(NOTE : 50 reviews will do. This is up for the people who have been
reviewing since Day 1. However, I still want more reviews. Please! Im going
away for the weekend 2mra, so...Thought Id update.)
~*~*~*~*~*~PRESENT TIME~*~*~*~*~*~
"I just wanted it to stop, I just wanted these feelings to stop." Lana said, with a lot of bitterness and anger in her voice. She leant back from Lupin and leant against the arm of sofa, her eyes a little red and her eyeliner smudged a little.
Lupin knew it was wrong, but he couldnt keep his eyes off Lana. She was a very beautiful girl, inside and out, although there was a deep uglyness and a ruthless, determined, hateful, dangerous streak hidden deep inside her that had been revealed in the First War against Voldemort, and he knew that she didnt want to go to that Dark Place again, and he didnt want her to, it took them long enough to get her back, 15 years in fact, but the way she was going, the things she was doing, the emotions she was feeling was enough to push anyone off the edge. All this rage stemmed from one thing tho - Love.
"I understand. I do. I - I did something stupid as well when Sirius died." Lupin said, looking away. "It was dangerous. And stupid."
Lana looked at him.
"I didnt take the Wolfsban potion."
Lana looked at him blankly. "Huh?"
Lupin suddenly realised that Lana had no idea what he was talking about. "Its a new thing. It helps me..Keep my own mind while Im the wolf. Safe. I was such a wreck after seeing Sirius fall...I didnt think. I was cut up inside. I still am. The last link to my childhood, everything Ive ever known....Gone with Sirius."
Lana smiled weakly. "I know how you feel." Lana knew why Lupin didnt mention her name. Sirius, James and Peter had known Remus since they were 10, but Lana had known him since they were 16.
Lupin wondered what the hell he was saying, but Lana just had this thing - she brought out peoples inner emotions, their deepest thoughts. Like Dumbledore. Only Lana didnt seem to realise what effect she had on people.
"Except you, Lana....Youre still here." But youre really not, Lupin thought.
Lana was staring at a spot on the wall, and didnt hear what Lupin said. "Oh, what?"
"What are you looking at?" he asked, following Lanas gaze.
"Nothing." she replied, tearing her eyes away from the wall, she could have sworn shed just saw something....Stop it, she told herself. Everyone will think youre a fucking loon. Too much alcohol.
Her eyes travelled back to Lupin, wandered over his sandy blonde hair, his clear blue eyes, the fine lines at the side of them, they way they always looked tired, but now...They looked alive. He was wearing Muggle clothes, faded denim jeans and a blue shirt. Lana wasnt sure whether it was the alcohol or what, but suddenly she was seeing him in a slightly different light, and she could tell from the look on his face that he was seeing her, too. (Could I?) Lana thought, as she inched closer to Lupin. (Should I?)
Lupin thought, (I know Ive wanted to in the past, but this is just taking advantage of her).
Lanas breath caught in her throat, and a voice inside her head was screaming (What the fuck are you doing? You heartless bitch, Sirius is only just gone, and already your scamming on his friends!) she shifted her weight to her right leg, she was sat on her knees and her left leg was going numb. (Im...Vulnerable. Im on the rebound. This is...Solace.) she silenced the voice. (And way too much beer,) she added.
Lupin swallowed nervously as Lana shifted, he was trembling, with anticipation and nervousness, and guilt. (Shes vulnerable. Grieving. This is wrong.) Lupin was about to say something, but another voice spoke up. (So are you! Youre hurting too! You tried letting the wolf, that didnt do anything, you tried drinking too much, that didnt work either...) He moved closer to Lana, traced a line down her right arm.
Lana let out a long breath, pushed herself up a little, leant forward and kissed Lupin softly, and she felt his hands wandering up her arms and across her shoulders, going down her chest, and she kissed him harder, grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer to her.
Lupin felt the heat between them, when really he knew there was no heat.
Lana was wishing it was Sirius, not Lupin.
They both broke away at the same time.
"I cant - Oh God Im sorry" they both said, then laughed.
Lupin stood up and kissed Lana on the forehead, and disapparated with a soft pop.
Lana shut her eyes and flopped back onto the couch. (That, was such a bad idea.) Lana didnt have time, energy, or enough emotion to feel guilty. It was just a kiss. One that she would rather be Sirius, but still. All she could think, now that she was sobering up, was about Sirius. His hair, his eyes, his smile, his voice, his touch...
Lana felt all the emotion boil up inside her, and the alcohol...(oh fuck). Lana felt her stomach churn, and she knew it had very little to do with the alcohol she had drunk when she leaned forward and vomited on to the floor.
Lana wiped at the back of her mouth and muttered "scourgify" and it disappeared. Lana threw her wand down and pushed her hair from her face, and was about to sit up, but paused.
A cold, draining chill came over Lana and her first thought was "Dementors." **************************************************************** A blur of images passed through Lanas mind, and she got very confused and disoreinted.
(Occlumency?...) Lana thought, the only clear thought she could form as images passed in front of her eyes, her and Sirius at school, at the Orders HQ, at his Mothers, that bitch screaming, Lestrange laughing, Voldemort, Lana being flung across a room, and then....
Nothing.
Lana felt incredibly dizzy, and she pushed her hair from her face and looked up.
Blackness. ~*~*~*~*~*~THE GHOST ROADS~*~*~*~*~*~ "NO!" was Lanas first response, she would not stay here again, they would not take her. She looked around, and the sensation that she was under water, floating, swimming, disappeared and Lana felt like she was wet. Dripping wet.
