Disclaimer: No I do not and won't ever own the rights to Final Fantasy X-2 or another Final Fantasy ever. They belong to Square-Enix. I just play the games.

All Screwed Up

Chapter 2: Friend or Foe

"Come on, think! We've all at least seen the beginning of this game!" Nyaru told them.

"So?" Miroku asked.

"At the begging of the game there is the concert, then the fight with those two goons. What happens next?" Maxx asked.

The group fell silent for a moment until suddenly the silence was broken by the moaning and groaning of the two henchmen. The eight of them turned their attention to Logos and Ormi who were now sitting up with a familiar woman.

"That's quite enough sniveling, boys." The woman said to Logos and Ormi.

"Yuna?" Nat whispered.

"No… Not Yuna." Nyaru told her.

The Yuna impersonator approached the eight friends.

"Persistent, aren't y-… Wait a second. You aren't the Dullwings!" She exclaimed.

"Very observant, Madame Obvious," Sekaya rolled her eyes.

"Insolent child," The imposter hissed. "Who are you people anyway?"

"Uh…" Momo began.

"We are…" Nyaru began.

"S.L.A!" Nat exclaimed happily.

"What's that?" Jakob asked.

"Sephiroth Lovers Anonymous!" Nat told him.

"I think that's already a therapy group," Maxx told her. "One that you should join by the way."

"CUSH!" Hamster smiled.

"We are…" Nyaru thought for a moment.

"Hell's Angels!" Miroku shouted.

"That's a biker group!" Jakob told him.

"The Leblanc Syndicate?" Momo suggested.

"That's MY group!" The Yuna Imposter protested.

"We are… the 'Shwee Squad'?" Nyaru asked.

"Where did that come from?" Adam asked.

"'Shwee' is a word I made up in grade ten. It is an expression or exclamation of Joy, hopefulness or happiness," Nyaru told her.

"I like it!" Natalee smiled.

"Alright, we are the Shwee Squad. And you are Leblanc if I am correct?" Nyaru smiled.

"Indeed I am, love," The Yuna Imposter smirked.

"Then you have something that belongs to Yuna. So, we're going to have to ask you to give it back," Nyaru smiled, "But, first…"

Nyaru ran up to Leblanc with a notepad and a pen.

"Can I have you're autograph?" Nyaru asked.

"Sure," Leblanc raised an eye brow at her as she took the pen and signed the notepad.

"Nyaru!" Maxx shook her head.

"What! She's my favorite character in this game!" Nyaru told her.

"Nyaru, this is no time for autographs. If my knowledge serves me right, this is where we are supposed to get Yuna's Garment Grid back," Sekaya told her.

"Oh yeah," Nyaru smiled sheepishly then turned to Leblanc. "Thank you."

Nyaru ran back over to her friend and got her serious look back.

"Now… Yuna's grid," Nyaru held out her hand in a gesture for Leblanc to give it back.

"Yeah! You give us Yunie's Garment Grid right now!" Momo shouted.

"Didn't you kids ever learn about 'finder's keepers'?" Leblanc smirked, placing a hand on her hip.

"Give it back," Jakob glared.

"Very well, it's yours," Leblanc sighed and tossed the garment grid into the air and quickly turned back into her original form. "But it won't be yours for long, loves!"

"Dude!" Miroku ran up to Leblanc and began to pace around her, looking at her up and down. "She's looks even better in person!"

"Excuse me?" Leblanc looked at him oddly.

"Just look at that butt!" Miroku smiled to himself.

"Miroku!" Hamster shouted. "This is no time for your drooling-fests!"

"Can't I just touch it?" Miroku pouted.

"Get your arse back here!" Nyaru hissed.

"Sigh… Yes, 'Master'," Miroku sulked as he shuffled back over to his friends.

"Wait! What happened to the garment grid?" Maxx asked.

"Neko's got it," Natalee pointed to Neko who had the garment grid between its teeth.

"Way to go, Neko!" Maxx praised the feline as she took the grid from its mouth.

"Ahem!" Leblanc drew attention back to herself. "If I do recall, I believe we were going to fight for that garment grid?"

"Or we could avoid this altogether and just run away with the garment grid," Adam pointed out.

"I don't think that'll be happening anytime soon," Leblanc smirked as eight Fem-goons appeared behind her blocking the only way off the dock.

"That was SO cool!" Nyaru exclaimed with amazement. "Why can't I have minions?"

"Hey! We aren't minions!" a fem-goon protested.

"Shut up, minion!" Leblanc snapped at the fem-goon.

"Yes, boss…" The fem-goon stood in attention.

