Doom Witch
Author's Note : Okay people, fill in chapter here which is boring but contains VITAL INFORMATION and stuff so you still have to read it with utmost vigilance and concentration and just shut up now Jed before you scare them all away okey dokey. You're not scared, are you? That's my good little minions . . . WOOOOOOOO!
Okay, READ!
By tha way, the title comes from a little thing we have up here : "Home again, home again, jiggityjig . . . " Yeah it's stupid but I thought it would be a cool name for this fill in chapter. WOOOO!
* * * * * * * * * * *
- Chapter Fourteen - Home again, Jiggityjig-
The ship landed on Earth's soil after nearly a fortnight, and Dib ran out of the ship and rolled around on the ground, knowing that as they had landed in the middle of a field no one would see them or really care. Gaz walked through into the sick bay with GIR and unstrapped Zim from the bed.
"Hello, Zim," Gaz said unenthusiastically, not meeting his eyes. It was the first time he had actually been unconscious and looked awake.
"Are we home yet?" he asked.
Gaz nodded. "Back on Earth, anyway," she told him.
Zim didn't say anything.
"Zim . . . "
"Did I pass?"
"What?"
Gaz looked at Zim in complete puzzlement.
"Did I pass the exam?" Zim pressed.
"What exam?" Gaz returned irritably. Dib walked into the room and saw the look of frustration on his sister's face.
"What is it?" Dib asked her, and Gaz turned to her brother.
"He's asking me if he passed some exam. I don't know what the Hell he's talking about." Gaz said.
"What? Aw man! He - he doesn't remember?"
"That's a bit of a presumption."
"Shut up, Gaz. Go get GIR outside along with the rest of the supplies. We're about three miles from Zim's house, we can drop him there and try and explain everything to dad and-" Dib said, and Gaz stormed off before he finished, "-get on with our lives."
Dib sighed and looked at Zim, who was sitting up on the hovering bed.
"You don't remember, do you?" Dib asked.
"I remember being in the control room and something about an exam and then I saw Fia . . . then I woke up here. What happened, Dib-stink?" Zim demanded, "I insist that you tell me details . . . GIVE ME DETAILS!" Zim couldn't yell quite as impressively evilly as normal, but that was kind of expected. Dib shook his head.
"So you don't remember anything about what happened with the Almighty Tallest?" Dib asked, disappointed for a reason he wasn't sure why. Maybe he had thought that if he was hated he would give up being an Invader.
"I saw the Almighty Tallest?"
"Never mind. Let's just get you home, okay?"
Zim scowled and Dib moved to push the stretcher out.
"Where's my Voot?" Zim asked.
"In the back. Gaz has probably let it out, it's being carried on a sort of platform thing, disguised as a large piggy."
"Ah yes, ingenious!"
Dib pushed Zim out and they met up with Gaz, GIR and the Piggy Voot Cruiser, and set off through the field, the Piggy and Zim's stretcher hovering slightly above the grape vines.
"This looks familiar . . . " Zim said to himself softly, looking over to the farmhouse nearby. "AARGH! I've been here before!"
Zim reached inside his pak and pulled out his devious disguise, placing it on his eyes and head. Dib looked at his nemesis in the weirdest way he could manage, then saw why he had reacted.
"CHUBBY LADY!" GIR shrieked, "IT'S MY CHUBBY LADY!"
Zim, GIR and the humans watched as Sim and Kel ran out of the house and towards them.
"He thinks his name is mine!" Zim cried in fury. "I AM ZIM!"
"My name is SIM!" Sim yelled, once they had reached them, "And I was kinda hoping we wouldn't see you again!"
"Hey, where's Taquito?" Kel asked, and Zim realised GIR was as a robot, not his ingenious dog costume.
"Having a . . . sleepover!" Zim improvised, and the motley crew hurried along, leaving the two stereotypical farmers behind them, Sheep the dog barking like a stereotyped farmer's doggy.
