Chapter 9 (Whoopee!)
The sheets were rumpled from tossing and turning. The full moon shone brightly through the open windows in the clear January sky, letting moonbeams fall onto the bed to show the outline of a small, feminine form under the covers. She rolled onto her side, whimpering slightly in her sleep. She grabbed the bedspread tightly and held on until her knuckles turned white as she flew through the air wildly in her dream.
"Where am I!" she called out when she found she was standing on the ground. She was outside in the snow, but she felt nothing. Not the cold, or even warmth in her soft, thin nightgown. She looked around her and saw her house. Smoke was puffing out of the fireplace and the air smelled of cedar wood. Turning around again at the sound of a soft, cackling laugh, she saw a tall, handsome, and dark man. His long fall of black hair was bound in a tie behind him, and a black cloak rested on his shoulders. His midnight blue eyes were fixed on her.
"You are inside of a dream," he told her. His voice was low and rumbling; melodic.
"Whose-Whose dream?" Lissa ventured to ask.
The man stepped forward slowly, his cloak billowing out behind him in a wind that neither of them felt. "Yours. This dream is what you wish for truly," he told her. "Come." He walked up the stairs to the porch and straight through the white fence.
"How did you-How did you do that?" she wanted to know, going up the stairs as well. She stuck her hand out and touched the wooden gate, but didn't feel the cold she had expected to. "Why can't I go through it like you?"
"The answer to your first question, you will learn in time. The second answer is that I imagined myself able to go through it, and I did. Imagine yourself able to go through the fence like a gentle breeze flows through the soft material of your nightdress," the man told her. He gestured to her peach nightgown as he spoke.
Lissa looked down and then up again at him. He nodded and told her telepathically, 'Imagine yourself.' She shut her eyes and took a step forward through the gate. When she was on the other side, she laughed. "I did it!"
"Yes, you did." The man spoke lowly, as if taking a mental note as he talked. "Come," he said again. Instead of going through the door, he opened it and stepped in. When Lissa walked behind him, he stopped and spun around to face her. "I will clap my hands, and you will be in your dream as someone taking part. You must be prepared for what you see. Are you ready?" "No. What do you mean 'be prepared' and 'someone taking part'? Will you still be here?" Lissa leaned against the banister, but fell through. "Holy crap." She stood up straight again and leaned back on her heels.
"I will still be here, yes, but not in a way that other can interact with me. You will be the only one who can see me. Be careful when you speak to me," he told her and clapped his hands.
"Wait! My other question!" Lissa shouted. She felt different. She looked down and saw she looked fatter in a bulky sweater and faded blue jeans. Her boots, slightly ancient and scarred, felt tight on her feet.
"Honey, who are you talking to?" a firm male voice called. The body the voice belonged to stepped into the foyer and looked around.
Lissa's eyes widened when she saw Delemir. He was dressed casually, and his blonde hair was cut normally as you would see any other man's hair. His ears weren't pointed.
"No one," she said, in slight shock but forcing herself over it. "How are you?" Her question was as forced as her calm was.
Delemir looked at her once more strangely, then, obviously deciding he had imagined her yelling, smiled. "I'm fine. How are you?" He stepped forward and placed his hand on her stomach. "Both of you?"
'Both of us?' Lissa asked herself. She looked around her and saw the man still standing there, a grin on his face. "I'm-We're fine," she improvised, feeling sick suddenly. She lifted her hand to her forehead and tried to keep herself from swaying.
"I remember once I said you'd be a great lawyer. I stand corrected, while you hardly stand at all. You are still a terrible liar." Delemir kissed her forehead beside her fingertips gently. "Come with me. You need to sit down. What did the doctor say?" he asked, leading her to the living room. There were toys scattered here and there on the floor and a little boy about six walked in, carrying a truck.
"Mommy!" he exclaimed.
"Hold on, Adam. Mommy and Daddy are talking. Can you go play in the other room?" Delemir requested.
"Okay," Adam said.
'I don't believe this,' Lissa thought to herself.
"Well?" Delemir's calm voice intruded on her thoughts.
"What? Well what?" Lissa shook her head and saw the man, looking odd in his dark donned clothes against the light colored walls.
"What did the doctor say?" Delemir repeated, sitting beside her on the couch and nestling her head against his shoulder.
Lissa looked to the man, standing in the corner by the fireplace, and felt desperate for anything. Then, a snatch of memory came to her. "He said everything's fine. We will have a healthy baby girl by July. Around my birthday," Lissa said, shocked. What was happening? Why was she dreaming this? Was this what she really wanted?
"That's wonderful!" Delemir turned her to kiss her firmly on her lips. "What shall we name her?" he asked.
"Genevieve," Lissa said at once. "I've always liked that name."
Suddenly, the feeling of shock slowly dissipated and utter glee replaced it. The questions that had formed in her mind disappeared. "Genevieve it is. Genevieve Hogan." Delemir said if softly before he kissed Lissa again.
Oh, everything felt so right. Everything felt so perfect, then and there. When Delemir drew away, he leaned back and surveyed the room. "Your artwork is brilliant, my love. I'm glad that you gave up writing to study art," he said. "I love you."
'Wait, that doesn't fit,' Lissa told herself. 'I would never give up writing. Never, not for anything.'
Looking around the room made her forget that thought slightly, but only press it to the back of her mind. There were scenes of a swan swimming in a lake with flowers around it, and two lovers embraced under a tree branch at the bank of the lake. On another drawing, there was a ballerina in a pirouette with a smile on her face. And yet another one was of herself and Delemir and Adam, all standing in front of the house together.
"I love you," she heard herself say to Delemir. She stood and smiled. "I should work on my next piece of work to add to our collection. It's what I think Genevieve will look like when she's born. I just thought of drawing it."
"Go, my love. I cleaned your studio for you upstairs. Everything is in order. If you need anything, ask me," Delemir said, sounding much like a Shakespearean actor.
"Mommy, Mommy!" Adam cried as he ran in the room. "Uncle Ken is on TV! Come see, come see!" He lifted his small hand up for Lissa to take it.
When she reached out, her hand went through his as a thought came to her mind again. 'What does my brother do for a living? What do I do for a living? Do I draw? What does Delemir do for a living? Clean our house? My house?' she thought.