"Looks like we don't have a choice," Jakob said to the others.

"Aww, common! Do we have to fight her? She's so cool!" Nyaru whined.

"If we don't she's most likely going to wipe the floor with us," Sekaya told her.

"Well I'm ready for some action!" Momo smiled holding up her Bazooka.

"Cush!" Hamster squealed.

"Alright, let's get this over with," Nyaru sighed and turned to Leblanc. "Just because we're about to kick your ass doesn't mean I'm not your number one fan!"

"We'll see whose kicking whose ass, loves!" Leblanc smirked. "Ladies! Attack!"

"Yes, boss!" The Fem-goons chorused as they charged the eight friends.

Leblanc watched with a smirk as the nine friends struggled with the fem-goons. Since most of them did not have weapons they could actually block with, Sekaya, Momo, Maxx, Miroku, and Natalee were automatically pinned to the ground by five fem-goons while Adam, Jakob, Nyaru and Hamster were fighting off the rest.

"Guys! Help us!" Natalee shouted from underneath a fem-goon.

"You know I'd love to, but we have our hands full too, ya know!" Adam shouted back, clashing weapons with his opponent.

"There is only three fem-goons not pinning someone, one of you can help us!" Momo told her.

"Yes but which one of us?" Jakob asked as he swung his blade at a pouncing fem-goon.

"Hamster can help us!" Sekaya told them.

"Why Hamster?" Maxx asked, trying to wriggle her way out.

"If Hamster stays to fight a fem-goon, he could get knocked out because he can't handle physical attacks. He's a black mage! He can cast magic on all these fem-goons and set us free!" Sekaya told her.

"Great idea!" Nyaru smiled and turned to Hamster. "Hamster, get back there, while I take care of this one."

"Right!" Hamster smiled and began to chant.

Nyaru ran up to the fem-goon that was about to tackle Hamster and hit her in the face with the butt of her katana. The fem-goon fell to the ground holding her jaw. Nyaru was about to finish her off when suddenly the fem-goon Jakob was fighting with jumped onto her back and began to smack Nyaru in the face with her mini fan. Jakob came up behind them and knocked the fem-goon out with a hard smack to the head. The fem-goon became limp and slid off Nyaru's back, hitting the ground.

"Thanks," Nyaru smiled shyly at him.

"You're welcome," Jakob smirked and winked.

Nyaru blushed a deep crimson and turned her face away. She was about to say something when a fem-goon landed between with a 'thud'. Nyaru and Jakob turned their attentions to Adam, who had a sheepish grin on his face.

"Oops, sorry about that," He apologized.

"It's alright," Jakob told him, "Good work, by the way."

From behind them they could hear the blood curdling screams of fem-goons as they were set aflame. Nyaru, Adam and Jakob watched as the flaming fem-goons ran for their lives past a wide-eyed Leblanc.

"GET BACK HERE YOU COWARDS!" Leblanc snarled and shook her fist as the retreating goons.

The others joined Adam, Jakob, and Nyaru, and laughed as the fem-goons disappeared from sight.

"Why did you have to burn mine off? I was enjoying it." Miroku pouted at Hamster.

"How can you enjoy being pinned to the ground?" Momo asked.

"Don't you see? It's the closest he'll ever get to a woman!" Jakob laughed.

"Hey!" Miroku protested.

"People, FOCUS!" Sekaya shouted. "If you haven't noticed, we got some unfinished business to take care of!"

"Sekaya is right," Nyaru told the others. "We still need to take care of Leblanc."

"Yeah, but where is she?" Maxx pointed out.

Everyone turned to where Leblanc had been standing last. She had vanished.

"Maybe she figured out we're too superior for her and ran home crying," Jakob suggested with a smirk.

"I doubt it. Leblanc isn't the type to give up just like that," Nyaru told him.

"Yea, you would know, Obsessive Syndicate freak," Miroku laughed.

"Hey! I am NOT OBSESSIVE! Having plenty of knowledge and a hand full of pictures of them plus knowing all their lines is NOT obsessive," Nyaru told him.

"Sure it isn't," Sekaya said sarcastically.

"Look the problem at hand is that she isn't here and she could be anywhere," Natalee told everyone.

"Yeah! We'll just have to keep our eyes open," Momo added.

"THUNDER!"

Before anyone could make a move they were all struck by lightning! Their bodies shook violently as the surge of electric charge flowed through them. Once the surge stopped they all fell to the ground in a heap with smoke rising from their bodies. Leblanc landed a few feet behind them and crossed her arms with a devilish smirk playing on her lips.