"WOOOOOOOO!" GIR screeched, "THEY MY FAVOURITE FRIENDS!"
"What about your taco minions?" Dib asked.
"What . . . who . . . OHHHH YEAH!" GIR remembered, and began to cry again while pulling on his dog disguise.
By the time they reached Zim's house it was very late and Zim was sleeping on the bed. Dib tipped him onto the couch and GIR curled up on the ground, snoring. Gaz knelt beside Zim and looked at him for a while, before turning to her brother.
"I'm gonna stay here tonight, make sure everything goes okay." She said.
"WHAT?" Dib tried to keep quiet, but he was so shocked, "Why?"
"I just told you," Gaz replied coldly.
"Fine, but I'm staying too."
"Suit yourself."
Dib went through into the kitchen, and Zim still felt human presence and forced himself awake.
"Computer!" he snapped, "Seal all entrances to the underground base."
"DAMN!" Dib swore, and came out of the kitchen, and settled himself on the floor, not too near to GIR. Gaz sat up on the sofa too and the two shared it. Zim didn't seem to mind too much.
After a while, everyone except Zim was asleep. He shook Gaz awake, a little dreadingly as he wasn't sure if she might bite him or not. She looked a little grumpy but they got talking and she eventually forgave him for interrupting her.
"Thank you, Zim," Gaz said, "I guess."
"What for, filthy human beast?" Zim asked.
"Saving my life," Gaz paused, "Dib was right, have you got amnesia or something."
"I don't know, I can't remember getting it though." Zim said thoughtfully.
"Did you save me because you like me?" Gaz pressed.
"I . . . don't know because I don't remember saving you." Zim said, after a little hesitation.
"Okay. But you like me?"
"Why is this like thing so important to everyone?"
Gaz looked at Zim. She wasn't sure exactly how to answer his question. In a tone that made him feel stupid, in a tone that made him sound right, or a tone that sounded a little hurt that he was saying stuff like that? Her head was confused when she was around Zim, she didn't want to kick anything as much, which was seriously weird. She remembered one time before when they had connected, when Zim had used his ship's grappling hook to catch hold of her ship, and she had swung the two around so they were face to face. (A/N: Bloaty's Pizza Hog episode) Was she in love with Zim? Nah, she was only eleven plus she didn't believe in this mamby pamby crap.
But she didn't want to hurt him when he spoke to her like she did when everyone else spoke to her. Except her dad, she could put up with her dad on most occasions, but then there weren't many occasions because her dad was always too busy to speak to them anyway. Poop.
"I don't know. Maybe . . . maybe because to some people it matters a lot." Gaz decided to answer like that.
"Does it matter a lot to you?" Zim asked.
"No, not really. I just wonder why I 'like' you, you're not really special or anything, no offence . . . "
"NONSENSE! I am a special soldier from the elite force of Invaders!" Zim disagreed.
"Yeah . . . whatever." Gaz leaned over as if to kiss Zim. Zim moved away, and embarrassed as Hell, Gaz sat back into her position, looking at her feet.
"Gaz-creature," Zim said softly, "I don't think . . . I don't think we should converse anymore."
"Eh?"
"I don't think we should speak anymore, Gaz. It is BAD for my reputation and BAD for yours, and all it can ever be is BAD and I have enough BAD what with your brother and a BAD robot and a damaged ship and I think you're a BAD jinx. I hope . . . I hope you understand, and if you don't then you can eat some WEBBED FISH TOES!"
"But I . . . "
"Webbed fish toes, Gaz."
Gaz nodded, and slipped onto the floor beside her brother, curling up and going to sleep there. Zim looked at her. She was just a child and he had lived for over a couple of centuries, even if he was only considered young for an Irken. Nonetheless, he watched her sleeping for the rest of the night until the morning, when she simply woke up her brother, who helped her store the Voot in the rooftop, and left without a word from either of them.
