Steve was relieved to see Doc Bergman arrive at the hospital the following morning. He had been in Maui and cut his vacation short when Dr. Branson called. Finishing a phone call to Chin, Doc waved to let Steve know he would be going directly to see Danny. Dr. Branson was already in the room and talking with Danny. Throughout the day yesterday, Danny became more and more awake. He continued to be disoriented and didn't appear to be as alert as Dr. Branson had hoped, so he was anxious to see if Danny had progressed any during the night. He never revealed his fears to the Punana's and to his knowledge, neither did Steve.
As Doc entered the room he saw Dr. Branson leaning over Danny talking quietly to him. Danny, his voice hoarse and raspy, continuously called out just above a whisper as he slowly regained consciousness, "Steve....Steve."
"Mr. Williams, you're going to be fine. You're in the hospital, but you are going to be OK." Dr. Branson had repeated this several times yesterday, he felt it was necessary to tell his patient again.
Dr. Branson turned to the nurse and nodded his head toward the door in a gesture to locate McGarrett quickly. As the nurse left, Dr. Branson stood and acknowledged Doc. "Nice to meet you Dr. Bergman. Let me update on our patient here."
Doc came closer to Danny as Dr. Branson began to give him a brief diagnosis of Danny's condition and quietly expressed his concerns. Doc watched Danny as a second nurse attended him. Danny was awake but still disoriented. Something about Danny seemed odd to him...something not right. Before Steve came into the room he began to question Danny in an even tone as softly as he could.
"It's OK, you're OK. You just need to relax and be calm."
Within seconds Danny stopped.
"Do you know where you are?"
"Hospital," was the slow and tired response.
"Where?"
"Hawaii."
"Do you know who I am?"
Struggling to search his memory, Danny slowly and painfully answered, "No."
This alarmed not only Doc, but also Dr. Branson.
"My name is Doctor Bergman...," he almost added that he was Danny's private physician but decided against it.
"Do you know your name?"
Steve came in the room and stopped when Doc held his hand up.
Once again struggling with his memory Danny looked at Doc with the strangest expression on his face, "Mr. Williams."
"What is your first name?"
For several minutes Danny struggled with the question. He didn't know the answer. The other Doctor had called him Mr. Williams, but he wasn't sure if that was right. A wave of desperation came over Danny and he reverted to the only thing that came to his mind.
"Steve?"
"Is that you're first name?"
Confused Danny wanted to scream but he couldn't. His throat was extremely sore and it was agonizingly painful just to speak.
"Steve...Steve," Danny began to repeat again.
Doc motioned for a confused Steve to join him. He touched Danny's shoulder and asked if he knew the man.
Danny noticed the pain in the man's eyes and the confusion. He desperately wanted to know who he was. He felt as though he did know him...but how...where. Danny closed his eyes as he understood he didn't know the man, himself, his background or much of anything. He knew names, but no faces connected to them. Somehow he also knew he had a life...but nothing about it. This realization was more frightening than anything he ever experienced. He was embarrassed and ashamed as he felt tears running down his cheeks. Despite that he forced himself to open his eyes. Instead of chastisement of how weak a man he was...he noticed that both men were fighting to hold back their own tears. He felt an attachment to them, mostly to the taller man beside the Doctor. Somehow Danny felt safe and his embarrassment leave...instead it was replaced with pain, an emotional pain as he admitted, "No, I don't know who you are. I'm so sorry, but I don't..."
Steve reached out to Danny and squeezed his arm gently. He smiled at Danny as he desperately fought the tears through his mixed emotions. Joy and relief that Danny was awake...fear and pain that Danny obviously suffered from amnesia.
"It's OK. You'll know soon enough." Steve gently answered, his voice revealing the emotions going through him. "My name is Steve. You're name is Danno."
Exhaustion seemed to flood in on Danny. He fought to stay awake but he wasn't winning.
"Steve." Danny said. Steve came closer to his friend and whispered.
"Go to sleep Danno. We'll work through this. I promise you'll be just fine so don't worry."
Danny knew somehow the man was as good as his word and fell into a peaceful sleep.
******
By the early hours of the next morning, Danny was fully conscious but appeared to still be confused. After what took place the previous day, Steve was frightened. He was relieved to see Dr. Branson in earlier than usual and even more relieved to see Doc with him.
"Steve." Doc smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "Hope you don't feel as rough as you look." Doc said seriously.
"I'm fine Doc. Just worried."
"I understand that. Why don't you grab a cup of coffee and meet us in the waiting room after we finish examining Danny?"
"You know how I am with waiting Doc," Steve reminded Doc in a serious tone as he walked out of the room.
It seemed to take a lifetime before the two doctors joined him in the waiting room. The manner of their approach convinced Steve the news was not good.
"I've asked for another x-ray of his skull so that is what took so long. It confirmed that there is no damage to the brain." Dr. Branson reassured Steve.
Steve closed his eyes and held on to the chair next to him as he sighed a sigh of relief. "But there is a problem."
