A/N: Hey everyone! I told you I'd take care of that nasty cliffy if I got reviews, so here I am.....Perhaps if I'm lucky, I can find a way to throw in a cliffy or two in THIS chapter...hehehe.....But I am truly, very sorry about taking so long to update! You see, since this story is going to be so long, and it is no where near done (I've only scratched the surface), I thought it to be best for my own sanity that I take a break and work on something else. And, I did just that. Some of you have been reading the fic I started, Wolfish Desires, and I'm pleased. But, I've finally started to feel the urge to write for this fic again! *does dance* Don't worry, I haven't forgotten Wolfish Desires! In fact, I'm almost done with the next chapter for it, so don't fret! Just read what I've done for this one, and R/R! ^_^

Disclaimer: I don't own any Tamora Pierce characters or ideas, nor do I own any of Vince Gill's lyrics.....

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Last View:

"Daine, I-" Numair was about to respond to her, admitting to her that he was baffled by this whole line of questioning. He was, however, interrupted by a soft rapping at the door to his main chambers.

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        Daine nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the soft rapping on the main chamber of Numair's rooms. It meant only one thing to her, and that was that it was time for her to go. In her mind's eye, she could see without even opening that door that it would be a page, come to deliver the message that the Gallans had arrived and were waiting for her, that she must go. Had she been able to think more rationally just now though, it was probable that she would have realized that no one would guess to look for her in her teacher's rooms. She was not thinking rationally, and though she did not know it, neither was Numair.

        Numair too had the same reaction as Daine. His eyes grew wide with a newly found fright as he heard the rapping on the door. It seemed to taunt him, laughing at his paralyzed form that lay sprawled on the bed, unable to defend his only love. As Daine looked on at him, his eyes looked hollow to her, almost haunted. It sent a silent shiver up her spine, giving her chills.

        Faintly, Daine thought she could hear her love mumble, "I'm not ready for this," just as his face flew forward, pressing his lips to hers. Half of her told her that she had to push him away and leave now, as was her duty. The other half of her said that duty could wait, that she had a different emotion to obey just now.

        The rapping on the door soon became more insistent, revealing that the one knocking was excited over something or other. In the back of her mind, as their kiss went on, Daine thought she could hear the familiar voice of the Lioness calling out to them from outside. She quickly pushed that thought away, not wanting to think of anything but the man before her that she never wanted to leave.

        Giving in to the rational side of herself, Daine began to slowly pull out of her lover's grasp, starting by removing her lips from his. He groaned, as if in pain, and tried to pull her back. "Numair, no," Daine said sadly, reaching up a spare hand to dry her eyes, "I have to go."

        "Not yet," he pleaded, gently squeezing her hands. He held her two hands in his larger ones, refusing to let go. Daine looked into his pleading dark eyes, and could not help but give in to him. Slowly, she lowered her head back to his, letting their foreheads touch. Though she had not yet allowed her lips to touch his, he made that first move. Tenderly, and filled with love, he eased his lips over hers, caressing her lips with much passion. Daine blocked out the rapping on the door, which had now turned into persistent banging. It was as if it did not exist just now. All that was real to her was the feeling of her lover's lips over her own, and the taste of his breath as it mingled with hers.

***All I know

Is everything is not as it's sold

but the more I grow the less I know

And I have lived so many lives

Though I'm not old

And the more I see, the less I grow

The fewer the seeds the more I sow***

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        Alanna felt panic begin to wash over her as sweat began forming in tiny beads on her face. Why wasn't he answering? Somehow, Alanna got the idea that he was avoiding her. What if he knew something about Daine's sudden disappearance? Knowing Numair, she would never be able to pry it out of him if he did not wish for her to know. "For Tortall, I have to find Daine!" Alanna whispered furiously to herself. She didn't want to force Daine to leave today, but it had to be done. The country she loved and called her home would be thrown into peril if Daine did not go.

        "Numair Salmalin, open this door!" Alanna hollered, her voice carrying. She knew that if he was indeed in his rooms, there was no way that he had not heard her calling to him by now. This made her all the more vexed with her tall friend, and she hit his door all that much harder. "Numair, I know you're in there!" Alanna tried again, raising her voice louder, "Daine's gone missing!"

        When Alanna still found no response from inside, or for that matter any sign that her friend was even in there, she decided to take matters into her own hands. Testing the lock with her Gift, Alanna found that the man had indeed forgotten to spell it. She felt for the first time that morning a tiny amount of success. Thrusting her hand into the pocket of her breeches, Alanna dug out a tiny leather pouch that buttoned shut with a tiny silver button. She hastily unbuttoned it to reveal her set of lock picks that George had given her as a Midwinter gift years ago. Over the time she had had them in her possession, Alanna had found them to come in great use on many occasions.

        Alanna quickly pulled out a pick that seemed to be fitting for the type of lock used on Numair's door. She had used this same pick many times on other locks at the palace, and she assumed they were all the same for the most part. Her swift thinking proved lucky, for the lock soon clicked open, allowing her to easily turn the handle and let herself in.

        Once inside, Alanna let her eyes scan her friend's main chamber. Seeing nothing out of place, everything as it always was, Alanna knew that he probably had not run off with Daine. He was probably here somewhere, and she would find him. Instead of calling out, Alanna turned to check in his bed chamber, thinking that he must be sleeping at this early hour. For the time she had known Numair Salmalin, he had never been much of a morning person.

        Reaching a hand out, Alanna grasped the handle to his bed chamber, thinking in the back of her mind that she could hear movement and voices from within. She pushed that thought away, and opened the door. She gasped in surprise by what she saw, her arm dropping to her side slowly, as if frozen from shock. She stared on at the scene before her, mouth gaping open. For there on the bed before her lay Veralidaine Sarrasri and Numair Salmalin, both of the people she had been searching for.

        "By the Great Mother Goddess," Alanna voiced in little more than a whisper. She brought her hand up to rest at her lips, where she nervously bit her nail. What had she stumbled into?

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        Daine felt her heart stop suddenly when she heard a gasp coming from somewhere in Numair's bed chamber. Before she had even pulled out of Numair's grasp and opened her eyes, her mind raced wildly with horrifying conclusion. Not today, was all she could think, not on my last day here.

        Almost fearfully, Daine roughly pulled from Numair's grasp, just as he did the same. They each jerked their heads up to meet their intruder at the same moment, each receiving the same shock. "Alanna!" Daine all but screamed. Daine did not know who she had expected, but she most certainly had not expected the Lady Knight to be the one standing at the foot of Numair's bed. Looking at her friend, she saw that her mouth was gaping open, spare hand brought up to cover her lips. Her other hand was playing nervously with strands of her fiery red hair.