Zim sighed and decided he didn't care, then put his Nirvana on full blast, waking up GIR by doing so, which was not a good thing as he began screaming "SHAGPILE CARPETS!!!" and running around the house aimlessly bumping into random objects.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Red hadn't really budged from the control room since the whole Zim thing until the day when they had to leave for the Armada, and they went to a public signing, where they saw Zenin and Fia. They didn't speak much, there was nothing to say, and they both left that night for the Armada traveling around to nowhere in particular.
"Y'know what would cheer me up, Purp?" Red asked, and Purple's eyes glazed over, trying greatly to tolerate being called "Purp".
"What?" he said with gritted teeth, "Reddie?" He hoped that would annoy his colleague, but he didn't seem too phased by it. Purple knew he'd be annoyed if he was called Reddie, but then he wasn't, he was being called Purp which was annoying enough. ANYWAY . . .
"Well, I'd really like to think of a really well-thought through plan that couldn't go wrong. If we hired someone so dedicated they wouldn't give up until Zim's head was mounted on this wall here." Red pointed to a spot on the wall.
"Ewwww!!" Purple cried, "Red, that's GROSS!"
Red blinked at his companion.
"Yeah, sure, but it's traditional, dammit!"
"Ah, can't argue then."
"Okay, so what plan could be foolproof enough to bring Zim down?" Red murmured, "Where could I find such a person dedicated enough to pursue that disgrace? Why am I asking you? You're an idiot!"
"Awwwwww, thanks!" Purple said, clasping his claws in happiness, then got bored and chewed on a Shoe Taco.
"If we could train someone, maybe . . . from scratch to be an Invader, teach him to hate Zim so much . . . yes, that would work. So, we need to have a look at the waiting list for Invader Training Skool. Maybe there's someone that would be perfect . . . someone unlikely, that Zim wouldn't be expecting."
"Uh, Red?" Purple perked up, "What makes you think THIS one will work?"
"Because I've thought about it."
"Okay . . . "
"IIIINNNCOOOMMMINNNG TRAAANNSSMMIISSIOOON FROMMM EARTH!" the exaggerated voice came from the front of the command deck on the Massive.
"Earth?" Red panicked, "ZIM?"
"He's gonna set the garden gnomes on us, isn't he, Red?" Purple freaked.
"Greetings my Tallest!" Zim said, a little weaker than usual.
"Er . . . hello . . . " Red said, very confused. Was Zim playing a trick? Was he going to pretend everything was fine then surprise them by suing them or something? Zim wasn't getting any of their not-at-all-earned monnies, that was for sure!
"It's a funny thing, I've had the humans telling me I have lost a crucial part of my memory. They said something about you, my Tallest but I'm sure I would remember meeting you in person again!" Zim said. Purple's jaw dropped and Red snickered.
"PERFECT! I mean . . . uh . . . yeah. Funny thing these humans you dwell with. The sooner you - uh - they are dealt with, the better, no Zim? Well, you'd better get on with your mission, we're quite busy planning a little something ourselves, you know." Red told him.
"Very well, my Tallest. What, may I ask?"
"Oh, it's a surprise."
"SPLENDID! Farewell for now, my Tallest."
"Goodbye, Zim."
The transmission cut, and both of the Almighty Tallest looked at each other, and burst out into manic laughter.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Dib and Gaz returned home at around eight a.m. and Dib was ready with his fake explanation, when they met their father in the living room.
"Hello, you two!" Professor Membrane said happily, "Daz and Gib, isn't it? Where've you been all night?"
"Dib and Gaz," Dib corrected, "And dad . . . we've been away for about three and a half weeks, if not four! Hasn't the skool phoned? Haven't you been worried about us?"
"What are you talking about? I saw you just yesterday!" Professor Membrane said happily, "Now run along, I have a lot of important proper science work to do!"
"Wha - oh, alright. I'll be in my room."
"That's right, my enormous headed son."
"My head is NOT enormous!"
"Very well, gargantuan."
"It isn't gargantuan!"
"IMMENSE!"
"IT ISN'T ENORMOUS! It's just a normal head!"
