Disclaimer: If you already know what I'm going to say: clap your hands,
If you already know what I'm going to say: clap your
hand,
This belongs to Top Cow, if you didn't know, you do now,
TnT needs to smarten up, clap your hands.
Heh...
A/N: Thanks for the reviews!!!!!!! I feel sooooo loved. And the cat sends its thanks.
Feedback: ::jumps around happily:: ~~~~ :D...need I say more?
Archive: Sure, sure. Just tell me first.
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Chapter IV
Sara stood on the steps, watching the cops chase the monkey through the parking lot. She was debating whether it was worth it to actually go into the precinct, or whether she should run. Run fast and run far. But she went against her good instincts and pushed open the door, narrowly avoiding the spray of water from above.
This is all getting very old, very fast, Sara thought with a deep sigh.
*
All the way across town, Ian was thinking the very same thing to himself as he tried to get Mr. Irons down from a tree in the backyard of the estate.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sara walked into the office, and only had to get a quick glance before she decided to sprint the rest of the way to her office, and shut the door, bracing her back against it as if she feared some of the insanity would leak in.
"Hi Sara,"
Sara looked around the office, trying to figure out where the voice had come from. She looked around the desk, and saw Danny lying on the floor, his hands behind his head as if relaxing.
"Uh...hi partner," Sara paused, "Did you call Lee?"
"No,"
"Why not?"
"Jake, a monkey that looked like Captain Dante, and a few other really, really bizarre events."
"Oh, well, here, you can use my..." Sara held out her cell phone, but it began to ring.
"Just a second,"
Danny let the hand he was holding out for the phone to fall to the ground.
"Pezzini, go,"
"Lady Sara. It is a comfort to hear your voice,"
"What do you want, Nottingham?"
'A ticket to Moscow,' he thought, "I need to speak with you. It is a matter of great importance."
"I'm a bit busy right now, Nottingham," Sara said, looking through the blinds and into the station house's main office, "I have a few problems right now,"
"Lady Sara, I implore you. I do not know what to do in this particular..." A crash could be heard in the background, "situation," he finished with a defeated sigh.
"You having monkey problems over there, Nottingham?"
"Monkeys? No. But fairly close," Ian replied, watching Kenneth gallivant around the house from the safety of the security room. Most of the staff had been hiding in there when he arrived, but he had told them to get back to their jobs. Though their jobs were near impossible with Iron's current mental state. He had locked the doors to any rooms of importance, that held relics, books, breakables...weapons...house hold utensils...which narrowed it down to a very few rooms.
"Ian...what's going on over there?"
Ian suppressed a laugh. She must be truly concerned. She called me Ian.
"I think you'd have to see it to believe it, but I'd rather you didn't. I will meet you at Gabriel's shop in twenty minutes. If we don't figure this out there, I shall be leaving for Russia until next week." Another crash could be heard, "If I'm not there in twenty minutes, call the paramedics or come to get me, Lady Sara,"
With that, Ian ended the call, leaving a very baffled Sara on the other end. She quickly shut the phone and opened the door to the office.
"Sara..." Danny beseeched.
"I'll be back soon!" Sara promised, dashing into the main office.
Danny groaned and hit his head on the floor again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
**KNOCK-KNOCK**
A dull *thud* and a series of curses followed. Gabriel rolled out from under one of the display cases, and picked up a bat, walking towards the door warily. He looked through the peephole and relaxed visibly. He pulled the door open, and let Nottingham in, slinging the bat casually over his shoulder.
"Oh. It's just you,"
Ian raised an eyebrow in bemusement. The young man seemed to exhibit no fear towards him whatsoever. It was a new development in the young man. He probably would have had the bat more ready to swing on normal days...
"You didn't happen to send a bunch of people over here to kill me or anything, did you?" Gabriel asked, setting the bat down next to his desk.
"No, not that I know of," Ian replied.
Gabriel shrugged and walked over to his computer chair.
"Is Lady Sara here of yet?"
