Doom Witch
Author's Note: Official note from author. WOO! I mean, ahem. My cat is evil. EVIL! He likes my knees . . . why does he continuously attack my knees? WHY MY BELOVED KNEES???
WHY?
Jeez, I'm sorry it's been so long. My story is so far back, way way back nearly forgotted! Oopsie! Will try and update but had a batch of the dreaded writer's block, that always happens around summer. Sorry folks try and put up with me. Thanks to all who have reviewed and have been waiting for this, I'll make it up. Pwomise!
Man this is a long chapter. 4,657 words, y'know? That's a lot! For one chapter, anyway! WOO! I love long chapters. You may have to read this offline if you don't have like a cool internet deal. But just make sure you read it? OKAY??? OKAYYYY?
WHY MY KNEEES?!???!
* * * * * * * * * * *
- Chapter Eleven - You or Me? -
GIR was having fun with his minions, they did exactly what he did and copied what he said. His master was getting quite annoyed with him, and GIR was enjoying it because with an army of zombies behind him, there was nothing even the power-ridden Irken Invader could do. They had been eating Space Tacos - uh - GIR Tacos all the two days they had been walking, and suddenly, GIR's antenna began to buzz and a holographic image of the Almighty Tallest shot out of the small ball at the top.
GIR blinked.
"HIII!" he squealed happily, "I got loooottts of friends!"
"Very nice," the red Tallest dismissed, "What did you contact us for?"
"Whhhhaaaaaaatttt?" GIR dragged, "What you saaaaay?"
"Did you even know that you contacted us?"
"I really don't!"
Red turned to Purple.
"It's hurting me," he said, "You're stupider than me, Purp. See if you can understand him a little easier."
"Well, okay," Purple agreed, "And - uh - Red? Don't call me Purp."
"HIYA!" GIR yelled to the newcomer.
"Greetings, Zim minion," Purple acknowledged, then saw all the Irkens behind the little robot, "Uh - who are they?"
GIR looked behind him, as if surprised to find about two hundred Irken civilians behind him. He returned his very limited attention to the Purple Tallest.
"They like my GIR Tacos!" he told them happily, "THEY LIKE MY TACCOOOS!"
"Are you talking about Space Tacos?" Purple asked, looking down at the taco in his hand, "Y'know, I like this taco as it is, I don't want it to have anything to do with you!"
"YAAAAAAAAY! I don't caaaare!"
Purple scowled and Red took his place again, trying to come to reason. How had this stupid little robot they had created in thirty seconds been able to manipulate so many Irkens, even if they were infiltratable civilians. He decided to address them instead of the robot, who appeared to be spacing out.
"Wooooooooo," GIR was saying, looking at the image projecting from his head, "Lookie! It moooooooooooooooooos!"
Red raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat, "Irkens! Why are you following this robot? Do you not know who your leaders are?"
"We obey only the Taco Lord!" a female Irken cawed dramatically, before being lifted up by the crowd and drifted to the back. Red didn't question it, but was scared.
"They aren't even his tacos!" Red protested, "They're Space Tacos, and the Irken chef geniuses created them!"
"BYE!" GIR yelled randomly, pointing to the ever diminishing silhouette of Zim and Dib, "We gotta go now, Master don't know I is heerrrre!"
GIR pressed a button inside his head, and to his frustration it didn't work, so he shrugged, and walked on anyway, the image still coming out of his head. His minions followed ever onwards with tacos held high all . . . cool like . . . and . . . stuff . . .
A muffled voice yelled in the background of the Tallest area.
"HEY! He just hacked into the mainframe!" it yelled.
Red's head jerked and he stared, gobsmacked at the Irken at the front who had brought forth the news.
"What? That kooky robot?" Purple gabbled, "He hacked into the great Irken mainframe? HOW DID HE DO THAT?"
"I pressed a wrong butty-wutten!" GIR giggled, and pressed another button. The image of the Tallest disappeared and a map of the city took its place, with a green dot, a yellow dot and a bigger blue dot.
"WHAT?" Red roared, and GIR was still able to hear him in the background.
"Oopsie!" GIR squeaked, and began to skip towards Zim, who had by now stopped and was yelling at him to hurry up.
"Oo-oopsie?" Red stammered, "You - you stupid robot! You just hacked into the most sophisticated and complex mainframe computer in the Universe! NO ONE has been able to do that before, how can you, you, a delinquent, wacky Standard Information Retrieval Unit gone SERIOUSLY wrong be able to hack into it with an accidental push of a button? You have no idea how greatly you have-"
GIR found the right button to cut off the Almighty Tallest transmission, hoping to get the stupid image off of his head. Instead, he only cut off the sound and was left with the map.
He eventually reached Zim, who grabbed GIR's head and shook it.
"What's this, GIR?" he demanded, "What did you do?"
"I gotta map!" GIR replied, pointing continuously at the thing on his head, "Looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky look-"
"Okay!" Dib interrupted, "Fine! Whatever. A map, of what, I wonder?"
"Dib, stop talking to yourself. It must be some kind of SECRET CUNNINGLY INFILTRATED DATABASE of some sort. Maybe a - map to the Head Quarters?" Zim suggested.
"Yeah, I think you're right," Dib agreed, "But we have one of those. Do we switch it off?"
Zim swung GIR's head down to his eye level so he could inspect the map. His eyes lit up.
"These two dots - " he pointed to the smaller yellow and green dots, "They might be, yes, it would make sense anyway. Yes, this could help."
"What would?" Dib asked, "Zim, what would help? TELL ME!"
"YEAAAAAH!" GIR agreed, "I want the chicken legs! HEEEEEEEY! Why hasn't Dibby given me my pizza yet? I know it! DIB IS BAD!!"
Everyone looked at GIR and he giggled.
"Guh - heh!" he improvised, "Don't looky at me! I'm toooooo shy!"
"Yeah." Zim agreed. "Dib, I think these other two dots could be the locations of where the Almighty Tallests' relatives live."
"That don't be on a mainframe computer!" GIR squeaked, and Zim nodded in agreement for once.
