Sark stood in front of the bathroom mirror adjusting his tie. He couldn't believe he had agreed to any of this. Satisfied with the way his tie lay on his shirt, he moved on to buttoning his cuff links. Honestly, he really thought that Sydney had lost her mind when she proposed the situation they were currently in.
He had told her the truth. He was not in love with her.
And he could never be. Love just didn't factor into his life, his plans. He didn't have the time or the desire.
In the back of his head, though, there was a little voice crying that if he ever did want to fall in love, it would be with a woman like Sydney Bristow. Strong, stubborn, intelligent, beautiful. His equal in every single way. It definitely would be a punishment if he had to live with her for the rest of his life.
"But just because I'm not in love doesn't mean I can't have a little fun," he said to his reflection. He winked at himself and turned to leave the bathroom. He was surprised to see Sydney standing in the open doorway of his room.
"Were you flirting with yourself?" she asked with a sly grin.
He smiled at her and held out his hand. "You look absolutely stunning."
Sydney slid her hand into his. "Thank you. It was kind of you to provide me with so many dress choices."
"Your mother left them behind. I hope you're not offended that I offered them to you."
"Not at all. I know that I should be angry and that this secondhand dress thing probably has something to do with a subconscious desire for me to be my mother. But I don't care." Sydney laughed and stood back to take a good look at Sark. "You look very handsome tonight. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were actually making an effort."
"I always like to look good." Sark sighed, realizing he might actually have to cut the sarcasm out of his voice. "I may not be in love with you, Sydney. But I'm still attracted to you."
"Was that an actual honest statement you made?"
"Yes," he said with a laugh. "And you bloody well better not get used to it. I don't like the way it tastes."
They stood in silence staring at each other while still holding hands. Neither really knew what to say to the other. Finally, Sydney broke the silence.
"What don't you ask me?"
"What do you mean?"
"You want to know if I still think I'm in love with you," she said simply. "We've been doing... whatever we're doing for days now. You want to know if anything changed, if I'm still in love with you. So ask."
"Are you?"
She dropped her hand from his and sat down on the bed. Sark sat down on the opposite side of the bed. "Worse than before. I know I shouldn't be, and I know you haven't been especially nice to me the past week. Not more than normal. Which is good. Because if you were ever nice to me, I think it would border on creepy."
"You're leaving tomorrow," he stated simply. He knew she was trying to avoid talking about whatever was occurring between them as much as possible. That didn't mean he should allow her. If she were going to get over this weird stage in her life, he would have to get her to discuss her feelings to death. It was the only logical solution.
"I know I'm leaving tomorrow. Which is why I asked you to look nice for tonight. A little bon voyage for me, you know?"
"Shouldn't you get this situation fixed before you try to return to your beloved CIA?"
"Oh, I will. I have one last step to go through and then I think I'll have you completely out of my system." She stood up and walked over to where he was sitting on the bed.
"Good," he said with a smile as he stood up. "Shall we go then?"
"Wait," she said pushing him back down on the bed. She walked over to the still open door and shut it softly. "I have a few questions for you."
"Like what?"
"I know you're not in love with me. But are you at least attracted to me?"
Sark looked at her face intently. "I can tell this means a lot to you. So I'll be as frank as possible. You are an extremely sexy, intelligent woman, Sydney. Any man would be a fool if they didn't want you. Since the first moment I saw you, with that horrendous magenta wig singing in that nightclub in Paris, I've been attracted to you. Finding out you were Irina's daughter, seeing you in action, realizing how loyal you are to the ones you care for. That only strengthened the attraction. No, I don't love you. But I want you."
"Good," Sydney said as she pushed the straps of her dress down, and the dress fell into a puddle around her feet. "Because I'm going to let you have me."
She saw the heat in his eyes spark up and realized two things. One, he wasn't lying. He really was attracted to her. And two, there was no taking back what she had just done. Even so, she heard him ask softly, "Are you sure about this?"
"Positive. I want you just as much as you want me." She slowly began to loosen his tie. "The mysterious, dangerous man angle works wonders for you." She giggled. "You were right earlier. When you asked if I had ever thought about having sex with you. I have. Numerous times. It's what got me through all those boring SD-6 meetings."
He laughed. "I knew it."
By his loosened tie, she pulled him up off of the bed to stand in front of her. "This isn't going to be gentle," she stated. "And that's the way I want it."