        Hearing Daine call out her name in surprise, Alanna crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eye brow at the two laying beneath the covers. From what Alanna could see, both Daine and Numair were clad in nothing but their undergarments, a sight she thought she would never see. Alanna cleared her throat, foot tapping impatiently against the hard wood floor. Her two friends looked positively horrified, and she did not have to wonder why.

        Alanna watched in amusement as Numair opened his mouth, attempting to speak. No words came out though, only barely audible choking sounds. Unable to help herself, she broke her stern demeanor and let a smile stretch across her features. Letting out a small chuckle, she shook her head in amusement at the two, letting her eyes travel away from them and to the floor. It was during the time that Alanna was studying the wood grain in the floor that someone finally found the courage to speak up.

        "I'm fair certain you'd like an explanation now?" Daine spoke, voice shaking slightly. Looking into the younger woman's blue gray eyes, the Lioness could see clearly just how hard Daine was trying to be sure of herself as she spoke. Alanna had to give her friend credit for that, for she could not imagine herself being so brave in a situation like this.

        Again, Alanna emitted a light chuckle of amusement, shaking her head. She looked from Daine to Numair, thinking to herself how perfect the picture seemed, no matter how odd. "No, Daine, its quite clear, actually," Alanna said, voice alive with laughter. Suddenly, and to everyone's surprise, Alanna's laughter faded, her grin replaced with a frown. "But.....this means...." She let her sentence hang, eyes suddenly filled with disappointment. From the look both of her friends gave her, they fully understood what she had meant to say, though she had not bothered to voice it.

        Daine's eyes fell downward, focusing on the ruffles and folds of the blankets that concealed herself and her lover. She bit her lip, once again letting herself remember what had gotten herself in this position in the first place. She was leaving today and that was why disappointment and pity shone clearly in her friend's eyes. "Daine, Numair, I'm so sorry for the both of you!" Alanna said, eyes grief stricken. The lady knight seemed unable to contain herself any longer.

        Neither Daine nor Numair would look up to meet Alanna's gaze. They didn't want to face her, or anyone else; not today. Alanna noticed their reaction to her immediately, and she did not speak another word, not knowing what to do or say. Finally, Numair spoke up, speaking for the first time since Alanna's surprise arrival. "Alanna, what is it you came for?" He asked, almost coldly. He did not want to be interrupted this morning, and though he knew he was being selfish, he could not help it. He felt oddly exposed just now, as if someone had invaded his privacy. He knew this had not been Alanna's intention, but he still felt slightly annoyed.

        Not missing the kind of emotion in his words for a moment, Alanna knew where she was not wanted and she did not hold it against her friend. In fact, she completely understood. "I went to talk to Daine, but when I didn't find her, I was afraid she'd run off," Alanna explained what had happened,"That's why I came to you, Numair. I figured you would have some idea of where Daine had run off to, and if you didn't, I already knew that you had a focus of her and that you could easily find her."

        This was news to both Daine and Numair. Neither had had the slightest notion that anyone knew about their new found relationship, and especially not the focus of Daine that Numair had in his possession. Daine had always assumed that she was the only one who knew it even existed. "But-what-how did you know?" Numair stuttered, completely baffled as to how the lady knight could have possibly known about his focus. He had gone to great lengths to keep it hidden, and it was a bit of a disappointment to find out now that he had failed and at least one person knew of his secret.

        "Do you remember that time that I was out of a certain herb I needed for one of my messes, and I asked you for it?" Alanna asked, wanting to make her explanation quick so that other matters could be settled. When Numair nodded, she continued, "Well, you sent me to your rooms, telling me where I could find it. I'm not saying that I was meddling in your affairs or anything of that sort, but can you guess what I found laying out on your desk?" Alanna gave him the most innocent look she could muster, still knowing that he would never fall for it.

        "You opened it?" Numair asked, the level of annoyance in his voice growing.

        "It would be against my nature to pass by a lover's token with a locket on it that I could easily open, thus revealing a man's true love," Alanna grinned at her own cleverness, feeling an urge to poke her tongue out at her friend, but containing herself because of the present circumstances.

        Numair sighed, bringing his arms up to rest crossed against his chest. The blanket covering his body fell down far enough to confirm Alanna's suspicions as to the lack of clothing on her two friends. Alanna could tell that both her friends, or at least Numair, were slightly annoyed with her presence. She could not blame them, knowing that if she herself were going through the same thing, she would want her privacy with her George.

        "What was it you wanted to talk to me about, Alanna?" Daine asked hurriedly, wanting to get whatever it was over with.

Alanna noticed this immediately, and chose her words carefully before answering. She did not wish to break the two of them up just now, during the last time they would see each other for a long while or maybe the last all together. "Oh, its nothing, Daine," Alanna assured her friend. Alanna wanted Daine to stay right where she was, with Numair, until it was time for her to go. Taking a breath, she continued, "Nothing that can't wait until later." Alanna had intentionally not mentioned what 'later' meant. She knew it was not something Daine wanted to hear about right now. "I'll be seeing the two of you then." Alanna added, once again not mentioning when or why she would see them. She let her lips twist into a quick smile just before she turned around and hastily made her way out of Numair's bed chamber. She felt more than a little awkward just now, not wanting to ponder what she had just waltzed in on.

        She was happy for the two of them yes; finding strong and unbreakable love was a wonderful feat. Alanna ought to know by now, for she had found it years ago with a handsome thief of the Rogue. Alanna was also sad for her friends. They may have found love, but in a time like this it was a curse. Circumstance would tear them apart, and there was nothing either of them could do about it. It made Alanna wonder if it would have been better if they had never even fallen in love to begin with. It was then that a century old saying played like music in her mind, 'it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.'

***All of the moments that already passed

We'll try to go back and make them last

All of the things we want each other to be

We never will be

And that's wonderful, and that's life

And that's you, baby

This is me, baby

And we are, we are, we are, we are

Free

In our love

We are free in our love***

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        Daine still lay on Numair's bed, body sprawled out under the covers. She was in a state of shock, to be truthful. She had thought nothing could add to the chaos of this morning, but once again she had been proved wrong. Alanna walking in on her mere moments ago had not been something in her plans. In fact, if she could turn back time, that would be something she would want to prevent. It was too late for that now, the deed was done.

