(NOTE: SORRY ABOUT THE SHORTNESS OF THE CHAPTERS, BUT IVE BEEN REALLY TIRED
THIS WEEKEND, BUT I PROMISE ILL UPDATE THIS CHAPTER MAYBE TOMOROW OR THE
DAY AFTER, AND IT WILL BE LONG, COS I WANNA WRAP UP THIS PATICULARE
FLASHBACK AND GET BACK TO "real time". *kEeP rEvIwInG pLeAsE* Rvampire
- Can I just say that, as you, author of...0 stories, you obviously have no
idea how hard it is to write. I have a busy life, and Im sorry, but having
a life comes before sitting my a$$ in front of the computer. If you had
bothered to read what i wrote above, you would notice that I said wanna
wrap up the flashback and get back to Harry. I dont mind constructive
criticism, but you were just basing it on the fact that you read fast.
Which is not my problem. And again, if you had read above, you would see
that I said I would update the chapter soon. Making it longer. So there,
Ive had my little rant.)
As Lana ran from Sirius, her heart pounded and more tears fell. She leant against a wall, breathless, and watched as the crowds of students filed past. Her dark brown hair fell in her face and she pushed it back, but it took all her effort. Her head was spinning, everything in front of her didnt seem real, like it was all just a painting, everything was going blurry and moving in slow motion or moving so fast that she couldnt see, it was just a blur of colour and sound....
Sirius stood there for a second, then chased after Lana.
She could barely hear anything, yet everything was so hard she had to fight not to clamp her hands over her ears. Lana felt something on her lips, and wiped at it with the back of her hand, seeing an enourmous amount of blood on the back of it. Lana stared at it, her head spinning, and then it all went black.
Sirius caught up to Lana just as as she fell forwards. He grabbed her as she passed out and put one arm under her knees and the other under her neck and around her as he picked Lana up. He saw the blood coming from her mouth and almost dropped her again. A few people screamed as the blood cascaded over the floor, and Mcgonagall came running out of her classroom. Sirius looked down at the blood on his hand and Mcgonagall conjured a stretcher.
"What happened?" she asked Sirius, as he put her on the stretcher.
"I dont know, she just..." he noticed that he still clutched the piece of parchment in his left arm, the one not blood stained. "Um," he said, and passed it to Mcgonagall as they walked to the Hospital Wing.
Mcgonagall read it as they walked up the stairs, and shook her head, displaying some emotion, and that suprised Sirius. "Poor girl...Unspeakable..." she tutted and opened the door to the Hospital Wing, and Madam Pomfrey came rushing over and fussing over her.
She put Lana on a bed, and Lana opened her eyes and tried to sit up, only to be pushed down again.
"What the - " Lana muttered, looking around, squinting slightly. Madam Pomfrey shoved some pills into Lanas mouth and made her swallow them.
"What happened?" She said sharply, looking at Sirius.
"I dont know, she just - "
"Collapsed." Pomfrey finished the sentence for him.
"Yeah..." he looked at Lana, worried.
Lana looked at him, with a hollow look in her eyes, on the verge of tears again. Madam Pomfrey grabbed something and started cleaning up Lanas blood stained face. Lana winced as she saw Sirius hand. Madam Pomfrey threw Sirius a cloth and he began cleaning himself up.
"Will she have to stay here all night?" Mcgonagall asked.
"Oh no, of course not, she just fainted, thats all. But I would advise and early night and taking it easy tomorow."
"I have Quidditch practice tomorow" Lana said
"Not now you dont, Lana." Pomfrey told her.
"But - "
"But nothing." Pomfrey cut her off.
"Can I go now?" Lana asked, and stood up.
"Yes. But go to bed right away."
"You dont have to do detention tonight Lana, I think you need time alone right now." Mcgonagall said, and Lana saw that she was holding the letter from the Ministry.
"I dont want to. I did something wrong, I should be punished."
"You can do it soon, Lana, you havent gotten away with it."
Sirius stood in the corner, watching Lana. He realised how much he loved her in that moment, when he blurted it out, and then when she collapsed on him -
"Sirius, take Lana up to the Common Room." Mcgonagall instructed him.
