"How long do you think he is going to stay like that?" asked Thomas quietly
from the doorway as he watched Van in the same state that he had been in
for the past few days.
"I would say until someone can find out a way to return the dead back to life. Without Fiona, he just doesn't seem to have any strength left to let him live any longer," said Ashley sadly as she look into the room as well.
"I feel really bad for him. He has worked harder then any of us for peace. So that when the time came and he was finally able to settle down, he would be able to live peacefully with Fiona and Kristi. All that has happened seemed to shatter that one dream of his that he has wanted more than anything else," said Thomas with a small frown on his face.
"Unfortunately the dead can't be brought back to life. If we could, we would. However that isn't the case. I would do anything to help him because he helped me by allowing me to regain control over my life. Yet there is nothing I can do. I feel so helpless right now," said Ashley with a frown on her face.
"Sooner or later Van will just have to find a way to get over this. Somehow though, I know that that will be impossible for him. Even if he were ever to smile again, it would have no meaning because we will all know that it is a fake smile. Fiona could always find a way to make him smile even in the darkest times. It is not what she does that makes him smile; it is just her being around him that does it. I used to be the exact same way," said Thomas with a sad look on his face.
"Do you know when the funeral is going to be?" asked Ashley quietly because she didn't want to really bring the subject up. "I would like to say goodbye to her. Thank her for all that she has done for me. I would have done it while she was alive if I had a chance, but all this happened before I could recover from what had happened to me," said Ashley with a frown.
"Fiona would probably like that. The funeral is going to be in two days. However, if Van remains in the state that he is in then he will most likely miss it. I somehow don't think he is going to come anyways. He will probably be stubborn and refuse to believe that she is actually gone. For now we should just leave him alone. He just won't listen to anything that we say. He needs to somehow deal with his guilt by himself. He bares pains that some of us can't even comprehend. Not only physically but mentally. His physical wounds have healed. However he blames himself for allowing this to happen to her. We all know that he would have prevented it if he could, but in the condition that he was in at the time that we arrived it is no wonder that we couldn't do anything. Damn it! We could have helped if we had only gotten there a little sooner," growled Thomas as he slammed his fist against the wall.
"Don't start to blame yourself for this happening. All of us have part in it but none of us are the ones responsible for this happening. Van needs to understand this in order for him to begin to recover," said Ashley putting a comforting hand on Thomas's shoulder.
"I know, but how are we going to be able to convince him of this fact. He refuses to listen. Do you have any ways that we might be able to tell him this and actually have him listen?" asked Thomas.
"That is an easy answer to come up with. All we have to do is leave him alone. In time he may be able to come to terms with it, but we need to let him do it on his own for now. When he is finally ready to talk to us about it, then that is when we can try," said Ashley as if it was a fact.
"When will he ever be able to actually turn to us in order for us to be able to help him through this. At this rate he will die from the grief of all that has been going on," said Thomas in a soft voice.
"He won't. He knows that he can't. He has a daughter that he knows he has to take care of. He won't leave her alone in the world without either of her parents. I am sure that he will makes sure to stay alive for just her," said Ashley with a small smile despite the situation.
"How is Kristi doing about this anyways?" asked Thomas realizing that he hadn't seen her around for a while. "I bet that she is suffering over this as much as Van," said Thomas with a frown.
"She is young. She doesn't completely understand all that is going on. She does know what something bad has happened to her mother. You know that she would be sad with knowing just that. For a while Fiona was all that Kristi had. She only had her mother since Fiona had run away from Van before she was even born. So you would know that she cared for her mother more than anything," said Ashley. "The sooner that Van can get over this the more attention he can give her to help her to get over it as well," Ashley continued sadly.
"You are right. Let's just give him a little time to himself. That is the only way that he will ever get over this. When he is ready he will come to us but that won't happen anytime soon," said Thomas with a frown.
*****
Van found himself floating in pure darkness. He couldn't move, he couldn't see. It was like his body refused to obey any of his commands. He had been like this ever since that day.
