January 23, 2004

Alex,

As I write this letter, I am so happy; I never expected to hear from you again. I was in tears after reading your letter. I was so overwhelmed that I didn't know whether to reply or not. So, I decided to sleep on it and make a decision the next day.

By then, there was no doubt in my mind that I would write back to you. We had our differences at times, but we ultimately became friends, practically sisters outside our jobs. If there's anyone else besides Elliot that I would trust with my life, it's you. I showed him the letter by the way, and he was very happy to know that you were ok. For now, you'll only be getting letters from me. We're not sure on who else to let in on this yet, but we'll be careful on who to approach. I'm sure Munch would get a kick out of this if he knew.

We all miss you terribly. Up until Elliot and I found out that you were still alive, we were just miserable. Munch even quipped about how CIA used to send down assassins to take care of people like the Cartel. It was difficult attending your own funeral, hearing your eulogy, and wanting to say "she's not dead." But we got through it.

We have a new ADA, named Casey Novak. She came in on a case Elliot and I were working. Obviously, she's not you, but I'm not entirely comfortable working with her. She's certainly different; she plays softball, rides a bike to work--more of a Tom-boy. But, she's a good ADA, and I think she'll do ok.

My social life hasn't changed much. I'm still single-in fact I've been so busy these past few months that I haven't had much time to *have* a social life. The few dates I've had are the same; you know the story, the talk turns to what I do for a living and either they're repulsed or want to learn all the sick details.

Speaking of which, an old flame of mine showed up not too long ago. God, I don't know how I fell for him before--he's very trigger happy. I was being held hostage by a fugitive in a hotel and while I worked to talk him down, he wanted to shoot him. My gut told me this guy was innocent, while my old boyfriend just wanted to shoot first and ask questions later. He ended up in the hospital, nearly shot to death by a sniper just as I was about to get him to surrender. It turned out I was right all along, but then he almost wrecked our case by roughing up the real perp. Afterward, when he offered to buy me a drink, I said no. I told him I had enough insanity in my life--I need stability.

I think of our letter writing as exactly that: stability. This is probably one of the few moments in my life where there's no insanity. I can't even imagine what you've been through since you left, but I know it's not pretty. But I'm very glad you still have the strength to keep living. I'd like to know more about what you do, if you feel safe telling me. You be safe.

Your friend,

Olivia.