Wolf Speaker

Disclaimer: ooooooh. fluffy wolves. tasty.

'Dango- this is a stupid disclaimer

Mikki- shut up, I'm hungry.

One day there was a girl called daine. She could talk to animals. She has her own kids t.v. show.

And daine was all like "Krakens are my friends."

And then Mikki was like "Awww, this is a stupid book, couldn't we just skip to the next one?"

And 'Dango was like "No, that would be lazy."

And Mikki was like "But there's no plot! We can't write a parody on a story with no plot!"

And daine was like "Shut up! This is my story, not yours!"
And Mikki and 'Danger were like "We're, like, the all-powerful authors. You must do our bidding."

And Daine was all like "No!"

Suddently Daine lost a leg and got stuck as a female dog.

And Numair was like "Come here, you sexy three-legged bitch."

And Mikki was like "Maybe we should make Numair less of a ass, people actually like Numair."

And Jon was all like "hey! I resent that implication."

And then Daine turned into a wolf and screwed the pack.

And Rikash was all like "stop that squirrel!"

And Maura was like "Come back, my love!"

And Rikash was like "We can't be lovers, Jerry Springer hasn't been invented yet!" So then he went off and screwed Maura's real father, Zaneth Bitterclaws instead.

And 'Dango was like "Isn't she a chick?"

And Mikki was like "Shut up, 'Dango. The readers are stupid, they don't know."

And the reader ran after them with torches and pitchforks.

And 'Dango was like "Shouldn't we be writing stuff that has to do with the story?"

And Mikki was like "This version is way more interesting then the book actually was."

And Jon was like "Support the animal lobby!"

And Numair was like "Daine, I wrote something for you:

Roses are Red, Violets are Not

I think your ass is really-"

"Stormwings!!!!!!!!!" Daine shouted.

And Numair was like "Where?"
And Daine was like "No where. You may be an all powerful- God's Blessed Mage, but you can't write poetry to save your life."

And so Numair went off to screw a court lady.

And Varice was like "YAY!!!!"

And Daine growled at her and ate her limbs. However, thanks to the miracle of modern science they managed to glue them back on.

And then Mikki and 'Dango decided that this story was really bad and not going to improve so they shot themselves.

The end.