The Day the Moon Shines
By: deep.Indigo

Chapter 20: Tentai yo, Doushite Kono Yo ni Watashi ga Iru no
(O Heavenly Bodies, Why am I in This World)








The moment he had been dreading was fast approaching...but there was little Ramirez could do now but wait for it. He sat at his desk, staring emotionlessly at the wall, his hands folded on his lap, Ilazki lying flat in front of him.

Soon, he would return to that place, where he had been born, where he never wanted to return. He could only imagine how the Elders would react... He had failed in his duties. No, he had always intended to fail them...

Of course, Fina had failed as well, but she wouldn't be punished. She wouldn't be so much as scolded. It wasn't her fault, after all; the loss of the Moon Crystals was due entirely to him. And besides, unlike himself, she hadn't deliberately "failed". Of course, she also didn't know a thing about the truth of her mission. Considering her words yesterday, he truly doubted she would have followed through if she had...

He blinked, an odd thought occurring to him. /...I was told the truth, and shortly after descending to Arcadia, I deliberately cut contact with the Elders./ He leaned forward, leaning his elbows on the desk and his chin on his folded hands. /...The easiest way to prevent a repeat of a possible mission desertion would be to conceal the truth.../

That, he decided, would be logical...and they had apparently done it. Sighing, Ramirez closed his eyes. He would just have to steel himself; after all, what did they mean to him? He had separated himself from them... Whatever they would have to say wouldn't come as any surprise, anyway. He could hear their berating, though truthful, words now... The young Silvite sighed. Life just seemed to get worse and worse every day for him...

"Not that I have a right to complain," he mumbled to himself, knowing it was his own fault. He shouldn't have gone up against Lord Galcian. He shouldn't have cared about Vyse. He had failed, in more ways than he could list.

He chuckled darkly to himself. /I'm pathetic.../

A knock came at the door then. "Come in," the white-haired swordsman called robotically, knowing it would be Vyse.

The door opened to reveal that he had been right. "Ramirez, we're getting ready to go now," he said, taking a step inside. "Will you get prepared and come with me?"

He stood and picked up his sword from the desk, knowing full well he would not need it, but wanting to at least have that faithful blade by his side. He turned, and said, "I am ready."

Vyse nodded, apparently unsurprised that that was all the preparation Ramirez needed. "You're going to apologize to Fina before we go, right?" he added, his tone brooking no argument.

"Yes," the Silvite replied bleakly.

"Let's go, then," he said, turning and walking out, and Ramirez silently followed.

Meeting up with the rest of his friends, Vyse headed up towards the bottom harbor, where Fina's ship had be prepared the previous night.

"Just give me a moment and I'll have it ready," Fina smiled to the others, trying to hide her anxiety, before heading to the ship.

"Go help her," Vyse prompted Ramirez softly as she stepped onto the silver vessel. "You used to have one of those ships too, right?"

He knew his help would be unnecessary, as she'd have it running in a moment, but seeing the prompt for what it was, he grudgingly joined her.

"Ramirez," she said, startled, when he stepped onto the ship with her.

Deciding that now was as good a time as any to do as he had been ordered, the former Admiral said, his tone lacking any true emotion, "Fina. I apologize for my words the other day."

She stared at him for several seconds, the sudden words throwing her off, before she averted her eyes. "Ramirez..." she murmured. "You don't have to force yourself."

"I'm not," he replied, which was true. He never had to force himself to follow a command.

She held her hands to her chest briefly before quickly turning back to the controls wordlessly. As he predicted, before he would have had the time to step up next to her, she had the ship humming softly.

She turned and called to the others, "I've got it running, now!"

The three of them boarded, crowding the already cramped vessel; Fina was at the front before the controls, Aika and Gilder stood across from each other in the middle, and Vyse and Ramirez occupied the rear. The ship soon set off, leaving the dock with a trail of multicolored sparkles behind it, and sailed swiftly through the murk under Glacia.

As the ship rose through the sky, Ramirez gazed silently over the edge, watching the earth below rapidly disappearing.

He tuned out the others' comments, letting the whistle and roar of the wind silence them, and when they reached the edge of Glacia, their altitude rose sharply now that the continent of ice no longer blocked their way. The Great Silver Shrine was probably almost directly north of here...

Rising above even the highest skies, the ship soon exited the very atmosphere of the world, and Vyse gasped as he saw, for the first time, the whole of the world he had been born upon.

"Now, Vyse...you can really see what's beyond the sunset," she called back over her shoulder.

"Wow..." Aika breathed, looking over the side. "Look at how far away everything looks..."

"Amazing view," Gilder agreed in awe, before turning his gaze ahead to a blemish obstructing his view of the Silver Moon. "...Hey, what's that?"

"There's something orbiting the Silver Moon!" Aika gasped, staring at it wide-eyed.

"That's the Great Silver Shrine," Fina said, moving in closer to the object. "...The place where Ramirez and I were born."

"Just a little bit longer before we get to the bottom of everything," Vyse said, gazing at it with determination.

Ramirez said nothing, his half-lidded eyes on the world of Arcadia beneath them, as they had been since the beginning of their flight.

The vessel moved quickly, and before long, they arrived at the Shrine. Those who had been born on Arcadia were disoriented at first by the strange metal island, their home world hanging under their heads, and Fina led the way towards a tall tower at the center, Ramirez following the rest of them silently. The Arcadians looked curiously at the various metals poles they passed, some of which bore screens of blue and yellow light between them, and when Aika brought it up to their guide, she explained that they were actually doors, and beyond them were living quarters.

"Seriously?" Aika asked, incredulous. "But they're just poles standing there! How do you get to the rooms?"

"...Actually, I'm not sure myself how they work, beyond that the light screen transports you to a room inside the Great Silver Shrine," Fina replied after some thought. "I never thought to ask about the details. Ramirez might know, though..."

The redhead glanced at the ex-Admiral trailing behind them, who kept his gaze lowered even after hearing a mention of his name, and then shook her head. "Well, if you're fine with not knowing the details, then I guess I don't really need to know them, either."

"Aika..." Vyse murmured, furrowing his brows at his friend, but Aika just turned her brown eyes ahead toward their destination, and they were all silent until they reached the blue pillar at the center of the Shrine, and from there, the inside of a silver circle surrounded by six prongs, and from there again, a twisted walkway that inverted in on itself, switching from silver to black when one flipped from one side to the other, inlaid on both sides with iridescent green patterns like the golden embroidery that decorated Fina's clothes.

"This is the Path of Emptiness," Fina explained when they had begun the journey towards the center of the Shrine, namely, the Chamber of Elders. "It's very easy to lose one's way here, so we'll have to be careful..."

Ramirez didn't bother to listen to his former friend's explanation of the winding pathway; his attention was instead focused on that pathway itself. Silver turning around on black and back again...

/Where there is light, there is darkness,/ he thought with sardonic humor of the first special move he had mastered, wondering briefly if Silvites had constructed the Path of Emptiness with that phrase in mind. It made him think, though, of Ilazki, and from there, the nightly apparition of the man whose soul was supposedly bound to it. /No, it was just a dream,/ the Silvite swordsman told himself, following the others onto the road. /I must have lost a great deal of blood that night... That nightmare was just a hallucination of an oxygen-starved brain./

It was a very sensible explanation but for the fact that it didn't explain whatsoever why he had lost control of his body when fighting against Galcian, but Ramirez was perfectly willing to ignore that part if it meant not accepting that he had been possessed. Even if his control over his life, his emotions, and perhaps his sanity were quickly crumbling, one had to draw the line somewhere—his was his body. He didn't want to accept that there might be times when he couldn't even control his own physical actions...

/If nothing else, I have free will,/ he told himself with the fierceness of one petrified by the thought of being nothing more than a puppet. /They might have been poor choices, but I'm here because of choices I made.../

He glanced around himself at the glittering white of the Silver Shrine and darkly admitted that he hadn't quite chosen to come this far. /It's for Vyse's sake.../ Ramirez mentally sighed, shifting his gaze to the object of his confusion. /I...chose him./

The white-haired Silvite tried not to contemplate whether or not he regretted that choice, but even so, the blackness of despair welled up in his heart.