"I know," he allowed, "But I think GIR has SOMEHOW got into the heavily, cleverly, ingeniously, hideously deviously and schemingly guarded mainframe information for Planet Moriara only."
Dib nodded, but didn't really agree that the mainframe files were that cleverly hidden if GIR could break into them.
"Okay," he said, "But what do they have to do with getting Gaz back?"
"They could maybe be a good source of information if it's needed. GIR! Get some of your minions to memorise it just in case it's wiped before we get back. NOW I WANT YOU TO STAY HERE, GIR. You do, you get tacos. You don't, and I'll send all your friends into the DEEPEST REGIONS OF . . . BRAZIL!" Zim warned, and GIR's camp settled themselves outside a nearby taco stand. It would keep them at bay, anyway, while Dib and Zim found the Head Quarters.
The two enemies hurried ahead together towards some kind of . . . placey. Just kiddin, it was the Irken Base on Planet Moriara, which was heavily guarded with gates and security guards, tall ones.
"WHO GOESSSSSS THERE?" one asked, very dramatically. Dib and Zim walked up to the booth it was in.
"Hi there, soldier!" Zim said cheerily, "We've come to collect our human worm baby before it shrivels like a PRUNNNE and dies. Can we get in?"
"You're Zim?" the guard asked, "Well, they said you were short but - anyway, specific orders from the Almighty Tallest state only one of you are allowed in."
"Oh yeah, they said that, huh?" Zim remembered, "Hang on while we argue non- progressively over this."
"Of course." The guard sat down again and began to chat to his companion. Zim dragged Dib over to a bank of Moriaran grass and sat down.
"Let the arguing begin, Dib-Stink," he sighed, "Who should go in?"
And so it began.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Gaz was no longer aware that she was dying, she was hardly aware of anything, but she was able to recognise that she didn't have long before something, whatever that might be, would happen.
She thought of Zim, surprisingly, and was concerned at herself at why she was thinking of him because she despised his very existence. Like she did all humans, but then, Zim wasn't human, was he? He was whatever these people keeping her prisoner were, which would have meant he might have told them to capture her, but he was here trying to rescue her, wasn't he?
Why would he get some guys to kidnap her so he could try to rescue her?
If she ever got out of this, she would have to ask him.
"Zim," she croaked involuntarily, and attempted to hit her own fist off her head but couldn't find the strength, so instead tried to sleep. It hurt to move, but she eventually found a reasonably comfortable position on her back, staring up at the shimmering bubble cage, and just before her eyes closed, she knew she wouldn't open them again.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Zim frowned. He had been expecting an argument, but not hysterics.
"She's MY sister, MY responsibility, and it's YOUR fault that she's here and no doubt you'll muck it up if YOU go in so I'M going to go in!" Dib yelled.
Zim narrowed his eyes and said nothing.
"Well come on, "Mighty Irken". Prove to me I'm wrong, tell me that I shouldn't go in. Give me reasons! GO ON!" Dib continued, his swollen eyes fit to bursting point.
Zim raised an eyebrow, keeping the other eye in a steady scowl. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, then bore his eyes into Dib's.
"Dib-Stink," he snarled, "I didn't ask to come to this civilian planet to seek your STUPID WORM SIBLING yet I did, and you insisted on coming in my Voot. I have been knocked unconscious, and what makes you think that the Almighty Tallest would not destroy you in an instant when they saw you were a human?"
"I was planning on destroying them in an instant." Dib retorted.
"HA! You make me laugh, Dib human? See? I'm laughing. You're very funny. AHEM! Are you suggesting that you can defeat the ENTIRE Irken Military, protecting the Almighty Tallest? I can persuade Gaz's release, you will ensure her destruction! Destruction is nice, but not of Gaz!" Zim left Dib gobsmacked, but he soon reco-ordinated himself.
"Why is Gaz's destruction not nice, Zim?" Dib challenged, admittedly defeated by Zim's point and was going to allow Zim to go, but not without a final word.
Zim just scowled, and walked up to the gates, turning back just before he reached them and yelled to Dib.
"Find GIR and go to the relatives! Find out . . . stuff! About how Impending Doom 2 is going, anything that will be useful in my conquest of Earth!" he told him, and Dib laughed.
"Yeah, I'm gonna help you destroy Earth, Zim! I'll find your leaders' family and will force information out of them that will help me stop you!" he retorted.
"Uh, Dib, they're Irken!" Zim reminded the silly human, and Dib looked a bit puzzled for a moment, then nodded, having obtained a sufficient comeback.
"Yeah, and if they're anywhere near as stupid as you then they'll be a great help!" he laughed, and ran off, leaving Zim growling.
Yup, he still hated that lousy human beast child.
"Silence your noise tube, human!" he screamed after him, "You have no idea what power the Irken race holds! NO IDEAA, I'm gonna kill you and then I'm going to slice you up and I'm done yelling now because you can't hear me can you Dib? CAN YOUUUU - okay."
Zim turned to the Irkens monitoring the gate, and nodded. When they didn't pay any attention he gave an even more conspicuous nod and the gate opened, he walked through in his funny little step thing when he kicked up his feet and held his head high in a very dignified manner as he went to do his duty to save . . . one of the race he was trying to destroy.
How confusing this 'like' issue was. The sooner it was over the better.
After Zim entered the building and began wandering through the complex corridors and weaving his way down endless staircases (because Zim knew that prisoners were usually held on lower levels), the two Irken-Moriaran guards held down a communication button and informed the Almighty Tallest of his arrival.
"Excellent," Red snarled, "Everything is in place. Evacuate the control room! I want it just to be me, Purp and Zim when he arrives. You hear?"
"Yes, my masters!" the employees at the front control panel obeyed, and scurried out of the door. Red looked to the tile in the corner of the room that would lower Zim to his doom. He chuckled, and looked at his colleague.
"What's wrong?" Red asked.
"I told you not to call me Purp!" Purple whined, and the more intelligent of the Tallest shook his head impatiently. Why couldn't he have been just a milimetre taller than Purple? Then it would just be him who ruled, he wouldn't have to share with this idiot. He looked at Purple and he immediately regretted his thinking that.
