Alchemy
Written for Charlotte McGill on the occasion of her thirteenth birthday

Featuring as requested: James, Sirius, the Philosopher's Stone and a very large explosion [Remus/Sirius slash too because I was pressed for time and they're v easy to write]

Author's note: The ultimate "Plot? What Plot?" I feel rather guilty about writing something that is so blatantly slash for someone so young but I am comforted to know that today's young people are so open minded *laughs* besides… I rather enjoyed writing it.


Remus was reading again.

And across the other side of the common room, Sirius Black was watching him reading again.

He was finding it rather dull truth be told, because when Remus was reading he absentmindedly chewed his quill, occasionally took notes and turned over pages; what he did not do when he was reading was pay attention to Sirius. This particular book was large and very old and, Sirius was pretty sure, less interesting than him. It was all very unfair.

Remus was also wearing his reading glasses which he insisted on pushing up his nose every time they slipped back down. The whole reading process was in fact extremely annoying and Sirius decided to fix it by dumping himself in Remus' lap and kissing the tip of his nose.

"Hello," Remus said, and tried to see around Sirius to where the book still lay, invitingly, open.

"Interesting book?" Sirius asked, with an air of nonchalance that suggested he wasn't sprawled over his boyfriend's lap. Remus raised an eyebrow, possibly to save the breath involved in saying "Sirius please get off me, I'm trying to read."

Sirius grinned and turned around, rather enjoying his new position and read: "'The ancient study of alchemy is concerned with making the Philosopher's Stone'…" he read and turned back to where Remus was trying unsuccessfully to scowl at him. "Fascinating stuff."

"It isn't," Remus informed him dryly. "Its mind destroyingly, spirit crushingly boring which is why I'd really appreciate it if you'd go away."

"Since when has 'destroyingly' been a word?" Sirius asked politely, removing those maddening glasses and dangling them above Remus' head.

"Just invented it." Having played this game before, Remus didn't even bother reaching for the glasses before he started tickling his lover. "Give them back."

Keeping his hands in the air Sirius brushed his mouth across Remus'; "can't invent words."

"Paddy," Remus protested, against Sirius' lips, laughing. "I have to read this before tomorrow."

"So?"

"So?! You're a little distracting."

"A little?" He probably realised this had been wrong thing to say as Sirius grinned wickedly. "Obviously I'm not trying hard enough." Abandoning the glasses on the table behind him his hands moved to Remus hair, tangled in it and brought him, rather less unwillingly, into another kiss.

"Siri… I have… to work," Remus managed.

"Mmm, ok" Sirius agreed, smiling as he felt Remus' arms fingering his own hair and his objections crumbling.

"Honestly, don't you two do anything else?" Peter asked from the doorway.

Their two other best friends waved cheerfully at them from the doorway.

Sirius shifted abruptly to one side and tried to look innocent. "I don't know what you're talking about Pete. I happen to be studying."

"Ah yes…studying" James commented with a grin, abandoning his school bag along side one of the armchairs. "But class, the question we have to ask ourselves is: what, exactly, is he studying?"

"Alchemy," Sirius told him, knowledgably as Remus mimed whacking his head against the table top. "For example, Jamie, did you know that 'there have been many reports of the Philosopher's Stone over the centuries but the only Stone' that's with a capital S 'currently in existence belongs to Mr Nicolas Flamel, the noted alchemist and opera-lover'?"

Peter's laughter drifted over the sound of his words as the small boy settled himself on the floor.

James lounged in his chair gracefully. "Yes I did."

"No you didn't!" Sirius insisted, with a laugh. "Don't lie to me Prongs."

James snorted. "Flamel lives about two miles away from my house, Paddy. I'm surprised you've never met him: lovely old bloke: enjoys gardening to the sound of Madam Butterfly, keeps the Stone in one of his flower pots… probably the begonias."

Remus started sniggering.

Sirius ignored him and focused, pointedly, on James, a grin edging round his mouth and rather ruining the effect. "Lives in Devon, does he?"

James nodded helpfully, smiling. "I go over there quite a lot during the holidays. His wife thinks I'm adorable and keeps baking me cookies."

"Why have you never taken me to see these people?" Sirius asked aghast. "I'm far more adorable than you."

Remus shook his head in amazement. "The chance to converse with one of the most powerful wizarding figures of our age doesn't intrigue you in the slightest… on the other hand they offer you free food and you're off like a shot."

"That's about right yes."

Remus laughed. "You're incorrigible."

"Thank you."

"He has no idea what that means," James remarked lazily. "And in self defence I would like it known that I didn't only go for the free cookies, delicious though they were-"

"She made lemonade too, didn't she," Remus deadpanned.

A pillow thrown with chaser's skill pelted towards him. Remus caught it and threw it back at James who wasn't prepared and was smacked in the face by it.

"Always said you should be a keeper…and ok so she did make lemonade but I also learnt a hellava lot from Nicolas who helped me pass Ancient Runes last year so there." He stuck his tongue out.

"Mature," Sirius Black, mental age: approximately three, pointed out with a smile. James threw the pillow back at him. It hit him in the face.

"Well done James," Remus said.

"For the throw or the learning?"

"Both," Remus laughed. "Now will you all please go away."

"Where?" Peter asked morosely. "It's raining."

"Go annoy someone else," Remus suggested helpfully. "The Slytherins perhaps." Then quickly: "And take Sirius with you."

The eyes of the Marauders lit up simultaneously. "Actually I had a brilliant idea last night," Peter confided excitedly. "James, we'll need the invisibility cloak."

"No problem." James withdrew it from one of his numerous pockets and started to the door. "Let's go." Sirius left a quick kiss on Remus' nose and bounded after them with a loud "wait for me!"

The common room was quiet again.

*

Remus was still reading when he returned, beaming and covered in black powder that had mysterious appeared after a very large explosion.

He kissed the nape of Remus' neck covering his eyes with soot smothered hands. "Guess who."

"Hmm… I wonder," Remus remarked ironically. "Could it be… Sirius?" His eyes were uncovered. "Had fun?"

"Of course. Brought you a present."

He deposited something large, round and white on top of Remus' book.

"A toilet seat," Remus observed, pushing it off his work with a laugh. "Sirius you are too kind, how did you know?"

"Intuition."

"I see," Remus said as Sirius slid onto his lap once more and removed his glasses.

"What lovely eyes you have Mr Moony," he declared gallantly.

"All the better to see you with."

"Finished your work?"

"I've done enough." Arms wrapped around Sirius' neck. "Where did you leave Prongs and Wormtail?"

Sirius broke the mood by sniggering. Quickly he tried to rein in his glee and sound repentant as he said seriously: "The sound of the seventh year Slytherins' toilet exploding attracted a number of people's attention… they may be running very fast away from McGonagall at the moment but I couldn't be sure." Remus ducked his head with laughter and nestled his head in the hollow of Sirius' neck, laying soft butterfly kisses. "Not back for a while then?" he murmured into Sirius' skin.

Sirius' fingers caught his chin and raised his gaze until Remus' eyes met his, sparkling. "Not yet anyway."