His face immediately sobered, and Sydney was happy to feel his gaze become heated. Sark was surprised that she knew just what buttons to push to get him to want her like he's never wanted anyone before. If he didn't watch himself, he might find that he was actually sad to see her go.
Sydney seized the moment as she noticed he was becoming distracted in his own thoughts. She tightened the hold she had on his tie and yanked his lips to hers in a hard, crushing kiss. A giggle almost erupted from her lips when she realized that his mind might not be into it but his body definitely was.
Sark had been surprised by her aggressive first move but he wasn't one to let her keep the upper hand. That wouldn't be true to his nature. This situation hadn't been his idea. That didn't mean he wasn't going to take advantage of the fact that an incredibly attractive woman was standing in front of him asking him to sleep with her. Satisfied with the quick decision he had made, he wrapped his arms around her and picked up her lightly intending to move her over to sit down on the table that was up against the wall.
She had other ideas, though. Just like Sark had decided, she wasn't about to let him take the advantage away from her. In her mind, the only way this was going to properly work was if she called all the shots. Sydney bit his ear teasingly and snaked her legs around him while whispering a rather surprise command into his ear.
"Sydney," he tisk tisked. "You don't really want me to do that."
"You bet I do," she said as she ground her body into him.
Sark was thrown off a little and loosened his hold on her. Seizing the moment, she extracted herself from his arms and walked over to the bed. She pulled the hair tie out of her hair and felt it fall down to cover her shoulders.
Sark's eyes narrowed in desire as he took in the sight of her. "Did you know my weakness is garters?" he asked matter-of-factly.
"Every man's is." She held her finger up and motioned for him to come over. When he got close to her, she leaned in and whispered, "I want you to prove to me that the real thing is better than my fantasies."
He smiled wickedly and pushed her down on the bed. "She has no idea what she's getting herself into," he thought.
"He has no idea what he's getting into," she thought from her position on the bed.
After unbuttoning his shirt slowly, Sark lay down on top of her and began to trail kisses all over her body. It was a little technique he had picked up on a mission in Singapore. He hoped she appreciated it and was delighted to hear her moans become a little more jagged as he worked his way down her stomach.
As he felt her get more winded up, he stopped in the direction he was heading and returned to kiss her lips lightly. His hands never stopped searching her body, and she jumped involuntarily when they started to tease her thighs lightly. Sark let out a small laugh at her surprise.
Realizing that she had, in her momentary lapse of thought, let him get the upper hand, Sydney quickly schemed a way to put the attention back onto him. She grabbed his hands from their current position and put it on her back near the clasp of her bra. As he unhooked it, she kept her eyes locked with his eyes. She didn't want him backing out of this.
The bra fell to the ground, and Sark let out an appreciative noise. "I was right. You are perfect."
She smiled and pulled him back towards her in another crushing kiss that beat out all the previous ones in intensity. Losing herself to the moment, she bit his lip hard enough to cause it to bleed.
"I told you I didn't want you to be gentle," she said as she licked where the blood was pooling on his lips. "I didn't lie."
Sark suddenly got a strange look on his face and hurriedly got off the bed. He shrugged off his unbuttoned shirt and threw it over to her.
"Cover up, Sydney. I'm not going to sleep with you." She stared at him in hurt as she put the shirt on and buttoned it up. "Please don't cry. I don't think I'm strong enough to resist you if you did."
"Why are you resisting me?" she asked. "I thought you said that you were attracted to me. I thought you wanted me."
"Oh god, do I. I've always wanted to know what this would be like," he added with a smirk. He quickly sobered as he realized he was getting off track. "But I don't like what this has turned you into."
"What do you mean?"
Sark put his hand up to feel his cut lip. "You bit my lip and then licked the blood. That is not something I would have thought you would do."
"Maybe you don't know me as well as you thought you did."
"I do know you, Sydney. You're trying to be the kind of woman you think I could fall in love with. That tells me that you don't really know me. I'm not going to sleep with you and give you the false hopes that it's going to make me magically ask you not to return to the CIA and stay here with me. It wouldn't. So I'm going to save you the pain."
Sark made a move to leave the room but he felt Sydney softly touch his arm. Turning, he saw that she did look like she was about to cry. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"It's okay," she said, smiling through the tears. "I'm used to the men in my life causing me pain. It's almost a requirement for them. I'm just shocked that you actually showed some emotion towards me."
