Lana sat on the grass, on the tree closest to the lake. Although it was near the end of November, it was oddly warm. The sun managed to show itself through the thin layer of cloud, and there was no wind. She had no classes on a Wednesday afternoon, and she often came and sat out here, just looking out on the lake, wondering what kind of beasties were in it. She was wearing some light blue cord trousers, slung low, and a thick, white polo neck, which was thick enough to keep her warm with no top on underneath, but Lana had pulled on a white halter anyway. She had curled her hair the night before, and now it hung perfectly around her face. It had irritated her somewhat that the curls were never even, some were shorter, some tighter, some looser...But after the first 5 attempts to get them all the same, she decided that it looked better odd.

She sat thinking about Sirius, about what had happened Monday, and she couldnt believe that she had gotten that caught up in him. She both loved and despised the effect that he had on her. Lana blushed slightly at just the memory of it. They hadnt gotten very far, because Sirius had backed off, leaving Lana feeling hurt. Had he finally just lost intrest? On Tuesday's detention, Sirius had tried to talk to her many times during the first hour, but she just answered him with one word answers, or ignored him. Lana felt kinda bad that she had given him the brush off, but at that moment, she hated the effect that Sirius had on her.

And, hes given enough girls the brush off. But there you go again, she thought, thinking about his past. Just think about here and now. Youre not even going out with him and you were getting all pashy, as Lily called it when Lana had told her. Apparently, Sirius had told James, and from the looks that Remus and Peter kept giving her, they both figured James had told them as well. Lana just shrugged it off. Who cares? Let him tell who he wants...Not like he had alot to brag about.

Not only that....Since she had used the spell that her mother had showed her on the few times that shed actually been around in all Lanas 14 years, shed been thinking about her a lot. It was coming up to Christmas and it had been almost 3 months since Lana had spoken to her. She decided that shed send her mother a letter at the end of the week, when shed had a good chance to think about what she was gonna write, exactly.."Hey mum. Sorry for telling the truth about me having to practically raise myself because youre always at your fucking job. Oh, and, by the way, it would help if I knew who my father was, seeing as I look nothing like you. And I miss you. I want you around more often. All I ever want is for you to accept me for who I am, although Im not even sure who I am." The argument had gotten more and more heated, with Lana telling her mum that she hated her. She hated her because she wrecked her life, because she always lies, and that she is always on a suicide mission working as an Unspeakable, and one day shed wind up dead earlier than she should be. Lana had never had the love from her mother that she wanted...Lana was treated more like a sister than a daughter.

Lana opened the packet of Honeydukes fudge that she had brought and popped a piece into her mouth and chewed. A shadow flew across the sun for a split second, and Lana looked up to see an owl flying around in front of her.

"Come here"she called to it. Lana undid the letter from its leg and it flew off.

Lana Madison (the front read) Tree by the Lake Hogwarts

Lana frowned as she turned it over and saw that the Ministry of Magic : Department of Mysteries stamped on the back in thick red wax, sealing it. Lanas breathing speeded up and she knew what it was before she opened it...

"Oh my god..." Lana said as she slowly tore open the envelope and took the thick wad of parchment from it. Tears ran down Lanas face...

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Christies cackling laughter rang through the Common Room as she pushed her way through the portrait. "Guess you got rid of the kid once and for all then babe" she drawled as she walked over to where Sirius was sat on the couch, and she draped her arms around him.

"Fuck off Christie" he growled, shoving her away and moving onto the arm of the couch.

"Why do you say that Christie?" Lily asked.

Christie flicked her hair,grinning wickedly. "The kids sat crying outside on the grounds."

Sirius stood up. "What did you say this time?" he raised his wand.

"I didnt say anything, you dipshit. Thats why I asked what YOUD done."

Lily looked at Sirius.

"Im gonna ask you this once Christie, and then Im gonna get pissed off." Sirius told her, "Where is she?"

"Oooo touchy arent we?" Christie said.

"I'll find her myself then" Sirius muttered something and Christies face was covered in boils.

"Sirius!" said Lily, sounding shocked, but Sirius had already gone through the portrait.

