Disclaimer: I do not own and part of d.n.angel, I'm just obsessed with it. The spacing is supposed to be messy, though the html format screwed it up quite a bit, and I apologize sincerely for anyone who's eyes I harmed with the dots ^_^;

I'm on the floor again. I really don't know how long I've been here,
and it really doesn't matter. Dark has not sent a notice for tonight. If he had, things would have been different- but he hasn't. So it doesn't matter that I'm lying on the floor for who knows how long. I have no reason to get up without Dark, no meaning to who and what I am without him.
So I might as well lay here on the cold floor.

Daisuke- he might be a reason.

I would get up for him.
But he's not here, is he? He'll never be near me. I can't let him be near, grow close.... I can't hurt him, I can't taint him with who and what I am. So there's no

reason to get up.

I wonder how long I've been laying here.
It's cold on the floor. Krad might know, he's the reason I'm here.
But he's tried from the struggle. He's not here now. Which is why I can lay on the floor in peace. Because he's not here, no one's here.
But no one's ever here. I'm used to that now. I've been so alone for so long- but then why does it still hurt?
Why does my heart still ache? Is it he I long for?

But I can't let him get close. I can't taint him. And that's why I have a reason not to get up from this cold floor. So that I don't hurt him, so that he stays the same Daisuke that I love from afar.

It's really cold here. I'm used to that too. I've had to make my heart cold.
Every thing I touch turns colds. I can't turn him cold. He is the only warmth.
I wonder what it is like to be warm.... But I am cold on a cold floor.

He'll be here soon. Saehara might come too, with food and homework.
Food- when's the last time I ate? Was it three days ago? Four? Maybe Krad know that too, but I don't want to ask. I don't want to need anything from HIM. I don't need anything- I can't.

That's why I'm lying here on this cold floor. I can't need anything- that would melt the ice.

But I need him don't I? I need him and because I need him HE will kill him. And I can't let that happen.
So I can't let him get close. So I'm lying here on this cold, wet floor.

Wet?
Blood. My wrist is slit. The crimson has stained my pale skin.
They go well together, red and white... I wonder when I did that. Maybe Krad knows, but I'll never ask him. It's not too deep. Not deep enough to give the peace I ache for. HE must have stopped me.

Bastard.

What is the Kaitou's for me?
Creepy bastard, that must be it.

But that doesn't matter, because he did not send a notice for tonight.
So I'm lying here on this cold, wet floor....

He will be here soon
I think. I think I have been lying here for a while.
But I don't know.

I'll get up when he comes, if I have the strength. He's the only one I'd get up for.
Maybe he'll have to help me up; maybe he'll bandage my wrist.

I have bandages somewhere.
I think.

Maybe he'll come.
HE wouldn't know this one. I can't let HIM get Daisuke.
I can't let him close.

So I lie here

on this cold,

wet floor.

I wonder if he'll come.

Author's Notes: I wrote it when I was depressed, so hence the angst. My first fanfict... it was bad, I know. So apologies and thanks for reading.