Cinimond (Disclaimer): I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, I don't the computer I using
and so forth, so if you Konami bitches want to sew me go ahead and take the
£2 and a stick I own Muhahaha.
Kaino: What do you own then.
Cinimond: My own two feet.
Celvise *sawing off my feet*: Not any more, wonder how much I could get on Ebay for these.
Cinimond: Proof that you really can find anything on ebay.
Kaino: Let's just get on with this thing PLEASE.
Cinimond: One more thing this is an over used idea I know and that Battle City has been used to death, but I have made a few changes and they are not that different though, enjoy. ___________________________________________________________
Chapter 1: The Powers Awake (Well not yet, its just a cool title).
????: HEEELLLLLLLOOOO. Kaino are you awake yet.
Kaino: 10 more mins.
Kaino the person incapable of putting effort into anything in his life only a shell of his former self after losing everything. The only person who hasn't given completely up on him is his Best Friend after giving so much and getting nothing in return.
Celvise: That's it I coming in. (Extremely loudly) WAKE UP!?!
Celvise a never knows when to quit best friend of Kaino and always sticks by him no matter what even if he didn't want her help. She can read him like a book and always knows want he is really thinking, which really pisses him off but the level of understanding isn't always helpful.
Kaino *Recovering from a heart attack* Gets Turkey out the fridge. Celvise: You know that what-ya-ma-call-it thing starts today. Kaino puts the Turkey in the Microwave. Celvise: Oh what's it called. Kaino *Puts Microwave in oven*: Dual Monsters. Celvise: That's the one, which Tournament you are constantly on about starts today. Better get ready.
Kaino runs all over the place throwing his Deck together and ran out the door with Celvise following behind.
They both arrive at the Battle City Tournament site.
Announcer: This tournament will consist of the best Dualists in the world (Kaino smirks and gets hit on the head by Celvise) you all must defeat 10 opponent's which will be recorded by your Dual Disk, DD for short if you loss even one Dual your out of the Tournament and illegal tempering with the DD is against the Rules and you must hand over your entire Deck to your opponent as a prize and you will be... yack yack yack.
Kaino: Okay who's my first victim. Celvise: Mmm maybe you could put on the weak kids that will get you to the finals easy. You don't want to loss your entire Deck. Kaino: Okay let's see, you kid I want a Dual.
????: But I just started Dual Monsters. Kaino: Who cares your in the tournament lets Dual.
Both shuffle their Decks set the DD and begin.
????: I'll start with one card face-down and set one Monster and end my turn.
Kaino: I Summon Archfiend Soldier in attack mode and attack. ????: Activate Insect Larva Trap card which copies one Insect Monsters Effect, Attack and Defence power and you destroyed Skull-Marked Ladybug gives me 1000 more life points and do you end your Turn.
Kaino: I set two cards and end my turn.
????: I Set another Monster card and end my turn.
Kaino: I Summon Terrorking Archfiend in attack mode and attack you're Skull- Marked Ladybug and its effect is negated by his effect and Archfiend Soldier attacks your other card with Archfiend Soldier.
___________________________________________________________ Cinimond: I am a ware that Parasite Paraside's effect isn't activated if it's destroyed but since no good reason is given for this I don't play like that.
Kaino: You really are so boring no one cares God. ___________________________________________________________
????: You shouldn't have done that Parasite Paraside's effect is activated in your Deck it goes.
Kaino: Duho, I end my turn.
????: I activate Insect Barrier, Jade Insect Whistle which Summons my beautiful Parasite Paraside to the top of your Deck and Summons it tot the Field and end my turn.
Kaino: Great I can't attack and loss 800 life points, so I Summon Infernoqueen Archfiend in Defence mode and activate two Life-Force Absorbing Machines and end my turn.
????: I now Set one Monster and end my turn.