As they group trekked up and down the Path of Emptiness, their shoes clinking noisily on the strangely patterned surface, Vyse kept finding himself glancing back at Ramirez. The Silvite seemed perversely to want to make him give up on him—knowing that the Blue Rogue never gave up, only temporarily withdrew or surrendered until he could find a proper solution.

/He refuses to let me get through to him,/ Vyse thought, frustrated. /I can understand why he'd be hesitant about believing me, but shouldn't he realize I wouldn't say something like 'I love you' lightly?!/ Holding back a sigh, he examined the area to see which path lead to the center, and advanced forward again, the others behind him. /I don't like having to treat him like he's an underling—it puts me too close to the role Galcian had in his life... But that's the only way he'll respond. I can't stand it, but he won't listen to me any other way! I'd swear he's doing it on purpose, too—to push me away for good... No. Treating him like a subordinate is no good.../ Vyse furrowed his brows, gritting his teeth. /If that's true, then I'm just making him think even more that I didn't mean it when I told him I loved him. I can't let him upset the crew, but it won't solve anything if I start treating him coldly. And if I start acting like I'm just his captain, I won't be able to prove how I feel to him... Heh. It might be easier to fight a Gigas than deal with Ramirez.../

Flipping from white to black to white and again, and stepping into a column of light that transported the group to a higher area, Vyse and company grew closer and closer with every step to the Chamber of Elders. Filling with determination, the Blue Rogue told himself, /But these are our hearts we're talking about. I won't be beaten so easily! I'll show you, Ramirez... I'll show you I'm not lying or confused! I'll show you what it means for me to have fallen for you!!/

Standing in front of a screen of blue light, a yellow glowing orb in the center, Vyse glanced back to his friends and called, "Looks like we've made it... Everyone ready?"

They nodded with varying levels of enthusiasm, and Fina spoke up, "To enter, just touch the screen of light... It will automatically transport everyone standing in front of it inside."

The brunet rogue obeyed, scraping his fingertips against the odd door, and concentric rings of yellow light throbbed out from the orb before everyone was enveloped and transported to the center of a large, dark room in a shower of bright sparkles.

"Fina," an older man's voice resounded through the low-lit chamber as the Arcadians looked around, trying to take in their surroundings; the sound immediately grabbed everyone's attention, and they stared straight ahead, where Fina was looking, at its source. "Welcome home." A panel appeared high in mid-air where they were watching, and the image of a man appeared on the other side of it—then, the man became three-dimensional, and he looked down at the group. "A pity we could not greet you under more auspicious terms."

"What do you mean?" Fina queried, knowing the man to be Elder Orbis.

As the Arcadians stared in bewilderment at the Elder, Orbis redirected his gaze to the silver-haired young man at the back of the group. "I see you have also retrieved Ramirez. That is good; there are many things we wish to discuss with him." He sighed, resigned, and continued, "A shame you could not have brought the Crystals with you instead."

"What do you mean?" Fina queried, then paused as she realized something, and asked again, this time more frantically, "Wait...where's Elder Prime?"

"He is dead," Orbis answered smoothly, his words unmarked with sorrow or compassion.

Aika turned to her white-robed friend, who stepped backwards and gasped at the Elder's words, and asked, "Fina? What's going on? Who is that?"

"And in addition to Ramirez, you have collected some island-dwellers..." Orbis noted as if seeing Aika and the others for the first time. "How...amusing."

Four other pale blue panels appeared, and like Elder Orbis, four more elderly men appeared behind them. They, like Orbis, had oversized metal contraptions attached to their backs and shoulders, and wore robes similar in style to Fina's; the distance and the tinted glass didn't allow for the Arcadians to divine much else about their respective appearances.

"Hey..." Gilder commented as they arrived. "Looks like there's a bunch of them."

Ignoring the red-clad pirate's words, Elder Cross, who formed completely first, gazed down at the ex-Admiral and said, "So you have returned...Ramirez."

"We had feared that you had turned against us for many years," Elder Halos commented, "but the circumstances of Elder Prime's death confirmed this for us."

"What happened?" Fina interrupted, though she already had a good idea of what had occurred. "Did...did a man come—"

"Yes," Orbis interrupted her. "A tall, smirking island-dweller appeared earlier this very day, and when Elder Prime demanded why he was here...he introduced himself as the future ruler of the world, and that he already had the other five Crystals, thanks to Ramirez." He paused to glare at the Silvite in question, who still had yet to make a noise, then continued, "He then explained that he reached this place again thanks to Ramirez, and slew Elder Prime, then took the Silver Crystal and left, laughing."

Staring with eyes welling up with tears, Fina whispered, "Elder... Elder Prime is..."

Elder Helos cut her off to say, "Do not worry about Elder Prime. His death means his freedom. He has returned to nothing. However...now that the Moon Crystals are in the possession of that man...there is no hope. The world will crumble before him..."

When Helos trailed off, Elder Stout spoke, addressing the prodigal Silvite. "Ramirez, explain. You were once so loyal to us... Why did you betray us?"

His silver hair trembling slightly as he moved, Ramirez smirked faintly. "...Betray you?" With a bitter laugh, the former Admiral glared at the men who had governed his childhood. "Don't be so high and mighty. Your mission parameters were loathsome to me from the beginning. I never had any intentions of returning to this place with the Crystals to begin with. You must have known that...otherwise you would have never sent Fina down without telling her the truth."

Completely unruffled by the accusations, Orbis demanded, "And you consider this a good enough reason to instead entrust your mission to that island-dweller?"

Ramirez shook his head. "Like you, Lord Galcian finds the world below corrupt and its people disgusting," he began emotionlessly. "However, unlike you, Lord Galcian does not intend to fix things by destroying everything, but by exterminating the weak and leading the strong with an iron fist. I was impressed by him seven years ago, and decided to follow him."

"Your irresponsibility astounds me, Ramirez, as I'm sure it does us all," Elder Orbis stated coldly. There were murmurs of assent among the other Elders, and Orbis shook his head gravely, continuing, "And to think that we believed we could trust you..."

"Wait!!" Fina, who had called out, stepped forward, clutching her hands to her chest. "Elder Orbis, is it true? Ramirez said that the purpose of the collection of the Moon Crystals was to raise the Lost Continent and unleash the Rains of Destruction... He said..." She shut her eyes tightly. "He told me that we Silvites called down the Rains of Destruction on the Old World." Fina opened her eyes to gaze firmly at Orbis, and inquired, "Is that true? Is that what the Crystals are used for?"

The Elder was silent for a moment, his eyes shut in consideration of the query, before he regarded her. "I will not lie to you, young Fina. Yes, it is true."

Though she had begun to suspect that Ramirez had indeed been telling the truth for a while, the shock still slapped the Silvite girl across the face, and she whispered, "No..."

"It is time, I suppose, to tell you everything..." Orbis mused, ignoring her response. "Though it matters little, since the end of the world is nigh. Perhaps this news would be easier to bear if it came from Elder Prime... But he is dead due to Ramirez's treachery."

Blinking back tears as the Elder callously reminded her that the man who had been like a father to her growing up was no more, Fina pleaded, "Please! I need to know the truth!"

"Very well," Orbis acquiesced. "It makes no difference, but since you insist, I shall escort you and your companions to the Hall of Knowledge in Elder Prime's place."

Light began to glow at the feet of Vyse and company, and shimmering sparks flew up to envelope the group, cutting off Aika's wary protests in mid-word. When it had faded away, there were only four Elders left, and Ramirez.

/So Elder Orbis left me behind,/ he observed as he glanced up at the remaining Elders, who all looked fit to verbally tear him to shreds. /Not like it matters. I've no desire to listen to that nauseating propaganda again.../

Elder Stout was the first to speak once the others were gone. "Ramirez," he said frigidly. "You do not understand what you have done."

"I do understand," Ramirez said sharply, his temper and nerve flaring. "I am no longer the child I was when I left this place. Do not treat me like one!"

"You are a child," Helos stated frigidly. "Your feelings on the matter are irrelevant. All that matters is the mission."

"If the mission matters so much, you should have done it yourself!" the younger Silvite snapped. "Or were you just too lazy?! After all, what were you thinking, sending Fina down without telling her anything?!"

"Hold your tongue, young Ramirez," Helos snapped back. "You reveal your ignorance by your spiteful words! Or have you already forgotten that you volunteered to descend to Arcadia eight years ago?!"

"That was before you told me you intended to destroy the world! You lied to me, and then gave me no choice but to accept the mission!"

