Part Nine
by: Shell Presto
Disclaimer: I don't own the Slayers, Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi, and various companies do. However, this story is my own, and I'd like to keep it that way. Have honour, okay? Enjoy. Proofreading/editing/beta-reading for this story was done by Dreamsinger. Thanks DS!
Email me at mangetsu@email.com with any commentary. Even the smallest suggestion is appreciated, and the more critical comments are indispensable. Please drop me a line even to tell me if you are reading this. I always try to write back. It helps. Also, be sure to check out my webpage Inspiration Stemming from Sleep Deprivation for the fanart that goes with this story.
There is now a One Third Human doujinshi in production. To check it
out, visit my website, Inspiration Stemming From Sleep Deprivation.
Everyone mentally thank Dreamsinger for becoming my new (and first)
official beta-reader. She's helping to make sure my story is accurate,
understandable, and grammatically correct.
Note: The flowers in question are turk's-cap lilies and bloodroot.
He heard her come in, vaguely, and chose to ignore her. The sunlight
hurt his narrowly opened eyes as she pulled the curtains back. "Rise and
shine, Zel!" Lina announced the start of a brand new day, or rather the
middle of one. It was nearly noon.
"Please don't wake me," Zelgadis groaned, pulling a blanket over
his head.
The redhead took a seat next to him and smiled sympathetically.
"Not much sleep, huh?"
"None at all."
"Because of your cure or because of Amelia?"
He lowered the blanket to eye her skeptically. Now dazed from
sleep and confusion, he asked, "How do you know about Amelia?"
Lina stared out the window. "She seemed upset today, and I know
you two had to have talked last night."
The chimera simply groaned.
"You're not exactly scoring points in the romance department,
are you Zel?"
"I don't want to be!" he growled, covering his face with a pillow.
"Leave already. And close the curtains."
Lina rested her head on her hand as she frowned at him. "You
can't keep ignoring your problems, Zel."
"I'm fine!"
"You're not getting any sleep."
The chimera let out a long, stressed breath. The lack of sleep
was a problem he could not ignore. He moved the pillow to the side and
propped himself up on his elbows. "I'm nervous about my cure," he admitted
softly.
"Well, you'll have it in a month," she revealed.
Zelgadis sat up completely, his eyes wide. "Really!?" His reaction
suddenly disturbed him, and he calmed himself, at least externally.
Lina gave him one of her rare, gentle but knowing smiles. "There
will be an eclipse in a month. Amelia said you already know all about the
process. Daubrik said he'd be more than happy to help you out."
He smiled weakly as the butterflies flew in his stomach. He stared
at his hands. "I'm going to be..."
Jumping in while he trailed off, the sorceress declared, "Well,
that's one problem down and one problem to go."
Zelgadis sobered up immediately. "And one problem I don't want
to discuss. My.. situation with Amelia is none of your concern."
The statement degraded the bonds between the group, and irritated
the redhead. "You've managed to make one the happiest people I've met depressed.
You've made her cry, and you're miserable. Being as how you're both my
friends, I think that makes it my business."
"That's not very convincing," he commented, somewhat sternly.
"It sounds like you ripped that speech off of Amelia."
"Well you haven't been around, so you wouldn't know," she quipped.
He took it as a low blow. "You all act like I've been off having
fun! I've spent the past two years looking only for my cure and..."
"I know all that, Zel!" Lina interrupted. Her eyes softened,
as if she had had this discussion before a million times. She looked worn
out. "Amelia knew that, too, but she waited for you. Don't you get it?
She loves you, Zel, and you're... you're..." This sort of conversation
was not easy for her, and Zelgadis recognized it enough to give her some
patience. "I don't know if you're intentionally ignoring her or avoiding
it or what, Zel, but... You have to give a little. You're tearing her apart."
Lina debated using a long pause for effect, but in her mind she knew that
Zelgadis was not doing anything to intentionally hurt Amelia. "You've got
to let her know if you... if you're interested."
"I have!" he argued.
"How?"
"I.." He started off vehemently, but gave up when he realized
he had no clear evidence to offer.
"Well?"
He nervously offered, "I carry that bracelet of hers. She knows
I do."
