Doom Witch
Author's Note : Man I love Invader Zim. Why don't they bring it back . . . why? Please pretty please with little marshmallows on top of hot chocolate? Awww! _SEVEN MONTHS LATERONE DAY LATER
Dib gave up that night at about two a.m. and went downstairs reluctantly to fetch some water before he went off to bed. His father was in the kitchen making, surprise surprise, toast.
"Hello son!" he said cheerily, not at all concerned his fifteen-year-old son had been on the roof all night and was up very early in the morning, "Did you have a good session of your phony science?"
He laughed from the stomach, finding his joke very funny indeed, but Dib didn't really appreciate the hilarity it offered his father. He simply nodded and poured himself a glass of milk, deciding that would be more exciting than water, and sat down at the table. He sipped at the dairy product and then drank it thirstily. He stared at the empty glass, he hadn't realised he had hardly drank anything that day. He washed the glass out and filled it with water this time, and slurped it down. His father watched him proudly.
"Now that's REAL science!" his father bellowed, staring as his son refilled his glass again and again. After about four glasses, Dib felt he could stop and sat back down, surprised at himself.
"How is drinking several glasses of water real science?" he asked his father, who shook his head and waved a finger in front of his face.
"Now, now, son. I'll have no cheek from you! Now would you like some toast? It's new and improved!"
Dib sighed and nodded his head, knowing his father would go in the huff if Dib denied his precious toast. Sometimes the troubled teenager worried if his father perhaps loved his toast more than his children . . . if that was so then Dib would just have to devour ALL the toast so there was none! But then there would be no bread . . . and Dib liked sandwiches. Damn, he was screwed now, huh?
He sat for about five minutes while his father stood with his back to him poised over the toaster, ever vigilant. Dib realised that all that water had taken effect and he rushed to the bathroom. Once he had completed his business, he washed his hands and looked in the mirror at his own face, not bothering to dry his hands on a towel. He hadn't changed so much. Still the same shortness, the same distorted head, the same pointy hair his opponent despised.
When he moved back through into the kitchen, he saw his father still leaning over the toaster, but he was scratching his head in puzzlement.
"Now this is strange, not at all like Nelly at all. Come along, old girl! BRING ME THE TOAST OF GOODNESS AND . . . SCIENCE!" Professor Membrane ordered the toaster (which he had previously named "Nelly") and jumped back a little, bent over and waved his fingers at it like a wizard kind of thing. Dib looked at his father weirdly and walked over to the toaster, which was bleeping and buzzing.
"Don't go near her, son! You might hurt her with your parasciency evil karma!" Professor Membrane warned him, and Dib sighed, and shook the toaster, "NOOOOOO!" his father roared, and threw his son the length of the room and banged into the fridge.
"OW! Hey! OWW!" Dib moaned, and struggled to his feet, "Dad, you've gone . . . " Dib looked up at his father, who now had a saucepan on his head and was hitting a wooden spoon off it, "Dad?"
Professor Membrane began twittering to himself, he had gone without toast too long. Dib walked over to the toaster suspiciously, trying his very best not to laugh at the sight of his father and struggling to see the serious side of the toaster going crazy. He poked it with his finger and it seemed like it was cooking, it was hot. Trying to pull up the lever that held the toast down for the required time, Dib forced the toast out of the flipped machine and threw it down on the worktop.
Professor Membrane threw the pan and the wooden spoon away on the floor and stood up perfectly straight very suddenly, and patted his son on his enormous head.
"No, dad!" Dib warned, "Don't go near the toast!"
"That's right son, run alo - AAARGH!" the Professor screamed, looking at the charcoaled toast in horror, and Dib shook his noggin, "It's . . . horrible!"
Dib patted his father's back, wishing he could reach up to his shoulder, but he had only grown about a foot. He tried to usher the scientist away, but his dad held the sizzled bread to his eye level and felt it crumble through his gloves to nothing. His father mumbled for a moment, then struck a very dramatic pose and reached to the sky yelling "NOOOOOOO!" like in one of these very cheesy cartoons like He-Man. Except in He-Man it's always on top of a mountain or the verge of a crevasse or volcano, but this was a twenty-first century kitchen.
Dib now had no sympathy for his deranged father and got bored, but decided to have a closer look at the toaster. It blipped and Dib realised what was happening. It struck him as quickly as it had struck his father that his mum had left him . . . not very easily. Dib clambered back out into the back garden to his long-range telescope, and looked through it, dreading the sights he may see. If his suspicions were confirmed, then . . .