She looked down and saw she was now wearing a long red dress, tight, but kinda floaty too. Lana could feel something solid under her feet, but just what, she didnt know. (Stay put) she told herself.
Lana looked around in the blackness, and she heard footsteps echoing towards her. Lana, for a fleeting second, felt terrified, and then as it subsided, she began to recognise the sound of the footsteps and the outline of the person who was walking towards her.
Lanas heart felt like it had fell out of her chest and that she was going to vomit again as the person got closer and she recognised who it was. Lana started trembling so violently she thought she was going to fall over. Her mouth had gone dry.
A little shred of light fell over the darkness and illuminated his face. At first, his face was as it was when he got out of Azkaban. Sunken, hollow, pale. Then to how it was just before he died. Full, full of life, eyes blazing, loving the battle.
Sirius face radically changed to the young, handsome, athletic young man he had been when he went to Azkaban.
Lana couldnt stop the tears falling, and she wasnt about to try. She bit down on her lip hard, trembling harder as he walked over and stood about 6 inches in front of her.
He stood about 3 inches taller than Lana, his dark brown hair falling in his eyes with that same casual elegance. He reached out his hand and wiped Lanas tears, his own falling and looking glassy.
"What - what is this?" she asked, putting her hand over his.
"The Ghost Roads." Sirius said simply, and Lana cried harder as she heard his voice.
"Wh - why am - i dont - " she stuttered, so happy yet incredibly sad, she couldnt get her words out, and Lana was extremely confused.
"Dont worry, youre not dead." he said.
"I wish I was. Then Id be with you." she said, shrugging a little.
"I dont have a lot of time. Can you focus?" he asked sharply, looking around into the blackness.
"Er, yeah." Lana said, looking up at him.
Sirius leaned in closer to Lana, and looked her right in the eye. "I cant explain everything, mainly because Im not so fucking sure myself." he told Lana. "This is...A limbo if you will. But its not Limbo. Theres different rules, although Im not sure why and what those rules are. But I do know that youre here because I brought you here."
"Why? To torture me even more?" Lana said sharply, suddenly angry.
Sirius expression on his face changed, and he looked like Lana had just slapped him. He grabbed her by the upper arms and pulled her to him, their bodies touching. "You dont think its Hell for me either? At least you know where you are, the rules of the physical world." he said, snapping, and as he saw the the frightened and confused expression on Lanas face.
"I dont know anything any more." she whispered. "Except that I love you. I love you so much, it hurts to breathe, knowing that youre not there with me."
"Lana..." Sirius was fighing an internal battle, and losing. He wanted so much to use this time to just kiss and hold Lana, but if the Beast found her with him...Or him with her, hed be in so much trouble. He brought her here to warn her about something, and he didnt know when hed be able to bring her here again. Maybe never. It was draining him just concentrating on what he had to tell her.
"I love you too. So much, I didnt want to leave, Im just glad I didnt have to listen to you screaming for me like Harry." his voice broke, and he choked. "Harry was there. I fell through, and all I could hear was Harry screaming my name, over and over, to come back, for someone to help me - " he cut off, now not able to speak.
Lana was sobbing, and wrapped her arms around him, pulling her body closer to his, nuzzling her face into his neck. "Oh God." she said. "Why am I even here? Where is here? What is it?"
Sirius pushed Lana away. "You have to find it, Lana. You have to find it."
Lana was extremely confused. "Find what?"
"Protect Harry. Find it."
"I will protect Harry, I promised you,Lily and James that I would.Find what?" she asked again.
"The old house. Its in there. Find it before its too late." Sirius said, in a rush.
"Stop being bloody cryptic! Find what?"
Sirius looked around, suddenly fearful. "You have to go." He kissed Lana briefly, then faded, leaving Lana on her own.
"GO WHERE!?! SIRIUS! SIRIUS!" she shouted, then the feeling of water, came, of floating, of wetness, and then....
BAMN.
~*~*~*~*~*~ 4 PRIVET DRIVE~*~*~*~*~*~
Harry woke up and sluggishly moved his hand to shade his eyes from the sun. It stung his eyes and his head was throbbing madly.
"Ughhhhh" he moaned, his stomach turning. He rolled over and fell out of bed with a loud crash, just managing to grab his glasses before he smashed them to bits.
Harry stood up slowly and looked in the mirror. He noted to himself that he looked as bad as he felt. His brilliant green eyes looked a little dull, and he squinted, putting his glasses back on. His stomach lurched and he ran for the bathroom. Harry leaned over the toilet and vomited. He flushed the toilet, wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up slowly.
He held his stomach and walked over to the sink, pouted himself a glass of water. He walked over to the door and locked it. He sank down slowly against the door. Sipping the water, he sighed, hoping the Dursleys hadnt heard all the banging. Half of the night was total blur. He could remember about...3 clubs, lots of flashing lights, people dancing, the loud music, the girls...And the alcohol. Shot glasses lined up, 1,2,3,4,5, and 6, being filled up with vodka, whisky, Archers, Martini, Bacardi, and something called...Absinthe. Lana told him it was, technically, a little bit illegal...Shot after shot, burning his throat and leaving different tastes in his mouth. And Lana...
Oh Lana. Harry had an inkling she wasnt who she said she was, for a pure- blood, she seemed to know waaaaay to much about the Muggle world. Harry presumed she was a pure-blood. In one bar, Coyote something, she had downed several shots, one after the other, slamming the glasses back down, before being pulled up onto the bar by two of the girls who worked there. The way the three of them danced reminded Harry of a music video that Dudley loved watching, Britney Spears, Slave 4 U, to which Dudley would shout rude comments to.