"The mighty Leblanc runs from no one, loves," She laughed. "Now, I'll just be taking that grid back…"

Leblanc began to approach the smoking heap when suddenly one of them sat up.

"Ugh… Woo… what a shock, eh?" Adam said with his hair standing on end.

Then another sat up. "Ouchie," Momo groaned as she coughed up smoke.

Leblanc stepped back in shock as the rest of them began to sit up and then slowly rose to their feet, dusting them selves off.

"This can't be! You should all be KO'd from that attack!" Leblanc exclaimed.

"Jeez, nice to know you care," Nyaru said sarcastically.

"Yeah, can't we just do it and make up?" Miroku smirked and held out his arms.

Sekaya smacked him in the back of the head. "No sensual relations with the enemy!"

"You just don't understand that you are utterly incapable of eradicating us," Jakob told Leblanc.

"Well, this time I'll just have to take you out one by one!" Leblanc shouted as she raised her hands in the air.

The nine friends heard a loud crack of thunder in the sky and looked up to see a barrage of lightning hurdling down towards them. The nine of them quickly ducked behind a pile of boxes to dodge the barrage.

"What do we do now?" Hamster asked.

"I don't know," Nyaru sighed.

"Well, common, Nyaru, you've beaten this game 125 times! You know the game off by heart!" Momo told her.

"126," Nyaru corrected.

"Whatever! Think of something! What should we do?" Maxx shouted.

"Ok… someone recap what has happened so far," Nyaru crossed her arms.

"So far we've fallen from the sky, broke Paine and Rikku's legs when Yuna should have been here to rescue them," Natalee told her.

"But instead all of us had to fight those two losers, and we defeated them. But know their boss is going berserk on our asses to take the garment grid back after we're lying motionless on the ground," Adam added.

"Alright. So if she is anything like she is in the video game I think I know what to do," Nyaru told them, and then turned to Maxx, "Do you think you've got control of Neko?"

"Yeah," Maxx told her.

"So what's the plan?" Miroku asked.

"We blind her with a skill I so dearly hope Neko has. It's called 'Neko Gauge'. It will not only inflict damage but will also blind her with Darkness… then we beat the crap out of her with all we got," Nyaru told them.

"…Sounds adequately pleasant," Jakob smiled.

"I don't know. How is it going to work without her frying poor Neko with her Thunder attacks?" Maxx asked.

"Hamster! Is Ormi and Logos still around?" Nyaru asked.

"Yeah, they're out cold. Why?" Hamster asked.

"Alright, one of you is going to come with me to provide a distraction! Now who's going to come with me?" Nyaru asked.

"I'll do it!" Miroku spoke up.

"…Anyone?" Nyaru ignored him.

"Pick me! Pick me!" Miroku waved his hands around in the air.

"…Anyone at all?" Nyaru continued to ignore him.

"ME! PICK ME!" Miroku shouted.

"Sigh… alright, Miroku, you follow my lead," Nyaru told him.

Suddenly there was a loud crack and a flash as the pile of crates they were hiding behind exploded into millions of splinters! Everyone turned to see that Leblanc was growing impatient.

"Everyone! Scramble!" Natalee shouted as the nine of them took off to hide amongst various boxes.

Miroku closely followed Nyaru toward a small group of crates closest to where Leblanc was casting her magic. Nyaru then turned to him.

"Alright, you start the distraction and I'm going to grab Ormi's shield. If I'm right, it should have some protect against thunder attacks, if at all," Nyaru told him.

"Why can't we just get it together?" Miroku asked.

"Well, number one: if we go together, it's more likely she'll see us and kill us both, instead while one distracts and the other fetches, then only one of us gets killed. Mainly you. And number two: I don't trust you to go anywhere alone with me. So get out there!" Nyaru told him as she shoved him out into the open.

Miroku stumbled out into the open and turned back to see that Nyaru had already disappeared.

"Aww, damn. Why me?" Miroku sighed.

Miroku drew a deep breath and walked over to Leblanc. Leblanc was about to cast another spell to reveal the hidden friends when she noticed the young man approaching.

"What are you doing here, boy!" She hissed, as she switched her target to Miroku.

"Hey, I'm not all that younger than you," Miroku smirked, completely hiding his nervous 'oh my god I'm going to die' state. "So, how are you and the twins doing?"

"Excuse me?" Leblanc felt confused and put her hands on her hips. "I don't know any twins."

"Oh, you've known them for quite a while, and I think it's about time you introduced me to them," Miroku smirked as he stared at her chest.

Meanwhile, Nyaru crept passed the unconscious Ormi and grabbed his shield. Nyaru lifted it with a groan.

