Birthday Surprises Chapter 31

Usual disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue. Please. Wish it were mine though. Ah, if only… Lolly, xxx.

"It's…..Hermione." Tonks said.

"Are you sure?"

"Well, that's what Fudge told me."

"He could have been lying."

"I know, but would he? What's the point?"

"It can't be Hermione." Harry muttered.

"Why not?"

"I don't know, but it's just..…a feeling….."

"Fatherly intuition?"

"Something like that. Fudge lied to you."

"I guess I maybe shouldn't have taken his word for it, but I guess I thought he wasn't mean enough to lie."

"This is Fudge we're talking about. Damn him. I don't suppose you know any way of finding out who really is the mother?"

"Not really. Do you know how they picked her? I mean, was it random?"

"No. Apparently they looked for someone who I was compatible with. Hermione's saying that we should test my compatibility to every girl in Hogwarts - well, maybe not every girl, but you know……"

"I'll try and get some answers. But first we have to rule out Hermione. Maybe we should do that compatibility test straight away." Harry nodded.

"Shall we go now? This might take a little explaining."

"Yeah."

When Harry explained to Hermione about what Fudge had said, she looked incredibly shocked. He hurried on to explain that he thought that fudge had lied, but either way, they needed to be sure. "Will you do the test?" He asked.

"Of course - I mean…don't take this the wrong way, but I'm really not ready to be a mum."

"I know. Right - what do we need to do?"

"Well, I'm not really sure. Tonks, any idea?"

"Not really. I was a tomboy at school - would Ginny know?"

"Maybe - I'll go and ask her."

"Right."

Ginny was recruited into helping test Harry and Hermione's compatibility. Harry was almost certain that they weren't very compatible at all, but they were just making sure. Ginny had brought through a pile of girly magazines, and her, Hermione and Tonks were looking through those as Harry searched through spell books. It was Harry who found a likely looking spell first - anyone could cast it, as long as they had the full names and the dates of birth of each person.

"They must have spent ages working this out." Harry said with a frown. "There must be a quicker way."

"It doesn't matter, we only need it once right at this moment." Hermione said, looking half scared and half relieved. "What do we do?"

"Someone has to do the spell, then write our names and dates of births on a piece of paper. Tap the paper three times, repeat the spell and a percentage should appear. Who wants to do the honours?"

"You can." Hermione said, her hands were shaking so much that she didn't think she could hold a quill, let alone write with one.

"Fine." Harry said. He followed the instructions in the book and waited for a moment. "Fourteen percent compatibility." Harry grinned, looking incredibly happy. It wasn't that he didn't like Hermione, but he certainly didn't like her in that way.

"Oh thank goodness!" Hermione said, throwing her arms around his neck. "Not that I have anything against you or anything……" She began.

"No, I understand, believe me I do. You're one of my best friends, but there is no way……you're like my little sister." Harry shuddered horribly and everyone laughed.

"I'm sorry I wasn't of much help." Tonks said, as she got ready to leave.

"That's ok. It's not your fault that Fudge is a lying……anyway, it's not your fault."

"No, well I'll try and get some answers for you. In the meantime, perhaps you could think about who the Ministry might have tested first."

"Ok then. Thanks for everything. I mean it."

"I've told you, it was all worth it. And thank you for my photo - it will take pride of place in Grimmauld Place, I assure you."

"Right." Harry said, wondering briefly what Sirius would have thought of the whole affair. "I'll see you soon, ok?"

"You bet - I might come and see you off to school. Anyway, I have to go - lots of work to do, you know."

"Yeah, I guess you have. Bye."

"Bye Harry."

Tonks knew exactly what she was going to do - she was on shift at the Ministry that night, and therefore had access to the file room. She would look through the 'recent births' file and see if there was any information on them in there. If she had no luck, she would have to pay Cornelius Fudge a little visit.

Hermione suggested that they try Cho's compatibility with Harry, as she was a likely choice, being his ex. Harry reluctantly agreed, hoping with all his heart that it wasn't Cho. Hermione did the test this time, and took a few minutes before saying anything. The look of disappointment on her face made Harry's heart sink to his shoes. Was it really possible that he and Cho were well suited? He doubted it, but then again…

"Two percent compatibility." Hermione said. Harry let out a deep breath and laughed.

"What a relief."

"I thought you'd be glad if it was Cho." Hermione frowned.

"Why?"

"Well, you did go out with her……you must have liked her."

"Yeah, I did at one point. Now……I can't say that I'd be devastated if she hated my guts. Not that I'd really blame her, but anyway……"

"Why would she hate you? I thought she was always kind of hung up on you - like when you went out with Hannah for that while - she was really jealous."

"Nah, I think she was just a little surprised that I was over her." Harry said. He liked Cho, really he did, but she had grown accustomed to having boys drop at her feet, especially after Cedric's death. She had been a little shocked to find that she got no reaction at all from Harry when she starting dating a Slytherin boy in her year.