Kaino: You've made a good move but you seem a to have gone back to boring again oh well. ????: Shudda up who asked you. Kaino: Just saying (whispering: kids), and now I Summon Archfiend Soldier and increase my Infernoqueen Archfiends attack power by 1000 attack points and. ????: Hold it I activate Reverse Trap and her attack is now 0. Kaino *-_- sighs*: I play a card face-down and end my turn. What is your name anyway. Shudo: Shudo the Insect Master I make Evil Underpants (Weevil Underwood) look like a moron, which he is.
Kaino: okay. Celvise: Are all Dualists as well strange as him. Kaino: Comes with the territory.
Shudo: I Summon Neobug in attack mode and attack Infernoqueen Archfiend. *Neobug raised its claws and cleanly cut Infernoqueen Archfiend in half leaving nothing but a big mess. Kaino: What's the matter loser can't get my better monsters. Shudo: I would but they seem and little tied up right now *laughs* I set one card and end my turn. Celvise: That is the crapist joke ever and I've heard all of yours Kaino. *Kaino Anime Fall (AF)*
Kaino: I draw ALRIGHT I play Checkmate and sacrifice Parasite Paraside and attack!? ___________________________________________________________ Cinimond: Hold it I...
???? *ties up Cinimond and gags*: No more shit from you.
There was much rejoicing and then a fart. ___________________________________________________________
Kaino: directly with Terrorking Archfiend and now!? Shudo: I use DNA Surgery to change them all to Insect-types again told ya (LP: 3000). Kaino: No more interruptions (LP: 1400) okay I'll use another Life Force Absorbing Machine and Summon Shadowknight Archfiend and play Battle-Scared now you pay for Terrorking as well.
Shudo: (LP:2200) not good, okay I Set Monster and end my turn.
Kaino: Got ya, (LP: 1800) mine go up your LP goes down Muhahaha. I Summon another Archfiend Soldier and end my turn.
Shudo: I draw now my turn to laugh haha. Kaino: you should work on that. Shudo: I Summon the Insect Queen and sacrifice Neobug and Skull-Marked Ladybug (Att: 2600) and gain 1000 LP (LP: 2000) and attack Terrorking Archfiend I sacrifice Pinch Hopper:
Pinch Hopper got devoured and the Insect Queen shot high pressured acid at Terrorking who put his blade in front of him and resisted it for a moment but the acid burned the sword and Terrorking fell, what was left of him that is.
Kaino: Not good, I forgot how low my LP is (LP: 1400) okay my turn and I play Solemn Wishes and gain 900 altogether (LP: 2300), discard Desrook Archfiend to Special Summon Terrorking back to the field now I'll switch all my Monsters to defence.
Shudo: My move and I Summon this card in attack mode and use Cost Down discard Skull-Marked Ladybug and gain 1000 LP (LP: 3000). Kaino: Thank god that's the last one. Shudo: And Summon Insect Princess (Insect Queen Att: 2800) and play Banner of Courage and attack Archfiend Soldier and (Insect Princess Att: 2400) end my turn not forgetting my Insect Token.
Kaino: This has got very confusslying to keep up with anyway (LP: 3000) okay time to take control I play Terraforming and Gryphons Feather Duster (LP: 5000) and now say hello to Pandemonium Field-Change card and Summon Infernoqueen Archfiend and play one card face-down and play Card of Sanctity which lets us both draw 6 cards, play another card face-down and end my turn.
Shudo: I draw, play and sacrifice Anti-Aircraft Flower to attack with Insect Queen here we go again ahaha. Kaino: Not bad but still could use some work now I activate Sakuretsu Armour:
As the Flower was devour Terrorking Archfiend stood ready and armour appeared on him which deflected the acid straight back at Insect Queen and Terrorking watched as Insect Queen was burned to death slowly and laughed as he heard her scream in pain.
Kaino: Nice work Terrorking are you going to attack again. Shudo *staring at his face-down card*: I will at...play this card face-down... and end my turn.
Kaino *thinking*: I will have to think of something quick okay what are my options mmm. I draw... oh my I use Contract with the Dark Ruler and sacrifice these two cards from my Hand and Summon Zork the Dark Master and use his special effect and roll... 5 all your monsters are destroyed bye bye. Shudo: No my beautiful Insect Princess *cries* how. Kaino: I will increase Inferno Archfiend attack by 1000 (att: 1900) and my turn is over.
