A Time to Heal
Part 1: Steel
Disclaimer: All characters and locations herein are the property of Tamora Pierce. Plot and actual written words owned by me. Written for the Dancing Dove's First SFF Challenge.
A late autumn sun shone through the heavy velvet draperies of the royal bedchamber, its brilliance giving the illusion of warmth. Entombed in down quilts and silk comforters, Queen Thayet the Peerless watched the rays of light enter her room, touching everything in it with gold, feigning interest. In truth she was only waiting, waiting for the fulfillment of a promise, as her ears picked up the sound of footsteps in the outer corridor, three empty rooms away.
A lady's maid opened one wing of the chamber's great oaken doors and curtseyed. "Majesty, Lady Alanna of Pirate's Swoop."
"Admit her," ordered Thayet.
A woman entered the room, clothed in cotton and steel, ashen streaks in her fiery hair. "Good morning, Majesty," she said as she unclipped the scabbard of her sword and put it gently aside.
"Good morning, Lady Alanna," replied the queen.
The maid shut the door.
"How are you feeling?" asked Alanna. "How did you sleep? Any fever, chills, dizziness, headaches?"
Thayet shook her head.
"Any pain or numbness in your leg?"
"None."
"Good," said Alanna briskly. "Get up."
She pulled the covers off the queen and held both her hands as Thayet gingerly puled herself up to a sitting position, swung her single leg off the bed and, leaning much of her weight on the other woman's grip, stood up. Without warning Alanna let go of her right hand and Thayet teetered briefly, before reaching for a tall cane that rested against the wall.
Alanna watched her patient adjust her bearing to accommodate the substitute limb. When she saw that she had found her balance, she released her other hand. Thayet perched, cane in hand, head held aloft. Poised and ready for anything, thought Alanna. As ever she was. It was almost enough to hide the chasm that stretched from the floor to where her silk breeches were rolled up and pinned with a garnet-studded brooch.
The healer frowned quizzically. "Better than last week, but not good enough," she decreed, and walked a step backwards. "Come to me."
Her movements were maddeningly slow and filled with effort. First she lifted the cane off the floor and, trying not to lose her balance, set it as far ahead of her as she dared. Then, holding it with white knuckles, she dragged her good leg an inch or so forward. Then she moved the cane ahead again, and let her body catch up with it. It seemed to take eternity. Maybe because every time she got near, Alanna took another step back.
"Good," said the healer encouragingly. "Very good. You can go a little faster now. Come on."
And so the queen, dragging her leg, walked in a snail's pace less than halfway across the royal bedchamber. She tried to hide the heaving of her ribs, ignore the sweat that broke on her face, but could not. "That's enough," decided Alanna. Picking out a chair, she set it before Thayet. "Sit."
Her hand slid a breadth down the cane as she bended her one knee and carefully lowered herself onto the cushioned seat. Then she took the cane with both hands and set it on the floor at her foot, readily within reach. She heaved a huge sigh and rubbed her stump. Alanna kneeled beside her, looking worried.
"Does it hurt?"
Thayet shook her head. "No," she lied.
The other woman watched her face intently.
"It hurts that I'm reduced to this," confessed Thayet bitterly. "It hurts that I have to learn to walk and dress myself. That I must endure any number of treatments on a daily basis, lest my muscles decay and keep me from ever regaining my mobility. That this has been going on for nearly three months and I'm still not strong enough to leave my room. Worst of all it hurts that this ordeal should fall to me at a time when I was certain I had it all."
Alanna nodded.
"I feel like I've been punished," continued Thayet. "I was so sure of myself, so confident. Everything was going well. Before I came to Tortall, I had no chances. But since I met you, the world has opened up to me. When I first saw you I was sure that you had everything I wanted and would never have. But I found it, I found it! Imagine, to become a warrior at twenty five!
"Everything was going so well. The Riders thrived, the children were happy. I was loved and cherished and needed. I was useful. And now… We went to the Healer's Ward, sometimes, to visit the injured there. I spoke with the invalid knights there, and thought I understood. But I never really feared this, because I was so certain it would never happen to me."
"I know," said Alanna. "One never considers, when one is young… I dreamed of getting my shield, I never thought I'd be ready to lay it down. I never knew I could be too tired to lift a sword."
"But you still heal," insisted Thayet. "Duke Baird says he doesn't know how he managed before you. Roald told me so."
Alanna shrugged. "It feels different," she said. "I suppose it's nice to have the time for my Gift that I never had before, and it's good to live near the children, and old friend… Things change. I'm different now than I was before I came to live in Corus."
"At least you still do something with your life," said Thayet. "Nothing is left of me that can be of any use."
Alanna looked her over critically. "Thayet of Tortall, wallowing in self-pity?" she said. "I never thought I'd see the day."
"I'm not -- " started Thayet defensively. Then she stopped and sighed.
"Thayet of Tortall," said Alanna again. "The queen, the diplomat, the mother. The Peerless, undefeated by any ills that may befall her."
"I can't find her anymore." She lowered her face into her hands.
Alanna reached up and touched her shoulder, and Thayet's head dropped to rest on that hand, so warm and comforting. She stretched to stand on her knees, putting her arms around Thayet who reached out with her own arms around her. They stayed that way for a few peaceful moments before Alanna began to pull away.
Silently, Thayet's fingers stroked her cheek. She leaned forward and touched her lips to Alanna's mouth and felt her return the kiss. When she let go, Alanna touched her fingertip to the corner of Thayet's eye, brushing away the seed of a tear that threatened to fall. She kissed her again, quickly, before helping her walk back to her bed.
When the queen lay safely under wraps again, Alanna sat down on the bed beside her.
"Will you come again tomorrow?" asked Thayet.
"Yes," promised Alanna. She pressed her one last kiss and left.
Thayet remained in the room where she was not, watching the sun's rays light the furniture and wondering if one of her children might come and visit her today.
