Doom Witch

Author's Note: Hello my splendid chappies. Salutations to you and to all. Now. This chapter : It will be quite amusing aber (but in German) snidy. All those easily exposed to snideism please do not read this chapter, or read it with your eyes closed. Ok? Ok.

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- Chapter Seven - Skool Dance - 3 months later

Dib and Gaz were sitting in the living room, Gaz drawing, and Dib watching Gaz drawing. She looked up at him and glowered, so Dib stood up and wandered off. Gaz looked at her picture - one of Zim and Dib fighting while Gaz sat in the background playing her GameSlave.

"Pfff," she said to herself, "Boys and their petty feuds. Zim and Dib are as stupid as each other."

"Now Gaz," the macho cheesy voice of her father sounded as he arose from the depths of his laboratory, "Don't you go mouthing off about your brother, we all know he's insane."

"Yeah-" Gaz began, "But it's Zim too. Is it just boys that are stupid?"

Professor Membrane laughed from his diaphragm.

"No, no, Gaz. Just look at me! I'm not stupid, am I? I mean - I invented . . . SUPERTOAST!" he yelled, and without another word, waved a finger and patted her awkwardly on the head, before walking very superiorly out of the room.

Gaz opened an eyelid. Yeah, her dad was stupid too.

She wandered upstairs and knocked on Dib's bedroom door. He answered it and stepped aside so she could walk in. Both her eyes opened at the - thing - Dib was constructing in the corner of the room.

"Uh - Dib?" she said, and her brother closed the door, "What is that thing?"

Dib chuckled, "That, dear sister, is my revenge, and Zim's terrible doom!"

"Okay, Dib. Never call me 'dear sister' again. If you hate Zim so much, why don't you just stay out of his way?" Gaz suggested, and Dib chuckled again, which annoyed Gaz. She didn't find either of the questions he had chuckled at funny.

"Because he's trying to take over the world, Gaz."

"Whatever." "No! No, he is. Come on, Gaz. Open your eyes! OPEN YOUR EYYYEEES!"

Gaz raised an eyebrow, and walked out of the room. Before she closed the door, she turned round and said:

"You don't need to listen to Zim about the no-kid-ever thing, y'know, Dib."

"Yeah. Well I'll think about that when I have to worry about - uh - that." Dib replied.

"How long have you been working on that cage thing? And how are you expecting to get Zim in it?"

"Since I had the inspiration. I'll think about how to trap him when the time comes."

"If its going to be made of glass like it says on the plan over there," she pointed to the plan in Dib's hand, which he automatically hid behind his back, "Then couldn't Zim blast out of it?"

Dib smirked.

"You'll see, Gaz," he said quietly, "Just wait and see."

"What?" Gaz asked, "Speak up, I can't hear you!"

"UGH!" Dib groaned, and slammed the door in her face. He never got to be all mysterious and stuff. He quickly locked the door so Gaz couldn't deposit wrath upon him for slamming the door in her face.

He turned back to his work in progress and rubbed his hands in anticipation of the day when he had Zim caught like a rat in a trap.

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Zim was once again bored in skool. Ms Bitters had made each class member read a different definition of doom until they had it imbedded into their very brains. Ms Bitters seemed to be in an even fouler mood than usual, her rantings of DOOM were very much more enthusiastic than they usually were.

At the end of the day, Ms Bitters stood up to the class. Everyone braced himself or herself for reading more of the dictionary. Zim really didn't want to read another 400-odd pages of some stupid little book anyway.

"As you all know, this is August," Ms Bitters said, and though a couple flinched, none dared to say "DUH!". They were wise, "And that means that it's time for another horrible, horrible tradition I despise so much."

"YAY!" the class yelled, though none could think of what it could be. Zim itched for the bell to ring, possible interrupting Ms Bitters. Please-

"And as you all know, today is the 4th," Ms Bitters continued. Again, none dare tease the rather scary and evil-looking educator, "Which means only one thing."

The class sat still, not sure whether to care or not. Zim knew he didn't. He wanted to get home so he could listen to Nirvana.

The bell rang victoriously, and Zim leapt on to his feet.

"Nurt O'Jane - Kurt Cobain, here I come!" he cawed, and rushed forward.

"SKOOL DANCE!" bellowed Ms Bitters, and the class stopped in their eager tracks. Zim didn't understand what the sudden attention span was activated for, but he didn't want to seem different so he froze too.

'Grandma take me home, Grandma take me home,' played in Zim's mind, a song called Sliver he had grown to like from Nirvana.

Dib's eyes shot to Zim's in warning, and Zim's narrowed angrily.

