Our Connection
She's falling. . . Trinity is falling. What is she doing? Why is she here? No! Trinity!
I see her falling again and again. Time slows down, and I can't hear her screams or the sounds of the guns. I see her blood fall with her, and her hair glide with the wind. The Agent follows her, and I try to catch her. I try to fly to her. But I can't move, I can't scream. I'm helpless as she falls to her death. All I can do is watch.
Trinity!
I see the waves the bullets make, only itches away from her and the Agent. But then there is always one that hits her. Right in the chest. I try to scream, but I say nothing. I try to move, but something binds me to the wall. And I see her face. All her energy gone, and a bullet inside her. There is nothing I can do.
Then all she has to do is hit the ground.
"Trinity! No!"
My screams broke through the silence. I heaved for breath, my heart pumping hard. My hand is extended out reaching for someone that wasn't even mine, reaching for something that wasn't there, something that I don't even want. I stare at the darkness around me. The moonlight broke through the windows, and I see nothing.
Then I backed to the wall, sliding down to the floor. My arm was still trying to reach for something, and I couldn't stop. I only stared at my hand, wishing this would stop. Wishing I was still Agent Smith. Wishing this never happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How long has it been since I last was able to fall asleep? Ever since that day. . . That day when I died. When he killed me. How long ago was that? A month ago I think. I don't know. I don't care. I only wish I didn't feel like this.
My Trinity sleeps next to me. I wish I could be happy with her. But I only feel a little empty. Like something is missing. Or it was taken from me. I've been having dreams. Dreams I cannot make sense of. I wonder if they are meant to make sense.
Morpheus says it is because of what I am. That I am The One. But why don't I feel like that? Why don't I feel the wind on my face when I fly? Why do I feel this way?
So I stare at her, asleep and beautiful. She seems so peaceful, as I brush her hair out of her eyes. At least I still feel her.
Why do I feel like this? I feel like something is watching me, something is there. I know it, but I can't see it.
Why do I feel a pain in my chest? Why do I get headaches?
I turn in my bed, and get up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'll kill you, Mr. Anderson!"
"That's what you think."
"Get away from me!"
Stop it. Stop it! He's not here. He's not.
"Ohhhh, Smithie."
"I'll kill you!"
I turn in the darkness. He isn't here. He isn't here! He isn't! Stop it!
I run into a wall, and I crawl down to the floor. He isn't here! Am I shaking? Why am I shaking? I don't want this anymore! I want to be an Agent!
"They left you, Smithie. . . Or did you leave them?" He taunts.
"Get away!"
Why did this happen? Why did this happen? How did he do this? How did he kill me? He's inside me! Get him out! Out!
Mr. Anderson killed me. . . I shot him in the chest. . . His blood was on the wall! But. He came back. . . He went inside me. . . Why won't he go away!?
I can feel it. His code, it's inside me. . . It's inside me! He left something in me! He was inside me! He still is! Get him out!
I can hear his voice. I can feel him. He's here! He's here!
But I know he isn't. . . Why did this happen? How could this happen?
One month ago, I left the Mainframe. One month ago, Mr. Anderson killed me. One month ago, a connection was formed.
I hold my chest, my chest is heaving, and I look down at my hand. He did this to me. He did all of this. He went inside me, and he left something there. Now. . . Now he won't leave! I can see him, I can see that piece of him in me. . .
I can hear him laugh. . . He's laughing at me, at this! I make a fist. I'm Agent Smith. He's only human!
I turn, and punch through the air.
"Leave me alone!"
But he only laughs. . . I can see him in the shadows. I know he isn't there. . . But he won't leave. . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do I find myself walking in the empty halls of this place? Why don't I remember walking here? What's happening to me? Why am I walking? Where am I going?
I walk in the empty ship, the cold metal wearing away. The red and blue wires hanging from the ceiling. A ship that must always be repaired, a ship that is my home.
But why doesn't it feel like home? Why when I touch it, it doesn't feel cold anymore? What happened? Why doesn't the place ever seem cold anymore? Why don't I shiver at night like I used to?
Why doesn't the food here disgust me anymore?
Why don't the engines keep me up anymore? Why doesn't anything in this world scare me now? Everything here is a nightmare, but I don't scream.
