Part Eight
by: Shell Presto
Disclaimer: I don't own the Slayers, Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi, and various companies do. However, this story is my own, and I'd like to keep it that way. Have honour, okay? Enjoy.
Email me at mangetsu@email.com
with any commentary. Even the smallest suggestion is appreciated, and the
more critical comments are indispensable. Please drop me a line even to
tell me if you are reading this. I always try to write back. It helps.
Also, be sure to check out my webpage Inspiration
Stemming from Sleep Deprivation for the fanart that goes with this
story.
Doujinshi Alert! The first installment of the One Third Human doujinshi
is now up. To check it out, visit my website, Inspiration Stemming From
Sleep Deprivation.
"We've found a cure!"
The words reverberated in his mind. An immediate lightheadedness
followed, and his body stiffened all over. He wanted to ask a million questions,
but nearly every word died on the way to his throat. "wha......"
Lina grinned. "You're gonna be cured! The Claire Bible said there's
a sure fix in this town, Privius. You're going to be human again, Zel!"
The chimera did not respond. At all.
"Eh, Zel?" Lina sweatdropped.
He was not blinking, nor breathing.
Lina poked him as the others just stared.
Zelgadis fell over, yet still did not move one muscle.
Gourry leaned over him for a closer look, and poked him again.
"You don't think he's dead, do you? Hey. Zel," he called nonchalantly.
"Mister Zelgadis!"
Lina sighed. "I guess he went into shock." She shrugged her shoulders,
then kneeled down next to him. "Well," she mused, raising her hand, "you
do what you have to. Sorry, Zel. MONO VO.."
Zelgadis eyed the redhead skeptically. The look was enough to
stop her from electrocuting him. He sat up pensively, as if he had been
coherent and simply thinking the whole time. "Please don't get my hopes
up," he somberly requested.
"Zel..." Her voice was empty, and sad.
The journey to Privius took two weeks, and he spent most of the
time thinking and avoiding everyone. He was always ten steps ahead of the
rest of them, more than that if he could manage without them getting worried
that he might take off. He scarcely ate the entire time; anticipation was
clouding his every thought, dulling his every move. Hope could kill him
at this point. The greater the anticipation, the greater the disappointment,
he told himself.
It was the last night of their journey, and they made camp when
night fell. Zelgadis desperately wanted to leave them and go on ahead,
but he reigned himself in. He knew he was allowing himself too much enthusiasm.
He sat down by himself against a tree in the dark, and, of course, with
this being their last night out, Amelia finally joined him after having
kept distant for so long.
She caught him with his hand on her wristlet when she approached.
He immediately let go of it when she sat down next to him, placing a firm
hand on his firmer arm. "Are you alright?" she asked with warm concern.
Even the gaze from the corner of his eye seemed flustered. He
was falling apart with the thought of his cure. "I... Uhm... Yes." He almost
smiled nervously, but stopped himself.
"What are you going to do when you're human?"
He made eye contact without thinking, and she saw the stunned
look on his face as he looked straight into her eyes. "I don't kn..." Suddenly
he turned away from her and shook his head vigourously. "No! ...I mean...
it's not. There's no guarantee that there's really a cure! I mean..." He
shivered, and his face fell into his hands. "i mean...."
Amelia grabbed his wrist, and he separated his fingers a bit
so he could look at her. She smiled, subtly this time. "Doesn't the fact
that we learned about this directly from the Claire Bible give it a little
more credibility?"
"No," he answered quietly, but he agreed with her while telling
himself he should believe otherwise.
"Why don't you just admit that you think so as well?" Her questions
were invading all the right places, and they pierced him with a warmth
that he had never felt before. They scared him, but those innocent eyes
drew him closer as she pulled his hands away from his face.
"Please don't," he softly demanded, but there was no force to
his words. "I can't think about that, Amelia, I'll.... I'll fall apart
if I do... I'll..."