        Still unable to fully comprehend her morning so far, Daine shook her head, already red eyes welling up with tears. What did the gods think she was made of, to be able to stand all of the things they continuously threw at her? Since the day she was born, they had had it out for her. They had known all of what would happen to her, and they had made no move to prevent it, just as they offered her no help now. Not only had they known of the horrible events in store for Daine in her future, since her birth, but they had known of her great achievements as well. They had known of the good she would do for Tortall, and the lives she would change forever. It was because of their all-knowing nature, that disgusted Daine just now. If they had known it all, then surely they could have changed it. They were the all-powerful gods which mortals, even the most Gifted ones, worshiped everyday. If they were as great as they demanded mortals give them credit for being, then they had the power to help her now. Why hadn't they? She had prayed, by the gods she had prayed. They had heard her, of that much she knew. How could they not, given the fact that her own parents were minor gods themselves!?

        Out of all the emotions that swirled through Daine's body and mind in this moment, the one she felt most was betrayal. She felt forsaken by the gods, the very beings who had so delicately created her. Were they truly so just of creatures as they portrayed themselves to be? Daine had to ask herself that now, for circumstances brought her to it.

        Without a word, Daine threw the covers roughly off of her body, exposing herself to the crisp morning air. Goose bumps immediately covered her bare skin, making her shiver slightly. She paid no attention as to whether or not Numair watched her in curiosity or question. Just now, she had to do what she had to do with no one to stop her. She could not afford any distractions.

        As soon as her bare feet made contact with the hard wood floor of Numair's bed chamber, a chill went rapidly up her spine. She gave herself no time to adjust, knowing that if she gave herself any unnecessary time, she would simply flop back into bed next to Numair, and never again attempt to rise. Any other morning, Daine would not have paid any attention to these simple acts, but not this morning. This morning was by no means a normal one, and she must treat it as such.

        Having risen to her feet, Daine quickly scurried across the icy floor, walking fast on the tips of her toes to block out the cold surface of the floor. It was after she had made it to the privy that she realized that all she had worn the night before when she came back to Numair's rooms with him had been her ball gown. She couldn't very well dress in that for traveling (she chilled at the thought).

        Sighing, Daine walked back into Numair's bed chamber. She found him sitting on the edge of his bed, clad only in his loin cloth. Upon entering, she felt and saw immediately his eyes on her. When she looked at him, he forced half a smile. He watched her with interest, eyes filled with a sort of longing that Daine saw right away. She stepped closer to where he sat, until she stood little more than a foot before him. He looked up, for a change, into her blue gray eyes, letting his own linger. "I don't have any of my clothes here," Daine said without much emotion. Her eyes were stone cold, but deep within them, Numair could find the person he knew and loved. He could see her true self behind her icy mask, and he could see that she was screaming with a mix of emotions. He didn't blame her for her coldness. He himself was bitter about everything. "I'd best shape shift and fly to my rooms and dress myself."

        Numair nodded, running a hand nervously through his unruly raven black hair. Snapping his head up to look at his love once more, "What shall I do with your gown?" Numair inquired, looking suddenly to the floor at the side of his bed where the blue gray gown had been carelessly strewn the night before.

        "Keep it here," Daine said quickly, eyes thoughtful, " I won't be needing it anymore. Hide it along with my under garments." For a moment it looked as if he had not quite understood the meaning of her last statement, but then his eyes lit briefly with recognition. When she shifted into bird form, all clothing she wore aside from her badger claw necklace would fall to the floor in the spot she had been previously standing.

        Closing the distance between them, Daine hastily kissed his lips, pulling away before he had enough time to properly respond and kiss her back. Briefly, Daine let her lips curl into a smile, just before she found herself concentrating on the features of a golden eagle. Soon, arms turned to wings, mouth into beak, feet into talons, and skin to feathers as she took on its form. As soon as her body was in a completely shifted form, her under garments dropped to the floor where she had once stood. She stopped, hovering in mid air, and immediately soared in a small circle around the room, making her way out of the bed chamber window and into the outside air.

***Then I see you standing there

Wanting more from me

And all I can do is try

Then I see you standing there

Wanting more from me

And all I can do is try***



        Daine soared over the air currents of the morning Tortallan sky, feeling spurts of wind ruffling her feathers as she flew. Her room was not far from Numair's, being that she had recently moved into the Mage's Wing of the palace. For her first two years in Tortall, Daine had taken up residence in the Rider barracks. She had found the inside rooms of the palace halls much more to her taste; the only fall back being she was farther from the People.

        She soon found herself sitting on the ledge of the balcony of her room. She flew up to the door that led to the balcony, and undid the brass latch with her beak. She had always left this door unlocked, merely latched shut, for this purpose of gaining entrance to her rooms in bird form. Once safely inside where no one could stray a glance at her, she shifted back into her human form, landing naked on the cold wood floor of her main chambers. Daine quickly scrambled to her feet, not at all liking the feel of the cold wood floor on her bare skin. She quickly made her way into her bed chamber, the door clicking shut softly behind her.

        Everything in Daine's rooms was already packed, save one set of clothing laid out on her bed to wear today. It was a plain set of work breeches and a white cotton shirt. Both shirt and breeches had dark spots from old stains, not to mention various holes from her line of work. She picked them up off the bed and stepped behind her dressing screen to dress herself. On her way she stopped at her dresser and pulled out a loincloth and breastband. Once dressed, Daine stepped back into her bed chamber from behind her dressing screen and went to her water basin to splash water on her face. The bed, bare of its sheets, blankets, pillows, and other trimmings, was all that was left in her room aside from this pale blue porcelain water basin. Neither of those items belonged to her, but to King Jonathan for his guests. Upon moving into this room from the Rider barracks, Daine had been provided with an oak wood bed and feather mattress that always stayed in this room, along with needed furnishings and a water basin. Everything else that had decorated Daine's walls and room, was all packed for they were Daine's personal belongings.

        Just as Daine moved to her tiny hair dresser's table to begin running a comb through her unruly mass of curls, a firm knocking could be heard coming from the front door of her main chambers. Feeling a pit begin to build up in her stomach, along with a knot in her throat, Daine did not want to answer the door. She did not even care if it was Numair, for just now she was lost in her own world, and saying good-bye to everything in her own way.

        Knowing that she had to do things against her will, Daine set down her brush and exited her bed chamber, heading into her main chambers. She hastily answered the door to find not Numair, as she had expected, but Alanna standing before her. Thinking that Alanna had come to talk to her about the event that had occurred within the last hour, Daine offered for Alanna to come inside, "Come in, Alanna," Daine said nervously, moving out of the doorway for her friend to enter. During these short few seconds, Daine felt as if she were being judged, and she did not like such a feeling.

        "No, Daine, I can't," Alanna said, eyes sorrowful. She really did regret what she was about to say to her friend. "The Gallans have arrived much sooner than we had all anticipated, and your expected to come to meet them."