And now I walk aimlessly through a hollow ship. I can hear the engines roaring through the halls, and the echo of my footsteps. I nod my head, feeling dizzy. And I hold out my hands, walking deeper into the darkness of the ship.
Something is wrong, I can feel it. But why aren't I worried about it? I know here, I am nothing. Here I'm not the one, I'm still mortal. I can die here, but why aren't I worried?
Why have is everything so far away now? Did I loose it?
"Mr. Anderson."
I turn to see darkness.
"Smith?"
Why aren't I scared? Here Smith can kill me, here I can't fly, here I'm only human. I should run, sound the alarm. I should scream, and punch through the air. But I don't. . . I'm not even afraid.
"That's right, Mr. Anderson. . ."
"How did you get here, Smith?"
My voice shows no fear, no weakness.
I walk in circles deep inside the ship, I can barely see, but I can hear him. Smith is here, I know he is. I can feel him. He's close.
"Smith?"
I can hear him laugh. That voice, that laugh I know so well. I can picture his code right now, I can picture him killing me. But I don't feel anything.
"I got here through you." He says.
Something isn't right.
I turn, and punch.
"Argh!" I grab my hand.
I look at my hand, it's bleeding! But. . .I punched him, I hit Smith, he was right in front of me! And I look to the ground, and I see shattered glass. But I don't see my reflection. I see him.
And now even as I begin to back away, I should be much more afraid.
"Can you feel it, Mr. Anderson?" He asks, laughing.
And I turn again, and I see him. . . I freeze looking at him. And he only laughs, why don't I run?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Go away." I say.
But of course he doesn't. He never will now. His code is inside me. His code freed me, made me this, and made me choose Exile. His code made me strong enough to leave. He took a part of me. I wonder what he's doing with the part he took.
This is our connection.
One in the same. I am his opposite, his rival. We are part of each other, and he's still here laughing at me.
He isn't there, but he is. I know I'm talking to air, but not.
Look what he has done to me. I sit here, looking defeated by nothing. I sit here in this corner of a place far from the rest of the Matrix. Away from their smells, and their world. No Agent will find me, no one will, except Mr. Anderson.
I'm hiding. I shouldn't hide. I shouldn't! I am Smith! But I am here, hiding, and screaming at the air. I shouldn't scream, I shouldn't be afraid. Weaknesses! Emotions I should never have! What did he do to me!?
I shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't feel! No! I can't! I won't let him!
But even now, I can feel it, and emotion.
He did this! He did this to me! He made me feel! I can't feel! I can't!
But now I do.
There must be a way to make him go away, get his imperfect code out of me. I have to make this stop. I have to stop this. I have to suffice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why can't I feel the blood go down my hand?
Why aren't I shaking? Why aren't I scared? What's wrong with me?
"Smith!?" I call.
I can only hear him laugh now. What happened? Why do I feel like this? Why is everything so far away? Why can't I feel anything now? Why can't I feel fear anymore?
"What did you do to me, Smith!?"
Now I sit here in the dark. Holding my hand tightly, trying to stop it from bleeding. But I don't feel it, I don't feel the pain. . .
Why can't I feel anymore? What's wrong with me?
"You did this." Smith says.
What? How did I do this? How did I do this to myself?
Why do I feel different? Why does my code feel altered? Why? Why? Why?
"Neo!"
I can barely hear her.
"Trinity!" I yell with no concern.
She comes running to, and she sees me. She falls to her knees, and holds me, but I can barely feel her touch, or her breath on my neck. I can only love her.
"He's here, Trin. He's here." I say.
"Who Neo, who?"
"Smith."
She looks at me, fear in her eyes, unlike mine.
"Neo. . . Neo. . ."
She holds my bleeding hand, and I don't feel her warmth. I don't feel her holding me, or her concern. I don't feel fear, or sadness.
I only feel love. Maybe that's all I need to feel.
And I can still hear him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neo and Smith were an equation, they had a connection, in which Smith explains Neo copying his code onto Smith's.
And as this connection was formed, Neo grew more machine, and Smith more human. The Virus and The One grew more alike.
The connection soon dies out. They no longer hear each other, but they are with each other nonetheless. The connection would always be there. It would bind them together, and kill them together.
In Revolutions Smith screams with fear, and Neo dies calmly.