She looked in the corner where the man had previously been, smiling, and saw him looking infuriated.
"Why am I here? I don't want this! I don't want to draw! I want to write!" she exclaimed.
"My love, what are you talking about? I remember a few months after we married, you said you were going to give up writing for drawing. That was when we found out you were going to have Adam," Delemir said, looking at her in a concerned sort of way.
"No, I didn't. I don't remember that. In fact, I don't remember having Adam, or being impregnated with him! I don't even remember being impregnated with this child I'm claimed to be carrying, Delemir! I don't remember marrying you or anything!"
"Mommy, are you all right? Mommy, are you mad at Daddy?" the little child's voice came from below her.
"I'm not your mommy, kid. You're just a figment of my imagination. So you are!" She pointed at Delemir as the room began to spin. "All of this is just my-Wait. No it isn't. You!" She whirled on the dark figure that was increasing by the minute. "This is all your doing! Let me out! Let me out! Let me go!" she cried, charging towards him.
"I tried to let you have all you wanted, Melissa, but you had to think too much and be too logical! Now, you must pay!" the figure cried. He thrust his hands out and sent her flying against the wall. She hissed out a breath in pain as the scenery changed to a fiery court.
"Bite me, Barbie boy!" she cried painfully as tears spilled over her cheeks from the pain. "This isn't what I want! You don't know what I want! Leave me alone!"
She screamed loudly as she felt a searing heat through her body and increase over her stomach. Her body began to quake violently and she heard herself screaming repetitively, louder and harder each time. The sound was bloodcurdling.
"You must pay!" the man yelled at her before he lifted his hands in the air.
Then, Lissa felt a biting cold throughout her body, and she felt suddenly empty. She trembled not from pain, but from the cold she felt nipping at her that came from her bones. She felt the tears still running hot down her cheeks, but felt everything inside of her freeze.
"Delemir," she whispered quietly before she blacked out.
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Delemir sighed in his sleep as he turned in his bed. He pulled the flannel blanket tighter around him as he felt a slight chill go through him. Then, he felt his warmth restored through his body. A smile crept onto his lips as he dreamt.
He was flying, the air whooshing around him swiftly, blowing his hair out of his face. He didn't feel cold, though, but still warm as he saw clouds around him. They were big and puffy and wet. He fell through one and his hair was damp, as were his clothes, but he didn't care. He was flying, so he was content.
When he saw the land coming up to meet him quickly, but slowing gradually, he felt dismayed that the thrill couldn't have lasted longer. He landed on a rock that seemed familiar in some way to him. He looked around. He was in a deep wood. The light that filtered through the leaves above him was soft and a light green. The air around him was sweet and soft. He could nearly hear the trees growing around him.
Delemir turned and saw Lothlórien around him. He also saw the Elves of his kind, but they were frozen in what they had been doing. Some were socializing with those around them; others were walking to or from the bathing pool. There were a few who were going to their flets to rest or to wake others up.
'What time is it?' Delemir asked himself. He looked up and the sun was hidden in the sky.
"It is whatever time you want it to be," a cold, nonchalant voice said from behind him.
Delemir turned and saw a very familiar, dark cloaked figure. "You," he hissed.
"Yes, me. I am thrilled you remember!" the man exclaimed, mock happy.
"Who are you?" Delemir spat, hardly wanting to know but feeling that he needed to.
"Some call me Morier (Dark One); others, such as yourself, would call me Onagurtha (Giver of Death). But the name I was bestowed with at birth is Onaumbar (Giver of Fate)," he said.
Delemir sneered. "Fate? What is my fate to be then? To live in a world that I am unfamiliar with for the rest of my life with a woman I love whom I cannot be with for eternity since she is a mortal?" he spat.
Onaumbar threw his head back and laughed. "You always were good for a laugh, Delemir," the death giver said.
"You-"
"Yes, I have watched you your entire life. As with all of the other Elves I killed when I stole your soul from you. But, it was a pity I couldn't take it with me. The Valar wouldn't allow me to. They said you had 'too much time left to live for' and you had 'love to find.' So, they sent you to your woman's world. There, you would fall in love with her and live for all you had left with her happily ever after." Onaumbar didn't sound exactly thrilled with the plan of the Valar.
"Lissa," Delemir said quietly. "Have you done anything to her? Have you harmed her? If you have touched her, I will make sure you come to an end!" Delemir attempted to charge the man, but invisible confines kept him where he was.
"Be silent, Elf. I am thinking." Onaumbar paced the ground. "Let me see. I let your woman live how she wished, so I will let you live how you wish here in Lothlórien. Does that sound like a fair deal?" he asked, looking at Delemir.
"You are the most nefarious creature that has ever walked this planet!" Delemir hissed, spitting at the man's feet.
"You dare insult me!" Onaumbar merely made a motion with his hand and Delemir felt as if he had been backhanded by a freight train's engine going ninety miles an hour. "Next time, watch what you say, or it will not be you whom I force the payment of your life on," the figure said lowly. "I am not one to let down my promises." Delemir was still pulling himself back from the shock of the force that he had been hit with. He reached up to see if he was bleeding and winced from the slightest touch on his cheek. He wasn't bleeding, but his face hurt terribly. "Now, if we are done conversing," Onaumbar said loudly, hovering in the air. "I believe it is time you lived in Lothlórien again." He clapped his hands and two little Elflings ran past Delemir.
Delemir looked up and saw the world he formerly lived in moving quickly around him.
"I will not believe this! You are trying to trick me! I will not let you!" Delemir shouted, looking up. He heard a menacing laugh all around him.
"Delemir, my friend. Who are you shouting at?" One of the Elves Delemir had been friends with before coming to DC touched his arm.
"Leave me alone," Delemir said, jumping away from the touch. "This is all fake. You are fake, Lothlórien is fake. This is a dream!"
"Are you ill, Delemir? Why are you yelling? We are not fake," another Elf said. He looked at Delemir with concern.
"Yes, you are. I am not ill. I am not sick. I am not crazy! This is fake! Let me wake up! Let me out of here! I do not wish to be here anymore. I love Melissa. I wish to be with her." Delemir sank to his knees slowly and lifted his hands to the sides of his face. "Let me go back to her. Now." A tear spilled over his cheek, then another and another.