Celvise: When are you going to get rid of his bloody combo you moron. Kaino: I'm working on it. Celvise: That's what you always say then you lose, loser. Kaino: Bitch. Celvise: Person who couldn't get out of a wet paper bag. Kaino: The bag wasn't wet or paper is plastic and... SHUT UP we do not talk about that around anyone else.
Shudo: Right, anyway I Summon another Anti-Aircraft Flower and End my Turn.
Kaino: My move and I will activate Re-Dice Roll and end my turn.
Shudo: Okay I will summon Insect Soldier of the Sky and sacrifice it to deal 800 damage to your LP (LP: 4400) and end my turn.
Kaino: May not look much but that card could do some damage I draw and increase my Terrorking Archfiend's attack by 1000 (att: 3000) and play Shadowknight Archfiend and end my turn.
Shudo: I will play another Insect Soldier of the Sky and play Multiplication of Ants and sacrifice both Insect Tokens and do 1600 damage and then I sacrifice Anti-Aircraft Flower to Summon Empress Mantis and attack Shadowknight Archfiend and end my turn. (LP: 2600)
Kaino: Mmm that was a stupid move if you think about it. I need away to destroy that Insect Barrier but what I. I play two cards face-down, increase Terrorking Archfiend attack by 1000 (att: 4000) and end my turn.
Shudo: I attack Infernoqueen Archfiend (LP: 2100) and end my turn.
Kaino: Mmm... ... erm I've run out of decent cards. Not good okay Zork and Terrorking are stronger than Mantis but Insect Barrier blocks their attacks and I still can't destroy it mmm I use Zork's effect and roll... 6 I redo the dice roll with Re-Dice Rolls effects and get 1 I destroy Mantis.
Shudo: My move... so bored I might end up quitting at this rate... your Duelling skills is only matched by your drooling skills and BO. Kaino: I'll have you know I haven't had a shower in months... hummf. Shudo: That's not the kind of thing you admit to. Anyway I Summon one Monster in Defence mode and end my turn.
Kaino *Thinking*: *Draws* Huh I've never seen this card before lets see what it does. I play Shield Crash. Shudo: What, how did you get a card that rare and powerful. Kaino: I dunno what does it do. Shudo *AF*: It destroys any cards under an opponent's control, which prevents you from attacking moron. Kaino: I'll destroy DNA Surgery that makes Insect Barrier useless ahaha. Shudo: I thought you would go for Insect Barrier. Kaino: Anyway Terrorking Archfiend attacks his face-down card. Shudo: 4-Star Ladybug of Doom bye bye Terrorking Archfiend. Kaino: and now Zork attack him directly (LP: 200).
Shudo: I draw mmm *staring at his cards* all of you have failed me I laugh at your Duelling skills whatever your name is *Shudo took his Deck and threw it at Kaino* remember this day for I will never lose to anyone at Dual Monsters again from now on you haven't seen the last of me *Walks off*. Kaino: guess that means you surrender. *Shudo AF*
Kaino: He is so dramatic (A building is on fire in the distance). Celvise: That was because of what you did earlier. Kaino: Yes and let us never speak of it again. Anyway my first victory you wanna celebrate. Celvise: NO WAY, the last time we did I did some crazy shit I would never normally do unless I was... Kaino: Drunk. Celvise: Yeah that word, *shudders*. Kaino: Come on though a squirrel beating anyone at a drinking competition is funny.
Celvise: We don't mention that in public *stares burningly. ___________________________________________________________ Cinimond: sorry I will try to make the next one more funny, but I just rushed this chapter and what possible use is an Insect Deck.
Celvise: Okay, Mr. Squeekems round two. ????/Kaino/Announcer/Fireman/Jesus/and various others: chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug.
Cinimond: They ain't listening *shoots announcer* okay R&R plz and has any seen my leg.