"I don't need any warnings from you, Dib-Stink," he whispered.

"You keep your word, I keep mine, Zim," replied Dib coldly, and both turned back to face Ms Bitters.

"The Skool Daaaance is on the 17th of August, and I expect you all to have DATES!" she shrieked, and Dib shivered. Who the hell would go out with him? And who would Zim ask?

"There will be a prize for the best liked couple," Ms Bitters continued, "You have 13 days to figure out how not to humiliate yourself. GO HOME NOW!"

The class obeyed, and Zim wandered away, Dib following closely behind. As Zim walked further from Skool, Dib noticed he was going a different way than he normally did. Weird. It was almost like-

"ZIM!" Dib cried involuntarily, "What do you think you're doing?" he ran up to catch up with him, and Zim glared.

"I'm walking, stupid infertile Dib-creature," Zim snarled, and continued walking. Dib blocked his way, his arms outstretched horizontally.

"Where to?" Dib asked, equally as - snarly, "Looks like you're headed for my house."

"Don't be stupid. Why would I be going to - oh!" Zim fell off as he saw Gaz walking towards them.

"Hey," she said, "I hope you two aren't fighting, because I got soda in my bag."

Dib and Zim shivered, and shook their heads.

"No," Dib denied, "I was just asking Zim where he was going."

"You're being friendly all of a sudden," Gaz said suspiciously, glowering at Dib, "What's up?"

"I was actually on my way to see you, Gaz," Zim interrupted, and Dib's jaw fell open, displaying his psycho crazy teeth.

"Oh yeah?" Gaz queried, hands on her hips.

"Yeah."

"Ok, what about?"

"I wanted to ask you-"

'Promise to leave her alone as well, Zim. Never speak to her again. Never touch her-' was what the terms were with Dib, Zim thought. If he broke them, would that mean Dib could have a human worm baby?

'He would have shriveled up like a prune and died by then, humans live no time at all!' he thought to himself, and smiled.

"What?" Gaz asked, and Zim flashed his eyes to Dib's, who's gaze was ready and hating.

"I wanted to ask you - if you - uh - wanted to go to the dance with me?" Zim asked, and Gaz shut up, and Dib's mouth dropped open even further this time.

A tumbleweed flew past the road, and the three watched it bounce. Bouncey bouncey bouncey - wow, look at it go! Ahem.

"Yeah, ok, I guess," Gaz answered unemotionally, "See you then, Zim."

"'Kay,"

"Bye, Zim."

"Bye, Gaz."

Gaz wandered off with a slight tinge of red to her cheeks. Dib instantly turned on Zim with a not-quite-sure-whether-to-be-triumphant-or-not look on his face, and before the Earth worm baby could say anything, Zim was kicking up into the air in his funny little walk towards his base.

Dib's mouth dropped open again, and watched the two disappearing silhouettes with a twitching eye, before shrugging and following Gaz.

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The 17th came quite quickly, and it was now the day before the night of the dance (16th) and Zim was panicking. He didn't know what to do, let alone with his arch nemesis' sister! He was having second thoughts, but it had cost Zim his deal with Dib so he couldn't waste it. He had to rub Dib's demented face in his enemy going out with his sister.

It was subtle, but effective, yes - this was the plan that began all other plans. He grew close to Gaz and he would grow close to her father, and subsequently find his path to DOOMING THE EARTH! And it was an added bonus that Dib would hate him more.

Yes, yes, yes, this was it.

Suddenly GIR threw himself across the lab screaming, and Zim put his head in his hands.

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Dib sat in the classroom watching Ms Bitters drone on about doom and all its doomy glory. He knew enough about the oncoming doom upon them, it was sitting two chairs away in the form of a green kid with no ears. The green kid that was taking his sister to a dance that night. The green kid that had tried to destroy him so many times. The green kid that-

"Diiiiiiiiib!" Ms Bitters called, and Dib's head shot up, "Are you thinking about something besides what I am speaking about?"

Dib shook his head.

"No, Ms Bitters. I was thinking about doom," he replied truthfully, and she slid back the two feet she had zoomed towards him, and continued her dooming speech.

'Zim's doom,' Dib thought, 'As soon as my cage is finished and my plan complete, Zim will no longer be any threat to the human race! Or my family- '

He chuckled to himself, and Ms Bitters must have been enjoying herself (even if she didn't look like she was) because she ignored him. The bell rang and everyone stood up to leave.

"Remember the dance tonight, you horrible little weasels," she snarled as people reached the door, "I hope you aaaallll have someone to go with! OR DOOM!"