"I don't dream often, Zelgadis, but I had a very good one of
you. You were human in it, though it was very dark and I couldn't see you
clearly. I think it's an omen. I've gotten much better at predictions since
we've parted. I've been training hard to be a priestess." She was kneeling
in front of him while holding his wrists.
"Really?" he wondered, ultra skeptically. She seemed so adult
to him when she said it, the words were almost intoxicating, but the air
changed as the tension on his wrists grew weak.
Her hand fell away from his wrist, then wandered through air,
finally finding the grainy surface of his face. Unconsciously, he grasped
around her waist. Softly, she asked, "Are you afraid to smile, Mister Zelgadis?"
He opened his mouth to respond, but no words were present. As
he did so, she leaned in towards him, and he found that his hand was helping
her, supporting her as she came ever closer. Her hand on his face, the
soft movement of her body towards his, their lips.. He realized what was
happening, welcomed it. He placed his other hand on her upper arm.
Zelgadis inhaled sharply and drew his head back until it slammed
against the tree just before their lips met. It frightened Amelia, who
backed off as well. Then they were not touching at all, although her face
was only twelve inches from his.
"I'm sorry!" she gulped, finally getting her weight off her hands
and springing back to a sitting position. "I didn't mean..!"
"It's all right this time," he whispered with such a gentle tone
that it shocked her silent. "It was my fault, too. I helped." One side
of his lips tilted upward in the smallest remnant of a smile. "I... wanted
to as well, but..."
They were both as scared as children of the truth and the present.
They needed a fantasy world to live in where there were no concerns, for
at the moment they were both very alone. Amelia's eyes leaked isolation
in the beginning of curious tears. He leaned forward, helping her to her
feet as he stood up. She never took her eyes off him, and his thin slits
for eyes seemed more gentle than the softest eyes she'd ever seen.
"I have to wait until I'm human."
She mumbled something incoherent in agreement as she clutched
his cloak for dear life. He drew her closer for the same reason, his hands
gripping her tightly and his mind focusing on controlling them. If he let
himself go he would have crushed her arms due to affection. "it's alright,
amelia," he comforted her softly as he took comfort in her.
"when it's over..." she sobbed.
"i might hang around saillune for a bit."
Xellos sighed. "Well now, what am I going to do?" he asked himself.
"Privius, huh?" He leaned back against the tree, the campfire that kept
the small party warm was a dull speck in the forest from where he contemplated
his moves. "Too bad we didn't know about that. I certainly wasn't expecting
another location to come up." He stood up on the tree branch, gazing at
the vermilion light as he considered his two choices.
"Now, I could go over there and persuade Lina into telling Zelgadis
that this opportunity is a fake..." He paused a minute, a wicked smirk
growing on his lips. "...but that would be lying, and I would never want
to soil my good reputation. No, no. I have to sacrifice and do it the hard
way." He laughed to himself, "At least it won't be boring, now will it,
Zelgadis?"
The trickster priest disappeared into the darkness, intent on
bringing a plan to its fruition.
Privius was a shell of a town, closer to a hovel. It was located
in the middle of a dead forest, next to a huge mountain. The town was grey;
the trees died from suffocation. There was good reason why Zelgadis had
never visited before, the town was never on a map. A small colony of the
exiled moved there in attempts to find peace, but instead their homes were
invaded by goblins. A war broke out, one that the townspeople barely won,
but they remained at the site after the battle, as there was nowhere else
to go. Most of the younger members of the community left as soon as they
had grown up, and never spoke of where they came from. Now, only those
too attached to their homes remained.
At least, that was the story that the group heard as they sat
at the inn, awaiting their meals. There was no great feast that usually
started off the group's entrance to a town, the crops had suffered due
to the soil. The dirt was more like pebbles, all eroded off the mountain
over hundreds of years. Great fires during the sham of a war purged the
rest of the nutrients from the soil. The group shared a meager meal of
some sort of potato soup. Zelgadis gave his to Lina.
