One Third Human
Part Ten
by: Shell Presto

Disclaimer: I don't own the Slayers, Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi, and various companies do. However, this story is my own, and I'd like to keep it that way. Have honour, okay? Enjoy.
Proofreading/editing/beta-reading for this story was done by Dreamsinger. Thanks DS!

Email me at mangetsu@email.com with any commentary. Even the smallest suggestion is appreciated, and the more critical comments are indispensable. Please drop me a line even to tell me if you are reading this. I always try to write back. It helps. Also, be sure to check out my webpage Inspiration Stemming from Sleep Deprivation for the fanart that goes with this story.

The One Third Human doujinshi is available on my website, Inspiration Stemming from Sleep Deprivation.
I also now have a 'guest' fanart gallery for 1/3. Check it out.

As Zelgadis looked over the placid water, only one thought filled his mind. It's quiet. Silence, in its truest, most peaceful form surrounded him while he lowered his body into the water. The chimera leaned against the rocks that formed a makeshift wall and craned his neck back until his head rested on the surface of the stone, equally as hard as the head that rested on it. Even watching the dull moon in the still-light sky did not calm his unease. He had been traveling alone for two years, yet not two months had been spent with his friends and already silence seemed alien to him again. It seemed like ages since he had taken a bath without Gourry there talking to him (or just to himself). The air seemed stale without the sound of Lina and Amelia's small talk and loud antics to liven it up.
He allowed himself to smile as he watched twilight begin its work. "No doubts anymore," he confessed to the sky. "I'm attached." The chimera often felt he led a dual life, one of complete, bitter solitude, and one of appreciative companionship with his friends. He felt different when he was with them. Sure, I've always had my doubts of their acceptance of me, but they've never been anything but supportive. Zelgadis had never thought this way before, never so clearly. He was beginning to like the change in himself; it seemed natural to open up, and he knew exactly why.
He let out a long breath. "I'm going to be human again." The words sounded better every time he said them. The air suddenly seemed cooler, more refreshing. Everything did, in fact. His own smile was disconcerting, but he was beginning to enjoy the discomfort. It was starting to feel normal, and he would be normal soon. He leaned forward, and for the first time in years he did not notice his reflection in the water that surrounded him. He finally chose not to.
"I wonder what Amelia will think when she sees me..." His thoughts trailed off for a second. "I really am changing, aren't I?" he asked no one in particular. He started to rub some of the dirt off his hands. His mind went over the little details in his life that would have to change. He would sweat more often. His hair would get greasy again. Bathing would once again become a necessity instead of a luxury. Zelgadis sighed. I'll love every minute of it. He looked at his hands, and instead of seeing the blue stone he loathed so much, he pictured flesh, pale, alive with sensation. He remembered how good water used to feel against his skin, and his thoughts drifted to Amelia once again.
He did not think too much about their relationship, per se. Zelgadis just thought of her, giving his mind a break from their tangled situation.