"AARGH!" Dib yelled, pulling away from the telescope in horror, but unable to keep himself away, he pressed his glasses against it again, ready for the sight this time. What he was looking at was the Earth's atmosphere being disturbed by a small ship that, if not seen through at telescope, looked like a shooting star, on which several people would be wishing at that very moment. The only wish that would be granted would be if you were wishing for an alien to invade and turn your world into a snack container.
What Dib saw through the telescope was a mostly red Voot Cruiser, similar to the one Zim owned in design except slightly more menacing looking. It had black engines and the rooftop was also a sleek jet-black colour. Inside was a red-eyed robot that looked similar to GIR, but looked somewhat more sophisticated. But then, anything really was more sophisticated than that idiotic robot. He also saw, in the driver seat, an enemy he had known before . . . Tak.
"AAARGH!" Dib yelled again, and increased the focus on the telescope, his mouth hanging open. He realised the reason the toaster had gone haywire was because the Voot entering the Earth's atmosphere had disrupted the electricity and this was the cause of the interference. He looked back at the ship now that he had gotten a better focus, and now realised with utmost horror and confusion, that it wasn't Tak.
She looked very much like the old enemy Zim and Dib had joined forces to defeat, except that she looked slightly smaller and had the same colour of eyes as Dib's arch adversary. What was it that Dib had heard over the transmission a few months ago?
"How long did it take Zim to get to Earth? We were hovering over Conventia then, won't it take longer now? I want him dead NOW!" The Purple Almighty Tallest had moaned. Could it be that this Irken was being sent by the Almighty Tallest to kill Zim? He also vaguely remembered something about fulfilling "her sister's evil snack plan," which had been Tak's scheme to destroy the world.
The jigsaw was forming very slowly in Dib's head. So this female Irken was coming to Earth to destroy Zim and then continue Tak's plan? This was Tak's sister? Man, these Irkens were WEIRD. Suddenly Dib realised she was heading straight for Zim's house, and saw the Irken in the ship cry out, even if he didn't hear her. The little robot began frantically searching for the problem and the alien was yelling orders to it. Dib ran inside, grabbed his trench coat, and slammed out of the door, leaving Gaz to deal with their gibbering father.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"AAAARGH!" the young Invader yelled amongst all the bleeping of her Voot Cruiser, "What's going on? What's going on?"
"Sir!" the SIR Unit answered, "We've gone off course. We are currently crash landing. WHEE!"
The Invader shook her head. Why did things have to go so wrong now, after the journey had been so successful? She shook her head at the little robot, which worked most of the time but went hyper an awful lot, even if it was for a couple of seconds. She had named it MAX and had admittedly become quite fond of her companion, but it annoyed her when it called her "Sir" and "Master".
Anyway, there was a crisis in the young soldier's hands and she didn't know how to sort it. Her co-ordinates were set on Invader Zim's base, but that wasn't where she wanted to build hers, and she wanted to be able to settle before she even thought about seeking her revenge. She had to be on top form to perform such an action, but if she crash-landed in his base then she would either be killed on impact or would have to rely on her instincts to assassinate her enemy.
She was frantically flicking through the instruction manual, commanding MAX and the Computer to perform duties to restore the Voot to its former glory, but there was no joy.
"I'm sorry, Dave, but I'm afraid I can't do that," the Computer told her, and Jed screamed at the control panel. The Computer was malfunctioning too? MAX was searching the engines for flaws, and found that they had shut off. The only thing that was working was the co-ordinate settings, which she had used to get as near to Invader Zim on this stinking planet as possible, but she didn't want her presence known. It didn't seem like she had much choice, and braced herself for the oncoming impact.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Dib rang on the doorbell frantically at Zim's house, and eventually the alien arrived without his disguise. He swung open the door and rolled his eyes in the acknowledgement of Dib's presence.
"Dib-Stink," he moaned, "What do you want? I was . . . how you humans say . . . RESTING!"
Dib forced his way into the house, and when GIR saw him he made a happy sound (like the one when Zim told GIR they were going to Mars) and zoomed over to him, hugging his legs. Dib shook GIR off and kicked him across the room.
"WOOO!" GIR shrieked, and began to dance around the room, "I'm naked!"
"Yes, GIR," Zim agreed, and shut the door with a slam. He sat on the couch, but Dib grabbed the alien's arm, and Zim cried out in protest, "Hey! Hey, Dib-child! Get your horrible humanness off of me before I get infected!"
Dib didn't let go and Zim yelled for GIR to help him, who instead simply followed them outside, where Dib eventually let go of his enemy's arm. Zim tried to go back inside, but Dib stopped him.
