A/N: I know I haven't updated a lot, but from now on I will make sure at least twice a week. The lack of reviews isn't helping thou.
Chapter 3
I reached the main hallway of the school, I looked around only to find I was centre of attention. I got sorry looks from everyone around. I knew this was going to be a long day, but just seeing the way people were looking at me I knew it was going to be 10 times longer. I gathered the feeling back in my legs and started to walk to my locker to put my books away. I kept my head down so I wouldn't notice anyone staring. I could hear people talking to me, calling my name but I didn't respond I just kept walking. I made it to my locker when I ended up banging into someone. I wouldn't of even of known that it was there. The guy looked to be one of Luke's old friends, great I thought.
"Listen man...I'm really sorry" His fists clenched with raised arms and a vein popping out of his neck wasn't the best sign. Then he lightened up and his hands dropped to his side.
"Yeah, It was no problem man. I'm actually really sorry about everything. Seth was a cool guy..." What the fuck was this guy talking about, he hated Seth. He made fun of him. Hell he pissed in his shoes!
"What do you know about Seth?" I dropped my bag and stepped forward. I shut my eyes tightly and knew this wasn't the way to handle. He was being nice, just leave it.
"You know what, It's okay...Sorry for walking into you." I stayed calm grabbed my bag and headed a few steps forward to my locker. When I opened it the pictures on the door caught my eyes. Me and Marissa, Our Chrismmukkah card and me and Seth. It was a picture from us when we went to Luna Chix. I remember it perfectly, Summer had her camera because she wanted pictures of her and Brady. That dude from the Valley. She saw me and Seth doing shots and we were making weird faces from the nice touch of alcohol going down out throats. It was Priceless. That was only a week before everything too. It made me think about how could he be in this picture then be dead so quickly? My eyes started to water and I knew I couldn't do this again. Not now. Control yourself Atwood. I shut my eyes tight and looked over to the left. Seth's locker. I forgot I was going to clean it out. I wasn't ready to do it but I had to. I need to get over this. Who was I kidding thou, I'll never get over it. Seth should have never died.
I walked slowly over to his locker. A wreath and Picture of him were tapped on. Hmm, They acted like they cared, nice. Before I could open it I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Listen, Mr. Atwood, We figured you might want to clean it out yourself. We are really sorry. You can take as long as you want. Your teachers will understand. Just make sure you get your homework..How are you holding up thou?" Ahh, The Dragon Lady herself. Dr. Kim.
"Well, I'm better now. Listen, thank you for letting me take my time do this. I appreciate it."
"Seth was a good kid. He was never in my office, so I didn't know him that well. When I did talk to him thou, he was a very polite and humorous young man."
"He was. Thank You again."
"Listen, Mr. Atwood. If You need anything, please contact me."
"Thank You." As she walked off, I was really touched by what she said. I said quietly to myself 'I guess she's not that much of a dragon ehh Seth'. I laughed a bit, then started to turn the lock. 42 left...34 right...But when it came to the last number I couldn't do it. It was too hard. I knew as soon as I opened this I'd be filled with memories of him. Now I kind of did wish someone else would have cleaned it out. Dammit. Stop being such a pussy Atwood, just open the fucked lock. 42 Left...34 right...And again I couldn't do it. I hurled my bag down the hall and took out my frustration on the locker. After my punch, I looked around. Noone was there. The bell must have rang. Thank god noone saw that. I again regained my composure and unclenched my fists. 42 left...34 right...And stopped again. Shit.
"Go right to 22 and then pull and here is your bag" The voice took me out of my trance. It was Summer. Except you really couldn't tell. She wore faded jeans with holes and a death cab shirt. Her hair was messy and un combed. Damn, She was also taking this hard. She set my bag on the ground.
"Summer..."
"Yeah, well, don't look so surprised. I can be grungy too." Instead of saying anything I took her in a huge hug. She wrapped her arms around me, without even speaking we knew what each other were thinking. We both knew him best, and we both lost him. No one else could have that. I could hear her cry on my shoulder and let go of her. I took my thumb and ran it under her eyes.
"I miss him...I think about him. I wish he was still here, then we'd be okay. We'd still have what we want. Don't you?"
"Everyday."
"You have to clean out his locker...?"
"Yeah" I said it quiet. This was something I was not looking forward too. "I don't want to, it will bring back so much..."