"But that doesn't say anything in terms of affection," Lina shot
down his remark. "Have you ever said anything to her?"
"I..." He looked out the window that he had hated before. His
hand rubbed his leg in a fidgety movement. "She can tell..."
"All of your signals are too ambiguous. No one knows what you're
thinking, Zel. Not even Amelia," Lina scolded.
"Well it's not like it would work!" he yelled.
Lina was in utter disbelief. "You have your cure! How hard is
it to show a little kindness to her?"
"I will when I'm human!"
A short breath escaped her lips. She could not believe his obsession.
Scarier still was that he actually believed... "It's not going to get any
easier, Zel," she quietly informed him.
"You don't know that," he snapped back.
"If you can't tell her now, you probably still won't when you're
human. If you keep putting her off, you'll lose her. Is that what you want?"
His eyes met with Lina's, then he closed them. "I don't know
yet. I'll figure it out when I'm human."
"No one will judge you if you don't like her, Zel, but if you
do, at all, you have to let her know."
Part of him wanted advice. "How?"
"I don't know!" He had flustered the redhead, whose cheeks suddenly
matched her hair. "Why are you asking me? I'm not good at that stuff!"
It made him give up all hope when she said that. He knew he could
not contend with Gourry or Lina in the area of romance, yet they had some
kind of a working relationship. Zelgadis wanted to ask about it, he wanted
to know how they made it work. He wanted to know how to make one for himself.
He also knew there was no way for Lina to answer if he did ask.
She watched him sink into his own thoughts. It worried her. "Zel?"
The chimera looked up, trying to shift gears. "You've been saying
'Zel' a hell of a lot."
Lina grinned when she realized he was right. "In all honesty,
I'm trying to be reassuring."
He gave a sad excuse for a smile. "Thank you."
She stood up and took a step towards the door when she looked
over her shoulder at him. "Hey, Zel?"
"Hm?"
"Anytime you want to sort things out, I'll be more than happy
to help."
"Yeah. Thanks."
Lina tried to give him one of her dashing smiles, but it paled
with the atmosphere that the chimera created. "You could always buy her
something, or give her flowers. I bet she'd like flowers."
Zelgadis did not, or could not, respond.
He stood in the middle of a thick patch of woods about a mile
away from the cliffside temple. Flowers, he thought in sarcastic
incredulity. She'd like flowers. And so he stood, staring at a patch
of reddish orange lilies with some white flowers that looked a lot like
daisies. He sat down with his legs crossed, resting his chin in his palm.
Lina
wants me to pick flowers for her. Great. He was genuinely sulking,
and miffed. Why do I have to do this, anyway? Hell, I could just kiss
her in another month. What's the big deal? He found his free hand hovering
over one of the tall red flowers.
"I may as well pick a few good ones," he conceded. He examined
each one without enthusiasm, limply holding his hand above each one in
case he approved it. After pulling three flowers, he found one that was
actually half dead. Its orange head was wilted, it's green leaves brown.
It fascinated him for a moment, and he picked it. He looked at the flower
more closely as he held it. Why did I pick this one? It's dead! There's
no way she'd want... His thoughts trailed off as he suddenly recognized
how equally unpretty the hand holding it was. "There's no way she'd want
this," he said dejectedly.
"Dammit!" he cried, punching the ground. "What's wrong with me?"
he dropped the flower and began to massage his forehead as he regained
his composure. "I'm going to be human soon," he reassured himself, "and
Amelia already said she likes me." He took a deep breath, haphazardly yanked
a fistful of red and white flowers from their bed, and stode back in the
direction he had come from. When he hit the edge of the forest, he paused.
The uncertainty hit him again, hard, as it always had. He tried to shake
it off. I've got no reason to hold back anymore, he told himself. I'm
going to be human soon, so telling her I care won't make a difference.
It'll be good to let her know. He held the flowers out at the same
level as his chest, a practice gesture. "I'm going to be human soon." It
was becoming his mantra.
Confidence turned to curiousity as blood eerily began to seep
between his blue fingers. He opened his hand to see a mess of red covering
it. He knelt down to wipe his hand in the grass. There wasn't anything
that could cut me... He was slightly relieved to realize that the flowers
had been leaking the crimson liquid, and not his hand. It was still unnerving
to now have what resembled blood smeared across both of his hands. If anything,
it brought back bad memories. After a moment he also became aware of the
fact that he could not give the flowers to Amelia. Instead he sat, rubbing
his hands on the grass, looking at flowers that would slowly die.