"Oh Van," came the voice of Fiona. Suddenly an image appeared in front of Van. Fiona seemed to stand there without a scratch on her. she was just as beautiful as Van could remember her.
"Fiona! You're alive?" said Van. He was finally being able to move his body. He reached out for her hoping to grab a hold of her before she disappeared from his life again. He couldn't seem to be able to touch her though.
"No Van. I am not. You saw all that had happened. You know that I am dead just as much as I know that fact. I am sorry for doing this to you and our daughter. However, I hate you for how you have been acting about it. How are you going to get revenge for me if you are just laying around like that? To everyone else, you are as good as dead," said Fiona with a scowl on her face.
"Is that why you are here for, to yell at me?" asked Van with a small frown on his face as he looked at the area where there should have been a floor. He desperately wished that it was the real Fiona that he was talking to and not just his dreams.
"No. I have come to warn you. Something is about to happen that you may not be prepared for. When it happens I want to you stay near our daughter and protect her with everything you've got. Please Van. I am begging you to do this as my final wish. You have to get up and stop blaming yourself though. if you could have you would have but in your state it was impossible for you to do anything. So please stop blaming yourself. You are just making things far worse. Once again I am sorry for leaving you," said Fiona as she slowly started to fade away.
"Fiona!" yelled Van running up to her but by the time that he managed to get there it was already too late because she had already vanished. "I'm sorry too," said Van quietly as a tear fell down his face.
*****
Van shot up in the bed that he had been laying in. He felt lousy at that moment. It was probably because of how hungry he felt. After all. He hadn't eaten in a couple of days. "What did Fiona mean by that?" Van asked himself as he laid his head in his hands.
"So you finally decided to walk up huh?" came Irvine's voice from the doorway into the room. Irvine walked a little closer but Van just remained silent. "Fiona's funeral is today. Are you going to be coming?" asked Irvine with a sympathetic expression on his face.
"I don't know," was the only thought that was able to come to Van's mind. "I really need some time to clear my head. I was supposed to protect her and I failed. How am I supposed to face her while that is on my mind?" asked Van in a quiet voice.
"Fiona probably doesn't think that you failed her. She knows that you did your best when the time came. You should be thinking that also. What do you think that Fiona would be saying if she saw you in this condition?" asked Irvine.
Van suddenly remembered his dream that he had just had. Yet he remained silent. He didn't want to talk about it at that moment. It would only bring him more pain over time.
"Fine. You don't have to come. It would be respectful of Fiona for you to come. You should just think that over for a little while," said Irvine trying to sound at least a little comforting while he was speaking. He then walked out of the room without another word.
Van didn't even stand up after Irvine had left. He didn't want to admit it but he knew that Irvine was right in a couple of ways. "What am I going to do now?" asked Van in a sad voice as he laid his head in his hands again. "Should I go with them, or stay here and sort out my thoughts?" Van asked himself as he remained seated on the bed.
*****
"So he didn't decide to come," said a disappointed Moonbay when she looked around the place but she wasn't able to find Van. 'I thought for sure that he would have come once he woke up. So why isn't he here?' Moonbay wondered to herself.
She held Kristi's hand tightly. Irvine was to her other side and on the other side of Irvine were Thomas and Ashley. Everyone was confused as well by Van's lack of appearance. She was his fiancée and yet he refused to come.
"Van has a lot on his mind. He will come when he is ready," said Irvine while putting a comforting hand on Moonbay's shoulder as they stood in front of Fiona's grave. Irvine could tell that at that moment Moonbay was barely holding back her tears. He really couldn't blame her either. They had both lost someone very close to them because of this. He hated to admit it but he actually felt like doing the exact same thing as Moonbay at that very moment.
A few moments later the inevitable happened. Moonbay started to cry. "I can't believe that she is gone. Not too long ago she was with us alive and well," said Moonbay as she tightened her grip on the confused yet saddened Kristi.
"That right. Just let it all out," said Irvine in a comforting voice as he pulled Moonbay into his arms and just allowed her to cry into his shirt until she was finished crying.
