Birthday Surprises Chapter 35
Usual disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue. Please. Wish it were mine though. Ah, if only. Lolly, xxx.
Ok, I know that you all hate short chapters, so here's another one - another short one, granted, but hey, it's two chapters in one day! Anyway, please review. Oh yeah, and enjoy...
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His two hours were almost up, he thought to himself. The triplets would be waking up any time now. He decided to stay just a little longer - it was so peaceful, in the cool night. He couldn't remember the last time he had just sat and thought. Alone. He loved his children dearly, but he was still seventeen, had a rather large mound of problems, and needed some time to think on his own, without having to explain to anyone. His head snapped up suddenly, feeling someone elses presence. "Hello?" He asked, gripping the athame very tightly.
"It's me." Ginny choked out, gazing anxiously at the dagger. Harry dropped his hand to his side.
"You sure? No Polyjuice potion or anything?"
"No. Just me." Ginny said sitting next to him. "What are you up to?"
"Not a lot - thinking." Harry said. Ginny met his gaze and stared into his green eyes. They looked scarily deep and full of so many different emotions.
"About what?"
"Everything." Harry said. "Voldemort, the kids, you, me, Hermione, Ron, the DA, school, Tonks, Remus, Sirius." He stopped at his godfather, pausing to think about him for a moment. He missed him so much it was like a constant ache. "My parents. Katie, Lee, Ernie, Susan, Zacharias."
"Stop. Think about the good things - think of the people who haven't died. Think of the people you've saved."
"Me?" Harry scoffed.
"Yes, you. I know how much you hate it, but it is true - only you can't see it. I'm alive because you saved my life."
"Wormtail's alive because I saved him." Harry countered. "And he went straight off to Voldemort to bring him back to his body again."
"You couldn't have done anything to change that." Ginny murmured.
"I know. I know all this, but..it's not enough."
"Why?"
"Because all of those people that died had family - and it hurts to lose family. It hurts more than anything else in the world." Harry said. His gaze returned to the water, to his own eyes, now sparkling with tears. "I have to go - the kids are awake."
"D'you want a hand?"
"Nah, you get some sleep." Harry said. He wanted to be alone again - he needed to be alone to keep what little sanity he had. "Goodnight." With that, he disapparated up to his room, and Ginny saw the light click on. She watched as Harry picked up one of the triplets. Ginny couldn't make out his expression in the distance, but she knew that he wouldn't be in the best of moods at that moment.
***
That night, as he lay awake, Harry made a list of the dead. He found that it helped release some of the anger and hurt that he had been feeling, and it cleared his head. Most disturbingly, it took almost an entire hour to write all the names. There were too many. Far too many. As he wrote, he mourned their loss and paused to think of their families. At the very top of the list, he added one word. Remember. He would always remember. The victory that he had been searching for wasn't just his - it would belong to every person murdered by Voldemort, not to mention those scarred for life because of him. This victory would belong to everyone - everyone that had fought. Everyone that had risked something for the sake of good. As he sat at his desk, he memorised the list he had made. He wasn't naïve enough not to leave extra space for those others who would surely die between now and the end. Until then, he would wait, and he would plan, and he would see this thing through. He would win. He would win because there was no other way. No other option.
Usual disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue. Please. Wish it were mine though. Ah, if only. Lolly, xxx.
Ok, I know that you all hate short chapters, so here's another one - another short one, granted, but hey, it's two chapters in one day! Anyway, please review. Oh yeah, and enjoy...
*********************************************************************
His two hours were almost up, he thought to himself. The triplets would be waking up any time now. He decided to stay just a little longer - it was so peaceful, in the cool night. He couldn't remember the last time he had just sat and thought. Alone. He loved his children dearly, but he was still seventeen, had a rather large mound of problems, and needed some time to think on his own, without having to explain to anyone. His head snapped up suddenly, feeling someone elses presence. "Hello?" He asked, gripping the athame very tightly.
"It's me." Ginny choked out, gazing anxiously at the dagger. Harry dropped his hand to his side.
"You sure? No Polyjuice potion or anything?"
"No. Just me." Ginny said sitting next to him. "What are you up to?"
"Not a lot - thinking." Harry said. Ginny met his gaze and stared into his green eyes. They looked scarily deep and full of so many different emotions.
"About what?"
"Everything." Harry said. "Voldemort, the kids, you, me, Hermione, Ron, the DA, school, Tonks, Remus, Sirius." He stopped at his godfather, pausing to think about him for a moment. He missed him so much it was like a constant ache. "My parents. Katie, Lee, Ernie, Susan, Zacharias."
"Stop. Think about the good things - think of the people who haven't died. Think of the people you've saved."
"Me?" Harry scoffed.
"Yes, you. I know how much you hate it, but it is true - only you can't see it. I'm alive because you saved my life."
"Wormtail's alive because I saved him." Harry countered. "And he went straight off to Voldemort to bring him back to his body again."
"You couldn't have done anything to change that." Ginny murmured.
"I know. I know all this, but..it's not enough."
"Why?"
"Because all of those people that died had family - and it hurts to lose family. It hurts more than anything else in the world." Harry said. His gaze returned to the water, to his own eyes, now sparkling with tears. "I have to go - the kids are awake."
"D'you want a hand?"
"Nah, you get some sleep." Harry said. He wanted to be alone again - he needed to be alone to keep what little sanity he had. "Goodnight." With that, he disapparated up to his room, and Ginny saw the light click on. She watched as Harry picked up one of the triplets. Ginny couldn't make out his expression in the distance, but she knew that he wouldn't be in the best of moods at that moment.
***
That night, as he lay awake, Harry made a list of the dead. He found that it helped release some of the anger and hurt that he had been feeling, and it cleared his head. Most disturbingly, it took almost an entire hour to write all the names. There were too many. Far too many. As he wrote, he mourned their loss and paused to think of their families. At the very top of the list, he added one word. Remember. He would always remember. The victory that he had been searching for wasn't just his - it would belong to every person murdered by Voldemort, not to mention those scarred for life because of him. This victory would belong to everyone - everyone that had fought. Everyone that had risked something for the sake of good. As he sat at his desk, he memorised the list he had made. He wasn't naïve enough not to leave extra space for those others who would surely die between now and the end. Until then, he would wait, and he would plan, and he would see this thing through. He would win. He would win because there was no other way. No other option.
