Doom Witch

Author's Note: Hey peeplets. Fourth chapter up now. WOO! I'm on a roll. How many chapters have I put up? Loads! Woo! I rock! Hee. Read on and please review cos I like reading them . Oh, and hey! Person asking if this is a Zim/Gaz romance in the review, you'll just have to read on and find out . but I think I've maybe made that a little obvious??? Duh . You gotta problem you no read this thang, k man? No offence like, but I'm just experimenting with it. I can assure you, this story is NOT SAPPY. Ok? Ok. Cool.

- Chapter Four - Two masterplans, same thing -

The next morning, Dib was in a bad mood. Zim had LOOKED at his sister. Maybe Zim didn't realise it, but maybe living on Earth had had some kind of effect on him, and had just randomly had to stop and stare at a human. Maybe he was planning on killing Gaz, or fusing some kind of gopher - creature onto her head. Maybe .

Dib shook his head. Zim wouldn't dare, everyone was scared of Gaz. Or maybe he thought Gaz would be the key to Dib? Could it all be part of a big tangled plot in which Zim had trapped Gaz, or was planning to? Dib's masterplan would have to be carried out quickly.

Dib ran over to the locked chest with the voice recognition lock, and it swung open, whacking Dib in the head. He cursed, and bent over to take out the blueprints that held the key to his cunning plan. He looked at them, his pointy hair defying gravity and stayed pointing upwards when logic says it should tilt over.

Dib took them out and sat on his bed. The first one was a design for a cage that could be placed in Dib's room so he could keep an eye on Zim, and his father would never know, he never came into his room. Dib turned to the next one, which was a print of how to get Zim to reveal himself, and a gas that would disable him to break out of it. The design was perfect.

But there had to be a plan. Zim wasn't going to simply walk up to Dib's room and agree to walk into a glass box in the corner of the room. He had to have bait, and to do that, he would have to discover Zim's weakness .

The Almighty Tallest finished their juice with a slurp, and sent the servant off to get more for them. Red bit into a Space Taco, relishing the fact that they were his and not Zim's stupid robot's.

"Y'know, maybe we should have given Zim a malfunctioning robot," he thought aloud, jerking Purple's head, "It would have destroyed Zim."

"Are you saying that crazy taco - obsessed thing isn't malfunctioning?" Purple asked.

"I mean malfunctioning as in turn-on-master crazy." Red corrected.

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Anyway, we got the tacos."

"But are they as good as Earth's, d'you think?"

"Who cares?"

"Nyuh."

The servant brought another couple of drinks, and again the Tallest drained them, putting the empty glasses on the tray and sending him off again.

"Now," Purple began.

"What?" Red asked.

"I'm bored. Can we destroy something?" Purple whined.

"But you blew up a solar system yesterday!" Red said, and Purple's head drooped.

"Please?" he asked sweety, putting on his pathetic face.

"Not with the face! And no, you can't. Destroy a planet or something instead."

"AWW!"

"Hey, why don't we think up a plan to destroy Zim? That's always fun." Red suggested helpfully.

"Yeah but they never work! Zim always gets away somehow . maybe he's not as stupid . "

"DON'T SAY IT! DON'T!"

"Okay. Sorry." Purple apologised, and hung his head in shame.

"We could always play with lasers . "Red said quietly. Purple didn't hear him.

"What?" he asked.

"Lasers?" Red said, this time he put on "the face" himself.

Purple shivered. It was always very painful when Red wanted to play with lasers. He shook his head frantically, making Red laugh. The tiny Irken that came again with the drinks saw Purple shaking his head and thought he was having a fit.

"I'll save you, my Tallest!" he cried nobly, thinking he might be promoted. He threw the drinks over the head and at once Red's face turned to horror.

"Ha ha ha ha ha - aaaargh!'' Red shrieked and picked up the Irken, throwing him across the room, "What did you do that for, midget?"

The tiny Irken stood up shakily.

"I was . trying to save him, My Lord."

"YOU WASTED JUICE!" Red roared.

Purple stood behind him, trying to drink the remains of the juice that was all over him.

"I - I'm sorry, Sir!"

"BOW DOWN WHEN I'M YELLING AT YOU!"

"Yes, Sir!" the Irken bowed down. Red's face was quite scary, "Perhaps you want some lasers to cheer Your Tallness up?"

He saw Red's face flicker with temptation, but Purple began shaking his head again, and Red turned angry once more.

"You wasted juice," Red told him, "You wasted juice! GET ME MORE JUICE! Then I'll think about sparing your miserably small life."