"Uh - why?" Dib asked, mostly because he didn't have a date.

"You don't have a date, do you, Dib?" Zim sneered from behind him. Everyone else had gone except the two rivals, their teacher and Zita, the purple haired girl that sat behind Zim.

"Don't have a date?" Ms Bitters literally spat, and Zim and Dib wiped their face, "Well, we'll sort that out - ZITA!"

"What?" Zita snapped, having not paid attention, "I mean, yes, Ms Bitters?"

"Zita! You will go with Dib to the dance tonight!" she ordered, and turned to her paper work lying on the desk. Dib peered at it, and noticed all it said was "doom". She stamped it with an 'A'.

Meanwhile, Zita's mouth was open in horror, and Dib felt very uncomfortable. Dib was trying hard to control his laughter.

"But Ms Bitters! Dib's a freak! And I'm already going with-" Zita protested.

"Siiiiiilence!" she hissed, "I don't care who you're going with, you will OBEY! Dib, pick her up at her house for seven."

Dib's eyebrow shot up.

"But I don't know where she lives," he said, "And I don't think Zita wants- "

"DO NOT ARGUE! Now, Zita, tell Dib where you live, and Zim, what are you doing here?" Ms Bitters snapped, as if only just noticing Zim with his hands over his mouth bent double. When she noticed him, he jumped.

"Sir! I came to wait for my - uh - good friend Dib! Sir!" he replied, and Ms Bitters waved her hand for them to leave. Zim strolled out into the corridor, and Dib gazed angrily after him.

"Oh my God," Zita said suddenly, "I can't believe I am going to a dance with Dib."

"Do you even know my last name?" Dib asked.

"Uh - yeah. It's-"

"Think on my dad."

"Professor - Membrane. See! Ha. I know. Anyway - what's with the diverting?"

"I'm not any happier about this, Zita."

"Gee, thanks."

"It's not you, but you see, Zim is going with my sister, and I really, really don't want-"

"Yeah, yeah, okay, okay, you're life's a mess and you hate Zim and blah blah blah blah. Keep talking if you want, Dib, cos I'm going!"

"Wait, I didn't get your address!"

Zita sighed and wrote it down on a piece of paper she took from Ms Bitters' desk and handed it to Dib, then walked out of the classroom without another word. Dib looked at it and sighed. It was going to be a loooooong night.

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The doorbell rang at seven o'clock, and Professor Membrane answered it. Dib walked past his father and Zim, who was at the door, with a glare, as he went to pick up Zita.

"Hello, famous Earth being," Zim greeted, "I have come to escort your daughter to-"

"AH! The little foreign boy is your date, Gaz! He's Dib's friend, isn't he?" Professor Membrane turned to his daughter, "Aren't you, little green man?"

"Yes, yes, we're very close," Zim dismissed, and grabbed Gaz's arm, pulling her out. She yanked her arm back and waved to her dad before stepping slowly out of the house.

"Have my little - uh - Gertrude back before eleven!" Professor Membrane called, waving them off, "Oh, I feel so happy! I'm going to make ---TOAST!"

"It's Gaz!" Gaz yelled, before walking off with Zim down the street.

"So, back for eleven, yup?" Zim improvised.

"That's what he said," Gaz replied.

"Looking forward to tonight?" Zim tried again.

"Not really," Gaz said.

"Ok - Do you like waffles? My robot - uh - dog, likes waffles."

"That's great, Zim."

They didn't say anything for the rest of the walk and Zim felt very awkward. When they reached the hall, some people were dancing, others were sitting down, and other people were arguing.

"Wanna dance?" Zim asked Gaz.

"No, not yet. I want to save my dignity for a while," Gaz replied, and Zim breathed a sigh of relief.

"Dumped you already, has she, Zim?" Dib's voice came from behind him. Zim whirled round to meet Dib standing with Zita.

"No," Zim snarled, "Hey Zita."

"Hey, freak," Zita replied, "How ya doing?"

"Okay, I guess. You?" Zim asked.

"Not bad -" Zita looked at Dib, "I guess."

Zim smiled a little, and turned to go and get some punch, leaving Dib feeling even more awkward.

"So," he tried, "How are you, Zita?"

Zita glared at Dib and wandered away to meet with her friends.

A couple of hours later was the dancing competition. All couples had to dance to a piece of music that sounded like it had been ransacked by the Irken Army and THEN trampled on by a herd of elephants. Dib led Zita out onto the dance floor and they stood as far apart from each other as possible.

It started off for Zim and Gaz like that too, both unsure and a little edgy. By half way through the song, they were dancing away, and Dib looked on with jealousy and protective - stuff.

