Part Ten
by: Shell Presto
Disclaimer: I don't own the Slayers, Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi, and
various companies do. However, this story is my own, and I'd like to keep
it that way. Have honour, okay? Enjoy.
Proofreading/editing/beta-reading for this story was done by Dreamsinger.
Thanks DS!
Email me at mangetsu@email.com with any commentary. Even the smallest suggestion is appreciated, and the more critical comments are indispensable. Please drop me a line even to tell me if you are reading this. I always try to write back. It helps. Also, be sure to check out my webpage Inspiration Stemming from Sleep Deprivation for the fanart that goes with this story.
The One Third Human doujinshi is available on my website, Inspiration
Stemming from Sleep Deprivation.
I also now have a 'guest' fanart gallery for 1/3. Check
it out.
As Zelgadis looked over the placid water, only one thought filled
his mind. It's quiet. Silence, in its truest, most peaceful form
surrounded him while he lowered his body into the water. The chimera leaned
against the rocks that formed a makeshift wall and craned his neck back
until his head rested on the surface of the stone, equally as hard as the
head that rested on it. Even watching the dull moon in the still-light
sky did not calm his unease. He had been traveling alone for two years,
yet not two months had been spent with his friends and already silence
seemed alien to him again. It seemed like ages since he had taken
a bath without Gourry there talking to him (or just to himself). The air
seemed stale without the sound of Lina and Amelia's small talk and loud
antics to liven it up.
He allowed himself to smile as he watched twilight begin its
work. "No doubts anymore," he confessed to the sky. "I'm attached." The
chimera often felt he led a dual life, one of complete, bitter solitude,
and one of appreciative companionship with his friends. He felt different
when he was with them. Sure, I've always had my doubts of their acceptance
of me, but they've never been anything but supportive. Zelgadis had
never thought this way before, never so clearly. He was beginning to like
the change in himself; it seemed natural to open up, and he knew exactly
why.
He let out a long breath. "I'm going to be human again." The
words sounded better every time he said them. The air suddenly seemed cooler,
more refreshing. Everything did, in fact. His own smile was disconcerting,
but he was beginning to enjoy the discomfort. It was starting to feel normal,
and he would be normal soon. He leaned forward, and for the first time
in years he did not notice his reflection in the water that surrounded
him. He finally chose not to.
"I wonder what Amelia will think when she sees me..." His thoughts
trailed off for a second. "I really am changing, aren't I?" he asked no
one in particular. He started to rub some of the dirt off his hands. His
mind went over the little details in his life that would have to change.
He would sweat more often. His hair would get greasy again. Bathing would
once again become a necessity instead of a luxury. Zelgadis sighed. I'll
love every minute of it. He looked at his hands, and instead of seeing
the blue stone he loathed so much, he pictured flesh, pale, alive with
sensation. He remembered how good water used to feel against his skin,
and his thoughts drifted to Amelia once again.
He did not think too much about their relationship, per se. Zelgadis
just thought of her, giving his mind a break from their tangled situation.
Unlike the town below the cliff, everything surrounding the temple
was lush and green, partly due to years of magical treating, and partially
because it had not been included in the fighting with the goblins. Zelgadis
was surprised to learn that the magic was not apt to wear off despite the
absence of the original casters, and that Daubrik himself was now the sole
person to provide magical and physical maintenance to the surrounding area.
Consequently, there was a lot of ground to cover, especially in the area
of agriculture.
The chimera did not show his resentment at being made to do the
harder jobs as he drove a shovel into the ground. Not that he minded the
work, but in the back of his mind lurked the resentment that he was only
being asked to do the hard labour because he was inhuman, despite being
'inhumanly strong.' Daubrik, now dressed in less cumbersome, cooler clothing,
was following him up by planting potatoes in the holes Zelgadis was digging.
After a while in silence, Daubrik wiped some sweat off his brow
and looked at his help. "Aren't you hot?"
Zelgadis was not unaware that the sun was beating down on them;
the heat was more than unusual for such a high elevation. More magic, he
knew, and he was quite uncomfortable. "It doesn't matter. I don't sweat,
anyway," he dismissed the concern.
"Still," Daubrik pressed as he looked over the chimera, "Wouldn't
you be more comfortable without so many layers? I mean, the cloak and the
long sleeved shirt."
Inwardly, the chimera agreed. For once, he decided not to be
reserved about expressing his thoughts. "'Comfort' is relative," was all
he said.
"You don't want me to stare," the priest deduced. "I'll try not
to, and even if I do, I'll get used to it after a while."