"It is through destruction that the slate of the world can be wiped clean," Cross stated. "And from there, a better world can be drawn anew."

"If you wipe it all out, who will rebuild it?" Ramirez demanded coldly.

"We will, of course," Cross stated smoothly.

"There are seven of us left! Seven, only one of whom is female," the white-haired Silvite pointed out, his teeth gritted. "I fail to see how such a pitifully low population could hope to rebuild anything."

"There would be more females if it were not for you," Cross stated, his tone glacial. "You know that you murdered your mother, simply by being born."

Ramirez merely glared silently back at the older men, apparently unfazed by that accusation as Stout continued, "And then he reduces our numbers further by allowing homicidal island-dwellers access to this place."

"You have been, all in all, a spectacular waste of time and resources," Halos re-entered the conversation, before the former Admiral had a chance at rejoinder. "If it had been possible, we should have destroyed you in the womb and started over."

The Silvite swordsman furrowed his brows, his hands clenched so tightly they shook, but even his anger didn't prepare him for what he heard next.

"Even your conception was a mistake," Halos went on. "You make such a pretense of intelligence, Ramirez, surely you must know that birthing more males would be of no use to us as far as the continuation of our race is concerned."

The green-eyed young man snapped his head up to stare at the Elders. "What—what do you mean?"

"We prepared so carefully for your mother to be inseminated with a female child," Halos told him. "Yet somehow, we ended up with you, a male..."

Stunned, taking an involuntary step backwards, Ramirez breathed, "I was...supposed to be...a girl?"

"Correct," Helos told him. "At least then we would have some use for you as an incubator after you proved yourself utterly useless in every other regard."

Cross listed, "Abandoning your mission, using your skills for an island-dweller, giving that island-dweller the Crystals, killing your mother before she had a chance to give birth to more children..."

"If any of us were able to use the sword hanging at your hip, we might even go so far as to demand it back," Stout added. "It is of no use to any of us; however, so there is no point... useless things should stay together."

There was nothing Ramirez could say in reply. All he could do was stare blankly back at the Elders, feeling as if his chest would implode. He could only think of his convoluted love for Vyse, and how the Elders would list that as another 'failure'... He didn't care about betraying the old men, but the fact that his birth caused the death of his mother was a poisoned thorn that bothered him still, though he took great pains to pretend, even to himself, that it did not... That she had sacrificed her life for a mistake—

/And what of that mistake itself?/ he wondered, dropping his wide-eyed gaze to the floor, his arms hanging, unfeeling, at his sides. /Was it because I was supposed to have been born female that I love a man...? I had been as good as created; does that mean even my pitiful emotions are predetermined—that I have no true will of my own?/ His jaw worked as if to let him speak, but Ramirez voiced no words. /Is the only reason I am who I am now because of a miscalculation somewhere in my conception......?/

Light began to shine again, and if the Elders had anything more to say, it was halted as Fina and the Blue Rogues returned, with Elder Orbis reappearing in his glass-like enclosure.

He spared Ramirez a glance and commented almost off-handedly to his fellow Elders, "I trust you all have finished matters with young Ramirez...?"

"We believe he has been made to understand," replied Stout, sounding satisfied.

"Understand what? What did you tell him?" Fina almost demanded, already pale from the revelations from the Hall of Knowledge.

"Nothing you need concern yourself with," Orbis replied, ignoring the stunned looks on everyone's faces; there was no way he could have not noticed them. "The only truth that concerns you is this, Fina: that, when we sent you on your mission, it was not to stop Valua from using the Gigas... It was to once again call down the Rains of Destruction."

The veiled girl gasped and shuddered, the bluntness of that reality was too much.

Aika, glancing sadly at her friend, murmured, "You used her... That's horrible..."

Vyse, his hands already curled into fists of anger, began to dig his fingernails into his palms out of fury as Orbis continued, "Fina, you witnessed it—what petty, vengeful creatures normal humans are; surrendering to all degrees of hatred and suffering, and even choosing death over peaceful coexistence. Even now, one of those island-dwelling humans will strip the world bare of life in his pursuit of power. It is true that there is nothing that can be done now...no hope for a future...but you must realize that we were not mistaken. Either in being cold to Ramirez for his own sake, or in deceiving you for your own sake... It was all done for the greater good. That it went awry is due to situations beyond our control... Ramirez somehow went astray, and all was ruined."

The named young man buckled and slumped as if he might drop to his knees, drawing the group's attention, Vyse's in particular; as the young Blue Rogue worriedly watched the former Admiral, Ramirez glanced over and stared at the Air Pirate.

Vyse drew a sharp breath, his chest tightening uncomfortably; he had never seen his fellow swordsman look so lost, so vulnerable... It was as if the ex-Admiral, once so proud, was no more than seven years old...

/What did they say to him?!/ the young captain wondered in horror as Ramirez quickly averted his gaze, still looking stricken.

"Vyse," Orbis was saying, jerking the brunet pirate back to everything else. "We have seen in your heart that you assisted Fina on her quest. Surely you, after all you have seen, agree with us."

"Who do you think you are?!" Vyse demanded, his rage boiling over at the audacious assumption. "Trying to destroy the world because it doesn't meet your standards, jerking around your own children... And you call that the 'greater good'?!" Pointing accusatorily with his right hand, he declared, "You don't have the right to pass judgment on the people I've known and cared about all my life while sitting here just watching the world move! And you never had the right to toy with Fina and Ramirez's hopes and dreams!!" The enraged rogue clenched his hand into a fist and threw his arm back, and snarled, "I won't forgive you!!"

Unfazed by the brunet's speech, Elder Orbis regarded Fina and said, his tone mollifying, "Fina, you are one of us... You understand..."

She stared at the floor for a few brief seconds, still looking dazed, then pulled herself together and shook her head firmly. "...No," she stated. "I do not understand! Elders, you are all wrong! How can you think like this?!"

"What?!" Orbis gasped as Aika and Vyse turned to their friend joyously. All eyes were on her; even Ramirez had broken out of his reverie to stare at her.

As the former Admiral watched, the pale-haired young lady spread out her arms and began, "Vyse and the others have taught me something... I learned that no matter what happens, you have to be strong. Even if your home is burned to the ground...even if you're facing impossible odds...even if you don't know who to trust...you have to be strong and fight for a better future!"

A strong surge of an emotion he couldn't name swelled in Ramirez's chest. He couldn't believe his ears; Fina, the pampered, coddled girl who never caused or got into trouble, was openly defying the Elders...even going so far as to tell them they were wrong. And her words... He was blown away by the utter conviction with which she spoke them. She believed, more than anything else, in what she said...with a faith as powerful as the one he used to hold, but somehow, infinitely more pure. Somehow, seeing her like that, saying such poignant words without hesitation to those who controlled her just as absolutely as they had once controlled him... It stirred something inside of him that he hadn't known was there—reminded of something he never knew he had experienced. That something made him wonder: was it perhaps that faith was true strength—beyond any ability with the sword, any amount of techniques, any acquisition of super-weapons...?

But the something wasn't a part of him. It was as if there was someone else inside him, having an entirely different emotional response. Despite how inspirational the younger Silvite's speech may have been to another, Ramirez's torn emotions—his hatred of himself, his resentment of Fina—led him to a far darker conclusion:

/If that is the true meaning of 'strength'...and going from there, if she's already this strong...what does anyone need me for...?/

As Fina continued to speak, the Silvite swordsman took a step back and then turned. He couldn't stand to stay here any longer. He needed privacy... Taking advantage of the distraction his estranged 'sister' served as, Ramirez left the Chamber of Elders without looking back, swaying slightly as he walked.

"I... I believe in what I have learned," the blonde girl had been saying. "As long as the people of the world have strength in their hearts...they will be able to overcome anything. And that's why we can't give up either. Even if Galcian has all of the Crystals, we can't afford to give up! I refuse to give up!! Together, Vyse and everyone and I will find a way to stop him, protect the people of the world, and find a way to bring about a peaceful future—without using the Rains of Destruction!"

"Fina..." Halos murmured.

"Fina... It is hopeless..." Helos began, trying to persuade the girl, but she ignored him, turning to her captain.

"Vyse, we've got to get to Deep Sky again right away!" she said firmly. "Galcian's probably heading there to raise Soltis as we speak. We've got to catch up with him and stop him!"