THEY WERE SUCH GOOD BUDDIES!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Hey! Hey! Quit it! Quit that!" Dib yelled at GIR, who had surprisingly stayed where he had been told. Maybe Zim had some control over the crazy piece of tin after all. GIR squealed and began singing "doody doody" repeatedly, and his minions followed course, therefore resulting in a big encore of "doodies". Dib shivered and grabbed the wooky robot, dragging him along the road towards the little green dot as it was the nearest.
"Lets sing a song to keep us happy on the way!" one Irken suggested, and GIR squeaked with mirth.
"YAAAAAAY!" he agreed, "DOOOOM SONG!"
"Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom! The end!" GIR and his choir sang joyfully, making poor Dib shudder.
At last, after another round of the Doom Song and then one about tacos, they reached the flashing green dot, and the map disappeared, the projection disappearing inside GIR's head. The little tin container closed, the little cool aerial thing appearing again. The Irken-Moriaran civilians "ooohed" in awe, and began twanging the little antenna.
"WOO!" GIR shrieked, "My little head's all closed up again!"
Dib wasn't sure whether that was a good thing. He hoped GIR had memorised the map, but he wasn't counting on it. What if no one was inside the house, because that was where they were - outside.
It was like something out of a sci-fi movie, the house was round and went up about three stories. The windows were kite-shaped and the door was like a Star Trek sliding door. It had a panel to the left of the door, like in a multi story apartment, but there was only a single button beside speaker holes. Dib swallowed and pushed the button, which flashed twice before a computerized voice said:
"You have reached the home computer of Zenin of Irk, currently inhabiting this Moriaran shelter unit. Do you wish to: a) speak to the inhabitant. b) request entrance. c) sell cookies. d) force entry and kill the inhabitant mercilessly, then rob the corpse. Please state your answer in a clear voice with your head exactly six inches from the speaker."
Dib moved his head closer to the microphone and cleared his throat.
A mechanical voice said, "ALERT! Thine head is not exactly six inches from microphone. Please await assistance."
"Huh?" Dib started, when a head vice shot from the speaker and held Dib's head exactly six inches from the speaker. He spluttered and tried in vain to pull free, "What is this? Let go!"
"State your desired action," the voice told him, "a) speak to the inhabitant . . . "
"Yeah, yeah, speak to the inhabitant and request entrance to abode, whatever!" Dib yelled, very uncomfortable.
"Accessing. Inhabitant allows entry. Inhabitant currently has guest so requires your name and purpose." The computer said.
"My name is Dib," he said, "I need to see the inhabitant to discuss very urgent matters. It can't wait!"
The computer waited a moment, then the metal clamp released Dib's head, and he rubbed his jaw instinctively.
"Access allowed," the computer declared. "Please stand back, our doors will open."
"But they're slidey doors- aaargh!" Dib yelled, and as the slidey doors parted, two within them swung open and hit Dib full in his abnormally large head. He was knocked back, and GIR attempted to enter with all his minions. Dib stood up and shook his head at GIR.
"No, GIR," he said, "Your friends will have to wait outside, it's not fair on the - uh - inhabitant that we bring two hundred aliens into her house. Whichever one it is, that is. Anyway, it's not fair, GIR. But maybe we should bring one Irken civilian to show that we mean no harm and that we're not attacking her, as we are the aliens here, GIR. Or I am. Or something. BRING ONE!"
"Awwwwwwww!" GIR moaned, looking at his followers lovingly, each one shrieking, "Pick me! Pick me!" "They're all so lovely! I can't choose!"
"Fine, I will!" Dib yelled, pushing GIR out of the way, the crowd drifted over to him and lifted them above their heads. Dib shook his head. He grabbed the nearest Irken, which was about four inches taller than himself, and nodded to him.
"What's your name?" Dib asked him, not quite believing he was going to ask a member of the enemy race to help him. Zim was right about the superior race, though. The Irken Empire seemed to have an awful lot of extra planets, whereas Earth had only one planet.
"I want the Taco Lord!" the Irken squeaked, "I want to serve the Taco Lord!"
"Look, he's not - ugh! What's your name, worthy taco follower?" Dib improvised, which cheered up the Irken immensely.
"Why, my name is Shoe!" the Irken replied.
"Really? You poor guy!" Dib said sympathetically, "Well, um, Shoe, you're going to help your Taco Man."
"TACO LORD!" Shoe screamed ramdomly.
Dib blinked.
"Yeah . . . "
GIR, after being lowered to the ground at last by the crowd, began to sob as he waved goodbye. He sniveled when he reached Dib, who shook his head in disbelief.
"You'll see them again before you know it!" he scorned.
"Awwww!" GIR moaned, and Dib thought it was best to give up, so he led the wonky robot and Shoe to the door which remained open. They walked through it, and GIR ran forward and up the stairs, Shoe prancing after him merrily. Dib wished Zim were here to yell at the robot, but didn't wish Zim was there for any other reason.
Dib knocked on the door up the small flight of stairs, and it was answered by an Irken female about twice (if not more) the height of Zim. She had deep magenta eyes and would probably be called pretty in Irken terms. She was wearing a similar uniform that Zim and all the other Irkens seemed to wear, except that she had a longer piece of material at the back, quite like Tak's.
Another female Irken appeared behind her, slightly taller than the magenta eyed one, who appeared to be quite a bit older than her. She had a bent back, and Dib noticed that both of the Irkens were hovering slightly above the ground, like the leaders did. Probably because they were relatives of the Almighty Tallest, and were like a royal family.
"WOOOOO!" GIR screamed, "HI THERE!"
The younger Irken blinked, and gave a little puzzled expression, shooting a glance at the elder, who beckoned Dib, who felt very small, into the room. It was a living room, with funny pod-chairs and a large hexagon table with a ceramic vase full of strange flowers. A viewing screen was on the far wall, probably to contact the leaders of this Empire Zim bragged about so much.
"Hello," the older Irken said, once they were all seated in the pod-chairs, "Who - and what, are you?"