"I can go myself" Lana protested
"I think it would be better if you had someone with you, Lana"
Lana looked at Sirius, not sure what she felt...When she looked at him she just wanted to kiss him, wanted his strong arms to hold her...But then...then what? She didnt know.
Lana stood up off the bed and walked over to Sirius.
"Dont forget your detention, Sirius, my office at 5." Mcgonagall swept out of the hospital wing.
Pomfrey shoved a few more pills in Lanas hand as her and Sirius walked from the Hospital Wing.
"Are you okay?" Sirius asked Lana, looking at her, concerned.
"Im fine"
"You dont look it."
"Thanks."
"I didnt mean it - "
"I know you didnt mean it like that. But Im fine." Lana said, not sounding it.
They turned right and began walking up the stairs to Gryffindor tower.
Lana pushed her hair from her face.
"Thanks"
Sirius looked at her. "For what?"
"For catching me...." Lana looked at him. "Not letting me fall - "
"No problem" Sirius replied, smiling at her a little.
They go to the portrait and said the password, "oblivion" and walked through to find it almost empty. A few people were in there, but most people were in the Great Hall, eating. Lana stood there, arms wrapped around herself, and looked up at Sirius.
"I meant it Lana. When I said I love you. I do." Sirius looked down at her and moved a step towards her. She stepped back.
"I know you did. And I meant it when I said I couldnt deal with this right now. Im sorry."
"Its not great timing, I know that Lana, but just - give me something. Tell me - maybe."
"I have feelings for you, I do Sirius, its just - Im not sure what they are. Or how to deal with them. I just, Im so - with my mother, and then you - " Lana put her hands over face and then moved them away. "Im confused. I need time."
Sirius didnt know what to do or say. He felt like - he didnt know what he felt like. Just that he loved Lana, and wanted to help her through whatever she is going through.
"I better go. Detention." Sirius said, barely audible. Lana looked at him, and felt torn in two. She reached forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
"We'll talk later...." Lana said, and walked over to the girls staircase.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ======LATER THAT NIGHT===== ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lana sat in her dorm, on the window ledge. At the side of her she had a big box of Honeydukes fudge. She was staring up at the sky, thinking about Sirius and her mother. Lana had decided that she would try and seperate the feelings of grief, loss and anger from the ones she was feeling for Sirius, so that she could try and figure it out. Of course, she already knew that she loved him, but she wouldnt admit it to herself. She forced all thoughts of her mother from her mind.
Sirius walked across the common room, looked at his watch and saw that it was almost midnight. He wondered if Lana was still awake. He looked around the common room and saw that she wasnt in there, and he knew that he couldnt get into the girls dorm. He walked up the stairs to his dorm, and saw that, to his suprise, James, Peter, Remus were asleep. He took off his clothes and, just in his boxers, got onto his bed and pulled the curtains around him. Sirius lay back, looking at the ceiling.
"Fuck" came a voice. A girls voice. Followed by a bang. Sirius propped himself up on his arms, as Lana pulled back the curtains of his bed. She stood there, wearing white hotpants and a light pink, tight t-shirt. Her long dark hair hung loose, and Lana looked at Sirius, then climbed onto the bed and closed the curtains. Lana crawled over to Sirius, and sat on him, straddling him, and kisses him passionately. He wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her back for a few seconds, before pushing her away gently.
"What are you doing?" he asked her.
"What do you think?" Lana said, leaned forward to kiss him again. But Sirius stopped her.
"No." he said, although he couldnt deny that he was extremely turned on by her walking in here and just..diving on him.
"Why not?" she asked, looking confused and hurt.
As Sirius looked at her, into her eyes, he knew that he wanted to, but "Not like this." he said.
"Like what?" she asked, sitting up, half her weight on him, but supported by her heels.
"Like this. Youre hurting, upset and in pain. It would be taking advantage."
Lana stared at him, amazed. "Its not." and leaned forward to kiss him again. This time, Sirius grabbed her arms and gently pushed her off of him, so that she was lying down against the bed and he was over her, looking down at her.
"Yes it would. And you know it would. And youd hate me and yourself in the morning."
Lanas eyes teared up and as they fell, Sirius wiped it from her.
"See?" he said gently, brushing her hair away from her face. "Youre grieving, and it would be wrong - "
Lana put a finger over Sirius lips. "I have somethings I need to say."