"Zim!" he yelled, "I don't want to be here any more than you want me to be here, but there's another of your people coming!"
"The Armada is here?" Zim yelled.
"No! It's Tak's-" Dib tried to tell him, but Zim had already lost interest.
"Yes, yes, I'm sure Tak has returned for her horrible wrath to be unleashed upon me, very nice," Zim dismissed, and Dib's jaw dropped at Zim's arrogance. He dropped Zim's arm and pointed at the Voot Cruiser, now clearly coming into view with tail fire and all, heading straight for Zim's base.
"LOOK AT THE SKY!" Dib roared, and forced Zim's head around. Zim shut his eyes and turned back to look at Dib.
"DO NOT CONTROL MY EYES!" he yelled, "I do not wish to look at your smelly, stinky sky!"
"But - but, look, Zim. Why would I come here if it weren't deadly important? Just look at the sky! I'm not going to try and sneak into your base while you're not looking!"
"HA!" Zim shouted, "Reverse psychology! Very clever, Dib, but it still does not fool my GREAT POWERS! Yes, you come here, expecting me to look at your smelly sky and you would sneak into my base!"
"NO! Zim, there is a ship flying right towards us! Just . . . goddamn it, just LOOK!"
Dib swung Zim around angrily, and before the Irken could shut his eyes he saw the Cruiser rushing down over their heads. The two enemies and the insane robot heard a cry of horror from the ship and a flash of red and black, before the ship slammed into the roof, utterly devastating the compartment where Zim kept the . . .
"MY VOOT!" Zim yelled, "MY BEAUTIFUL VOOT!"
Dib and Zim stood side by side, waiting for whatever was going to happen to happen. Suddenly, out of the smoke appeared a silhouette of a figure not so different to Zim. The Irken Invader who had been on the planet for about four years looked at Dib and swallowed.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A/N: GRRRRRR that was short! I don't like short chapters I don't! Anyway it builds up the suspense . . . or something like that. MEEP!
Next chapter : Well I think you can figure that out. Invader Jed and her SIR (named after my cat!) arrive. Will she kill Zim there and then? Or . . . not?
Review!
"Your skin, oh yeah you're skin and bones turn into something beautiful. You know for you I'd bleed myself dry." - Yellow, Coldplay.
Author's Note : Man I love Invader Zim. Why don't they bring it back . . . why? Please pretty please with little marshmallows on top of hot chocolate? Awww! _SEVEN MONTHS LATERONE DAY LATER
Dib gave up that night at about two a.m. and went downstairs reluctantly to fetch some water before he went off to bed. His father was in the kitchen making, surprise surprise, toast.
"Hello son!" he said cheerily, not at all concerned his fifteen-year-old son had been on the roof all night and was up very early in the morning, "Did you have a good session of your phony science?"
He laughed from the stomach, finding his joke very funny indeed, but Dib didn't really appreciate the hilarity it offered his father. He simply nodded and poured himself a glass of milk, deciding that would be more exciting than water, and sat down at the table. He sipped at the dairy product and then drank it thirstily. He stared at the empty glass, he hadn't realised he had hardly drank anything that day. He washed the glass out and filled it with water this time, and slurped it down. His father watched him proudly.
"Now that's REAL science!" his father bellowed, staring as his son refilled his glass again and again. After about four glasses, Dib felt he could stop and sat back down, surprised at himself.
"How is drinking several glasses of water real science?" he asked his father, who shook his head and waved a finger in front of his face.
"Now, now, son. I'll have no cheek from you! Now would you like some toast? It's new and improved!"
Dib sighed and nodded his head, knowing his father would go in the huff if Dib denied his precious toast. Sometimes the troubled teenager worried if his father perhaps loved his toast more than his children . . . if that was so then Dib would just have to devour ALL the toast so there was none! But then there would be no bread . . . and Dib liked sandwiches. Damn, he was screwed now, huh?
He sat for about five minutes while his father stood with his back to him poised over the toaster, ever vigilant. Dib realised that all that water had taken effect and he rushed to the bathroom. Once he had completed his business, he washed his hands and looked in the mirror at his own face, not bothering to dry his hands on a towel. He hadn't changed so much. Still the same shortness, the same distorted head, the same pointy hair his opponent despised.
When he moved back through into the kitchen, he saw his father still leaning over the toaster, but he was scratching his head in puzzlement.