"Y - yes, Sirs!" the servant stammered, and stumbled out of the room.

Red sat down on a chair, trying to calm down.

"Look, you'll get more juice in a minute . just hold on a little longer . " Purple begged, "I'm not ready for you to go yet!"

"What I really neeeed . "Red whinged.

"No lasers, Red," Purple warned.

"Ok . can we destroy Zim then?"

"Oh all RIGHT! Jeez . "

"Yay! We need a plan . "

Red motioned for Purple to sit down.

"Now, I have to visit my Grandma on Planet Moriara shortly, as you know. You're still coming with me, right?" he said. Purple nodded his head.

"Of course!" he cried, "I love your Grandma!"

"Right. Now, if we can take something Zim treasures to Planet Moriara and put it in say a cage until Zim gets there, and then we put him in there instead, and voila! We have the biggest threat to the Irken race trapped like a fish in a net!"

"Cool," Purple enthused, "But does Zim have a weakness?"

"Sure he does!" Red assured him, "Everything has a weakness, except us, of course . WHEN'S MY JUICE COMING? All we have to do is find out WHAT Zim's weakness is, and take it, so he'll go to find it again!"

"What about that robot thing?"

"That might work, but it would drive us crazy. No, I think we need to do something a little more devious and evil than that. It's too obvious. We have to find something he cares for but hates caring for, which means he'll have absolutely no choice but to come after it, something he couldn't possibly suspect we would want. He doesn't know we hate him. Now, what about . "

"A human?" Purple suggested, cottoning on, "He'd hate to care for a human! But he always says he hates them . what human could he possibly care for?"

"Maybe it's time we got to know Zim a little better . " Red said evilly, and began to chuckle. He threw his arms back in a huge cackle, and the servant that had brought lots of juice was thrown back, spilling it all.

We'll leave that scene there . but lets just say Red needed a lot of laser therapy to get over it .

Dib's plan was settled, he just needed bait to trap Zim. What could an evil alien from one of the largest and most powerful races possibly care for? Dib thought of GIR, and shook his head. Zim could easily enough get GIR back by calling him, plus he would drive Dib crazy if that stupid robot was there.

He went downstairs, walking urgently, and saw Gaz ready to go out.

"Gaz?" Dib said, "You're going out?"

Gaz turned round and glared at him. Dib flinched. Gaz was scary, alright, and Dib remembered Gaz hadn't spoken him since she went on the huff on the roof.

"Yeah," she said coldly, "So?"

"Nothing," Dib said defensively, "It's just you don't normally-"

"Well maybe I'm going to make friends, considering I'm all alone!" Gaz told him snidely, and stormed out of the door, again leaving evil demon smoke behind her.

"Sheesh!" Dib said to himself, then thought he should follow her, he had to make sure she wasn't getting herself into any kind of trouble.

Dib walked along the road slowly, dragging his feet hidden deep inside his black boots. Most of what he wore was black, except for the T-Shirt he always wore with the slightly deluded face that described Dib so well.

"Why should I care if Gaz runs into trouble?" Dib thought bitterly, "She's never shown anything remotely respectful to me!" He kicked a stone, which skidded in the direction of Zim's house. It was then that Dib had an idea to spy on Zim instead of looking for Gaz. She could look after herself, she had sharp teeth.

When he reached Zim's house, the sight of what was going on at Zim's threshold made him cry out in horror.

"I love this show . " GIR moaned happily, staring at the blank TV screen, while Zim played Nirvana non-stop.

"I just don't understand why I almost - like - this human, GIR. It's something Irkens aren't supposed to do . I think. I mean, as a smeet, I was always treated like the insignificant Irk Worm Baby I was. I'm confused by it all, GIR. How can it be?" Zim asked his robot, who got up and walked over.

"Awwww don't worry you'll find a new puppy," he assured him. Zim glared at GIR and shook the robot hand off his shoulder.

"Yes, GIR. I will get a new puppy if you don't - hey! Computer!" Zim added, when he heard a familiar ringing.

"What is it?" the Computer said, "You said you'd leave me alone!"

"That was yesterday! Now what is that infernal ringing?"

"That's your doorbell, Zim."

"CALL ME SIR!"

"No."

"GO AWAY! Doorbell . where do I recognise . a door at a bell . a bell at a door . aaargh! The doorbell! I do not wish to be abducted again!" Zim cried, and turned to ignore the bell.

Of course, the hyper-active robot zoomed to the door and whipped it open.

"Heeellooooo," GIR greeted, "My name's Fred, but you can call me Mary!"

"GIR!" Zim snapped, walking cautiously over to the door, "Did you answer the belldoor?"