        Alanna's grave news had an immediate reaction on Daine. She gasped suddenly, drawing her hand quickly up to her mouth. She felt her heart suddenly beating faster, and she felt distinctly as if she could no longer breath. Unable to hold back a faint any longer, Daine let herself fall ungracefully to the hard wood floor beneath her. Once she was on the ground, she drew her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her knees and squeezing tightly. Alanna, having taught Daine this trick, knew immediately what the young woman was doing. She was attempting to hold off a faint.

        Immediately Alanna was stooping down onto the floor next to Daine, taking the young woman in her arms. "Shhhhh," Alanna whispered in her friend's ear, hoping to soothe her, "You'll be all right, Daine." Alanna hated to think about the huge emotional step Daine had taken with Numair on the night before she was to leave. Though Alanna fully agreed with her two friends as a couple, she did not think it was such a wise idea for them to make love for the first time when they did. Daine would have a hard enough time leaving as it is, without this new load of feelings, physically and emotionally. It all seemed to be too much, but if only she knew the half of it. There were things that even she didn't know, but only Daine and Numair knew what had truly happened.

        "No, I won't!" Daine found the pressure this morning had brought suddenly becoming too heavy for her to bear. She wanted to run away, far away, and never come back. She would do anything, if it meant she did not have to return to Galla today. "But it doesn't matter, because I have to do this; I have to, Alanna. Its not as if I ever truly had a choice. Everyone in this entire gods blessed kingdom knows what I would do for the sake of Tortall!"

        "I know, Daine, I know," Alanna tried to stay calm, but she felt the unfairness of this whole situation begin to possess her entire being. Anger coursed through her veins, spreading like wildfire. She had never been one who could easily control her temper, and now was definitely no exception. "And I'm proud of you for being so strong right now. I'm not sure I could find the strength to do what you're doing now."

        Daine was stunned. Had her hero and good friend, the infamous Lioness and King's Champion just said what she thought she had said? It couldn't be that she had, could it? How could it be that she, Veralidaine Sarrasri, a basterd girl from a small village in Galla, could gain such a compliment from such a woman as the one that stood before her? Alanna was a living legend, one that would be remembered for generations to come. The legacy of the Lioness would be recorded in history, and would never be forgotten by any, of that Daine was sure. How was it that such a woman could claim that Daine herself, could do something she could not?

        "You don't know what that means to me, Alanna," Daine said feebly through her tears.

        "I do know, Daine, but now we've got to get a move on," Alanna said, reaching out a gentle hand to help the younger woman back to her feet. Daine felt quite a bit more reassurance by this point. "The sooner we get down there, the more time you'll get to spend saying your farewells."

        At the word 'farewell,' a mental picture of Numair filled her mind. She felt a horrible pang of guilt rise up in her heart, but she put it aside for later. She had not the time for such things right now. Swallowing up all of her pride and feelings of sorrow, Daine held her head high, stood to her feet with the help of Alanna, and walked swiftly out of her rooms. She did not bother to glance back. She did not think that she could keep going at this pace if she did glance back. She loved this place that much, and letting go of it would surely be a difficult task.

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        Daine and Alanna had made it down to the main hall of the palace in a matter of minutes, having the knowledge of the palace hallways as if a map were forever written on the back of their hands. Daine looked over to her right at the older woman who walked beside her. Alanna had been her friend for all of the four years she had spent in Tortall, and for that she was grateful. She could think of many times that had the Lioness not been her friend, she may not have been able to make it through. Yes, the King's Champion would be a forever loyal friend to Daine, even if today was indeed the last day she would see her friend.

        As Daine walked into the main hall at Alanna's side, her eyes scanned the room. She saw all of her friends, and acquaintances that she had gained upon coming to Tortall. Some of the men and women in front of her had been close to her from the very beginning, whereas others had become her friends over time. They all meant a great deal to her; much more than she would care to admit, though she knew it was true without a doubt.

        Standing before her, near the back of the crowd, Daine saw the young man, Evin Larse. Evin had been one of her first friends in Tortall. She had met him in the Mess Hall, where he had pulled a dinner roll from behind her ear. She watched him now as he stood clad in his dirty work clothes, having not had the time to change since he had been up since the first bell with the other Riders.

        Next to Evin, Daine saw another of her close friends of the Riders. Miri, like Evin, had befriended Daine in the beginning, making her one of Daine's closest friends in all of Tortall. Daine loved the young woman dearly, and would always remember her. Miri too was clad in her work clothes, caked with dirt from her morning's work. Daine preferred it this way though, so she could remember the Riders as she had always known them, covered in dirt.

        There were too many people standing before her now for Daine to mentally think of how she knew each of them. She saw Sarge, Onua, Alanna, King Jonathan, Queen Thayet, Neal, everybody had come to see her off, and she was grateful. Daine had not fully known just how many people she was loved by. She would be sure to remember each of them forever, cherishing their memory. Daine looked at Sarge, and in the back of her mind she could hear his booming voice, which she was sure could only be matched by Mithros himself. She saw Onua, and she could see the older woman standing before a fire pit she had dug, and arguing with Numair over how the camp barrier should be put up. When she looked at Miri, she saw the young woman offering to take Daine's lessons with Numair, and saying that she thought he was cute. Looking at King Jonathan, Daine could remember her first impression of him upon her first time seeing him. She had been captivated by his enchanting, clear blue eyes. When she saw Thayet, the memory of their first meeting flashed before her eyes. She saw her mistaking the queen for just an average woman in the Queen's Riders. Seeing Alanna, Daine remembered the older woman insisting in accompanying herself and Numair to his rooms, as a chaperone on their trip to Carthak. She could see Numair's flushed and embarrassed face at the mere suggestion of having the need of a chaperon to begin with. Daine had many memories here, and they all stood before her. She felt a tear fall down her cheek, and she made no move to wipe it away. She was too caught up in this moment to care that tears were now streaming down her face like rain.

Then her eyes fell on Numair and she felt her heart stop and her breath catch in her throat. Though he always had a way of standing out in the crowd as a result of his height, Daine had failed to notice him until this very moment. Perhaps this was because she did not want to see him. In her mind, she did not want to see him ever again. She wanted to forget him, so that this raging pain in her heart, mind, body and soul would fade along with her memory of him and would hurt her no more. She loved him, and it was her heart who begged her mind to give in to the pain, for it was worth it. The more Daine thought on it, the more her heart told her that no matter how much it hurt her, the time she had had with Numair was well worth it and that if she could do it all again, she would never dream of changing a thing. There still was, however, a tiny voice in the back of her mind that told her how much better she would be feeling right now, and maybe for the rest of her life, if that was how long she would be apart from him, if she had never even met him.