Pumping an arm back enthusiastically, Vyse declared to his other companions, "All right, everyone, you heard Fina! We've got to stop Galcian." As he gazed at the others, though, he blinked, noticing that he counted one less person than they had entered with. "Huh? Where's Ramirez...?" he uttered, causing the others to look around in confusion for their suddenly missing associate.

"If you are going to leave," Orbis said heavily, grabbing their attention, "take Ramirez with you. He is no longer welcome here."

"Hmph," Vyse frowned at him, then smirked. "Not like we'd leave him here with you people anyway!" He turned to the exit, and, with his friends at his heels, crossed the sheet of light back into the winding path of ebon and silver.

"Why did he leave without us...?" Fina wondered fretfully as they began to make their way back again.

"Somehow, I don't think it's because he wanted to hurry up and head back to settle things with Galcian," Gilder commented grimly. "Whatever the Elders said to him, it looks like it hit him pretty hard below the belt..."

/Ramirez.../ Vyse thought, gritting his teeth, trying to catch up with the brief glimpses he managed to make of the white-haired man.

Though he never looked back, the more experienced swordsman seemed to realize he was being followed and adjusted his pace accordingly. By the time the group reached him, he had already shimmered through a door into one of the rooms in the open area of the Shrine, and before anyone could follow in after, the screen of light dulled, then faded away.

"Did—did he just lock us out?" Aika asked her white-clad friend. When she nodded, the redhead fumed, "Oooh, that Ramirez!! We don't have time for this!"

"And leaving him behind is out of the question," Gilder added, his arms crossed. "As the old guys so cheerfully told us."

He and Vyse glanced at each other; they both knew that that wasn't the only reason Ramirez wasn't going to be abandoned.

"Fina," the young captain began, turning to the Silvite, "is there any way to unlock the door from this side?"

She shook her head. "The doors can be forced locked and unlocked," she frowned nervously, "but only the Elders have the access to the controls that can override a single room's locks and so on."

The brunet bit back a groan, rolling his eyes. "No way we're asking them for a favor, either," he murmured. "Isn't there any other way to get in, then?"

Fina hesitated. "Well... We can't enter, but...we can connect with this room from mine or Ramirez's... However..." She stepped forward, gently touching one of the silent poles. "This used to be Hahaue's room," the veiled girl said softly. "Maybe it would be best if we gave Ramirez some privacy for a while. He came here for a reason, I'm sure..."

Vyse shared a glance with his Arcadian companions. "I bet he came here for a reason, too," he told Fina. "And I respect his need for a moment to himself. But...we don't know how long he's going to be in there. You know we can't hang around. Plus..." He turned and slid a hand up the same pole Fina had touched. "I'm worried about him."

This time, it was Gilder and Aika who shared a meaningful glance, and they both understood what the other was thinking at the same moment: Ramirez already had enough stress; it wasn't unimaginable that whatever had transpired in the Chamber of Elders had pushed him one step too far. If he had locked himself in that room by himself, there wouldn't be anyone to stop him if he decided to do something rash...

Fina hadn't noticed, though, and considering his words, she nodded. "I don't know if Ramirez will respond," she said. "I can send a signal to this room, but I can't force it through... Only the Elders can do something like that... But it's worth trying to contact him." Another brief internal struggled, then she nodded. "We'll use Ramirez's room. There are a few things I'd like to show you there anyway."

"Lead the way, then," Vyse smiled, but the friendly expression couldn't hide the anxiety in his brown eyes.



The lock code was surprisingly easy to remember, even after the passage of eight years. The door of light faded away from behind the former Admiral's, and he leaned back, letting his back hit the cold metal wall. Now that he was finally guaranteed solitude, the memory of what he had just been told returned, overwhelming him. In spite of it, though, he smiled—an action that he thought might shatter him.

"Fina..." he murmured. "When did you get that strong...? Sometime when I wasn't paying attention..." The green-eyed man thought back to her comment the other day—that she was closer to Vyse than he was. It was inescapably true... What she had said reflected the ideals he had taught her—it sounded like something he himself would have said...

With a forced laugh, Ramirez said, his voice strained, "I had come to look down on you as a weakling...but when it counts, I'm the one to lose..."

But he realized that it made sense. He had always been a stranger to Vyse and his circle... Fina, on the other hand, long since become an irreplaceable part of it... And the thought of it pushed home the fact that, either on Arcadia or in the Great Silver Shrine, there was no longer a place for him.

/I don't belong anywhere,/ Ramirez told himself, the ache in his chest devastatingly painful. /I have no place to go... I—I have no purpose... no goal... no meaning.../ He sank down onto his knees, his eyes wide and trembling. /My life—no, my existence itself is a poorly played-out farce... I was never meant to have the role I performed... I—I'm no more than an accident.../ He bowed his head and lifted his hands, staring at his bare palms as if he had never seen them before. /...What was the point? Why did the Elders let me even be born if I was a mistake? If they didn't want me...why didn't they destroy me in the womb to save my mother's life? I...I'm useless...no, even worse than that, I'm a burden... I've caused trouble for Vyse and for Lord Galcian... I killed my mother... Why am I here?/

Clenching his hands, eyes, and teeth, the tormented Silvite demanded of himself, /Why do I exist?! What was the point?! If I had never been born, none of this would have happened! None of this would even be necessary! If I had never been born... If I had never been conceived...everything would be so much better! Everyone would be happier! I.../

Fighting back tears of despair, Ramirez leaned back and opened his eyes, hunched over miserably.

/I.../

Almost without being conscious of it, his gaze slide to the blade that hung at his left side, all but the gleaming hilt obscured by a leather sheath. His deep green eyes widened in revelation, and with surprisingly steady hands, he slowly drew Ilazki out into the open.

"I..." he murmured, "...can't change that I was born. I can't erase what I've done. But I..." Ramirez stood, his gaze still transfixed on his loyal blade. "...I can prevent my mistake from repeating...from continuing," he breathed. "The mistake known as my life..."

He laughed, and even to him, it sounded hollow and almost hysterical. His fear was gone, and in its place was an insane recklessness. "It's what I should do," the ex-Admiral assured himself. "Everything's right. I'm alone... I can have privacy in my last moments...no indignity of dying in a public inn... And unless the Elders unlock the door specially, nobody will get in... There's no one to stop me...not even Vyse..."

But even as Ramirez had Ilazki raised to end everything, he hesitated. It was true that Vyse could not stop him...but Vyse had been so devastated when he had only almost died...and the last time he had attempted suicide, Vyse went so far as to say he forgave him to prevent it... Even if he deserved nothing but death, as he knew he did...what would the consequences be as far as Vyse was concerned...?

Ramirez shook his head wildly. "No," he stated frantically, knowing that those thoughts would corrupt his resolve if he pondered them for too long. "Vyse doesn't love me. Vyse only pities me. Even if he were upset at first, he'd get over it. Vyse doesn't need me. Nobody needs me. Nobody needs me. Nobody needs me. Nobody needs me."

Repeating the three words like a mantra, the Silvite stared in a panic at his weapon, trying to steady his grip and keep the tip from trembling. But even as he tried to brainwash himself, even though he no longer feared oblivion or the unknown beyond, he knew that Vyse—even the mere thought of him—had once again corroded his will.

"NOBODY NEEDS ME!" he screamed, but instead of thrusting the blade deep into his chest, he hurled it at the wall, shuddering at the clang it made as it landed on the table where he used to happily sit with Hahaue and draw or weave or build together. With a strangled cry, Ramirez turned away, clutching at his head, and stepping swiftly to the opposite side of the room, he struck a fist at a panel, smashing several buttons in, then collapsed.

As he sank, the bed built into the wall unfolded down to his left and one of the longer panels to his right slid open. Ramirez didn't regard either for several long moments as he fought to regain control over his ragged breathing, but once he had managed to calm himself down to a reasonable degree, he glanced to his left.

"...heh," he smiled emptily. "Hahaue..." Ramirez stood unsteadily and sat himself down on the clean sheets, turning back to stroke the mat. "...I should die here," he told himself. "Like how you died here... Maybe somehow my spirit can follow yours..."

He laughed a laugh that sounded more like a sob. "...What am I saying? I'm too filthy to go to the pure place where your soul surely sleeps... But even an eternity of walking to nowhere appeals to me right now..."