Sirius propped himself up over her, and looked at her.
"Firstly...I dont wanna talk about my mother." Lana choked on her words as she said them. "I just...I wanna talk about me. You. And us. I want there to be an us."
Lana managed a small smile, before her eyes teared up again.
"Im so sorry" she whispered.
"What for?" Sirius asked, looking at her and wiping her tears.
"You didnt even do anything wrong. I flipped, and for no good reason...Ive regretted it. I thought Id blown it with you...And then on Monday, when you backed away....I knew that I had. Until earlier, when - " Lana could barely speak, her tears flowing.
"Its okay..."
"Can you forgive me?" Lana asked, and Sirius kissed her softly on the lips. Lana thought she would explode, feeling the tingle all the way through her body. As he pulled away, he stayed about an inch from Lanas face.
"Of course..."
"I love you Sirius." Lana whispered, and he smiled and kissed her again. She ran her hands through his hair.
Sirius felt happier that he had in a long time. He looked at her.
"Lana...Im always going to be here for you. No matter what. I want to help you through whatever your going through right now, with losing your mother. Nothings going to stop me from loving you, or from being here for you. Not even my own death will stop me. Of all the girls Ive been with, Ive only ever cared about one. And thats you." Sirius stopped. shocked that he had said such a thing...But meaning every word of it.
Lana started sobbing. "I just feel so alone....My mums dead....I dont even know hwo my dad is...I have no family...."
Sirius took her in his arms, and Lana sobbed as he held her, he kissed her forehead gently.
Thank God that you were by my side..
On a night....
On a night...
Daytime I'm fine
Everything is back normal
Last night I thought that I would die
I had nightmares, I was so scared
Thank god that you were by my side
To hold me when I cried
I wanna be strong
But I dont' wanna be alone tonight
I wanna believe that I can save the world
And make it right
But I believe that you've got a hero's face
Right here in your arms is safest place
The safest place
It feels so real
You showed I could trust you
With emotions I had locked away
It was your touch, your words
They hear deepest part of me
That only you can see
I wanna be strong
But I don't wanna be alone tonight
I wanna believe that I can save the world
And make it right
But I believe that you've got a hero's face
Right here in your arms is safest place
As long as I'm with you
As long as I can feel you
That's all I need to keep me going
On and on and on and on....
I wanna believe that I can save the world
And make it right
But I believe that you've got a hero's face
Right here in your arms is safest place
Right here in your arms is safest place....
The safest place...
The safest place...
Leann Rimes - The Safest Place
(NOTE : Had her album on, LOVE this song, figured it would be perfect)
As Lana ran from Sirius, her heart pounded and more tears fell. She leant against a wall, breathless, and watched as the crowds of students filed past. Her dark brown hair fell in her face and she pushed it back, but it took all her effort. Her head was spinning, everything in front of her didnt seem real, like it was all just a painting, everything was going blurry and moving in slow motion or moving so fast that she couldnt see, it was just a blur of colour and sound....
Sirius stood there for a second, then chased after Lana.
She could barely hear anything, yet everything was so hard she had to fight not to clamp her hands over her ears. Lana felt something on her lips, and wiped at it with the back of her hand, seeing an enourmous amount of blood on the back of it. Lana stared at it, her head spinning, and then it all went black.
Sirius caught up to Lana just as as she fell forwards. He grabbed her as she passed out and put one arm under her knees and the other under her neck and around her as he picked Lana up. He saw the blood coming from her mouth and almost dropped her again. A few people screamed as the blood cascaded over the floor, and Mcgonagall came running out of her classroom. Sirius looked down at the blood on his hand and Mcgonagall conjured a stretcher.
"What happened?" she asked Sirius, as he put her on the stretcher.
"I dont know, she just..." he noticed that he still clutched the piece of parchment in his left arm, the one not blood stained. "Um," he said, and passed it to Mcgonagall as they walked to the Hospital Wing.
Mcgonagall read it as they walked up the stairs, and shook her head, displaying some emotion, and that suprised Sirius. "Poor girl...Unspeakable..." she tutted and opened the door to the Hospital Wing, and Madam Pomfrey came rushing over and fussing over her.
