Doom Witch

Author's Note: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh my God. I am so sorry my people. Don't eat me, okay? Just don't eat me. I'm so sorry my beloved, lovely lovely people. This is a chapter worth waiting for, I promise. This is where it lifts off. Oh my God I am so sorry, but I kinda, y'know, need to pass my prelim exams! I mean, if I flunk my English exam then how will my morale stay high enough to want to write for all you wonderful people? You so need to forgive me, and if any insanity is caused then I'll . . . get my dad to pay for it. Please forgive me, I love you all and if you leave me now I'll cry lots and lots.

But really this is the first time I've been on the Net for ages. I really need to pass, people! So bear with me, okay? And I'll give you lots more! Just . . . be nice. This has been updated with as much love and joy as I can muster, and I wrote this when I had my one day off . . . sick with the cold! So you better be grateful that I love you all, okay? OKAY??

Okay. Now review. I'm sorry. Let's all hug and be happy . . . mmyep . . . *sneezes*

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- Chapter Twenty-Seven -Trapped Inside A Boiling Boiler Room-

Bursting out of the side door very dramatically, Zim spun his torso round to the right. Nothing. He turned to the left and gave a little yell of fright at what he saw. What he saw was Tak and her SIR Unit MiMi, both out of their disguises and looking more Irken and insane than ever. Tak gave Zim a nasty, ironic smile which made his insides squirm. His blood froze when he realised Jed was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Jed?" he demanded angrily, speaking through his teeth. Even GIR looked a little uncomfortable by his side.

"Wherezeego? Where'd my MAXEEEEEEEE go? I wanna know! Oo look . . . Masta! There's a banging from the roomy! WHEEEEEE HOOOO!" GIR shrieked and began to dance, pointing towards a large metal door Zim recognized as the skool boiler room. He took a tentative step towards it, but the main problem for not getting there was because Tak and MiMi were in the way.

"WHERE'S JED?!" Zim repeated, louder and angrier than before. Tak only smiled wider, and when Zim began cursing her persistently she raised her hand for silence, and Zim obeyed. Sure enough, he could hear faint banging and swearing and gun firing from inside the small metal room.

Zim tried to run forward to get to Jed, yelling out her name, but MiMi leaped right into Zim and knocked him down. GIR squealed, "Ohmeeeegoodness! Where's a master? WHERE'S HE GOOO?"

"GIR!" Zim snapped, jumping to his feet as quickly as he could, "GIR! Go and get Gaz and Dib. The miserable humans are a part of this too, I may be able to use the Earth-boy to distract Tak. GIR saluted and banged into the wall, then giggled and went through back into the skool by the door, next to which Dib and Gaz were already standing at arguing, Dib had Gaz by the arm. GIR bumped right into Dib and he looked down at him with a look of disgust, but GIR giggled shyly and waved at him.

Seeming to remember why he was there, GIR's eyes turned red again and he said, "My master wants you to go help him eat Tak. On ya go!" he pushed Dib and Gaz through the door before Dib could protest. GIR followed after them and plopped himself on the ground; but not before grabbing himself a paper cup full of punch.

He offered it to Zim, and then Tak, but when both refused he burst into tears for a period no longer than two seconds before he slurped it down in one and fell asleep. Dib kicked GIR distastefully.

Tak looked at her enemies, standing in a line. She whipped out a ray gun from her I.D. Pak and pointed it straight at Zim. This was all just a nasty case of de-ja-vu with purple eyes for Zim, who said nothing. But Dib, on the other hand, looked like he had plenty to say, but he was having difficulty getting his mouth to form any sort of articulate noise other than "Ta-Ta-Ta-" which he repeated continuously.

"Yes, Dib-Stink, it's Tak, we all got that you filthy little . . . tree- hugger!" Zim snapped sideways at his mortal enemy. Tak was his more- immortal-than-mortal-cos-she-lives-much-longer-but-is-still-mortal mortal enemy, but if Zim was going to die here then he wanted to get a few insults shot Dib's way as well as Tak.

"I'm not-what're you . . . I DON'T HUG TREES! And my head's not big either!" Dib exclaimed, then looked a little embarrassed for a second before he received a particularly evil look from Tak and fell silent. He realised this was not only because Tak hated him, but because no one had said anything about his abnormally sized head. "Okay," he whined apologetically, "I'll shut up now. Right?"

The atmosphere didn't really brighten up after that little interlude, I mean, they were all there because they loathed each other, right? And when a bunch of people all loathing each other get together, there's no telling what might happen! Oooo it's all nasty I tell you. Don't trust someone that's holding a gun. And definitely don't piss them off. That's my advice to you, and Dib was certainly beginning to piss Tak off, and we all know what a scary temper she's got, don't we? *knowing glances all round*

"Right. Now that little weasel's shut up, we can get down to the serious stuff, like killing you all," Tak growled evilly and shot an exceedingly hateful glare at Zim, who obligingly returned the forceful gesture with his eyes almost narrowed shut, the angry vibes being sent tenfold in Tak's direction.

Also coming from Tak's direction were the distinct banging noises from behind her in the boiler room. Tak smiled softly as she watched logic take over Zim's power-crazy mind as he slowly realised who it was that was in that room, and she enjoyed watching his expressions change from furious to confused and then finally, her favourite, fearful.

"What, think I'd kill my own sister, Zim?" Tak snapped at him, his jaw almost dropping open. He hesitated to answer her for a second before scowling and looking more angry than ever, his legs spread apart and his fists balled by his sides tensely, his teeth gritted hard.