She's falling. . . Trinity is falling. What is she doing? Why is she here? No! Trinity!
I see her falling again and again. Time slows down, and I can't hear her screams or the sounds of the guns. I see her blood fall with her, and her hair glide with the wind. The Agent follows her, and I try to catch her. I try to fly to her. But I can't move, I can't scream. I'm helpless as she falls to her death. All I can do is watch.
Trinity!
I see the waves the bullets make, only itches away from her and the Agent. But then there is always one that hits her. Right in the chest. I try to scream, but I say nothing. I try to move, but something binds me to the wall. And I see her face. All her energy gone, and a bullet inside her. There is nothing I can do.
Then all she has to do is hit the ground.
"Trinity! No!"
My screams broke through the silence. I heaved for breath, my heart pumping hard. My hand is extended out reaching for someone that wasn't even mine, reaching for something that wasn't there, something that I don't even want. I stare at the darkness around me. The moonlight broke through the windows, and I see nothing.
Then I backed to the wall, sliding down to the floor. My arm was still trying to reach for something, and I couldn't stop. I only stared at my hand, wishing this would stop. Wishing I was still Agent Smith. Wishing this never happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How long has it been since I last was able to fall asleep? Ever since that day. . . That day when I died. When he killed me. How long ago was that? A month ago I think. I don't know. I don't care. I only wish I didn't feel like this.
My Trinity sleeps next to me. I wish I could be happy with her. But I only feel a little empty. Like something is missing. Or it was taken from me. I've been having dreams. Dreams I cannot make sense of. I wonder if they are meant to make sense.
Morpheus says it is because of what I am. That I am The One. But why don't I feel like that? Why don't I feel the wind on my face when I fly? Why do I feel this way?
So I stare at her, asleep and beautiful. She seems so peaceful, as I brush her hair out of her eyes. At least I still feel her.
Why do I feel like this? I feel like something is watching me, something is there. I know it, but I can't see it.
Why do I feel a pain in my chest? Why do I get headaches?
I turn in my bed, and get up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'll kill you, Mr. Anderson!"
"That's what you think."
"Get away from me!"
Stop it. Stop it! He's not here. He's not.
"Ohhhh, Smithie."
"I'll kill you!"
I turn in the darkness. He isn't here. He isn't here! He isn't! Stop it!
I run into a wall, and I crawl down to the floor. He isn't here! Am I shaking? Why am I shaking? I don't want this anymore! I want to be an Agent!
"They left you, Smithie. . . Or did you leave them?" He taunts.
"Get away!"
Why did this happen? Why did this happen? How did he do this? How did he kill me? He's inside me! Get him out! Out!
Mr. Anderson killed me. . . I shot him in the chest. . . His blood was on the wall! But. He came back. . . He went inside me. . . Why won't he go away!?
I can feel it. His code, it's inside me. . . It's inside me! He left something in me! He was inside me! He still is! Get him out!
I can hear his voice. I can feel him. He's here! He's here!
But I know he isn't. . . Why did this happen? How could this happen?
One month ago, I left the Mainframe. One month ago, Mr. Anderson killed me. One month ago, a connection was formed.
I hold my chest, my chest is heaving, and I look down at my hand. He did this to me. He did all of this. He went inside me, and he left something there. Now. . . Now he won't leave! I can see him, I can see that piece of him in me. . .
I can hear him laugh. . . He's laughing at me, at this! I make a fist. I'm Agent Smith. He's only human!
I turn, and punch through the air.
"Leave me alone!"
But he only laughs. . . I can see him in the shadows. I know he isn't there. . . But he won't leave. . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do I find myself walking in the empty halls of this place? Why don't I remember walking here? What's happening to me? Why am I walking? Where am I going?
I walk in the empty ship, the cold metal wearing away. The red and blue wires hanging from the ceiling. A ship that must always be repaired, a ship that is my home.
But why doesn't it feel like home? Why when I touch it, it doesn't feel cold anymore? What happened? Why doesn't the place ever seem cold anymore? Why don't I shiver at night like I used to?
Why doesn't the food here disgust me anymore?
Why don't the engines keep me up anymore? Why doesn't anything in this world scare me now? Everything here is a nightmare, but I don't scream.