Seeing him standing there in the middle of her crowd of friends, dressed in his usual white silk shirt and black breeches, made Daine feel an intense pull at her heart. She could see him standing before her, not moving, but simply staring at her and her alone. Since the moment she had entered the room, his eyes had been baring down upon her and her alone, not wavering in the slightest. When she would glance in his direction, it would seem as if he were not blinking, but simply staring. Finally, her eyes fell directly upon him, and she found herself unable to look away. Not knowing what else to do, she took a step forward to be closer to her friends. Her legs automatically moved in the direction of where Numair stood. Daine felt immediate temptation to reach out a hand to stroke his cheek, but knew how inappropriate that would look to all of the others around them.

***Then I see you standing there

Wanting more from me

And all I can do is try

Then I see you standing there

I'm all I'll ever be

But all I can do is try

Try***

Just as Daine was about to open her mouth to say something, she felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned around to find that the hand belonged to Miri. Her friend had tears in her eyes, and as Daine soon should out, she herself did as well. "I can't believe you're really leaving!" Miri cried out, throwing her arms around Daine's neck. Since Daine's back was now to Numair, she wondered what sort of expression he held now, because she was paying little attention to him.

"I can't either," Daine said calmly, tears streaming down her face. She had accepted all of this, but who knew how long this acceptation would last after she did not have her friends to comfort her any longer? How would things be when she was alone in Galla with no one to talk to aside from complete strangers?

"Horselords, I'll miss you, Daine!" Miri voiced miserably, still clinging tightly to Daine. The girl merely nodded in response, voice too choked to speak properly. Before she had entered this room she had promised herself that she would not shed a single tear, and here she was crying her eyes out.

"Here, here," came a familiar voice from beside Miri. Daine turned her head to see that Evin had come to join Miri in saying good-bye to Daine. She would miss them both dearly. "I'll miss you too, Daine," Evin added, sympathetic eyes baring down upon her. Though he was not crying, like Daine herself and Miri and some of the others present, he looked as if he felt the same way inside. It was hard for Daine to believe just how much she would be missed and by how many.

"I'll always remember the both of you, Evin, Miri," Daine managed to choke out through her tears. She was not entirely sure what else she could say to them just now. The only other time she had suddenly left home was a time when she wanted to leave desperately and had no one to say good-bye to or miss anyway.

Looking over her shoulder, Daine could see all of her friends; everyone she had ever loved. They were her life up until now. Looking at them now, knowing she would probably never see them again after today, made her eyes water with more unshed tears. She could not believe this was the end. When she had come to Tortall, she had never dreamed she would ever leave it. It had been the most wonderful place she could ever dream of living in. Now, like all dreams, this one had come to an end. It was time to go.

***I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness

And all the real people are really not real at all

The more I learn the more I cry

As I say good-bye to the way of life

I thought I had designed for me***



As Daine turned away from her friends and shifted her head to look at Numair, she felt her courage beginning to slip. How was she going to go through with this? She had faced immortals, monster's of the most terrible kind. She had faced off what to most people would be their worst fears. But now, she could not even face her own fate. This tiny little deed, she could not complete. But yet she had no choice in the matter. She had to do it, or die trying. She was a heroine of Tortall, and she would not abandon it now for her own childish fears. She would do what was expected of her, and what was needed of her. She just wished that it could be some other way, through some other deed that she could be saving the country that she loved now.

Suddenly, Daine felt a gentle hand upon her shoulder. It was only then that she noticed that Numair had come to join her at her side. She had not even seen him approach, for she had been too far lost in her thoughts and her mind. Daine felt herself jump slightly when the feeling of his breath against the side of her neck could be clearly felt as he bent down to whisper into her ear. "Daine," Numair whispered, a hint of fear and trembling in his voice, "Follow me." Before he had finished these last two words, Daine knew for certain that he was afraid. Always, Daine had thought that she would never live to see the day when her long time friend could find any reason to fear, or to even express such fears if he ever did feel them. It was only now that she truly realized, that of course he feared, for he was every bit as much of a human as she. Fear was a natural human emotion, so he must feel it.

Nodding her head in regard to her lover's request, Daine quietly followed. Looking both ways as she walked briskly behind her companion, Daine could see that none of the eyes of her gathered friends fell on her now. They were all deep in discussion, conversing nervously with one another. Daine was actually grateful that she had escaped their minds for the time being. She wanted to properly say good-bye to her lover, without all eyes on her.

She followed Numair as he led her into a vacant hallway that connected to the room that they had just been in with all of Daine's friends. The shadows consumed them now, hiding them from the peering eyes of anyone who might seek them. They were completely alone. Daine took this time to finally look up at her lanky lover, and really gaze into his eyes. In those depths, she saw many emotions, but clearly she saw both love and fear. Those emotions swirled effortlessly on the surface of his dark orbs, dancing this way and that. Daine wondered if so much of what she herself was feeling could be seen just by simply gazing into her blue gray eyes.

Without a moment's hesitation, Numair drew her roughly to his chest, enveloping her in a tight embrace. He fingered her back longingly with his hands, and felt shivers run rapidly up his spine as she did the same for him. He could feel his heart pounding mercilessly within his chest, a thunder rushing through his heart and mind. He did not by any means want to let go of the figure that lay limply in his arms. For her sake and for his, he did not want to let go. Just as Daine had to take a step of utmost courage today, Numair did as well. Daine would have to leave her home and the friends she had grown to love behind and return to a place she loathed and feared. Numair though, he would have to watch her do it. He would have to watch and do nothing as the person he loved most, and was always so protective of went through more pain than he himself could bear. He would have to let her go as he watched her ride away today, disappearing over the horizon. Yes, he too had to take an enormous step today. But he would do it. What other choice did he have?

***Then I see you standing there

Wanting more from me

And all I can do is try

Then I see you standing there

I'm all I'll ever be

But all I can do is try

Try***

From the next room, Numair could hear the sound of excited mumbling and chatter. He knew what it had to be, and his heart fluttered helplessly with a pang of fear. The Gallans had likely arrived. He had to say good-bye now, and he was in no way ready. Feeling rushed, Numair lifted a hand to Daine's face. With trembling hands, Numair lifted her chin so that she was looking up at him. She looked so timid and afraid just now, that it broke his heart. He never wanted to see her look at him like that again, not ever. He felt a sudden urge, and he quelled it by bringing his lips roughly down to meet her own. He kissed her with a passionate desire, filled with hunger and longing such that he had never known. Despite his efforts to hold them back, tears began streaming steadily down his face. He had not cried so freely in a very long time. He would often shed a tear or two, but this was different. Numair felt as if his heart was being ground to dust when she kissed him back and an intensity that only matched his own. Reaching up his spare hand, he moved it to the back of her head where he entangled it in her mass of smoky brown curls. He pressed her head closer still to his own, pulling her further into their kiss. She moaned in response, finding that now she herself had tears rolling down her cheeks.