He approached the owner of the place, an older man, obviously
used to the poor ways of the town. The owner eyed the man before him suspiciously,
as he was covered up from head to foot, but opted not to ask questions,
since these were his only customers to pay in actual money in ages. Zelgadis
leaned on a table, careful to tuck his fingers into his hand. "Could you
tell me if there are any well known healers in this area?" he asked in
muffled, yet polite, tones. "Particularly of the name Daubrik?"
The old man snorted a laugh, then sat down at the table. "Daubrik
is no healer. He's a religious fanatic, an outsider among outsiders," the
man explained solemnly. "Years ago his father and a group of monks went
up into the mountains to start a cult, something worshipping the sun. The
religion never caught on, it seemed, so his father gave up, came back to
the town, married, and had a son, Daubrik. The kid got nearly eaten alive
by wolves, recovered, but was ugly as sin. As soon as he was old enough
to strike out on his own, he went up to the mountain. We never see him;
he's been up there ever since." The man shrugged, checked that his customer,
who was now sitting down, was still interested, then continued nonchalantly,
"Since the monks never came down, I suppose they're all either ancient
or dead, which means Daubrik is alone. No one knows what he's up to, but
we assume he still believes in that crazy religion of his."
Zelgadis rested his chin on his hand, taking in the story. "Why
did he go up there?"
The man leaned forward and spoke softly, "I heard it was to heal
his scars, somehow. I don't really know. By the look of you, how you're
all covered up, I'd say you're thinking the same reason, and the fact that
you even know of this place proves your desperate." The man slid his chair
back and stood. "Now, it's none of my business, but I wouldn't recommend
going up there. Most people who have gone up there either came down disappointed
or never came down at all."
Zelgadis stood as well, and laid a few silver pieces on the table.
"I appreciate the warning, but you are right; I am desperate. Thank you."
He walked back over to his friends. "Get ready for another trip.
We're headed into the mountains now," he announced. The journey would not
be completed alone.
"It's a day trip!" Lina screamed as she saw the height of the
mountain. "I'd rather climb the Katahto Mountains all over again!"
Zelgadis smiled, placing one hand on his hip and the other on
Lina's shoulder. "You don't have to come if you don't want to, Lina. After
all, coming with me was your idea, not mine."
"Fat chance!" Lina threatened, smacking his arm away. "I didn't
come to the middle of nowhere to have you botch this one. We are going
up there, getting your cure, and getting out of this town!"
Amelia craned her neck to scope out the formidable climb. "We
really don't have to do this one low key, do we, Zelgadis?"
He looked back at her a little curiously. He had almost been
looking forward to the work associated with the hike. Quite simply, he
had too much anxious energy. "Uhm... well, we could ray wing it. I'm not
opposed." He walked between them all, then he closed his eyes and outstretched
his arms. "Ray..."
"I don't think so, Zel," Lina interrupted the dumbfounded chimera.
The sorceress, part cranky from lack of food and part sympathetic, continued,
"You've been in a funk ever since we got this lead, I can't trust you to
keep your concentration."
He laughed almost silently. "You're right.... levitation."
"Wait up, Mister Zelgadis!" Amelia called as he passed by her
head. "Levitation!"
Gourry wrapped his arms around Lina's waist.
"Ready, Gourry?" When he nodded, she took off in pursuit.
They were a bit shocked when they landed. The top of the mountain,
unlike the town, was quite green. There was a lush garden, and lots of
trees surrounding the area. On a slight hill, there was a large temple,
and steps were carved into the incline leading up to it. "Guess that's
where were headed," Gourry half stated, half asked. Lina led the way.
As they walked up the staircase, a young man wearing a gold robe
rushed down towards them. "Halt! Who dares approach this temple."
Lina stopped walking, drew up a deep breath, and was about to
start on one of her impressive introductory speeches, when the man became
hysterical.
"Women! You brought women here!?" he creeched. His words were
aimed at Gourry, who he took to be the leader of the party.
Gourry was dumbfounded, as usual. Then, in a flash, he smiled.