Unlike the town below the cliff, everything surrounding the temple was lush and green, partly due to years of magical treating, and partially because it had not been included in the fighting with the goblins. Zelgadis was surprised to learn that the magic was not apt to wear off despite the absence of the original casters, and that Daubrik himself was now the sole person to provide magical and physical maintenance to the surrounding area. Consequently, there was a lot of ground to cover, especially in the area of agriculture.
The chimera did not show his resentment at being made to do the harder jobs as he drove a shovel into the ground. Not that he minded the work, but in the back of his mind lurked the resentment that he was only being asked to do the hard labour because he was inhuman, despite being 'inhumanly strong.' Daubrik, now dressed in less cumbersome, cooler clothing, was following him up by planting potatoes in the holes Zelgadis was digging.
After a while in silence, Daubrik wiped some sweat off his brow and looked at his help. "Aren't you hot?"
Zelgadis was not unaware that the sun was beating down on them; the heat was more than unusual for such a high elevation. More magic, he knew, and he was quite uncomfortable. "It doesn't matter. I don't sweat, anyway," he dismissed the concern.
"Still," Daubrik pressed as he looked over the chimera, "Wouldn't you be more comfortable without so many layers? I mean, the cloak and the long sleeved shirt."
Inwardly, the chimera agreed. For once, he decided not to be reserved about expressing his thoughts. "'Comfort' is relative," was all he said.
"You don't want me to stare," the priest deduced. "I'll try not to, and even if I do, I'll get used to it after a while."
"Still.." Zelgadis protested.
"I've been in your position," he reminded the chimera.
That shut Zelgadis up. He was not used to hearing that. With more reserve than was normal for a man, Zelgadis unhooked his clasp, then removed his cloak, followed by his shirt, tossing them onto a nearby patch of grass. The air seemed cooler after that. It was always a refreshing sensation to have air on his skin. Even though it did not feel nearly as nice as when he was human, it was still a major change simply because he spent so much time covered up. Although Daubrik did not stare at him, he still felt the numbing urge to put his shirt back on, to hide his grotesque body. Unconsciously, his shoulders fell forward as his body wanted to collapse in on itself.
Sympathetically, Daubrik left to attend to other chores.
Zelgadis allowed himself to fall to his knees when the other man was out of sight. Equally ashamed of his body and his reaction, Zelgadis cursed his grandfather for damning him to a life of reservation. The shame was nothing new, it was with him whenever he walked into a town, fearing that someone would take too much notice of what was always visible on him, his eyes, his hair, his fingers. The more skin Zelgadis exposed, the worse it felt, especially when his friends were not around. The memories of wanting to tear his skin off the first time he had to take a bath with Gourry conjured themselves up. It was the most dreadful feeling back then, having someone see his disfigured form naked. Then the shame dissipated as he thought back on it. Zelgadis laughed to himself with grateful amusement. Gourry never did think twice about my appearance, did he? The swordsman had never once stared at him after they had established themselves as allies. Maybe it's because he's too dumb... Zelgadis considered the thought for a moment, then dismissed it. He knew what it was; Gourry was just that innocent. Zelgadis smiled as he stood back up. He really was starting to miss them.

Zelgadis lay in bed awake that night, still shirtless. The sensation of air on his stone skin was still disconcerting, a fact that troubled him. After all, the air felt good, cool, and it should have been a pleasurable sensation after having had to cover up all the time. But it was not. No matter how many times he told himself to relax, he still felt tense, like he wanted to grab something to cover up his skin. He never felt such a way when bathing, but that was different, that had its purpose. He sat up, covering his face with a stone hand, finally understanding. "This is what it'll be like to be human, isn't it?" In his mind, he was asking Amelia or Lina. "It's just like they said all along," he realized. The idea of cold air, air that he could feel, on his human skin, made him shiver, but not from the pleasure of it. He knew he would still feel the same, knew it would make him want to fold in on himself. The same way...
"Amelia." The chimera looked up, lost for a second. His ears held the echo of his heart beating in his throat; it would not get any easier. It could take me years to get used to her, he admitted in defeat. But I want to. I want to get used to having her around. Zelgadis wanted to think of how much easier his life would be if he had never been a chimera, but it did not seem all that great without his friends, no matter how many more there were to replace them.

Amelia tripped over her own feet as she walked across the field behind the temple. "Daubrik said he was out here," she told herself quietly. She paused, waiting to hear Zelgadis' voice in the distance, assuming he heard her. Thankfully, all she heard was the dull din of chirping crickets. For as much as she wanted to see the chimera, she was afraid of the moment when she would. "I hope he isn't mad about my coming back early. It's been two weeks. That should be enough time to himself, right?" she wondered aloud, trying to justify herself. Lina had told her to stay away longer, but the princess kept hoping that maybe Zelgadis would want an extra week for them to be alone together before he was cured. At least, that was what Amelia wanted.
She was softly padding over the dirt when she suddenly fell with a scream.
Eight feet down.
And into the arms of a very confused and shocked chimera. A shovel clattered to the ground. "Amelia!? What are you doing here?"
She opened her eyes to find herself in a very narrow pit, being held by a dirt-covered chimera. "Mister Zelgadis? What?"
He placed her on her feet as he explained, "I'm being exploited, more or less. Daubrik wanted a well put in, and, since I'm stronger than him, he asked me to do it."
"Oh," the princess started absently, "So, why not just use a spell?"
Leaning against the wall of the giant hole, Zelgadis replied, "I don't mind the work." It keeps my mind occupied. "What are you doing back so soon?"
A blush crept over her face. "I.. I uh..." Her words broke off as she examined the chimera. Something seemed amiss.
"What is it?"
She pointed at him. "You're not wearing a shirt."
He looked down, having forgotten, pleased that he had. As he met her surprised gaze, his expression turned to one of weary somberness. "Yeah. I'm trying to get used to it." His eyes then latched onto the ward on her neck. "I've decided there's a lot I have to get used to."
The feeling that she had interrupted something important overtook her. "I.. I'm sorry I came back early. I just thought... That is I..."
As he interrupted, he forced a smile. Not because he did not want to smile, but because the action was still so alien to him. "It's all right," he assured her.
His words calmed her, dismissed her fear. With renewed bravery, she announced, "I just wanted to see you."
His mantra echoing in the back of his mind, he summoned up enough of a voice to say, "I.. wanted to see you.. as well." The forced smile had faded despite his best efforts, and it allowed Amelia to see that he was serious.
Placing her arms behind her back, she stood up straight and flashed him one of her genuine smiles. "I'm glad, Mister Zelgadis," she said, closing her eyes and tilting her head to one side.
It made him smile.