"Not unless she came in with the assassins,"
"Assassins?" Ian was trying to figure out whether the boy was being serious, or this was an 'April Fools' joke.
"Yeah. They seemed quite bent on killing me," Gabriel said, picking up the pieces of some of his broken merchandise.
'That is the point of an assassin,' Ian thought to himself, "How did they get inside your shop? The door does not seem to be broken, nor any of the windows. Did you let them in the front door?"
"Of course not. They must have gotten in the same way the rabbits did."
"Rabbits?" Ian inquired.
As he spoke, one hopped into view.
"Damn. I thought I got all of them," Gabe sighed and scooped up the fluffy white animal.
"Hold her for a second, will you?" Gabriel didn't wait for Ian to reply, and just shoved the rabbit into the assassin's arms.
Ian watched the young man walk off into the back of the shop, suddenly wishing he hand stayed at the mansion. Mr. Bowman was much more tolerable when he was in a state of constant fear. His cell phone rung, and he shifted the rabbit so he could get his phone out of the inner pocket of his coat. It became so inconvenient to hold the phone and the squirming rabbit that he dropped the fuzzy creature into a pocket of his trench coat.
"Nottingham here,"
"Nottingham...sir...we're having a few problems over here." Nottingham immediately recognized the voice the assistant-head of security, Robert Daniels.
"What is it?"
"Mr. Irons has broken through some of the doors...he's gotten into the weapons room, sir."
"Use the tranquilizer gun, then put him in front of a television in the room with the least expensive breakables."
"Yes sir."
Ian closed his phone and put it away, then fished the rabbit out of his pocket. He heard the door of the shop open, followed by Detective Pezzini's voice.
"Gabriel? Nottingham?"
"Hello, Lady Sara," Nottingham said, stepping into view, from the virtually inexistent shadows.
"Jesus, Nottingham. You scared the..." Sara bit her lip.
"Is that a bunny?"
Nottingham looked at the creature, which twitched its nose in response.
"I believe so,"
"Where did it come from?"
"Hiya, Chief. I'd ask that little fiend on your wrist if I were you. The rabbits came in after the assassins," Gabriel said, walking out of the back room, "Can't say which was worse."
"Assassins?" Sara asked.
"Yeah. Around nine-thirty."
Sara grimaced noticeably. That was around the time when she had put the bracelet in her pocket. The jewel of the blade was still swirling; and she could swear it was smiling.
"Feeling proud of your self, huh?" Sara asked, glaring down at the smug bracelet.
"I wouldn't taunt it if I were you," Gabriel warned, "And in fact, as someone trapped in its little web, I beg you not to."
"Oh really? Do explain,"
"Okay...well...Traditionally, this chaos only lasts for one day. But if you piss it off enough..."
Gabe paused; both Nottingham and Sara were staring at him intently.
"This chaos. It could, in theory, and I believe has done before..." Gabe paused again, "...it could last a little over a week."
"A WEEK?!" Sara yelled
Gabe flinched. That was the reaction he was expecting. Even Nottingham took a step back.
"I've had five hours of this, and I'm already fed up!!!"
"Four hours and fifty-three minutes," corrected Ian, quietly.
"Whatever," Sara sighed, "In any case, this thing is screwing everyone up, and we need to find a way to stop it. I don't want to think og what will happen if it starts to effect the whole population of New York City!"
'They are odd enough already,' Ian thought to himself.
"Hey!" Sara protested, slapping Ian upside the head, "Don't diss New Yorkers."
Ian got the 'deer-in-the-headlights' look. Had he said that out loud?
"It couldn't do that, could it?" Gabriel asked, wondering what Nottingham had just gotten hit for, "Not everyone in New York...could it?!"
"The Witchblade in a very powerful object, Mr. Bowman. That combined with the power of Loki...there is no telling how far it will go, or what effects it will have on the population."
Sara and Gabriel began to hold back laughter rather unsuccessfully.