The young Silvite moved to fix his gaze on the floor...but something caught his eye, and he turned back to peer at the opened panel. There was a small light shining among the buttons, lights, and panels making up the room controls. Morbidly curious, since, as there was nobody living in this room, there shouldn't be any lights on as the controls would be set to default, Ramirez stood and went to inspect it. The light, he found, was the one next to the playback panel for audiovisual recordings... The white-haired young man glanced at the communication screen, which was not fixed on anything in particular, then returned his attention to the panel. He didn't need to push the eject button to see if a recording sphere was inside...the light already told him one was there.

"Hahaue..." he murmured to himself, thoughts of death and the afterlife haunting his mind. A final message, perhaps? The Elders may not have cleaned out her room as thoroughly as they had thought... Or perhaps the light was broken, or a regular sphere, long forgotten.

"If I'm dead, it won't matter anymore," Ramirez mumbled, and he believed it. But even so, he pressed the play button, and let the communication screen blank out as it switched to the recording feed.

He sat back on Hahaue's bed and watched listlessly, deciding that he would observe for a few minutes to satisfy his macabre curiosity, then steel himself for what he knew he had to do, regardless of Vyse's feelings. There were several seconds of silent, black screen...

...then abruptly the image of a young Silvite woman around Fina's age appeared, smiling wholeheartedly, and Ramirez sat up as straight as if he had been struck by an Electres spell.

"Hello!" she said warmly. "To all the Silvites of the future—how are you? Are you well? Even though we are only communicating across time, I am glad you have discovered this sphere. How far apart are we, I wonder? Ten years? Twenty? Fifty? More than a hundred?" Leaning in, her eyes, which were a very familiar dark shade of green, sparkling in delight, she continued, "If you are far in the future, I wonder if you have borne witness to the world below us again! In ancient legend, as you probably know, Arcadia was the name of an eternal paradise..." Grinning and moving back, she continued, "I want to see the day when we return there, but if I cannot, perhaps I can satisfy myself with leaving a message of this time to those who have!"

"I...you..." Ramirez croaked as he stood, unable to remove his eyes from the image of the vivacious, white-haired girl.

"My name is Alita," she introduced herself. "And recording this is Elsa. Record yourself too!" Alita reprimanded her companion after a short pause.

"What? No, no, you were the one who was going to..." a different girl's voice protested, but Alita had already reached out and grabbed the sphere, and turned it around to show a seventeen-year-old version of Hahaue, who looked none too abashed.

"Umm... Well..." the younger Hahaue stammered, smiling as she blushed. "I am Elsa... Oh, Alita, give that back to me!"

There was laughter as the sphere again traded hands, Elsa complaining hotly, "This was your idea! I still do not know if I wish to do anything more than record..."

Alita was still laughing, but without malice. She grinned mischievously, and replied, "It would be terrible if nobody ever saw all who participated in the creation of these messages! If you decide later to only record, at least our descendents will have at least seen you once. That is all I request for now, Elsa."

Ramirez's jaw worked silently, but he couldn't voice what he thought. This girl was with Hahaue—or rather, Elsa—and had ivory-colored hair and verdure green eyes like his...her face wasn't as sharply defined as his, and her nose was shorter, but her complexion was just as pale as his, and they had the same slender chin and cheekbones...

Finally, stumbling forward, his neck craned to keep his eyes on her, he managed to whisper the identity of the girl on the screen:

"...Mother..."



Vyse and Aika had known that Ramirez had been much like the brunet Air Pirate in his youth because of Fina's comments when the Silvite swordsman first spent a night with them, but still it was a surprise entering the octagonal room and seeing books, maps, and wooden models hither and thither. Even his bed, a curious thing that built directly into the wall, had a model ship and an assortment of books carefully set up on top of it.

"Wow," the redhead commented as she picked up the model, tilting it to all sorts of angles. "Take a look at this, Vyse."

"Wow is right," he said, already standing next to her, watching the excellently-crafted miniature ship on display. "Did Ramirez really make this?"

"Yes," Fina nodded, a bittersweet, nostalgic smile on her lips; "he made it a long time ago. He's very artistic, actually..." She joined the two, raising her hands, and Aika took the hint and handed it to her. The blonde girl held it in front of herself, gazing at it, and commented, "There wasn't much that he couldn't do if he put his mind to it. When I was little, he used to make necklaces and bracelets for me all the time..."

Fina set the old model back on the bed, and reached past it to softly touch her fingertips to the bound volumes. "He loved these books," she recalled. "He would read and re-read them all the time. Whenever he was punished, the Elders always had to remember to remove them before isolating him in here, or else he'd just use these to entertain himself..."

"Hey, Fina," Gilder called, regarding a large, flat screen built over one of the walls. "What's this thing supposed to be? It can't be a window, and last I checked, paintings didn't move..."

"Oh, that," she replied, walking quickly over to it. "This device allows you to speak with and see people across vast distances. With this, we'll be able to talk to Ramirez in Hahaue's room, provided he responds to my hails." She clasped her hands over her chest, watching the shifting images wistfully. "I used to converse with Ramirez all the time using this... But after he left, there wasn't anyone left to speak with, aside from the Elders..." She bowed her head slightly. "You see, Ramirez, the Elders, and I...are the only Silvites left. The Elders said there is no point in having more people here than is necessary... But, for some reason, I always felt so lonely here..."

"Fina..." Vyse murmured, but she only turned to him with a smile.

"I'll try to contact Ramirez," the Silvite girl said. "In the meantime, if any of you have any more questions, feel free to ask..."

She headed to one of the long, horizontal panels on the wall left of the screen, and Vyse and the others took that as a cue to busy themselves looking elsewhere, which was not difficult to do, because even though the room was small, there were many interesting things to behold. Gilder and Aika moved over to the desk right of the screen, taking up the two seats there, and Vyse inspected another model resting on an opened panel between the bed and where Fina was working.

"It's a model of a really old propeller-driven airship..." he murmured, turning it in the light, not sure which impressed him most—the amount of effort and time that must have gone into the construction, or the intense love Ramirez must have had for the hobby to make something so high quality.

/I know I spent a lot of time working on my own models when I was a little kid, and always tried my best to make them look outstanding.../ he mused, then, speaking half to himself and half to the blonde girl next to him, said, "But the level of detail on this thing is just amazing!"

Fina giggled slightly, looking away from the panel to her captain. "Ramirez made it while he was still living here," she smiled, gazing at the model reminiscently. "He used to tell me that all he wanted to do was just 'sail through the vast skies of the world'."

"Really?" Vyse queried, moved deeply. "It's amazing... You've said before that Ramirez now is a lot different from the Ramirez you grew up with... But if he really used to say things like that, I can really appreciate how different he must have been..."

Fina smiled sadly and returned to her work, pressing a sequence of buttons in a remarkably experienced way, the numerous keys punched in a matter of seconds.

"Now all we can do is wait for him to answer," she said, leaning back. "But I don't know if he will... He might not want to talk to anybody... He might think it's one of the Elders..."

Both of them were thinking it, but neither of them wanted to say, He might already be dead.



Ramirez, however, was not deceased. His sword was forgotten. His intent of suicide was forgotten. The silently blinking red light, signaling an incoming transmission, was not even noticed. All the Silvite could do was sit on the floor, hugging his legs to his chest, and gaze, haunted, at the dancing image of his mother as a lively young lady. He ached with the wish that he had been able to know the woman whose smile was so warm and laugh was so uplifting. That girl, a few years after these recordings, would be dead...because of him.

"Mother...why did you trade your life for a mistake...?" he murmured, reaching out with one hand as if to touch the white-haired woman who resembled him so much, but all he stroked was air. "Why..."

In reply, she said cheerfully, indicating a door to her left, "This is the Room of the Eclipse. It's kept off-limits to everyone, and only Elder Prime is allowed inside. Elsa, come closer, get a good shot of what's inside!"

The video moved slightly as its recorder shifted, probably out of nervousness. "Alita, you know we are not even supposed to be near here... If we are caught—"

"—I will take the blame," Alita cut her off promptly. "We shall just say I made you. I always take the blame for you, anyway. The important thing is that we make this recording!"

Ramirez had to smile; he could see where he got his stubborn streak. He wondered if his mother had even been punished as he had been...