The two lovers broke away for air only once. They cherished any contact that they might have just now, knowing that since the Gallans have arrived, this will be their last. Finally though, realizing that they had to talk and sort things out, they broke apart. They each looked into the other's eyes, captivated by what they saw. " I don't want to say good-bye," Daine voiced through her tears, eyes pleading with him to make things right. For once though, he was incapable of saving her. He did not by any means like that feeling of helplessness.

"I don't ever want to say good-bye too you either, magelet," Numair's voice shook from crying. Looking at him now, Daine found herself surprised that he had broken down in tears. She could not remember a time since she had met him that she had seen him crying so fully and openly. This frightened her more than she cared to admit. Gods, what wouldn't she give to get her life back?

"Will you promise to write me?" Daine asked him, reaching out a tender hand to wipe the tears from his eyes. Her efforts were in vein, for he did not cease.

"Of course," Numair assured her, stroking her cheek lovingly with his spare hand. Daine noted that his fingers shook terribly, his entire lanky form was trembling now. She felt so vulnerable at the sight of her long time friend in such a mess of emotions. It was such a foreign sight to her, and it would stick in her memory forever, seeing him like this. More than anything, she just wanted it all to go away. She wanted him to return to being the cheerful, boyish mage she knew so well and had come to love so dearly. "And you'll write too?"

Not trusting herself to speak, Daine merely nodded. She leaned into his form, burying her face in his chest, seeking comfort. He held her to him tightly, protectively. She knew though, as did he, that he could not protect her from what she would face today. Neither of them liked that idea in the slightest. "Good-bye, Numair," Daine choked out in a cracked whisper. Her voice was filled with tears, and at her words she could feel her lover's hold only tighten around her.

In response to her words, her heartbreaking words, Numair tilted her chin up so that she was looking directly into his eyes, and he opened his mouth to say the words he so desperately needed to say, but he couldn't do it. Again he tried, but the words would not come. Gods give me strength, he voiced a silent prayer in his mind. "Go-no, no, "Numair tried again to say the words, but then he realized that even with the help of the gods he could never do it. Instead, he would have to say something else, something that he knew might never happen no matter how hard he tried to make it pan out that way, "What's the use of good-byes? I'll be seeing you again, soon, so why should I make this sad?"

Daine looked up at her lover in disbelief. She wanted so desperately to believe him, but how could she when today, everything she had believed in was being stripped away from her? She continued to stare at him, not knowing really how to respond. She just wished that he would say those words for her now, to let her know that he was all right, if not for any other reason. Even if he did not mean it, she wished he would just say it. But she knew that he wouldn't. "I wish I could believe you," She said, forcing a small smile at the corner of her mouth. With that said, Daine stood on the tips of her toes and drew his face back down to her own. She eased her lips over his, letting all of her thoughts and emotions and love pour into that kiss. She knew it would be her last that she gave him now, and she wanted it to leave its mark forever.

***All of the moments that already passed

We'll try to go back and make them last

All of the things we want each other to be

We never will be

And that's wonderful, and that's life

And that's you, baby

This is me, baby

And we are, we are, we are, we are

Free

In our love

We are free in our love***

Releasing herself from the arms of her lover, Daine took a step back from Numair. She looked back at him only briefly before turning on her heal and making her way back into the main room where her friends were gathered. She was faintly aware of the sound of footsteps coming from behind her, so she knew that her lover was mimicking her actions. They soon reached the main room once more, this time to find that the attention was once again on Daine. Immediately, both Daine and Numair noticed the new additions to the room, for their presence was so demanding. Up near the front talking to Alanna stood a tall, fully armored knight. He had a very full form, looking to be very strong and broad shouldered. He had a mass of curly black hair atop his head, but no facial hair that covered his tanned skin. To Daine, he did not look Gallan, but Tyran. She cringed when she saw Alanna waving her hand towards her, motioning for her to approach.

Daine did as she was told and walked briskly over to where Alanna stood, leaving Numair behind all together as he slowly approached the front of the crowd. Looking over and into the eyes of the older woman, Daine found that Alanna looked back at her with eyes filled with sympathy. Daine turned to face the new man, finding he looked down on her with not sympathy, or even the slightest amount of kindness. Daine could tell immediately that this was indeed a hard man that stood before her.

After what felt to Daine like an eternity, Alanna finally spoke up. Daine wondered what Numair was thinking as he watched all of this. What did he think of the dark man? "Daine, this is Sir Donovan of Bertram," Alanna said, motioning towards the knight. At this gesture, the knight nodded his head slightly, a sort of bow. "He is to be the one sent by King Jarlath to transport you to Galla."

Daine had to admit, those words stung more than she could imagine they would. Everything that she had tried to imagine over the past few weeks was suddenly very real. It was not a reality that she liked in the slightest, but it was one she had to face. Though Daine knew that the polite response to this knight would be to bow to him in return, she could not bring herself to do so. Instead, she just stood without moving a muscle, staring intently at him. The man, Donovan they called him, looked back at her equally as hard, as if in a silent challenge. His face held a look of utmost distaste, and that disgusted Daine. The least her captors could do was be kind to her, for they were stripping her from the home she knew and loved. But Daine knew by now that life and all that was in it was unfair, so kindness in a situation like this was too much to even hope for.

Finally, the man broke his gaze away from Daine and moved it to no one in general. It was then though that Daine noticed that his eyes fell upon Numair. Donovan looked at the lanky mage with a look of what appeared to be interest, though not a healthy one. Daine looked into the eyes of the dark knight, and tried silently to read his eyes. She found them to be emotionless, revealing nothing to her. Daine had never met a single person in all of her life that had managed to be so stern and so hard that they were capable of barring their emotions and closing the windows their eyes provided. She could not help but wonder what the knight could have gone through and what kind of person he could be to have achieved something so cruel. "We must make haste in leaving, Lady Sarrasri, " Donovan barked sternly, voice void of any emotion. Daine noticed that his eyes still bore down on Numair, who was now glaring back with a look to kill. She watched the two men, observing their silent battle, bloodless battle. "The journey back to the capital is a long one, and his Majesty is not one to be known for his patience, nor am I."

"The hostlers have prepared Daine's mount and her belongings," Alanna replied, knowing well that Daine did not want to speak just now. Alanna had of course been right, and Daine was thankful that she had a friend that knew her so well without her having voiced any sort of discomfort of the situation.