"You will not leave without a mark!" the, oh, so dreadfully familiar voice shouted. Delemir felt a familiar heat in his body. The same one he had felt when he had been alive in Lothlórien. The heat was accentuated with a blinding flash of pain deep in his heart. His pulse sped up. His heart raced and jumped in his chest. Then the numbing cold ran through him.
"No!" Delemir screamed.
Delemir sprang upright in his bed and heard a shriek from downstairs. He tried to move, but felt his heart in pain that it caused his eyes to fill. Ignoring the blinding pain, he jumped out of the bed and stumbled to the floor. He heard another shriek and forced himself to stand.
"I'm coming, Melissa," he said quietly. "I'm coming." He repeated that to himself as a chant and limped to the door. He threw it open and heard every dog in the neighborhood barking loudly, as if they knew of the evil around them.
Delemir nearly fell down the steps, but he reached the ground floor, the pain in his heart never subsiding or crossing over to worse. It was a constant throb that felt like a hole was being drilled in him. It was nearly unbearable, but he forced himself to carry on and go to Lissa.
She screamed again as he was at her door. Her cry was terrible, as if someone was attempting to murder her.
"No, no! Leave me alone!" she cried.
Delemir hurried to her bedside and sat down beside her. "Lissa! Melissa, wake up! Open your eyes and look at me, Melissa!" he demanded. He took her shoulders in his hands and shook her.
That was when he felt the tears around her. How long had she been like this? How long had she been screaming? How long had tears welled in her eyes and spilled from under her closed eyelids?
"Melissa, wake up," he yelled to her.
Instantly, as if a trigger had been pulled, her eyes shot open and darted around the room. She had been in the midst of yelling Delemir's name when her eyes focused on him.
"Delemir," she whispered, barely audible. She sat up and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh, Delemir!" She sobbed against his shoulder, still feeling the numbing cold inside of her.
Delemir gently rubbed her back, but stopped when she tensed against him and hissed the words 'It hurts' between her teeth.
He rubbed her hair instead, and pressed a kiss to her cheek where a tear was. He held her tighter against him and let her head rest on the spot between the top of his chest and his chin.
"Shh, shh, shh," he soothed when she continued to sob his name. "I'm here. I'm here."
Lissa attempted to take a breath, but it only came in as a sobbing gasp for air. She clung tighter to Delemir, unwilling to let go. Her breathing was still sobs, but she tried to calm it. Delemir tried to calm her, too, best she could. He took a shuddered breath and felt Lissa go pliant against him, her breathing calmer finally.
Lissa still hiccuped, but she could breathe. Though each time she took a breath of air, it felt like her throat was set on fire. She snuggled closer to Delemir for warmth.
"Blanket," she said quietly.
Delemir reached behind him and pulled the quilt she kept folded at the foot of her bed around them. He laid them both down and pulled all of the blankets over both of them. He pulled Lissa close against him and felt her shiver.
"I dreamed, Delemir. I had a terrible dream," Lissa managed to whisper to him. "At first, it seemed like a great dream, with everything I wanted," she continued without persuasion. But she stopped for a moment, remembering their status in the dream. The man had said that was what she truly wanted. Was it?
"What? What else?" Delemir asked, still stroking her hair. He kissed her cheek again gently and held her; just held her.
"You were in my dream, Delemir. You and I were married, and we had children. We had a son named Adam. I was carrying another child, our daughter, named Genevieve." She felt Delemir wince slightly, but continue to hold her close. "I remember I came inside, and you asked me how I was. I said I was fine, but I was a little dizzy. You took me to sit down in the living room. It was this house, Delemir. This house, here." Because she felt like she was going to cry again, Lissa took a shuddered breath.
"There was artwork all on the walls, but I didn't notice it until later. Adam came in, ecstatic to see me, but you told him we were talking. He went back into the dining room, or my room-Oh, Lord, in here!-and you asked me what the doctor said that day. I felt a wave of panic. I couldn't remember anything for a split second, then it all came to me. The doctor had said the baby was fine and I would be due by my birthday in July.
"Then, you kissed me and looked around the room. You said you were glad that I had given up writing for art. You told me you loved me." Lissa paused and let a tear fall down her cheek since she knew it could never be. "I thought that it couldn't be right," she continued a moment later, "that I would give up writing, my passion from age twelve, to draw, something I'm not that good at. I saw these pictures of things I had drawn-of people, which I can't draw for anything." She sighed audibly.
"After looking around, you kissed me again and everything felt so right. I stood up and announced I felt like drawing what I thought Genevieve would look like when she would be born. You said you had cleaned by studio, then Adam came in, saying my brother was on the television. Then, the thought came to be as I tried to take Adam's little hand." Lissa's voice cracked as she remembered the dream, the feeling of actually seeing something that was part her, of feeling something inside of her. "My hand passed through him, and I knew I couldn't remember what my brother did for a living. Then, I couldn't remember anything-anything about us, about Adam, about when we were married and everything!"
Lissa took a few calming breaths before letting out a helpless whimper. "You do not have to tell me if you can't, Melissa," Delemir told her, shocked by the vividness of the dream.
"No," she insisted, her voice weak. "No," she repeated, stronger. "Then the dark figure-" Delemir jumped at that, but would wait until she was finished speaking "-that had told me that...all of that in my dream was what I really wanted, he looked furious. He told me that he tried to let me have everything I wanted, but that I thought too much about it. He said that I must pay."
Then she lost it. She sobbed again. "Then, I remember this blinding heat going throughout my entire body. It hurt so bad, Delemir. It hurt. I still hurt, still feel it inside of me." A sob racked through her body. "I looked at the man and-" She broke off in a sob. "I looked at him and he lifted his hands in the air. Then, I felt so cold. So terribly cold, I thought I would die. Then, I felt so empty, like there was nothing left in me to keep me going to or to live for. It felt awful. I still feel it. I want it to go away."
Delemir suddenly felt a wave of fury go through him. He had taken Lissa in a dream of what may have seemed reality for a short while, would have seemed real. He had let her live a lie. Delemir would make sure it was Onaumbar who paid. Delemir zoned back in when he heard a knock at the door in the foyer.
"Lissa," he murmured, feeling her move away from him.