That evening the group decided what to do over dinner.
"One thing's for sure," Lina initiated the conversation through
a mouthfull of greens, "if I don't get a decent meal soon, I'm gonna go
nuts." She then grinned awkwardly and gave a sideways glance to their host.
"No offense to your salad-making skill, Daubrik."
He shot her a dark look. "None taken."
Amelia smirked, hoping she wouldn't be killed for her explanation.
"Miss Lina and Mister Gourry are used to eating a LOT more."
"You're one to criticise," Lina verbally jabbed the princess.
"It's not like you've never joined in."
"No fair!" Amelia reprimanded her. "I was starving!"
Daubrik sweatdropped as he turned to Zelgadis. "Is it always
like this?"
Zelgadis nodded, somewhat reminiscent, somewhat annoyed.
Gourry continued to pick solemnly at his salad. "I think I want
to hit a town, too."
Amelia agreed, "I think it would be alright if we just stayed
at an inn for a while. It may be expensive, but it's for a good cause."
She smiled sweetly at Zelgadis, who half smiled and rolled his eyes.
The expression lasted but a moment, and the chimera was back
to his solemn, calculating self. He cleared his throat. "Sorry, but I'm
going to have to decline this time."
Amelia's eyebrows twisted into a knot with her shock and confusion.
"What? You mean you're not coming with us?"
Lina became concerned as well. "Zel?"
"Why's that?" Gourry simply asked.
He closed his eyes in his own calm way and placed his fingertips
on his forehead as he leaned on the table. "Anytime I go with you, I end
up sidetracked. I appreciate everything you've all done for me, but, with
my cure this close, I'm not going to take any chances. I'll be staying
in Privius, just to be safe," he explained.
"That will be quite unnecessary," Daubrik imposed his comment
before anyone else could get a word in edgewise. Everyone turned to him.
He went on, "It wouldn't be very hospitible of me to throw you out now
that I've agreed to help you. You can stay here if you choose, Zelgadis."
The chimera stared blankly at the man; he was not used to having
people be kind to him, nor having things handed to him. "I... wouldn't
want to impose," he finally remarked.
"Actually, I was hoping you'd help me out around the temple.
It's a lot of work for one to attend to alone," Daubrik confessed, raising
a hand to the back of his head.
Zelgadis stared at the table. "Well, in that case..."
"I'll stay, too!" Amelia interjected, standing up. "I'll..."
"Amelia..." Zelgadis said her name in a quiet manner, but it
had a weight to it that silenced her. "I don't think that would be the
best of ideas."
Unconsciously, she rubbed her arm. "Why... why not?"
"I..." He had no clue what to say, and that made him realize
his answer. "I have a lot to think about."
That night, before he slept, Zelgadis expected Amelia to walk
into his room. He almost wanted her to. So he sat up in bed reading more
of the holy book, more out of boredom than for actual information, while
a warm, disturbing sensation nagged the back of his mind. Another feeling,
a very familiar one, nestled itself in his bed with him as he put out the
candle beside him, although he could not figure out why. Disappointment.
It irked him to the point that he debated going to see her. Maybe
just open up her door a crack and see if she was asleep. He was feeling
a little guilty over the past few days; maybe he was expecting too much
from her. All take, no give, she had said... He walked through the
dark to his door, but his usual sensibility got the better of him as he
turned the handle. It was silly to try to handle things he did not understand
yet. After tomorrow, I'll have a whole month to sort things out. Then
I'll get back to her. He went to bed with a relatively clear conscience,
and, for the first time in weeks, fell immediately to sleep.
It was a long night for Amelia. It started off with her simply
staring out the open window to watch the sky turn dark. The world melted
away as she leaned against the window sill, enjoying the fresh breeze that
caressed her, made her hair dance in black waves. But silence always leads
to thought, and so she began to dwell once again on Zelgadis. She wanted
to ask him a million questions, which was nothing new; she had wanted to
ask him a million questions since the day she found out that he was the
great grandson of Rezo the Red Priest, but the questions now were no longer
out of mere curiousity. She needed to know what he was thinking. For
a while, things seemed like they were going really well, but then...