"What? I see no humor in this rather drastic situation,"
He followed their gazes to the rabbit he was holding, which had begun to chew on his hair. The two broke into uncontrollable laughter.
"This is not a time to be acting like children," Ian protested, pulling his hair from the creature's mouth, and putting the animal back in his pocket.
"It's hard when you, Ian Nottingham, assassin extraordinaire are standing there holding a bunny rabbit while explaining some cryptic and complex aspect of the Witchblade." Sara said in-between gasps of air.
Ian sighed and walked towards the door.
"Woah, Nottingham, where are you going?"
"Moscow,"
He continued towards the door, but Sara walked over to block his path.
"I need your help here, Ian. You seem to be one of the few sane and unaffected people left. Except for this urge to flee you seem to have going. Very un-Nottingham."
"My employer has been reverted to the mental state of a hyperactive five year old, and I have little tolerance for the man when he acts his age." Ian paused, "But I mean that with the up-most respect..."
"Yeah, how old is that geezer by now any way? 110? 115?" Gabe jested, "The bastard doesn't look a day over eighty. Vampire," He muttered under his breath.
"You little." Nottingham made a lunge at Gabriel, but Sara grabbed him around the waist, that blade contorting into its "brass knuckles" form. Tendrils from the blade wrapped around his body, and held him back. "Gabe, Ian and I are going down to the police station, see if we can figure a way to get the Zoo.ahem.precinct.back under control. Then we're going to check up on Mr. Irons," Sara struggled to pull Nottingham out the door, "I'll check in with you later. Try to avoid assassins, will ya'?"
With a final burst of strength, and a jab in Nottingham's stomach from the gauntlet, Sara pulled him outside and kicked the door shut.
"NOTTINGHAM!" Sara yelled the struggling man. She knew he could have easily thrown her aside, but oddly enough, he did not.
"Why do I defend him?" Ian said aloud, mainly to himself, stopping his struggle. Why did he defend the man who treated him like an animal, like a possession.a possession with which Irons believed he could do as he pleased?
"I don't know, Nottingham, that's just one thing you have to figure out for yourself," Sara automatically brought her hand up to touch Ian's cheek, but pulled away when she realized what she was doing, "Come on, Nottingham. I have to go save Danny from the endless torture of the precinct."
"Why does he not just leave? Detective Woo seems to have a bit more common sense than to stay in a mad house."
"He's super glued to his chair," Sara said briskly.
"Ah. Of course. The obvious explanation."
Sara looked over at him as the entered the alley, catching the smile and twinkle of humor in his caramel eyes.
"You should smile more, Nottingham," Sara said, 'You look so handsome when you do...'
Sara continued on, but Ian stopped and smiled again. It felt good to smile.
He glanced down at his coat, feeling an irregular weight; then remembering the rabbit. He pulled the fluffy white creature from his pocket and caught up with Sara. They went to their separate vehicles and started towards the police station. They could nary imagine what awaited them.
**************************************************************************** ************* ~*~ **************************************************************************** *************
A/N: ::Pulls off headphones:: This story has been sponsored by my odd choices in music: ( To name a few...System of Down, Flogging Molly, The Beatles, Weird Al, Harvey Danger, John Williams, Mark Snow), my chronic insomnia. Why I've told you this? Keep reading.
I got an e-mail asking me 'what the hell this story is supposed to be about, and where the hell I'm going with it.' (The exact words were a tad more unpleasant, crass and degrading than that.) My reply to this person, (who shall remain nameless 'cause I'm nice like that) is:
It's about April Fools, and the effect of the day on the Witchblade, which, as you may have noticed, is a bit hectic. I'm sorry if it's not as serious as you think it should be...but if you haven't noticed, we as writers are titled to a sense of humor.
Where it's going: I HAVE NO CLUE. I'm making this up as I go along, with help from my temporarily cooperative muse, music, my Witchblade notes and pictures, and my insane homeroom. So, mi'dear, if you have something you wish for me to add; or any more qualms you wish to add, run it by me, and I'll be glad to consider or explain it. :P
(Subliminal Message: REVEIWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW)
Heh...