"Yes, and I'm just a normal father!"
Dib gave up there, and stormed up the stairs.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Red and Purple were staring at the waiting list, with interactive profiles of the prospective students of the special Invader Skool. Many young Irkens signed up for the three-year training program with the dream of becoming one of the elite soldiers known as the Invaders. You had to pass an exam to even get on to the waiting list, and there were only six potentials, three of which were very short and ugly, so they were cast away.
"Ah, here's a very tall fellow, a Mr Goose. Sixteen Irken years, wishes to be an Invader, is prone to losing his temper and has a very short attention span . . . well we want him to be entirely focused on killing Zim. I think we have to put him from the list. Besides, Invader Goose sounds a bit stupid." Red looked at one profile and in the end tossed in into the 'no' pile.
"How about this guy?" Purple pointed to a regular heighted Irken with suspicious blue eyes, "He looks quite assassinish."
"But that's what we don't want, we want it to be a complete surprise." Red pointed out. "Besides, we don't want to train an assassin in deadly arts. He might get some ideas!" Red rubbed a claw around his throat, and Purple quickly put Mr Fig in the 'no' pile too.
"Maybe we should just pick a short one . . . " Purple sighed.
"Hang on . . . " Red said, as he read the last profile card.
"What is it?"
"This one looks good . . . a female Irken . . . fifteen Irk years . . . already a deadly shot and looks like she might be pretty loyal and keen to do work for us. Obedient and sticks to the point . . . Purp, this is what we're looking for!" Red hit the profile and the holographic image of the young Irken flickered.
"I wish you'd stop calling me that. Let me see." Purple took the card off of his comrade and looked at the picture, "She's not very tall . . . "
"Invaders are generally pretty short anyway. We could also get her to finish off Invader Tak's plan to make the Earth a snack container! I really like the idea of that." Red pointed out.
"Me too." Purple agreed, and handed the profile card back to Red, who looked at the red eyed, slightly smiling Irken with pointed antennae not unlike Tak's, except a little shorter. Her eyes weren't as pointed as Tak's but there was the slant at the top which all female Irken's had. She was probably about the same height as Tak, too.
"She reminds me of Tak," Red said thoughtfully, and looked at the bottom of the card, which was 'Next of Kin' and it said: Tak. "Oh yeah . . . that explains it. Well, Miss Jed, looks like you're about to become an Invader."
"In three years, if she passes the entrance exam and doesn't drop out and . . . " Purple interrupted.
"Oh shut up, Purp, you're spoiling the moment." Red snapped.
"STOP CALLING ME PURP!" Purple yelled indignantly, "Reddie!"
"Mm-yup, Invader Jed, has a kind of ring to it. I don't think we'll be disappointed in our young assassin, Purple. Three regular years and she'll be over there, now send a little note to our young friend informing her to get her own way to Devastis, and begin her training immediately." Red laughed manically, but was once again cut short by his comrade.
"I'm not doing it, you lazy thing, do it yourself!" Purple protested, and the two friends began fighting again.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A/N: That was a bit of a shorter chapter but it was a fill in so NYAAAAHHAAA!
YAAAAAY Invader Jed is coming into it woooo yeah tacos! She's gonna have a . . . oh I'm not telling you . . . (looks at synopsis) yeah you'll find out next chapter, it's to do with her SIR unit. The next chapter will be set three (Earth) years in the future, and you'll see what everyone has been up to, Jed will have finished her training (YAAAY I'm Jed! But it's not a character like me or anything it's just the name oh shut up Julz okay dokay!) and Zim and Dib will be 15 (or Zim is supposed to be) and Gaz is only just 13 and it's all peachy and stuff. I'm not going to tell you how old Professor Membrane if you're wondering coz that's none of your nosey . . . mucus!
HAAAAAA! Mucus!
Okay . . .
See ya next chapter DUDES!
Oh I just had to make them land in Sim and Kel's field, eh? Couldn't resist MWAHAHHAHA!!!