"I did, didn't I?" he said, amazed that he really had shown consideration towards her. "Maybe we've been sucked into the Twilight Zone."
"That's something you and I have in common."
"What would that be?"
"We're both hard in the inside. You and I, we've dealt with too much pain through the years. We're both young and cynical and sarcastic."
"You're right," he said with a smile, sitting down next to her on the bed.
"Stay with me," she demanded simply.
"I told you that I wasn't going to have sex with you," he answered. Since the situation had once again turned to a serious, uncomfortable place, he made another move to get to the door. Her words made him stop.
"And I'm not asking you to. Not anymore. I just don't want to be without you. This is my last night with you, and I still haven't figured out what the hell is going on in my head and in my heart. So just stay with me. It will help." Without looking to see his reaction, she laid down on the bed facing the wall.
He stared at her resting body for at least five minutes and then swore softly to himself that she was going to be the end of him. Sighing, he stripped down to his boxers and lay down next to her. He could feel her jump slightly as he slide his arms around her.
"Did I scare you?"
"I thought you had left," she whispered without turning over to look at him.
"I didn't."
"Good," she whispered.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
In the morning, Sydney awoke to find herself in an empty bed. She would have thought the previous night was a dream if she weren't still wearing Sark's shirt. His desertion wasn't a surprise to her. It was typical. Last night had caused him to show too much emotion and now he would logically want to distance himself from her.
She stood up off the bed and felt the familiar throbbing in her leg. It may be mostly healed, but she knew everything wasn't right with it quite yet. But everyone else was right. She was ready to go home, physically and emotionally. No matter how much she denied it, she missed her life in L.A. quite a lot.
There was a note tapped to the mirror in her room. She walked over and detached it.
"I'm sorry to have left you," the note from Sark began. "But it makes for a less messy detachment if I'm not there. Call me a coward next time we meet. I'm looking forward to your harsh, unforgiving words. See you in the field, Agent Bristow."
"Yeah, back to the same old cold self," she mumbled to herself as she began to pack her bags.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Life in Los Angeles hadn't changed at all in the two months she had been missing. It was the same roads, the same horrible traffic, the same drivers full of road rage.
"It's good to be home," she mumbled as she used her access key to open the gate in front of the CIA's parking garage.
She hadn't expected it to be this easy to gain entrance onto the premises. Especially since the official CIA verdict was that she had been killed in Nice. Sighing, she slipped her car keys into her pocket and began to walk into the building.
A new face was at the security check-in. There must have been a few new hires while she was gone. Because the new security check-in man was currently checking a woman she had never set eyes on before. It was odd to see two faces at once. The Agency really tried to keep the new hires completely integrated with those they deemed veterans of the job.
When the security man saw Sydney standing there, he swiftly asked, "Can I help you?"
"I need to speak with Director Dixon as soon as possible. Thank you."
"Who the hell are you to demand something like that?" the woman next to her practically yelled.
"Excuse me. I don't think that's any of your business." Sydney turned her attention back to the security man. "Please just call Dixon and tell him that there's a walk-in he really needs to see. Immediately," she added for emphasis. She would just tell them her name but she was really afraid of the consequences that may cause. For all she knew, the current CIA theory might be that she wasn't really dead, but her body had been doubled. And then they would think she was the evil double.
She sighed to herself wondering when her life had become so strange and addressed the security man again. "He's probably in his daily meeting with Jack Bristow. You can interrupt them. They'll both want to see me."
Before she could realize what had happened, she found herself face down on the cement floor with her arms pinned behind her back. The woman was slapping a pair of handcuffs onto her wrists.
"What are you doing?" she screamed as her face was smashed harder into the floor.
"I'm taking you into U.S. custody. You obviously are trying to infiltrate this organization. It may have been smarter if you had chose to start at the bottom and work your way to the top instead of just jumping right up to the top. Stupid rookie agent."
Sydney was yanked to her feet. The security man was buzzing the door open for her.
"You are making a huge mistake..."
"Agent Conway."
"Agent Conway. You're new, aren't you?"
"I've been undercover in Guatemala for a few years now. So, I guess you could say I'm new to this branch. But other than that, no I am not new to this job at all. But I don't know why I'm sharing this information with an enemy agent."
"I'm not a fucking enemy agent," Sydney hissed.
"I've never seen you around her. Never. And you seemed pretty knowledgeable about the Director and his schedule. Sounds pretty suspicious."