"Hey, you're quite a good dancer," Gaz acknowledged. Zim scoffed.

"And you dance while you play your game thingy a lot, do you?" he replied.

"No," she said defensively, "I only said-"

"I was only teasing."

"Oh. Right. Okay."

When the song ended they stepped away and regarded each other. Neither of them noticed Dib with clenched fists breaking away from Zita so he could glare at them with gritted teeth. Unable to control himself, he stormed into them and stepped in front of Gaz.

"Dib!" she protested, and he threw an arm back to stop her pushing him away. She groaned angrily.

"Okay, Zim," Dib snarled, "I've had enough. What are you up to?"

Some people had stopped dancing and were looking at them. Gaz tried to look uninvolved but it was easy to see she was part of it.

"Nothing, you suspicious worm-beast! Why are you always so mean to me?" Zim retorted.

"Because you're trying to take over our WORLD!" Dib cried, "You're the ENEMY!"

"Oh, not this again, Dib," Zita said, coming up to him, "Seriously, you need to get a life."

"Zita!" Dib cried, "Wait! I'll get you, Zim. You lay one finger on her and I swear-"

"Are you coming or will I go and dance with Torque?" Zita snapped, and Dib backed off, bumping into a couple of kids without taking his eyes off of Zim until Zita grabbed him and pulled him onto the dance floor.

"You'll pay for this, Zim!" Dib shrieked, "You won't get away with this one that easily! You'll pay!"

Zim looked at Gaz.

"Do you want to go?" he asked her.

"Yeah," she said, and they walked out.

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Once at the Membrane household, Zim stood on the doorstep and smiled at Gaz grimly.

"Sorry about Dib," Gaz said, not sounding sorry.

"I'm used to it, but he will pay, how he will payyy -" Zim snarled.

"Tell me about it," she agreed, and Zim looked at her cautiously, then turned to go.

"Bye then," he said, then awkwardly returned to her side and pecked her on the cheek.

He turned to leave again, then heard a sensor go off. The door whipped open and Professor Membrane stood in the doorway. Zim stood behind Gaz as he was walking away and stared at her father, confused.

"HELLO!" Professor Membrane hollered, and Zim raised a brow.

"Er - hi," he said, "I think,"

"DO YOU?" Professor Membrane bellowed.

"Yes -"

Zim wasn't sure how to react to a scientist man yelling at him.

"Then come on in! There's plenty of room here!"

He stood aside to let Zim and Gaz in, then took Zim down to his base while Gaz went to play her GameSlave.

"And here," Membrane said on the tour, "Is where I make my toast!"

"The SuperToast?"

"YES! How clever you are, no wonder you took my daughter to the prom!"

"Uh - it was just a dance," Zim told him.

"Really? Oh thank goodness. I was worried I was going to miss her graduation! And going to the prom in that dress she always wears? Oh dear, I AM glad it wasn't the prom. So glad, I think I will show you my latest invention, my Great Toast Distributor!"

"Um," Zim said.

They walked over to something suspended from the ceiling beams, which looked like a large toaster machine with holes at the bottom. Suddenly a plan began to form in Zim's mind.

"This is the Great Toast Distributor! This will give breakfast to the whole world - and it really flies! It was inspired by that amazing screensaver with the flying toasters, if it wasn't for the screensaver, it would never have been thought up! Which means people would have to make breakfast themselves! What an idea!" Membrane babbled, while Zim plotted.

If he could drop bombs from the toaster instead of toast, then he would be able to cause havoc. It wouldn't be much havoc as it would just be little bombs, but there could be lots, and he could kill off people he disliked while they walked through the streets!

"HAH! INGENIOOOUUUS!" he yelled accidentally, and Professor Membrane looked at him blankly.

"Yes! It is, rather, don't you think?" he cried, "I'm so glad you approve!"

Zim grinned, and hid a chuckle. This would be too easy. He noticed a roll of plans entitled "Screensaver", so snatched them and put them in his I.D. Pak.

"That's fascinating, Professor, but I really must go now, I have to tell my parents the good news!" Zim said, trying to sound excited, and Professor Membrane's eyes told Zim he was smiling, so he turned and left the lab the way he came.

On the way out, he passed Gaz, and he felt something he had never felt before.

He didn't like it.

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A/N : What do you think so far? Review revieeew! Review review! Pleassse!

Next chapter : Zim tells the Tallest of his great plan and Gaz comes round after skool. I won't reveal any more but let's say it's a moment that you've all been expecting, I bet!

MWUHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Review.