Everyone remained silent after that if you didn't include the sounds of Moonbay's crying. Nobody wanted to speak either. The just stood there in silence as if expecting Fiona to just show up. None of their wishes came true though.
*****
Off in the shadows a figure stood watching it all with a sad look on his face. A few moments passed and he saw them all start to walk away from the grave sight. Very quietly he came out of the shadows when he was sure they were gone.
"Hey there Fiona," said Van in a quiet voice as he placed some flowers on the grave. "Sorry I didn't come with the rest of them, but I felt that I needed to do this on my own," said Van as he felt tears start to come to his eyes. He didn't even try to hold them back though. "It is so hard being here without you Fiona. I don't want to be alone. Not again, I don't want to be alone again," said Van as he fell to his hands and knees and he let his tears fall.
A tender hand was felt on his shoulder. Van turned his head to see his daughter. She was crying just like him. he pulled her into his arms. "Daddy, I want mommy," cried Kristi as Van put a tight embrace around her.
Van didn't say anything as he let his daughter just cry. He looked up to see everyone there watching it with a sad faces on. He wanted to say something but nothing seemed to come out of his mouth.
Moonbay took a step forward. "You are not alone Van. We will all be here to help you whenever you need it," said Moonbay in a soft voice. Everyone else agreed with her. "We are all here for you," repeated Moonbay as she embraced Van in a sisterly hug.
After a while Van was finally able to calm down a little bit. "Come on. Let's head back. I think that all of us have had enough for one day," said Irvine with a sad tone in his voice as he turned to leave.
Van didn't say more as he stood up and followed after Irvine and his friends. All this had been too much for him to take. 'This is just like my father. My mother died when Maria and I were young and he had to look after us by himself. Now I have to look after my child without the mother,' thought Van with a sad look on his face. 'Why did you have to leave me Fiona?' asked a quiet Van as he tried to hold back the next wave of tears that were threatening to fall.
All was now quiet around the area. It had been a number of minutes since everyone had left the gravesite. A shadow approached the grave. The rain started to fall upon him as a smirk crossed his face.
"I would say until someone can find out a way to return the dead back to life. Without Fiona, he just doesn't seem to have any strength left to let him live any longer," said Ashley sadly as she look into the room as well.
"I feel really bad for him. He has worked harder then any of us for peace. So that when the time came and he was finally able to settle down, he would be able to live peacefully with Fiona and Kristi. All that has happened seemed to shatter that one dream of his that he has wanted more than anything else," said Thomas with a small frown on his face.
"Unfortunately the dead can't be brought back to life. If we could, we would. However that isn't the case. I would do anything to help him because he helped me by allowing me to regain control over my life. Yet there is nothing I can do. I feel so helpless right now," said Ashley with a frown on her face.
"Sooner or later Van will just have to find a way to get over this. Somehow though, I know that that will be impossible for him. Even if he were ever to smile again, it would have no meaning because we will all know that it is a fake smile. Fiona could always find a way to make him smile even in the darkest times. It is not what she does that makes him smile; it is just her being around him that does it. I used to be the exact same way," said Thomas with a sad look on his face.
"Do you know when the funeral is going to be?" asked Ashley quietly because she didn't want to really bring the subject up. "I would like to say goodbye to her. Thank her for all that she has done for me. I would have done it while she was alive if I had a chance, but all this happened before I could recover from what had happened to me," said Ashley with a frown.
"Fiona would probably like that. The funeral is going to be in two days. However, if Van remains in the state that he is in then he will most likely miss it. I somehow don't think he is going to come anyways. He will probably be stubborn and refuse to believe that she is actually gone. For now we should just leave him alone. He just won't listen to anything that we say. He needs to somehow deal with his guilt by himself. He bares pains that some of us can't even comprehend. Not only physically but mentally. His physical wounds have healed. However he blames himself for allowing this to happen to her. We all know that he would have prevented it if he could, but in the condition that he was in at the time that we arrived it is no wonder that we couldn't do anything. Damn it! We could have helped if we had only gotten there a little sooner," growled Thomas as he slammed his fist against the wall.