Review.
Author's Note : Okay people, fill in chapter here which is boring but contains VITAL INFORMATION and stuff so you still have to read it with utmost vigilance and concentration and just shut up now Jed before you scare them all away okey dokey. You're not scared, are you? That's my good little minions . . . WOOOOOOOO!
Okay, READ!
By tha way, the title comes from a little thing we have up here : "Home again, home again, jiggityjig . . . " Yeah it's stupid but I thought it would be a cool name for this fill in chapter. WOOOO!
* * * * * * * * * * *
- Chapter Fourteen - Home again, Jiggityjig-
The ship landed on Earth's soil after nearly a fortnight, and Dib ran out of the ship and rolled around on the ground, knowing that as they had landed in the middle of a field no one would see them or really care. Gaz walked through into the sick bay with GIR and unstrapped Zim from the bed.
"Hello, Zim," Gaz said unenthusiastically, not meeting his eyes. It was the first time he had actually been unconscious and looked awake.
"Are we home yet?" he asked.
Gaz nodded. "Back on Earth, anyway," she told him.
Zim didn't say anything.
"Zim . . . "
"Did I pass?"
"What?"
Gaz looked at Zim in complete puzzlement.
"Did I pass the exam?" Zim pressed.
"What exam?" Gaz returned irritably. Dib walked into the room and saw the look of frustration on his sister's face.
"What is it?" Dib asked her, and Gaz turned to her brother.
"He's asking me if he passed some exam. I don't know what the Hell he's talking about." Gaz said.
"What? Aw man! He - he doesn't remember?"
"That's a bit of a presumption."
"Shut up, Gaz. Go get GIR outside along with the rest of the supplies. We're about three miles from Zim's house, we can drop him there and try and explain everything to dad and-" Dib said, and Gaz stormed off before he finished, "-get on with our lives."
Dib sighed and looked at Zim, who was sitting up on the hovering bed.
"You don't remember, do you?" Dib asked.
"I remember being in the control room and something about an exam and then I saw Fia . . . then I woke up here. What happened, Dib-stink?" Zim demanded, "I insist that you tell me details . . . GIVE ME DETAILS!" Zim couldn't yell quite as impressively evilly as normal, but that was kind of expected. Dib shook his head.
"So you don't remember anything about what happened with the Almighty Tallest?" Dib asked, disappointed for a reason he wasn't sure why. Maybe he had thought that if he was hated he would give up being an Invader.
"I saw the Almighty Tallest?"
"Never mind. Let's just get you home, okay?"
Zim scowled and Dib moved to push the stretcher out.
"Where's my Voot?" Zim asked.
"In the back. Gaz has probably let it out, it's being carried on a sort of platform thing, disguised as a large piggy."
"Ah yes, ingenious!"
Dib pushed Zim out and they met up with Gaz, GIR and the Piggy Voot Cruiser, and set off through the field, the Piggy and Zim's stretcher hovering slightly above the grape vines.
"This looks familiar . . . " Zim said to himself softly, looking over to the farmhouse nearby. "AARGH! I've been here before!"
Zim reached inside his pak and pulled out his devious disguise, placing it on his eyes and head. Dib looked at his nemesis in the weirdest way he could manage, then saw why he had reacted.
"CHUBBY LADY!" GIR shrieked, "IT'S MY CHUBBY LADY!"
Zim, GIR and the humans watched as Sim and Kel ran out of the house and towards them.
"He thinks his name is mine!" Zim cried in fury. "I AM ZIM!"
"My name is SIM!" Sim yelled, once they had reached them, "And I was kinda hoping we wouldn't see you again!"
"Hey, where's Taquito?" Kel asked, and Zim realised GIR was as a robot, not his ingenious dog costume.
"Having a . . . sleepover!" Zim improvised, and the motley crew hurried along, leaving the two stereotypical farmers behind them, Sheep the dog barking like a stereotyped farmer's doggy.
"WOOOOOOOO!" GIR screeched, "THEY MY FAVOURITE FRIENDS!"
