down on the sofa. He watched the ceiling thinking about the whole situation but his mind was as blank and white as the ceiling was. He shut his eyes. Now everything was black... just as the place his heart once was at. It was ripped out of his body and now the only thing left was a hole. The deep dark hole he kept falling into since Yuki had left him. It took away all his strength and he didn't want to think anymore. He fell asleep.
End of Chapter 3 - Broken
