Howdy, thanks so much for reviewing and liking my story. I'm apologizing for typos if you find them. I just really wanted to get this chapter to you. Hope you like it. ~ * ~* ~ * ~ *

Part 4: Thought's and Feelings

Buffy slept in her bed, it should have been more comfortable than the cot she had been sleeping on in the hospital, but it wasn't. Maybe it was because she was scared to be away from him for the first time since he was back, maybe it was because it was ten in the morning. All she knew was she couldn't sleep.

She would nod off, then she would wake up with a start; afraid something was happening and she wasn't there. It was tearing her apart she wanted so badly to be with him, but she really need sleep

She had gotten what she wished for; he was no longer in a coma. . He had woken up two days ago and told her she wasn't really. It had broken her heart and convinced her something was truly wrong.

Now she was going to have to be there for him, she wanted to be there now. She prayed that his mind and body would heal and he would be well. She had the sinking suspicion that it was going to be a long time before he was better.

///*///*///*///*///*///

Willow had finally convinced Buffy to come home. She had sent Buffy straight to bed and was now reading a magazine waiting for her hot water to boil. It had been hard getting Buffy away from Spike's side but she'd been there for days and she need to come home and sleep in her own bed for awhile.

Willow sat flipping the pages of People reflecting of the events of the past week. She could hardly believe Spike had turned her and her extended families lives upside down, again. She remembered the first time she had met the charming hell raiser. She had been wary of him getting involved with Buffy. If there was one thing Buffy had bad luck with it was relationships, but as they had gotten to know each other, Willow saw the love William had for Elizabeth. Their wedding had been beautiful. Willow was the maid of honor every thing was so pretty. Her dress was burgundy and Buffy looked gorgeous in her satin eggshell full length gown. Spike wore his dress uniform and made all the girls swoon. Because they had become such good friends Buffy asked Rupert to give her away. It was a magical day for everyone, even broody Angel had a good time, and Dawn was just ecstatic.

Willow was shocked from her musings by the kettle's howl. She didn't really want to recall the next part of the story any way. It only made her sad to think of all the Time Buffy and Spike had been kept apart. And she had spent all week thinking about the new challenges facing the couple.

///*///*///*///*///*///

Xander couldn't afford for his thoughts to be else where. Work was his only concern at the moment; thought his mind kept drifting to thought's of what would happen after work or what he was missing by being at work and not at the hospital. Xander tried to push all the worse case scenario out of his head and focus on all the blue prints and plans that where being thrown at him. After work he knew he'd be at the hospital all night, shuttling people back and forth, and getting food. Just a few more hours till it was quitting time and he could get back to what he really needed to be doing.

///*///*///*///*///*///

Dawn sat in math class not hearing anything that was happening around her. Her mind was focused on getting through the day and getting back to the hospital. She hadn't seen Spike again since she saw him that first day.

She had been scared of seeing him as she, Willow, and Xander had gotten close to his room. Hearing what was wrong with him didn't help. She followed behind Willow and Xander as they went in and heard them gasp before she had the courage to look at the bed.

When she finally did she lost all fear. It was Spike, even though he was skinny and staring, it was Spike. She had stood there transfixed to the spot she was paralyzed with joy, till some one, Willow, she guessed, took her out of the room. Dawn hadn't been aware that she had large tears rolling down her cheeks. She had tried to explain that she wasn't upset, just happy, but they still hadn't let her back into see him, like she was a baby.

Finally the bell rang and Dawn headed out of math and started off to French. It was going to be a long day.

///*///*///*///*///*///

Rupert sat in his hotel room. Angel had told him to go and sleep, but sleep just wasn't coming. This wasn't where he wanted to be, be wanted to be with his sons. Still he needed time to rest, this week had been exhausting and emotionally draining and it wasn't even over yet. What would tomorrow bring? Rupert didn't want to think about it, he rolled his glass of scotch in his hand and thanked God or who ever had sent his son back to him for the miracle.

Rupert sent his glasses and scotch on the night stand and lay down. He knew the time for him to be back at the hospital would come too soon, but he felt it couldn't come soon enough.

///*///*///*///*///*///

Angel sat hunched over in the chair beside William's bed. His head rested in his hands as his little brother slept. Angel had been in a numb sort of daze the past year and a half. He had accepted that his brother was gone, like he had had to except that their mother was gone. It all hit him hard but he didn't want to show it, not to their father or Buffy.

Now they were both away; he finally had time to examine all the feelings he was having. "I missed you, you know." Angel watched the gentle raise and fall of William's stomach.

"I thought you were gone, for good, this time." But Angel felt he should have known Spike wasn't dead, Spike always came back. He always came back. Spike had run away so many times but he never stayed gone, he would always show up sooner or later.

Angel had thought that William wasn't coming home after he and Rupert had their last huge falling out about Will's life style and dangerous job. But after awhile he met Buffy and came back.

"What did they do to you?"

Angel wasn't a praying man but something inside him felt William could use another prayer, he must have used up all of his.

///*///*///*///*///*///

"You're sure he's not going to regain his sanity?" Agent Forrest addressed Agent Finn in a dark corner of the hospital.

"Nurse Walsh has assured me that he's far beyond help. Our Friend Agent Giles is gone." Agent Finn spoke in a hushed voice.

"Good, you better keep it that way, this is a life or death matter Finn and I'll make sure it's your ass and not mine."

///*///*///*///*///*///

Spike was dreaming about people, places, and things he couldn't remember. They were from his life, before. It was strange to him that he should recall these thoughts and feelings, they felt like they were some one else's memorizes. Tainting theses dreams of another life was a darkness that swam at the edges of his thoughts. It reminded him of the fear and uncertainty waiting for him in the waking world.

All he wanted to do was slip back into that peaceful darkness and not be troubled by the world. Something else inside of him told him that this was not the time to hide; it was now that he should be fighting. Something was different, happening, things had changed.

For now he slept, holding back the darkness, regaining his strength, if not his lucidity, and waiting for the sedative to ware off.

To be continued.....