"What about your taco minions?" Dib asked.
"What . . . who . . . OHHHH YEAH!" GIR remembered, and began to cry again while pulling on his dog disguise.
By the time they reached Zim's house it was very late and Zim was sleeping on the bed. Dib tipped him onto the couch and GIR curled up on the ground, snoring. Gaz knelt beside Zim and looked at him for a while, before turning to her brother.
"I'm gonna stay here tonight, make sure everything goes okay." She said.
"WHAT?" Dib tried to keep quiet, but he was so shocked, "Why?"
"I just told you," Gaz replied coldly.
"Fine, but I'm staying too."
"Suit yourself."
Dib went through into the kitchen, and Zim still felt human presence and forced himself awake.
"Computer!" he snapped, "Seal all entrances to the underground base."
"DAMN!" Dib swore, and came out of the kitchen, and settled himself on the floor, not too near to GIR. Gaz sat up on the sofa too and the two shared it. Zim didn't seem to mind too much.
After a while, everyone except Zim was asleep. He shook Gaz awake, a little dreadingly as he wasn't sure if she might bite him or not. She looked a little grumpy but they got talking and she eventually forgave him for interrupting her.
"Thank you, Zim," Gaz said, "I guess."
"What for, filthy human beast?" Zim asked.
"Saving my life," Gaz paused, "Dib was right, have you got amnesia or something."
"I don't know, I can't remember getting it though." Zim said thoughtfully.
"Did you save me because you like me?" Gaz pressed.
"I . . . don't know because I don't remember saving you." Zim said, after a little hesitation.
"Okay. But you like me?"
"Why is this like thing so important to everyone?"
Gaz looked at Zim. She wasn't sure exactly how to answer his question. In a tone that made him feel stupid, in a tone that made him sound right, or a tone that sounded a little hurt that he was saying stuff like that? Her head was confused when she was around Zim, she didn't want to kick anything as much, which was seriously weird. She remembered one time before when they had connected, when Zim had used his ship's grappling hook to catch hold of her ship, and she had swung the two around so they were face to face. (A/N: Bloaty's Pizza Hog episode) Was she in love with Zim? Nah, she was only eleven plus she didn't believe in this mamby pamby crap.
But she didn't want to hurt him when he spoke to her like she did when everyone else spoke to her. Except her dad, she could put up with her dad on most occasions, but then there weren't many occasions because her dad was always too busy to speak to them anyway. Poop.
"I don't know. Maybe . . . maybe because to some people it matters a lot." Gaz decided to answer like that.
"Does it matter a lot to you?" Zim asked.
"No, not really. I just wonder why I 'like' you, you're not really special or anything, no offence . . . "
"NONSENSE! I am a special soldier from the elite force of Invaders!" Zim disagreed.
"Yeah . . . whatever." Gaz leaned over as if to kiss Zim. Zim moved away, and embarrassed as Hell, Gaz sat back into her position, looking at her feet.
"Gaz-creature," Zim said softly, "I don't think . . . I don't think we should converse anymore."
"Eh?"
"I don't think we should speak anymore, Gaz. It is BAD for my reputation and BAD for yours, and all it can ever be is BAD and I have enough BAD what with your brother and a BAD robot and a damaged ship and I think you're a BAD jinx. I hope . . . I hope you understand, and if you don't then you can eat some WEBBED FISH TOES!"
"But I . . . "
"Webbed fish toes, Gaz."
Gaz nodded, and slipped onto the floor beside her brother, curling up and going to sleep there. Zim looked at her. She was just a child and he had lived for over a couple of centuries, even if he was only considered young for an Irken. Nonetheless, he watched her sleeping for the rest of the night until the morning, when she simply woke up her brother, who helped her store the Voot in the rooftop, and left without a word from either of them.
