Author: IrishRavenX

Title: Little Hope of escape

Summary: It's April Fools day. And the Witchblade has some issues. And you know when the witchblade has issues...you guessed it; everyone is pulled into it. Irons, Ian, Sara, Gabriel, and a few other unlucky souls are about to experience the mischievous side of the Witchblade. Chaos ensues. As usual.

Disclaimer: My precious...yes..precious... Okay. So maybe it's not mine. If it were mine, I'd be sitting down with TnT, and negotiating. Or beating the crap out of them. (Gollum isn't mine either, but he'd be a cool dude to have around the house. Except when he inevitably starts to steal silver wear...)

Authors drivel: Allo again. Here be-eth chapter II, or chapter *2*, for those of you not fond of Roman numerals. I hope you enjoy. The only time I have to write this is during Math class, so chapters may not be up regularly. The only reason I updated so soon is because this idea just happened to break through the writer's block recently plaguing me. Hehehe. Me and my muse are getting along again. Maybe I'll actually re-post "Connections" now, with a new chapter...muahahahahahaha!!! :ahem: ::regains composure, and makes a mental note not to write the spiel for the story after 12 am...

Feedback: Please? Bitte? Por favour? Merci? Prosze? Bhur dtoil e`? Ker`em? Told ya' it would sound pathetic. I do wish for feedback. If I don't get it, I fear will become obsessed with getting reviews, and I will have no time to finish the story...and...and...well, you get the point. It will end up being truly pathetic, with me in locked in my room, or talking to my cat. (Even worse, I don't have a cat!!!) So...yeah...Review. For the cat's sake. ;P

Hm...I guess I'll leave you to read the story now.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Sara parked her Buell and took off her helmet, wincing as she did so. Her head was still quite sore from that morning's events. And there were only so many aspirin you could take. To add to that, her leather jacket was wet, and quite possibly shrinking. Which did not help her mood at all.

She walked up the steps to the station house, dreading the day to come like it was the plague itself. April Fools day was not a good day at the station house, especially for her, one of the only female officers there. But after last year...well, it was safe to say that most of the police officers now had the common sense to leave her be, and keep her out of their practical jokes.

But of course, some never learned.

She opened the door final door to the precinct, only to have a bucket of water dumped on her head from above. Laughter broke out through the office, and someone tossed her a towel.

"Boys, who wishes to be beaten into a bloody pulp first?" Sara inquired innocently, vigorously running towel through her hair.

The precinct fell silent, and people went back to their work, a few of the officers going back to set up the bucket again, when they thought she wasn't looking.

Sara glanced down at her wrist, where the Witchblade was once again laughing, having had no plan of warning her about the prank.

"You want to spent the rest of the day in my pocket? Laugh it up, Twitchy,"

This caused the stone to swirl even faster, and the sensation Sara recognized as laughter to increase. With a sigh, and much paranoid looking about, she walked into her office.

"Morning, Sara," Danny greeted from his desk, seated rather comfortably with his feet up on the desk.

"Mrg," Sara mumbled in reply.

"Hm...sounds as though Sara did not get her coffee today, am I correct?" Danny asked, noting his partner's inability to speak in complete sentence.

"Righto," she muttered. She sat down at her desk, only to be greeted with the sound of a whoopee cushion. Sara glared daggers at Danny.

"Hey, don't look at me," Danny said innocently. Sara was about to respond with a "don't give me that shit", but something more important came up. Jake walked into the office, holding a folder in one hand, but more importantly; a cup of coffee in the other.

Sara practically leaped over the desk, and grabbed the styrofoam cup from him before the rookie could react.

She took a deep sip of it, sloshed it around in her mouth...then, her face turning into one of repulsion, spit it out in disgust. Jake began to laugh so hard his sides hurt and dropped what else he was carrying onto the desk.

"What the hell?" Sara demanded, spitting the remains of the foul beverage out.

"You didn't give me time to warn you," Jake said between his bursts of laughter, "I think it's a combination of old coffee grounds, soda and vinegar. Orlinski got me with it. But hey, two birds with one stone."

Danny put his hand to his mouth to conceal the inevitable smile.

"Yeah, really funny, rookie," Sara growled, punching him, hard, "I'm going to go out to get some real coffee. I've been here five minutes, and I'm already fed up."