Harry had never met anyone like Lana before. He just couldnt figure her out. At first, she seemed a little uptight, like Hermione, and treating him like a child, by refusing to talk about Hogwarts etc. Harry felt a connection with her though, and it was obvious to him that she was in a great deal of pain. The look in her eyes when he asked her about Sirius, the flicker....That he, Harry felt. Lana suprised him by the way she spoke about Voldemort, so bitter, so full of hate and anger. That suprised him. People around his age usually said it with a trembling, afraid voice. Voldemort probably killed someone she loved. A lot of that going around, Harry thought.
Harry was more than a little apprehensive about going out somewhere with someone hed only just met, but he couldnt help but trust Lana. Like Dumbledore. Harry felt angry, and his temper was getting harder and harder to control, and Harry had snapped at Lana plenty of times, but she just took it. Shed just nodded or looked away, a look of guilt on her face.
After Harry had knocked back a few shots, he noticed it was good for killing the pain of Sirius' loss. Lana had said that. "Great for numbing the pain, this stuff Harry." With that, and the music, and the lights, and the dancing, and the energy, it was just..amazing. Lana turned into a totally different person. Loose, and wild, and free...Harry felt himself loosening up totally when Lana had climbed into the DJs box and started singing. He had the feeling it wouldnt be the last time he drank in the Muggle world. In fact...
Harry finished off his water, stood up and started brushing his teeth.
~*~*~*~*~*~HALF AN HOUR LATER~*~*~*~*~*~
Harry wandered downstairs, to find the Dursleys had left him a note.
"We have gone out. Do not touch any of our belongings, do not steal food from the fridge, do not leave the house. We have locked the door. Dont have any of your freak people in the house."
Harry rolled his eyes and tore the note up, angrily and slammed it into the bin. He kicked the bin, and walked straight over to the fridge.
"Think they can tell me what to do...Stupid fucks." Harry muttered to himself. He thought of the Dursleys as just a place where that magical protection his mother had given him could be restored, or whatever it was Dumledore said.
It was 1 week into the holidays, and Harry had been so pre-occupied thinking of a way to get into Knockturn Alley to get some books, and Sirius, he hadnt noticed his 16th birthday. Only when Hedwig and a few other owls had rapped on his window had he noticed. Nothing from Sirius, of course, and this had sent Harry into a rage. He had thrown one of his school books at his mirror shattering it, making Vernon shake with anger, but he soon shut up shouting at Harry when Moody apparated into his room, telling Vernon to lower his voice and fixing the mirror. Harry smiled smugly as Vernon was forced to be nice.
Harry looked around the fridge, wondering what he could eat. Fuck if he was obeying the Dursleys. He settled for a ham and cheese salad sandwich. He couldnt use the oven, didnt know how.
Harry stood in the kitchen, looking out of the window for Hedwig. He had sent Hedwig to Lupins, and that was yesterday. He wanted Hedwig back, Harry just had to tell Ron about last night. And Hermione, of course.
Just as Harry finished his sandwich and looked around the cupboards for some crisps and something to drink, Hedwig flew through the window with a letter attached to her leg. She landed on Harrys shoulder and nipped his fingers as he untied the letter. Wasnt very long, but Harry was used to being told a big fat NOTHING.
Harry unwrapped the letter.
"Hello Harry." Lupin wrote. "I hear youve met Lana." (Harry frowned...was it Lupin who he heard shouting at Lana last night? He couldnt remember who it was, or what was said.) "In case youre wondering why Lanas living on Privet Drive, yes, it is extra security for you, but also for Lana. Voldemort has an eye for talent, and Lana cerainly has it. This way we can watch you both. Hope you had fun last night, and arent too ill. Youre both extremely lucky that it was me on guard, and not Moody or Kingsely. You both would have been in serious trouble." (Psh, Harry thought, Trouble? I seem to bloody attract it anyway. His temper was rising.) "Ron and Hermione arrived at the Orders HQ last night. Dont worry, you shall be with us as soon as it is safe. To answer your question as to what the Order is doing, I cannot tell you everything, you know that. As for the Malfoys...They are being watched. And Dumbledore TRUSTS Snape." (Like thats good enough for you, Harry thought. You hated him as much as my dad and Sirius did...As much as I do for goading Sirius about being a coward. If he hadnt said that, Sirius wouldnt have come that night and Sirius would be alive.) "Be careful. Lupin."
Harry felt his temper rising again, and he screwed the letter up into a ball in his fist.
~*~*~*~*~*~LANAS PLACE~*~*~*~*~*~
Lana woke up on the couch, her hair muzzed up, wearing last nights clothes. She frowned, remembering what Sirius had said to her. "Find it." Did she dream it? Did he pull her astral self into what he called "The Ghost Roads"? or was it a trick similar to the one Voldemort had played on Harry last year, luring him out with Sirius...
A tear fell down Lanas face as she remembered every little detail of the dream - or whatever it was. His voice, his touch, his eyes - Did he have any idea of just how much harder he had made it for her?
Lana felt someones presence in the room before she even turned around.
"Moony?" she asked.
"You wish." drawled a cold voice.
"You were watching me sleep? How very serial killer of you." Lana said coldy. "But then, you are."
"And you, Lana, are a mass murderer." Lucius was sat in a chair opposite Lana on the couch, wearing emerald green robes his sleek blonde hair tucked behind his ears. Behind Lucius, to his right, was Crabbe, to his left Goyle.
"No, I killed 4 Death Eaters at once. Hardly mass." she said, raising an eyebrow at Crabbe and Goyle. "Whats with the monkeys?"
Lucius stared at her, his cold blue eyes baring into her dark brown ones.