"Ugh. I never expected it to be this heavy," She whined as she began to head over to Miroku.

But before she could take another step something grabbed her ankle. She looked down to see Logos looking up at her with a smirk on his face.

"And where do you think you're going, little girl?" He asked, although his voice was a bit weak from exhaustion.

"Hmm, I don't know. How about: AWAY FROM YOU!" Nyaru told him and smacked him over the head with the shield, causing him to also fall unconscious.

Nyaru smiled at her handy work and ran off to help Miroku.

Meanwhile Miroku was still distracting Leblanc with his perverted "skills".

"Hey do those dispense beer too or are they both only calcium rich dairy products?" Miroku asked as he poked her chest.

"Grr… ENOUGH OF YOUR DISTRACTIONS!" Leblanc snapped and raised her hands in the air. "Prepare to be zapped, love!"

Thunder clapped above and Miroku watched helplessly as lightning rolled down from the heavy clouds and was about to strike him. Luckily Nyaru jumped in the way hold the shield above to protect them from the Thunder attack. As the lightning cleared Nyaru tossed the shield to the side.

"You owe me, Miroku," She hissed.

"I'll reward you myself with a good old heart-filled slap on the ass later," Miroku told her.

"Actually, how about just a thank you and we'll call it even," Nyaru rolled her eyes.

"Fine, your loss," Miroku shrugged.

"ENOUGH! You either surrender the Garment Grid or I fry you both!" Leblanc threatened as she raised her fan into the air, about to smack them.

"Maxx! NOW!" Nyaru shouted.

Maxx jumped out from her hiding spot and ordered, "NEKO GAUGE!"

Leblanc's expression soon changed as the feline lunged at her and began to scratch her face. As Neko retreated after a while, a cloud of darkness appeared in front of Leblanc's eyes, blocking her view.

"What the… Who turned off the lights? I demand you remove this status affect at once!" Leblanc shouted.

"Alright! It's working!" Nyaru smiled to herself. Nyaru turned back to the other crates. "Alright guys! ATTACK!"

Just as she said the word, the rest of them rushed out from their hiding spots and rushed Leblanc.

"GO NEKO!" Maxx commanded as Neko ran ahead and leaped at Leblanc once again.

Leblanc screamed as the furry animal landed on her face once more and began to scratch her fragile skin.

"NOT AGAIN! MY FACE! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" Leblanc screamed as she tore the creature off her face and threw it to the side.

"Neko! NO!" Maxx cried and ran to the aid of her cat.

Leblanc began to move around blindly, swinging her fan for she was still blinded by the Darkness status effect. The nine friends smirked and everyone except Nyaru, and Maxx who was who was nursing poor Neko, charged at Leblanc all at once, attacking her with their weapons. Suddenly the seven who were attacker were soon thrown off by a wave of thunder, throwing them into the air in every which direction. Maxx stopped nursing Neko and joined Nyaru as they both stood with their mouths agape as Leblanc limped out of the cloud of smoke. She was all beaten and bruised with a scratched up face, and the cloud of darkness was gone. Their friends lay on the ground and were groaning in pain.

"I-I'm not down yet, loves…" Leblanc wheezed. "NO ONE CAN DEFEAT, THE MIGHTY LEBLANC!"

"Talk about stubborn…" Maxx huffed.

"Indeed." Nyaru crossed her arms.

"Come on, we can take her," Maxx told Nyaru.

"Nope, we can't," Nyaru told her.

"Why not?" Maxx asked.

"Well, Neko looks like she could use some rest… and I dropped my sword when I took Ormi's shield," Nyaru explained.

"You WHAT!" Maxx exclaimed. "How can you be so calm?"

"Well usually I've learned that when in a situation like this, the heroes always get saved in the end by something completely random," Nyaru told her.

"THIS ISN'T A DAMN CARTOON!" Maxx snapped.

"Just wait for it…" Nyaru told her.

Leblanc continued to limp towards them. She stopped and raised her hands into the air.

"You are going to pay for what you and your friends did to my BEAUTIFUL FACE!" She snarled and began to chant a spell.

"Nyaru…" Maxx hissed.

"Wait for it…" Nyaru whispered.

Suddenly Hamster sat up and chanted a couple of words weakly. Right above Leblanc, formed a small bucket of water. The bucket slowly tipped over and dropped down, drenching the Syndicate leader. Leblanc's arms dropped to her side and she spit out water. She began to sway, and then fell flat on her face as the bucket landed on her butt. Maxx stared in disbelief.

"What… the… hell." Sekaya said slowly as she sat up with a groan.