A/N: Thanks for the reviews!!!!!!! I feel sooooo loved. And the cat sends its thanks.
Feedback: ::jumps around happily:: ~~~~ :D...need I say more?
Archive: Sure, sure. Just tell me first.
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Chapter IV
Sara stood on the steps, watching the cops chase the monkey through the parking lot. She was debating whether it was worth it to actually go into the precinct, or whether she should run. Run fast and run far. But she went against her good instincts and pushed open the door, narrowly avoiding the spray of water from above.
This is all getting very old, very fast, Sara thought with a deep sigh.
*
All the way across town, Ian was thinking the very same thing to himself as he tried to get Mr. Irons down from a tree in the backyard of the estate.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sara walked into the office, and only had to get a quick glance before she decided to sprint the rest of the way to her office, and shut the door, bracing her back against it as if she feared some of the insanity would leak in.
"Hi Sara,"
Sara looked around the office, trying to figure out where the voice had come from. She looked around the desk, and saw Danny lying on the floor, his hands behind his head as if relaxing.
"Uh...hi partner," Sara paused, "Did you call Lee?"
"No,"
"Why not?"
"Jake, a monkey that looked like Captain Dante, and a few other really, really bizarre events."
"Oh, well, here, you can use my..." Sara held out her cell phone, but it began to ring.
"Just a second,"
Danny let the hand he was holding out for the phone to fall to the ground.
"Pezzini, go,"
"Lady Sara. It is a comfort to hear your voice,"
"What do you want, Nottingham?"
'A ticket to Moscow,' he thought, "I need to speak with you. It is a matter of great importance."
"I'm a bit busy right now, Nottingham," Sara said, looking through the blinds and into the station house's main office, "I have a few problems right now,"
"Lady Sara, I implore you. I do not know what to do in this particular..." A crash could be heard in the background, "situation," he finished with a defeated sigh.
"You having monkey problems over there, Nottingham?"
"Monkeys? No. But fairly close," Ian replied, watching Kenneth gallivant around the house from the safety of the security room. Most of the staff had been hiding in there when he arrived, but he had told them to get back to their jobs. Though their jobs were near impossible with Iron's current mental state. He had locked the doors to any rooms of importance, that held relics, books, breakables...weapons...house hold utensils...which narrowed it down to a very few rooms.
"Ian...what's going on over there?"
Ian suppressed a laugh. She must be truly concerned. She called me Ian.
"I think you'd have to see it to believe it, but I'd rather you didn't. I will meet you at Gabriel's shop in twenty minutes. If we don't figure this out there, I shall be leaving for Russia until next week." Another crash could be heard, "If I'm not there in twenty minutes, call the paramedics or come to get me, Lady Sara,"
With that, Ian ended the call, leaving a very baffled Sara on the other end. She quickly shut the phone and opened the door to the office.
"Sara..." Danny beseeched.
"I'll be back soon!" Sara promised, dashing into the main office.
Danny groaned and hit his head on the floor again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
**KNOCK-KNOCK**
A dull *thud* and a series of curses followed. Gabriel rolled out from under one of the display cases, and picked up a bat, walking towards the door warily. He looked through the peephole and relaxed visibly. He pulled the door open, and let Nottingham in, slinging the bat casually over his shoulder.
"Oh. It's just you,"
Ian raised an eyebrow in bemusement. The young man seemed to exhibit no fear towards him whatsoever. It was a new development in the young man. He probably would have had the bat more ready to swing on normal days...
"You didn't happen to send a bunch of people over here to kill me or anything, did you?" Gabriel asked, setting the bat down next to his desk.
"No, not that I know of," Ian replied.
Gabriel shrugged and walked over to his computer chair.
"Is Lady Sara here of yet?"
"Not unless she came in with the assassins,"
"Assassins?" Ian was trying to figure out whether the boy was being serious, or this was an 'April Fools' joke.