"Hey, don't worry! If you can't tell from the look of her, Lina's really
still a girl!" He patted her chest to prove a point, and a vein in her
head throbbed. "Besides that," he continued on, "Amelia's even younger
than she is!"
"Gourry?" Lina growled, her clenched fist trembling.
"Yeah, Lina?"
The tension from the impact with her fist made her feel better
as he went flying through the air. They heard branches breaking in the
distance somewhere. The robed man was speechless.
"Now," Lina began, swiping her hands together as she got off
on a new foot, "what is wrong with women being up here?"
The man, more careful this time, answered congenially, "They...
They're forbidden, actually."
"Says who?" Amelia wondered.
The man opened his mouth to answer, but then stopped. It was
a long time before he spoke. He scratched his head and smiled nervously.
"Actually, I don't know if anyone did, but there has never been a woman
on this mountain!"
Lina sweatdropped. "So.. ah.. technically speaking, we're not
forbidden, are we?"
"Uhm, ah... no, I guess not!" the man laughed.
Zelgadis was sick of the playing. "Are you Daubrik?"
The man eyed Zelgadis, scrutinizing this cloaked, unknown figure.
Finally, he nodded.
Zelgadis caught a sharp glance from Amelia, warning him to be
polite. He sighed, "I need your help."
There was a large dining hall in the temple, in which they all
resided to partake of a decent meal, mainly salad. There the Rezo story
was told once more, ending with a petition for assistance.
Daubrik frowned. "I don't really know if I can help..."
"You're quite handsome," Zelgadis interrupted.
Amelia sweatdropped, "M.. Mister Zelgadis?"
"Flattery will get you nowhere," Daubrik chided with a smile.
Zelgadis leaned forward on the table. "Really nice face for someone
nearly eaten alive."
Daubrik slid his chair out and crossed his arms. "We're only
supposed to heal our own. You would have to join the religion to be healed."
The chimera stood up. "I'll do anything to be human again!"
Shrugging, Daubrik went on, "It's not easy! It's a hard life
full of prayer, worship, and celibacy."
"If you're sure you can heal me, I'll.."
"Wait!" Amelia screeched, a little more forcefully than she wanted
to. Everyone stared at her as she blushed.
Zelgadis felt a slight pang of guilt when their eyes met, but
he shrugged it off. It's not like I could be with her now. What's the
difference?
The frazzled princess picked herself back up. "There has to be
some other way! Is there someone else we can talk to?"
"Actually, I'm the only one here. The final founding member died
three years ago."
The princess faltered a moment, but it was not long before her
resolve ignited. "What kind of religion do you have!? It's only natural
that one should do whatever possible to help another! Surely your god dictates
that you work to right injustices! Mister Zelgadis has had a horrible injustice
done to him by an evil man, and you have it in your power to help him!
How can you, as a human being, ignore a cry for help?! Justice demands
recognition!"
More than a bit stunned, Daubrik pried his eyes away from the
girl standing on the table and turned to Zelgadis. "She's kind of scary,
isn't she?"
Zelgadis nearly grinned as sweat ran down the side of his forehead.
"Yeah, a little."
"She your girlfriend?"
"Not quite..."
A blush crept over her face again when she realized she had gone
overboard again. "I just think there has to be a way to help Mister Zelgadis
without him joining your religion."
"Can you think of one?" Daubrik wondered.
"Uhm..." she sat back down, considering it for a moment. "You're
the last member of your religion, right?"
He nodded.
"And no one's even heard of this religion, right?"
"Correct again."
Amelia jumped up, flashing her royal crest. "Well, I'm the Princess
of Saillune, and if I say so, I can have your religion registered in the
libraries as being official!"
"Amelia!" Lina objected.
The princess explained away Lina's qualm. "It's alright, Miss
Lina. If Mister Zelgadis will do anything for his cure, then so will I."
As for aforementioned chimera, he was in awe of her.
