Every Time
Chapter Two: Learnt
A/N: Well, I guess fourteen good reviews to one bad is a good enough reason to continue. To that reviewer, I'd just like to say that you wasted your time. If you don't like this, don't read it.
To everyone else who reviewed, thank you very much! I even got a couple of the best writers I know reviewing, so I'm happy. I hope you all review again!
And a question to the reviewer called "K"... could you tell me more about that song "Invisible"? I'd love to hear it, but I've never heard of it. If you could tell me, either in a review or via email, I'd be very grateful.
Finally, this may not be updated for another couple of weeks, 'cause I have two weeks of exams. Wish me luck! And as always, read, enjoy and review!
*~*~*
Chandler sat in the barcalounger; his bright eyes the only light in the pitch-black surroundings. Joey's snores could be heard coming from his bedroom, as he slept untroubled. He didn't have the burden that Chandler had, of being in love with an unattainable woman.
Joey went from woman to woman, never really stopping to think about how he could have felt about them. For Joey, it was all about the sex. And of course, if for Joey it was all about sex, that meant that for Chandler, it was all about having to hear the sex. He tried to shut his ears, he tried to listen to his personal stereo, turning it up as loud as possible.... but it always beat through his defences, serving a constant reminder of Joey's guilt free "relationships", and causing a constant pang because Joey was happy and he wasn't.
It was all quiet tonight, though. Joey's girlfriend of six months (probably a record for him, Chandler thought, his bitterness getting the better of him), Kathy, was out of town for the week, so no animal passion tonight. Chandler was extremely grateful, since he desperately needed time to think.
Monica didn't want to be with Pete anymore. She said she still did, but it was obvious what she meant. She just didn't want to admit to herself. Which was totally understandable. Both Chandler and Monica had been there as Ross' marriage had failed, and seen what it had done to him. Monica didn't want that to happen to her, and Chandler didn't want it to happen to her either. Of course, Pete wasn't going to turn into a lesbian, but that wasn't the point.
The point was: what was Chandler going to do?
And then there was the others: Ross and Rachel happy, Joey and Kathy happy, even Phoebe had someone at the moment. Chandler would walk into the coffeehouse and see four happy couples on the sofa and chairs, all kissing and cuddling, leaving no room for him. He didn't want them to hate him, so he just slipped quietly out before they saw him. He didn't fit in; he was like a penguin in the desert, or a scorpion at the North Pole. He wasn't in the group any more, and all because he was alone while the others weren't.
*~*~*
Chandler stopped outside the window of the coffeehouse and bent down, peering in through the glass.
Good. Only Ross and Phoebe were in there. No happy couples for him to contend with today.
He pushed open the door and Ross and Phoebe looked around. "Hello, children," he said, putting on his usual front of normality.
"Hey," said Ross, turning back to the magazine he was reading.
"Hey, Chandler," said Phoebe cheerfully. "Where you been?" she asked.
Chandler frowned. "At work," he said slowly.
Phoebe clicked her fingers. "Right! I knew that!" she smiled, and Chandler shook his head in disbelief, but not managing to stop himself smiling.
"Where's Rachel?" Chandler said to Ross.
"What?" said Ross, looking up. "Oh, she's gone shopping with Mon. Yeah, they went to... blow all their hard earned money on clothes they don't need. But at least I'm not paying!"
Chandler smiled. "What about Pete?" he asked, a hint of his bitterness entering his voice.
"Oh, he went to Boston. Apparently there's some kind of big opportunity, but he won't tell anyone about it until it's confirmed. Says it's really big," said Ross, sipping his coffee. "Uh, this is cold! I'm gonna warm it up." He walked away.
Immediately, Phoebe jumped onto the couch next to Chandler. "Chandler, what is wrong with you?" she asked worriedly.
Chandler stared at her. "What? Nothing's wrong."
Phoebe scoffed. "Please, Chandler, I can tell that something is wrong. You've been like this for months. Now what is it?" she asked, staring at him intently.
Chandler slapped her hand away from his shoulder. "Nothing is wrong. Now leave me alone," he said, grabbing his briefcase back from the table and walking out.
He swung open the door and turned right, banging right into someone. He heard shopping bags fall to the floor, and bent down to help the person.