"I do not feel entirely comfortable with this..." Elsa persisted. "Is that sword in there not supposed to be...well...cursed?"

The male Silvite sat up straight. That was a detail he'd never heard from the Elders...

"Cursed," Alita said scornfully. "That's just according to the Elders, and they could tell us Arcadia is made of colored paper and we would never know the difference."

Ramirez chuckled weakly, but it was more heartfelt than anything he had uttered recently was. He didn't know where his mother had gotten her flippant attitude, but his affection for her, and consequently his heartache, intensified all the more for it.

"Besides, the door is locked," the silver-haired woman continued. "Just looking inside will not make a difference. If you still insist, then let me have the sphere and I shall record."

The sphere traded hands, and soon darkness filled the screen, but for a glowing display in the center—Ilazki was in her original crystal case, metal and glowing lights decorating the edges, faint light illuminating the center where the silvery sword rested. "The name of that blade is Ilazki, after the ancient patron of the Silver Moon," Alita narrated gaily. "I do not know how old it is, but I understand it predates the Rains of Destruction."

Indeed it does,— a thought not Ramirez's own bubbled inside his mind, and thinking it something heard, that someone had somehow entered without his knowledge, he spun around, scanning the room. He blinked in surprise and confusion upon seeing no one, and writing it off as his imagination, he turned back to his mother, who was saying, "Ilazki has also been called the Sword of the Dark Moon, and alternately, the Sword of the Eclipse... To be honest, I know little of the weapon, either its origins, who wielded it, or the reasons for its nicknames... The Room of Eclipse itself is strange as well; its make is very obviously different from the other rooms here, up to the door, which you can see is solid metal but for this peephole instead of the light screen doors the rest of the Shrine has. Perhaps this strange construction has to do with the properties of the sword it keeps locked within; apparently Ilazki has been sealed in that room for over fifteen decades."

"If it was sealed, there was probably a good reason for it," Elsa insisted somewhere behind Alita, sounding worried. "Honestly, Alita... I do not understand your fascination with that sword..."

"Elsa!" his mother shouted, but strangely she sounded cheerful. "Why do you think Ilazki is called the Sword of the Eclipse? And, as a Silvite weapon, it would be better named the Sword of the Silver Moon rather than of the Dark Moon, I think; what say you?"

"Alita," Elsa replied, unmistakably exasperated. "It is an instrument of destruction. The Dark Moon and the Eclipse probably refer to how it extinguishes life—the black side of the powers of the Silver Moon."

The hairs on the back of Ramirez's neck prickled and stood on end as his foster mother spoke, and feeling oddly paranoid, the silver-haired man glanced around the room again. There was still no one there that he could see.

Sounding disappointed somehow, Alita replied, "That makes sense. Well..." The image moved back, removing the mystical apparition of the pale sword from sight, and before the video went black and changed to a different scene, the girl who would later become his mother finished, "I suppose that is good enough."



"He's not answering," Fina fretted, stating the obvious, bringing Vyse's attention away from the smudged map spread out on the desk. "I could entreat the Elders to help us... They probably would; they said they didn't want Ramirez here..."

"Nnngh," Vyse growled, clenching a fist. "I'd really rather not ask them for a favor, but we might have to..." He shook his head. "Let's give Ramirez a little more time. If he still doesn't answer in a few minutes, I'll go wait by the door in case he leaves, and if that doesn't work...we'll ask the Elders."

The blonde girl nodded anxiously, and glancing back at the unconnected screen, she joined the others at the desk.

"Oh," she smiled when she saw what the three were inspecting. "It's one of Ramirez's maps... He used to love looking at them, you know."

"Yeah, I bet," Vyse smiled back. "It's covered with notes... I can't read a word of them, though..."

"They're written in the language of the Silvites," Fina smiled, "so it's understandable that you don't."

"Still, his handwriting is really neat," Aika noted, peering at the chart of the world. "You can make out all the little symbols clearly."

Gilder tapped on it. "What I'm wondering is—well, this is a map of the entire world, isn't it?" he said. "It sure would have come in handy. Why didn't Ramirez take it with him? Why didn't you, Fina?"

"Well, it's not mine," she replied, taken aback. "He adored his maps... I wouldn't have dared to take one of them. As for Ramirez...well, I don't know. Maybe he thought he wouldn't need it, since he was about to see the real thing." She traced the coast of Nasr gently, looking sad. "He used to say that maps made the world look so small... I never quiet understood what he meant by that..."

Vyse silently looked up at the Silvite girl, reflecting on her recount of Ramirez's old personality. He wished dearly he could have met him before he met Galcian, whom he was certain was the source of the silver-haired man's corruption. He was certain, if only they had met much sooner, Ramirez would be so much better off...

/Because, Ramirez.../ he thought, gazing into the distance, thinking affectionately of the former Admiral, /I do understand what you mean.../

"It's like this book," Fina continued, moving her fingers to a thick volume with a dark red cover, letters of a foreign language etched in gold lettering on the cover. "This...is an entire history of the world, written in the holy script of the Silvites. Out of all of his books, Ramirez read this one the most. He was always so intrigued by the little intricacies of the world..."

Gilder chuckled. "And now look at him. How long ago did he come down to Arcadia?"

"Eight years ago..." Fina began, then cut herself off from adding, 'today'. /He probably wouldn't want the attention,/ she mused sadly, /even about his birthday. He'd probably be cross that I said things about him again.../

"More than enough time to change a man," the red-cloaked Air Pirate commented. "And plenty of time to set him in his ways, to boot. When you think about it, it's not surprising that he's taking so badly to all the change in his life." He shrugged. "Well, maybe that interests the rest of you more than it does me."

"Ramirez..." Vyse murmured, somewhat bothered by the time frame; he didn't think the former Admiral could be much older than twenty, perhaps twenty-one. "Hey... What's his age, anyway?"

The Silvite girl hesitated, then replied, "He's twenty-five now." /Since yesterday,/ she kept herself from mentioning.

"He looks pretty young for his age," Gilder commented. "Heh, some people have all the luck..."

"...Twenty-five?" the captain of the Delphinus gaped, taken aback. "He's eight years older than I am!!"

"Why's this an issue?" Aika queried, raising an orange eyebrow suspiciously. "Gilder's even older than that, aren't you, Gilder?"

"You're a cruel one, Aika," the pirate grimaced. He smirked and chuckled, though, and added, "But I bet Vyse is just going to have to get adjusted to that little fact."

The brunet rogue blushed and replied hotly, "I thought he was four years older, at most! I...I just didn't expect him to be that old!"

The girls stared at each other, Fina and Aika befuddled for different reasons, as Vyse turned his back to them, crossing his arms to hide his embarrassment. /It's not a big deal,/ he reassured himself. /Two years, four years, eight years... He's still Ramirez. I still care about him the same way. I just...need some time to get used to it./

Glancing back at the thick metal desk, he cleared his throat and touched the map. "Maybe we should take some of these back with us," he suggested. "You know...since Ramirez used to like them so much, he might appreciate having them again..."

"He's changed," Aika pointed out, "a lot. He might not want them anymore."

Her childhood friend gave her a half-hearted grin. "Well, even if he doesn't, the information would be really useful, huh?"

She smirked. "You just want that map, don't you?" She grinned back and winked, saying, "I don't blame you! A map of the entire world... We only just sailed around the world, and there's still lots of places we haven't seen yet—this is treasure good as gold!"

The blonde girl looked hesitant. "I don't know..." she said doubtfully. "But...I suppose if you give it back to him, it's all right..."

"Well, are any of us coming back up here again?" Gilder queried. "Best to take what you can, while you can. Now let's get back to dealing with getting Ramirez out of that room, eh?"

The others agreed to this plain logic, but as Vyse picked up the map and carefully rolled it up, Fina voiced one last concern.

"Gilder's right," she said; "we're probably never coming back here. So, if it's all right... Do you mind if I visit my room one last time, before we ask the Elders for anything...?"

The brunet Blue Rogue smiled at her. "Sure. Let's go."



It was probably a junkpile sphere—a collection of various clips that were supposed to be sorted and rearranged onto different spheres at a later date. Ramirez realized that when his mother reappeared after a short section of black space, looking several years older; perhaps half a decade older than she had been in the last clip.

"Are you sure you wish to use this sphere, Alita?" Elsa was asking. "I believe we used it before..."