She put Lana on a bed, and Lana opened her eyes and tried to sit up, only to be pushed down again.
"What the - " Lana muttered, looking around, squinting slightly. Madam Pomfrey shoved some pills into Lanas mouth and made her swallow them.
"What happened?" She said sharply, looking at Sirius.
"I dont know, she just - "
"Collapsed." Pomfrey finished the sentence for him.
"Yeah..." he looked at Lana, worried.
Lana looked at him, with a hollow look in her eyes, on the verge of tears again. Madam Pomfrey grabbed something and started cleaning up Lanas blood stained face. Lana winced as she saw Sirius hand. Madam Pomfrey threw Sirius a cloth and he began cleaning himself up.
"Will she have to stay here all night?" Mcgonagall asked.
"Oh no, of course not, she just fainted, thats all. But I would advise and early night and taking it easy tomorow."
"I have Quidditch practice tomorow" Lana said
"Not now you dont, Lana." Pomfrey told her.
"But - "
"But nothing." Pomfrey cut her off.
"Can I go now?" Lana asked, and stood up.
"Yes. But go to bed right away."
"You dont have to do detention tonight Lana, I think you need time alone right now." Mcgonagall said, and Lana saw that she was holding the letter from the Ministry.
"I dont want to. I did something wrong, I should be punished."
"You can do it soon, Lana, you havent gotten away with it."
Sirius stood in the corner, watching Lana. He realised how much he loved her in that moment, when he blurted it out, and then when she collapsed on him -
"Sirius, take Lana up to the Common Room." Mcgonagall instructed him.
"I can go myself" Lana protested
"I think it would be better if you had someone with you, Lana"
Lana looked at Sirius, not sure what she felt...When she looked at him she just wanted to kiss him, wanted his strong arms to hold her...But then...then what? She didnt know.
Lana stood up off the bed and walked over to Sirius.
"Dont forget your detention, Sirius, my office at 5." Mcgonagall swept out of the hospital wing.
Pomfrey shoved a few more pills in Lanas hand as her and Sirius walked from the Hospital Wing.
"Are you okay?" Sirius asked Lana, looking at her, concerned.
"Im fine"
"You dont look it."
"Thanks."
"I didnt mean it - "
"I know you didnt mean it like that. But Im fine." Lana said, not sounding it.
They turned right and began walking up the stairs to Gryffindor tower.
Lana pushed her hair from her face.
"Thanks"
Sirius looked at her. "For what?"
"For catching me...." Lana looked at him. "Not letting me fall - "
"No problem" Sirius replied, smiling at her a little.
They go to the portrait and said the password, "oblivion" and walked through to find it almost empty. A few people were in there, but most people were in the Great Hall, eating. Lana stood there, arms wrapped around herself, and looked up at Sirius.
"I meant it Lana. When I said I love you. I do." Sirius looked down at her and moved a step towards her. She stepped back.
"I know you did. And I meant it when I said I couldnt deal with this right now. Im sorry."
"Its not great timing, I know that Lana, but just - give me something. Tell me - maybe."
"I have feelings for you, I do Sirius, its just - Im not sure what they are. Or how to deal with them. I just, Im so - with my mother, and then you - " Lana put her hands over face and then moved them away. "Im confused. I need time."
Sirius didnt know what to do or say. He felt like - he didnt know what he felt like. Just that he loved Lana, and wanted to help her through whatever she is going through.
"I better go. Detention." Sirius said, barely audible. Lana looked at him, and felt torn in two. She reached forward and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
"We'll talk later...." Lana said, and walked over to the girls staircase.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ======LATER THAT NIGHT===== ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lana sat in her dorm, on the window ledge. At the side of her she had a big box of Honeydukes fudge. She was staring up at the sky, thinking about Sirius and her mother. Lana had decided that she would try and seperate the feelings of grief, loss and anger from the ones she was feeling for Sirius, so that she could try and figure it out. Of course, she already knew that she loved him, but she wouldnt admit it to herself. She forced all thoughts of her mother from her mind.
Sirius walked across the common room, looked at his watch and saw that it was almost midnight. He wondered if Lana was still awake. He looked around the common room and saw that she wasnt in there, and he knew that he couldnt get into the girls dorm. He walked up the stairs to his dorm, and saw that, to his suprise, James, Peter, Remus were asleep. He took off his clothes and, just in his boxers, got onto his bed and pulled the curtains around him. Sirius lay back, looking at the ceiling.