The next time he saw her, it was late afternoon. The sun was getting low in the sky, starting to add a pink hue to the lowest clouds in the blue sky. He was walking back towards the temple when Amelia came out towards him, holding clothes and towels between her slender arms. He stopped, staring blankly at her as she approached.
"Daubrik said you usually take a bath before you eat, so I figured I'd bring your stuff out," she explained, offering him the bundle.
As he reached out to take it, Amelia withdrew. Only then did his mind defog itself enough to realize just how much dirt was caked onto his hands. He absently wiped them on his equally dirty pants while her kindness continued to disconcert him. "I usually... That is I..."
Breaking a chain of stuttering, she added, "And I was hoping you'd show me where the lake is. I wouldn't mind freshening up myself."
He just kind of stopped and stared at her, not sure of what to say or do. Another not so nice reminder of his inexperience. The downer brought him back to his usual self. "It's this way," he dully stated, tilting his head in the direction before turning to lead the way.
The princess followed him in silence, staring at his familiar clothes in her arms. She was torn between words and the lack thereof. She wanted to say something to him, but all the while she was picking up a vibration of vulnerability from him. Amelia liked to think he was projecting it, trying to let her know how he was feeling even though he would not so much as look at her, yet she knew him well enough to realize that he thought he could just hide it. The chimera never seemed to like feeling the least bit vulnerable. That twinge of uncertainty was his only weakness. Maybe that's why he's so obsessed with power.
The opportunity to speak presented itself when they walked past an impressive patch of tall, crimson flowers. Amelia happily dropped to her knees before them. "Look at these flowers, Mister Zelgadis," she chirped in delight.
He simply turned around to stare at her in curiosity.
"I've never seen flowers like this before," the princess informed him as she plucked one from the ground. She held it close for examination, inhaling its soft scent, noting the bright colour, like a starfish on a rod of green.
He was jealous of the smile the flowers brought to her face. His thoughts were interrupted as she leaned over to pick one of the small white flowers that accompanied the more dominant red ones. "Amelia!" he called, a bit too frantically for the situation.
She looked up, alarmed, her arm hanging in dead space.
Zelgadis blushed. "Uhm. Those flowers, they 'bleed.' A reddish fluid will start running if you pick it."
"oh," she mouthed quietly, with a touch of disappointment. She stood up with her new crimson flower, and forced a smile. "Gee, Mister Zelgadis, I didn't think you'd know about flowers, too."
His face got a more vibrant shade of violet, and all he could force out was an "Uhm... yeah."