Sara looked over to Danny questioningly.

"Want to come with?" Danny sighed.

"I would love to, but unfortunately, the seat of my pants and the pant legs happen to be super glued to these surfaces. But if you could hand me the phone, I'll call Lee and have her bring me some new clothes."

Sara looked at Danny in mystification, wondering why he was so calm about it. Danny inferred this question from the look she gave him, and replied;

"I've come to accept the fact that this place is mad house on April 1st. No use yelling at people until I'm out of this chair and in the position to kick the party responsibles' ass." Danny looked at Jake as he finished his sentence.

"What?!" Jake asked innocently, though, ironically, he was not a very good liar.

"You know what? I'd start booking a plane ticket now if I were you. Or at least find a really, *really* good place to hide," Danny suggested.

Sara sighed, and looked from Danny, to Jake, then to the Witchblade's swirling stone. She pushed the phone to Danny and grabbed her helmet as she made her way out the door. As soon as she wasn't looking, Jake pulled the phone back, out of Danny's reach.

"McCarty..." Danny warned.

Jake just smiled evilly and walked from the room, shutting the door behind him, leaving a very upset Danny behind him in the office.

~*~

"Talismaniac, Gabriel speaking, how may I help you?"

"You can tell me what sort of effect April 1st has on the Witchblade," Ian replied, deciding to cut right to the chase. He disliked this Gabriel boy to some extent, but he was useful. He would rather not have to kill him.

"Ah, hello cryptic stalker man. Nice to hear from you...I think..." Gabriel replied with much sarcasm.

"Mr. Bowman, this call is pertaining to a matter of the upmost importance. I must know, and you seem to be one able to get the information..."

"Whoa," Gabriel interjected, "You, need information from *me*? Little old me? Wow...I must be dreaming..."

Ian's glare was so intense that Gabe could almost see it over the phone.

"What effect does "April Fools" have on the Witchblade? Or the other way around. Either way," Ian asked, glancing towards Irons, who was plopped down in front of the television, watching cartoons, "This could prove to be very crucial."

Gabe sighed and sat back in his chair. He was feeling rather sure of himself around Nottingham at that moment...which was actually rather odd...Gabriel shook his head as if to clear it of the thought. It was a very rare day indeed when Ian called up sounding so desperate. '*So* desperate' in this case being 'not very' but more than usual, in Nottingham's case.

"Well...let's see. It's theoretically thought to have a bit of a trickster spirit in it...something connected to the god Loki on this day. As you probably already know, Loki is the Norse god of Mischief," Gabriel explained, "Ya' know, mix-ups, changes, deceiving behavior...and in some cases, good old practical jokes. But further so than the normal jokes you get on April fools. Psychological tricks, often said to effect people connected to the Switchblade."

Ian felt his hands go cold, along with some of his internal organs as he made this correlation.

"The people connected with the Witchblade?" Ian inquired.

"Yeah, that's what I said. I'm assuming that just means the Wielder..."

Nottingham's silence began to worry Gabe. It began to worry him quite a lot. Nottingham was a quiet guy, yes....but this was more than an uneasy silence. This silence had thoughts of doomsday in it. This silence...was just flat out creepy.

"What are you thinking, Nottingham?"

"Irons told me that everything is connected. I am connected to the Witchblade's cycle, as is Irons...as are many others in Sara's life...which means you, too, Mr. Bowman are at some degree of risk."

"You mean..."

"Yes, Mr. Bowman. Today is not a good day to be a friend of the Wielder. Or to be anywhere near her. Hell, I'd be packed and on a plane to Moscow if my employer had not recently been regressed to a mental state of a five year old."

Gabriel heard the click of the phone being hung up, and just stared at the receiver. What had Nottingham just said?
Ian hung up the phone, staring at his employer, who was laughing as the coyote went off the ledge and was flattened on the ground below. He could not begin to fathom what the Witchblade had in store for him. But whatever it was, he doubted that it would be pleasant, and he was sure that whatever was in store, he had little chance of escaping from it.

~*~

Danny inched towards the phone, twisting himself at an awkward angle. His hand was within inches of the phone...when it began to slip off the desk.

"Noooooooo!!!"

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

A/N: Want more? Well, I want reviews. I think we've come to an understanding here. Think of the poor cat!!! ;P