"Still.." Zelgadis protested.
"I've been in your position," he reminded the chimera.
That shut Zelgadis up. He was not used to hearing that. With
more reserve than was normal for a man, Zelgadis unhooked his clasp, then
removed his cloak, followed by his shirt, tossing them onto a nearby patch
of grass. The air seemed cooler after that. It was always a refreshing
sensation to have air on his skin. Even though it did not feel nearly as
nice as when he was human, it was still a major change simply because he
spent so much time covered up. Although Daubrik did not stare at him, he
still felt the numbing urge to put his shirt back on, to hide his grotesque
body. Unconsciously, his shoulders fell forward as his body wanted to collapse
in on itself.
Sympathetically, Daubrik left to attend to other chores.
Zelgadis allowed himself to fall to his knees when the other
man was out of sight. Equally ashamed of his body and his reaction, Zelgadis
cursed his grandfather for damning him to a life of reservation. The shame
was nothing new, it was with him whenever he walked into a town, fearing
that someone would take too much notice of what was always visible on him,
his eyes, his hair, his fingers. The more skin Zelgadis exposed, the worse
it felt, especially when his friends were not around. The memories of wanting
to tear his skin off the first time he had to take a bath with Gourry conjured
themselves up. It was the most dreadful feeling back then, having someone
see his disfigured form naked. Then the shame dissipated as he thought
back on it. Zelgadis laughed to himself with grateful amusement. Gourry
never did think twice about my appearance, did he? The swordsman had
never once stared at him after they had established themselves as allies.
Maybe
it's because he's too dumb... Zelgadis considered the thought for a
moment, then dismissed it. He knew what it was; Gourry was just that innocent.
Zelgadis smiled as he stood back up. He really was starting to miss them.
Zelgadis lay in bed awake that night, still shirtless. The sensation
of air on his stone skin was still disconcerting, a fact that troubled
him. After all, the air felt good, cool, and it should have been a pleasurable
sensation after having had to cover up all the time. But it was not. No
matter how many times he told himself to relax, he still felt tense, like
he wanted to grab something to cover up his skin. He never felt such a
way when bathing, but that was different, that had its purpose. He sat
up, covering his face with a stone hand, finally understanding. "This is
what it'll be like to be human, isn't it?" In his mind, he was asking Amelia
or Lina. "It's just like they said all along," he realized. The idea of
cold air, air that he could feel, on his human skin, made him shiver, but
not from the pleasure of it. He knew he would still feel the same, knew
it would make him want to fold in on himself. The same way...
"Amelia." The chimera looked up, lost for a second. His ears
held the echo of his heart beating in his throat; it would not get any
easier. It could take me years to get used to her, he admitted in
defeat. But I want to. I want to get used to having her around.
Zelgadis wanted to think of how much easier his life would be if he had
never been a chimera, but it did not seem all that great without his friends,
no matter how many more there were to replace them.
Amelia tripped over her own feet as she walked across the field
behind the temple. "Daubrik said he was out here," she told herself quietly.
She paused, waiting to hear Zelgadis' voice in the distance, assuming he
heard her. Thankfully, all she heard was the dull din of chirping crickets.
For as much as she wanted to see the chimera, she was afraid of the moment
when she would. "I hope he isn't mad about my coming back early. It's been
two weeks. That should be enough time to himself, right?" she wondered
aloud, trying to justify herself. Lina had told her to stay away longer,
but the princess kept hoping that maybe Zelgadis would want an extra week
for them to be alone together before he was cured. At least, that was what
Amelia wanted.
She was softly padding over the dirt when she suddenly fell with
a scream.
Eight feet down.
And into the arms of a very confused and shocked chimera. A shovel
clattered to the ground. "Amelia!? What are you doing here?"
She opened her eyes to find herself in a very narrow pit, being
held by a dirt-covered chimera. "Mister Zelgadis? What?"
He placed her on her feet as he explained, "I'm being exploited,
more or less. Daubrik wanted a well put in, and, since I'm stronger than
him, he asked me to do it."
"Oh," the princess started absently, "So, why not just use a
spell?"
Leaning against the wall of the giant hole, Zelgadis replied,
"I don't mind the work." It keeps my mind occupied. "What are you
doing back so soon?"
A blush crept over her face. "I.. I uh..." Her words broke off
as she examined the chimera. Something seemed amiss.
"What is it?"
She pointed at him. "You're not wearing a shirt."
He looked down, having forgotten, pleased that he had. As he
met her surprised gaze, his expression turned to one of weary somberness.