"You know her better than I do, but……I don't know. Maybe she was just shocked that you didn't like her anymore."

"Anyway, now that that terrifying idea is out of the way, what do we do now? Test my compatibility to Hannah?"

"I suppose."

"I wish I could do the spell - I hate being the youngest." Ginny pouted. Harry grinned at her.

"You're not the youngest - the triplets are. Though they have a year or two before they can do any magic at all." He said reasonably.

"Yeah, but I was talking about Weasleys." Ginny muttered.

"Ah, fair enough. You never know, maybe Bill or Charlie will have kids soon."

"Or Fred or George." Hermione said.

"Oh, you have to pity the women that get Fred and George." Ginny laughed.

"Anyway, maybe we should test you two." Hermione suggested. Harry looked between the two of them - Ginny was looking murderous.

"Umm…I guess." Harry said. "But I thought we were testing Hannah first?"

"Oh yeah, so we were." Ginny said, looking mildly relieved.

"Can we come in?" Remus and Ron asked from the door.

"Sure. We're just testing my compatibility to half the world." Harry murmured. "Do you know that Fudge told Tonks that Hermione was the mother?" Ron paled and stared between them.

"Uhh…that's great." He said, looking as if the words were painful.

"It is." Harry said. "Oh, stop looking at me like that - Fudge was lying, you idiot." Harry said with a grin. Ron hit him over the head, looking immensely relieved.

"That really is great." He said.

"Yeah, but it still means that we have no idea who their mother is - we did find out that Harry and Cho are not compatible. No wonder that didn't last." Hermione said.

"It was the black hair." Remus said with certainty.

"Oh, don't start that again." Ginny moaned, putting her head in her hands.

"Don't start what again?" Harry asked.

"You want to test some redheads - Potters generally have a thing with redheads."

"Well Hannah had reddish-brown hair." Harry said. He knew exactly where Remus was going, and was doing his best to get him right off of that track.

"Reddish-brown?"

"Well that makes sense - Cho has black hair, so she's very incompatible with you. Hermione has brown hair, so she's incompatible - have you tested Ginny yet?" Ron said. It was Harry's turn to groan.

"No. We haven't tried Hannah yet. Besides, maybe if we started with my ex-girlfriends. That's probably where the Ministry started." Harry said.

"Don't you want to do the test with me?" Ginny asked, her voice carrying a slight warning tone. Harry stared at her for a moment, lost for words.

"I never said that - besides, it was you that looked as if you didn't want to take the test."

"So you don't want to take the test?"

"Hold on - I still never said that. I can't win here, can I?"

"No, you can't." Ron said. "So, what is this test all about?"

"As long as you have the name and dates of birth of two people, you can see how compatible they are."

"Oh yes - I remember James and Lily taking that test. Or rather, Sirius took it for them." Remus said. "I believe they got two hundred and three percent."

"Wow, a whole two hundred and one percent more than me and Cho." Harry grinned.

"Two percent? You have a two percent compatibility with your ex girlfriend?"

"Yeah - I guess that's why she's my ex." Harry grinned. "Anyway, Hannah's next."

"Thirty-one percent." Hermione said.

"Getting better."

"She's the one with the reddish-brown hair?"

"Yeah. Oh, maybe you should try Carmen."

"Carmen Yates? The Ravenclaw?" Ron asked in surprise.

"Yeah." Harry muttered, glowing red.

"What colour of hair does she have?" Remus asked.

"Blonde." Ron said. "You never mentioned that you went out with her."

"I didn't……not really anyway."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that they kissed a few times, but it never really went anywhere." Hermione translated.

"How do you know?" Ron spluttered.

"Because I know you and Harry." Hermione replied smugly.

"Ok, enough about Carmen." Harry said loudly. "Eighteen percent."

"Don't you have a girlfriend just now?" Ginny asked suddenly.

"Oh - you mean Sally. No, we broke up just before the summer." Harry said, "And before you ask, she did have red hair."

"When is her birthday again?"

"Eighteenth of December." Harry said.

"Oh - forty percent. That's quite good, I suppose."

"Hermione, that's rubbish and you know it."

"Ooh, I know - Parvati." Ginny said happily.

"Six percent."

"Thank goodness."

"Lavender!"

"Three percent."

"Pansy Parkinson."

"Negative sixty percent."

"Now that's a relief." Ron said to Harry.

"Erm……oh, how about Ellie - Ellen Borwen?"

"Hmm - what's her date of birth again?"

"The twenty-third of October."

"Twenty-eight percent."

"Maybe you should think in terms of redheads. They seemed to be doing quite well." Remus suggested.

"Yeah, it must be Ginny's turn by now." Before anyone could protest, or accuse him of anything, Harry did the spell. Then he did it again, just to make sure. Hermione also did it.

"Well?" Ginny asked impatiently. Harry met Hermione's eyes and handed Ginny the piece of parchment.

"Great Merlin." Ginny muttered weakly. Harry thought that was a slight understatement.

"Well?" Ron wanted to know.