Zim sighed and decided he didn't care, then put his Nirvana on full blast, waking up GIR by doing so, which was not a good thing as he began screaming "SHAGPILE CARPETS!!!" and running around the house aimlessly bumping into random objects.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Red hadn't really budged from the control room since the whole Zim thing until the day when they had to leave for the Armada, and they went to a public signing, where they saw Zenin and Fia. They didn't speak much, there was nothing to say, and they both left that night for the Armada traveling around to nowhere in particular.
"Y'know what would cheer me up, Purp?" Red asked, and Purple's eyes glazed over, trying greatly to tolerate being called "Purp".
"What?" he said with gritted teeth, "Reddie?" He hoped that would annoy his colleague, but he didn't seem too phased by it. Purple knew he'd be annoyed if he was called Reddie, but then he wasn't, he was being called Purp which was annoying enough. ANYWAY . . .
"Well, I'd really like to think of a really well-thought through plan that couldn't go wrong. If we hired someone so dedicated they wouldn't give up until Zim's head was mounted on this wall here." Red pointed to a spot on the wall.
"Ewwww!!" Purple cried, "Red, that's GROSS!"
Red blinked at his companion.
"Yeah, sure, but it's traditional, dammit!"
"Ah, can't argue then."
"Okay, so what plan could be foolproof enough to bring Zim down?" Red murmured, "Where could I find such a person dedicated enough to pursue that disgrace? Why am I asking you? You're an idiot!"
"Awwwwww, thanks!" Purple said, clasping his claws in happiness, then got bored and chewed on a Shoe Taco.
"If we could train someone, maybe . . . from scratch to be an Invader, teach him to hate Zim so much . . . yes, that would work. So, we need to have a look at the waiting list for Invader Training Skool. Maybe there's someone that would be perfect . . . someone unlikely, that Zim wouldn't be expecting."
"Uh, Red?" Purple perked up, "What makes you think THIS one will work?"
"Because I've thought about it."
"Okay . . . "
"IIIINNNCOOOMMMINNNG TRAAANNSSMMIISSIOOON FROMMM EARTH!" the exaggerated voice came from the front of the command deck on the Massive.
"Earth?" Red panicked, "ZIM?"
"He's gonna set the garden gnomes on us, isn't he, Red?" Purple freaked.
"Greetings my Tallest!" Zim said, a little weaker than usual.
"Er . . . hello . . . " Red said, very confused. Was Zim playing a trick? Was he going to pretend everything was fine then surprise them by suing them or something? Zim wasn't getting any of their not-at-all-earned monnies, that was for sure!
"It's a funny thing, I've had the humans telling me I have lost a crucial part of my memory. They said something about you, my Tallest but I'm sure I would remember meeting you in person again!" Zim said. Purple's jaw dropped and Red snickered.
"PERFECT! I mean . . . uh . . . yeah. Funny thing these humans you dwell with. The sooner you - uh - they are dealt with, the better, no Zim? Well, you'd better get on with your mission, we're quite busy planning a little something ourselves, you know." Red told him.
"Very well, my Tallest. What, may I ask?"
"Oh, it's a surprise."
"SPLENDID! Farewell for now, my Tallest."
"Goodbye, Zim."
The transmission cut, and both of the Almighty Tallest looked at each other, and burst out into manic laughter.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Dib and Gaz returned home at around eight a.m. and Dib was ready with his fake explanation, when they met their father in the living room.
"Hello, you two!" Professor Membrane said happily, "Daz and Gib, isn't it? Where've you been all night?"
"Dib and Gaz," Dib corrected, "And dad . . . we've been away for about three and a half weeks, if not four! Hasn't the skool phoned? Haven't you been worried about us?"
"What are you talking about? I saw you just yesterday!" Professor Membrane said happily, "Now run along, I have a lot of important proper science work to do!"
"Wha - oh, alright. I'll be in my room."
"That's right, my enormous headed son."
"My head is NOT enormous!"
"Very well, gargantuan."
"It isn't gargantuan!"
"IMMENSE!"
"IT ISN'T ENORMOUS! It's just a normal head!"