"The mount shall stay," Donovan replied firmly, voice cold as steel. There was now an odd glint in his eyes, as if he knew that these words would further break Daine's heart. Upon hearing them, Daine took in a sharp breath, eyes shining as if she might protest. She could never leave Cloud behind! Cloud was her family, and the only friend that would be able to accompany her to her new home. Out of everyone in all of Tortall, man or beast, Cloud was the one Daine had known the longest. She loved Cloud dearly, and could not imagine making this trip without her.

"I'd prefer she came," Daine's voice was every bit as firm as Donovan's, though she knew well that she shook with fear on the inside. Donovan's eyes snapped immediately towards her. His eyes held a look that would melt solid rock, and Daine found herself swallowing hard. "His Majesty would not approve of such a waste of horse flesh residing in his stables. The beast stays." At this last stern, cold, statement, Daine could have sworn she saw a smirk playing at the edge of Donovan's mouth. It made her blood boil.

Just as Daine opened her mouth to reply hastily to this man to watch himself, Alanna stepped roughly on her foot, causing her to recoil back a step in pain. In this time, Alanna herself spoke up in Daine's stead, "Are you certain, Sir Donovan, that there is no possible way that Daine's horse may accompany her?" Alanna asked, voice entirely polite. Daine could sense the edge in Alanna's tone however, though she was certain Donovan could not. Anyone who had known Alanna for as long and as well as Daine did would know that the Lioness was incapable of not having some sort of harsh thought towards a man such as Donovan, especially under the circumstances. Daine just hoped that the lady knight's temper would stay in rein. For that matter, she hoped that she would be able to keep her own in check. The Lioness was not the only one who was known for her temper.

"If I had any doubts in my order, lady knight, then I would not have given it," Donovan spat, raising his voice as he said the words 'lady knight.' Daine saw Alanna's eyes grow wide, and she could see that the older woman's hold on her temper was slipping rapidly. "If there are no further interruptions, then it would please me to leave."

Alanna turned to Daine, her eyes searching the young woman. Daine did not know what the older woman was looking for, or how it could possibly help now, but in that moment she let everything that she was feeling show clearly in her eyes. She felt so vulnerable in that moment, but she wanted for her friend to understand. Alanna gazed intently at her, almost unrelenting. Finally though, she broke away. "Follow me, Daine, Sir Donovan," Alanna said finally, voice holding what appeared to be annoyance. Daine was glad that she did not have to see the Lioness confront Donovan everyday.

***All I know

Is everything is not as it's sold

but the more I grow the less I know

And I have lived so many lives

Though I'm not old

And the more I see, the less I grow

The fewer the seeds the more I sow***

As they filed out of the oak wood doors that led to the palace grounds, Daine could subconsciously see Numair following closely behind. She could not help but wonder why he had not come close, if not to be near her, but at least to inspect who would be taking her away. Perhaps he did not want to know. Perhaps he was afraid. There were many possibilities, and Daine was in no mood to ponder them all, so she just let the thought pass. As they walked though, she began to move her way over to Alanna, and put a hand on the older woman's arm, signaling her to fall back a ways and let Donovan take the lead. The lady knight nodded, doing as Daine requested, though Daine could see a slight annoyance in the woman's features that said that she did not like letting this dark knight get anything over her. Daine understood. "Alanna, " Daine whispered frantically into her friend's ear, "I can't leave Cloud behind!" Daine hissed, making her point clear.

Alanna paused for a moment, sighing before responding to Daine's plea. "I know Daine, and I fully understand your reasoning, but I don't think there's anything you can do about it," Alanna replied honestly. She hated to admit being helpless, but what other choice did she have? Donovan seemed firm in his decision to not allow Cloud to accompany Daine, and he would surely stick to it.

"Isn't there anything you can do?" Daine's voice pleaded with Alanna to help her, but Alanna just didn't see how she could. It seemed to be an impossible situation.

"No, Daine, I don't think there is," Alanna replied sadly, giving her friend a look of utmost pity. She hated to see all of this happen to Daine, and thought unrelentingly of how unfair it all was. "All I can do is promise you that I'll personally see to it that she's taken care of here."

"I can't leave without her, Alanna," Daine voiced stubbornly. She couldn't leave without Cloud. She couldn't, and she wouldn't! "She's family!"

"Daine, I know you don't want to hear this right now, but you'll hear it anyway. Life is a fickle thing. Nothing that goes on in life is predictable, and this entire situation proves that. None of us can help what's happening now, and I'm sorry, but you've got to be brave and take it head on. I don't know anything better to tell you now than that," with her speech made, Alanna felt better. She had thought a lot about what was happening to Daine, and this was the conclusion she had come to. She wanted Daine to know it too.

Daine merely sighed, feeling her eyes begin to burn with tears. The walk they were taking to the stables seemed to go on forever. It was like a death sentence to Daine, like the walk of the condemned to the gallows. Gods, she wished it would end and she could get this all over with. Finally, they reached the stables to find Cloud saddled up and ready for the journey, waiting for her rider. Daine's heart split at the sight of her friend whom she couldn't take along. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair. All of Daine's belongings were packed in the boxes and bags that sat at Cloud's feet. Daine watched as Donovan signaled for some of the other lesser Gallans to gather it up and load it into one of the carts they had brought along. They jumped at his barked order, and immediately began loading. Donovan then turned to Stefan, who stood next to Cloud, "Unsaddle this beast," he barked the order to Stefan, expecting the man to jump at his orders. Stefan would not move a muscle.

"This pony belongs to Lady Daine, sir, and she is to be taking all of her things with her," Stefan replied firmly, voice calm. Daine had to admire the hostler just then. He had such an air about him just now that she would not care to cross him.

"I will not have that beast setting foot in my king's stable," Donovan replied, his tone sharper than a double-edged sword. He stuck his nose high in the air as he spoke these words to Stefan. The look on his face said it all. He showed distaste to someone with such a low position as hostler to even daring to speak a challenging word to him. "Mind you, watch your tongue, hostler." The entire time, his posture, tone, and expression remained completely calm.

When Daine expected Stefan to bite back with a vocal defense, a new voice split the air. This voice was all too familiar to her. "Daine will not be leaving without Cloud," the voice belonged to none other than Numair. As he spoke, he advanced towards where Donovan, Daine and Alanna stood. His eyes darted only briefly to Daine, but then he turned his entire attention to Donovan. "Either you swallow your pride, and allow Daine to take her pony, or Daine will not be going at all."