"Fuck" came a voice. A girls voice. Followed by a bang. Sirius propped himself up on his arms, as Lana pulled back the curtains of his bed. She stood there, wearing white hotpants and a light pink, tight t-shirt. Her long dark hair hung loose, and Lana looked at Sirius, then climbed onto the bed and closed the curtains. Lana crawled over to Sirius, and sat on him, straddling him, and kisses him passionately. He wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her back for a few seconds, before pushing her away gently.
"What are you doing?" he asked her.
"What do you think?" Lana said, leaned forward to kiss him again. But Sirius stopped her.
"No." he said, although he couldnt deny that he was extremely turned on by her walking in here and just..diving on him.
"Why not?" she asked, looking confused and hurt.
As Sirius looked at her, into her eyes, he knew that he wanted to, but "Not like this." he said.
"Like what?" she asked, sitting up, half her weight on him, but supported by her heels.
"Like this. Youre hurting, upset and in pain. It would be taking advantage."
Lana stared at him, amazed. "Its not." and leaned forward to kiss him again. This time, Sirius grabbed her arms and gently pushed her off of him, so that she was lying down against the bed and he was over her, looking down at her.
"Yes it would. And you know it would. And youd hate me and yourself in the morning."
Lanas eyes teared up and as they fell, Sirius wiped it from her.
"See?" he said gently, brushing her hair away from her face. "Youre grieving, and it would be wrong - "
Lana put a finger over Sirius lips. "I have somethings I need to say."
Sirius propped himself up over her, and looked at her.
"Firstly...I dont wanna talk about my mother." Lana choked on her words as she said them. "I just...I wanna talk about me. You. And us. I want there to be an us."
Lana managed a small smile, before her eyes teared up again.
"Im so sorry" she whispered.
"What for?" Sirius asked, looking at her and wiping her tears.
"You didnt even do anything wrong. I flipped, and for no good reason...Ive regretted it. I thought Id blown it with you...And then on Monday, when you backed away....I knew that I had. Until earlier, when - " Lana could barely speak, her tears flowing.
"Its okay..."
"Can you forgive me?" Lana asked, and Sirius kissed her softly on the lips. Lana thought she would explode, feeling the tingle all the way through her body. As he pulled away, he stayed about an inch from Lanas face.
"Of course..."
"I love you Sirius." Lana whispered, and he smiled and kissed her again. She ran her hands through his hair.
Sirius felt happier that he had in a long time. He looked at her.
"Lana...Im always going to be here for you. No matter what. I want to help you through whatever your going through right now, with losing your mother. Nothings going to stop me from loving you, or from being here for you. Not even my own death will stop me. Of all the girls Ive been with, Ive only ever cared about one. And thats you." Sirius stopped. shocked that he had said such a thing...But meaning every word of it.
Lana started sobbing. "I just feel so alone....My mums dead....I dont even know hwo my dad is...I have no family...."
Sirius took her in his arms, and Lana sobbed as he held her, he kissed her forehead gently.
Thank God that you were by my side..
On a night....
On a night...
Daytime I'm fine
Everything is back normal
Last night I thought that I would die
I had nightmares, I was so scared
Thank god that you were by my side
To hold me when I cried
I wanna be strong
But I dont' wanna be alone tonight
I wanna believe that I can save the world
And make it right
But I believe that you've got a hero's face
Right here in your arms is safest place
The safest place
It feels so real
You showed I could trust you
With emotions I had locked away
It was your touch, your words
They hear deepest part of me
That only you can see
I wanna be strong
But I don't wanna be alone tonight
I wanna believe that I can save the world
And make it right
But I believe that you've got a hero's face
Right here in your arms is safest place
As long as I'm with you
As long as I can feel you
That's all I need to keep me going
On and on and on and on....
I wanna believe that I can save the world
And make it right
But I believe that you've got a hero's face
Right here in your arms is safest place
Right here in your arms is safest place....
The safest place...
The safest place...
Leann Rimes - The Safest Place
(NOTE : Had her album on, LOVE this song, figured it would be perfect)
