Deeper than Crying

                                                                                                by Elsandra  2004

Disclaimer:  I don't own them, I just play with them then put them back  They're owned by Warner Brothers and were created by John Wells and Ed Bernero.  Some of the dialogs used  in this story were taken from the episodes "The Price of Nobility" and  "The Truth and Other Lies" written by Edward Bernero and "My Opening Farewell" written by Scott Williams.

Liz Magnuson is an original character created by the author and cannot be used without permission.

Neither wants to be the one to say goodbye

And neither wants to be the one who's left to cry…

            ~Alison Krauss +Union Station

            ~Written by Mark Simos

            A headache was just starting to form behind his temples as Sully left roll call.  He headed towards the front desk while Ty hurried off to get some equipment.  He was startled when he heard Ty call, "Sully!"

            His partner threw him a flashlight which he deftly caught.  His voice and face registered his surprise of seeing Yokas behind the counter as he said, "What the hell are you doing on the front desk today?"

            Faith shuffled papers as she looked at him.  "Oh, I'm sort of a floater right now, I'm looking for a new regular partner."  At his frown she added, "But I'll be back on the street as soon as possible."

            *Five Five Charlie*

            "Don't I get to read the paper or take a dump?" groused Sully before he grabbed his portable.  "Charlie."

            *Charlie, take a multiple vehicle traffic accident at Martin Luther King to one seven three.  Plain clothes officers are on scene with EMS and FDNY responding*

            Sully scowled.  "Faith, what the hell are plain clothes officers doing on the scene?"

            Turning from where she was putting some files back on a shelf, Faith answered, "There was a chase while you were in roll call, anti crime. Apparently they were no longer chasing when the accident occurred."

            Snorting, Sully grumbled, "Yeah, right."  As he turned to leave he acknowledged the call, "Five Five Charlie, King and one seven three, 10-4."

            He went out the door, his mood turning fouler with every step he took.

            Walsh and DK were putting equipment away on the engine with the others when Lt. Johnson came out of the bay.  "Attention, Ladies!"

            "Easy, Boss," replied Alex, "These are no ladies."

            "My apologies to you actual ladies," Johnson stated, causing some of the crew to snicker.  Johnson continued his announcement, "Out of over twelve hundred paramedics in our fair city, twelve have been selected for promotion .  For the third year in a row, number one on the list-" 

            He pointed to Doc standing behind him as the crew called out, "Doc Parker!"

            Walsh had paused in putting away a multi purpose hook to come stand behind Kim and Alex.  DK joined them as Lt. Johnson continued his speech.

            "But wait, wait, wait!"  Raising his hand to make his point, Johnson went on.  "There's a first timer coming in at number thirteen. An alternate in case some of the other twelve don't accept, none other than Kim Zambrano!"

            Kim looked up from the form she was signing on a clipboard Carlos was holding.  "What?"

            The others cried out their congratulations as DK reached over to pat Kim on the back.  Walsh watched as Alex gave her a quick squeeze.  The whole crew was smiling, including Lt. Johnson.

            The loud speaker activated.  *Squad five five, Adam and Boy five five three, multiple vehicle accident with injuries and a fire at Martin Luther King and One Seven Three*

            Everyone started scrambling to put the equipment away before they headed out.  Walsh came walking back to the engine as Lt. Johnson said to Alex, "Taylor, you're on the bus."

            At her look of disbelief  he added, "You're riding with number one over here."

            "Why is it always me?" groaned Alex.

            "Because you're the one with the delicate touch, little lady," Walsh quipped as he passed her, patting her on the back.  In return she swatted him in the arm.  He hurried around the engine to climb aboard.

            Sully's headache wasn't getting any better because of the siren wailing as they headed to the accident scene.  Ty was driving so Sully got a good look before they climbed out of the squad.  Sully groaned.  "We're the paper car on this?"

            "That's what they said."  He and Ty headed over to Bosco to be briefed.

            "Hey, Sully, the worst is a guy pinned under the Bronco over there," Bosco said as he pointed to his far right.

            Giving Bosco a hard look, Sully growled, "Was this a chase?"

            Bosco tried to look innocent.  "It wasn't by the time the accident happened."

            Sully's frown deepened.  "At least not officially."

            Starting to walk away, Bosco called over his shoulder, "It's a long story."

            "And I'm the one who's gotta write it up!" Sully exclaimed before he moved off to start gathering info on the injured.

            A short time later he saw a bus pull up and Doc climb out.  He called out to the paramedic. "Davis is with a guy who is pinned under this SUV over here," he pointed to his right, "He's drifting in and out of consciousness."

            Kim and Carlos had rushed up just in time to hear him.  "We'll take that," Kim stated before they hurried off.