Numair's voice was firm, his challenge made. A series of gasps and hushed whispers rose up from the crowd who stood nearby. No one could believe what the realm's greatest mage had just done. Daine herself could not believe it. Numair stood directly before Donovan now, eyes bearing down upon the dark knight in a silent challenge. Finally, Donovan answered Numair's challenge. He chuckled heartily, as if in some sort of amusement. He nodded his head as he looked Numair over from foot to head. Then, he spoke. "The moment I set eyes on you in the crowd, I knew you'd be trouble," Donovan mused, still lightly chuckling. Daine had to admit she was surprised. She hadn't imagined that this cold man was capable of any sort of emotion. "That has always been a gift of mine. Always, when I see a man, I know if he will cause me any trouble. In a crowd, I can pick out which man will challenge me. It does not change the foolishness of your act, mage. The beast stays, and there isn't anything you can do to make that any different. You'd best not even try."

Again, Numair let his eyes bear down on the man. Though it looked as if he was going to continue to fight through words, Daine knew better. Numair was losing the hold he had on his actions, and it was only a matter of time before he let Donovan have it. She did not have to wait long.

In an instant, Numair had run towards the dark knight. Donovan was taken by surprise, and when Numair's body collided roughly with his own, he lost his footing and fell to the ground. Numair pressed him firmly to the ground, letting his fists fly wildly into the air and coming swiftly back down upon the man. His first punch landed on Donovan's jaw, causing the man to moan slightly, and his second on Donovan's right eye. He never landed his third. Being a knight, Donovan had learned to master swift tactics of fighting. Numair was a mage that relied on magic, and didn't stand a chance against him in a physical brawl such as this. Immediately, Donovan grabbed Numair's fist and directed it away from its target. It hit the ground, causing Numair to recoil in sudden pain. He did not have time to recover, for Donovan was on him instantly. The knight landed a hard punch against Numair's face, knocking the mage backwards and onto the ground. Blood immediately began dripping from this newly formed would.

Faintly, Numair could hear Daine crying his name in the distance, but the blood pounding in his mind clouded out all other sounds. All there was now was the knight who was advancing upon him. In this moment, Numair forgot his Gift, and thus did not think to use it. Had he not been so careless, he would have stood a much better chance. Donovan landed a punch in Numair's side, and then stood up to begin kicking him. That was when Daine ran forward, darting immediately between the two men. She through herself on top her secret lover, guarding him from the oncoming blow. Donovan's kick had been aimed for Numair, but instead it landed swiftly against Daine's side. She cried out from the sudden pain, recoiling back and rolling off of Numair. "No!" Numair yelled out in frustration, not wanting his love to get hurt.

***Then I see you standing there

Wanting more from me

And all I can do is try

Then I see you standing there

I'm all I'll ever be

But all I can do is try

Try***

In the time that Daine had moved inbetween the two men, Stefan the groomsman and a nearby stable hand had managed to grab Numair by the arms and pull him away, holding him tightly so that he would not try to get away and again attack the knight. Their quick actions paid off, for the fight was stopped. Immediately Numair looked down towards his young love as she stood to her feet, rubbing her side tenderly where she had been kicked. Donovan was clad in heavy knight's boots, and it was bound to hurt to be kicked by them. When Stefan saw that Numair's attention had then turned to Daine, he and the stable boy let Numair go.

Numair rushed immediately to her side, fighting the urge to take her into his arms and hold her tightly to his chest, even in front of all of these people. "Daine, are you all right," Numair whispered so that she alone could hear him once he reached her side.

"I'm fine, Numair," Daine assured him, continuing to rub her side. It was a lie though, she knew. She was not fine just now, and it was not because of her sore ribs.

Just as Numair was about to reply to his love, he watched as an arm gripped her shoulder tightly, turning her around to face the one who had interrupted. It was Donovan, and he looked livid with rage. "Get away from that mage!" Donovan hissed, his voice for the first time this day showing a heated emotion. He was angry, and to Daine he resembled a rabid bear. She did not dare say this aloud, however. She did not have time to follow through with Donovan's orders, for he was completing them for her. He began roughly pulling her away from Numair. The mage watched helplessly as this happened. He did not dare start another brawl, for he knew that Jonathan would be angry enough with him over the last one. Besides, what had it achieved?

"If there is nothing further to deal with, we shall be on our way," Donovan yelled to the crowd and everyone gathered. His voice was laced with a burning anger. Daine had a feeling this was not going to be a pleasant journey. "Lady Sarrasri, say your good-byes!"

Daine's eyes fell immediately to the grass covered ground. She seemed to be studying the print of her boots. Without bothering to lift her head, Daine said softly, "Good-bye to you all," Daine voiced sadly, a tear rolling down her cheek. She then lifted her head and continued, "I'll never stop missing all of you, or Tortall."

With that, she turned to look at her lover one last time. He stood there, gazing directly at her. The only thing that would break his gaze was when he had to blink. He seemed captivated by her form. Daine watched as tears began rolling down his cheeks. Her heart was breaking, but she had to turn away. Her body longed to go to him, to have him, but she had to let go. She had to turn her back on him, possibly forever. She had to leave now, most likely to never return. In her eyes, the life of Veralidaine Sarrasri was over. All that defined her had been stripped away. Who was she if she did not live in the country she had risked so much for, with the people she cared more for than herself. She already knew the answer to that. Now, she was nothing. Turning her back on Numair, on her friends, on her home and everything she loved, Daine turned and walked away. She followed Donovan to the awaiting caravan and took hold of the reins of the tall, bay colored knight's horse that awaited her. She blocked her wild magic immediately out of her mind. She was in no mood to converse with the People right now. In that last, swift step, Daine left behind everything she knew and loved. Most of all, Daine left behind her love. The life she had designed so perfectly for herself was gone forever, blowing away with the wind. Life as she knew it, was over.

***All of the moments that already passed

We'll try to go back and make them last

All of the things we want each other to be

We never will be

And that's wonderful, and that's life

And that's you, baby

This is me, baby

And we are, we are, we are, we are

Free

In our love

We are free in our love

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness

And all the real people are really not real at all

The more I learn the more I cry

As I say good-bye to the way of life

I thought I had designed for me***

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

A/N: Phew! *wipes sweat from forehead* I'm so glad I got that over with! This chapter has been weighing on me for a while, and I can easily say its the hardest one I've ever written....there is one coming up in my other fic that is possibly equally hard, but I'm not certain just yet. I hope you liked this chapter guys! I poured a lot into it, and it'd kill me if I didn't do a good job....PLEASE review, and give me your honest opinion! I'm at the point where it'll only hurt me if you hold back...if you don't like it, tell me so! PLEASE REVIEW WHETHER IT BE GOOD OR BAD!!! (also, I promise to get myself in gear and update more!!!) ^_^