"I'm Irken!" Shoe said proudly.
"I know you are," she replied, "I was asking the strange white skinned creature. Is that a SIR unit?"
Dib blinked.
"What's a SIR unit?" he asked.
"Obviously not Irken," the younger one said, staring at Dib intently, making him feel uncomfortable.
"Obviously." Dib confirmed. Then, "My name's Dib. My dad's a famous scientist on Earth, where I come from. I'm a - an Earthling, I guess."
"Earth?" the older asked, a slight twinge of surprise in her voice, "I always presumed it was pronounced Ee-arth! Oh well, you learn something new every year, I suppose."
"Yeah - uh, you know about Earth?" Dib questioned. Maybe these two would be useful in telling him about the plans to destroy Earth, so he would have an idea on how to avert them.
"Not about it," the younger one said (A/N: I wish Dib would get to know their names, it's so annoying writing "younger" and "elder"!), diminishing Dib's hopes, "We just know of it."
"So you don't know any deviously clever plans I could use to infiltrate Zim's plans?" Dib said, not being able to help sounding disappointed.
"No, sorry, Div, was it?" the younger asked.
"Dib," Dib corrected.
"Ah yes. Dib. My name is Zenin, and this is my house," the older said politely, tipping her head slightly, "I am the Red Almighty Tallest's assigned grandmother."
"And I am Fia, Purple's sister. We're both next in line for the sacrifice." The younger said in a very matter-of-fact way, no trace of fear or remorse in her magenta eyes. The two were very polite for the power-mad race.
"You don't seem to be-" Dib began, not thinking of a way to finish his sentence appropriately, "As ambitious as the others."
"No, that's right, we hate the whole Empire idea. It's all very well maybe having a spare planet or two while Irk is being repaired, but there's no need for the Irken Empire to fill all the galaxies it's just stupid," Zenin said with a trace of impatience in her cracked experienced voice. Fia nodded in agreement.
"Hang on, did you say - did you say REPAIRED? Your original planet is being repaired?" Dib queried, wishing he could say this was the most bizarre thing he had ever heard. Alas, it was not.
"Yes," Fia said cheerfully, "After Zim nearly destroyed it, we had to evacuate so it could be built up again slowly. Good old Zim, he always did get right up the Tallests' noses with great skill."
Dib disallowed his jaw to drop open.
"You see, the Almighty Tallest really don't like Zim, we don't know much about it, but if they had half a chance to capture him they would." Zenin chuckled, "I don't suppose they'll have much of a chance though, will they, if he's far in the Milky Way Galaxy. Never been there myself but I've been told the rings on Saturn are just charming-"
"They want to CAPTURE Zim? And I let him go in there! Does he know?" Dib panicked.
Fia blinked and gave Zenin another glance.
" . . . No . . . And what do you mean, go in there? Where?" she asked, and her magenta eyes shone impressively.
Dib swallowed and looked around the floor. GIR was rolling around on it, Shoe doing likewise, chanting about how great and mighty the Lord of the Tacos was.
"My sister - the Tallest kidnapped my sister Gaz, and me and Zim went after her. Zim went into the building - he's in danger isn't he? Which means he won't get to Gaz! She doesn't have long left we have to go there now!" Dib twittered, becoming louder and louder each time.
"Breathe, human." Zenin said calmly, "We'll get this all sorted, now what are you here for?"
"I was here for informati - NO! We have to help Gaz!"
"What about Zim?" Fia asked.
"What about Zim? It's his problem. I came here to save Gaz, not help my sworn enemy get out of a web he caused!" Dib snapped bitterly.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAY! I'm rolling in da hay! LOOKIE AT ME! LOOOOKKKKIWOOKIE AT MEEEE!" GIR screamed randomly, and everyone ignored him except Shoe, who clapped joyfully.
Zenin tutted, and looked over to Fia, who scowled.
"Zim used to be a very good friend of mine," she snarled, her magenta eyes sparking angrily, "Small though he is, he has a unique character and could be a valuable tool for the Irken Military if Red and Purple would only let him! If Zim can't free your sister like he said he would, no one can."
Dib blinked, and had no idea what to do or say.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Zim was getting nearer, he could smell the human stench.
"Funny," Zim said aloud to himself as he walked briskly through the corridors, "I've had no problems from security, not that I would as I am ZIM! But still, these corridors are utterly DESERTED LIKE A DESERT QUAIL!"
He stopped after his little yell and descended another flight of steps, where there was a large sliding door. Zim pushed the button on the control panel and it parted from the middle, revealing another empty room.
"This room shouldn't be empty, it's the control room!" Zim cried, "What's going on? What doing is this? Tell me, someone, or a computer, or something! What's the-"
From a tile in the corner of the room, Gaz rose up on a platform and collapsed forwards. Zim rushed to her without thinking, and wanted to kick himself for showing - gulp - compassion! He patted her head awkwardly.
"Get the GameSlave . . . " Gaz croaked, "Get the Vampire Piggies . . . "
Gaz blacked out, and Zim held her in his arms, feeling very uncomfortable. She looked so helpless, something he never thought Gaz could do, she had always been so incredibly scary. Zim felt something he had never felt before inside and he bit is lip, trying to force it out of himself.
Suddenly, he felt the cold press of metal against his head. He dropped Gaz's arm and spun around, leaping to his feet and rotating all in one movement. The gun that was against Zim's Irken flesh remained there, and he moved his crimson eyes to his attacker, the purple eyed Almighty Tallest, with his colleague standing a little bit away, playing Gaz's GameSlave.
Zim gulped.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A/N: WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I love this story . . . I may like it a little more than my Ico story . . . GASP! I'm so sorry . . . but it's cool and is more like a series as this whole Moriara thing is only part of the big plot thingy.
WOO! Not giving anything away! YAAAAY! SUSPENSE!
Just like those sweet, sweet, taquitos.
Aaaaaaahhhh . . . taquitos.
Hang on, where are my taquitos?
looks around
Taquitos?
Ta-Ta -
TAQUITOOOSS!