Daubrik was impressed as well. Besides that, it was a good offer
when he considered that his precious religion would be forever lost when
he died. After a short silence, he agreed enthusiastically, "That sounds
generous. If you make sure our efforts are recorded, I will help your friend.
I can even give you a copy of our records and Holy Book for your library."
"Speaking of a holy book, I'd like to see yours so I know what
you'll be doing," Zelgadis requested.
"Oh, of course," the man said, becoming more amiable by the second.
"It's in the worship hall. Just go back to the main entrance and go through
the door on the left. It's the biggest room, you can't miss it!"
The chimera then dismissed himself.
Eight hours later, Amelia wandered into the great hall. The fading
sun illuminated a large stained glass window depicting a beautiful maiden
above the alter. The night sky could be seen through a stained glass window
that was larger still, and took up half of the ceiling. It was a geometric
design, similar to a magic circle, and the center circle was regular transparent
glass. After taking it all in, the princess turned to look at the lone
figure sitting on the steps of the alter. He was completely oblivious to
her presence and the world around him, completely ensnared by the book
in his hand.
She approached him quietly, her mind swimming in concern. She
kneeled down in front of him and softly called his name.
He jumped two steps, dropping the book as his heart skipped a
beat. "Amelia! What..."
"I didn't mean to scare you!" she apologized with a smile.
He looked down at the book almost desperately. He did not acknowledge
Amelia again until it was safely in his hand. "What are you doing here
at this hour?"
"We were worried about you. It's getting late, and we haven't
seen you all day. Lina decided that one of us should check up on you, so.."
"I'm just reading," he assured her.
"Well, Daubrik said we could stay the night. There're some rooms
that are empty... It'd be easier to show you," she said, thumbing over
her shoulder in the appropriate direction.
Zelgadis shrugged his shoulders. "I'm really not interested."
His fingers flipped through the pages of the book, trying to find where
he left off.
"You look tired, though. You've really been running yourself
ragged lately," Amelia pointed out, as if he did not notice.
He mumbled, "I'm fine," without paying her the least bit of attention.
Her hand held her chin in thought as she stood up. "You really
shouldn't be reading in here. There aren't any lights."
"Chimera. Heightened senses. See in dark," he replied, now reading.
"Not so bright," she grumbled to herself.
He looked up. "You say something?" This time, when he looked
at her he noticed how tense her lips were, and the lack of brightness in
her eyes. "Uhm, Amelia?"
Her eyes met with his, conveying a message of helplessness on
both accounts. He could not read her emotions; she could not get him to
understand what she meant. "Zelgadis..." Using his name was always her
best indicator. He paid more attention to her immediately, sure that it
was important. "Before, you said you'd do anything for your cure... even...
I mean... I know I..." Her words digressed further into choking for a sentence.
"I know... you don't... but I...."
"Hey!" He rose, surprised and confused by the conversation they
were not having. "Amelia, what... I.." He stood before her, book in one
hand, the other trembling only inches from her face. "You're not crying,
are you?"
Their eyes met, and the gloss of tears became a representation
of the rift between them. She sniffled, disheartened by the hand that would
not touch her face, loathing the hand that so tightly clutched the book.
"Mister Zelgadis... what's more important to you?"
The chimera lowered his arm as he eyed her quizzically. "I don't
understand what you're asking."
"Your cure or........... your friends?"
The guilt nudged its way into his mind again. He pushed it away
with the usual mix of emotions. "If this is about what I said today," he
growled, "I'm not interested in it."
Amelia snapped. "Don't I mean anything to you!?"
He still wanted to be angry. "I can't believe how selfish you
are! We're talking about my cure here!"
"Selfish!?" she yelled, her voice cracking. "How dare you accuse
me of being selfish! You, who leaves for two years without even writing
one letter, without even mentioning anything to me about time or intent,
and then comes back expecting me to wait for him!"
He tried to cut in. "I never expected..."
"All you do is take! You visit when you want! You pay attention
when you want! It'd kill you to notice when someone else was feeling down!