"Yes, there is a problem. The amnesia Mr. Williams is suffering from is severe. What he knows and doesn't know is yet to be determined. The more the swelling goes down, the more he should regain his memory. However, with Mr. Williams, the swelling has already gone down a good bit and yet he appears to have a near total memory loss. This concerns me a great deal."
Steve looked up in shock. "Total memory loss?"
Dr. Branson continued, "He knows that he is in Hawaii, that he was born and raised here. But he doesn't know his name and he has no idea what island he is on...or even what island he was born on. I asked him about you, he seemed comfortable when I mentioned your name, but he didn't know why."
"Steve, he recognizes most names," Doc added before Dr. Branson made the situation appear completely helpless. "He recognized Clara, Joey and Mei. Even Chin, Kono, Duke, and Jenny. But, again he didn't know how he knew them. He wasn't able to describe any of them. He couldn't even describe himself."
Dr. Branson knew Doc wanted to protect Steve. But he didn't want to create a false hope. "Mr. Williams had no idea of his hair or eye color, or that he has curly hair. I can't tell you how disturbed he was as he looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize himself."
As Steve looked at Doc, he saw in his eyes confirmation of what Dr. Branson was saying and the extent of it. "If there is no injury to the brain, then what would cause it?"
Doc took Steve to the side and spoke quietly to him. "Steve, you told me about the situation Danny was found in. Do you have any idea what happened?"
"No, to be honest with you I haven't pursued it...I got so absorbed with what was going on with Danno. I never checked with HPD to see how the investigation was going."
"We need some details. And I want to call in a psychiatrist." Doc said as delicately as he could. Dr. Robert Stephens is one of the best. In fact he's here at Queens which would mean he could be immediately available."
"What!?" Steve asked in alarm. "Why...why a psychiatrist? What's wrong with Danno is that he has a brain injury Doc! Last time I noticed, shrinks can't help with that! Danno isn't suffering from depression, he's suffering from a physical injury. Besides, I've met Stephens and I don't like him!"
"OK. Then what about Dr. Jack Crayton?
"Is he out of school yet?"
"Dr. Ming?"
"A woman? You expect Danno to open up to a woman?"
"Then how about Shepherd, Inman, or Oli?" Doc asked sarcastically.
"Danno doesn't need a psychiatrist! He just needs time and people who care!" Steve's emotions and fatigue were wearing him down and he didn't care who he took it out on.
"Steve, physically he's recovering...and quickly. But the amnesia is still with him. If the amnesia were a physical problem, it should be clearing up...I believe we are dealing with an emotional problem. There are several excellent psychiatrists on staff here and I believe as soon as we get someone for Danny, the better off he'll be." Doc tried to explain.
"Doc, there is nothing wrong with Danno mentally!" Steve demanded.
"Stop it Steve!" Doc shot back surprising even himself. "Think about the situation Danny was found in. It is more than apparent that he must have been forced to witness the assault on that poor girl. His wrists alone tell you how desperate he must have tried to get free so he could help her. You think you could just walk away from all that. I don't know what happened...and I'm not a cop, but even I can figure that much out! He needs help....and I want the best. With or without your permission...I'm calling someone in."
"Doc..." Steve felt his hands were trembling and hoped no one could see them. "Danno...he's ohana...I don't want him to hurt."
Realizing that it wasn't that Steve was opposed to a psychiatrist...instead he was frightened. Frightened for Danny and for himself. "I don't want him to hurt either." Doc replied gently. "That's why I want to get him the help I feel he needs. Steve you must have gotten help after your experience in the Korean war? There is emotional pain involved that's true. But what kind of life would you be leading now if you hadn't received help?"
"And just how do you know that? I've never mentioned having psychiatric treatment to you!" Steve asked defensively.
Doc put his hand on Steve's shoulder and once again allowed compassion to lead the way. "No one goes through a torture experience and comes out okay without help Steve. And the torture you went through IS something you mentioned to me before."
All of Steve's defenses were immediately dropped. 'What if Doc's right about Danno,' he thought to himself. 'And if he is then I want someone I know and trust...only the best will do. But will he be able to do it?' "All right Doc, you could be right. There is someone I know and would like to try and get for Danno. I'll put a call in today and see what I can do."
"Steve, this can't wait. Who do you have in mind?"
"The man who treated me."
"Is he still in the military?" Doc asked grateful that Steve was beginning to think more clearly.
"Yes, but I know I can get the Governor to request approval for him to work with the State on a case. This incident is now an official State investigation and that means that Danno is now an official witness into that investigation."
******
Steve was grateful that the Governor acted quickly on getting authorization for Lt. Commander Benjamin Miller to work with Danny. He didn't offer an explanation but he knew the Governor knew what was going on.
Steve kept in touch with Benny on occasion, in an unofficial capacity of course. He had even discussed Danny before. Times when Danny had encountered problems and Steve needed advice on how to help him cope. Benny needed no encouragement to take Danny on as a patient, the fact that Steve had asked was enough for him.
Danny's foster family, the Punana's, were in the waiting room watching Steve pace as they all anxiously awaited word from Dr. Miller. If it weren't for the severity of the situation, Doc thought he could laugh at the scene in the waiting room as he, Dr. Miller, and Dr. Branson entered.