"It will be fine," Alita replied, her tone musical. "We can re-record it later when we find a blank sphere, and this one still has space left." There was a brief pause as both took their positions, and Ramirez's mother brushed her long hair back over her shoulder, her veil fluttering, then becoming still.

"It is exciting to think that, in eight lunar cycles' time, I will bear a child," she said glowingly, and the horrible feeling began to grow in Ramirez that this woman didn't have much longer to live. "Although I suppose it is a little frightening as well, to think that there is another Silvite growing inside of me..."

She touched her belly briefly, nervously, saying, "It is a big step, isn't it? I had never before given much thought to this before, but... Elsa's far more delicate than me, so we and the Elders agreed that I should be the first."

/She's more delicate than you?/ Ramirez thought dismally. /Then why did she survive while you died...?/

"I shall bear a girl, according to the Elders; they were very careful in their engineering," Alita went on, and the silver-haired young man flinched. "But I think I would be happy either way regardless of a daughter or a son." She laughed, curling a lock of white hair around a pair of fingers, and continued, "Perhaps in ten years I'll look back on this sphere with Elsa and my daughter and think of how silly my fears were."

Ramirez suddenly had difficulty swallowing as the woman he called Hahaue set down the sphere, and the scene faded to black; what he did know about fate of the woman who had borne him made her words of the future and hopes almost impossible to bear. She would never look back and laugh. She would never be able to.

Anguish at the pain he would cause—had caused—welled in him, and he buried his face against his knees, barely able to keep from breaking down in despair.

He was startled out of his reverie by the sudden return of the voices, and he jerked his head up, staring at the screen once again. It really was a junk sphere; they had used it yet again. This time, Elsa was sitting next to Alita, who was lying down on her bed, her abdomen noticeably swollen. The air between them wasn't joyous, like it had been last time; this time, things seemed tense.

"Alita..." Elsa was saying, wringing her hands in her lap and glancing nervously at her friend. "I...I think you should do as the Elders say... It would be for the best, wouldn't it? They said that there is a chance you could die if you carry the baby to term! It is still not too late to erase it and start over..."

"It is only a chance," the white-haired woman replied, her tone of amazing calm. "And the Elders say death is nothing, so why should it matter?"

"If you die before the child is born, do you think it will survive?" Elsa tried to persuade her.

"He," Alita corrected her with a smile. "He will survive. I am certain of it."

Tears rolled down Elsa's cheeks, and Ramirez blinked rapidly to not mirror her action, his heart thumping. "But what of you, Alita?" the pale-blonde woman cried. "Your life is more important than that of a yet unborn babe! And is it not strange?! The Elders were certain it would be female—yet it's male?!"

"Mistakes happen," the soon-to-be mother replied sagely. "And this is not an important one. Do not worry about me. I will survive. I am certain of it."

Elsa rubbed at her eyes, her white silk sleeve coming away wet. "And if you do not?"

"I hope it will not come to that," Alita replied, sitting up ploddingly. "But Elsa, if your selfish friend may entreat a favor from you?" She took her friend's hands into her own and continued, "If the worst should happen... Please, please take care of my son. Show him the love I would show him—the love you would show me. I have chosen to risk my life for him, because I love him. Will you promise me this?"

Trying to choke back tears and failing, Elsa nodded. "I promise, Alita."

"I promise you in return," the white-haired woman smiled gently, "I will do my best to live...for everyone's sake."

The Silvite swordsman couldn't stand it anymore. With a strangled sob, tears began to fall freely down his cheeks.

"Have you chosen a name yet?" the woman with the braided hair queried, she and her friend sitting side by side now. "For your son, I mean."

"I have," the woman whose eyes would match her son's smiled tenderly, caressing her abdomen. "I will call him Ramirez."

"Ramirez," Elsa repeated, trying to smile as well. "It is a...a strong name."

"He will be strong," Alita replied confidently, leaning back. "I can feel it."

Overwhelmed with emotion, the silver-haired man buried his face into his hands and wept copiously, unable to rein in his flooding emotions. The screen went dark and stayed that way, but Ramirez paid it no heed, so engrossed in his thoughts.

Failure...traitor...useless... The Elders named aloud what he had come to believe himself to be. Everyone to whom he had become close, he had eventually betrayed. His life wasn't worth continuing... He didn't even think his life had been worth bringing into the world...

...But his mother had clearly thought differently. She had been willing to die for a child she would never know.

/Am I worth at least that much? A vibrant woman's life? The life of a woman who shared my dreams...?/ he wondered, trying to control his ragged breath and failing. /Dying meaninglessly... Ending my own life... Wouldn't it be ungrateful to her...?/ Running a hand down his face, he thought, /I'd never known her... As far as I was concerned, Hahaue was my mother... But when I'd learned that she wasn't, biologically, I always wondered what my real mother was like.../

He managed to stand, and walked unsteadily over to the bed, light-headed as he sobbed. Everything had been piling up for too long, and this was just one thing too many... Pulling up the sheets and wiping his face with them, he mumbled, "She... Alita... Would she still love me if she knew me now...? But still...giving up so easily... I, I shouldn't..."

Seeing his true mother hadn't been entirely comforting, but it did at least answer his questions on why his mother had died for a mistake. Even though he ended up being someone he wasn't, she had accepted him regardless... Ramirez was willing to walk away with that memory of her.

"She died so I could live..." he whispered to himself. "...I can do the same...for Vyse."

His tears spilling again, the swordsman continued mentally, /I'll live to protect him. If I die, it will be in defense of his life. As long as he wants me near...I'll live on for his sake. ...It's the only way I can repay the debt I owe./

Lying down to let himself cry as much as he needed, Ramirez didn't notice the way Ilazki glinted brightly across the room.



"Ramirez..." Vyse murmured, looking up at the blue-green orb hanging in the black sky from where he was sitting against one of the poles leading into Hahaue's room. He had toured Fina's room briefly with the others, and now they were waiting on her ship while he waited for the older Silvite. "So this is the view you always had growing up, huh..."

/It's really beautiful,/ he thought, /the view from here... Just amazing.../ He smiled slightly. /I used to stargaze all the time on Lookout Isle...and Ramirez probably spent a lot of time looking at Arcadia... Kind of funny how we were gazing at each other, in a way.../

Wishing he had a pocket watch to be able to tell how long he'd been waiting, Vyse sighed. "Ramirez..." he murmured sadly. "Don't be dead, please..." He narrowed his eyes, and standing, trying to make himself concentrate on the other worries he had, he told himself, /It can't be over yet! There's still so much left to do. There's so much I want to do, and if Galcian gets his way, I'll never be able to do any of it. We'll have to hurry straight to Glacia to get the Delphinus, then sail straight to Dangral Isle—as soon as Ramirez leaves. Hurry up, Ramirez...please... If you need time, I'll give you as much as you need, but right now, we have to—/

His thoughts were cut off when a soft sound echoed and the screen of light materialized again at his back. The brown-eyed Air Pirate hastily turned around and backed away, his hopes lifting—and then bursting into joy, then concern as Ramirez stumbled out, his sword at his hip, and his face red and tired.

"Ramirez? Are you okay?" he queried, stepping forward to steady him.

The Silvite almost ran into the Blue Rogue, but he pushed him aside and shook his head. "...I'm...I'm fine, sir," he said in a strained voice.

"You look like you've been crying," Vyse argued, then stopped. "...Did you just call me 'sir'?"

"Yes, sir," the former Admiral murmured, keeping his gaze downcast.

"...Why?" Vyse asked, staring at him agape.

Ramirez hesitated, perhaps for thought, and replied, "You are my captain, sir. I should address you in the manner befitting one of your station." While Vyse continued to stare, dumbstruck, the older swordsman deftly changed the subject. "Where are the others, sir? I...have probably been keeping all of you waiting."

Blinking, the Blue Rogue shook his head, wanting badly to set Ramirez straight, but knowing that he was right: they didn't have time to stick around. "We'll talk later," he said firmly. "For right now, you've got a point—let's get going. The others are waiting at the ship."

The Silvite swordsman merely nodded, and the two headed back to where the others were.

As they walked, Ramirez gazed at Vyse. The Silvite wasn't sure of who or what he was anymore... What kind of person he was, his meaning in life, or even what he wanted to do. It was simply easier to fall back into his role as a soldier—to follow orders, thinking of nothing but the mission and the will of his superiors. And separating himself emotionally from Vyse, though still serving him as penitence for his acts, would be best in the end, surely...