"I don't know!" GIR replied, and walked off, bored. He plopped himself in front of the blank TV, "I love this show."

Zim approached the door, and looked at the visitor.

"DIB MONKEY SIBLING!" he screamed, "What do you want?"

Gaz opened an eye in mockery as she judged Zim.

"Well, I came to say hi, but I'll go if you want," she shrugged, making no move to leave. They stood awkwardly.

"Yes, yes that's what I want!" Zim cried, "For you to leave, terrifying Dib- sister! LEAVE!"

"Okay," Gaz said, again making no move to leave.

Zim blinked.

"I thought you were leaving," Zim said blankly.

"Yeah. Funny how things work out," Gaz replied.

"So, what do you want?"

"I'm not sure, exactly. What do you want?"

"Why don't I hate you anymore?" Zim asked her. Gaz closed the eye and opened the other one instead.

"Well, I don't know. Maybe you got used to me. Like you got used to Dib?" Gaz suggested.

"No, no. I hate your Dib-Stink."

"Oh. Right. Well, so do I, I guess."

"Why? He is one of your owwwn . "

"So?"

"I don't know. It's just no one on our planet hates one another. Except how I hated Tak, and Tak hated me for some reason, but I can't imagine why."

"Was that the weenie thing?"

"Yeah."

"Ok. Just checking."

Another awkward silence, and Zim looked at Gaz hard.

"What are you doing?" Gaz asked, feeling a little uneasy.

"Trying to figure out why I don't hate you anymore," Zim said, a slight waver in his voice.

"Oh right. Could you maybe . um . do that without me here?" Gaz asked.

GIR waddled up to Gaz and grinned at her in his green dog suit thing.

"I love you," he said, and Gaz looked very uncomfortable.

'Was she showing emotion?' Zim thought, 'I have never known the Dib-Stink's sibling to show emotion.'

"Do you have Chicken Legs?" GIR asked Zim. Zim shook his head, and GIR walked away with a sad look on his face.

"So, you don't hate me, huh?" Gaz said.

"No, don't think so. I'm just trying to figure out why, but my Computer isn't speaking to me. I want to know why . I want to know now . "

"GAZ!" a random cry came from the end of the garden, "GAZ! Get away from him!"

Suddenly, Dib emerged from the bushes, a hostile look on his face. Zim readied himself and leapt out of the door in front of Gaz who was holding a can of juice.

"What do you want, Dib-Stink?" Zim demanded, his feet wide apart and a burrowed frown.

"I want to know what you're doing with my sister!" Dib cried, pointing at Zim. They were a couple of feet apart, and they were almost snarling. Any more hate and they'd be pouncing on each other. It looked like that might happen if they were left to stand there.

"I'm figuring out why I don't hate - AAAARGGGHHH! IT BURNS!!!" Zim shrieked, rolling on the ground in agony. Dib looked at him weirdly, then looked at Gaz, who had sprayed the juice on Zim.

"Good going, Gaz!" Dib cried, "That was really - AAAARGHHH!"

Gaz chuckled and walked among the two writhing bodies in the grass, and grabbed Dib by the neck of his trench coat, dragging him home while he was screaming.

By the time Zim had recovered, Gaz and Dib were long out of sight, and Zim stood up.

He went back inside the house to find GIR with his hood up and a stick with a napkin full of stuff inside it, like people about to run away did. Zim looked at GIR quizzically.

"Where are YOU going?" Zim asked. GIR ignored him and walked to the door.

"Faaaaaar away!" GIR cried.

"Far away? You're leaving? Why?" Zim gasped.

"I don't know!" GIR said happily, "Master has a new friend so GIR going away to find his real master, the taco man!"

"GIR, there is no taco man. And I am your only master! GIR! You're my slave bot, and I am ORDERING YOU to get back here now!"

"Nooooo thank you!" GIR said finally, and ran off, squeaking as he went.

"FINE! I don't need you anyway. Useless piece of machinery. I think I'll ask the Tallest for a new one. Yes . a new one. But not just yet, I'll wait and see if GIR comes back first." Zim told himself, closing the door.

GIR didn't come back that night, and for the first time since Irk, Zim was alone.

A/N: What did you think???? Review! WOO!

Right . next chapter is called Irken likes Demon Child Thing, which basically means that the Computer says Zim 'likes' Gaz, and our little Irken finds it impossible.

He thinks the only way is to figure out Gaz's 'spell' she put on him. GUESS WHAT HE DOES! Also, describes GIR's new home. It's gonna be cool, ppl. READ AND REVIEW!