Sydney laughed. "Just take me to see Dixon. But I warn you, if you don't get these handcuffs off of me, you might lose your job."
"That's a load of crap. Don't they teach you to lie better in evil spy school?" Agent Conway ushered her through the rows of desks towards the main office. "And I have you know it would take a lot for me to lose my job. I'm the best agent they have in this office right now. The best."
"Well, you just became runner-up in that category." Sydney smiled at Dixon's secretary.
Agent Conway asked, "Marlene, could you please buzz the door open? We need to talk with Director Dixon."
Marlene just stared back and forth at Agent Conway, then Sydney, and back, in shock for a few seconds and then pressed the buzz door opener.
"Director Dixon, I apprehended this woman trying to work her way into the building to talk with you. I think she may be working for The Covenant."
Dixon smiled at Sydney. "She did work for them for about two years. But we forgave her for that. Sydney. I had a feeling you weren't dead."
"So I heard. Anyway, you know how hard it is to kill me. People try. No one ever succeeds." Sydney held her handcuffed wrists up. "Do you think you could get your Agent Conway to take off the handcuffs?"
Dixon nodded at Conway. "Stephanie, I'd like you to meet the best agent this office has ever seen."
"I told you that you weren't the best agent anymore," Sydney whispered as the handcuffs clicked open. She rubbed her wrists where the handcuffs had scrapped them.
"Sydney Bristow, your replacement, Agent Stephanie Conway."
"Pleased to meet you," Sydney said. She turned her attention to the other man in the room. "Dad. Glad to see that you didn't land yourself in prison looking for me again."
"Sydney," Jack whispered as he pulled his daughter into a hug. "Where were you?"
Sydney looked hesitantly at Stephanie Conway.
"You can talk in front of her," Dixon said. "She took the place you vacated in the Agency. She's up to speed on the whole Covenant/Hand situation."
Sydney nodded. "I was with Sark. But before I get to the specifics of how that happened, I have to explain something to you. I came across some information in the time I was missing. The CIA has a mole like we all suspected. But it wasn't anyone we had put under investigation. Eric Weiss has betrayed his country."
"Impossible," Stephanie yelled. She grabbed Sydney's shoulder sharply and began to shake her hard. "Take it back now."
"Agent Conway, step away from my daughter," Jack said menacingly. When Stephanie had let go, he continued, "If Sydney says Weiss may have betrayed, we need to take that into consideration. Don't let your personal ties interfere with your judgment."
"Personal ties?" Sydney asked.
"She is currently dating the man in question," Jack said.
"I should get you in touch with my friend, Will," Sydney said, addressing Stephanie. "He had to cope with his girlfriend being evil, too. You guys could form a support group."
"Sydney!" Jack exclaimed. He was startled at her harshness.
"Sorry," she apologized. "I may have spent a little too much time around Sark. I can't seem to hold my anger or sarcasm in check anymore. I apologize, Miss Conway."
"I have to say that I find it as hard to believe as Stephanie," Dixon stated, trying to move the subject back on course. "Eric Weiss has always put forth twice as much effort in his work than most agents. It doesn't seem likely that he's working for an enemy organization."
"But he is." Sydney pulled out the folder that Sark had left with her the day before. "This had enough hard evidence inside to support my claim a million times over. But I'd also like to point out that there's proof of his disloyalty in this room." Sydney pointed to where Stephanie was now sitting on a chair softly crying. "Weiss is dating my replacement. It makes sense. Without me around, he would be slowly sucked out of the information loop. I kept him in it because he's been my rock since I returned from my mission two years. But with me gone, there was no reason for him to be kept informed of one hundred percent of the going on's. So he attached himself to my replacement."
"Eric loves me," Stephanie hissed.
"That may be true. But he didn't start out your relationship loving you." Sydney placed her hand on Stephanie's shoulder in support. "I'm sorry. I know how much this hurts."
"You have no idea," Stephanie said glaring at the woman next to her.
"Oh, don't I? I was told my mother died in a car accident when I was six. The truth was she was an agent for the KGB who staged her own death when my father began to catch on to her agenda. She was ordered to come to the United States and seduce my father. When the situation got too complicated, she extracted herself. I didn't know any of this until a few years ago. Since then, my mother has betrayed this government and my trust on numerous occasions. Then, because of my job, I lost two years of my life. I came back to a world I didn't recognize. The man I loved was happily married. My father was in jail. My two best friends were either dead or in Witness Protection. Don't lecture me about suffering. Because I'm the queen of suffering."