James laughed. "It'll wear off...eventually..." as Christie ran off shrieking.

**************************************

Sirius quickly found her. He had sat with her in this spot a few times. He saw Lana was crying, and stood there...not knowing what to do.

A shadow fell over Lana she knew it was Sirius before she even looked up. She wiped her eyes and looked up at him, as she was sat leaning against the tree, the parchment crumpled in her right hand.

Sirius stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around, then at her. "Are you okay?"

"Stupid question. Do I look okay?"

"Yeah..It was a stupid question." he sighed and looked around again.

"Looking for the blonde are we? Got a new girl already? I mean, I figure its been, what, 5 days, and after the other night when - and then you just backed off, I figured youd lost intrest and gone off with someone else." Lana spat, sarcastically and with a tone of anger and jealousy.

Sirius looked down into her eyes and looked into them for a few minutes. From the look on his face and the look in his eyes, Lana could tell that she had hurt him by saying this. But she didnt give a fuck. No-one could be in as much pain as she was now, and well, shed dish it out if she had to.

"Do you really think Id do that? Do you think Id get you all wound up like that on Monday and then go on to some other girl? Do you think that little of me?" he asked, looking right at her.

"I dont know. Would you?" she said, raising her eyebrows and lookin at him, then looking away.

"If thats what youre crying about, me backing off, then - " Sirius stopped, mid-sentence, mainly due to the fact that Lana had just stood up and slapped him, hard.

She gave a dry, hollow laugh. "Oh, youd love that wouldnt you? Me crying over that.." Lana knew it was unfair to lash out at Sirius, but he was there and she was angry and upset.

"No...No I wouldnt" he said, looking at her in shock, rubbing his cheek.

Lana sat back down. "There are - or were - " she choked, trying not to cry in front of him. "More important people than you."

Sirius stood there, still now knowing what to do, but he felt so bad for her...Not pitying her, but...caring that she was in pain, and because she was in pain...So was he. Lana thrust the crumpled piece of parchment up at him, and he took and sat down.

Then Lana stood up.

"There. There you go. Thats why Im so fucking upset. Thats why Im crying. Because my mother was fucking murdered. Oh, it doesnt say it, but I know she was. She was an Unspeakable. They all die like that. So do Aurors." Lana stood, arms folded, pulling on her jumper, tapping her foot, biting her lip, trying desperately not to cry.

As Sirius read the parchment and listened to Lana talk, he felt his heart breaking for her.

"Dead. Just....dropped dead apparently. APPARENTLY" Lana shouted, then put her shaking hands over her face. "This just tops my fucking week off this does, first we break up, my fault I know, and then Lucius, and then we get - and then were not. And now this...arghhh" Lana clutched at her hair, wanting to pull it out.

Sirius stood up slowly and walked over to her, his eyes glassy, him hurting to see her in so much pain, hating that shes in pain and he cant even begin to help her.

Finally, Lana couldnt hold back the tears any longer and they came cascading down her face and she put her hands over face, ashamed that she was crying in front Sirius. Lana expected him to turn and leave. But he walked over and wrapped his arms around her. Lana was more grateful to him in that moment for doing that than he would ever know. She lay her head on his chest, her hands wiping at her tears as he held her close.

Then she pushed him away and looked at him.

"Why do you even care?" she asked, accusingly, still crying, looking at him.

"Because I love you"

It took a few seconds for both Sirius and Lana to realise what he had said.

"W-what?" she said, stopping crying because of the shock.

"I said...Because...and then I just....stopped talking" he said, wondering why the hell he said that....and he realised in that moment that he did love her.

Lana just stared at him.

"I love you" he repeated, amending what he said he had said....

Lana shook her head in disbelief. "I just....I cant deal with this....I cant deal with any of this"

"Lana, I - "

Lana threw him one last lookof utter disbelief and walked off backwards, still staring at him, and then turning after a few metres and breaking into a run. Lana just couldnt believe anything that happened in the past few hours...Her mum dying, Sirius saying that he loved her...or did he? She couldnt tell.