"I'm sor...." he started, but then he saw his hand was touching hers, and he looked up to see Monica looking at him. "Monica!" he exclaimed, his breathing quickening. He tried to speak, but he just stared at her. She looked back, but didn't see the love that filled his eyes.
Monica looked down at her bags. "That's okay," she said, moving her hand away from his and starting to gather her bags up again. She stood up. "Are you coming in?" she asked, indicating the coffeehouse.
Chandler suddenly found his voice. "No- no, I was just leaving. I'll- I'll see you later, okay?"
Monica smiled. "Yeah. Hey, are we still on for tonight?" she asked, starting to push open the door.
"Yeah, I wouldn't miss it for the world. 8, right?"
"Right."
Monica smiled again and walked into the coffeehouse. Chandler stood silent for a second, and then walked off down the street. As he rounded the corner, he felt someone hit him on the shoulder. "Who...Phoebe! What are you doing?!"
Phoebe stared at him incredulously. "You're in love with Monica!" she exclaimed in disbelief.
Chandler's eyes widened in alarm. "What?!" he yelled. "What the hell are you talking about?!"
Phoebe looked at him scornfully. "Oh please, it was so obvious! Why did your breath speed up by five times just then? Why did you loose the power of speech? Why are you always so miserable? You're in love with Monica!" she shouted.
Chandler put his hand over her mouth. "Shut up!" he hissed. "She's only around the corner!"
Phoebe slapped his arm away. "So you admit it! You are! But that's wrong.... she's married, Chandler."
Chandler pulled Phoebe away from the shop they were outside and sat her down on a bench. "You don't think I know that? I'm the one who has to sit there watching them every day, all lovey-dovey...."
Phoebe turned his head to hers. "Look, there's nothing wrong with being in love, Chandler. It's just... you know you can't have her, Chandler?"
Chandler groaned. "Of course I know that. That's the problem. If I could have her, I'd be much happier. But I can't."
Phoebe smiled. "How long?" she asked quietly, rubbing his hand in sympathy.
Chandler looked down. "I'm not sure. Eight months, maybe nine. It just... it jsut hurts so bad, Phoebe, and I don't know what to do."
Phoebe considered. "Neither do I," she said. "Come on, let's go home."
And she walked him home, her arm around him, letting him sob into her shoulder.
*~*~*
Monica sat in silence, letting Ross and Rachel's comments wash over her. Her hair lay on the back of the chair, her shopping bags spread on the floor around her. The busy chatter of the coffeehouse was a quiet backdrop to her thoughts, which were trying desperately to make sense of themselves.
What the hell had happened out there?
One minute, she's exhausted from coming back from a day of shopping, the next... all her thoughts swam around her head, trying to fit themselves into some kind of order. A spark? With Chandler?
She'd never had a spark with Chandler. He was her confidant, nothing more. She'd told him so. She'd even told him her biggest secret. She was bored with Pete. It was true; she was. It wasn't that he was horrible to her, he just got a little too wrapped up in business, and didn't pay her enough attention. She thought she still loved him, but she couldn't be sure. And now this spark with Chandler.... well, it didn't make any sense. It was unthinkable.
She put it out of her mind and drank her coffee, soon wrapped up in a discussion with Rachel about shopping, which Ross said was a complete waste of money. But it still hung over her, and she knew it wouldn't go away. She'd have to confront it.
*~*~*
"Chandler!"
Chandler looked away from the mirror and saw Phoebe poke her head round the door.
Phoebe gasped. "Looking sharp there, Channy!" she smiled.
Chandler smiled weakly. "Well, this place is kinda posh, and Monica said I had to dress up or we wouldn't get in, so..."
"How you holding up?" asked Phoebe, as Chandler turned his attention back to the mirror, trying to straighten his tie.
"I'm okay, I guess.... it's just, every time I see her, I just wanna grab her and kiss her, but I can't, y'know? Every time. It happens every time."
Phoebe smiled. "Well, I just popped in to see how you were doing. I hope you have a good time tonight. And be careful!"
Chandler smiled at her. "I'll try." Phoebe's head disappeared. "But I can't promise anything," he said quietly to himself, as the door slammed, leaving him alone and lonely.