The rest of the fallen friends began to sit up weakly and stared at Leblanc's KO'd body in surprise.

"Well, it wasn't an atomic explosion, but it'll have to do." Nyaru shrugged.

"Warn me next time when something immature like this is going to happen," Maxx glared at Nyaru as she petted Neko in her arms.

"Maybe. If it crosses my mind, that is," Nyaru smirked as she walked over to retrieve her sword that was sitting beside Ormi's unconscious body.

"Is everyone okay?" Adam asked everyone in general.

"I've fallen and I can't get up!" Miroku told her.

"…Anyone else?" Sekaya asked.

"Owie." Momo moaned as she rubbed her bottom.

"Absolutely inconceivable…" Jakob rubbed his back as he stood up.
Everyone else followed suit and stood up.

"Well, that had to be one of the most stupid plans ever." Sekaya sighed.

"Hey, you try making something up at the last minute!" Nyaru snapped.

"Well, we won so… What do we do now?" Adam asked.

"I can play the Fanfare with my nose!" Hamster offered.

"…Or we could not, and say we didn't." Jakob gave him a smirk.

"Well, we don't really have anywhere to go…" Momo noted.

"She's right. We have no place to stay, and no gil." Natalee sighed.

"Aww come on! I'm sure you girls could make lots of money with those bodies!" Miroku smirked.

Nyaru, Sekaya, Maxx, Natalee, and Momo punched Miroku in the face in unison. Miroku fell to the ground with a bloody nose.

"Anyway, back to our problem," Hamster rolled his eyes, "There is no way to get back home, and we have no place to stay, no food, and no money."

"Wait! Where's Paine and Rikku?" Momo exclaimed.

Everyone turned to find that Paine and Rikku, who were unconscious this whole time, were missing.

"Well they can't have gotten far with broken legs," Adam noted.

"Then they must have gotten help to get out of here while we were fighting," Momo suggested.

Suddenly there was a loud WOOSH. They all looked up to see a large red air ship swoop down beside the dock. An intercom crackled as an annoying voice announced:

"Alright Kiddies! All board!"

"Kiddies?" Nyaru scoffed, "We aren't 'Kiddies'!"

"Just get on the ship! Yuna wants a word with you," The intercom crackled.

Nyaru turned to the others.

"Well, shall we?" Nyaru smiled.

The others nodded and smiled as well.

The nine friends boarded the large airship. They gazed in wonder at all the bright lights and gadgets that were far beyond advanced from what they were used to. The halls were lined with lights. As the mechanical door opened, they gasped at the sight of the cockpit. The ooed and awed at how amazing it was. In the center of the cockpit was YRP all sitting in wheel chairs with casts on their legs and what they recognized to be Buddy, Shinra and Brother. They nine of them winced at the sight of YRP and felt guilt wash over them.

"So you're the ones who injured Yuna," Brother mused as he stepped forward to have a good look at them.

"Ahem!" Rikku coughed.

"…and injured Rikku and Paine as well," Brother rolled his eyes at his sister.

"Nice to know you CARE!" Rikku stuck her tongue at him.

Yuna rolled her wheelchair forward, past Brother.

"Nyaru was it?" Yuna asked.

Nyaru nodded.

"I would like to thank you for helping Rikku, Paine and I get my garment grid back," Yuna smiled sweetly.

"Hey, I didn't do it on my own, ya know," Nyaru placed a hand on her hip and gestured to her friends.

"Thank you, all of you," Yuna smiled.

"We're sorry about breaking your legs." Maxx said sheepishly.

"It's alright. Shinra said we should heal up in a matter of weeks." Yuna said.

"That's good. Again we all apologize," Sekaya bowed.

Brother's eyebrows shot up as he noticed Sekaya. He ran up close to her and gave her a seductive look.

"Well hello there." Brother smirked.

Sekaya would have comically sweat dropped, as would her eight friends, if this was an anime.

"…Anyway, we were wonder if you'd maybe like to join us?" Rikku asked as she rolled her wheelchair in front of them.

"WHAT? I am the leader! I MAKE THE DECISIONS!" Brother protested.

"Aww, come on, Brother," Yuna pouted.

"…Well, if it's okay with Yuna… Alright! You will be joining us!"

"Seriously?" Nyaru asked.

"Sounds like you don't have much of a choice," Paine said simply.

"What do ya say, guys?" Nyaru asked.

"Alright!" They all shouted in unison.

"Looks like its unanimous. The Shwee Squad is at you're service!" Nyaru shook Yuna's hand.

"Shwee Squad, eh?" Shinra mused.

"Welcome aboard!" Yuna smiled happily.

To Be Continued