She sighed, knowing that she couldn't let the door go unanswered at three- thirty in the morning. It must have been important. "I'll be right back," she told Delemir and slipped out of bed and into a robe. She walked through the house quickly to the front door. Looking through the curtains, she saw her neighbor, Alan. She quickly opened the door.
"Are you all right, Lissa?" he asked as soon as he stepped in. He took Lissa's hands and felt the cold.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" She faked a yawn so it would seem like he had woken her.
"Well, for one, I'm three houses away and I heard you screaming bloody murder. Then, every dog in the neighborhood is barking their heads off, and it seems you've only woken now," Alan said, lifting an eyebrow.
"Oh," Lissa murmured. "Well, maybe some kid down the block is blowing one of those whistles only dogs can here into a loudspeaker."
Alan sighed, grinning wryly to himself. "You always were strange when waking in the middle of the morning," he said. "We both know that's highly unlikely. Why were you screaming?"
Lissa sighed; "I had a weird, frightful dream."
"You always have weird, frightful dreams," Alan told her.
"This one was different." She shivered at the memory. "More vivid, almost as if it weren't a dream but a reality and a truth. It was strange."
"Well, if you need anything, come see me, all right?"
"Sure." Lissa smiled.
"'Night." Alan waved then disappeared into the night to go back to his house.
Lissa sighed as she shut and locked the door. She turned, leaning against the door heavily. She felt her body begin to shake violently. All rational thought left her mind and all she should think of was the dream. What had kept her out of shock while she had been talking to Alan? She didn't know.
"Lissa?"
She heard Delemir's voice in the darkness beside her. She jolted at that, and brought her hand to her heart. Taking a shuddering breath, she attempted to calm herself.
"I still feel it," she whispered. "I still feel it."
"I know. He came to me too. But, I do not believe he scared me as he did you," Delemir murmured, taking Lissa into his embrace. He felt her quaking against him and leaning away from him. He only held her tighter then.
Lissa pulled herself from Delemir's embrace and they walked into the kitchen. Lissa, in an attempt to keep her cool, brought out the makings of coffee and set up the percolator. She sat down in a chair at the bar, finally in control of keeping herself from shaking too terribly.
"What did you dream?" Lissa asked finally as she heard the percolator bubbling.
"I beg your pardon?" Delemir looked up from the spot he was staring at on the floor. He was standing in the threshold of the door between the kitchen and the dining room.
"You said he came to you, too. What did he make you believe?" Lissa repeated, letting her gaze stray to his.
"He did not make me believe anything. I refused to for I knew it was not real. But, he set me back in Lórien among those I previously knew when I lived there."
Lissa stood and walked to him. She felt a wave of sympathy for him, knowing how hard it must have been to go back to a place he had lived in his entire life, but to only go back in a dream. She lifted a hand to his cheek and felt him wince.
"Sorry," he murmured, taking her hand in his.
"What is it?" Lissa drew her hand from his and let her fingertips glide over the redness in his skin.
"In my dream, he...he used his evil against me. It was as though I was backhanded," Delemir said quietly, wanting to draw away from the pain, but knew Lissa had to touch, had to feel.
"Is he aloud to do that? I read a book once, when I was younger that was sort of like this where the bad guy wasn't aloud to touch-"
"You worry too much." He took her hand in his again and brought it to his lips. "Don't."
Lissa sighed as the percolator finished bubbling. She walked away from Delemir to the cabinet for a mug. "Do you want coffee?" she asked him.
"I have never tried it," Delemir answered, still leaning in the threshold.
"Pitiful. You can try it some other time, then, since it's never good to try coffee out for the first time under stress." Lissa filled her mug then added sugar and milk. As she stirred it, she moved to set it on the bar where she had been sitting. "I wonder..." She trailed off then stood slowly. She walked over to Delemir and surveyed him in an easy once over.
"What are you-"
"Shh, I'm thinking." Running him over once more, she let out a breath. "Are you sure he didn't hurt you in any other way than this?" She lifted her hand to his cheek and let it linger a mere half inch away.
Delemir sighed, remembering his entire dream. It had been so vivid, so real. No, that was what Onaumbar wished for him to believe. It wasn't real. It was as fake as any other dream.
'What if this is a dream?' a cold voice rang in his head, causing him to feel the deathly familiar pain in his chest.
He looked down at Lissa, saw the concern in her eyes, and took her small hand in his. "Yes," he murmured quietly. He brought her hand over his heart and let it rest there.
Lissa immediately felt the racing of Delemir's heart. She also felt the heat, the pain, there. She concentrated hard, trying to filter his pain into her.
It worked.
She suddenly felt a horrible feeling just over her heart, but ignored it. It was soft, though, compared to what she knew Delemir was experiencing. Or had experienced, she mused.
Unable to contain herself any longer, she leaned forward and snaked her arms around his neck. She pressed her cheek against his and sighed. "I'm sorry," she murmured.
"For what?"
"You once told me you were sorry for the hurt I felt, since it still hurts, and that I was hurt. I guess I'm going to tell you the same thing." Though Lissa tried not to cry, it was in vain. "I'm sorry it hurts, Delemir," she said, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I wish I could help you, but I can't."
"Shh. There is nothing either of us can do. We only need to find out why, exactly, I was sent here and what I was sent here for." Though Delemir already knew. He wasn't going to tell her yet.
"All right," Lissa murmured, sniffling and pulling away. She kissed Delemir's cheek gently and sat down to brood over her coffee at four in the morning.
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Ta-da! The dreams! Finally! Like or no? DISCLAIMER: Still, as was the last time I check, I do not own anything from the Lotr world. But I do, however, own Connor (he's gone. He was getting annoying, so I rid us of him), Onaumbar (evil as he is :D), Alan (as briefly as he was shown here), the percolator Lissa used (it's downstairs in my kitchen), and the house in Lissa's dream. To answer any questions that may come up (and just because I feel like being odd), I'll state the obvious here. I cannot draw people. I can do landscapes and still life shots, but not people. I do have a brother named Ken, of which he is a waiter (or a cook) at a restaurant right now (So unless he turned into an actor in the future nine years, he'll be a computer programmer probably or something I haven't the faintest idea of.). Mmm. That's all I can think of. Next chapter, I don't know what it'll contain. Bouncing ideas from this and that and things I do at home. Enjoy!