Lana sniffed, trying to act all casual and cool, not bothered, but at the same time was trying to protect her mind, she could feel someone trying to get in. Lana threw up images of flowers and fields, but after 2 minutes, it was getting hard.
"So who died and made you my newest stalker?" Lana asked sarcastically, squinting her eyes a little from the strain.
"I believe a certain Mr Sirius Black died."
"Oh, and his very last words happend to be - 'Lucius, please stalk my girlfriend' " she said, again, full of sarcasm.
"Oh no. His last words, if youre intrested, actually, were - 'come on, you can do better than that'," Lucius sneered, expecting Lana to cry.
She smiled. "Arrogant, proud, cocky and eager for battle, right till the end." Lana said to herself fondly.
"Pity you werent there to save his ass like you were the first time..."
Lana stood up and walked towards Lucius, and Crabbe and Goyle made to curse Lana, but Lucius held his hand up.
"You suprise me Lana. I thought you would have some kind of barrier spell on your house. You know, to stop people just...appearing. Someone could kill you in your sleep." he said softly, but full of menace.
Instead of going towards Lucius, she turned to her right and flicked the TV off. "Ive got all the protection I need right here." she said, indicating herself.
"Quite. A little Firestarter arent you? And so much more than that..." he stood up and walked over.
"No closer." Lana said, when Lucius got within 5 foot of her, keeping her eyes locked on his.
"Okay." he said, and stopped.
"Give me your wand." she said, keeping her eyes locked on his, eyes tearing up from the effort of throwing images up and trying to 'push' Lucius.
Lucius began to hand his wand over to Lana, but a gruff voice said "accio wand" and the wand flew into Crabbes hand.
Lana laughed to herself, amused.
Lucius suddenly blinked, the glassy look over his eyes disappearing. He looked around. "Wheres my wand?" Crabbe threw it to him. He caught it and pointed it at Lanas chest. "What did you just do?" he asked, taking a step towards her.
Lana only stopped laughing and raised her eyebrows in response. "Just a little something I learned while I was away." she said, then ran a hand through her hair. "Now are you gonna get to some kind of point?"
Lucius lip curled. "The Dark Lord - "
Lana stepped to the side, mocked a yawn. "Already Im bored."
Lucius narrowed his eyes. "I wonder...Do you know how Sirius died?"
Lana stopped walking, turned around, and said, voice full of venom. "You mention his name again, and youre pretty little wife wont be."
Lucius was confused. He looked to Crabbe and Goyle, who wore bemused expressions almost permanently. "What?"
"Pretty, that is." Lana said slowly, a little smirk playing on her face.
Lucius knew perfectly well what Lana was capable of. He had seen it. Hell, hed been on the receiving end of it. She was as warped as Lestrange when it came to torturing people. He couldnt figure out why she hadnt gone to the Dark Side. All the pain, anger...Enough to turn anyone.
"Question is..." Lucius said slowly, pretending to think. "Was he dead before or after he fell through the Veil?"
Lana was pissed now, and thank fuck that whoever it was had stopped using Legilmens on her. "How the FUCK is that relevant?" she said. "I dont know what kind of game youre playing here Lucius, but youre not gonna win. Do you know why?" she asked. "Because if I lose...and I hate losing...Youre gonna wish youd let me win."
"You wont kill me."
"And why not?"
"Because Ive been inside you." he said, eyes flashing, smirking.
Lana thought she was gonna throw up. "Dont remind me. And while youre at it, dont fucking flatter yourself. It happened once."
"Twice."
"What - fucking - ever."
"We have a connection, whether you like it or not."
"The only thing that Im gonna connect with you again is my fist to your face, you son of a bitch"
"OOooooooo" Lucius sneered, Crabbe and Goyle laughed.
"Oh I forgot, violence is like 3rd base for you." Lana sneered back. "Now get the fuck out of my house."
"I think not." came a cold, sharp voice and a man with lank, greasy black hair with a hook nose swept into the room, wearing robes of black.
Lana burst out laughing. "Snivellus....Oh my god....Look at you Snivy!"
"Shut up." Snape said, flicking a jet of red light at Lana, and it silenced her voice.
OH FUCK! Lana thought. So NOT expecting that. What the fuck is he doing anyway? Thought he was OUR spy, not THIER spy? Oooo Im so glad hes still a Death Eater...I can enjoy killing him later. Lupin'll be glad too. Hates him. But for now...How the hell do I get this curse off me?
"Youre going to stop shooting your mouth off, you arrogant little bitch." Snape spat, wand still pointed at Lana, and he nodded to Lucius who nodded back and took a few steps back. "Youre going to listen to me, listen to me like you never listened to anyone before." Lana raised her eyebrows. "Killing Sirius was just the begining. Wasnt planned, but still....Getting that arrogant twat out of the way was a step in the Dark Lords plans."
Lana didnt know what to think or feel. Snape was here, acting all Death Eater. And he was taking the piss out of Sirius. She felt a burst of rage coming through, and flung herself at Snape, knocking him to the floor. Crabbe and Goyle shot spells at Lana, but she was ready and deflected them with one hand, whilst punching Snape with the other.
Lucius stopped Grabbe and Goyle, and grabbed Lana by the arms, pulling her away from him. Lana kicked Lucius, and he let go. Snape stood up, bleeding from his mouth.
"Lets go." Snape said, and Lucius, Grabbe and Goyle turned around. Snape flicked his wand at Lana when the others werent looking, undoing the curse.
Lucius paused, turned around.
"Have a good time last night Lana? Harrys quite the little drinker, isnt he? Quite the little dancer arent you? Draco and I found it so very amusing." he said cooly, and the 4 of them disapparated.