When the two had boarded the silvery boat, Aika, glancing at Ramirez, asked Vyse, "So what was all that about, anyway?"

The young brunet shrugged, also turning his eyes to his companion, who refused to meet anyone's gaze. "In any case, let's head back to Glacia, top speed, to board the Delphinus and head to Deep Sky," he told the others. "We've got to hurry to catch up to Galcian."

There were nods and sounds of assent, and Fina quickly had them set off back to the world below, traveling at top speed.

"Well, Ramirez," Vyse began in as low a voice as he could manage with the winds, turning to his companion, "now that we've got a moment, I wanted to ask you about what you called me back there."

"I beg your pardon, sir?" Ramirez replied politely.

"Exactly my point," the brunet frowned. "What's with the sudden formality?"

Dully, the Silvite replied, "You are my captain, sir, and I should—"

"I know that part," the young Air Pirate cut him off. "What I'm asking is, why? You never did anything like that before."

"I no longer serve Lord Galcian," he explained, still sounding dull. "I am dead to him now. So, I serve only you, sir. As I am your subordinate, I should show you the appropriate respect. If it is insufficient, sir, please instruct me in which title to use instead."

"I don't want you calling me by any title at all!!" Vyse reprimanded him, his voice rising. He forced himself to quiet down when the others turned to stare at them, and trying not to hiss, he murmured, "Yes, I'm your captain, and I definitely wouldn't mind respect. But—but this isn't the Armada or a slave ring! You don't 'serve' me! Sure, I call the shots, but that doesn't mean you should say 'sir' every other sentence, or salute me, or call me 'Lord Vyse' on bended knee—and those last two are examples, not suggestions, so you better not start doing them!" Throwing up his hands in exasperation at Ramirez's lack of reaction, he whispered fiercely, "It's just not normal for you!!"

The former Admiral slowly lifted his face to meet Vyse's, his verdure gaze empty. "What, then, is my normal, sir?"

The young ship captain hesitated, then furrowed his brows, clenching a fist. "Not this. Look," he said plaintively, "this... I know you've got a lot of problems, but this just isn't healthy. If you've got something to say to me, just say it, okay? If you want to wait 'til later when we've got more privacy, fine, but please don't bottle it in. I can't stand seeing you like this!"

"Please don't worry about me, sir," the Silvite swordsman smiled painfully.

"I can't help but worry about you," Vyse argued, wincing at the repeated use of the honorific. "You're getting worse and worse with all this stress that's getting piled on top of you. You're calling me 'sir' all of a sudden when you never used to..."

Ramirez's smile became wan. "We're both under a lot of stress...thanks to each other."

There was little the Blue Rogue could say to refute that, seeing as it was true, and he was uncomfortably aware of how Aika, Gilder, and Fina were all listening, even if they were pretending not to. He said quietly, "That doesn't mean we have to add to it. For starters...please don't call me 'sir'. It doesn't sound natural."

"I can't do that, sir," Ramirez replied, his tone soft, and his gaze impassive yet melancholy. "That would be disrespectful."

"You never used to care about respecting Vyse like that before," Aika butted in, dropping any pretense of inattention as she uncrossed her arms to place her hands on her hips. "Why start now?"

He redirected his wan smile towards her, then flicked his gaze to the floor of the ship. "I had...a revelation, of sorts," the male Silvite replied, his voice slightly strained. "I've thrown in my lot with Captain Vyse in many different ways... I should therefore act in a manner appropriate to my position. He is my captain...nothing more."

The significance of this statement wasn't lost on anybody, although it had considerably more meaning to Gilder and Vyse, the latter frowning unhappily.

"So you've given up on Vyse?" the redhead persisted. "No more claiming you love him?"

"Aika!" Vyse said sharply, but Ramirez nodded.

"He is my captain, nothing more," he repeated, his tone dead.

Aika frowned, crossing her arms. /It sounds to me like you're just not being honest with yourself,/ she thought, but as she didn't like Ramirez and thus didn't want to encourage him to try for Vyse's affections, she didn't bother to voice her opinion.

Fina also said nothing, although she had been listening it—it was hard not to in such close quarters. She didn't know what she felt; on the one hand, she was relieved that Ramirez was finally giving up on Vyse...but on the other hand, she couldn't erase the feeling, deep down, that this wasn't the way things should be. She also couldn't help but feel guilty about her relief; Vyse was probably the only one who could reach Ramirez, and if her estranged friend cut himself off from even the determined young captain...no one would reach him. She knew all too well how obstinate the older Silvite could be...

Gilder kept his eyes away from the two younger men; it was difficult to pretend to not notice anything, much less to know nothing, especially since he had a strong hunch nothing good could come of this. Granted, he had never thought bringing Ramirez aboard the Delphinus was such a terrific idea, but things were steadily going from bad to worse. While he didn't care about Ramirez one way or the other, Vyse was a friend—not to mention the ringleader of this crazy band of deviants. If he lost his fire because of all of this...it would doom them all when they eventually confronted Galcian. The gun-slinging Air Pirate sincerely hoped, for everyone's sakes, that things turned out well for the two...

Vyse, meanwhile, had to firmly crunch his boot on the desire to smack sense into the Silvite standing in front of him. For him to say so unemotionally that he no longer cared—he couldn't accept that. If things between them had to come to nothing, that wasn't the way he wanted it to end! If nothing else, he wanted to be Ramirez's friend as well as his captain, not just some substitute for Galcian... The thought alone that the person he'd fallen for might be comparing him to that man made him ill.

Taking a deep breath and sighing it out, the brunet rogue leaned in to Ramirez to whisper in his ear, "I won't accept that. I will not give up on you. You mean too much to me."

The former Admiral glanced up quickly, his green eyes meeting Vyse's brown ones, the younger man's gaze so intense with emotion that anyone could see he was completely vulnerable. An almost electric sensation pulsed through Ramirez's body, and he had to look away, though not before Vyse saw a flicker in his eyes. The former Admiral knew, in spite of the mask he tried to wear, that he still felt the same way for the Blue Rogue. But...how could he explain to the straightforward Air Pirate that he wasn't sure of his place in the world anymore? Everything had turned upside-down so many times, he didn't know if it was even possible to fix anything anymore...himself in particular. He was, after all was said and done, afraid, of so many different things...

It was all Vyse's fault...but somehow, Ramirez could only blame himself.

The Blue Rogue's gaze softened as he watched his companion, and glancing up briefly to make sure nobody was watching anymore, he raised a hand to stroke Ramirez's cheek affectionately, and finally moved away. The Silvite was quick to retreat as far as he could as well, turning away to hide his elevated breath and reddening face.

The rest of the journey back from the heavens proceeded in silence; everyone had a great deal to ponder.





NOTES: We own nothing except our ideas. Don't take our ideas. All properties of Skies of Arcadia/Eternal Arcadia [Legends] belong to everyone it is to whom they belong.

Ayu: In an earlier chapter, Elder Orbis is mistakenly called Elder Orbit. When we get the time, we're going to fix that. Just a heads up.

Ayu: Because I took meticulous notes (i.e., copied word-for-word what everyone said) about the events in the GSS when I re-played Legends a few months back, the dialogue here is much closer to that in the game than it is in certain other parts of the fic where Ianthe and I played through but didn't take notes. Another heads up.

Ayu: It's a little off, but it's the second anniversary of The Day the Moon Shines. ^^ Around this time last year, we had just completed chapter 10, heh, and we started it the winter break in the year before that (although we started in December, not January, I think). That's our last heads-up. ^^

Ayu: This chapter's lyric-title is taken from Missing Link, an insert song from the last episode of Shoujo Kakumei Utena. Full lyrics can be found, as always, at my lyrics site, Campus Lyrics!, the link to which you can (indirectly) find below.

Contact deep.Indigo: deep.Indigo@negativenergy.zzn.com
Contact Ianthe of d.I:
ianthefira@rangersgrove.zzn.com (URL: Ranger's Grove (rangersgrove.tripod.com))
Contact Ayu of d.I: ensoph@goddess.zzn.com (URL: ~ T H E : E T E R N A L : M I N D ~ (theeternalmind.sterlingsylver.net))