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Disclaimer: Nope, Final Fantasy 8 does not belong to me. It belongs to umm.. squaresoft or whoever its rightful owners are. I own none of the characters and this is written purely for my own entertainment and I do not make any profit from it whatsoever. =)
Selphie entered the cafeteria, stomach growling in hunger. 'Geez, I wonder what happened to Squall and Ifrit, haven't seen them since the show yesterday.' She lined up quickly to make sure there were still good food left. A tap on her shoulder made the small girl turn around.
Selphie: Hey! What are you doing here?
Quistis: I do live here, Selphie.
Selphie: Well, it's just you never leave that cubicle of yours, so we all just assume you left Garden, that's all.
Quistis: Cubicle!!!! That's my office!! (Many people turned around to stare at who was screaming so loud.)
Selphie: Right… (rolls her eyes)
Quistis: Well, I just came here to see how Zell is.
Selphie: Why would you come to the cafeteria then? (after a second of silence, a light bulb lights up on top of Selphie's head) Oh! That's right, he's always in the cafeteria! If you're looking for him today though, he's in the infirmary.
Quistis: Why's that? Is he hurt?
Selphie: No big deal, just got smashed by Ifrit, that's all.
Quistis: Then I better bring him some hotdogs later.
Selphie: Hey! good idea, I'll come with you.
Twenty minutes later, the two girls arrive at the infirmary carrying armfuls of hotdogs.
Selphie: Knock, Knock, anyone home?
Qusitis: Oh, Zell…we got a surprise for you.
Zell: (Suspicious of who it may be, he grabbed his bat and ready to swing it as he opened the door)
Selphie: Waaah!!! Zell, you almost killed me! (As the bat missed, but just one inch from her face)
Quistis: We brought you some hotdogs. We know it's your favorite. (she smiled as she settled the hotdogs down on the table)
Zell: Quistis! Selphie! What are you doing here? And how did you manage to get so many hotdogs?
Selphie: (Smiling mischievously) A little thing called blackmail.
Zell: (grabs several hotdogs and began stuffing them into his mouth, grunting out some incoherent words)
Quistis: I think he wants to know what the blackmail is, Selphie.
Selphie: Promise you wouldn't tell anyone. Quistis, remember how we sneaked into the cafeteria at midnight? The time Irvine dared us to? Well…we found some pretty disgusting stuff in there.
Zell: (Nodding as he continue to devour the hotdogs)
Quistis: Yeah, it was pretty dark in there, and-
Selphie: They have chunks of cut up people!!! All over the place, I mean in the refrigerator, on the counters, everywhere!!
Quistis: Haha, Selphie, it was only defrosted chicken.
Selphie: And!!!! they use Grade F Meat!!!! I saw it on the labels!!
Zell: (his eyes widen as he almost spit out his hotdogs)
Selphie: Yea, the hotdogs too, grade F.
Quistis gasped as Zell promptly fainted.
*At Seifer's Room*
Seifer: Squall, you better come out of there. It really doesn't suit the Commander of Garden to be hiding under the bed.
Squall: He's gonna get me.
Seifer: Squall!! Come out! (Reaches in and pulls Squall out by the arm, or he attempted to, anyways)
Squall: Noooo!!! I won't and you can't make me!
Seifer: Stop being a baby and come out! You are going to have to face him someday.
Squall: Someday, but not today!
Seifer: Fine, but when he comes in, I'll tell him you're under the bed.
Squall: You wouldn't.
Seifer: I would.
Squall: You wouldn't.
Seifer: Yes I would.
Squall: No you won't.
Seifer: Squall! Come on, get out from under there!
Squall: No……….
Seifer: (With an evil grin on his face) You know, there are spiders under there.
Squall: You're lying.
Seifer: No I'm not. I haven't cleaned under the bed for a while. I won't be surprised if there's ants and termites there too.
Squall: You are just trying to get me to come out. (Squall began to feel paranoid, and little imaginary insects tickling his legs)
Seifer: Suit yourself, I'm going to take a nice clean shower. Those bugs aren't gonna get me.
Squall: ……………
Seifer: I'm going!
Squall: ………………………Seifer?
Seifer: Yes? (Sticking his head under the bed) Are you coming out?
Squall: Insects?
Seifer: Yes.
Squall looked totally creeped out as he crawled out from under the bed and ran to the bathroom as fast as his legs will carry him. He began stripping off his clothes just to see if any insects were on him. Then he turned on the shower and rinsed himself clean. Within five minutes, he came out of the shower in a big fluffy white towel.
Squall: Seifer? You don't happen to have any spare clothes do you?
Seifer: Nope. Guess you just have to go around naked huh? Just not your day, commander.
Squall: …………… (glares at Seifer) …………
Seifer: (swallows nervously under Squall's death glare) ………Fine, it's over there!
Squall: (got dressed and cringes as a loud knock sounded through the door) ……… Don't answer …
Seifer: Yes? Who is it?
Squall: You're dead Almasy.
Voice: It's me!! Is Squall with you by the way?
Seifer: Squall???
Squall: Tell and I'll chop you to pieces. (Ultimate death glare)
Seifer: (chuckles) Squall… ya why he's right here! Come on in Mr. President.
Laguna: (a big grin, stretching across his face, looking a bit like a clown, strolled in) Hey son!! Want to give your dad a hug?