~*~*~*~*~*~PRESENT TIME~*~*~*~*~*~
"I just wanted it to stop, I just wanted these feelings to stop." Lana said, with a lot of bitterness and anger in her voice. She leant back from Lupin and leant against the arm of sofa, her eyes a little red and her eyeliner smudged a little.
Lupin knew it was wrong, but he couldnt keep his eyes off Lana. She was a very beautiful girl, inside and out, although there was a deep uglyness and a ruthless, determined, hateful, dangerous streak hidden deep inside her that had been revealed in the First War against Voldemort, and he knew that she didnt want to go to that Dark Place again, and he didnt want her to, it took them long enough to get her back, 15 years in fact, but the way she was going, the things she was doing, the emotions she was feeling was enough to push anyone off the edge. All this rage stemmed from one thing tho - Love.
"I understand. I do. I - I did something stupid as well when Sirius died." Lupin said, looking away. "It was dangerous. And stupid."
Lana looked at him.
"I didnt take the Wolfsban potion."
Lana looked at him blankly. "Huh?"
Lupin suddenly realised that Lana had no idea what he was talking about. "Its a new thing. It helps me..Keep my own mind while Im the wolf. Safe. I was such a wreck after seeing Sirius fall...I didnt think. I was cut up inside. I still am. The last link to my childhood, everything Ive ever known....Gone with Sirius."
Lana smiled weakly. "I know how you feel." Lana knew why Lupin didnt mention her name. Sirius, James and Peter had known Remus since they were 10, but Lana had known him since they were 16.
Lupin wondered what the hell he was saying, but Lana just had this thing - she brought out peoples inner emotions, their deepest thoughts. Like Dumbledore. Only Lana didnt seem to realise what effect she had on people.
"Except you, Lana....Youre still here." But youre really not, Lupin thought.
Lana was staring at a spot on the wall, and didnt hear what Lupin said. "Oh, what?"
"What are you looking at?" he asked, following Lanas gaze.
"Nothing." she replied, tearing her eyes away from the wall, she could have sworn shed just saw something....Stop it, she told herself. Everyone will think youre a fucking loon. Too much alcohol.
Her eyes travelled back to Lupin, wandered over his sandy blonde hair, his clear blue eyes, the fine lines at the side of them, they way they always looked tired, but now...They looked alive. He was wearing Muggle clothes, faded denim jeans and a blue shirt. Lana wasnt sure whether it was the alcohol or what, but suddenly she was seeing him in a slightly different light, and she could tell from the look on his face that he was seeing her, too. (Could I?) Lana thought, as she inched closer to Lupin. (Should I?)
Lupin thought, (I know Ive wanted to in the past, but this is just taking advantage of her).
Lanas breath caught in her throat, and a voice inside her head was screaming (What the fuck are you doing? You heartless bitch, Sirius is only just gone, and already your scamming on his friends!) she shifted her weight to her right leg, she was sat on her knees and her left leg was going numb. (Im...Vulnerable. Im on the rebound. This is...Solace.) she silenced the voice. (And way too much beer,) she added.
Lupin swallowed nervously as Lana shifted, he was trembling, with anticipation and nervousness, and guilt. (Shes vulnerable. Grieving. This is wrong.) Lupin was about to say something, but another voice spoke up. (So are you! Youre hurting too! You tried letting the wolf, that didnt do anything, you tried drinking too much, that didnt work either...) He moved closer to Lana, traced a line down her right arm.
Lana let out a long breath, pushed herself up a little, leant forward and kissed Lupin softly, and she felt his hands wandering up her arms and across her shoulders, going down her chest, and she kissed him harder, grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer to her.
Lupin felt the heat between them, when really he knew there was no heat.
Lana was wishing it was Sirius, not Lupin.
They both broke away at the same time.
"I cant - Oh God Im sorry" they both said, then laughed.
Lupin stood up and kissed Lana on the forehead, and disapparated with a soft pop.
Lana shut her eyes and flopped back onto the couch. (That, was such a bad idea.) Lana didnt have time, energy, or enough emotion to feel guilty. It was just a kiss. One that she would rather be Sirius, but still. All she could think, now that she was sobering up, was about Sirius. His hair, his eyes, his smile, his voice, his touch...
Lana felt all the emotion boil up inside her, and the alcohol...(oh fuck). Lana felt her stomach churn, and she knew it had very little to do with the alcohol she had drunk when she leaned forward and vomited on to the floor.
Lana wiped at the back of her mouth and muttered "scourgify" and it disappeared. Lana threw her wand down and pushed her hair from her face, and was about to sit up, but paused.
A cold, draining chill came over Lana and her first thought was "Dementors." **************************************************************** A blur of images passed through Lanas mind, and she got very confused and disoreinted.
(Occlumency?...) Lana thought, the only clear thought she could form as images passed in front of her eyes, her and Sirius at school, at the Orders HQ, at his Mothers, that bitch screaming, Lestrange laughing, Voldemort, Lana being flung across a room, and then....
Nothing.
Lana felt incredibly dizzy, and she pushed her hair from her face and looked up.
Blackness. ~*~*~*~*~*~THE GHOST ROADS~*~*~*~*~*~ "NO!" was Lanas first response, she would not stay here again, they would not take her. She looked around, and the sensation that she was under water, floating, swimming, disappeared and Lana felt like she was wet. Dripping wet.
She looked down and saw she was now wearing a long red dress, tight, but kinda floaty too. Lana could feel something solid under her feet, but just what, she didnt know. (Stay put) she told herself.