Blessed be, Lissa
The sheets were rumpled from tossing and turning. The full moon shone brightly through the open windows in the clear January sky, letting moonbeams fall onto the bed to show the outline of a small, feminine form under the covers. She rolled onto her side, whimpering slightly in her sleep. She grabbed the bedspread tightly and held on until her knuckles turned white as she flew through the air wildly in her dream.
"Where am I!" she called out when she found she was standing on the ground. She was outside in the snow, but she felt nothing. Not the cold, or even warmth in her soft, thin nightgown. She looked around her and saw her house. Smoke was puffing out of the fireplace and the air smelled of cedar wood. Turning around again at the sound of a soft, cackling laugh, she saw a tall, handsome, and dark man. His long fall of black hair was bound in a tie behind him, and a black cloak rested on his shoulders. His midnight blue eyes were fixed on her.
"You are inside of a dream," he told her. His voice was low and rumbling; melodic.
"Whose-Whose dream?" Lissa ventured to ask.
The man stepped forward slowly, his cloak billowing out behind him in a wind that neither of them felt. "Yours. This dream is what you wish for truly," he told her. "Come." He walked up the stairs to the porch and straight through the white fence.
"How did you-How did you do that?" she wanted to know, going up the stairs as well. She stuck her hand out and touched the wooden gate, but didn't feel the cold she had expected to. "Why can't I go through it like you?"
"The answer to your first question, you will learn in time. The second answer is that I imagined myself able to go through it, and I did. Imagine yourself able to go through the fence like a gentle breeze flows through the soft material of your nightdress," the man told her. He gestured to her peach nightgown as he spoke.
Lissa looked down and then up again at him. He nodded and told her telepathically, 'Imagine yourself.' She shut her eyes and took a step forward through the gate. When she was on the other side, she laughed. "I did it!"
"Yes, you did." The man spoke lowly, as if taking a mental note as he talked. "Come," he said again. Instead of going through the door, he opened it and stepped in. When Lissa walked behind him, he stopped and spun around to face her. "I will clap my hands, and you will be in your dream as someone taking part. You must be prepared for what you see. Are you ready?" "No. What do you mean 'be prepared' and 'someone taking part'? Will you still be here?" Lissa leaned against the banister, but fell through. "Holy crap." She stood up straight again and leaned back on her heels.
"I will still be here, yes, but not in a way that other can interact with me. You will be the only one who can see me. Be careful when you speak to me," he told her and clapped his hands.
"Wait! My other question!" Lissa shouted. She felt different. She looked down and saw she looked fatter in a bulky sweater and faded blue jeans. Her boots, slightly ancient and scarred, felt tight on her feet.
"Honey, who are you talking to?" a firm male voice called. The body the voice belonged to stepped into the foyer and looked around.
Lissa's eyes widened when she saw Delemir. He was dressed casually, and his blonde hair was cut normally as you would see any other man's hair. His ears weren't pointed.
"No one," she said, in slight shock but forcing herself over it. "How are you?" Her question was as forced as her calm was.
Delemir looked at her once more strangely, then, obviously deciding he had imagined her yelling, smiled. "I'm fine. How are you?" He stepped forward and placed his hand on her stomach. "Both of you?"
'Both of us?' Lissa asked herself. She looked around her and saw the man still standing there, a grin on his face. "I'm-We're fine," she improvised, feeling sick suddenly. She lifted her hand to her forehead and tried to keep herself from swaying.
"I remember once I said you'd be a great lawyer. I stand corrected, while you hardly stand at all. You are still a terrible liar." Delemir kissed her forehead beside her fingertips gently. "Come with me. You need to sit down. What did the doctor say?" he asked, leading her to the living room. There were toys scattered here and there on the floor and a little boy about six walked in, carrying a truck.
"Mommy!" he exclaimed.
"Hold on, Adam. Mommy and Daddy are talking. Can you go play in the other room?" Delemir requested.
"Okay," Adam said.
'I don't believe this,' Lissa thought to herself.
"Well?" Delemir's calm voice intruded on her thoughts.
"What? Well what?" Lissa shook her head and saw the man, looking odd in his dark donned clothes against the light colored walls.
"What did the doctor say?" Delemir repeated, sitting beside her on the couch and nestling her head against his shoulder.
Lissa looked to the man, standing in the corner by the fireplace, and felt desperate for anything. Then, a snatch of memory came to her. "He said everything's fine. We will have a healthy baby girl by July. Around my birthday," Lissa said, shocked. What was happening? Why was she dreaming this? Was this what she really wanted?
"That's wonderful!" Delemir turned her to kiss her firmly on her lips. "What shall we name her?" he asked.
"Genevieve," Lissa said at once. "I've always liked that name."
Suddenly, the feeling of shock slowly dissipated and utter glee replaced it. The questions that had formed in her mind disappeared. "Genevieve it is. Genevieve Hogan." Delemir said if softly before he kissed Lissa again.
Oh, everything felt so right. Everything felt so perfect, then and there. When Delemir drew away, he leaned back and surveyed the room. "Your artwork is brilliant, my love. I'm glad that you gave up writing to study art," he said. "I love you."
'Wait, that doesn't fit,' Lissa told herself. 'I would never give up writing. Never, not for anything.'
Looking around the room made her forget that thought slightly, but only press it to the back of her mind. There were scenes of a swan swimming in a lake with flowers around it, and two lovers embraced under a tree branch at the bank of the lake. On another drawing, there was a ballerina in a pirouette with a smile on her face. And yet another one was of herself and Delemir and Adam, all standing in front of the house together.
"I love you," she heard herself say to Delemir. She stood and smiled. "I should work on my next piece of work to add to our collection. It's what I think Genevieve will look like when she's born. I just thought of drawing it."
"Go, my love. I cleaned your studio for you upstairs. Everything is in order. If you need anything, ask me," Delemir said, sounding much like a Shakespearean actor.
"Mommy, Mommy!" Adam cried as he ran in the room. "Uncle Ken is on TV! Come see, come see!" He lifted his small hand up for Lissa to take it.
When she reached out, her hand went through his as a thought came to her mind again. 'What does my brother do for a living? What do I do for a living? Do I draw? What does Delemir do for a living? Clean our house? My house?' she thought.
She looked in the corner where the man had previously been, smiling, and saw him looking infuriated.