"Now this is strange, not at all like Nelly at all. Come along, old girl! BRING ME THE TOAST OF GOODNESS AND . . . SCIENCE!" Professor Membrane ordered the toaster (which he had previously named "Nelly") and jumped back a little, bent over and waved his fingers at it like a wizard kind of thing. Dib looked at his father weirdly and walked over to the toaster, which was bleeping and buzzing.
"Don't go near her, son! You might hurt her with your parasciency evil karma!" Professor Membrane warned him, and Dib sighed, and shook the toaster, "NOOOOOO!" his father roared, and threw his son the length of the room and banged into the fridge.
"OW! Hey! OWW!" Dib moaned, and struggled to his feet, "Dad, you've gone . . . " Dib looked up at his father, who now had a saucepan on his head and was hitting a wooden spoon off it, "Dad?"
Professor Membrane began twittering to himself, he had gone without toast too long. Dib walked over to the toaster suspiciously, trying his very best not to laugh at the sight of his father and struggling to see the serious side of the toaster going crazy. He poked it with his finger and it seemed like it was cooking, it was hot. Trying to pull up the lever that held the toast down for the required time, Dib forced the toast out of the flipped machine and threw it down on the worktop.
Professor Membrane threw the pan and the wooden spoon away on the floor and stood up perfectly straight very suddenly, and patted his son on his enormous head.
"No, dad!" Dib warned, "Don't go near the toast!"
"That's right son, run alo - AAARGH!" the Professor screamed, looking at the charcoaled toast in horror, and Dib shook his noggin, "It's . . . horrible!"
Dib patted his father's back, wishing he could reach up to his shoulder, but he had only grown about a foot. He tried to usher the scientist away, but his dad held the sizzled bread to his eye level and felt it crumble through his gloves to nothing. His father mumbled for a moment, then struck a very dramatic pose and reached to the sky yelling "NOOOOOOO!" like in one of these very cheesy cartoons like He-Man. Except in He-Man it's always on top of a mountain or the verge of a crevasse or volcano, but this was a twenty-first century kitchen.
Dib now had no sympathy for his deranged father and got bored, but decided to have a closer look at the toaster. It blipped and Dib realised what was happening. It struck him as quickly as it had struck his father that his mum had left him . . . not very easily. Dib clambered back out into the back garden to his long-range telescope, and looked through it, dreading the sights he may see. If his suspicions were confirmed, then . . .
"AARGH!" Dib yelled, pulling away from the telescope in horror, but unable to keep himself away, he pressed his glasses against it again, ready for the sight this time. What he was looking at was the Earth's atmosphere being disturbed by a small ship that, if not seen through at telescope, looked like a shooting star, on which several people would be wishing at that very moment. The only wish that would be granted would be if you were wishing for an alien to invade and turn your world into a snack container.
What Dib saw through the telescope was a mostly red Voot Cruiser, similar to the one Zim owned in design except slightly more menacing looking. It had black engines and the rooftop was also a sleek jet-black colour. Inside was a red-eyed robot that looked similar to GIR, but looked somewhat more sophisticated. But then, anything really was more sophisticated than that idiotic robot. He also saw, in the driver seat, an enemy he had known before . . . Tak.
"AAARGH!" Dib yelled again, and increased the focus on the telescope, his mouth hanging open. He realised the reason the toaster had gone haywire was because the Voot entering the Earth's atmosphere had disrupted the electricity and this was the cause of the interference. He looked back at the ship now that he had gotten a better focus, and now realised with utmost horror and confusion, that it wasn't Tak.
She looked very much like the old enemy Zim and Dib had joined forces to defeat, except that she looked slightly smaller and had the same colour of eyes as Dib's arch adversary. What was it that Dib had heard over the transmission a few months ago?
"How long did it take Zim to get to Earth? We were hovering over Conventia then, won't it take longer now? I want him dead NOW!" The Purple Almighty Tallest had moaned. Could it be that this Irken was being sent by the Almighty Tallest to kill Zim? He also vaguely remembered something about fulfilling "her sister's evil snack plan," which had been Tak's scheme to destroy the world.
The jigsaw was forming very slowly in Dib's head. So this female Irken was coming to Earth to destroy Zim and then continue Tak's plan? This was Tak's sister? Man, these Irkens were WEIRD. Suddenly Dib realised she was heading straight for Zim's house, and saw the Irken in the ship cry out, even if he didn't hear her. The little robot began frantically searching for the problem and the alien was yelling orders to it. Dib ran inside, grabbed his trench coat, and slammed out of the door, leaving Gaz to deal with their gibbering father.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"AAAARGH!" the young Invader yelled amongst all the bleeping of her Voot Cruiser, "What's going on? What's going on?"