We've been trying to help, and trying to cheer you up every day of this
journey, and you couldn't give one damn, could you!?" She stormed off in
the direction of the door, intent on leaving him with something to think
about.
He processed it much faster than she expected. He grabbed her
arm. "Amelia, wait."
She turned, still angry, tears pouring from her eyes.
"I'm sorry. Maybe it is wrong, but if I'm not human, I can't
be with you anyway," he explained. "Even if you weren't here, I'd feel
better about myself if I was human, so my cure is much more important.
Either way, I never want anything bad to happen to you guys, and I'm sorry
if I worry all of you. I guess I do take you all for granted, but... well,
I can't really do anything about that, either." He saw that he calmed her,
and he started to breathe a bit easier. He looked down at the book again,
this time ashamed. He slipped his finger out of it, closing it. "Uhm.."
He motioned to the steps. "You want to talk?"
She sat there wringing her hands, the air about them eerily uncomfortable.
"You could put your arm around me," she suggested.
He stared at his hand, disgusted and disheartened by the stone.
"It's cold at night."
"So?"
"My hands are cold."
She wanted to reassure him, but he refused to look her way. "I
don't mind."
"We almost kissed," he stated solemnly.
"You're right. We did." Amelia would have been happy if not for
the tone in his voice. When he did not respond, she asked hopefully, "Do
you want to now?"
He closed his fist and covered his mouth with it. He wanted to
bite it, or tear it off, or punch something. He could not decide.
"Do you ever cry, Zelgadis?"
"Usually no. I've only ever cried twice since I've been a chimera."
If you count the first initial week as one time... "I... I wasn't
taught to."
Amelia smiled sympathetically. "Most boys aren't."
"No. You don't understand," he corrected. "The older I got..
Rezo taught me... Do you remember when Lina summoned the Lord of Nightmares?"
"How can I forget?"
"She was upset over Gourry, and us. She hated Phibrizzo so much
that she didn't care how she defeated him. You always fight better when
you have a reason. Anger and hate are driving forces. Rezo taught me that;
he banked on my being upset."
"You mean he... he encouraged you to get mad instead of upset?"
Amelia did not know what was more horrifying, what Zelgadis was telling
her or how utterly detached he looked while saying it. He was suddenly
in his own world, and he was starting to look like he would break something
at any moment. His fist shook with the horrific energy the memories pulsed
through him.
She placed her hand on his fist. "It's unnatural to be angry
all the time." Her fingers landed on the rocks at the back of his jaw.
"And I know you don't want to be, either."
His breathing was heavier. So softly he revealed, "You're the
first person to be this nice to me, Amelia." He immediately wished he could
take it back. Every moment they were together, he knew where it could go.
It killed him to stop. He could not feel her fingers where they laid on
the rocks embedded in his skin. It helped to remind him, but he wanted
to be human.
He reached out and drew her into him, burying his head in her
hair, holding her close. He wished he could force himself to cry so that
she knew he had those kind of feelings, but he did not have the urge to.
Moreso, he wished that he could say something meaningful, but no words
came. He was numb, but she was warm, and her hair smelled nice.
Amelia grabbed the material of his shirt for lack of anywhere
better to place her hands. It was not the kiss she wanted, but his cold
skin was apparently warming up from her body heat, and it was good to feel
him breathing on her.
After a long moment of silence, he softly laughed into her hair.
They broke away from each other, and she looked at him quizzically. He
had a half smirk on his face, more amused than happy. "You know, we really
have to stop doing this."
She was sad and scared. "Why?"
"It's all so futile," he professed to the stained glass in the
ceiling. "Nice, but futile." Zelgadis glanced at her out of the corner
of his eye as he rested his chin in his hand. "It can't work out, Amelia,
unless I'm human."
"But.."
"Don't argue. Just the fact that I'm saying so means it won't.
You know that."