Review.
Author's Note: Official note from author. WOO! I mean, ahem. My cat is evil. EVIL! He likes my knees . . . why does he continuously attack my knees? WHY MY BELOVED KNEES???
WHY?
Jeez, I'm sorry it's been so long. My story is so far back, way way back nearly forgotted! Oopsie! Will try and update but had a batch of the dreaded writer's block, that always happens around summer. Sorry folks try and put up with me. Thanks to all who have reviewed and have been waiting for this, I'll make it up. Pwomise!
Man this is a long chapter. 4,657 words, y'know? That's a lot! For one chapter, anyway! WOO! I love long chapters. You may have to read this offline if you don't have like a cool internet deal. But just make sure you read it? OKAY??? OKAYYYY?
WHY MY KNEEES?!???!
* * * * * * * * * * *
- Chapter Eleven - You or Me? -
GIR was having fun with his minions, they did exactly what he did and copied what he said. His master was getting quite annoyed with him, and GIR was enjoying it because with an army of zombies behind him, there was nothing even the power-ridden Irken Invader could do. They had been eating Space Tacos - uh - GIR Tacos all the two days they had been walking, and suddenly, GIR's antenna began to buzz and a holographic image of the Almighty Tallest shot out of the small ball at the top.
GIR blinked.
"HIII!" he squealed happily, "I got loooottts of friends!"
"Very nice," the red Tallest dismissed, "What did you contact us for?"
"Whhhhaaaaaaatttt?" GIR dragged, "What you saaaaay?"
"Did you even know that you contacted us?"
"I really don't!"
Red turned to Purple.
"It's hurting me," he said, "You're stupider than me, Purp. See if you can understand him a little easier."
"Well, okay," Purple agreed, "And - uh - Red? Don't call me Purp."
"HIYA!" GIR yelled to the newcomer.
"Greetings, Zim minion," Purple acknowledged, then saw all the Irkens behind the little robot, "Uh - who are they?"
GIR looked behind him, as if surprised to find about two hundred Irken civilians behind him. He returned his very limited attention to the Purple Tallest.
"They like my GIR Tacos!" he told them happily, "THEY LIKE MY TACCOOOS!"
"Are you talking about Space Tacos?" Purple asked, looking down at the taco in his hand, "Y'know, I like this taco as it is, I don't want it to have anything to do with you!"
"YAAAAAAAAY! I don't caaaare!"
Purple scowled and Red took his place again, trying to come to reason. How had this stupid little robot they had created in thirty seconds been able to manipulate so many Irkens, even if they were infiltratable civilians. He decided to address them instead of the robot, who appeared to be spacing out.
"Wooooooooo," GIR was saying, looking at the image projecting from his head, "Lookie! It moooooooooooooooooos!"
Red raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat, "Irkens! Why are you following this robot? Do you not know who your leaders are?"
"We obey only the Taco Lord!" a female Irken cawed dramatically, before being lifted up by the crowd and drifted to the back. Red didn't question it, but was scared.
"They aren't even his tacos!" Red protested, "They're Space Tacos, and the Irken chef geniuses created them!"
"BYE!" GIR yelled randomly, pointing to the ever diminishing silhouette of Zim and Dib, "We gotta go now, Master don't know I is heerrrre!"
GIR pressed a button inside his head, and to his frustration it didn't work, so he shrugged, and walked on anyway, the image still coming out of his head. His minions followed ever onwards with tacos held high all . . . cool like . . . and . . . stuff . . .
A muffled voice yelled in the background of the Tallest area.
"HEY! He just hacked into the mainframe!" it yelled.
Red's head jerked and he stared, gobsmacked at the Irken at the front who had brought forth the news.
"What? That kooky robot?" Purple gabbled, "He hacked into the great Irken mainframe? HOW DID HE DO THAT?"
"I pressed a wrong butty-wutten!" GIR giggled, and pressed another button. The image of the Tallest disappeared and a map of the city took its place, with a green dot, a yellow dot and a bigger blue dot.
"WHAT?" Red roared, and GIR was still able to hear him in the background.
"Oopsie!" GIR squeaked, and began to skip towards Zim, who had by now stopped and was yelling at him to hurry up.
"Oo-oopsie?" Red stammered, "You - you stupid robot! You just hacked into the most sophisticated and complex mainframe computer in the Universe! NO ONE has been able to do that before, how can you, you, a delinquent, wacky Standard Information Retrieval Unit gone SERIOUSLY wrong be able to hack into it with an accidental push of a button? You have no idea how greatly you have-"
GIR found the right button to cut off the Almighty Tallest transmission, hoping to get the stupid image off of his head. Instead, he only cut off the sound and was left with the map.
He eventually reached Zim, who grabbed GIR's head and shook it.
"What's this, GIR?" he demanded, "What did you do?"
"I gotta map!" GIR replied, pointing continuously at the thing on his head, "Looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky looky look-"
"Okay!" Dib interrupted, "Fine! Whatever. A map, of what, I wonder?"
"Dib, stop talking to yourself. It must be some kind of SECRET CUNNINGLY INFILTRATED DATABASE of some sort. Maybe a - map to the Head Quarters?" Zim suggested.
"Yeah, I think you're right," Dib agreed, "But we have one of those. Do we switch it off?"
Zim swung GIR's head down to his eye level so he could inspect the map. His eyes lit up.
"These two dots - " he pointed to the smaller yellow and green dots, "They might be, yes, it would make sense anyway. Yes, this could help."
"What would?" Dib asked, "Zim, what would help? TELL ME!"
"YEAAAAAH!" GIR agreed, "I want the chicken legs! HEEEEEEEY! Why hasn't Dibby given me my pizza yet? I know it! DIB IS BAD!!"
Everyone looked at GIR and he giggled.
"Guh - heh!" he improvised, "Don't looky at me! I'm toooooo shy!"
"Yeah." Zim agreed. "Dib, I think these other two dots could be the locations of where the Almighty Tallests' relatives live."
"That don't be on a mainframe computer!" GIR squeaked, and Zim nodded in agreement for once.