"Yeah. I'm trying to get used to it." His eyes then latched onto the ward
on her neck. "I've decided there's a lot I have to get used to."
The feeling that she had interrupted something important overtook
her. "I.. I'm sorry I came back early. I just thought... That is I..."
As he interrupted, he forced a smile. Not because he did not
want to smile, but because the action was still so alien to him. "It's
all right," he assured her.
His words calmed her, dismissed her fear. With renewed bravery,
she announced, "I just wanted to see you."
His mantra echoing in the back of his mind, he summoned up enough
of a voice to say, "I.. wanted to see you.. as well." The forced smile
had faded despite his best efforts, and it allowed Amelia to see that he
was serious.
Placing her arms behind her back, she stood up straight and flashed
him one of her genuine smiles. "I'm glad, Mister Zelgadis," she said, closing
her eyes and tilting her head to one side.
It made him smile.
The next time he saw her, it was late afternoon. The sun was getting
low in the sky, starting to add a pink hue to the lowest clouds in the
blue sky. He was walking back towards the temple when Amelia came out towards
him, holding clothes and towels between her slender arms. He stopped, staring
blankly at her as she approached.
"Daubrik said you usually take a bath before you eat, so I figured
I'd bring your stuff out," she explained, offering him the bundle.
As he reached out to take it, Amelia withdrew. Only then did
his mind defog itself enough to realize just how much dirt was caked onto
his hands. He absently wiped them on his equally dirty pants while her
kindness continued to disconcert him. "I usually... That is I..."
Breaking a chain of stuttering, she added, "And I was hoping
you'd show me where the lake is. I wouldn't mind freshening up myself."
He just kind of stopped and stared at her, not sure of what to
say or do. Another not so nice reminder of his inexperience. The downer
brought him back to his usual self. "It's this way," he dully stated, tilting
his head in the direction before turning to lead the way.
The princess followed him in silence, staring at his familiar
clothes in her arms. She was torn between words and the lack thereof. She
wanted to say something to him, but all the while she was picking up a
vibration of vulnerability from him. Amelia liked to think he was projecting
it, trying to let her know how he was feeling even though he would not
so much as look at her, yet she knew him well enough to realize that he
thought he could just hide it. The chimera never seemed to like feeling
the least bit vulnerable. That twinge of uncertainty was his only weakness.
Maybe
that's why he's so obsessed with power.
The opportunity to speak presented itself when they walked past
an impressive patch of tall, crimson flowers. Amelia happily dropped to
her knees before them. "Look at these flowers, Mister Zelgadis," she chirped
in delight.
He simply turned around to stare at her in curiosity.
"I've never seen flowers like this before," the princess informed
him as she plucked one from the ground. She held it close for examination,
inhaling its soft scent, noting the bright colour, like a starfish on a
rod of green.
He was jealous of the smile the flowers brought to her face.
His thoughts were interrupted as she leaned over to pick one of the small
white flowers that accompanied the more dominant red ones. "Amelia!" he
called, a bit too frantically for the situation.
She looked up, alarmed, her arm hanging in dead space.
Zelgadis blushed. "Uhm. Those flowers, they 'bleed.' A reddish
fluid will start running if you pick it."
"oh," she mouthed quietly, with a touch of disappointment. She
stood up with her new crimson flower, and forced a smile. "Gee, Mister
Zelgadis, I didn't think you'd know about flowers, too."
His face got a more vibrant shade of violet, and all he could
force out was an "Uhm... yeah."
If Zelgadis heard her sigh, he did not acknowledge it. He had
to hear that, Amelia thought to herself after he ignored her small
attempt to draw him out. There's no way he couldn't hear it. There is
no sound! She rolled her eyes. He'd make a great mime. She sighed
once again, this time genuinely. I wish I could understand what's going
on inside your head, Mister Zelgadis. I know you're nervous, and I know
why you think you should be, but I wish I could understand it. Amelia
felt herself melt a little as the silence furthered the rift between them.
Sure, he's made of stone, but he's not bad looking. She
found herself analyzing how he looked earlier in the day, when he was actually
facing her. The picture of him shirtless was somehow frozen in her mind,
even though he was still walking in front of her in the same state. He
looks so different with all of his clothes on. She looked down at the
turtleneck and cape in her hands. All his clothes are made of such heavy
material. They really build him up. She noted how thin he was, how
much narrower his shoulders seemed without triple layers of fabric covering
them. He actually looks a lot broader from the back. He almost looked
like a puzzle that did not quite fit together, with decent shoulders, but
with thinner arms and a slender torso that did not belong together. It
didn't seem quite right, but it made for a very unique composition. She
could not take her eyes off his back as he moved, watching his skin move
with his muscles, hard stone angles changing with such fluid motion. He
looks.. interesting. She embraced the warm feeling that spread across
her cheeks. He's always looked interesting.
