Hey thanks again for Reading this and your reviews!!! Sorry for any typos. Let me know if you find this too choppy or if you're confused about anything. I hope there's enough action going on....I think I enjoy more of what's going on in the character's minds rather than what needs to happen in the story. If you think I'm getting to in depth with that let me know and I'll keep it in mind. THANKS.

Part 5: Mirages in his Desert

When Buffy got back to Spike's room that after noon her heart jumped for joy. He was sitting up in bed looking much better than he had so far. He looked worlds better than when she'd first seen him. Angel was seated in the chair next to him; he got up and spoke in a hushed voice to Buffy when she came in.

"He's been up for nearly two hours and he hasn't said anything. He's just been looking at me out of the corner of his eye."

"Oh." Buffy wasn't sure what she should do with the information, but she'd take it at least he was looking at something.

"I'm going to head out I've got some work to take care of. I'll see you later tonight."

"Thanks for staying with him today Angel."

"Any time Buffy, Just ask." Angel Hugged Buffy and pecked her on the cheek. "We'll get through this together."

"Thanks." Buffy gave her brother in law a reassured nodded.

"I'll see you later Spike." Angel looked for some reaction from Spike, getting none; he shrugged, turned, and left.

**

Buffy turned to Spike. She had told Willow that she could handle him herself, but now she wasn't sure. What was she going to do, Spike didn't even know her. Buffy did not know how much longer she could hold up. For now she would be strong, she'd been strong before. She had had to be strong when her father left, when her mother died, and when she thought that she'd lost Spike, she could hold down the fort once more it was what she did.

Buffy took a seat at the edge of Spike's bed. She noticed that he moved away from her a little but she tried not to take it personally.

"Did you sleep well?" Spike's eyes narrowed at her question. Well that was something.

"How do you feel today?" The question had left Buffy's lips before she remembered that Spike hated that question. "I know hospital food sucks, but I'm sure if you just asked you'd get all the Jello you could ever want." Buffy made a silly face, Spike's face was stone.

"Huumm, so you're not talking today." Buffy decided to let her flood gates open just a bit and see if it got her anything. "Spike, you know I'm here for you. Anything you're going through I'm here to help you through it. I understand that you don't think you can trust us. But please, Spike, trust me, I want so badly to help you. I don't know what to do. I need you to tell me how to help you." Buffy's eyes where getting misty.

**

Spike was trying very hard to not let this mirage of Buffy get to him.
His eyes blurred and his lip started to quiver but he bit it, and
kept his still composure.

**

Rupert stood in the doorway of his son's hospital room and watched as his daughter in law pleaded with his youngest son. Rupert hoped that at least for Buffy's sake Spike would regain his right mind. "Buffy dear, the doctor wants to talk with us."

Buffy looked back over her shoulder with wet eyes. "Alright" Buffy turned back to Spike, but she couldn't think of anything to say. She got up and left the room with Giles.

**

Spike waited till they left then sunk back into the bed. He was trying so hard to understand what was going on around him. But it was so surreal. He didn't know who was really and who was a figment of his imagination.

Spike liked things to be black and white. Good guys and Bad guys. It was when things got gray that he got hurt.

**

Dawn had ridden with Xander to the Hospital. They pasted Giles and Buffy in the hall all the way to Spike's room. They were going to see the Doctor; Xander decided he wanted to join them. As they were all discussing the day's happenings on the way down the hall; it occurred to Dawn the Spike was all alone.

She didn't like the thought of him all alone. It reminded her to much of what he must have been through the past year. So Dawn coolly left her sister, Giles, and Xander and headed back to Spikes room.

**

Agent Finn watched The Giles walk down the hall leaving Agent Giles alone in his room. Agent Finn thought this was a perfect time to check on things.

**

Spike was staring at the ceiling Dawn quietly entered his room. "Spike?"

**

Spike heard his name and sat up quickly, causing his head swim. As his eyes focused his breath caught in his throat. Who was the evil bustard playing "this is your life" with him. Parading all the people he loved in front of him just to mock him. Spike wished he could get out of the bed he was in and run far away, but his body wasn't responding to his wishes.

"Hey, I'm so happy to see you're up." Dawn saw the pained look cross Spikes face. She moved closer into the room.

"Spike? Are you alright it's me. It's Dawn." He looked more like him self, she thought, less like a vegetable. He looked like he needed to eat a big piece of chocolate cake and sleep for like a month. Oohhh and Bleach his hair, she had missed his blond hair.

She watched as Spike's face got very serious. This wasn't the reaction she had expected. She had thought tears of joy and hugs. But this was just sad and strange and it was about to get stranger.

"This is no place for you..." his voice caught. "Dawn."

He spoke. Dawn had missed the sound of his voice so much. The cool, smooth way he talked when he was relaxed, the way words could flow from his lips like poetry. The choppy heavily accented tirades he went on when he was mad or excited. She had missed him, all of him for so long.

"I know I'm not supposed to be in here, but I didn't want you to be alone." Dawn couldn't contain herself any longer. She ran to the bedside and rapped her arms around his neck.

** Spike didn't have a chance to react or pull away when the young girl rushed at him with open arms. After he had gotten over the initial shock of her attack, it felt nice to be in her arms. Her loving arms, Spike for a moment didn't care if they were really or not. She felt like his Dawnie, even smelled like she did. Spike closed his eyes and imagined that it was her. Then he heard someone else in the room.

**

Dawn didn't know what went wrong, one minuet she was hugging Spike and he was hugging her back like his life depended on it then the next moment he was pushing her away. She watched as he started rocking back and forth, holding his head. Over and over he kept repeating "Don't hurt the girl. Don't hurt the girl."

Dawn started to cry.

"Spike? Spike, what's wrong? You didn't hurt me; you're not going to hurt me. Spike you're scaring me. Please Stop." Nothing Dawn seemed to help.

**

Buffy heard Spike's voice down the hall and she started to run. When she and the others got to the room they found Dawn with her arms wrapped around a very upset Spike, both of them with red eyes and tear stained cheeks.

Buffy took Dawn up in her arms and hugged her tight. Giles worked to claim Spike, who wasn't responding to anything.

Buffy took a shaky Dawn out of the room and Xander went to go get her some hot chocolate.

**

Agent Finn peered around the corner and down the hall at the room he had just left. He was very pleased with himself. This would do, this would do very nicely for now.

To be continued....