"Why am I here? I don't want this! I don't want to draw! I want to write!" she exclaimed.
"My love, what are you talking about? I remember a few months after we married, you said you were going to give up writing for drawing. That was when we found out you were going to have Adam," Delemir said, looking at her in a concerned sort of way.
"No, I didn't. I don't remember that. In fact, I don't remember having Adam, or being impregnated with him! I don't even remember being impregnated with this child I'm claimed to be carrying, Delemir! I don't remember marrying you or anything!"
"Mommy, are you all right? Mommy, are you mad at Daddy?" the little child's voice came from below her.
"I'm not your mommy, kid. You're just a figment of my imagination. So you are!" She pointed at Delemir as the room began to spin. "All of this is just my-Wait. No it isn't. You!" She whirled on the dark figure that was increasing by the minute. "This is all your doing! Let me out! Let me out! Let me go!" she cried, charging towards him.
"I tried to let you have all you wanted, Melissa, but you had to think too much and be too logical! Now, you must pay!" the figure cried. He thrust his hands out and sent her flying against the wall. She hissed out a breath in pain as the scenery changed to a fiery court.
"Bite me, Barbie boy!" she cried painfully as tears spilled over her cheeks from the pain. "This isn't what I want! You don't know what I want! Leave me alone!"
She screamed loudly as she felt a searing heat through her body and increase over her stomach. Her body began to quake violently and she heard herself screaming repetitively, louder and harder each time. The sound was bloodcurdling.
"You must pay!" the man yelled at her before he lifted his hands in the air.
Then, Lissa felt a biting cold throughout her body, and she felt suddenly empty. She trembled not from pain, but from the cold she felt nipping at her that came from her bones. She felt the tears still running hot down her cheeks, but felt everything inside of her freeze.
"Delemir," she whispered quietly before she blacked out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Delemir sighed in his sleep as he turned in his bed. He pulled the flannel blanket tighter around him as he felt a slight chill go through him. Then, he felt his warmth restored through his body. A smile crept onto his lips as he dreamt.
He was flying, the air whooshing around him swiftly, blowing his hair out of his face. He didn't feel cold, though, but still warm as he saw clouds around him. They were big and puffy and wet. He fell through one and his hair was damp, as were his clothes, but he didn't care. He was flying, so he was content.
When he saw the land coming up to meet him quickly, but slowing gradually, he felt dismayed that the thrill couldn't have lasted longer. He landed on a rock that seemed familiar in some way to him. He looked around. He was in a deep wood. The light that filtered through the leaves above him was soft and a light green. The air around him was sweet and soft. He could nearly hear the trees growing around him.
Delemir turned and saw Lothlórien around him. He also saw the Elves of his kind, but they were frozen in what they had been doing. Some were socializing with those around them; others were walking to or from the bathing pool. There were a few who were going to their flets to rest or to wake others up.
'What time is it?' Delemir asked himself. He looked up and the sun was hidden in the sky.
"It is whatever time you want it to be," a cold, nonchalant voice said from behind him.
Delemir turned and saw a very familiar, dark cloaked figure. "You," he hissed.
"Yes, me. I am thrilled you remember!" the man exclaimed, mock happy.
"Who are you?" Delemir spat, hardly wanting to know but feeling that he needed to.
"Some call me Morier (Dark One); others, such as yourself, would call me Onagurtha (Giver of Death). But the name I was bestowed with at birth is Onaumbar (Giver of Fate)," he said.
Delemir sneered. "Fate? What is my fate to be then? To live in a world that I am unfamiliar with for the rest of my life with a woman I love whom I cannot be with for eternity since she is a mortal?" he spat.
Onaumbar threw his head back and laughed. "You always were good for a laugh, Delemir," the death giver said.
"You-"
"Yes, I have watched you your entire life. As with all of the other Elves I killed when I stole your soul from you. But, it was a pity I couldn't take it with me. The Valar wouldn't allow me to. They said you had 'too much time left to live for' and you had 'love to find.' So, they sent you to your woman's world. There, you would fall in love with her and live for all you had left with her happily ever after." Onaumbar didn't sound exactly thrilled with the plan of the Valar.
"Lissa," Delemir said quietly. "Have you done anything to her? Have you harmed her? If you have touched her, I will make sure you come to an end!" Delemir attempted to charge the man, but invisible confines kept him where he was.
"Be silent, Elf. I am thinking." Onaumbar paced the ground. "Let me see. I let your woman live how she wished, so I will let you live how you wish here in Lothlórien. Does that sound like a fair deal?" he asked, looking at Delemir.
"You are the most nefarious creature that has ever walked this planet!" Delemir hissed, spitting at the man's feet.
"You dare insult me!" Onaumbar merely made a motion with his hand and Delemir felt as if he had been backhanded by a freight train's engine going ninety miles an hour. "Next time, watch what you say, or it will not be you whom I force the payment of your life on," the figure said lowly. "I am not one to let down my promises." Delemir was still pulling himself back from the shock of the force that he had been hit with. He reached up to see if he was bleeding and winced from the slightest touch on his cheek. He wasn't bleeding, but his face hurt terribly. "Now, if we are done conversing," Onaumbar said loudly, hovering in the air. "I believe it is time you lived in Lothlórien again." He clapped his hands and two little Elflings ran past Delemir.
Delemir looked up and saw the world he formerly lived in moving quickly around him.
"I will not believe this! You are trying to trick me! I will not let you!" Delemir shouted, looking up. He heard a menacing laugh all around him.
"Delemir, my friend. Who are you shouting at?" One of the Elves Delemir had been friends with before coming to DC touched his arm.
"Leave me alone," Delemir said, jumping away from the touch. "This is all fake. You are fake, Lothlórien is fake. This is a dream!"
"Are you ill, Delemir? Why are you yelling? We are not fake," another Elf said. He looked at Delemir with concern.
"Yes, you are. I am not ill. I am not sick. I am not crazy! This is fake! Let me wake up! Let me out of here! I do not wish to be here anymore. I love Melissa. I wish to be with her." Delemir sank to his knees slowly and lifted his hands to the sides of his face. "Let me go back to her. Now." A tear spilled over his cheek, then another and another.