Everyone: TTTHHHHHHEEEEEE EEEENNNNDDDDD Kaino: of Chapter 1. *Everyone: Anime Fall* Cinimond: R&R.
Kaino: What do you own then.
Cinimond: My own two feet.
Celvise *sawing off my feet*: Not any more, wonder how much I could get on Ebay for these.
Cinimond: Proof that you really can find anything on ebay.
Kaino: Let's just get on with this thing PLEASE.
Cinimond: One more thing this is an over used idea I know and that Battle City has been used to death, but I have made a few changes and they are not that different though, enjoy. ___________________________________________________________
Chapter 1: The Powers Awake (Well not yet, its just a cool title).
????: HEEELLLLLLLOOOO. Kaino are you awake yet.
Kaino: 10 more mins.
Kaino the person incapable of putting effort into anything in his life only a shell of his former self after losing everything. The only person who hasn't given completely up on him is his Best Friend after giving so much and getting nothing in return.
Celvise: That's it I coming in. (Extremely loudly) WAKE UP!?!
Celvise a never knows when to quit best friend of Kaino and always sticks by him no matter what even if he didn't want her help. She can read him like a book and always knows want he is really thinking, which really pisses him off but the level of understanding isn't always helpful.
Kaino *Recovering from a heart attack* Gets Turkey out the fridge. Celvise: You know that what-ya-ma-call-it thing starts today. Kaino puts the Turkey in the Microwave. Celvise: Oh what's it called. Kaino *Puts Microwave in oven*: Dual Monsters. Celvise: That's the one, which Tournament you are constantly on about starts today. Better get ready.
Kaino runs all over the place throwing his Deck together and ran out the door with Celvise following behind.
They both arrive at the Battle City Tournament site.
Announcer: This tournament will consist of the best Dualists in the world (Kaino smirks and gets hit on the head by Celvise) you all must defeat 10 opponent's which will be recorded by your Dual Disk, DD for short if you loss even one Dual your out of the Tournament and illegal tempering with the DD is against the Rules and you must hand over your entire Deck to your opponent as a prize and you will be... yack yack yack.
Kaino: Okay who's my first victim. Celvise: Mmm maybe you could put on the weak kids that will get you to the finals easy. You don't want to loss your entire Deck. Kaino: Okay let's see, you kid I want a Dual.
????: But I just started Dual Monsters. Kaino: Who cares your in the tournament lets Dual.
Both shuffle their Decks set the DD and begin.
????: I'll start with one card face-down and set one Monster and end my turn.
Kaino: I Summon Archfiend Soldier in attack mode and attack. ????: Activate Insect Larva Trap card which copies one Insect Monsters Effect, Attack and Defence power and you destroyed Skull-Marked Ladybug gives me 1000 more life points and do you end your Turn.
Kaino: I set two cards and end my turn.
????: I Set another Monster card and end my turn.
Kaino: I Summon Terrorking Archfiend in attack mode and attack you're Skull- Marked Ladybug and its effect is negated by his effect and Archfiend Soldier attacks your other card with Archfiend Soldier.
___________________________________________________________ Cinimond: I am a ware that Parasite Paraside's effect isn't activated if it's destroyed but since no good reason is given for this I don't play like that.
Kaino: You really are so boring no one cares God. ___________________________________________________________
????: You shouldn't have done that Parasite Paraside's effect is activated in your Deck it goes.
Kaino: Duho, I end my turn.
????: I activate Insect Barrier, Jade Insect Whistle which Summons my beautiful Parasite Paraside to the top of your Deck and Summons it tot the Field and end my turn.
Kaino: Great I can't attack and loss 800 life points, so I Summon Infernoqueen Archfiend in Defence mode and activate two Life-Force Absorbing Machines and end my turn.
????: I now Set one Monster and end my turn.
Kaino: You've made a good move but you seem a to have gone back to boring again oh well. ????: Shudda up who asked you. Kaino: Just saying (whispering: kids), and now I Summon Archfiend Soldier and increase my Infernoqueen Archfiends attack power by 1000 attack points and. ????: Hold it I activate Reverse Trap and her attack is now 0. Kaino *-_- sighs*: I play a card face-down and end my turn. What is your name anyway. Shudo: Shudo the Insect Master I make Evil Underpants (Weevil Underwood) look like a moron, which he is.