"Don't start to blame yourself for this happening. All of us have part in it but none of us are the ones responsible for this happening. Van needs to understand this in order for him to begin to recover," said Ashley putting a comforting hand on Thomas's shoulder.
"I know, but how are we going to be able to convince him of this fact. He refuses to listen. Do you have any ways that we might be able to tell him this and actually have him listen?" asked Thomas.
"That is an easy answer to come up with. All we have to do is leave him alone. In time he may be able to come to terms with it, but we need to let him do it on his own for now. When he is finally ready to talk to us about it, then that is when we can try," said Ashley as if it was a fact.
"When will he ever be able to actually turn to us in order for us to be able to help him through this. At this rate he will die from the grief of all that has been going on," said Thomas in a soft voice.
"He won't. He knows that he can't. He has a daughter that he knows he has to take care of. He won't leave her alone in the world without either of her parents. I am sure that he will makes sure to stay alive for just her," said Ashley with a small smile despite the situation.
"How is Kristi doing about this anyways?" asked Thomas realizing that he hadn't seen her around for a while. "I bet that she is suffering over this as much as Van," said Thomas with a frown.
"She is young. She doesn't completely understand all that is going on. She does know what something bad has happened to her mother. You know that she would be sad with knowing just that. For a while Fiona was all that Kristi had. She only had her mother since Fiona had run away from Van before she was even born. So you would know that she cared for her mother more than anything," said Ashley. "The sooner that Van can get over this the more attention he can give her to help her to get over it as well," Ashley continued sadly.
"You are right. Let's just give him a little time to himself. That is the only way that he will ever get over this. When he is ready he will come to us but that won't happen anytime soon," said Thomas with a frown.
*****
Van found himself floating in pure darkness. He couldn't move, he couldn't see. It was like his body refused to obey any of his commands. He had been like this ever since that day.
"Oh Van," came the voice of Fiona. Suddenly an image appeared in front of Van. Fiona seemed to stand there without a scratch on her. she was just as beautiful as Van could remember her.
"Fiona! You're alive?" said Van. He was finally being able to move his body. He reached out for her hoping to grab a hold of her before she disappeared from his life again. He couldn't seem to be able to touch her though.
"No Van. I am not. You saw all that had happened. You know that I am dead just as much as I know that fact. I am sorry for doing this to you and our daughter. However, I hate you for how you have been acting about it. How are you going to get revenge for me if you are just laying around like that? To everyone else, you are as good as dead," said Fiona with a scowl on her face.
"Is that why you are here for, to yell at me?" asked Van with a small frown on his face as he looked at the area where there should have been a floor. He desperately wished that it was the real Fiona that he was talking to and not just his dreams.
"No. I have come to warn you. Something is about to happen that you may not be prepared for. When it happens I want to you stay near our daughter and protect her with everything you've got. Please Van. I am begging you to do this as my final wish. You have to get up and stop blaming yourself though. if you could have you would have but in your state it was impossible for you to do anything. So please stop blaming yourself. You are just making things far worse. Once again I am sorry for leaving you," said Fiona as she slowly started to fade away.
"Fiona!" yelled Van running up to her but by the time that he managed to get there it was already too late because she had already vanished. "I'm sorry too," said Van quietly as a tear fell down his face.
*****
Van shot up in the bed that he had been laying in. He felt lousy at that moment. It was probably because of how hungry he felt. After all. He hadn't eaten in a couple of days. "What did Fiona mean by that?" Van asked himself as he laid his head in his hands.
"So you finally decided to walk up huh?" came Irvine's voice from the doorway into the room. Irvine walked a little closer but Van just remained silent. "Fiona's funeral is today. Are you going to be coming?" asked Irvine with a sympathetic expression on his face.
"I don't know," was the only thought that was able to come to Van's mind. "I really need some time to clear my head. I was supposed to protect her and I failed. How am I supposed to face her while that is on my mind?" asked Van in a quiet voice.