"You will not leave without a mark!" the, oh, so dreadfully familiar voice shouted. Delemir felt a familiar heat in his body. The same one he had felt when he had been alive in Lothlórien. The heat was accentuated with a blinding flash of pain deep in his heart. His pulse sped up. His heart raced and jumped in his chest. Then the numbing cold ran through him.
"No!" Delemir screamed.
Delemir sprang upright in his bed and heard a shriek from downstairs. He tried to move, but felt his heart in pain that it caused his eyes to fill. Ignoring the blinding pain, he jumped out of the bed and stumbled to the floor. He heard another shriek and forced himself to stand.
"I'm coming, Melissa," he said quietly. "I'm coming." He repeated that to himself as a chant and limped to the door. He threw it open and heard every dog in the neighborhood barking loudly, as if they knew of the evil around them.
Delemir nearly fell down the steps, but he reached the ground floor, the pain in his heart never subsiding or crossing over to worse. It was a constant throb that felt like a hole was being drilled in him. It was nearly unbearable, but he forced himself to carry on and go to Lissa.
She screamed again as he was at her door. Her cry was terrible, as if someone was attempting to murder her.
"No, no! Leave me alone!" she cried.
Delemir hurried to her bedside and sat down beside her. "Lissa! Melissa, wake up! Open your eyes and look at me, Melissa!" he demanded. He took her shoulders in his hands and shook her.
That was when he felt the tears around her. How long had she been like this? How long had she been screaming? How long had tears welled in her eyes and spilled from under her closed eyelids?
"Melissa, wake up," he yelled to her.
Instantly, as if a trigger had been pulled, her eyes shot open and darted around the room. She had been in the midst of yelling Delemir's name when her eyes focused on him.
"Delemir," she whispered, barely audible. She sat up and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh, Delemir!" She sobbed against his shoulder, still feeling the numbing cold inside of her.
Delemir gently rubbed her back, but stopped when she tensed against him and hissed the words 'It hurts' between her teeth.
He rubbed her hair instead, and pressed a kiss to her cheek where a tear was. He held her tighter against him and let her head rest on the spot between the top of his chest and his chin.
"Shh, shh, shh," he soothed when she continued to sob his name. "I'm here. I'm here."
Lissa attempted to take a breath, but it only came in as a sobbing gasp for air. She clung tighter to Delemir, unwilling to let go. Her breathing was still sobs, but she tried to calm it. Delemir tried to calm her, too, best she could. He took a shuddered breath and felt Lissa go pliant against him, her breathing calmer finally.
Lissa still hiccuped, but she could breathe. Though each time she took a breath of air, it felt like her throat was set on fire. She snuggled closer to Delemir for warmth.
"Blanket," she said quietly.
Delemir reached behind him and pulled the quilt she kept folded at the foot of her bed around them. He laid them both down and pulled all of the blankets over both of them. He pulled Lissa close against him and felt her shiver.
"I dreamed, Delemir. I had a terrible dream," Lissa managed to whisper to him. "At first, it seemed like a great dream, with everything I wanted," she continued without persuasion. But she stopped for a moment, remembering their status in the dream. The man had said that was what she truly wanted. Was it?
"What? What else?" Delemir asked, still stroking her hair. He kissed her cheek again gently and held her; just held her.
"You were in my dream, Delemir. You and I were married, and we had children. We had a son named Adam. I was carrying another child, our daughter, named Genevieve." She felt Delemir wince slightly, but continue to hold her close. "I remember I came inside, and you asked me how I was. I said I was fine, but I was a little dizzy. You took me to sit down in the living room. It was this house, Delemir. This house, here." Because she felt like she was going to cry again, Lissa took a shuddered breath.
"There was artwork all on the walls, but I didn't notice it until later. Adam came in, ecstatic to see me, but you told him we were talking. He went back into the dining room, or my room-Oh, Lord, in here!-and you asked me what the doctor said that day. I felt a wave of panic. I couldn't remember anything for a split second, then it all came to me. The doctor had said the baby was fine and I would be due by my birthday in July.
"Then, you kissed me and looked around the room. You said you were glad that I had given up writing for art. You told me you loved me." Lissa paused and let a tear fall down her cheek since she knew it could never be. "I thought that it couldn't be right," she continued a moment later, "that I would give up writing, my passion from age twelve, to draw, something I'm not that good at. I saw these pictures of things I had drawn-of people, which I can't draw for anything." She sighed audibly.
"After looking around, you kissed me again and everything felt so right. I stood up and announced I felt like drawing what I thought Genevieve would look like when she would be born. You said you had cleaned by studio, then Adam came in, saying my brother was on the television. Then, the thought came to be as I tried to take Adam's little hand." Lissa's voice cracked as she remembered the dream, the feeling of actually seeing something that was part her, of feeling something inside of her. "My hand passed through him, and I knew I couldn't remember what my brother did for a living. Then, I couldn't remember anything-anything about us, about Adam, about when we were married and everything!"
Lissa took a few calming breaths before letting out a helpless whimper. "You do not have to tell me if you can't, Melissa," Delemir told her, shocked by the vividness of the dream.
"No," she insisted, her voice weak. "No," she repeated, stronger. "Then the dark figure-" Delemir jumped at that, but would wait until she was finished speaking "-that had told me that...all of that in my dream was what I really wanted, he looked furious. He told me that he tried to let me have everything I wanted, but that I thought too much about it. He said that I must pay."
Then she lost it. She sobbed again. "Then, I remember this blinding heat going throughout my entire body. It hurt so bad, Delemir. It hurt. I still hurt, still feel it inside of me." A sob racked through her body. "I looked at the man and-" She broke off in a sob. "I looked at him and he lifted his hands in the air. Then, I felt so cold. So terribly cold, I thought I would die. Then, I felt so empty, like there was nothing left in me to keep me going to or to live for. It felt awful. I still feel it. I want it to go away."
Delemir suddenly felt a wave of fury go through him. He had taken Lissa in a dream of what may have seemed reality for a short while, would have seemed real. He had let her live a lie. Delemir would make sure it was Onaumbar who paid. Delemir zoned back in when he heard a knock at the door in the foyer.
"Lissa," he murmured, feeling her move away from him.