Her mind replayed the night before, the two of them standing in the dark
hallway. She was at least hoping he would tell her to wait, but instead
he only said 'Good night, Amelia.' It wasn't the most pleasant sounding
'good night,' either.
She left her post at the window to walk to her door. I have
to know what he... Then his latest move stabbed its way into her mind.
He
doesn't want me to stay here to wait with him... She cursed herself.
Everything
was going so well until last night. She blamed herself for pushing
him as she realized that her telling him she would wait for him was an
invitation, an invitation she knew he was not ready to accept.
Miss
Lina was right. He needs his space to sort things out. Then she thought
she should apologize to him. It took all of her strength to pry her hand
off the doorknob.
As she lay alone in the dark, she kept hoping for the impossibility
of a knock on her door from a certain stone hand. Every second she did
not hear it seemed like an eternity. By no means was Amelia desperate.
She was scared, afraid that Zelgadis would use his month in isolation to
convince himself that he had no feelings for her; she knew that it was
in his power to do so. Afterall, he had convinced himself that he did not
need his friends two years ago, and the change in him was dire. He still
seemed like he did not trust them sometimes. Zelgadis had a mind and an
upbringing that encouraged him to break bonds, despite what he actually
wanted or his feelings.
Still, maybe it's something he needs, she concluded. Maybe
this is a test, to see if things really will work out between us... As
she lay on her side, she gripped her pillow a little tighter. He said
he doesn't feel anything for me yet. What if he really doesn't feel anything
for me? What if he becomes human and he just leaves? What if he doesn't
realize he doesn't have feelings for me? The last thought made her
shudder. Part of her believed that Zelgadis thought love would magically
appear in his life once he became human without actually knowing what it
was. It gave a sense of urgency to her desire to know where he stood with
her while he was still a chimera. Deep down, she also knew her faults,
and that one of her greatest strengths that placed her above other women
was that she accepted Zelgadis as he was, no matter what he was. If he
was human, and she did want him to be human, he might not consider that
anymore. She would be less special, and more like every other girl he could
have.
Her feelings overtook her resolve, and she found herself walking
towards his door through a wall of doubt thick enough to be an ocean. She
stood outside his door, hoping that any minute he would open it. She considered
it helping him; if he decided he wanted to see her, she would meet him
halfway, therefore taking away the anxious feeling of having to approach
her door.
When he did not come, she felt the tears welling up again, however,
she decided she had been crying far too often. The princess began to see
how naive she was being, it was almost as if she had thought she could
let Zelgadis know she was there through the door. Her shoulders sank, and
she hunched forward a bit, rubbing one of her eyes. It certainly wouldn't
be wrong to cry, she told herself. It's fine so long as it's not
in front of Zelgadis, he's the only one who said I do it too often. Besides,
I can't help how I feel. She turned to go back to her room when she
heard a door open. She turned, thrilled, to the sound.
Gourry stepped out of his room. "Amelia?" he called in one of
his softer tones.
"Mister Gourry?" Her surprise overpowered her disappointment.
"I thought you were out here," he whispered. "Is everything all
right? You've been out here a while, haven't you?" She looked down, and
the thought suddenly flashed in his head of whose door she was outside.
"Do you want to talk to him?"
Amelia closed her eyes as tight as she could as she shook her
head and squeaked out a "no."
He knew something was wrong. The swordsman knew he was not all
that quick, but he knew if he felt something, it was usually dead on. He
placed a large hand on her petite shoulder. "You want I should talk to
him?"
"Mister Gourry!" she cried in as soft a voice as possible. It
wasn't too hard, considering the lump in her throat. The young woman threw
herself into her friend's chest, and he did his best to comfort her as
she cried.
When Amelia finally calmed down, she took a step away from him.
"I... I'm really sorry, Mister Gourry. I just..."
He smiled warmly, knowingly. "It's all right, Amelia. I'm sure
he'll come around."
The princess was truly dumbstruck to hear him say such a thing.
Her eyes went wide. "M... Mister Gourry... how..."