Lana looked around in the blackness, and she heard footsteps echoing towards her. Lana, for a fleeting second, felt terrified, and then as it subsided, she began to recognise the sound of the footsteps and the outline of the person who was walking towards her.
Lanas heart felt like it had fell out of her chest and that she was going to vomit again as the person got closer and she recognised who it was. Lana started trembling so violently she thought she was going to fall over. Her mouth had gone dry.
A little shred of light fell over the darkness and illuminated his face. At first, his face was as it was when he got out of Azkaban. Sunken, hollow, pale. Then to how it was just before he died. Full, full of life, eyes blazing, loving the battle.
Sirius face radically changed to the young, handsome, athletic young man he had been when he went to Azkaban.
Lana couldnt stop the tears falling, and she wasnt about to try. She bit down on her lip hard, trembling harder as he walked over and stood about 6 inches in front of her.
He stood about 3 inches taller than Lana, his dark brown hair falling in his eyes with that same casual elegance. He reached out his hand and wiped Lanas tears, his own falling and looking glassy.
"What - what is this?" she asked, putting her hand over his.
"The Ghost Roads." Sirius said simply, and Lana cried harder as she heard his voice.
"Wh - why am - i dont - " she stuttered, so happy yet incredibly sad, she couldnt get her words out, and Lana was extremely confused.
"Dont worry, youre not dead." he said.
"I wish I was. Then Id be with you." she said, shrugging a little.
"I dont have a lot of time. Can you focus?" he asked sharply, looking around into the blackness.
"Er, yeah." Lana said, looking up at him.
Sirius leaned in closer to Lana, and looked her right in the eye. "I cant explain everything, mainly because Im not so fucking sure myself." he told Lana. "This is...A limbo if you will. But its not Limbo. Theres different rules, although Im not sure why and what those rules are. But I do know that youre here because I brought you here."
"Why? To torture me even more?" Lana said sharply, suddenly angry.
Sirius expression on his face changed, and he looked like Lana had just slapped him. He grabbed her by the upper arms and pulled her to him, their bodies touching. "You dont think its Hell for me either? At least you know where you are, the rules of the physical world." he said, snapping, and as he saw the the frightened and confused expression on Lanas face.
"I dont know anything any more." she whispered. "Except that I love you. I love you so much, it hurts to breathe, knowing that youre not there with me."
"Lana..." Sirius was fighing an internal battle, and losing. He wanted so much to use this time to just kiss and hold Lana, but if the Beast found her with him...Or him with her, hed be in so much trouble. He brought her here to warn her about something, and he didnt know when hed be able to bring her here again. Maybe never. It was draining him just concentrating on what he had to tell her.
"I love you too. So much, I didnt want to leave, Im just glad I didnt have to listen to you screaming for me like Harry." his voice broke, and he choked. "Harry was there. I fell through, and all I could hear was Harry screaming my name, over and over, to come back, for someone to help me - " he cut off, now not able to speak.
Lana was sobbing, and wrapped her arms around him, pulling her body closer to his, nuzzling her face into his neck. "Oh God." she said. "Why am I even here? Where is here? What is it?"
Sirius pushed Lana away. "You have to find it, Lana. You have to find it."
Lana was extremely confused. "Find what?"
"Protect Harry. Find it."
"I will protect Harry, I promised you,Lily and James that I would.Find what?" she asked again.
"The old house. Its in there. Find it before its too late." Sirius said, in a rush.
"Stop being bloody cryptic! Find what?"
Sirius looked around, suddenly fearful. "You have to go." He kissed Lana briefly, then faded, leaving Lana on her own.
"GO WHERE!?! SIRIUS! SIRIUS!" she shouted, then the feeling of water, came, of floating, of wetness, and then....
BAMN.
~*~*~*~*~*~ 4 PRIVET DRIVE~*~*~*~*~*~
Harry woke up and sluggishly moved his hand to shade his eyes from the sun. It stung his eyes and his head was throbbing madly.
"Ughhhhh" he moaned, his stomach turning. He rolled over and fell out of bed with a loud crash, just managing to grab his glasses before he smashed them to bits.
Harry stood up slowly and looked in the mirror. He noted to himself that he looked as bad as he felt. His brilliant green eyes looked a little dull, and he squinted, putting his glasses back on. His stomach lurched and he ran for the bathroom. Harry leaned over the toilet and vomited. He flushed the toilet, wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand and stood up slowly.
He held his stomach and walked over to the sink, pouted himself a glass of water. He walked over to the door and locked it. He sank down slowly against the door. Sipping the water, he sighed, hoping the Dursleys hadnt heard all the banging. Half of the night was total blur. He could remember about...3 clubs, lots of flashing lights, people dancing, the loud music, the girls...And the alcohol. Shot glasses lined up, 1,2,3,4,5, and 6, being filled up with vodka, whisky, Archers, Martini, Bacardi, and something called...Absinthe. Lana told him it was, technically, a little bit illegal...Shot after shot, burning his throat and leaving different tastes in his mouth. And Lana...
Oh Lana. Harry had an inkling she wasnt who she said she was, for a pure- blood, she seemed to know waaaaay to much about the Muggle world. Harry presumed she was a pure-blood. In one bar, Coyote something, she had downed several shots, one after the other, slamming the glasses back down, before being pulled up onto the bar by two of the girls who worked there. The way the three of them danced reminded Harry of a music video that Dudley loved watching, Britney Spears, Slave 4 U, to which Dudley would shout rude comments to.