"I wouldn't put it past you, you wormy little worming wormful wormer . . . worm!" Zim improvised through his hatred and panic, still keeping his eyes on the door of the boiler room, desperately trying to see what was going on. Well, I'm going to let you see what's going on in that very boiler room Zim was worried about, so let's go there . . . um . . . okay.

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Jed wasn't alone in that boiler room. I mean, she had MAX with her, and all the really, really hot water tanks that needed to power the school and stuff, but there was someone else there. Another Irken. That "special prisoner" Tak was bringing as another bit of bait she could torture our little Zim with. Jed realised who this character was, as everyone knew who she was, and it's been a while seen we've seen her, but she was there now.

"Lady Fia?" Jed gasped, wiping her large green forehead with the back of one glove sleeve, "Of the Royal Family? What . . . what are you doing here?"

Fia laughed quietly, her magenta eyes fixated on the steaming containers, and the little tin can conversing with them on the ground. "I wish I knew," she sighed, "Tak came to my house one day saying she needed to speak to me urgently, the next thing I knew I was locked up in a spaceship helm and we were on our way here. I think she's seeking revenge on Zim or something."

Jed rolled her eyes, "Of course she is . . . Your Majesty, that is. She swore revenge on Zim when he defeated her four years ago. The Tallest sent me, oh, I wasn't supposed to demote the Tallest in front of you, was I? Oh."

"No, I'm glad you did," Fia startled Jed by saying, then laughed again, "you see, three years ago Zim rescued Gaz from the Tallest when she was taken to Moriara and me and Zenin helped him. The Tallest tried to kill him there, you see, but he forgot all about it. He doesn't . . . he doesn't think the Tallest hate him, he just refuses to believe it."

Jed stood wide-eyed and thoughtful for a few minutes, taking in what Fia had said. She didn't have time just now to worry about the whole Gaz thing, even though that made her extremely jealous that Zim would go to rescue her, but that Zim wouldn't accept the Tallest hated him was an entirely different matter, and somewhat more serious.

But of course the most serious thing going on at the moment was the fact that both Fia and Jed (as well as MAX, but he doesn't feel heat) were getting dehydrated and felt their heads spinning as they became dizzy with the sudden high temerature.

"We need to get out of here quickly," Jed notified urgently, and Fia nodded in agreement. Jed grabbed MAX by the head and quickly recoiled with a sharp yell of pain, as her SIR Unit was extremely hot. She nodded, because she just realised they really needed to get out of there, but she couldn't really be bothered repeating herself.

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Zim, unlike Jed, was very bothered about repeating himself since he had been threatening Tak for the past ten minutes with very much the same phrase, "Let her out of there you dirty moo-hog or I'll eat your socks which are very dirty also" a phrase which here means "Please let my girlfriend out of that boiler room or I'll discriminate your underwear".

After once more repeating this phrase (just for our benefit) Tak laughed nastily and shook her head, "Well I'm certainly not going to keep them in there forever, am I?" Zim narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"By 'them', you mean Jed and MAX, right?" he asked. Tak smiled slyly, and Zim felt Dib fidgeting next to her. It was then the original Irken Invader first realised that he was standing on the same side as the humans, under the same threat as the humans, except that the gun was in his exact direction. It wasn't the first time he had been under attack by those haunting large eyes, even if they had been different colours . . .

"Oh no Zim I brought a little friend with me, one of your friends, to be more specific," Tak snarled, sounding a little cliché and Zim frowned, confused, "she's quite tall," Tak added with a little sigh, as if disappointed Zim hadn't gotten it before, as if he had gone down in her expectations. But Zim got it now and his eyes widened again as he mouthed the word silently (that's 'Fia' you doheeds).

This shock made Tak laugh nastily again (she's gotten an awful lot happier since last time) but only made Zim angrier. He felt a gentle human hand on his shoulder and he turned his head slightly, not trusting either Tak or himself enough to look away from the female Irken. It was Gaz, and she didn't say anything, but she dipped her head and her eye kind of slipped into his, as if he could see what she was thinking and vice versa. Turning away in an awkward kind of gesture, Zim returned to his helpless situation of not really being able to do anything.

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Getting a bit more desperate than they were two minutes ago, Jed, Fia and especially MAX (with his mighty guns) were blasting with guns out of their Paks, but the metal was very strong and their guns should have blasted through it no problem but the conditions being so hot and the inhabitants becoming so weak it wasn't much good.

"Uh," Fia said, leaning against the door with the horrible sweat dripping from her brow, "that wasn't much good since we're so weak as the conditions being as hot as they are."

Jed nodded agreeably, "I know," she said, "the metal is so strong but our guns should still blast through it no problem but the conditions being so hot . . . ah forget it. You know what it's all a-"

Jed didn't finish her sentence, because right then her eyes glazed over and closed as she sank into the pit of darkness we know as unconsciousness, very suddenly. Fia kind of cried out in a frantic way seeing Jed lying on the ground with her mouth slightly open. MAX however, freaked out, and in his craziness he used all his force to bash against the door with his guns and his little metal body until the door came crashing down with a huge thud.

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A/N: Woosh! Didn't that all happen quickly? Again, sorry for the non updateness it'll be a bit iffy oinky for the next wee whiley but just bear with me okay? Thanks so much guys!

"And I never meant to cause you trouble, oh no I never meant to do you wrong, oh and if I ever caused you trouble, oh no I never meant to do you harm," - Trouble, Coldplay.