Kaino: okay. Celvise: Are all Dualists as well strange as him. Kaino: Comes with the territory.
Shudo: I Summon Neobug in attack mode and attack Infernoqueen Archfiend. *Neobug raised its claws and cleanly cut Infernoqueen Archfiend in half leaving nothing but a big mess. Kaino: What's the matter loser can't get my better monsters. Shudo: I would but they seem and little tied up right now *laughs* I set one card and end my turn. Celvise: That is the crapist joke ever and I've heard all of yours Kaino. *Kaino Anime Fall (AF)*
Kaino: I draw ALRIGHT I play Checkmate and sacrifice Parasite Paraside and attack!? ___________________________________________________________ Cinimond: Hold it I...
???? *ties up Cinimond and gags*: No more shit from you.
There was much rejoicing and then a fart. ___________________________________________________________
Kaino: directly with Terrorking Archfiend and now!? Shudo: I use DNA Surgery to change them all to Insect-types again told ya (LP: 3000). Kaino: No more interruptions (LP: 1400) okay I'll use another Life Force Absorbing Machine and Summon Shadowknight Archfiend and play Battle-Scared now you pay for Terrorking as well.
Shudo: (LP:2200) not good, okay I Set Monster and end my turn.
Kaino: Got ya, (LP: 1800) mine go up your LP goes down Muhahaha. I Summon another Archfiend Soldier and end my turn.
Shudo: I draw now my turn to laugh haha. Kaino: you should work on that. Shudo: I Summon the Insect Queen and sacrifice Neobug and Skull-Marked Ladybug (Att: 2600) and gain 1000 LP (LP: 2000) and attack Terrorking Archfiend I sacrifice Pinch Hopper:
Pinch Hopper got devoured and the Insect Queen shot high pressured acid at Terrorking who put his blade in front of him and resisted it for a moment but the acid burned the sword and Terrorking fell, what was left of him that is.
Kaino: Not good, I forgot how low my LP is (LP: 1400) okay my turn and I play Solemn Wishes and gain 900 altogether (LP: 2300), discard Desrook Archfiend to Special Summon Terrorking back to the field now I'll switch all my Monsters to defence.
Shudo: My move and I Summon this card in attack mode and use Cost Down discard Skull-Marked Ladybug and gain 1000 LP (LP: 3000). Kaino: Thank god that's the last one. Shudo: And Summon Insect Princess (Insect Queen Att: 2800) and play Banner of Courage and attack Archfiend Soldier and (Insect Princess Att: 2400) end my turn not forgetting my Insect Token.
Kaino: This has got very confusslying to keep up with anyway (LP: 3000) okay time to take control I play Terraforming and Gryphons Feather Duster (LP: 5000) and now say hello to Pandemonium Field-Change card and Summon Infernoqueen Archfiend and play one card face-down and play Card of Sanctity which lets us both draw 6 cards, play another card face-down and end my turn.
Shudo: I draw, play and sacrifice Anti-Aircraft Flower to attack with Insect Queen here we go again ahaha. Kaino: Not bad but still could use some work now I activate Sakuretsu Armour:
As the Flower was devour Terrorking Archfiend stood ready and armour appeared on him which deflected the acid straight back at Insect Queen and Terrorking watched as Insect Queen was burned to death slowly and laughed as he heard her scream in pain.
Kaino: Nice work Terrorking are you going to attack again. Shudo *staring at his face-down card*: I will at...play this card face-down... and end my turn.
Kaino *thinking*: I will have to think of something quick okay what are my options mmm. I draw... oh my I use Contract with the Dark Ruler and sacrifice these two cards from my Hand and Summon Zork the Dark Master and use his special effect and roll... 5 all your monsters are destroyed bye bye. Shudo: No my beautiful Insect Princess *cries* how. Kaino: I will increase Inferno Archfiend attack by 1000 (att: 1900) and my turn is over.