Harry had never met anyone like Lana before. He just couldnt figure her out. At first, she seemed a little uptight, like Hermione, and treating him like a child, by refusing to talk about Hogwarts etc. Harry felt a connection with her though, and it was obvious to him that she was in a great deal of pain. The look in her eyes when he asked her about Sirius, the flicker....That he, Harry felt. Lana suprised him by the way she spoke about Voldemort, so bitter, so full of hate and anger. That suprised him. People around his age usually said it with a trembling, afraid voice. Voldemort probably killed someone she loved. A lot of that going around, Harry thought.
Harry was more than a little apprehensive about going out somewhere with someone hed only just met, but he couldnt help but trust Lana. Like Dumbledore. Harry felt angry, and his temper was getting harder and harder to control, and Harry had snapped at Lana plenty of times, but she just took it. Shed just nodded or looked away, a look of guilt on her face.
After Harry had knocked back a few shots, he noticed it was good for killing the pain of Sirius' loss. Lana had said that. "Great for numbing the pain, this stuff Harry." With that, and the music, and the lights, and the dancing, and the energy, it was just..amazing. Lana turned into a totally different person. Loose, and wild, and free...Harry felt himself loosening up totally when Lana had climbed into the DJs box and started singing. He had the feeling it wouldnt be the last time he drank in the Muggle world. In fact...
Harry finished off his water, stood up and started brushing his teeth.
~*~*~*~*~*~HALF AN HOUR LATER~*~*~*~*~*~
Harry wandered downstairs, to find the Dursleys had left him a note.
"We have gone out. Do not touch any of our belongings, do not steal food from the fridge, do not leave the house. We have locked the door. Dont have any of your freak people in the house."
Harry rolled his eyes and tore the note up, angrily and slammed it into the bin. He kicked the bin, and walked straight over to the fridge.
"Think they can tell me what to do...Stupid fucks." Harry muttered to himself. He thought of the Dursleys as just a place where that magical protection his mother had given him could be restored, or whatever it was Dumledore said.
It was 1 week into the holidays, and Harry had been so pre-occupied thinking of a way to get into Knockturn Alley to get some books, and Sirius, he hadnt noticed his 16th birthday. Only when Hedwig and a few other owls had rapped on his window had he noticed. Nothing from Sirius, of course, and this had sent Harry into a rage. He had thrown one of his school books at his mirror shattering it, making Vernon shake with anger, but he soon shut up shouting at Harry when Moody apparated into his room, telling Vernon to lower his voice and fixing the mirror. Harry smiled smugly as Vernon was forced to be nice.
Harry looked around the fridge, wondering what he could eat. Fuck if he was obeying the Dursleys. He settled for a ham and cheese salad sandwich. He couldnt use the oven, didnt know how.
Harry stood in the kitchen, looking out of the window for Hedwig. He had sent Hedwig to Lupins, and that was yesterday. He wanted Hedwig back, Harry just had to tell Ron about last night. And Hermione, of course.
Just as Harry finished his sandwich and looked around the cupboards for some crisps and something to drink, Hedwig flew through the window with a letter attached to her leg. She landed on Harrys shoulder and nipped his fingers as he untied the letter. Wasnt very long, but Harry was used to being told a big fat NOTHING.
Harry unwrapped the letter.
"Hello Harry." Lupin wrote. "I hear youve met Lana." (Harry frowned...was it Lupin who he heard shouting at Lana last night? He couldnt remember who it was, or what was said.) "In case youre wondering why Lanas living on Privet Drive, yes, it is extra security for you, but also for Lana. Voldemort has an eye for talent, and Lana cerainly has it. This way we can watch you both. Hope you had fun last night, and arent too ill. Youre both extremely lucky that it was me on guard, and not Moody or Kingsely. You both would have been in serious trouble." (Psh, Harry thought, Trouble? I seem to bloody attract it anyway. His temper was rising.) "Ron and Hermione arrived at the Orders HQ last night. Dont worry, you shall be with us as soon as it is safe. To answer your question as to what the Order is doing, I cannot tell you everything, you know that. As for the Malfoys...They are being watched. And Dumbledore TRUSTS Snape." (Like thats good enough for you, Harry thought. You hated him as much as my dad and Sirius did...As much as I do for goading Sirius about being a coward. If he hadnt said that, Sirius wouldnt have come that night and Sirius would be alive.) "Be careful. Lupin."
Harry felt his temper rising again, and he screwed the letter up into a ball in his fist.
~*~*~*~*~*~LANAS PLACE~*~*~*~*~*~
Lana woke up on the couch, her hair muzzed up, wearing last nights clothes. She frowned, remembering what Sirius had said to her. "Find it." Did she dream it? Did he pull her astral self into what he called "The Ghost Roads"? or was it a trick similar to the one Voldemort had played on Harry last year, luring him out with Sirius...
A tear fell down Lanas face as she remembered every little detail of the dream - or whatever it was. His voice, his touch, his eyes - Did he have any idea of just how much harder he had made it for her?
Lana felt someones presence in the room before she even turned around.
"Moony?" she asked.
"You wish." drawled a cold voice.
"You were watching me sleep? How very serial killer of you." Lana said coldy. "But then, you are."
"And you, Lana, are a mass murderer." Lucius was sat in a chair opposite Lana on the couch, wearing emerald green robes his sleek blonde hair tucked behind his ears. Behind Lucius, to his right, was Crabbe, to his left Goyle.
"No, I killed 4 Death Eaters at once. Hardly mass." she said, raising an eyebrow at Crabbe and Goyle. "Whats with the monkeys?"
Lucius stared at her, his cold blue eyes baring into her dark brown ones.