"I know," he allowed, "But I think GIR has SOMEHOW got into the heavily, cleverly, ingeniously, hideously deviously and schemingly guarded mainframe information for Planet Moriara only."
Dib nodded, but didn't really agree that the mainframe files were that cleverly hidden if GIR could break into them.
"Okay," he said, "But what do they have to do with getting Gaz back?"
"They could maybe be a good source of information if it's needed. GIR! Get some of your minions to memorise it just in case it's wiped before we get back. NOW I WANT YOU TO STAY HERE, GIR. You do, you get tacos. You don't, and I'll send all your friends into the DEEPEST REGIONS OF . . . BRAZIL!" Zim warned, and GIR's camp settled themselves outside a nearby taco stand. It would keep them at bay, anyway, while Dib and Zim found the Head Quarters.
The two enemies hurried ahead together towards some kind of . . . placey. Just kiddin, it was the Irken Base on Planet Moriara, which was heavily guarded with gates and security guards, tall ones.
"WHO GOESSSSSS THERE?" one asked, very dramatically. Dib and Zim walked up to the booth it was in.
"Hi there, soldier!" Zim said cheerily, "We've come to collect our human worm baby before it shrivels like a PRUNNNE and dies. Can we get in?"
"You're Zim?" the guard asked, "Well, they said you were short but - anyway, specific orders from the Almighty Tallest state only one of you are allowed in."
"Oh yeah, they said that, huh?" Zim remembered, "Hang on while we argue non- progressively over this."
"Of course." The guard sat down again and began to chat to his companion. Zim dragged Dib over to a bank of Moriaran grass and sat down.
"Let the arguing begin, Dib-Stink," he sighed, "Who should go in?"
And so it began.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Gaz was no longer aware that she was dying, she was hardly aware of anything, but she was able to recognise that she didn't have long before something, whatever that might be, would happen.
She thought of Zim, surprisingly, and was concerned at herself at why she was thinking of him because she despised his very existence. Like she did all humans, but then, Zim wasn't human, was he? He was whatever these people keeping her prisoner were, which would have meant he might have told them to capture her, but he was here trying to rescue her, wasn't he?
Why would he get some guys to kidnap her so he could try to rescue her?
If she ever got out of this, she would have to ask him.
"Zim," she croaked involuntarily, and attempted to hit her own fist off her head but couldn't find the strength, so instead tried to sleep. It hurt to move, but she eventually found a reasonably comfortable position on her back, staring up at the shimmering bubble cage, and just before her eyes closed, she knew she wouldn't open them again.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Zim frowned. He had been expecting an argument, but not hysterics.
"She's MY sister, MY responsibility, and it's YOUR fault that she's here and no doubt you'll muck it up if YOU go in so I'M going to go in!" Dib yelled.
Zim narrowed his eyes and said nothing.
"Well come on, "Mighty Irken". Prove to me I'm wrong, tell me that I shouldn't go in. Give me reasons! GO ON!" Dib continued, his swollen eyes fit to bursting point.
Zim raised an eyebrow, keeping the other eye in a steady scowl. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, then bore his eyes into Dib's.
"Dib-Stink," he snarled, "I didn't ask to come to this civilian planet to seek your STUPID WORM SIBLING yet I did, and you insisted on coming in my Voot. I have been knocked unconscious, and what makes you think that the Almighty Tallest would not destroy you in an instant when they saw you were a human?"
"I was planning on destroying them in an instant." Dib retorted.
"HA! You make me laugh, Dib human? See? I'm laughing. You're very funny. AHEM! Are you suggesting that you can defeat the ENTIRE Irken Military, protecting the Almighty Tallest? I can persuade Gaz's release, you will ensure her destruction! Destruction is nice, but not of Gaz!" Zim left Dib gobsmacked, but he soon reco-ordinated himself.
"Why is Gaz's destruction not nice, Zim?" Dib challenged, admittedly defeated by Zim's point and was going to allow Zim to go, but not without a final word.
Zim just scowled, and walked up to the gates, turning back just before he reached them and yelled to Dib.
"Find GIR and go to the relatives! Find out . . . stuff! About how Impending Doom 2 is going, anything that will be useful in my conquest of Earth!" he told him, and Dib laughed.
"Yeah, I'm gonna help you destroy Earth, Zim! I'll find your leaders' family and will force information out of them that will help me stop you!" he retorted.
"Uh, Dib, they're Irken!" Zim reminded the silly human, and Dib looked a bit puzzled for a moment, then nodded, having obtained a sufficient comeback.
"Yeah, and if they're anywhere near as stupid as you then they'll be a great help!" he laughed, and ran off, leaving Zim growling.
Yup, he still hated that lousy human beast child.
"Silence your noise tube, human!" he screamed after him, "You have no idea what power the Irken race holds! NO IDEAA, I'm gonna kill you and then I'm going to slice you up and I'm done yelling now because you can't hear me can you Dib? CAN YOUUUU - okay."
Zim turned to the Irkens monitoring the gate, and nodded. When they didn't pay any attention he gave an even more conspicuous nod and the gate opened, he walked through in his funny little step thing when he kicked up his feet and held his head high in a very dignified manner as he went to do his duty to save . . . one of the race he was trying to destroy.
How confusing this 'like' issue was. The sooner it was over the better.
After Zim entered the building and began wandering through the complex corridors and weaving his way down endless staircases (because Zim knew that prisoners were usually held on lower levels), the two Irken-Moriaran guards held down a communication button and informed the Almighty Tallest of his arrival.
"Excellent," Red snarled, "Everything is in place. Evacuate the control room! I want it just to be me, Purp and Zim when he arrives. You hear?"
"Yes, my masters!" the employees at the front control panel obeyed, and scurried out of the door. Red looked to the tile in the corner of the room that would lower Zim to his doom. He chuckled, and looked at his colleague.
"What's wrong?" Red asked.
"I told you not to call me Purp!" Purple whined, and the more intelligent of the Tallest shook his head impatiently. Why couldn't he have been just a milimetre taller than Purple? Then it would just be him who ruled, he wouldn't have to share with this idiot. He looked at Purple and he immediately regretted his thinking that.