If Zelgadis heard her sigh, he did not acknowledge it. He had to hear that, Amelia thought to herself after he ignored her small attempt to draw him out. There's no way he couldn't hear it. There is no sound! She rolled her eyes. He'd make a great mime. She sighed once again, this time genuinely. I wish I could understand what's going on inside your head, Mister Zelgadis. I know you're nervous, and I know why you think you should be, but I wish I could understand it. Amelia felt herself melt a little as the silence furthered the rift between them.
Sure, he's made of stone, but he's not bad looking. She found herself analyzing how he looked earlier in the day, when he was actually facing her. The picture of him shirtless was somehow frozen in her mind, even though he was still walking in front of her in the same state. He looks so different with all of his clothes on. She looked down at the turtleneck and cape in her hands. All his clothes are made of such heavy material. They really build him up. She noted how thin he was, how much narrower his shoulders seemed without triple layers of fabric covering them. He actually looks a lot broader from the back. He almost looked like a puzzle that did not quite fit together, with decent shoulders, but with thinner arms and a slender torso that did not belong together. It didn't seem quite right, but it made for a very unique composition. She could not take her eyes off his back as he moved, watching his skin move with his muscles, hard stone angles changing with such fluid motion. He looks.. interesting. She embraced the warm feeling that spread across her cheeks. He's always looked interesting.
Then she realized what it was, and why he looked so much broader from the the back. He's slouching. And indeed, ever so slightly, his shoulders were pulled forward, making his chest concave. The sight bothered her. He never slouches. But he's been doing it all day, hasn't he? She tightened her grip on his clothing, hugging it, smelling the soft scent of the dust of ages that he carried with him everywhere. She wondered what he had been thinking about while she was away, and if he had really lessened his burden in their absense. If his body was telling her anything, it was that he was carrying more weight on his stone shoulders.
After a small eternity of walking, they arrived at a lake surrounded by rocks and some shrubbery. As if realizing for the first time that they would be bathing in the same area together, they stared blankly at each other. Clamping a fang down on a stone fingernail, Zelgadis asked, "So now what?"
Amelia's face turned red as she looked for an answer. "Oh, over there!" she hurriedly pointed out a place where the forest had overtaken the edge of the water. "Some of those branches are hanging into the lake. If we go over there, we can each have a side."
"Sounds plausible," the chimera commented with a shrug, then headed towards the divider.
Amelia made sure her companion was safely on his side of the divider before relaxing. As the princess let the bundle of towels and clothes fall to the grass, she wondered aloud, "How come I ended up carrying all of this anyway?"
His voice carried well despite the foliage separating them. "I wasn't expecting you to come with me, and since I didn't have to go back to the temple for my clothes, I forgot to go back in and wash the dirt off my hands." The answer surprised her, mainly because she thought she had spoken inaudibly; she had forgotten how strong his sense of hearing was.
It made her hesitate to undress. That's silly, Amelia, she scolded herself. It doesn't matter if he can hear you while you're naked. It's his ears that are sensitive, not his eyes. Still, her hands refused to unhook her cape. Almost unconsciously, she began to stare into the thick wall of hanging branches, inspecting their effectiveness as a curtain. It seemed perfect. Still nervous, she inquired through the veil of green, "You can't see me, can you, Mister Zelgadis?"
The chimera was taken aback by the question, having been innocently relaxing in the water. "I hadn't tried to look," he answered, calmly enough.
"Well, you couldn't see me if you tried, right?" she questioned. "I mean, you can't see through walls or anything, can you?" Red creeped up into her cheeks, and the princess was instantly mortified.
Although quietly, he laughed aloud. "You really don't have to be that nervous, Amelia."
"I.. I'm sorry!" she stammered. "It was a silly question. I really wasn't thinking! I..."
"It's alright, Amelia," he reassured her. "I can't see through solid objects. More importantly, I've got too much pride to try to see you naked, so relax."
"R..Right!" she agreed, feeling pathetic as she slid her clothes off and slipped into the water.
The stillness of her surroundings opened her mind to some more complex thoughts as she lathered up a washcloth with a bit of soap. A gentle breeze ruffled her bangs and the leaves alike, and made her shiver despite the water's warmth. The peacefulness was very nice, but it made her feel very alone. Very quietly, she asked "Can you hear me, Mister Zelgadis?"
In contrast to her volume, he was obviously projecting his voice so she could hear. "I can when you talk, if that's what you mean. I really can't otherwise."
"I just meant talking," she clarified.
"Then, yes, I can hear you."
Amelia was feeling rather proud of herself for having closed the communication gap. That is, until the dead silence walled itself between them again. The princess sweatdropped. Then she got self conscious. Maybe he doesn't want to talk to me... She shook her head vigourously, trying to erase the thought. That can't be it, I didn't do anything wrong. But why doesn't he ever say anything? Finally, the thought dawned on her to just ask. "Mister Zelgadis?" she called softly.
The first syllable out of his mouth was a curious "hm?" It was immediately replaced by "What is it, Amelia?" when he realized she probably could not hear him.
She paused, considering whether she should ask or not. It is, after all, a very personal question. But if he and I are... She settled down into the water until it just touched her chin. She wanted to hide away. Looking at her wavy reflection, she wondered just what he saw when he looked at her.
"Amelia?" his voice was subdued. It almost had a caring tone to it.
Maybe I'm the one projecting... She cleared her throat. "You don't like to talk, do you, Mister Zelgadis?"
His eyes widened a moment as he stared at nothing before focusing on his reflection in the water. He tried to imagine his human form staring back at him, as he had done hundreds of times in the past weeks. But he could not. Not while Amelia was talking to him, and he was sure that he could not in the presence of Gourry and Lina. He only saw the blue stone he detested, sharp, silver hair, and thin demonic eyes. Without even making a conscious decision to, he slammed his hand into the water to disrupt the unwelcome image.
"Mister Zelgadis?"
The chimera closed his eyes tightly, and exhaled a few tight breaths, trying to rid himself of the self hate. His mantra died before he could repeat it; it could not stand up to the evidence before his eyes. It was a burning pain in his chest. That was the best he could describe it to himself as he covered his face with his hands and let the weeks of self reassurance just die.
The silence had become tense, like it was trying to strangle her. Amelia shivered and wished she could see beyond the barrier. It was not like Zelgadis to delay an answer. "I... I'm sorry, Mister Zelgadis. I just..." The words fell short. She did not know what to say. He had been feeling vulnerable, and she made it worse. An apology was not what he needed.
Amelia tried her best to sit up straight. With precise and careful articulation, she told him "You can tell me anything, Zelgadis. I really don't mind, and I really won't judge you on it. I only asked because I want to help."
He could not even lift his head from his hands. "I just want to be human, Amelia. As soon as possible. I just want this cure to work." The words were sticking in his throat, and when they ended, he had a hard time inhaling. He had to force his concentration to make sure breathing did not turn to sobbing.
When a hand touched his bare shoulder, he nearly jumped out of his stone skin, but managed to keep himself submerged. He whipped around like a flash to see a sopping wet Amelia, fully clothed and completely unnerved with her hand occupying the space he had been in. Despite the pounding of her heart, she found herself reading his face as he calmed. His lone wide eye showed confusion, but underneath that, sadness. Not that it was not always there; she had never seen him without a hint of it there, even when smiling. Her comforting voice became detached from shock. "I.. was going to say... I know that this cure will work.... I can feel it... zelgadis."
Zelgadis could not help but stare blankly at the drenched embodiment of optimism that stood before him. He was amazed at how things always seemed true when she said them, no matter how impossible they seemed. Coming over here was a rather nice gesture as well. He averted his gaze to the water again, not wanting to hold eye contact. "Uhm, Amelia?"
"Yes, Mister Zelgadis?" she eagerly replied.
"Could you turn around while I put on some clothes?"