"Fiona probably doesn't think that you failed her. She knows that you did your best when the time came. You should be thinking that also. What do you think that Fiona would be saying if she saw you in this condition?" asked Irvine.
Van suddenly remembered his dream that he had just had. Yet he remained silent. He didn't want to talk about it at that moment. It would only bring him more pain over time.
"Fine. You don't have to come. It would be respectful of Fiona for you to come. You should just think that over for a little while," said Irvine trying to sound at least a little comforting while he was speaking. He then walked out of the room without another word.
Van didn't even stand up after Irvine had left. He didn't want to admit it but he knew that Irvine was right in a couple of ways. "What am I going to do now?" asked Van in a sad voice as he laid his head in his hands again. "Should I go with them, or stay here and sort out my thoughts?" Van asked himself as he remained seated on the bed.
*****
"So he didn't decide to come," said a disappointed Moonbay when she looked around the place but she wasn't able to find Van. 'I thought for sure that he would have come once he woke up. So why isn't he here?' Moonbay wondered to herself.
She held Kristi's hand tightly. Irvine was to her other side and on the other side of Irvine were Thomas and Ashley. Everyone was confused as well by Van's lack of appearance. She was his fiancée and yet he refused to come.
"Van has a lot on his mind. He will come when he is ready," said Irvine while putting a comforting hand on Moonbay's shoulder as they stood in front of Fiona's grave. Irvine could tell that at that moment Moonbay was barely holding back her tears. He really couldn't blame her either. They had both lost someone very close to them because of this. He hated to admit it but he actually felt like doing the exact same thing as Moonbay at that very moment.
A few moments later the inevitable happened. Moonbay started to cry. "I can't believe that she is gone. Not too long ago she was with us alive and well," said Moonbay as she tightened her grip on the confused yet saddened Kristi.
"That right. Just let it all out," said Irvine in a comforting voice as he pulled Moonbay into his arms and just allowed her to cry into his shirt until she was finished crying.
Everyone remained silent after that if you didn't include the sounds of Moonbay's crying. Nobody wanted to speak either. The just stood there in silence as if expecting Fiona to just show up. None of their wishes came true though.
*****
Off in the shadows a figure stood watching it all with a sad look on his face. A few moments passed and he saw them all start to walk away from the grave sight. Very quietly he came out of the shadows when he was sure they were gone.
"Hey there Fiona," said Van in a quiet voice as he placed some flowers on the grave. "Sorry I didn't come with the rest of them, but I felt that I needed to do this on my own," said Van as he felt tears start to come to his eyes. He didn't even try to hold them back though. "It is so hard being here without you Fiona. I don't want to be alone. Not again, I don't want to be alone again," said Van as he fell to his hands and knees and he let his tears fall.
A tender hand was felt on his shoulder. Van turned his head to see his daughter. She was crying just like him. he pulled her into his arms. "Daddy, I want mommy," cried Kristi as Van put a tight embrace around her.
Van didn't say anything as he let his daughter just cry. He looked up to see everyone there watching it with a sad faces on. He wanted to say something but nothing seemed to come out of his mouth.
Moonbay took a step forward. "You are not alone Van. We will all be here to help you whenever you need it," said Moonbay in a soft voice. Everyone else agreed with her. "We are all here for you," repeated Moonbay as she embraced Van in a sisterly hug.
After a while Van was finally able to calm down a little bit. "Come on. Let's head back. I think that all of us have had enough for one day," said Irvine with a sad tone in his voice as he turned to leave.
Van didn't say more as he stood up and followed after Irvine and his friends. All this had been too much for him to take. 'This is just like my father. My mother died when Maria and I were young and he had to look after us by himself. Now I have to look after my child without the mother,' thought Van with a sad look on his face. 'Why did you have to leave me Fiona?' asked a quiet Van as he tried to hold back the next wave of tears that were threatening to fall.
All was now quiet around the area. It had been a number of minutes since everyone had left the gravesite. A shadow approached the grave. The rain started to fall upon him as a smirk crossed his face.