THEY WERE SUCH GOOD BUDDIES!
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Hey! Hey! Quit it! Quit that!" Dib yelled at GIR, who had surprisingly stayed where he had been told. Maybe Zim had some control over the crazy piece of tin after all. GIR squealed and began singing "doody doody" repeatedly, and his minions followed course, therefore resulting in a big encore of "doodies". Dib shivered and grabbed the wooky robot, dragging him along the road towards the little green dot as it was the nearest.
"Lets sing a song to keep us happy on the way!" one Irken suggested, and GIR squeaked with mirth.
"YAAAAAAY!" he agreed, "DOOOOM SONG!"
"Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom! The end!" GIR and his choir sang joyfully, making poor Dib shudder.
At last, after another round of the Doom Song and then one about tacos, they reached the flashing green dot, and the map disappeared, the projection disappearing inside GIR's head. The little tin container closed, the little cool aerial thing appearing again. The Irken-Moriaran civilians "ooohed" in awe, and began twanging the little antenna.
"WOO!" GIR shrieked, "My little head's all closed up again!"
Dib wasn't sure whether that was a good thing. He hoped GIR had memorised the map, but he wasn't counting on it. What if no one was inside the house, because that was where they were - outside.
It was like something out of a sci-fi movie, the house was round and went up about three stories. The windows were kite-shaped and the door was like a Star Trek sliding door. It had a panel to the left of the door, like in a multi story apartment, but there was only a single button beside speaker holes. Dib swallowed and pushed the button, which flashed twice before a computerized voice said:
"You have reached the home computer of Zenin of Irk, currently inhabiting this Moriaran shelter unit. Do you wish to: a) speak to the inhabitant. b) request entrance. c) sell cookies. d) force entry and kill the inhabitant mercilessly, then rob the corpse. Please state your answer in a clear voice with your head exactly six inches from the speaker."
Dib moved his head closer to the microphone and cleared his throat.
A mechanical voice said, "ALERT! Thine head is not exactly six inches from microphone. Please await assistance."
"Huh?" Dib started, when a head vice shot from the speaker and held Dib's head exactly six inches from the speaker. He spluttered and tried in vain to pull free, "What is this? Let go!"
"State your desired action," the voice told him, "a) speak to the inhabitant . . . "
"Yeah, yeah, speak to the inhabitant and request entrance to abode, whatever!" Dib yelled, very uncomfortable.
"Accessing. Inhabitant allows entry. Inhabitant currently has guest so requires your name and purpose." The computer said.
"My name is Dib," he said, "I need to see the inhabitant to discuss very urgent matters. It can't wait!"
The computer waited a moment, then the metal clamp released Dib's head, and he rubbed his jaw instinctively.
"Access allowed," the computer declared. "Please stand back, our doors will open."
"But they're slidey doors- aaargh!" Dib yelled, and as the slidey doors parted, two within them swung open and hit Dib full in his abnormally large head. He was knocked back, and GIR attempted to enter with all his minions. Dib stood up and shook his head at GIR.
"No, GIR," he said, "Your friends will have to wait outside, it's not fair on the - uh - inhabitant that we bring two hundred aliens into her house. Whichever one it is, that is. Anyway, it's not fair, GIR. But maybe we should bring one Irken civilian to show that we mean no harm and that we're not attacking her, as we are the aliens here, GIR. Or I am. Or something. BRING ONE!"
"Awwwwwwww!" GIR moaned, looking at his followers lovingly, each one shrieking, "Pick me! Pick me!" "They're all so lovely! I can't choose!"
"Fine, I will!" Dib yelled, pushing GIR out of the way, the crowd drifted over to him and lifted them above their heads. Dib shook his head. He grabbed the nearest Irken, which was about four inches taller than himself, and nodded to him.
"What's your name?" Dib asked him, not quite believing he was going to ask a member of the enemy race to help him. Zim was right about the superior race, though. The Irken Empire seemed to have an awful lot of extra planets, whereas Earth had only one planet.
"I want the Taco Lord!" the Irken squeaked, "I want to serve the Taco Lord!"
"Look, he's not - ugh! What's your name, worthy taco follower?" Dib improvised, which cheered up the Irken immensely.
"Why, my name is Shoe!" the Irken replied.
"Really? You poor guy!" Dib said sympathetically, "Well, um, Shoe, you're going to help your Taco Man."
"TACO LORD!" Shoe screamed ramdomly.
Dib blinked.
"Yeah . . . "
GIR, after being lowered to the ground at last by the crowd, began to sob as he waved goodbye. He sniveled when he reached Dib, who shook his head in disbelief.
"You'll see them again before you know it!" he scorned.
"Awwww!" GIR moaned, and Dib thought it was best to give up, so he led the wonky robot and Shoe to the door which remained open. They walked through it, and GIR ran forward and up the stairs, Shoe prancing after him merrily. Dib wished Zim were here to yell at the robot, but didn't wish Zim was there for any other reason.
Dib knocked on the door up the small flight of stairs, and it was answered by an Irken female about twice (if not more) the height of Zim. She had deep magenta eyes and would probably be called pretty in Irken terms. She was wearing a similar uniform that Zim and all the other Irkens seemed to wear, except that she had a longer piece of material at the back, quite like Tak's.
Another female Irken appeared behind her, slightly taller than the magenta eyed one, who appeared to be quite a bit older than her. She had a bent back, and Dib noticed that both of the Irkens were hovering slightly above the ground, like the leaders did. Probably because they were relatives of the Almighty Tallest, and were like a royal family.
"WOOOOO!" GIR screamed, "HI THERE!"
The younger Irken blinked, and gave a little puzzled expression, shooting a glance at the elder, who beckoned Dib, who felt very small, into the room. It was a living room, with funny pod-chairs and a large hexagon table with a ceramic vase full of strange flowers. A viewing screen was on the far wall, probably to contact the leaders of this Empire Zim bragged about so much.
"Hello," the older Irken said, once they were all seated in the pod-chairs, "Who - and what, are you?"