Not one to linger Benny went straight to the issue at hand. "I have no doubt that the head injury caused Danny's amnesia and that he has suffered emotional trauma." Knowing that the Punana's were not briefed on what exactly happened to Danny he was careful with what he said. "What happened to him was traumatic and adds to the amnesia."
"So what do we do?" Alan Punana asked not sure he fully understood what the doctor was trying to say.
"We have to help him. Danny will begin to recall bits and pieces of his life. This is done by seeing familiar faces and places. Stories of events in his life can also trigger his memory. This will need to happen gradually, we need to slowly work with him to a point emotionally where he can recall on his own what happened to him. It will be a group effort. Try not to tell him more about his life than what he's able to handle. But should he ask questions, answer him. If he asks then it's a sign that he's ready to know."
"What if he asks about the incident?" Steve angrily shot at Benny.
"If you don't believe that Danny can get better Steve, then don't go around him. He has to be surrounded by positive attitudes." Steve's frustration and fear were not lost to Benny. But no way would he let it infect others. Everyone needed help to get through this. Rather he realized it or not...Steve needed help also.
"I'm sorry Benny. I'm...well, I just wish Danno wasn't having to go through any of this." Steve was surprised that he admitted this to himself, much less to everyone in the room. Swallowing his pride slightly, he asked "So, what if Danno asks about the incident?"
"Don't talk about it until I say it's OK. And tell him that if you have to. Tell him I have advised you not to discuss it. Don't dance around an issue and don't lie to him. If you're not sure how much you should say about something...then just say what you're comfortable with."
Everyone seemed to understand and prepared to do what they could to help Danny. "There is no way Danny should be alone. Until I say, he shouldn't be alone at any length of time at all. He doesn't need someone watching his every move...but someone should be in close proximity to him. I believe he should stay away from his home where he is most likely to be constantly confronted with people or situations that he can't recall or handle yet. People he meets, phone calls, unexpected visitors would only add to his frustration and I feel that would hamper any progress. Staying somewhere other than his home would help to deter any of that. He also needs to be someplace quite...where the activity level is low and comfortable."
"That leaves our house out," Mei replied disappointed. "I keep my grandchildren during the day. That and Tommy is visiting us. He was a foster child in our home years ago. He just got home from Viet Nam and is staying with us while he's on R&R."
"Not my apartment," Kenny answered thinking of the constant calls and visits due to his environmental activities and causes.
"David and Alan both have children and Amy has such crazy hours," Mei added.
"Are you all finished?" Steve asked grinning.
Everyone looked to Steve knowing what he was going to suggest and not believing they hadn't thought of it sooner.
Looking to Benny Steve answered, "Danno will stay at my beach house. The only time anyone calls is when they know for a fact I'm there. Everyone knows to call me at work or at my apartment. Danno loves the beach and the area is quite and peaceful. I can be with Danno unless we get a case that needs my attention. If that happens, I'm sure there would be enough volunteers who can be with him."
"We could even take turns staying with Danny," Mei added excitedly.
"No!" Benny stopped her before the conversation could go further. "Until he begins to remember on his own, he should really be limited on whom he is with. We shouldn't bombard him with too many people at once. Give him time to get used to his situation...we will gradually introduce him to others unless he asks specifically to see someone."
This nearly brought tears to Mei's eyes. The thought of not being allowed to see Danny was more than she thought she could handle.
Benny reached out to Mei and patted her hand. "I can't imagine what this is going to put you through...all of you. But I really feel that we need to give Danny time and space. With all that he's been through, it's important he's given time to work everything out."
Everyone agreed except Steve. He knew Benny was holding something back. After everyone had left he confronted him, "I don't follow you Benny." Steve asked frustrated. "Why does Danno need to go slow? Why can't he stay at his home where he might remember quicker since he'll be in familiar surroundings?"
Benny wasn't surprised by the questions or the frustration. He knew Steve well and was prepared for this. That was one reason he waited around as long as he did. "The events Danny was undoubtedly forced to watch and experience, had to have been emotional torture. If there had been no physical violence to him personally...he was still forced to witness a heinous atrocity. That in itself would cause a person great emotional turmoil. In some cases it could even possibly become a form of amnesia on its own. It's like it would have been a desperate unconscious attempt to put what they saw from their minds. And for someone such as Danny, it could be worse."
"How so?" Steve asked intrigued.
"Being a police officer of his caliber and not able to help the victim would most definitely add to the emotional anguish." Benny sat down on the corner of an end table and explained further. "The head injury inflicted on Danny was enough to cause amnesia due to the swelling of the brain. If there were no emotional trauma attached to the injury, he would most likely be walking out of the hospital today. But...there was emotional trauma. I think the injury created the amnesia and the emotional trauma refuses to allow his memory to function properly. Because of the two combined, not only can he not recall the events surrounding the incident...but he can't recall anything and there's no way of knowing when he'll get his memory back."
Steve felt a tingling sensation up his spine at Benny's last statement. He hated not having control of a situation. Especially where Danny was involved.