And now I walk aimlessly through a hollow ship. I can hear the engines roaring through the halls, and the echo of my footsteps. I nod my head, feeling dizzy. And I hold out my hands, walking deeper into the darkness of the ship.
Something is wrong, I can feel it. But why aren't I worried about it? I know here, I am nothing. Here I'm not the one, I'm still mortal. I can die here, but why aren't I worried?
Why have is everything so far away now? Did I loose it?
"Mr. Anderson."
I turn to see darkness.
"Smith?"
Why aren't I scared? Here Smith can kill me, here I can't fly, here I'm only human. I should run, sound the alarm. I should scream, and punch through the air. But I don't. . . I'm not even afraid.
"That's right, Mr. Anderson. . ."
"How did you get here, Smith?"
My voice shows no fear, no weakness.
I walk in circles deep inside the ship, I can barely see, but I can hear him. Smith is here, I know he is. I can feel him. He's close.
"Smith?"
I can hear him laugh. That voice, that laugh I know so well. I can picture his code right now, I can picture him killing me. But I don't feel anything.
"I got here through you." He says.
Something isn't right.
I turn, and punch.
"Argh!" I grab my hand.
I look at my hand, it's bleeding! But. . .I punched him, I hit Smith, he was right in front of me! And I look to the ground, and I see shattered glass. But I don't see my reflection. I see him.
And now even as I begin to back away, I should be much more afraid.
"Can you feel it, Mr. Anderson?" He asks, laughing.
And I turn again, and I see him. . . I freeze looking at him. And he only laughs, why don't I run?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Go away." I say.
But of course he doesn't. He never will now. His code is inside me. His code freed me, made me this, and made me choose Exile. His code made me strong enough to leave. He took a part of me. I wonder what he's doing with the part he took.
This is our connection.
One in the same. I am his opposite, his rival. We are part of each other, and he's still here laughing at me.
He isn't there, but he is. I know I'm talking to air, but not.
Look what he has done to me. I sit here, looking defeated by nothing. I sit here in this corner of a place far from the rest of the Matrix. Away from their smells, and their world. No Agent will find me, no one will, except Mr. Anderson.
I'm hiding. I shouldn't hide. I shouldn't! I am Smith! But I am here, hiding, and screaming at the air. I shouldn't scream, I shouldn't be afraid. Weaknesses! Emotions I should never have! What did he do to me!?
I shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't feel! No! I can't! I won't let him!
But even now, I can feel it, and emotion.
He did this! He did this to me! He made me feel! I can't feel! I can't!
But now I do.
There must be a way to make him go away, get his imperfect code out of me. I have to make this stop. I have to stop this. I have to suffice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why can't I feel the blood go down my hand?
Why aren't I shaking? Why aren't I scared? What's wrong with me?
"Smith!?" I call.
I can only hear him laugh now. What happened? Why do I feel like this? Why is everything so far away? Why can't I feel anything now? Why can't I feel fear anymore?
"What did you do to me, Smith!?"
Now I sit here in the dark. Holding my hand tightly, trying to stop it from bleeding. But I don't feel it, I don't feel the pain. . .
Why can't I feel anymore? What's wrong with me?
"You did this." Smith says.
What? How did I do this? How did I do this to myself?
Why do I feel different? Why does my code feel altered? Why? Why? Why?
"Neo!"
I can barely hear her.
"Trinity!" I yell with no concern.
She comes running to, and she sees me. She falls to her knees, and holds me, but I can barely feel her touch, or her breath on my neck. I can only love her.
"He's here, Trin. He's here." I say.
"Who Neo, who?"
"Smith."
She looks at me, fear in her eyes, unlike mine.
"Neo. . . Neo. . ."
She holds my bleeding hand, and I don't feel her warmth. I don't feel her holding me, or her concern. I don't feel fear, or sadness.
I only feel love. Maybe that's all I need to feel.
And I can still hear him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Neo and Smith were an equation, they had a connection, in which Smith explains Neo copying his code onto Smith's.
And as this connection was formed, Neo grew more machine, and Smith more human. The Virus and The One grew more alike.
The connection soon dies out. They no longer hear each other, but they are with each other nonetheless. The connection would always be there. It would bind them together, and kill them together.
In Revolutions Smith screams with fear, and Neo dies calmly.