Squall: ……no (gasps in surprise as he was tackled and pinned by a giant bear…well, just his dad, but the way his hug is, he could be a bear)
Seifer: See? I knew you two will get along.
Squall: (death glare, death glare, death glare. If his glare was a laser, Seifer's room would've been smoked in ruins.)
Laguna: You know, I just thought we could spend some quality time together. After all, I could get to know Seifer better too.
Squall: (blink) Seifer's coming with us?
Laguna: Of course! Don't you dare leave your lover out of this!!
Seifer: (sweatdrop)
Squall: Seifer is NOT my lover. (glares some more at Seifer, then grabs him by the arms and dragged him into the next room) Why would he think we're lovers Seifer???
Seifer: You're dad's crazy, everyone knows. Hehe…
Squall: …………
Seifer: Hey don't look at me like that! It wasn't my fault really.
Squall: …………
Seifer: (gulps) Well, look at the time, not good to keep your dad waiting! (and he practically ran out of the room)
Squall: ………… (as he quickly follows Seifer)
Seifer: (gasp) OMG!! Laguna what are you doing??
Squall: (puts his hands over his forehead. He felt a headache coming)
Laguna: Hey kids! Look what I found in Seifer's room, pretty kinky guy isn't he Squall?? Well, I'm glad you're having some fun with each other, I mean Squall definitely needs it!! (holding up a dildo in his hand and waving it around as he speaks)
Squall: (looks at Seifer then puts his face into his hands, mumbling) this is not happening.
Laguna: Oh, and this! (picks up a pair of handcuffs and some rope) Never thought you liked being tied up. (then picks up another dildo, pushes a button) Hehe… it vibrates. Look at it go!
Squall: (his face all red now, drags Laguna out of the room, wanting to leave as soon as possible)
Laguna: Hey!! I'm not done yet.
Squall: yes you are.
Seifer: (stops them both as they step out the door) Uh… Laguna, wanna give me back my vibrator?
Squall: (looks at Laguna's hands, still holding the dildo. Then he snatches it and threw it across Seifer's room)
Seifer: That cost a lot of money… Squall………now we can't use it…………
Squall: (death glare)
Laguna: Please, don't get into your first fight because of me. Anyways, I know just how to solve this. Lets go eat! (grins as he turned around and bumped into a wall)
Squall: Laguna, I'll lead the way.
*At the Restaurant*
Seifer: Wow, it's so nice of your dad to treat us. I'm definitely going to order a lot.
Squall: ………don't talk to me……
Laguna: Aww… are you two still fighting? How cute. (smiles) So what are u ordering??
Squall: Salad.
Laguna: Salad!!! Squall, you're having more than that! Look you're only skin and bones!! (pinches Squall)
Squall: ………don't touch me……I just want salad.
Seifer: Umm… Mr. Laguna, since Squall's not ordering much, can I order his share too??
Laguna: Of course! (smiles and then sweatdrops as Seifer went on and ordered six main courses) (whispers to Squall) Are you sure he can finish all that by himself??
Squall: You'd be surprise.
Ten minutes later, the food came and all of them started to eat.
Seifer: Umm… Squall…(pokes Squall) Isn't that your GF? (points to the window next to them)
Squall: No. Lets eat.
Seifer: Really… I think that's Ifrit. You know, red fur, horns, temper, I think that's him.
Squall: NO. You are wrong.
Seifer: I think he's hungry. Look at the way he's looking at us.
Ifrit: (whines as he presses his face to the glass)
Seifer: Really, Squall, I think that's Iftrit! Can't you see him? He's only three feet away.
Squall: No.
Seifer: Fine. (and continues to eat)
Five minutes later.
Seifer: He's still looking at us. (he said as Ifrit presses his face even more to the glass, compressing his features)
Laguna: Who's looking at us? (looks around and spots Ifrit) Oh, my. He's a rather big doggy isn't he? I think he's hungry. Aren't you hungry, little doggy? (he waves his steak around as he talked)
Squall: (sweatdrop) I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Laguna: Come on, I'm done eating. I want to see this doggy. (Grabs his steak and ran outside to Ifrit)
Squall and Seifer followed, ignoring the cry of the waiter saying something about the bill.
Squall: Oh, man… (as he saw Laguna playing catch with Ifrit)
Laguna: Hello doggy. Do you have a name? Hmm… (seems to think) I think I'll call you Spot! Here Spot, come here Spot! Want a steak?? (throws steak across the street)
Ifrit: (catches steak as it was in midair)
Laguna: Wow, he's good.
Ifrit: (looks and spots Squall) Squall? Ifrit Looked For You.
Squall: (pretending to be surprised) Ifrit? Hehe Where have you been?
Ifrit: Run. Kill. Eat.
Laguna: Hey! Spot can talk! That is so cool.
Ifrit: Ifrit Tired. Sleep Now.
Squall: Fine. (as he unsummoned the GF, letting him rest)
Laguna: Waa…Where's Spot? ( looking completely baffled)
Seifer: (Sighed) Come on Laguna, we'll bring you back to your hotel.
Thanks for all your reviews!! Seriously, I like the first one better…And yes I know some characters are OOC. It was done on purpose. Maybe someday, I'll write a real story with Squall and Seifer, but this is just for fun. ^_^