            Sully pointed to another vehicle.  "The  flipped over car has got a guy in it whose got some windshield in his face, some glass in his eyes, but basically he's okay.  There's an elderly couple in a Lincoln on the other side of the black Chevy-" Alex joined them, handing Doc a bag of equipment as they started walking, "-they've got some minor cuts and bleeding but they're gonna need some extrication as soon as your guys can put out that car fire."

            "Our guys?" grumbled Alex as she pushed between them, shooting Doc a look before hurrying away.

            "Hello to you too!" shot back Sully.

            Doc tried to smooth things over. "She doesn't want to be on the bus," he stated as he walked away.

            Frowning, Sully stated, "Well, I don't want to write up a six car accident but we all have our crosses, right?"

            He ambled over to watch Kim and Carlos treat the guy under the SUV.

            As the engine pulled up, DK gave out a low whistle at the sight before them.  Lt. Johnson started giving orders the minute his feet hit the ground.  "Ramsey, Walsh, get the hose, put some water on that Chevy."

            DK saw him look around before the lieutenant pointed at Alex who was perched on the trunk of the burning car.  "Taylor, get off that car!"  Lt. Johnson glanced at DK.  "DK, Jericho, check this guy out who's pinned.  Tell me what we need."

            Shaking his head at the mess, DK headed over to Kim and Carlos with Jericho to figure out how to get the poor bastard out.

            Walsh was watching Ramsey trying to open the hood of the black Chevy.  "You can't open a hood?"

            Ramsey grunted.  "I can't get ahold of the damn latch!"

            "And you're supposed to help me change my oil this weekend?" teased Walsh as he waited, nozzle at the ready for when the hood was up.  Ramsey just shot him a look before trying again.

            DK was getting the airbags ready for inflation when the guy pinned under the SUV stated he was cold.

            "You're cold?"  Carlos bent over the guy.  "We'll get you out of here any second."

            DK heard Lt. Johnson call out, "Carlos."  He looked up to see the lieutenant hand the paramedic his turnout coat before asking, "All set, guys?"

            "Looks good," DK replied, looking up at his boss then back at the bags.

            "We're ready," added Kim.

            "Alright, DK, let her rip."

            Starting the pump, DK listened to the hiss as the bags rose followed by the groaning metal of the car.  "Alright, he's clear!" hollered Carlos.  "Ready, one, two, three!" he counted before Kim and he pulled the guy onto a backboard.

            As he was making sure the victim was completely clear, DK heard Lt. Johnson mutter, "Dammit" before he called out, "Taylor, didn't I tell you to get down from there?  Get down now!"

            Alex's reply was, "I'm alright, I'm alright!"

            "The hell you are!" 

            "I'm still working on this couple!"

            "I'm not going to tell you again!"

            DK had busied himself with getting the equipment together when something exploded nearby.  Everyone took cover, ducking down on the pavement.  As chaos reigned, DK could hear the screams of pain and fear everywhere.

            Sully was helping Doc with a patient when the explosion happened.  He ducked down, covering his face from the blast so he only heard a thump nearby then screaming.  He looked over to see Lt. Johnson on the ground, writhing and screaming, as his clothes burned on his body.  Doc and Sully rushed to the lieutenant's side, trying to put out the flames.

            Once the flames were out Doc started treating Johnson.  He was calling out for Alex when DK joined them while Sully carried a medic bag over to the paramedic.  "I need my partner!" Doc yelled.

"She's probably helping somebody," stated Sully as he crouched down.  "Tell me what to do."

            "Go in the back of the bus, alright, and get me a burn kit."  Sully started hurrying away as he heard Doc call out, "Bottom cabinet on the left!"

            Reaching the bus, Sully paused to get his bearings before he pulled open the doors.  He hoisted himself onto the bumper, looking to his left for the cabinet Doc said the kit was in.  He opened the door, finding what he needed on the first try.  He hurried back over to Doc and DK.  "This it?"

            "Yeah, yeah."  Doc motioned to him, "Give me the c-collar, take the blanket out."

            As Sully was opening the burn kit he saw DK was trying to cradle Johnson's head in his hands.  The lieutenant was moaning about how bad it hurt, thrashing around in pain.

            "You seen Taylor?" Doc asked him.

            Shaking his head as he unfolded the blanket, Sully answered, "Doc, there's a lot going on on the other side.  They're still trying to get the fire out."

            "I bet I know where she is," Doc stated as they continued treating Lt. Johnson.

Walsh wasn't completely sure what had happened.  Ramsey had finally gotten the latch unhooked and pushed up the hood, causing them to be hit with a blast of heat that made them both dive to the side.  As they reeled away from the car it exploded, almost knocking them off their feet.  Walsh could hear everyone yelling but he concentrated on turning on the nozzle, putting water on the car burning in front of him, Ramsey holding the hose for him.  They didn't have the time to worry about their coworkers just then.

            DK felt like he was in the middle of a nightmare as he helped Doc treat Lt. Johnson.  Lieu was delirious with pain and, no matter how gently DK touched him, he screamed in agony.  They had finished strapping him to a back board with Sully holding the IV when Carlos went by.