"Sir!" the SIR Unit answered, "We've gone off course. We are currently crash landing. WHEE!"
The Invader shook her head. Why did things have to go so wrong now, after the journey had been so successful? She shook her head at the little robot, which worked most of the time but went hyper an awful lot, even if it was for a couple of seconds. She had named it MAX and had admittedly become quite fond of her companion, but it annoyed her when it called her "Sir" and "Master".
Anyway, there was a crisis in the young soldier's hands and she didn't know how to sort it. Her co-ordinates were set on Invader Zim's base, but that wasn't where she wanted to build hers, and she wanted to be able to settle before she even thought about seeking her revenge. She had to be on top form to perform such an action, but if she crash-landed in his base then she would either be killed on impact or would have to rely on her instincts to assassinate her enemy.
She was frantically flicking through the instruction manual, commanding MAX and the Computer to perform duties to restore the Voot to its former glory, but there was no joy.
"I'm sorry, Dave, but I'm afraid I can't do that," the Computer told her, and Jed screamed at the control panel. The Computer was malfunctioning too? MAX was searching the engines for flaws, and found that they had shut off. The only thing that was working was the co-ordinate settings, which she had used to get as near to Invader Zim on this stinking planet as possible, but she didn't want her presence known. It didn't seem like she had much choice, and braced herself for the oncoming impact.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Dib rang on the doorbell frantically at Zim's house, and eventually the alien arrived without his disguise. He swung open the door and rolled his eyes in the acknowledgement of Dib's presence.
"Dib-Stink," he moaned, "What do you want? I was . . . how you humans say . . . RESTING!"
Dib forced his way into the house, and when GIR saw him he made a happy sound (like the one when Zim told GIR they were going to Mars) and zoomed over to him, hugging his legs. Dib shook GIR off and kicked him across the room.
"WOOO!" GIR shrieked, and began to dance around the room, "I'm naked!"
"Yes, GIR," Zim agreed, and shut the door with a slam. He sat on the couch, but Dib grabbed the alien's arm, and Zim cried out in protest, "Hey! Hey, Dib-child! Get your horrible humanness off of me before I get infected!"
Dib didn't let go and Zim yelled for GIR to help him, who instead simply followed them outside, where Dib eventually let go of his enemy's arm. Zim tried to go back inside, but Dib stopped him.
"Zim!" he yelled, "I don't want to be here any more than you want me to be here, but there's another of your people coming!"
"The Armada is here?" Zim yelled.
"No! It's Tak's-" Dib tried to tell him, but Zim had already lost interest.
"Yes, yes, I'm sure Tak has returned for her horrible wrath to be unleashed upon me, very nice," Zim dismissed, and Dib's jaw dropped at Zim's arrogance. He dropped Zim's arm and pointed at the Voot Cruiser, now clearly coming into view with tail fire and all, heading straight for Zim's base.
"LOOK AT THE SKY!" Dib roared, and forced Zim's head around. Zim shut his eyes and turned back to look at Dib.
"DO NOT CONTROL MY EYES!" he yelled, "I do not wish to look at your smelly, stinky sky!"
"But - but, look, Zim. Why would I come here if it weren't deadly important? Just look at the sky! I'm not going to try and sneak into your base while you're not looking!"
"HA!" Zim shouted, "Reverse psychology! Very clever, Dib, but it still does not fool my GREAT POWERS! Yes, you come here, expecting me to look at your smelly sky and you would sneak into my base!"
"NO! Zim, there is a ship flying right towards us! Just . . . goddamn it, just LOOK!"
Dib swung Zim around angrily, and before the Irken could shut his eyes he saw the Cruiser rushing down over their heads. The two enemies and the insane robot heard a cry of horror from the ship and a flash of red and black, before the ship slammed into the roof, utterly devastating the compartment where Zim kept the . . .
"MY VOOT!" Zim yelled, "MY BEAUTIFUL VOOT!"
Dib and Zim stood side by side, waiting for whatever was going to happen to happen. Suddenly, out of the smoke appeared a silhouette of a figure not so different to Zim. The Irken Invader who had been on the planet for about four years looked at Dib and swallowed.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A/N: GRRRRRR that was short! I don't like short chapters I don't! Anyway it builds up the suspense . . . or something like that. MEEP!
Next chapter : Well I think you can figure that out. Invader Jed and her SIR (named after my cat!) arrive. Will she kill Zim there and then? Or . . . not?
Review!
"Your skin, oh yeah you're skin and bones turn into something beautiful. You know for you I'd bleed myself dry." - Yellow, Coldplay.