Reluctantly she agreed, "I know." The princess looked at the
book in his hand, starting to grasp the hope and skepticism that the man
holding it felt. It hurt to think about a cure. "So, did you learn anything
yet?"
It took him a moment to realize that she was referring to the
book. He was glad he finally got her to give up trying to convince him
of the endurance and power of positive thinking. It also made him lose
faith in their relationship. If we have a relationship. Which we don't.
He stared at the hand holding the book, hell and hope all in one glance.
I just want it to end...
"Mister Zelgadis?"
He jumped a bit, having forgotten his present company. "Right,"
the chimera began. "First off, I don't know who was nuts enough to start
calling this a religious book. There's nothing in it about cults or rules
or morality. It's not a religion, it's a class of ancient magic. All the
spells in this book are related to the position of the sun, like a sort
of shamanism. Since the power relies on an outside force, the caster does
not need great magic ability, although it seems there's a lot of training
involved." He flipped through the pages enthusiastically. "Almost all the
spells have to do with plants, farming and the like. Lots of utilitarian
spells... The only exception is this one." He showed her the page, and
she saw his eyes latch onto the words on the paper as if he was possessed.
"It's an amazing healing spell. It has to take place during a solar eclipse,
within (or under, in the case of this room) a customized magic circle.
This is the spell that can cure me. At least, I'm hoping it can."
It was the first time she heard him verbalize his hope for this
particular cure; he seemed happy when he said it, but scared, too. After
a moment of thoughtlessly obsessing over the cure, he closed the book,
thought about everything Amelia had said to him, and stood up. "I suppose
I should try to get some sleep, huh?"
Amelia smiled as she cast a lighting spell. "It would be a good
idea. It would be awful for you to get sick after all of this." She walked
a few steps ahead of him. "Uhm.. Mister Zelgadis?"
"Hm?"
Not breaking her pace, she asked, "When is the next solar eclipse?"
"It'll take me a few days to figure it out, if it's anytime soon.
It could be years, though there hasn't been one in a long while. At least,
not that I remember..."
"How would you know?"
"I used to read a lot when I was younger. Anything I could get
my hands on, and Rezo had quite an extensive library," he revealed.
Amelia was about to ask him more about his past, but she thought
better of it. If the night had proved anything, it was that Rezo was not
his favourite conversational topic. They walked through long corridors,
their only accompaniment the echoes of breathing and footsteps. Finally,
they reached a hall of doors. They stood outside of her room after Zelgadis
claimed the one across from it.
The chimera knew he had to say something, if only as common courtesy.
He decided it would be a good time to address something that nagged at
the back of his mind. "You've become more open, Amelia, almost shockingly
so."
She smiled lackadaisically. "That's not true. I've always been
open, you used to think I was insane because of it, or at least laughable."
He mulled over her words. "Maybe it just seems more sincere now.
Still, you... I guess I wasn't expecting things to be... the way they are
now."
The princess grew solemn. "Missing someone, thinking about them
and not knowing how they are, if they're still alive, can do that to you.
I have to live with the fact that if you feel like it, you can leave right
now and I might never hear from you again." Their eyes met despite the
sheer darkness engulfing the hall. "I decided that I should let you know
now, because if I don't, I might never get another chance."
The words stabbed him, but the guilt did not change his way of
thinking. He could not think like her, think about living for today. He
could only think about the day he would be human again. Zelgadis liked
to think he could start living like her after that. There were no words
to offer her. He walked to his door, turned the handle. She had already
turned around when he added, "Amelia?"
"Yes, M... er... Ze..."
"Zelgadis," he offered.
"Zelgadis." It made her smile to say it.
"How.... How long would you have waited?"
"I don't know. Five years, maybe. I'd have definitely waited
until Lina told me to give up. If she had said to, I might have."
He paused, they still did not face each other. "How long would
you wait?"
More silence. "I guess.. as long as you tell me to, if you tell
me to."
Charged silence, silence like cold, stinging the skin. "Good
night, Amelia."
"Good night, Zelgadis."
Tsuzuku...
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