"Would You like company, I think it would be best if you weren't alone, but if you want to do it yourself, I understand." She started to turn and walk away everything was getting to her. I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards me.
"Of course I want your help. I don't think I could do it alone."
"Okay...I'm here for you Ry, Just like I need you to be here for me."
I grabbed the lock and did the combination. 42 Left...34 right...22 and pull. When the lock fell off I let it fall to the ground. It's like part of me fell with the lock. It hit the ground and made a slight crash. My eyes watched it fall as if it was in slow motion. Summer grabbed my hand and held it in hers. Tightly.
"We can't cry, promise..?" She shook her head and put her hand on the locker door. I did the same and we both opened it together. I think both of our hearts skipped a beat when we saw what was in there. I grabbed my bag off the ground lifted it up. I looked up at the locker just gauzing. Journey , Death Cab Cd's, a Rooney Poster and his book bag. Or course Seth wouldn't bring back his bag to do his homework. Of Course not. He had pictures in his locker as well. Him and Summer which Summer was holding in her hand, The whole group, The Chrismmukkah card and a pic of me and him as well. It was the one of us in the Model home. Marissa took it of course. He were about to putt and I was holding up the toilet paper Marissa gave me. Shit it was another awkward picture, my face was in such a grin, he actually mentioned that this was probably the only picture anyone would ever take of me smiling and he was happy he had it. Fuck...No Crying.
"Ryan, Look..." My head whipped around so fast I thought I was going to have whiplash.
"Yeah hun, What's up..." As I took the picture from the locker and stuck it in my pocket.
"Look..." Summer handed me and a binder...
"What about this..."
"Open it...Jesus, people from Chino are so hardheaded.."
"I opened it to see a paper written by Seth. I didn't know he actually did homework. I chuckled. 'The Happiest Day Of My Life'. I stared at it for a second. I didn't think they did shit like this in highschool, but It was an applied English class. I however had an advanced. So my papers were like "My Thoughts On Shakespear.." and stuff like that. They always had to be like 10 thousand words and stuff. Blah.
"Read it, It's about you."
"Nah, I think I'll save it for later." I stashed it in my pocket along with the picture.
As me and Summer cleaned out Seth's locker I thought about everything that's ever happened between us. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I think Summer was in that boat as well. She kept tearing up everything she's touch something and turn away to whip away her tears. I acted as if I didn't notice cause I didn't want to embarrass her. The rule was no crying so I left it. It hurt to see her cry, fuck, I wanted to do the same thing. But I couldn't. The letter was even scary to me. I knew he would have shown me the letter. I knew that for fact. Even just looking at it, I felt scared to know what it was going to say. I would debate on reading it later thou. Right now I realized locker bassinets was done. I faced Summer and looked to the ground. He eyes were puffy but she had no make-up on which again was surprising, so there was no mascara running down her face. We both backed away and looked into the locker it was empty. We didn't really go through everything but shoved it into my backpack. The silence again was all that was being done. I knew as soon as I closed the locker door it was done. I was closing Seth away.
"NO!"
"Ryan What?"
"I can't do it..."
"Do what?"
"I can't close this door. Then he will be done. Everyone will forget."
"No Ryan, When You close this door you can have closure you can know you guys had all the good times and he can be peaceful, we can be peaceful."
"I never will be at peace. He was young, he shouldn't have died Summer. Never should have happened. I should have gone out, Not him. Me."
"Ryan, No, Calm down. Please." Her eyes started to tear. What was I doing. I can't do this to her, myself. Closing this door wouldn't mean anything. Other then I wouldn't see it open again. That scared me.
"Okay...I'm sorry."
"Its okay. I know your upset. So am I. I just miss him.."
"Me too..." With that I took a step forward, I rubbed the handle on the locker and shut it slowly I could see the darkness takeover as I closed it. When It was shut tight I put the lock back on. This was Seth's locker, and It would stay Seth's locker. I grabbed Summer's hand and started to walk down the hall. I called Sandy and told him what I did. He was upset that I had to do it, but glad Summer was there to help. I told him she was going to drop me off at home. I wasn't ready to say at school yet. Cleaning Seth's locker wasn't something that I thought would be easy, but it took a lot out of me. I just wanted to lay down and sleep. When I slept I dreamed about seeing Seth.
A/N 2: Well That's Chap 3, Hope you guys enjoyed it. I'll update sooner.
-Rachel