"Yeah. They seemed quite bent on killing me," Gabriel said, picking up the pieces of some of his broken merchandise.
'That is the point of an assassin,' Ian thought to himself, "How did they get inside your shop? The door does not seem to be broken, nor any of the windows. Did you let them in the front door?"
"Of course not. They must have gotten in the same way the rabbits did."
"Rabbits?" Ian inquired.
As he spoke, one hopped into view.
"Damn. I thought I got all of them," Gabe sighed and scooped up the fluffy white animal.
"Hold her for a second, will you?" Gabriel didn't wait for Ian to reply, and just shoved the rabbit into the assassin's arms.
Ian watched the young man walk off into the back of the shop, suddenly wishing he hand stayed at the mansion. Mr. Bowman was much more tolerable when he was in a state of constant fear. His cell phone rung, and he shifted the rabbit so he could get his phone out of the inner pocket of his coat. It became so inconvenient to hold the phone and the squirming rabbit that he dropped the fuzzy creature into a pocket of his trench coat.
"Nottingham here,"
"Nottingham...sir...we're having a few problems over here." Nottingham immediately recognized the voice the assistant-head of security, Robert Daniels.
"What is it?"
"Mr. Irons has broken through some of the doors...he's gotten into the weapons room, sir."
"Use the tranquilizer gun, then put him in front of a television in the room with the least expensive breakables."
"Yes sir."
Ian closed his phone and put it away, then fished the rabbit out of his pocket. He heard the door of the shop open, followed by Detective Pezzini's voice.
"Gabriel? Nottingham?"
"Hello, Lady Sara," Nottingham said, stepping into view, from the virtually inexistent shadows.
"Jesus, Nottingham. You scared the..." Sara bit her lip.
"Is that a bunny?"
Nottingham looked at the creature, which twitched its nose in response.
"I believe so,"
"Where did it come from?"
"Hiya, Chief. I'd ask that little fiend on your wrist if I were you. The rabbits came in after the assassins," Gabriel said, walking out of the back room, "Can't say which was worse."
"Assassins?" Sara asked.
"Yeah. Around nine-thirty."
Sara grimaced noticeably. That was around the time when she had put the bracelet in her pocket. The jewel of the blade was still swirling; and she could swear it was smiling.
"Feeling proud of your self, huh?" Sara asked, glaring down at the smug bracelet.
"I wouldn't taunt it if I were you," Gabriel warned, "And in fact, as someone trapped in its little web, I beg you not to."
"Oh really? Do explain,"
"Okay...well...Traditionally, this chaos only lasts for one day. But if you piss it off enough..."
Gabe paused; both Nottingham and Sara were staring at him intently.
"This chaos. It could, in theory, and I believe has done before..." Gabe paused again, "...it could last a little over a week."
"A WEEK?!" Sara yelled
Gabe flinched. That was the reaction he was expecting. Even Nottingham took a step back.
"I've had five hours of this, and I'm already fed up!!!"
"Four hours and fifty-three minutes," corrected Ian, quietly.
"Whatever," Sara sighed, "In any case, this thing is screwing everyone up, and we need to find a way to stop it. I don't want to think og what will happen if it starts to effect the whole population of New York City!"
'They are odd enough already,' Ian thought to himself.
"Hey!" Sara protested, slapping Ian upside the head, "Don't diss New Yorkers."
Ian got the 'deer-in-the-headlights' look. Had he said that out loud?
"It couldn't do that, could it?" Gabriel asked, wondering what Nottingham had just gotten hit for, "Not everyone in New York...could it?!"
"The Witchblade in a very powerful object, Mr. Bowman. That combined with the power of Loki...there is no telling how far it will go, or what effects it will have on the population."
Sara and Gabriel began to hold back laughter rather unsuccessfully.
"What? I see no humor in this rather drastic situation,"
He followed their gazes to the rabbit he was holding, which had begun to chew on his hair. The two broke into uncontrollable laughter.