"Now get to bed. Lina'll murder us if we don't hit a town in
time for lunch!" He grinned nervously at the thought of the bandit-killer
turning on them. It was almost as scary as the dawn of a dread-instilling
thought: if he didn't do anything for his friends now, no one would.
Zelgadis finally deemed himself back to normal as he got dressed
that morning. He was feeling better than he ever had during the past two
years. As he walked down the long hallway toward the dining area, his mind
settled on the encouraging thought that he would be human soon (with none
of the other more complicated details associated with the event plaguing
it). It seemed like it would actually be a good day. This feeling was slaughtered
as he saw Gourry leaning against the wall of the corridor. There were three
reasons for this. One, there was no reason to be relaxing in the middle
of a hallway. Second, Gourry obviously would have heard him leave his room,
yet he pretended not to see him even though he was walking towards him.
Finally, and most unsettling, was the fact that Gourry was waiting for
him in the hallway when they both knew that breakfast was ready in the
dining hall.
The chimera did not particularly want any burdens today, yet
he wanted to see what was up. Indecisiveness made him stand still. "Uhm..."
"Hey, Zel!" Gourry forced in false surprise. "Big day today,
huh?"
Zelgadis analysed the statement a thousand times in a second.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, we're all leaving today," he explained a little too loudly,
"and I was wondering..."
Red lights and stop signs and fireworks exploded all over Zel's
mind's eye. Gourry wondering meant Gourry was thinking. That was cause
for the world to end, and Zelgadis immediately knew he was in for something
bad. He braced himself.
"..about how you're gonna say good bye to Amelia. Should be something
else, huh?"
Zelgadis' entire body went limp, although he somehow remained
standing. He had entirely forgotten that he would have to say good bye
to the princess. "C... come again?" he stammered.
Gourry knew this was bad. He placed a hand behind his head as
he forced a grin. "You know, you'll have to say good bye to her."
The chimera was officially worried. "B.. but she'll be with you
guys. That is, she'll be in a group."
"You're gonna talk to her alone, right?"
He brought a hand up to his face over his solely visible wide
eye. Swallowing hard, he thought out loud, "I... I guess that would be...
about right...." With a clean slate expression, he desperately asked, "What
should I say?"
Gourry looked at his unraveled friend vacantly. "Say what?"
It seemed like a great cosmic joke that the blonde would shift
back to dimness just as the chimera needed him. "Say when I'm alone with
her, Gourry!" he reminded him as he fell apart. His mind told him he had
to pull himself together, but the situation made him ignore it. Any
chance I have with Amelia could be resting on this! Suddenly the stress
faded away to a chill. Why am I worried about... Quietly, and without
any idea if Gourry was already answering him or not, he murmured, "She'll
just wait, won't she?"
The swordsman looked worried for a moment. He had no clue what
to say; he could not even figure out whether it was over his head or too
deep to respond to. Instead, he just smiled and answered,"If you think
so, Zel, then I'd say so."
Zelgadis' back hit the wall, and he slowly slid down it until
he was sitting on the floor.
"Did I..!" Gourry began.
"No, Gourry. You didn't do anything wrong," Zelgadis assured
him numbly.
The swordsman felt like he had broken him. "Uhm... I know you're
gonna do the right thing, Zelgadis," was all he could think to say before
leaving, and he knew he had to leave.
There was tension as the four stood outside, mainly due to the
fact that "the four" were Lina, Gourry, Amelia, and Daubrik. Zelgadis had
not showed for breakfast, and no one could find him throughout the entire
temple. Amelia was wringing her hands. Gourry watched a butterfly hover
over the grass.
Lina nervously debated if she should just declare it time to
leave. Her compassion forced her to do otherwise. "Ya know, Amelia, he's
just not one for good byes. He never was."
Amelia played with her armband, noting in her mind that the other
one was no longer in her possession. "I know, Miss Lina, but..."
A deep voice quietly projected itself from behind her. "Sometimes
you have to force yourself to do things you don't like."
Her first impulse as she turned was to yell his name with all
the joyful enthusiasm she could muster. The slightly sad look on his face
made her hold it back.
"I don't know what to say," he admitted.
Everyone except for Zelgadis smiled.