Stephanie just stared at Sydney with wide eyes.
"Sorry. I tend to rant when I'm fired up. And there's that whole living with a bad influence for the past few months thing," she apologized. "Dixon, maybe you should give Agent Conway the day off."
"Yes, I think that's a good idea. Stephanie, you may leave, but don't tell anyone of the conversation we just had. And try to avoid contact with Eric."
Once the door had shut behind Stephanie, Jack began firing questions at her. "How did you come across this information? Why weren't you in the castle when it exploded in Nice? Why were you with Sark for all this time?"
"Sark gave it to me willingly. I was outside saving Sark's life. Because he offered me help." She sighed. "Stop asking questions, Dad. It's only going to confuse you more."
"Tell us the whole story," Dixon said as he sat down at his desk.
"The day I was supposed to carry out my mission in Nice, I found out that Taylor Cummings planned to kill Sark if he refused his offer. I told Vaughn and Weiss and they both agreed that the US government wouldn't mind if Sark were killed."
"They shouldn't have made that decision without authorization," Dixon said.
"Don't fault them. Vaughn never liked Sark. We all know that. And Weiss was seizing the moment to save the Covenant. You see, it turns out that Sark is working towards the same goal as us. He wants to take down the Covenant."
Sydney took a deep breath. "But I'm getting ahead of myself. I agreed with Vaughn and Weiss until the moment actually occurred. I couldn't let Sark just die so I chose to go in and save him. I helped him get out of the castle, but when we were on the beach, I got shot in the leg. Sark picked me up and carried me to safety."
"Why would he do that?" Jack asked.
"I still don't know the answer to that question. But I'm glad he did. He took me to his home and offered a deal. He would help me rehabilitate my broken leg as quickly as possible if I did some analysis work for him. Which is what I've been doing and where I've been for the past few months."
"How is your leg now, Sydney? I assume it was well enough for you to make your way home."
Sydney realized that Dixon was trying to sound like he was only trying to be practical. But the answer to this question was a lot more important than Dixon would let on. "My leg is fine. It still hurts me in the morning. But I've learned to work through the pain. It can take the pressure of my whole body weight, but I'm still not up to one hundred percent. Sorry."
"Good enough. How did you get away from Sark, anyway?" Dixon asked.
Sydney laughed. "It wasn't like I was in prison. We had an agreement. When my leg was fully healed, I was free to go. And here I am."
Dixon turned to Jack. "Will you excuse us for a moment, Jack?"
Jack nodded, hugged his daughter one last time, and left the room.
"Sydney, I didn't want your father to hear this because I know he would argue. But I wanted to let you know that now is the perfect time for you to do what you always wanted."
"Run the New York marathon?" she asked.
He laughed. "No. Quit the CIA. Agent Conway is almost of the same caliber that you are. No one will ever be as good as you, Syd, but she's damn close. If you don't want to be with the CIA, you don't have to."
"Dixon, I came back here for my job. It wasn't just out of obligation to tell you about Weiss. I want to start working again as soon as possible." Dixon looked down at his desk in avoidance. "What aren't you telling me, Dixon?"
"I saw you walking in here, Sydney. You may have said your leg was almost completely better, but you were limping. Your leg isn't as healed as you think it is."
"I know that I'm not at one hundred percent quite yet, but I'll be there within the week."
Dixon sighed. "I'm trying to tell you gently, Your leg isn't well enough for me to willingly send you into the field. Syd, that if you return to work here, you'll have a desk job. Agent Conway has dived in pretty deep with our current operation. I can't pull her out. Which means I can't put you back in."
"I am not sitting at a desk. I won't do it," Sydney said vehemently.
"I know. Which is why I think it is a good idea for you to seize the opportunity to leave the agency for a while. Follow your dream of becoming an English professor."
"Dreams change, Dixon. I don't want that anymore."
"Then you'll have to be content with a desk job. As much as it pains me to tell you, the Agency doesn't have room for you on the agent roster." Dixon hated having to act like this, but he really wanted to get her out of the Agency. It seemed like the only thing it caused her was pain, and as her friend, he couldn't tolerate that much longer.
"You're firing me?" Sydney asked. She was shocked that she was actually having this conversation with one of the few men she thought she could always trust and count on.
"If that's what it is going to come down to. If you won't quit? Yes, I'm firing you, Sydney."