Chapter Two: Learnt
A/N: Well, I guess fourteen good reviews to one bad is a good enough reason to continue. To that reviewer, I'd just like to say that you wasted your time. If you don't like this, don't read it.
To everyone else who reviewed, thank you very much! I even got a couple of the best writers I know reviewing, so I'm happy. I hope you all review again!
And a question to the reviewer called "K"... could you tell me more about that song "Invisible"? I'd love to hear it, but I've never heard of it. If you could tell me, either in a review or via email, I'd be very grateful.
Finally, this may not be updated for another couple of weeks, 'cause I have two weeks of exams. Wish me luck! And as always, read, enjoy and review!
*~*~*
Chandler sat in the barcalounger; his bright eyes the only light in the pitch-black surroundings. Joey's snores could be heard coming from his bedroom, as he slept untroubled. He didn't have the burden that Chandler had, of being in love with an unattainable woman.
Joey went from woman to woman, never really stopping to think about how he could have felt about them. For Joey, it was all about the sex. And of course, if for Joey it was all about sex, that meant that for Chandler, it was all about having to hear the sex. He tried to shut his ears, he tried to listen to his personal stereo, turning it up as loud as possible.... but it always beat through his defences, serving a constant reminder of Joey's guilt free "relationships", and causing a constant pang because Joey was happy and he wasn't.
It was all quiet tonight, though. Joey's girlfriend of six months (probably a record for him, Chandler thought, his bitterness getting the better of him), Kathy, was out of town for the week, so no animal passion tonight. Chandler was extremely grateful, since he desperately needed time to think.
Monica didn't want to be with Pete anymore. She said she still did, but it was obvious what she meant. She just didn't want to admit to herself. Which was totally understandable. Both Chandler and Monica had been there as Ross' marriage had failed, and seen what it had done to him. Monica didn't want that to happen to her, and Chandler didn't want it to happen to her either. Of course, Pete wasn't going to turn into a lesbian, but that wasn't the point.
The point was: what was Chandler going to do?
And then there was the others: Ross and Rachel happy, Joey and Kathy happy, even Phoebe had someone at the moment. Chandler would walk into the coffeehouse and see four happy couples on the sofa and chairs, all kissing and cuddling, leaving no room for him. He didn't want them to hate him, so he just slipped quietly out before they saw him. He didn't fit in; he was like a penguin in the desert, or a scorpion at the North Pole. He wasn't in the group any more, and all because he was alone while the others weren't.
*~*~*
Chandler stopped outside the window of the coffeehouse and bent down, peering in through the glass.
Good. Only Ross and Phoebe were in there. No happy couples for him to contend with today.
He pushed open the door and Ross and Phoebe looked around. "Hello, children," he said, putting on his usual front of normality.
"Hey," said Ross, turning back to the magazine he was reading.
"Hey, Chandler," said Phoebe cheerfully. "Where you been?" she asked.
Chandler frowned. "At work," he said slowly.
Phoebe clicked her fingers. "Right! I knew that!" she smiled, and Chandler shook his head in disbelief, but not managing to stop himself smiling.
"Where's Rachel?" Chandler said to Ross.
"What?" said Ross, looking up. "Oh, she's gone shopping with Mon. Yeah, they went to... blow all their hard earned money on clothes they don't need. But at least I'm not paying!"
Chandler smiled. "What about Pete?" he asked, a hint of his bitterness entering his voice.
"Oh, he went to Boston. Apparently there's some kind of big opportunity, but he won't tell anyone about it until it's confirmed. Says it's really big," said Ross, sipping his coffee. "Uh, this is cold! I'm gonna warm it up." He walked away.
Immediately, Phoebe jumped onto the couch next to Chandler. "Chandler, what is wrong with you?" she asked worriedly.
Chandler stared at her. "What? Nothing's wrong."
Phoebe scoffed. "Please, Chandler, I can tell that something is wrong. You've been like this for months. Now what is it?" she asked, staring at him intently.
Chandler slapped her hand away from his shoulder. "Nothing is wrong. Now leave me alone," he said, grabbing his briefcase back from the table and walking out.
He swung open the door and turned right, banging right into someone. He heard shopping bags fall to the floor, and bent down to help the person.