Lana sniffed, trying to act all casual and cool, not bothered, but at the same time was trying to protect her mind, she could feel someone trying to get in. Lana threw up images of flowers and fields, but after 2 minutes, it was getting hard.
"So who died and made you my newest stalker?" Lana asked sarcastically, squinting her eyes a little from the strain.
"I believe a certain Mr Sirius Black died."
"Oh, and his very last words happend to be - 'Lucius, please stalk my girlfriend' " she said, again, full of sarcasm.
"Oh no. His last words, if youre intrested, actually, were - 'come on, you can do better than that'," Lucius sneered, expecting Lana to cry.
She smiled. "Arrogant, proud, cocky and eager for battle, right till the end." Lana said to herself fondly.
"Pity you werent there to save his ass like you were the first time..."
Lana stood up and walked towards Lucius, and Crabbe and Goyle made to curse Lana, but Lucius held his hand up.
"You suprise me Lana. I thought you would have some kind of barrier spell on your house. You know, to stop people just...appearing. Someone could kill you in your sleep." he said softly, but full of menace.
Instead of going towards Lucius, she turned to her right and flicked the TV off. "Ive got all the protection I need right here." she said, indicating herself.
"Quite. A little Firestarter arent you? And so much more than that..." he stood up and walked over.
"No closer." Lana said, when Lucius got within 5 foot of her, keeping her eyes locked on his.
"Okay." he said, and stopped.
"Give me your wand." she said, keeping her eyes locked on his, eyes tearing up from the effort of throwing images up and trying to 'push' Lucius.
Lucius began to hand his wand over to Lana, but a gruff voice said "accio wand" and the wand flew into Crabbes hand.
Lana laughed to herself, amused.
Lucius suddenly blinked, the glassy look over his eyes disappearing. He looked around. "Wheres my wand?" Crabbe threw it to him. He caught it and pointed it at Lanas chest. "What did you just do?" he asked, taking a step towards her.
Lana only stopped laughing and raised her eyebrows in response. "Just a little something I learned while I was away." she said, then ran a hand through her hair. "Now are you gonna get to some kind of point?"
Lucius lip curled. "The Dark Lord - "
Lana stepped to the side, mocked a yawn. "Already Im bored."
Lucius narrowed his eyes. "I wonder...Do you know how Sirius died?"
Lana stopped walking, turned around, and said, voice full of venom. "You mention his name again, and youre pretty little wife wont be."
Lucius was confused. He looked to Crabbe and Goyle, who wore bemused expressions almost permanently. "What?"
"Pretty, that is." Lana said slowly, a little smirk playing on her face.
Lucius knew perfectly well what Lana was capable of. He had seen it. Hell, hed been on the receiving end of it. She was as warped as Lestrange when it came to torturing people. He couldnt figure out why she hadnt gone to the Dark Side. All the pain, anger...Enough to turn anyone.
"Question is..." Lucius said slowly, pretending to think. "Was he dead before or after he fell through the Veil?"
Lana was pissed now, and thank fuck that whoever it was had stopped using Legilmens on her. "How the FUCK is that relevant?" she said. "I dont know what kind of game youre playing here Lucius, but youre not gonna win. Do you know why?" she asked. "Because if I lose...and I hate losing...Youre gonna wish youd let me win."
"You wont kill me."
"And why not?"
"Because Ive been inside you." he said, eyes flashing, smirking.
Lana thought she was gonna throw up. "Dont remind me. And while youre at it, dont fucking flatter yourself. It happened once."
"Twice."
"What - fucking - ever."
"We have a connection, whether you like it or not."
"The only thing that Im gonna connect with you again is my fist to your face, you son of a bitch"
"OOooooooo" Lucius sneered, Crabbe and Goyle laughed.
"Oh I forgot, violence is like 3rd base for you." Lana sneered back. "Now get the fuck out of my house."
"I think not." came a cold, sharp voice and a man with lank, greasy black hair with a hook nose swept into the room, wearing robes of black.
Lana burst out laughing. "Snivellus....Oh my god....Look at you Snivy!"
"Shut up." Snape said, flicking a jet of red light at Lana, and it silenced her voice.
OH FUCK! Lana thought. So NOT expecting that. What the fuck is he doing anyway? Thought he was OUR spy, not THIER spy? Oooo Im so glad hes still a Death Eater...I can enjoy killing him later. Lupin'll be glad too. Hates him. But for now...How the hell do I get this curse off me?
"Youre going to stop shooting your mouth off, you arrogant little bitch." Snape spat, wand still pointed at Lana, and he nodded to Lucius who nodded back and took a few steps back. "Youre going to listen to me, listen to me like you never listened to anyone before." Lana raised her eyebrows. "Killing Sirius was just the begining. Wasnt planned, but still....Getting that arrogant twat out of the way was a step in the Dark Lords plans."
Lana didnt know what to think or feel. Snape was here, acting all Death Eater. And he was taking the piss out of Sirius. She felt a burst of rage coming through, and flung herself at Snape, knocking him to the floor. Crabbe and Goyle shot spells at Lana, but she was ready and deflected them with one hand, whilst punching Snape with the other.
Lucius stopped Grabbe and Goyle, and grabbed Lana by the arms, pulling her away from him. Lana kicked Lucius, and he let go. Snape stood up, bleeding from his mouth.
"Lets go." Snape said, and Lucius, Grabbe and Goyle turned around. Snape flicked his wand at Lana when the others werent looking, undoing the curse.
Lucius paused, turned around.
"Have a good time last night Lana? Harrys quite the little drinker, isnt he? Quite the little dancer arent you? Draco and I found it so very amusing." he said cooly, and the 4 of them disapparated.