Amelia jumped a bit from the warm chill of supressed elation.
"Uhm.." She blushed. "..That's alright, Mister Zelgadis..."
A long silence followed, only to be broken by more silence as
Zelgadis peered over Amelia's shoulder. His eye was drawn by the sensation
of movement, and, sure enough, Lina was waving her arm to get his attention.
She was trying to offer him help. Tell her you'll miss her, she mouthed.
The chimera, stiff as a statue, raised one would-be eyebrow as
warmth rushed to his face. I don't know if i can, he mouthed back, while
Amelia stared intently at her hands. Zelgadis just hoped Lina would come
up with something better. He could have cut through the anxiety around
himself and Amelia with a chainsaw.
At least say you like her, was his answer.
I can't say that! he replied, his eyes widening.
"Mister Zelgadis, what are you doing?" Amelia asked, finally
catching him as he spoke without sound.
"N.. Nothing!" he fired off with a forced, lopsided grin. His
arms unconsciously came up into an 'I'm innocent, officer' pose.
Amelia shot around to face her friends. "Miss Lina! What are
you...!"
"It was Gourry!" the redhead quickly retaliated.
"Mister Gourry!"
"What?" he wondered, clueless as usual.
Amelia stopped herself; she knew Gourry, no matter how kindhearted
he was, would never think things through enough to help the chimera. The
princess returned her glare to the sorceress.
In a last ditch effort to defend herself, Lina offered, "Well,
it's not like he'd think to say he liked you himself!"
Zelgadis felt like passing out, and for once took comfort in
his natural reaction to get angry instead. "Lina! I never...!"
Amelia did a quick one-eighty. "Really? Did you say that to Miss
Lina?" she grilled him while hope filled her blue starry eyes.
"I..." 'm stuck. His surprised expression hid his desire
to want to crawl under a rock. Thanks for the help, Lina. He looked at
his friend, a weak smile adorned her face. "Ameli.ah..." he sighed, but
cut himself short as he realized there were three more people than there
should be hanging on his every word. He sighed again as he wrapped his
hand around Amelia's wrist and led them a good distance away from the onlookers.
Guilt was creeping up on Amelia again. She knew she had put too
much pressure on him, but she honestly thought that if he wanted to tell
anyone about his feelings, it would be Lina. She tried to bite her thumbnail,
only to remember that she had started wearing gloves. "You don't have to..."
He cut her off. "Amelia, I really don't know how I feel about
you. I'd like to give you a definite answer," he confessed, "but I can't.
I'm not used to any of this and I need more time, which is why I want...
no.. need to be alone for a while." He looked at her softly, with a certain
shyness that unnerved Amelia. He did not seem to be embarassed of the fact
that he was blushing, either. "I really want to figure this out."
Amelia found herself speechless for once as she lost herself
in surprisingly deep pools of teal. His eyes no longer seemed quite so
demonic.
Even over the thirty or so yards that separated them, Lina could
see things were going well. Gourry stopped breathing so heavily as he saw
Lina smile. Things got even better when Lina started to be Lina again.
"Way to go, Zel!" she cheered.
The would be couple smiled.
Lina went on. "Now let's see some action! Kiss her!"
If Zel was not already stone, he would have turned to it. Amelia
blushed furiously, wanting him to do it, but knowing it was going too far.
In her expedient cover up tone of voice, she shot off a rapid, "Well I
guess we've got to get going It was really great to talk like this I hope
you get everything figured out We'll be back in time to make sure everything's
set for your cure I'll miss you." When she ended, she ran off smiling to
join the others as they set out. Amelia continued to wave as Lina snickered
all the way to the edge of the cliff, where they levitated down without
incident.
Zelgadis was still a statue when a wooden pole was leaned against
him.
"You still alive?" Daubrik asked the blue sculpture (its face
carefully shaded violet.)
Zelgadis blinked, turning his head an inch to face the man. "Huh?"
He inspected the pole, which was actually a metal rake.
Daubrik gave him a wry smile. "C'mon, you said you were gonna
work."
"Work?" Zelgadis stared blankly at the man. "This isn't work,"
he proclaimed, lifting up the rake to offer it as proof. "This is a vacation."
Tsuzuku...
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