"I'm sor...." he started, but then he saw his hand was touching hers, and he looked up to see Monica looking at him. "Monica!" he exclaimed, his breathing quickening. He tried to speak, but he just stared at her. She looked back, but didn't see the love that filled his eyes.
Monica looked down at her bags. "That's okay," she said, moving her hand away from his and starting to gather her bags up again. She stood up. "Are you coming in?" she asked, indicating the coffeehouse.
Chandler suddenly found his voice. "No- no, I was just leaving. I'll- I'll see you later, okay?"
Monica smiled. "Yeah. Hey, are we still on for tonight?" she asked, starting to push open the door.
"Yeah, I wouldn't miss it for the world. 8, right?"
"Right."
Monica smiled again and walked into the coffeehouse. Chandler stood silent for a second, and then walked off down the street. As he rounded the corner, he felt someone hit him on the shoulder. "Who...Phoebe! What are you doing?!"
Phoebe stared at him incredulously. "You're in love with Monica!" she exclaimed in disbelief.
Chandler's eyes widened in alarm. "What?!" he yelled. "What the hell are you talking about?!"
Phoebe looked at him scornfully. "Oh please, it was so obvious! Why did your breath speed up by five times just then? Why did you loose the power of speech? Why are you always so miserable? You're in love with Monica!" she shouted.
Chandler put his hand over her mouth. "Shut up!" he hissed. "She's only around the corner!"
Phoebe slapped his arm away. "So you admit it! You are! But that's wrong.... she's married, Chandler."
Chandler pulled Phoebe away from the shop they were outside and sat her down on a bench. "You don't think I know that? I'm the one who has to sit there watching them every day, all lovey-dovey...."
Phoebe turned his head to hers. "Look, there's nothing wrong with being in love, Chandler. It's just... you know you can't have her, Chandler?"
Chandler groaned. "Of course I know that. That's the problem. If I could have her, I'd be much happier. But I can't."
Phoebe smiled. "How long?" she asked quietly, rubbing his hand in sympathy.
Chandler looked down. "I'm not sure. Eight months, maybe nine. It just... it jsut hurts so bad, Phoebe, and I don't know what to do."
Phoebe considered. "Neither do I," she said. "Come on, let's go home."
And she walked him home, her arm around him, letting him sob into her shoulder.
*~*~*
Monica sat in silence, letting Ross and Rachel's comments wash over her. Her hair lay on the back of the chair, her shopping bags spread on the floor around her. The busy chatter of the coffeehouse was a quiet backdrop to her thoughts, which were trying desperately to make sense of themselves.
What the hell had happened out there?
One minute, she's exhausted from coming back from a day of shopping, the next... all her thoughts swam around her head, trying to fit themselves into some kind of order. A spark? With Chandler?
She'd never had a spark with Chandler. He was her confidant, nothing more. She'd told him so. She'd even told him her biggest secret. She was bored with Pete. It was true; she was. It wasn't that he was horrible to her, he just got a little too wrapped up in business, and didn't pay her enough attention. She thought she still loved him, but she couldn't be sure. And now this spark with Chandler.... well, it didn't make any sense. It was unthinkable.
She put it out of her mind and drank her coffee, soon wrapped up in a discussion with Rachel about shopping, which Ross said was a complete waste of money. But it still hung over her, and she knew it wouldn't go away. She'd have to confront it.
*~*~*
"Chandler!"
Chandler looked away from the mirror and saw Phoebe poke her head round the door.
Phoebe gasped. "Looking sharp there, Channy!" she smiled.
Chandler smiled weakly. "Well, this place is kinda posh, and Monica said I had to dress up or we wouldn't get in, so..."
"How you holding up?" asked Phoebe, as Chandler turned his attention back to the mirror, trying to straighten his tie.
"I'm okay, I guess.... it's just, every time I see her, I just wanna grab her and kiss her, but I can't, y'know? Every time. It happens every time."
Phoebe smiled. "Well, I just popped in to see how you were doing. I hope you have a good time tonight. And be careful!"
Chandler smiled at her. "I'll try." Phoebe's head disappeared. "But I can't promise anything," he said quietly to himself, as the door slammed, leaving him alone and lonely.