She sighed, knowing that she couldn't let the door go unanswered at three- thirty in the morning. It must have been important. "I'll be right back," she told Delemir and slipped out of bed and into a robe. She walked through the house quickly to the front door. Looking through the curtains, she saw her neighbor, Alan. She quickly opened the door.
"Are you all right, Lissa?" he asked as soon as he stepped in. He took Lissa's hands and felt the cold.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" She faked a yawn so it would seem like he had woken her.
"Well, for one, I'm three houses away and I heard you screaming bloody murder. Then, every dog in the neighborhood is barking their heads off, and it seems you've only woken now," Alan said, lifting an eyebrow.
"Oh," Lissa murmured. "Well, maybe some kid down the block is blowing one of those whistles only dogs can here into a loudspeaker."
Alan sighed, grinning wryly to himself. "You always were strange when waking in the middle of the morning," he said. "We both know that's highly unlikely. Why were you screaming?"
Lissa sighed; "I had a weird, frightful dream."
"You always have weird, frightful dreams," Alan told her.
"This one was different." She shivered at the memory. "More vivid, almost as if it weren't a dream but a reality and a truth. It was strange."
"Well, if you need anything, come see me, all right?"
"Sure." Lissa smiled.
"'Night." Alan waved then disappeared into the night to go back to his house.
Lissa sighed as she shut and locked the door. She turned, leaning against the door heavily. She felt her body begin to shake violently. All rational thought left her mind and all she should think of was the dream. What had kept her out of shock while she had been talking to Alan? She didn't know.
"Lissa?"
She heard Delemir's voice in the darkness beside her. She jolted at that, and brought her hand to her heart. Taking a shuddering breath, she attempted to calm herself.
"I still feel it," she whispered. "I still feel it."
"I know. He came to me too. But, I do not believe he scared me as he did you," Delemir murmured, taking Lissa into his embrace. He felt her quaking against him and leaning away from him. He only held her tighter then.
Lissa pulled herself from Delemir's embrace and they walked into the kitchen. Lissa, in an attempt to keep her cool, brought out the makings of coffee and set up the percolator. She sat down in a chair at the bar, finally in control of keeping herself from shaking too terribly.
"What did you dream?" Lissa asked finally as she heard the percolator bubbling.
"I beg your pardon?" Delemir looked up from the spot he was staring at on the floor. He was standing in the threshold of the door between the kitchen and the dining room.
"You said he came to you, too. What did he make you believe?" Lissa repeated, letting her gaze stray to his.
"He did not make me believe anything. I refused to for I knew it was not real. But, he set me back in Lórien among those I previously knew when I lived there."
Lissa stood and walked to him. She felt a wave of sympathy for him, knowing how hard it must have been to go back to a place he had lived in his entire life, but to only go back in a dream. She lifted a hand to his cheek and felt him wince.
"Sorry," he murmured, taking her hand in his.
"What is it?" Lissa drew her hand from his and let her fingertips glide over the redness in his skin.
"In my dream, he...he used his evil against me. It was as though I was backhanded," Delemir said quietly, wanting to draw away from the pain, but knew Lissa had to touch, had to feel.
"Is he aloud to do that? I read a book once, when I was younger that was sort of like this where the bad guy wasn't aloud to touch-"
"You worry too much." He took her hand in his again and brought it to his lips. "Don't."
Lissa sighed as the percolator finished bubbling. She walked away from Delemir to the cabinet for a mug. "Do you want coffee?" she asked him.
"I have never tried it," Delemir answered, still leaning in the threshold.
"Pitiful. You can try it some other time, then, since it's never good to try coffee out for the first time under stress." Lissa filled her mug then added sugar and milk. As she stirred it, she moved to set it on the bar where she had been sitting. "I wonder..." She trailed off then stood slowly. She walked over to Delemir and surveyed him in an easy once over.
"What are you-"
"Shh, I'm thinking." Running him over once more, she let out a breath. "Are you sure he didn't hurt you in any other way than this?" She lifted her hand to his cheek and let it linger a mere half inch away.
Delemir sighed, remembering his entire dream. It had been so vivid, so real. No, that was what Onaumbar wished for him to believe. It wasn't real. It was as fake as any other dream.
'What if this is a dream?' a cold voice rang in his head, causing him to feel the deathly familiar pain in his chest.
He looked down at Lissa, saw the concern in her eyes, and took her small hand in his. "Yes," he murmured quietly. He brought her hand over his heart and let it rest there.
Lissa immediately felt the racing of Delemir's heart. She also felt the heat, the pain, there. She concentrated hard, trying to filter his pain into her.
It worked.
She suddenly felt a horrible feeling just over her heart, but ignored it. It was soft, though, compared to what she knew Delemir was experiencing. Or had experienced, she mused.
Unable to contain herself any longer, she leaned forward and snaked her arms around his neck. She pressed her cheek against his and sighed. "I'm sorry," she murmured.
"For what?"
"You once told me you were sorry for the hurt I felt, since it still hurts, and that I was hurt. I guess I'm going to tell you the same thing." Though Lissa tried not to cry, it was in vain. "I'm sorry it hurts, Delemir," she said, wiping a tear from her cheek. "I wish I could help you, but I can't."
"Shh. There is nothing either of us can do. We only need to find out why, exactly, I was sent here and what I was sent here for." Though Delemir already knew. He wasn't going to tell her yet.
"All right," Lissa murmured, sniffling and pulling away. She kissed Delemir's cheek gently and sat down to brood over her coffee at four in the morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ta-da! The dreams! Finally! Like or no? DISCLAIMER: Still, as was the last time I check, I do not own anything from the Lotr world. But I do, however, own Connor (he's gone. He was getting annoying, so I rid us of him), Onaumbar (evil as he is :D), Alan (as briefly as he was shown here), the percolator Lissa used (it's downstairs in my kitchen), and the house in Lissa's dream. To answer any questions that may come up (and just because I feel like being odd), I'll state the obvious here. I cannot draw people. I can do landscapes and still life shots, but not people. I do have a brother named Ken, of which he is a waiter (or a cook) at a restaurant right now (So unless he turned into an actor in the future nine years, he'll be a computer programmer probably or something I haven't the faintest idea of.). Mmm. That's all I can think of. Next chapter, I don't know what it'll contain. Bouncing ideas from this and that and things I do at home. Enjoy!
Blessed be, Lissa