Then she realized what it was, and why he looked so much broader from
the the back. He's slouching. And indeed, ever so slightly, his
shoulders were pulled forward, making his chest concave. The sight bothered
her. He never slouches. But he's been doing it all day, hasn't he? She
tightened her grip on his clothing, hugging it, smelling the soft scent
of the dust of ages that he carried with him everywhere. She wondered what
he had been thinking about while she was away, and if he had really lessened
his burden in their absense. If his body was telling her anything, it was
that he was carrying more weight on his stone shoulders.
After a small eternity of walking, they arrived at a lake surrounded
by rocks and some shrubbery. As if realizing for the first time that they
would be bathing in the same area together, they stared blankly at each
other. Clamping a fang down on a stone fingernail, Zelgadis asked,
"So now what?"
Amelia's face turned red as she looked for an answer. "Oh, over
there!" she hurriedly pointed out a place where the forest had overtaken
the edge of the water. "Some of those branches are hanging into the lake.
If we go over there, we can each have a side."
"Sounds plausible," the chimera commented with a shrug, then
headed towards the divider.
Amelia made sure her companion was safely on his side of the
divider before relaxing. As the princess let the bundle of towels and clothes
fall to the grass, she wondered aloud, "How come I ended up carrying all
of this anyway?"
His voice carried well despite the foliage separating them. "I
wasn't expecting you to come with me, and since I didn't have to go back
to the temple for my clothes, I forgot to go back in and wash the dirt
off my hands." The answer surprised her, mainly because she thought she
had spoken inaudibly; she had forgotten how strong his sense of hearing
was.
It made her hesitate to undress. That's silly, Amelia,
she scolded herself. It doesn't matter if he can hear you while you're
naked. It's his ears that are sensitive, not his eyes. Still, her hands
refused to unhook her cape. Almost unconsciously, she began to stare into
the thick wall of hanging branches, inspecting their effectiveness as a
curtain. It seemed perfect. Still nervous, she inquired through the veil
of green, "You can't see me, can you, Mister Zelgadis?"
The chimera was taken aback by the question, having been innocently
relaxing in the water. "I hadn't tried to look," he answered, calmly enough.
"Well, you couldn't see me if you tried, right?" she questioned.
"I mean, you can't see through walls or anything, can you?" Red creeped
up into her cheeks, and the princess was instantly mortified.
Although quietly, he laughed aloud. "You really don't have to
be that nervous, Amelia."
"I.. I'm sorry!" she stammered. "It was a silly question. I really
wasn't thinking! I..."
"It's alright, Amelia," he reassured her. "I can't see through
solid objects. More importantly, I've got too much pride to try to see
you naked, so relax."
"R..Right!" she agreed, feeling pathetic as she slid her clothes
off and slipped into the water.
The stillness of her surroundings opened her mind to some more
complex thoughts as she lathered up a washcloth with a bit of soap. A gentle
breeze ruffled her bangs and the leaves alike, and made her shiver despite
the water's warmth. The peacefulness was very nice, but it made her feel
very alone. Very quietly, she asked "Can you hear me, Mister Zelgadis?"
In contrast to her volume, he was obviously projecting his voice
so she could hear. "I can when you talk, if that's what you mean. I really
can't otherwise."
"I just meant talking," she clarified.
"Then, yes, I can hear you."
Amelia was feeling rather proud of herself for having closed
the communication gap. That is, until the dead silence walled itself between
them again. The princess sweatdropped. Then she got self conscious. Maybe
he doesn't want to talk to me... She shook her head vigourously, trying
to erase the thought. That can't be it, I didn't do anything wrong.
But why doesn't he ever say anything? Finally, the thought dawned on
her to just ask. "Mister Zelgadis?" she called softly.
The first syllable out of his mouth was a curious "hm?" It was
immediately replaced by "What is it, Amelia?" when he realized she probably
could not hear him.
She paused, considering whether she should ask or not. It
is, after all, a very personal question. But if he and I are... She
settled down into the water until it just touched her chin. She wanted
to hide away. Looking at her wavy reflection, she wondered just what he
saw when he looked at her.
"Amelia?" his voice was subdued. It almost had a caring tone
to it.
Maybe I'm the one projecting... She cleared her throat.