"This is not a time to be acting like children," Ian protested, pulling his hair from the creature's mouth, and putting the animal back in his pocket.
"It's hard when you, Ian Nottingham, assassin extraordinaire are standing there holding a bunny rabbit while explaining some cryptic and complex aspect of the Witchblade." Sara said in-between gasps of air.
Ian sighed and walked towards the door.
"Woah, Nottingham, where are you going?"
"Moscow,"
He continued towards the door, but Sara walked over to block his path.
"I need your help here, Ian. You seem to be one of the few sane and unaffected people left. Except for this urge to flee you seem to have going. Very un-Nottingham."
"My employer has been reverted to the mental state of a hyperactive five year old, and I have little tolerance for the man when he acts his age." Ian paused, "But I mean that with the up-most respect..."
"Yeah, how old is that geezer by now any way? 110? 115?" Gabe jested, "The bastard doesn't look a day over eighty. Vampire," He muttered under his breath.
"You little." Nottingham made a lunge at Gabriel, but Sara grabbed him around the waist, that blade contorting into its "brass knuckles" form. Tendrils from the blade wrapped around his body, and held him back. "Gabe, Ian and I are going down to the police station, see if we can figure a way to get the Zoo.ahem.precinct.back under control. Then we're going to check up on Mr. Irons," Sara struggled to pull Nottingham out the door, "I'll check in with you later. Try to avoid assassins, will ya'?"
With a final burst of strength, and a jab in Nottingham's stomach from the gauntlet, Sara pulled him outside and kicked the door shut.
"NOTTINGHAM!" Sara yelled the struggling man. She knew he could have easily thrown her aside, but oddly enough, he did not.
"Why do I defend him?" Ian said aloud, mainly to himself, stopping his struggle. Why did he defend the man who treated him like an animal, like a possession.a possession with which Irons believed he could do as he pleased?
"I don't know, Nottingham, that's just one thing you have to figure out for yourself," Sara automatically brought her hand up to touch Ian's cheek, but pulled away when she realized what she was doing, "Come on, Nottingham. I have to go save Danny from the endless torture of the precinct."
"Why does he not just leave? Detective Woo seems to have a bit more common sense than to stay in a mad house."
"He's super glued to his chair," Sara said briskly.
"Ah. Of course. The obvious explanation."
Sara looked over at him as the entered the alley, catching the smile and twinkle of humor in his caramel eyes.
"You should smile more, Nottingham," Sara said, 'You look so handsome when you do...'
Sara continued on, but Ian stopped and smiled again. It felt good to smile.
He glanced down at his coat, feeling an irregular weight; then remembering the rabbit. He pulled the fluffy white creature from his pocket and caught up with Sara. They went to their separate vehicles and started towards the police station. They could nary imagine what awaited them.
**************************************************************************** ************* ~*~ **************************************************************************** *************
A/N: ::Pulls off headphones:: This story has been sponsored by my odd choices in music: ( To name a few...System of Down, Flogging Molly, The Beatles, Weird Al, Harvey Danger, John Williams, Mark Snow), my chronic insomnia. Why I've told you this? Keep reading.
I got an e-mail asking me 'what the hell this story is supposed to be about, and where the hell I'm going with it.' (The exact words were a tad more unpleasant, crass and degrading than that.) My reply to this person, (who shall remain nameless 'cause I'm nice like that) is:
It's about April Fools, and the effect of the day on the Witchblade, which, as you may have noticed, is a bit hectic. I'm sorry if it's not as serious as you think it should be...but if you haven't noticed, we as writers are titled to a sense of humor.
Where it's going: I HAVE NO CLUE. I'm making this up as I go along, with help from my temporarily cooperative muse, music, my Witchblade notes and pictures, and my insane homeroom. So, mi'dear, if you have something you wish for me to add; or any more qualms you wish to add, run it by me, and I'll be glad to consider or explain it. :P
(Subliminal Message: REVEIWREVIEWREVIEWREVIEW)