            "Carlos!" Doc called.

            "I need to get this guy with the crushed leg moving, Doc," Carlos answered, not stopping.

            "Is Taylor working with you?"

            DK saw Carlos stop dead in his tracks. "What?"

            "Taylor.  I don't know where she is."  

            His stomach clenching at the look on Carlos' face, DK watched as Carlos answered, "Doc, you don't-"

            "What?" Doc interrupted.

            Carlos struggled, "Doc, she's…uh…"

            "What?  Did you give her CPR?"

            "Doc, she's-"

            "Did you clear her airway?"

            "She's gone!"

            "What are her vitals?"

            "She's gone!"

            "What are her vitals?" screamed Doc in disbelief.

            "Sorry."  Carlos swallowed hard.

            "Breathing, bleeding, airway…"

            "There was nothing to be done," Carlos stated quietly.

            DK felt his heart stop at Carlos' words.  He grimaced in pain before bowing his head, not wanting to believe what he had just heard.  He heard Sully call out, "Doc! Doc!  We got to get the lieutenant to the hospital."

            He looked up as Doc joined them again.  DK helped lift the lieutenant onto the stretcher but the motions were automatic, his mind had gone numb.  As they rushed the stretcher towards the waiting ambulance he saw Walsh off to the side so he called out, "Billy!"

            He barely registered the look of shock on Walsh's face as they lifted the stretcher with its precious cargo inside.  He heard Doc yell, "Walsh, I need you to drive.  DK, get in the back with me."

            Doing as he was ordered, DK clambered up into the back of the ambulance.  He vaguely heard the front doors of the bus open and shut as he followed Doc's commands.  When the back doors banged shut it felt like the door to his heart slammed shut with them.

            Sully tried really hard to keep his eyes from looking at the gurney in front of him.  He'd wanted to give Alex a proper escort and Kim needed a ride to Alex's mom's house so he'd told Ty to take her in the rmp while he went in the ambulance to the hospital.  Now, with the smell of blood in the air and the bright red stain on the sheet, Sully almost wished he'd gone with Ty. Almost.

            That the body of someone he considered a friend was under the sheet in front of him was just one more hurt Sully had to store in his heart.  He and Alex had shared a few alone moments since he'd met her, many of them when they felt like outsiders to what was going on at the moment.  He remembered when she'd played elf to his Santa the day he took Stan's toys to the YMCA after Doherty's wedding.  She'd gotten along so well with the kids and he'd enjoyed watching her, she was almost a kid herself that day.  The good feelings had carried over to the wedding reception where he'd managed to get her to dance a slow one with him which she reciprocated by getting him to boogie to a fast song later. Now Alex wouldn't dance again.

            The adrenaline from the aftermath of the explosion was wearing off and Sully's headache was returning.  He was glad they were going in Code Two, lights only, because the siren would have only made it worse.  He looked to the front of the of the bus where two firefighters were driving, two he wasn't familiar with.  Carlos was in the back with him, sitting in the jump seat, also avoiding looking at the gurney.  Sully wanted to say something to Carlos but he knew there was nothing he could say, nothing to change what had happened. 

            Walsh tried to force himself to focus on the road ahead of him, not on what was  happening behind him.  He knew they were all counting on him to get to the hospital fast but safely and he was doing his damnedest to deliver. He let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding when he pulled up to the hospital.

            Ramsey had also come along and he rushed around back to pull open the doors.  DK and Doc jumped out, pulling out the stretcher, as Walsh joined them.  They turned the stretcher towards the doors before starting their mad dash inside, the lieutenant going in head first.  Walsh was startled when Lt. Johnson grabbed his hand but Walsh didn't let go the whole way in.

            "Forty-eight year old male with probable full thickness burns over face, hands, and chest," called out Doc.  "BP 134 over 92, we've got sixteen megs on board…"

            Walsh tuned Doc out, concentrating on the hand gripping his.  When they were in the treatment cubicle he helped lift Lt. Johnson onto the treatment table.  It was only when a nurse pushed her way in between him and the table that Walsh let go of Lt. Johnson's hand.  He walked out with DK and Ramsey, turning around as the door slid shut.  He raised his hand to the glass, wanting to feel that grip on it again.

            Doc looked at them standing there before something behind them caught his attention.  They all turned to see another stretcher coming in, accompanied by Nieto, another paramedic, two firefighters, and Sullivan.  As the gurney was wheeled by them they could see the bright crimson stain of blood soaking through the sheet which covered Taylor's body.

            Walsh watched them take her away through another door as the hurt started burrowing down deep inside him. He heard Doc ask, "Where's Kim?"

            Ramsey answered, "Davis took her to notify Taylor's mother."

            Before the door closed Sully turned towards them, his look of sadness echoing what they were feeling. Walsh watched the door close slowly after Sully followed their fallen comrade.