Harry stamped up the stairs and walked quickly down the hallway and slammed into Room 12. He slammed it that hard that the glass in the top of the door shattered, but it repaired itself.

Sitting down on his bed, Harry kicked off his shoes. He shuffled back so he was leaning against the wall. He noted that it was a double bed, and he was glad for the extra space.

The journal was bound in black leather, with gold letters on the front. "The Journal of the Maurders. (with sections from the women.)" Harry grinned at the title of it, and carefully opened it.

The first page was a photo of everyone from the original Order of the Phoenix. The same one that Moody had shown him. The caption simply read "Order of the Phoenix" with a list of names underneath. Harry saw that Lanas last name was Madison-Black. So they were married? Harry thought, confused. Never saw a ring on Sirius' finger. He never even mentioned his own wife? Not nice, he thought. And strange. The next page had James, Sirius, Peter and Remus on. Underneath it read "Prongs, Padfoot, Wormtail and Moony." They were all there, no older than 18. He felt a surge of rage that Pettigrew was on the photo, acting all buddy-buddy with them, when he would betray them and wreck their lives forever.

The anger disappeared as Harry looked at the opposite page. It was his mother, Lily with Lana. He got a bit of a shock looking at this one, but only because Lana looked so young. He figured she must have been 16. His mothers bright green eyes looked at him, and he felt a surge of love for the mother he would never know. They were wearing matching outfits, and Lana was a good 4 inches smaller than his mother, and it made him smile. They had their arms wrapped around each other and were laughing, although the photo made no noise.

Below this photo, was the caption "Lily and Lana B.O.F.F." with a little star. Beneath this photo was another 2. Lily and James - Harrys parents. Gazing lovingly into each others eyes. Tears prickled behind Harrys eyes. The second photo was Lana and Sirius. He frowned at this one. It looked like they were arguing. But even as he stared at the photo, they hugged each other, and grinned up at Harry. The caption read - "They attained the unattainable." Next to it, which he recognised as Lanas writing, she had written "So were not good enough then?! :P" and then next to that, which was Sirius writing, it said "Nope, youre not good enough. Youre too good ;)" to which Lana had written "Aww baby xxx"

The next 15 or so pages were just photos of the Maurders, Lily, Lana, members of the Order, Moody, Dumbledore, and a few others. On one photo, that was just Peter (there was single photos of all of them) in a thick black marker pen, someone had written "traitor" over his photo and made a big cross over it. Probably Lana, he thought, looks like something shed do.

The photos were in random order, with some of them as young as around 12 or 13, Harry thought. Lupin still has the same tired and pale complexion; Sirius looked really different, but the young and handsome man he had once been shone through at times; his father was dead; and he didnt really give a shit what Pettigrew looked like. His mother was dead, and there were a few differences to Lana. She had a great scar on her left arm;her eyes were hollowed and gave off that same haunted look as Sirius' had; (Harry had wondered on occasion if shed been in Azkaban) and her hair was longer.

He laughed as he came across a photo of Lana and Lupin wrestling, he was kicking her ass and she was not happy. The last photo was of them all at the Christmas Ball of their 7th year (obviously Lanas 5th). Peter and his date were on the left, then Lupin and his girl, who Harry recognised but couldnt work out who it was, then it was Lana and Sirius, and on the right, Lily and James. Lily and Lana were obviously trying to hold Sirius and James steady. The caption read. "Drunk, as usual, on the biggest night of our school lives!"

Harry wondered what Lana meant by "you might find things in there that you dont like." He loved it so far!

When he turned the next page, he understood what Lana had meant.

Here was the newspaper reports he had seen briefly.

Reports on Voldemort. Photos of Death Eaters, with information scrawled around them, their specialities, weaknesses, positions at the Ministry, etc. No doubt Lana had gotten most of that information. Notes on the Dark Arts - spells that they had just discovered that Voldemort was using, their effects, who could cast them. Obituaries. Benjy Fenwick. His grandparents, on both sides. A few other people. Harry was skimming them fast because he didnt want to read them. Around 5 pages of them, then came the theories. Handwritten by Lana, Lily and the Maurders, were anti-dark arts spells, theories on why Voldemort wanted certain people dead, on who he had sent. Harry noticed, that three names popped up most often : Bellatrix, Lucius and Nott. Seemed they were the trio Voldemort sent on his high-profile killings and kidnappings. Death reports. Photos of the scenes, and they had been careful not to stick any of the bodies, if there was any body left, into the journal. However, there were a few horrific photos that Harry wished he hadnt seen. 10 pages worth of newspaper articles on the killings and the robberies. Yet more Obituraies. Mentions of Avery and Macnair using the Cruciatus Curse on Lana until Moody had rescued her. His father had written about when Voldemort had captured him, tried to recruit him using the Imperius Curse, and how he had thrown it off quite easily.

Slamming the book shut, he closed his eyes. Why would his parents want him to see this? Why would his Godparents want him to see this? Since Harry only had 1 of the 4 left, he would ask Lana. Hed barely skimmed the book, just read the headings and the things that had been written in colour. Things that had stood out. Like under Lucius' Malfoys weaknesses, was written - "Lana." Harry understood, sort of, from the stuff Lana had told him about Lucius having a crush on her.

Harry felt sick. And tired. How many innocent people had died in the first war? How many people in the Order had made sacrifice upon sacrifice? And for what?

Re-opening the book at the page hed shut it at, Harry felt his stomach tighten. It was dated - 1st November 1981.

His heart was pounding. Quite clearly Lanas writing, although it was shaky and not in straight lines.

"I cant even begin to decribe what happened last night. I dont want to. I dont want to think of it. Of Lily, of James, of Harry. Of Sirius. But I have to, because I have to get it down on paper. I cant, wont go into detail because of...Well I dont want to. Lily and James are dead. Peter, the bastard..Betrayed them. God knows whats going to happen now. Hagrid took Harry to Dumbledore. Wouldnt let Sirius have him. OH NO! Nobody knew about Lily and James switching Secret-Keepers....I know because...I was there when Peter handed them over to Voldemort. When that little bastard told him. Voldemorts gone. But at the expense of two of my best friends, probably at the expense of Sirius and Lupin."

The next few lines were smudged with what Harry could only assume were tears. He felt himself crying as he read the next few lines.

"Its now a few days since Lily and James were murdered. Im told Harry is with the Dursleys, but I cant risk going to see him, or anyone, because they think I did it. They think I was in league with Voldemort. They all think the same about Sirius too. Even Moony doesnt believe us. This is crazy, crazy and fucking stupid and confusing and I dont know who to trust or what to do...Dammit. I want to kill Peter. I will kill him. I will avenge my best friends. And with me and Sirius being together, it seems to everyone that we were both in it for Voldemort. Nothing could be further from the truth.

So here it is.

Sirius sentenced to life in Azkaban. Lupin, I have no idea. James and Lily dead. Peter I dont know or care. Apparently dead, but the little bastard is probably not. Alice and Frank....Tortured. In Mungos forever. Poor Neville. and me...Sentenced to a life of silence. Of not being able to prove my innocence, of not being able to prove Sirius', of knowing that Moony thinks Im a Death Eater. Sentenced to seeing my friends being murdered, of hearing their screams and pleas over and over, of hearing Harry cry, of not being able to do anything about it.

Ive lost evrything. And it will haunt me for the rest of my life. Because I KNEW, dammit, I KNEW on some level, that it was Peter. Thats why I suggested to Dumbledore that I go in through Lucius. That Dumbledore and I keep it to ourselves, which we did."

Harry turned the page, but there was nothing. Shocked, stunned, tears flowing down his face, a million questions spinning in his mind...