February 7, 2004
Olivia,
I am so glad to hear from you again. I was so excited that I gave myself a papercut when I ripped open the envelope. Thank you so much for writing back to me, and for agreeing to do this.
I agree with you that for now you should be the only one writing the letters. The more people who write letters, the greater the chance of someone like Sgt. Tucker blowing my cover while trying to dig up dirt on the squad. As for who to approach, I'm sure it would be a good idea to let Don know. He'll definitely back you on this.
While I was laid up in the hospital, recouping enough so I could safely be moved, I thought about all of you a lot. Let me tell you, it was hell not being able to get a message out to you sooner. If I hadn't put my foot down, they never would've arranged our meeting. In fact, they're still against me making any contact, but there's no way I'm going to just leave everything I knew and loved behind. I'd rather die than just live a new life and forget about my old one. I will always be Alexandra Cabot, no matter who I am now.
So, Casey has taken my place? I've heard of her of course; I've seen her in action, and she is definitely a Tom-Boy. She likes to be more "hands-on" in her cases and "by the book" than I was. From the way you describe her, she reminds me of myself when I started out. Granted, I didn't play softball or ride a bike to work, but prosecuting rapists and pedophiles wasn't easy for me to digest--never was. You remember that mess with the Morris Commission and how I wasn't well received or trusted. Give her the same chance you gave me. She is a good Prosecutor; she just needs time to settle in.
My social life is on hold for now. It's pretty tough getting settled into a new identity. There are a lot of details that I had to study and practice on before I could reenter society. Plus, I haven't really been where I am long enough to make many friends, but I have met a few nice guys. Ok, I've been busy too! I've had to hit the ground running with my new job.
I did mention I was teaching, didn't I? I couldn't just go back to work as an ADA or a lawyer. Instead, I'm a Professor at a Community College. I teach Litigation, Family Law, and Legal Research and Writing. Of them all, I enjoy Litigation the most. Every week, I have my students do a mock trial. My role differs from Judge to Prosecutor to Defense to a Jurist. It's resulted in more than a few funny moments.
Despite the things that I miss, at least one good thing that came from this sorry situation was that I learned how to have fun again. I couldn't remember the last time that I really enjoyed myself. My advice: have some fun in your life. Have a good laugh once in a while. Life isn't easy, but it's not so bad as long as you keep your bearings. I know who I am, I know that I'm still alive, and I know that this isn't going to last. One day we'll see each other again. But not too soon.
Be safe.
Your friend,
Alex
P.S.
I am so glad that our letter writing gives you some measure of stability. Believe me, I've been through enough insanity in the past four years to last me a lifetime.