Somewhere out of earshot, Xelloss was laughing aloud.

Stone was turning to glass, and starting to crack under stress.

Amelia decided to keep fair distance and high optimism.

If anything had changed, Lina did not notice upon her return. Zelgadis was still isolating himself as much as possible, Amelia was trying her best to give him space, and Daubrik was avoiding Amelia like the plague simply because she was a girl. All in all, things were looking pretty up.
Lina met up with Zelgadis as he was watering seeds. He was going about it the hard way, with two buckets of water that constantly needed refilling. The redhead grinned and waved a finger at him. "You know, that would be a lot easier if you used Aqua Create."
The chimera paid her no attention as he carefully spilled water across a row of small sprouts. "I haven't learned it yet," he informed her.
"And you're our resident shamanist?" she teased.
He looked up at her in fake disbelief. "If I need water, I'll just cast an ice spell. Besides, I like--"
"--the work because it keeps me away from Amelia," the sorceress finished for him.
"I wasn't going to say that," he corrected.
Lina exclaimed knowingly, "But you thought it, and that's what really counts."
"I suppose you're right," the chimera agreed. "After all, you never say a word to Gourry, but you two have really hit it off."
"Zel," she threatened as she glowered at him.
He took a step back, just in case she decided to throw a spell his way. "Hey now. You're the one who brought it up."
Her clenched fist was shaking from the tension. "I should cream you for that," she insisted, but, in an amazing display of self control, she let her arm drop as she calmed herself. "However," she declared, "I'm not going to hit you. I'm going to wait four days."
Zelgadis cracked a smile.
Lina followed up with one of her own. "Because then it'll actually hurt you."


Tsuzuku...

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