"You don't like to talk, do you, Mister Zelgadis?"
His eyes widened a moment as he stared at nothing before focusing
on his reflection in the water. He tried to imagine his human form staring
back at him, as he had done hundreds of times in the past weeks. But he
could not. Not while Amelia was talking to him, and he was sure that he
could not in the presence of Gourry and Lina. He only saw the blue stone
he detested, sharp, silver hair, and thin demonic eyes. Without even making
a conscious decision to, he slammed his hand into the water to disrupt
the unwelcome image.
"Mister Zelgadis?"
The chimera closed his eyes tightly, and exhaled a few tight
breaths, trying to rid himself of the self hate. His mantra died before
he could repeat it; it could not stand up to the evidence before his eyes.
It was a burning pain in his chest. That was the best he could describe
it to himself as he covered his face with his hands and let the weeks of
self reassurance just die.
The silence had become tense, like it was trying to strangle
her. Amelia shivered and wished she could see beyond the barrier. It was
not like Zelgadis to delay an answer. "I... I'm sorry, Mister Zelgadis.
I just..." The words fell short. She did not know what to say. He had been
feeling vulnerable, and she made it worse. An apology was not what he needed.
Amelia tried her best to sit up straight. With precise
and careful articulation, she told him "You can tell me anything, Zelgadis.
I really don't mind, and I really won't judge you on it. I only asked because
I want to help."
He could not even lift his head from his hands. "I just want
to be human, Amelia. As soon as possible. I just want this cure to work."
The words were sticking in his throat, and when they ended, he had a hard
time inhaling. He had to force his concentration to make sure breathing
did not turn to sobbing.
When a hand touched his bare shoulder, he nearly jumped out of
his stone skin, but managed to keep himself submerged. He whipped around
like a flash to see a sopping wet Amelia, fully clothed and completely
unnerved with her hand occupying the space he had been in. Despite the
pounding of her heart, she found herself reading his face as he calmed.
His lone wide eye showed confusion, but underneath that, sadness. Not that
it was not always there; she had never seen him without a hint of it there,
even when smiling. Her comforting voice became detached from shock. "I..
was going to say... I know that this cure will work.... I can feel it...
zelgadis."
Zelgadis could not help but stare blankly at the drenched embodiment
of optimism that stood before him. He was amazed at how things always seemed
true when she said them, no matter how impossible they seemed. Coming
over here was a rather nice gesture as well. He averted his gaze to
the water again, not wanting to hold eye contact. "Uhm, Amelia?"
"Yes, Mister Zelgadis?" she eagerly replied.
"Could you turn around while I put on some clothes?"
Somewhere out of earshot, Xelloss was laughing aloud.
Stone was turning to glass, and starting to crack under stress.
Amelia decided to keep fair distance and high optimism.
If anything had changed, Lina did not notice upon her return.
Zelgadis was still isolating himself as much as possible, Amelia was trying
her best to give him space, and Daubrik was avoiding Amelia like the plague
simply because she was a girl. All in all, things were looking pretty up.
Lina met up with Zelgadis as he was watering seeds. He was going
about it the hard way, with two buckets of water that constantly needed
refilling. The redhead grinned and waved a finger at him. "You know, that
would be a lot easier if you used Aqua Create."
The chimera paid her no attention as he carefully spilled water
across a row of small sprouts. "I haven't learned it yet," he informed
her.
"And you're our resident shamanist?" she teased.
He looked up at her in fake disbelief. "If I need water, I'll
just cast an ice spell. Besides, I like--"
"--the work because it keeps me away from Amelia," the sorceress
finished for him.
"I wasn't going to say that," he corrected.
Lina exclaimed knowingly, "But you thought it, and that's what
really counts."
"I suppose you're right," the chimera agreed. "After all, you
never say a word to Gourry, but you two have really hit it off."
"Zel," she threatened as she glowered at him.
He took a step back, just in case she decided to throw a spell
his way. "Hey now. You're the one who brought it up."
Her clenched fist was shaking from the tension. "I should cream
you for that," she insisted, but, in an amazing display of self control,
she let her arm drop as she calmed herself. "However," she declared, "I'm
not going to hit you. I'm going to wait four days."
Zelgadis cracked a smile.
Lina followed up with one of her own. "Because then it'll actually
hurt you."
Tsuzuku...
http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/m/l/mlp246/onethirdtrilogy.html
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Bridge/3542/fanfix.html
http://www.personal.psu.edu/users/m/l/mlp246/fanart.html
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Bridge/3542/index.html