"Yes, and I'm just a normal father!"
Dib gave up there, and stormed up the stairs.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Red and Purple were staring at the waiting list, with interactive profiles of the prospective students of the special Invader Skool. Many young Irkens signed up for the three-year training program with the dream of becoming one of the elite soldiers known as the Invaders. You had to pass an exam to even get on to the waiting list, and there were only six potentials, three of which were very short and ugly, so they were cast away.
"Ah, here's a very tall fellow, a Mr Goose. Sixteen Irken years, wishes to be an Invader, is prone to losing his temper and has a very short attention span . . . well we want him to be entirely focused on killing Zim. I think we have to put him from the list. Besides, Invader Goose sounds a bit stupid." Red looked at one profile and in the end tossed in into the 'no' pile.
"How about this guy?" Purple pointed to a regular heighted Irken with suspicious blue eyes, "He looks quite assassinish."
"But that's what we don't want, we want it to be a complete surprise." Red pointed out. "Besides, we don't want to train an assassin in deadly arts. He might get some ideas!" Red rubbed a claw around his throat, and Purple quickly put Mr Fig in the 'no' pile too.
"Maybe we should just pick a short one . . . " Purple sighed.
"Hang on . . . " Red said, as he read the last profile card.
"What is it?"
"This one looks good . . . a female Irken . . . fifteen Irk years . . . already a deadly shot and looks like she might be pretty loyal and keen to do work for us. Obedient and sticks to the point . . . Purp, this is what we're looking for!" Red hit the profile and the holographic image of the young Irken flickered.
"I wish you'd stop calling me that. Let me see." Purple took the card off of his comrade and looked at the picture, "She's not very tall . . . "
"Invaders are generally pretty short anyway. We could also get her to finish off Invader Tak's plan to make the Earth a snack container! I really like the idea of that." Red pointed out.
"Me too." Purple agreed, and handed the profile card back to Red, who looked at the red eyed, slightly smiling Irken with pointed antennae not unlike Tak's, except a little shorter. Her eyes weren't as pointed as Tak's but there was the slant at the top which all female Irken's had. She was probably about the same height as Tak, too.
"She reminds me of Tak," Red said thoughtfully, and looked at the bottom of the card, which was 'Next of Kin' and it said: Tak. "Oh yeah . . . that explains it. Well, Miss Jed, looks like you're about to become an Invader."
"In three years, if she passes the entrance exam and doesn't drop out and . . . " Purple interrupted.
"Oh shut up, Purp, you're spoiling the moment." Red snapped.
"STOP CALLING ME PURP!" Purple yelled indignantly, "Reddie!"
"Mm-yup, Invader Jed, has a kind of ring to it. I don't think we'll be disappointed in our young assassin, Purple. Three regular years and she'll be over there, now send a little note to our young friend informing her to get her own way to Devastis, and begin her training immediately." Red laughed manically, but was once again cut short by his comrade.
"I'm not doing it, you lazy thing, do it yourself!" Purple protested, and the two friends began fighting again.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A/N: That was a bit of a shorter chapter but it was a fill in so NYAAAAHHAAA!
YAAAAAY Invader Jed is coming into it woooo yeah tacos! She's gonna have a . . . oh I'm not telling you . . . (looks at synopsis) yeah you'll find out next chapter, it's to do with her SIR unit. The next chapter will be set three (Earth) years in the future, and you'll see what everyone has been up to, Jed will have finished her training (YAAAY I'm Jed! But it's not a character like me or anything it's just the name oh shut up Julz okay dokay!) and Zim and Dib will be 15 (or Zim is supposed to be) and Gaz is only just 13 and it's all peachy and stuff. I'm not going to tell you how old Professor Membrane if you're wondering coz that's none of your nosey . . . mucus!
HAAAAAA! Mucus!
Okay . . .
See ya next chapter DUDES!
Oh I just had to make them land in Sim and Kel's field, eh? Couldn't resist MWAHAHHAHA!!!
Review.