"I'm Irken!" Shoe said proudly.
"I know you are," she replied, "I was asking the strange white skinned creature. Is that a SIR unit?"
Dib blinked.
"What's a SIR unit?" he asked.
"Obviously not Irken," the younger one said, staring at Dib intently, making him feel uncomfortable.
"Obviously." Dib confirmed. Then, "My name's Dib. My dad's a famous scientist on Earth, where I come from. I'm a - an Earthling, I guess."
"Earth?" the older asked, a slight twinge of surprise in her voice, "I always presumed it was pronounced Ee-arth! Oh well, you learn something new every year, I suppose."
"Yeah - uh, you know about Earth?" Dib questioned. Maybe these two would be useful in telling him about the plans to destroy Earth, so he would have an idea on how to avert them.
"Not about it," the younger one said (A/N: I wish Dib would get to know their names, it's so annoying writing "younger" and "elder"!), diminishing Dib's hopes, "We just know of it."
"So you don't know any deviously clever plans I could use to infiltrate Zim's plans?" Dib said, not being able to help sounding disappointed.
"No, sorry, Div, was it?" the younger asked.
"Dib," Dib corrected.
"Ah yes. Dib. My name is Zenin, and this is my house," the older said politely, tipping her head slightly, "I am the Red Almighty Tallest's assigned grandmother."
"And I am Fia, Purple's sister. We're both next in line for the sacrifice." The younger said in a very matter-of-fact way, no trace of fear or remorse in her magenta eyes. The two were very polite for the power-mad race.
"You don't seem to be-" Dib began, not thinking of a way to finish his sentence appropriately, "As ambitious as the others."
"No, that's right, we hate the whole Empire idea. It's all very well maybe having a spare planet or two while Irk is being repaired, but there's no need for the Irken Empire to fill all the galaxies it's just stupid," Zenin said with a trace of impatience in her cracked experienced voice. Fia nodded in agreement.
"Hang on, did you say - did you say REPAIRED? Your original planet is being repaired?" Dib queried, wishing he could say this was the most bizarre thing he had ever heard. Alas, it was not.
"Yes," Fia said cheerfully, "After Zim nearly destroyed it, we had to evacuate so it could be built up again slowly. Good old Zim, he always did get right up the Tallests' noses with great skill."
Dib disallowed his jaw to drop open.
"You see, the Almighty Tallest really don't like Zim, we don't know much about it, but if they had half a chance to capture him they would." Zenin chuckled, "I don't suppose they'll have much of a chance though, will they, if he's far in the Milky Way Galaxy. Never been there myself but I've been told the rings on Saturn are just charming-"
"They want to CAPTURE Zim? And I let him go in there! Does he know?" Dib panicked.
Fia blinked and gave Zenin another glance.
" . . . No . . . And what do you mean, go in there? Where?" she asked, and her magenta eyes shone impressively.
Dib swallowed and looked around the floor. GIR was rolling around on it, Shoe doing likewise, chanting about how great and mighty the Lord of the Tacos was.
"My sister - the Tallest kidnapped my sister Gaz, and me and Zim went after her. Zim went into the building - he's in danger isn't he? Which means he won't get to Gaz! She doesn't have long left we have to go there now!" Dib twittered, becoming louder and louder each time.
"Breathe, human." Zenin said calmly, "We'll get this all sorted, now what are you here for?"
"I was here for informati - NO! We have to help Gaz!"
"What about Zim?" Fia asked.
"What about Zim? It's his problem. I came here to save Gaz, not help my sworn enemy get out of a web he caused!" Dib snapped bitterly.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAY! I'm rolling in da hay! LOOKIE AT ME! LOOOOKKKKIWOOKIE AT MEEEE!" GIR screamed randomly, and everyone ignored him except Shoe, who clapped joyfully.
Zenin tutted, and looked over to Fia, who scowled.
"Zim used to be a very good friend of mine," she snarled, her magenta eyes sparking angrily, "Small though he is, he has a unique character and could be a valuable tool for the Irken Military if Red and Purple would only let him! If Zim can't free your sister like he said he would, no one can."
Dib blinked, and had no idea what to do or say.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Zim was getting nearer, he could smell the human stench.
"Funny," Zim said aloud to himself as he walked briskly through the corridors, "I've had no problems from security, not that I would as I am ZIM! But still, these corridors are utterly DESERTED LIKE A DESERT QUAIL!"
He stopped after his little yell and descended another flight of steps, where there was a large sliding door. Zim pushed the button on the control panel and it parted from the middle, revealing another empty room.
"This room shouldn't be empty, it's the control room!" Zim cried, "What's going on? What doing is this? Tell me, someone, or a computer, or something! What's the-"
From a tile in the corner of the room, Gaz rose up on a platform and collapsed forwards. Zim rushed to her without thinking, and wanted to kick himself for showing - gulp - compassion! He patted her head awkwardly.
"Get the GameSlave . . . " Gaz croaked, "Get the Vampire Piggies . . . "
Gaz blacked out, and Zim held her in his arms, feeling very uncomfortable. She looked so helpless, something he never thought Gaz could do, she had always been so incredibly scary. Zim felt something he had never felt before inside and he bit is lip, trying to force it out of himself.
Suddenly, he felt the cold press of metal against his head. He dropped Gaz's arm and spun around, leaping to his feet and rotating all in one movement. The gun that was against Zim's Irken flesh remained there, and he moved his crimson eyes to his attacker, the purple eyed Almighty Tallest, with his colleague standing a little bit away, playing Gaz's GameSlave.
Zim gulped.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A/N: WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I love this story . . . I may like it a little more than my Ico story . . . GASP! I'm so sorry . . . but it's cool and is more like a series as this whole Moriara thing is only part of the big plot thingy.
WOO! Not giving anything away! YAAAAY! SUSPENSE!
Just like those sweet, sweet, taquitos.
Aaaaaaahhhh . . . taquitos.
Hang on, where are my taquitos?
looks around
Taquitos?
Ta-Ta -
TAQUITOOOSS!
Review.