Celvise: When are you going to get rid of his bloody combo you moron. Kaino: I'm working on it. Celvise: That's what you always say then you lose, loser. Kaino: Bitch. Celvise: Person who couldn't get out of a wet paper bag. Kaino: The bag wasn't wet or paper is plastic and... SHUT UP we do not talk about that around anyone else.
Shudo: Right, anyway I Summon another Anti-Aircraft Flower and End my Turn.
Kaino: My move and I will activate Re-Dice Roll and end my turn.
Shudo: Okay I will summon Insect Soldier of the Sky and sacrifice it to deal 800 damage to your LP (LP: 4400) and end my turn.
Kaino: May not look much but that card could do some damage I draw and increase my Terrorking Archfiend's attack by 1000 (att: 3000) and play Shadowknight Archfiend and end my turn.
Shudo: I will play another Insect Soldier of the Sky and play Multiplication of Ants and sacrifice both Insect Tokens and do 1600 damage and then I sacrifice Anti-Aircraft Flower to Summon Empress Mantis and attack Shadowknight Archfiend and end my turn. (LP: 2600)
Kaino: Mmm that was a stupid move if you think about it. I need away to destroy that Insect Barrier but what I. I play two cards face-down, increase Terrorking Archfiend attack by 1000 (att: 4000) and end my turn.
Shudo: I attack Infernoqueen Archfiend (LP: 2100) and end my turn.
Kaino: Mmm... ... erm I've run out of decent cards. Not good okay Zork and Terrorking are stronger than Mantis but Insect Barrier blocks their attacks and I still can't destroy it mmm I use Zork's effect and roll... 6 I redo the dice roll with Re-Dice Rolls effects and get 1 I destroy Mantis.
Shudo: My move... so bored I might end up quitting at this rate... your Duelling skills is only matched by your drooling skills and BO. Kaino: I'll have you know I haven't had a shower in months... hummf. Shudo: That's not the kind of thing you admit to. Anyway I Summon one Monster in Defence mode and end my turn.
Kaino *Thinking*: *Draws* Huh I've never seen this card before lets see what it does. I play Shield Crash. Shudo: What, how did you get a card that rare and powerful. Kaino: I dunno what does it do. Shudo *AF*: It destroys any cards under an opponent's control, which prevents you from attacking moron. Kaino: I'll destroy DNA Surgery that makes Insect Barrier useless ahaha. Shudo: I thought you would go for Insect Barrier. Kaino: Anyway Terrorking Archfiend attacks his face-down card. Shudo: 4-Star Ladybug of Doom bye bye Terrorking Archfiend. Kaino: and now Zork attack him directly (LP: 200).
Shudo: I draw mmm *staring at his cards* all of you have failed me I laugh at your Duelling skills whatever your name is *Shudo took his Deck and threw it at Kaino* remember this day for I will never lose to anyone at Dual Monsters again from now on you haven't seen the last of me *Walks off*. Kaino: guess that means you surrender. *Shudo AF*
Kaino: He is so dramatic (A building is on fire in the distance). Celvise: That was because of what you did earlier. Kaino: Yes and let us never speak of it again. Anyway my first victory you wanna celebrate. Celvise: NO WAY, the last time we did I did some crazy shit I would never normally do unless I was... Kaino: Drunk. Celvise: Yeah that word, *shudders*. Kaino: Come on though a squirrel beating anyone at a drinking competition is funny.
Celvise: We don't mention that in public *stares burningly. ___________________________________________________________ Cinimond: sorry I will try to make the next one more funny, but I just rushed this chapter and what possible use is an Insect Deck.
Celvise: Okay, Mr. Squeekems round two. ????/Kaino/Announcer/Fireman/Jesus/and various others: chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug.
Cinimond: They ain't listening *shoots announcer* okay R&R plz and has any seen my leg.
Everyone: TTTHHHHHHEEEEEE EEEENNNNDDDDD Kaino: of Chapter 1. *Everyone: Anime Fall* Cinimond: R&R.
